Chapter Text
cover art by autiacora
It had never been easy being an omega in their modern society, but at least Donghae was a man, whose gender afforded him a modicum of respect that omega women had to fight to achieve. It wasn’t as if he could get pregnant, though the doctors told him he was fully capable of impregnating a woman when he found a mate. His sperm was fine. A female alpha could bear his child. Chances were high that she would give birth to another alpha. All was good.
Except for the fact that Donghae wasn’t attracted to women in the first place, and most of the female alphas who had been interested in him were aggressive and scary and insistent upon the idea that he would be a meek little house husband. Perhaps if he lived in another country, one where same-sex relationships were less controversial, he would have found things easier. He took suppressants to dampen his omega scent when his heats were near and had been raised in a family full of predominantly betas. His best friend was a beta. He used to often wish he had presented as a beta as well. But such was life.
As he had presented shortly after turning eighteen, even though his omega status had caused some concern and difficulty among his family and peers, Donghae had been able to finish school with the rest of his class without serious issue. As an omega he had received a waiver for his military service that allowed him to work as a public servant in an office setting, rather than being cooped up in a barrack. Previous incidents had made it a law that no omega males were allowed to be billeted with other soldiers due to the increased risk of assault.
Thankfully the people he worked for were kind and accommodating, and Donghae’s heats were mild at their worst since he was an unmated virgin. He knew things would get more intense later, but he assumed he would find his mate within a few years, and all would be well. Most mated pairs found one another by the time they were twenty-five, and Donghae hoped that even if his preference was not readily accepted by society, he would still manage to meet a male alpha who would be kind to him and accept him for who he was.
The best thing that came out of his public service was that he found a fascination for structural design. The office he worked for dealt in public buildings and works, and he was able to see how such things were proposed, designed, and enacted into actual physical structures. So, when he finished his service and applied to universities, he was thrilled to be accepted into a design course that would teach him how to be the person creating these public spaces for others to enjoy.
In an art class he had to take during his first year, he saw a familiar face. One of his older brothers’ friends, Jongwoon. While Dongwha and Jongwoon had drifted apart after high school, the slightly older man was happy to see his young acquaintance again. After switching his major away from law two years into university, Jongwoon was now starting over with interior design.
The two young men quickly became inseparable. Jongwoon was understanding with Donghae’s omega status, and very protective when anyone became too close, or too threatening. They quickly became roommates in a small apartment near campus, which helped Donghae feel safer as compared to the dorms. They graduated a year apart, interned at the same design company, where they were later hired on, and continued sharing an apartment, though it was much nicer than their previous one.
Some people at their company, however, had strong opinions about an omega in their workplace. While the younger workers didn’t much care as long as his work was exemplary, many of the older, more closed-minded people thought he should go back home and fulfill his duty to his mate.
The only problem was, Donghae didn’t have a mate. And it didn’t seem that he was going to be finding one anytime soon. He tried not to worry about it. People hit on him often, but he turned them down with kindness. He wasn’t interested in any empty affairs. He was saving himself for his life partner. It was a notion that was already old-fashioned for his generation. Most alphas and even many omegas fooled around with whomever they fancied until they met with their true mate. Some even denied the mating bond and continued to cheat on the partner they should be committing themselves to.
And then there were some, like Jongwoon’s friend from school, who simply didn’t get along with their mate outside the bedroom. The couple met up once or twice a month for sex, but otherwise lived entirely separate lives. They had few interests in common and wanted to do very different things in life. She stayed with her parents and siblings, working at a family business, and he lived the life of a bachelor, focused on his career.
It seemed like a very lonely way to spend the rest of your life, and Donghae thought he would rather have no mate at all than be stuck in a relationship where they were basically two strangers who used each other’s bodies when they needed a release. Once again, he envied Jongwoon for being a beta. Betas could choose whomever they wanted, sometimes even choosing an alpha or omega. They never had to succumb to a mysterious bond that would entangle their life with a stranger who could have any kind of personality. If a relationship wasn’t working out, they could simply cut ties and move on, never having to worry about their body betraying them, making them crave for their other half.
By the time Donghae turned 26 he was beginning to think that perhaps his wish would come true. Maybe he really didn’t have a mate out there looking for him. He had met many people by then, in all walks of life. He had even met a few gay men whom he found reasonably attractive. And even though a few of them were alphas and had expressed an interest in knowing him more intimately, he never smelled anything special about them, and they never said they smelled anything out of the ordinary about him. Though it didn’t stop the flirting or innuendo.
It was during the Christmas season of his 26 th year that two very important events happened. First, one of the senior partners of his company accused Donghae of coming onto him, saying that the young omega was trying to advance himself by offering favors to older alphas. The slanderous lie was devastating to Donghae, because even while he and a few friends attempted to defend against it, rumors had already begun circulating throughout the rest of the firm. In the end he was told that when he went on break for the holidays, he didn’t need to bother returning.
Jongwoon was, understandably, furious. Donghae barely stopped his friend from storming into their bosses’ office and throwing his own resignation letter in the man’s face. It was only when Donghae pleaded that they would lose their apartment if both were jobless, that the older man faltered. He knew that Donghae loved being independent. Having a place together allowed the omega a safe shelter where he could live like a normal person, without running back to his family. And even as he grumbled and cursed under his breath, Jongwoon knew that he had to bide his time while they searched for a better place of employment. Something that might be difficult for Donghae despite the quality of his work and his until-now stellar reputation.
After separating briefly for the holidays, a time where Donghae buried himself in the warmth and love of his family, speaking of his job only to mention that he was considering branching out to free-lance work or perhaps opening his own design firm, the two roommates met up again after the new year. Jongwoon had spent his time searching job listings and polishing up his resume. Donghae, who had kept up a brave front while at home, fell into his best friend’s arms and finally broke down. Neither man had a clue what they would do now, but Donghae especially was drowning in pessimism. He found it difficult to get up in the morning, cried often for no reason, and when his heat came on a month early, suffered more than usual. His hopes for the future were fading fast. He was 26 years old and didn’t yet have a mate. His brother had offhandedly made the comment that perhaps Donghae’s mate had passed away, or was living in a different country, theories that didn’t help at all.
After scolding Dongwha for making his little brother sad, his mother had taken Donghae to her favorite sauna for some pampering. And it was there, in the quiet of a private tea-room, that she reminded him of something he had nearly forgotten about.
When Donghae was eight years old, his school had gone on a trip. Donghae’s father, who had still been alive back then, had volunteered as a chaperone. It was an all-day adventure, with sight-seeing and a small boat trip. Many schools were there that day, and it was a boisterous atmosphere with lots of noisy children and a smattering of overwhelmed parents. Donghae was a friendly child, but he loved his father and stuck close to him, holding his hand throughout the day.
The weather had been beautiful as well, and the first hour of the boat ride was refreshing and fun. No one could have predicted the sudden storm that whipped up out of nowhere. Even less could they have known that there was some mechanical problem with the boat, and when it was caught in the downpour and heavy winds, it would get turned by the waves and eventually tip, nearly capsizing before righting itself. Nearly thirty people were thrown into the water, and others were hurt on and below decks due to the violent buffeting that tossed them around in the small corridors and rooms.
Donghae had broken his ankle and received a bump on the head. His father broke a few ribs trying to protect him from worse. But they were lucky. They had gone below deck for a tour and a bite to eat and didn’t see the storm coming. Of the thirty people who went in the water, a handful didn’t make it home alive. Two of them had been children. Back then, when Donghae screamed and cried for days that lasted into weeks, having blurry nightmares, and feeling like his world had been torn apart, his parents had sent him to a child counselor, thinking he had PTSD from the trauma of the events he had lived through.
Now, his mother posed the idea that perhaps Donghae’s mate had been one of those children. That his reaction, innocent and unknowing, had been grief over the loss of his future partner. It was a sobering thought, one that, paired with the loss of his livelihood and a general malaise of being in his mid-20’s, closing on 30, with nothing to look forward to, sent him spiraling into a state of depression.
Jongwoon let him mope around the apartment for a few weeks before finally insisting that they go out and have some fun. A friend of his from school was having a birthday party at a fancy club downtown. Donghae vaguely remembered Siwon; good-natured and polite, handsome, and very wealthy. He had been a double major in business and architecture and was intending to take over his family business someday. Nevertheless, Donghae had no intention of going out, and was insistent that he was staying home right up to the moment where he found himself entering the club, wearing the clothes that Jongwoon had picked out.
He felt grumpy and out of sorts. His most recent heat had been agonizing, something his doctor had told him might happen as he got older, especially if he remained unmated. The prescription drugs had helped ease the pain, but with all the depressing things roaming around in his head, the last thing Donghae wanted was to be around people.
Yet Siwon seemed thrilled to see them both. And when the conversation inevitably came around to talk about their professions, Donghae was just drunk enough to angrily tell the story of how he had been let go from his job because of one man’s lie and society’s backward view of omegas. It was gratifying to see how appalled Siwon and the others at the table were upon hearing the story. And even more gratifying when one of those people, a rather attractive alpha who had been watching Donghae for most of the evening, gave him a charming smile and slid closer.
Twenty-six would turn out to be a year full of changes and new adventures, and two of them had their start at that party. Donghae didn’t go home with the handsome alpha that evening, but when the man somehow obtained his number and asked him on a date, he didn’t say no. At this point what was he even saving himself for? While there was nothing about the man that indicated he was Donghae’s mate, he was still polite and kind when they went on dates, and instructively domineering when their dates progressed to someone’s bedroom. He rationalized that if his mate was still out there somewhere, surely, he too, would have done something in the way of experimentation. Assuming they were around the same age, as most mates were, it was almost foolish to believe that two healthy males of their age wouldn’t have fooled around a little. Also, how would he know how to please his future mate, if he had one, when he’d never done anything more than a little kissing and hand holding back in high school?
At any rate, Donghae had made clear to his partner that their relationship was not undertaken with an eye to settling down. They had fun, and it was mutual, and after about seven months, when things began to cool off and both became too busy with their careers to spend much time together, they parted ways with nothing but cordial feelings.
What career? Well, that was the second thing to come of Siwon’s birthday party. While Donghae was busy drunkenly flirting with a handsome alpha, Jongwoon and Siwon were discussing the possibility of a business venture. And once Donghae sobered up and listened to what the two men came up with, his heart blossomed with a different kind of hope.
Choi Industries had many branches of business, but Siwon was particularly fond of the architectural side, and had majored in architecture to have a hand in designing new buildings to decorate Seoul and beyond. He proposed that Donghae and Jongwoon have a hand at designing the interior spaces of one of the new high-rises his company was building. If their designs were accepted, Siwon would be interested in helping them set up their own firm, under his company’s banner, with priority given to Choi Industry projects, but the freedom to work on other projects when their time was available.
It felt like a dream. Moreso when their proposals, slaved over during late nights, with Donghae working from home, and Jongwoon contributing his spare time after working his other job, were accepted. Within a few months they had become partners in Tempus Designs, moving into a small office complex in one of the Choi office buildings. Jongwoon quit his job with flair, turning in his final project and his resignation letter on the same day.
With a new job and a steady date, Donghae felt like his life was finally on track again. It wasn’t always easy, of course. Siwon’s company didn’t always like what they came up with, and there were times when entire designs needed to be scrapped and begun again. But with the support and guarantee of work, their fledgling company didn’t have to worry too much about being idle. There were always projects to work on, and as others saw the results of their work in person, more interest was turned their way. By Donghae’s 27 th Christmas, he was happy to inform his family that the new firm was doing well, and he was happy.
Over the next roughly two years, his life was busy and full. There were dates here and there and a few short, easy relationships focused on mutual pleasure and occasional outings. Work kept him very busy and gaining a reputation as an omega who ran a successful company was heartening. It was rare for anyone to try to denigrate him or sneer at his status now, and even when it happened, his friends were always there to brush it off and cheer him on.
But thirty was looming large. And despite his success, and the fact that he was now living in an apartment of his own – even though Jongwoon was just across the hall in his own place – Donghae was feeling lonely. His friends were mostly mated or married. His brother had a beta wife and two children already. The men Donghae could find to date were either betas who hadn’t settled down, or alphas whose mated status was often questionable. If he kept things casual, it didn’t worry him too much. Yet he longed for a person to call his own. Whether it was a true mate, or simply another lonely soul like himself who wanted to settle down and commit to a life together, he no longer concerned himself with labels.
Having his own place was nice. He could live as he pleased with no one telling him what to do or scolding him for what he didn’t. He had a small circle of friends who would always be there for him, and often babied and spoiled him. Jongwoon was guiltiest of this, but then again, they had been the closest of friends for many years. Being a gentle, sweet-natured omega did have some benefits though, especially when you surrounded yourself with nice people. Siwon, for example, even though he was a mated alpha, was very caring and indulgent toward Donghae. Many other friends were the same. Jongwoon jokingly called him “the protective hyung collector” because he had so many slightly older friends that looked out for him.
A part of him still longed for his mate, though, even as he told himself he might never find him.
That was why he was so shocked when he suddenly smelled the most enticing aroma he had ever perceived, right there on the concourse of the shopping mall he and Jongwoon were helping design. The mall had celebrated its grand opening a few days before, even though they were still putting the finishing touches on a few areas. Donghae and Jongwoon had stopped for coffee after a meeting, and were hanging out on the upper balcony, people-watching and admiring their hard work. His best friend was in the middle of a story about a flipped blueprint, when Donghae’s brain went into overdrive, blotting out all sound and making his vision go hazy.
It was sandalwood musk mixed with freshly brewed coffee and a hint of French vanilla cream. Inhaling deeply, Donghae closed his eyes for a moment to let the incredible scent inundate his senses. Then he opened them with a start, almost dropping his coffee as he leaned forward, gripping the rail of the balcony, and gazing around the crowded concourse in a state of shock.
For a few moments he didn’t even realize Jongwoon was talking to him. Blinking, he turned to his friend, realizing that his coffee was now held in the other man’s hand and his best friend was staring at him with a hopeful, questioning gaze.
“The smell…” he managed to utter, feeling his eyes tear up a bit as warmth rose in his body. “It’s so beautiful.”
“You…” Jongwoon seemed to understand what was happening, and smiled with relief, “You smell someone? Your mate?”
“It…” Donghae tore his eyes from his friend and stared around him in mild dismay, “it can’t be. Can it? After all this time?”
“Why not?” Jongwoon appeared more excited than Donghae.
The truth was, Donghae’s heart and mind were in chaos. The idea that his long-suppressed dreams could be about to come true clashing with a pessimistic need to not let his hopes get too high in case they came crashing down on top of him.
His best friend put a hand on his shoulder, stepping closer to the rail. Donghae’s eyes were darting from one person to another, assuming that if he was able to smell his alpha, then the reverse should be true as well. In a small voice, he admitted, “I want it to be him.”
“Then let’s try to find him. I’ll help you look.”
With the support and encouragement, Donghae relaxed enough to close his eyes once more and take a deep inhale. He couldn’t miss the scent in the air, and realized it was getting stronger. Whoever it was clearly seemed to be heading closer to Donghae. Sandalwood and vanilla cream coffee. His two favorite scents. It had to be his mate.
Belatedly, he wondered what he would smell like to his future partner. Other alphas had told him differing opinions over the years. It was known that alphas and omegas presented different scents to different people, depending on the likes and dislikes of that person. But your true scent, the one that was meant for your mate, could only be accurately described by them. It was said to be overwhelming, heavenly, the perfect combination of the scents that evoked comfort, security, and love. Donghae’s father had always smelled like sandalwood, and he had always made Donghae feel loved and happy. Coffee was his comfort drink, giving him warmth and energy even on his worst days. Of course, his mate would smell this way.
But where was he? And was it even a he? Panicking, Donghae started searching the crowd with a renewed urgency. Was there someone else doing the same? Trying to locate the source of his own intoxicating scent?
“I don’t see anyone,” Donghae wailed like a pitiful child, garnering a few raised eyebrows from the people around them. Even if he was justified after waiting so long, he realized that it must be somewhat surprising to see a mature, handsome, relatively well-developed man in a suit acting like a frightened baby. Well, he was an omega after all. He deserved to act a bit childish under the circumstances. “I need to go look for him.”
“No!” Jongwoon nearly shouted, holding him back and eliciting a whine from the younger man. “If you’re both roaming around you might never run into each other. Just stay here. Is the smell getting stronger or weaker?”
“Stronger,” Donghae sighed after taking another deep breath. Eyeing all the people in the shopping mall concourse, he tried not to give in to despair. He saw some giggling girls, couples, parents with children, a group of teenagers running up the down escalator and garnering a few shouts from irritated passengers. There were shop employees, maintenance staff, casual shoppers and people having lunch. So many people, how could he ever pinpoint the right one?
“Calm down, Hae. You can’t get too stressed, or your scent will change. Just breathe and try to concentrate on the smell.”
“Okay,” he agreed, closing his eyes again, taking a few calming breaths and focusing on his mate’s scent. It was even stronger than before, making his body heat up even more, causing him to sweat inside his suit. He wanted… he wanted this. Wanted him. Not just sexually, though there were twinges of desire mixed in. But he needed to be close to this person and could swear he felt that same need mingling into the smell that was saturating his entire being.
From beside him, he suddenly heard a small, shocked, “Oh!” from Jongwoon, and snapped open his eyes, his first thought that the teenagers that had been causing trouble on the escalator were now coming to bother them. It wouldn’t be the first time some punk alpha had wanted to mess with an omega, and these young men in their ripped jeans and leather jackets fit the type.
At least until the one closest to him raised his head, his eyes traveling up Donghae’s body until they reached his face. The smell was him. This boy. A child. This couldn’t be true! Life wasn’t this unfair! How could Donghae’s mate be this wary-eyed ruffian who barely looked old enough to have presented?
But then he smiled, all traces of suspicion and concentration melting from his face as his pearly white teeth emerged, plush lips stretching until a hint of pink gums were showing; little, tiny creases appearing next to his large, dark – beautiful - monolid eyes.
“Hi,” the young man breathed out in a voice that felt like a caress. “I’m Hyukjae. I think I’m your mate.”