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"...And then she got annoyed because I kept on bringing up about my latest Pokemon card pull, saying I need to stop with that lame shit. First of all, I only mentioned it twice. Secondly, it is not lame! It was a Neo Genesis 1st Edition Holo Lugia!" Matthew complained, shoving a spoonful of his third tub of mint chocolate ice cream.
Taerae let out a hum, nodding along with Matthew's rants while chugging a cola. He's been listening to Matthew ranting about his girlfriend—well, ex girlfriend, who broke things off with him last month after a year of dating. It wasn't really surprising for Taerae given that Matthew's relationships only last for weeks, with his recent one being the longest. Which he really doesn't get because despite Matthew's peculiar personality and interests, he was an ideal guy to date.
"I don't know, man. Giselle just went off and broke up with me. I'm trying to figure out why... Damn, is it because I couldn't tell the difference between coral pink and salmon pink? They were pretty much the same color."
"They're two different shades, Matthew. Maybe that's why she broke up with you." Taerae snorted, wiping a fake tear under his eye.
Matthew shoved his arm with a pout. "That's mean, dude! I don't think she'd be petty like that."
Taerae shuffled in his seat in the couch, facing Matthew who is still stuffing his face with mint chocolate ice cream. "Look, Matthew. Jokes aside, you shouldn't really dwell on this. It's not like it's your first failed relationship. If I remember correctly, it's the fifth time. Well, Giselle did took quite longer enduring you compared to the last two exes you had." Matthew grumbled at the mention of his exes, earning a teasing grin from Taerae.
"I'm kidding, I'm kidding! But all I'm saying is, she might have her reasons. And whatever happened, happened. You're a good guy, Matt. Maybe it just really didn't work out between you two." Taerae says, clapping his hand on Matthew's thigh as comfort. Matthew nodded and let out a breathy laugh as the two shared knowing smiles at each other.
Matthew laid his head on Taerae's lap, sprawled all over him. "Thanks, Taerae. You really are the best."
Taerae only hums, running his fingers through Matthew's hair. "You know me so well. Always knowing how to comfort me even if it means having to hear you tease me forever."
"I..." Taerae looks down on Matthew who paused his statement as his breath stutters slow.
"Sometimes I wish you were a girl, Taerae..." Matthew mutters as he falls into slumber. Taerae's breath hitched, an aching feeling forming in his chest.
Of course. Despite being in love with Matthew for years, being with him through his ups and downs, his firsts, watching him fall in love and out of love, get his heart beating and broken by everyone but him, Taerae will never be enough. Because he is not a girl.
God knows how it hurt him to see Matthew treat other girls the way he wants to be treated by him. It pains him so much that he will only remain as Matthew's best friend because he could never see Taerae that way. Taerae should've known. Matthew has only dated girls his whole life so how on Earth could he imagine a life where Matthew looks at him with hearts in his eyes? Pure insanity that is.
Makes it even worse that Matthew is such a kind and lovely soul. They became friends during the days where Taerae hasn't been completely true to himself. Matthew was there to be his shoulder to cry on when Taerae realized he liked boys after an encounter with a friend and as bare minimum as it goes, he appreciated Matthew for being so accepting towards him even with his lack of knowledge about the community. Nonetheless, Matthew never treated Taerae any less different, which made it easier for Taerae to see the beauty of the Canadian inside and out.
Taerae could only gulp and hold the tears threatening to leave his eyes, his hand still caressing Matthew's hair as he uttered a small whisper. "Me too, Matt."
Taerae groaned as he felt the numbing sting from his legs. He opened his eyes to see Matthew still nuzzled on his thigh, trapped in a cozy sleep. Taerae could only let out a smile of adoration as he stared at Matthew until he decides to ruffle his head to wake him up.
“Wake up, sleepyhead. My thighs can't breathe." Taerae joked as he poked on Matthew to provoke him to wake up.
Matthew whined, stirring from Taerae's lap before opening his eyes. Shock painted his face after finally waking up, scooting away from Taerae. "What's your problem? Had a nightmare, Mattie?" Taerae joked yet Matthew still had the look of shock on his face.
"W-what... How do you know my name?" Matthew asked inching farther from where Taerae was. "What? Did you get amnesia just after sleeping? Ha ha, very funny." Taerae sarcastically stated, still irked at how Matthew is acting.
"I'm serious, Miss. Who are you and... Why are you wearing Taerae's clothes?"
Taerae's eyebrows scrunched in confusion. Miss? Taerae's clothes? Did he accidentally dropped Matthew while they fell asleep on the couch hence the way he's acting weirdly around him?
"Look, Matthew. I don't know what games your playing but I'm pretty sure you can't get an amnesia overnight but—" Wait. Since when was Taerae's voice so high pitched? And why does his clothes feel much more lose on him? And why is Matthew still acting and looks like he doesn't know nor recognize him at all?
Taerae immediately grabs his phone to open the camera to find... a girl in the reflection? He had long black hair with bangs, his features almost the same except more femininely enhanced. No adam's apple bobbing in his throat. And no subtle stubbles from the beard he shaved last week.
Taerae screamed and threw his phone away, causing Matthew to also scream from his reaction. "Oh my fucking God! I'm a girl!" Taerae exclaimed in disbelief. "Matthew, I'm a girl. What the fuck."
"Yes, you are, Miss. I don't know why you're stating the obvious, much less why you are even in our apartment wearing my best friend's close but yes, you are a girl." Matthew exhaled, still looking traumatized from this encounter.
"Matthew, you idiot, it's me, Taerae! Jesus, I'm a fucking girl. How the fuck..." Taerae stands up with both hands around his head, still bewildered at whatever situation they are in.
"Taerae? What do you mean you're Taerae? That's impossible. You're a girl!" Matthew remarked, moving slightly closer to Taerae now to observe his... her (?) form.
"I fucking know that, Matthew. But I don't really know how or why. It just happened. All I remember was you ranting about your break up with Giselle and me being the bestest friend ever comforting your ass and now I've shapeshifted because of God knows what. Fuck!" Taerae raved as he pranced back and forth, hands still above his head.
"Holy shit! You really are Taerae. What the fuck is happening dude..." Matthew sits down on the couch in defeat.
"I don't know, Matt. I'm getting the heebie jeebies."
What does it mean when a guy suddenly turns into a girl overnight?
sigmabaseone: he's probably gay LOL
"I am gay but Jesus fuck, that's not the fucking point."
A biological male who surgically transitions to a close approximation of a female is called a transsexual woman. If, however, this biological male decides to transition—
"This isn't helping. Change the search."
How to turn back into a guy who turned into a girl overnight?
Detransitioning? Click here for more information...
"Fuck! Google, Reddit, Quora. They aren't fucking helping, dude." Matthew said, scratching his head. Taerae could only face palm himself as multiple thoughts swirl around his mind. They have been searching on the Internet for God knows how long about what has happened to Taerae, finding answers to questions on how it is possible for Taerae to suddenly turn into a girl overnight and how to turn back to the way he was before.
"I'm gonna go insane. How am I gonna face my family? My friends? The outside world?" Taerae dramatically said, slamming his back against the couch in frustration and wincing at the impact as Matthew still typed his way into the laptop to find more answers.
"Taerae, I'm pretty sure they'll still see and treat you the same. Just... a bit baffled at first." Matthew replies, giving up on searching by slamming the laptop shut. "But are you okay? Does your body feel weird or do you need anything for..." Matthew stutters, blush painting his face as he eyed Taerae's chest before looking away. Taerae reddened at his reaction.
He smoothened his hands on his hoodie, squirming in his seat. "I'm fine. It's just... my body feels lighter than usual. But everything's still the same. I just have long hair... and b-boobs... and probably a vag—"
"All right, all right! No need to mention it, bro. Geez!" Matthew was flustered and Taerae was secretly enjoying how Matthew was acting. "Why so flustered, Matt? I thought I'm still the same old best friend of yours." Taerae grinned, nudging at Matthew's shoulder to which he tried to dodge.
"It's not that, T. Just really weirded out at how this happened. I mean, seriously, were you cursed or I don't know, pissed off someone who's actually a wizard or something?"
"I don't know how to answer that. But," Taerae paused, looking right back at Matthew with an arched eyebrow, "I do remember you mumbling in your sleep about wishing I were a girl. Care to share?"
Matthew flushed pink before sighing in defeat. "I-it's not that serious, okay? I just thought that... none of my exes really understood me the way you do. Which made me thought that... you being a girl would've been easy for me to... you know..." Matthew stutters causing Taerae's face to red from the realization of what he was implying. But deep down, there's a sense of grief that washes over him to make him come back to reality that everything would be perfect for them both if he were just befitting of Matthew's standard and preferences.
"B-but anyways, this might've just been like a glitch in the matrix or whatever. Maybe you'll turn back the next day?"
"Hmm... Maybe I will." Taerae looks at the time on his phone. "Shit! I forgot I was meeting with Hao hyung and Hanbin hyung. I gotta get ready!"
"You're gonna meet them looking... like that?" Matthew worries.
"I'm not one to back down on plans I've agreed on already. Plus, I'll explain to them. They'll be fine... I think... I hope so." Taerae said before rushing to his room to fix himself up.
"Are you sure you didn't snort anything last night? 'Cause whatever you're saying right now does not make sense and it's giving me a headache." Hao asked, a mixture of shock and confusion painting his face.
Taerae sighed, "It is real. Even Matthew couldn't believe it. I still don't believe it."
Hanbin snakes a hand on a strand of Taerae's hair and tugged on it. "Woah! It really is real. Thought I would've snatched your wig. Get it?" Hanbin teases as Taerae knocks his hand off and scoffed. "Shut it, that hurt!"
"Do you know how this happened? And when will you turn back?"
"I don't know, hyung. Me and Matthew searched for answers but it gave us nothing useful. I'm going insane now."
"What if this is some type of 'princess and the frog' situation?" Hanbin asked, munching on a fry. "And who will be my single ass kissing?" Taerae raises an eyebrow.
"Matthew." Hao and Hanbin uttered at the same time, causing Taerae to choke on the coke he was sipping on. "What!? Why the fuck would you say that?!" He coughed.
Hao dramatically rolled his eyes while Hanbin snickered and pointed at Taerae's reaction. "Oh please, Rae. We all know you're in love with Matthew. Probably have been for the years you've been best friends."
"H-how... w-what..."
"Honey, the eyes! They never lie. You always look at him like he carries the sun and moon in his arms and scattered the stars in the night sky. Like he's some heaven-sent angel, which he truly is, but you get what I mean. You have heart eyes for him since like, day one! Who wouldn't assume about your feelings for him when you're so easy to read when it comes to Matthew."
Taerae pursed his lips, feeling shy from grasping the fact that he was so transparent about his feelings towards Matthew all this time. "Fine, fine. But your theory is shit and I'm not kissing him."
"Even if you really really want to?" Hanbin poked fun at before making kissy noises and running his hands all over his body. Taerae grabbed a fry and threw it at Hanbin to which he dodged while laughing. "I. do. not." Taerae emphasized, sinking back into his seat.
"But baby, I will admit, you look so hot as a girl. I mean, you were always hot. But now? I am on my knees." Hao dramatized, looking back at Taerae with wide doe eyes. "For sure. You'd definitely sweep men at your feet if you weren't wearing such... atrocious looking clothes." Hanbin claimed, looking at Taerae from head to toe with slight judgment.
"Atrocious?! These are my regular clothes, hyung..." Taerae pouted. He knew that his style differ from his friends and most of his peers but he didn't think it was that bad. It was just more colorful and experimental.
"That's the point, Rae. You're hot but you're always limiting yourself to hoodies and sweatpants. Show off your shiny skin and pretty little waist!" Hao said before standing up. "You know what, fuck it. Let's go shopping. Ricky is hosting a party tonight and we'll be going. Which means you, my dear, need to look presentable. Chop chop! We're giving you a make over."
Taerae swallowed a thick amount of saliva that was forming at the back of his mouth, fiddling with his skirt nervously as he stood by the entrance to the living room where people are partying, the booming bass of the music infiltrating his ears.
"Oh, Rae, you look so hot right now. I can already feel the men you'll be bagging tonight." Hao squealed, squeezing Taerae's shoulder in delight. An uncertainty remains on Taerae's face as he stood awkwardly, hesitating to enter where the life of the party is happening.
Draped in Taerae was a halter top accentuating his pretty collarbones and the right amount of his milky skin, cropped just right above his belly button. He was wearing a short leather skirt showing off the curve of his ass, with ripped black tights and heeled boots. He felt hot in the outfit Hao and Hanbin chose for him yet it was still a foreign feeling for him to be wearing clothes that don't really scream Taerae, even as a girl.
"I don't know about this, Hao. I don't even like to party. Can I just go?" Taerae bit his lip in anxiousness. "You guys can still go on and enjoy."
"Taerae, listen to me. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity for you. Explore and just try. I promise if you really don't fuck with this party after an hour or two, we'll get out of here. Okay?" Taerae could only nod at Hao's compromise as they entered the party.
Everyone was either dancing in a hype or just nodding and swaying their bodies while they chattered with each other, a few couples swapping spit here and there at every corner of the place, and rowdy frat guys cheering and hooting playing beer pong. Taerae's nose twitched as he smelled a mix of cigarette and weed in the air, holding his breath after that whiff.
“I’m gonna be sick.” Taerae claimed as he held a hand over his nose to prevent any drug-induced air entering his lungs. They entered the kitchen where various types of alcohol and fruit punches (that most definitely still has alcohol in it) laid.
Hao grabbed red cups to pour for him, Taerae, and Hanbin, handing it out to them before raising his own cup. “Let’s have fun. To our friendship and freedom.”
”Geez, Hao hyung, you’re not the type to initiate something this corny and you haven’t even drank yet.” Hanbin sneered.
”Oh, shut up and just drink.”
The three shouted cheers! in unison before downing their drinks, Taerae being the only one to wince from the hot bitter taste sliding down his throat.
”That drink was nasty. What was that?”
”Doesn’t matter. Let’s dance!” Hao cheered as he dragged Taerae and Hanbin to the dance floor.
They were welcomed with bodies of people pressed together while swaying their arms in the air. It was a cramped and slightly sticky situation but they made their way to an area with the right amount of space for the three of them. The music was playing an upbeat pop song that led to Hao vogueing on the dance floor while Hanbin was popping and tutting. Taerae laughed with them while also joining, moving his hands along his body while his hips did all the work.
Taerae was really feeling himself under the loud music, giggling to himself until he was met with someone’s back against his.
”Oh, I’m so sorr—“ “I’m sorry, Mi— Taerae?”
Taerae glanced back at the person he bumped into to see Matthew and boy, did it make him dizzy.
Matthew was wearing a black zip jacket with a black silk turtleneck underneath, black slacks, and some combat boots that made him stand inches taller than Taerae. His hair was slicked back deliciously, earrings dangling, and his lips an enticingly inviting pink. Taerae could also smell a whiff of his cologne, a tinge scent of wood and mint, making his head spin.
He looked absolutely gorgeous. Heck, even too fancy for this messy party they are in but Taerae could not give two shits. He only had one thing in mind and that was to pounce on Matthew and devour him whole. This look of his was too dangerous and undeserving of a lot people to look at for free.
Taerae could only gulp at nothing and muster up the courage to speak up to the beautiful man in front him that is his best friend. “M-Matthew, hi! I didn’t know you were c-coming here.”
”I’m more surprised to see you. Thought you weren’t such a party person?” Matthew grinned, now stepping closer to Taerae.
”W-Well, Hao hyung dragged me here. Said I should have a little fun and I just agreed,” Taerae jabs a thumb at Hao and Hanbin’s direction where they were definitely eyeing on them with teasing looks but Taerae just ignored it. “Though I may be having regrets now. This party is so… messy and loud.”
”Didn’t look like you had any regrets. You were dancing.”
”Yeah, well, the hyungs made it bearable.”
”Then, do you wanna dance again? With me this time.” Matthew asked, offering a hand with a smile.
Taerae’s heart rammed in his chest as he took Matthew’s hand that’s leading them to the dance floor with no hesitation.
They stood in front of each other while moving to the groove of the song as they shared small laughs and minimal teasing to ease the awkward tension.
”You look different today.” Matthew starts a conversation, still swaying to the beat of the music. Taerae moved along awkwardly, feeling stiff from the little space between him and Matthew. "I mean, I did just randomly shapeshifted into a girl so yeah, I do look different."
Matthew let out a laugh before shaking his head. "No, I mean, you look beautiful. Really." Taerae's eyes widened at the sudden compliment, blushing as his eyes find itself looking at anything, anyone, anywhere but Matthew's own.
"Shut up. You're only saying that because I'm a girl right now." Taerae swatted at his chest, earning another laugh from Matthew. "Nah. I've always found you dashing." Matthew admitted with a genuine smile.
A blush remained on his face as his heartbeat increased from the genuine words of his best friend. Taerae couldn't help but overthink his words. Was he doing all of this to ease Taerae from his current situation? Or does he really look beautiful in Matthew's eyes? But does he view it in Taerae's current form or who Taerae really is?
His train of thoughts were interrupted by the change of music, a song with a seductive melody and sultry lyrics ringing in his ears. Matthew grinned, taking Taerae's hands and teasingly swaying it in his in a circular motion. Taerae could only laugh, playing along with Matthew and started swaying his hips.
Their playful little dance together turned heated as Taerae playfully wrapped his arms around Matthew's neck, causing the glint in Matthew's eyes to change as his hands snaked around Taerae's hips. Taerae can't tell if it's the alcohol that's doing all this boldness between the two of them but fuck it, Matthew looks so alluring in front of him that he cannot help but move his hands and body closer to his best friend than think first with his brain.
And in one moment, Matthew's lips were an inch away from his, warm and minty breath fanning his face and seducing him to close the gap. Fuck, fuck, fuck it! Taerae, for once, chose the impulsive tug at his heart, and pulled Matthew towards him, hovering his lips onto Matthew's mouth. Matthew's eyes widened in surprise but slowly melted into the kiss as his hand gripped onto Taerae's waist while the other cradled his face. Taerae relaxed his arms around Matthew's neck, raking his fingers through Matthew's hair and letting out a sigh.
The two did not have a single care about the deafening and blinding surroundings as they were entangled in each other's warmth within their own world. Matthew hummed, nipping at Taerae's lower lip, asking for permission, to which he granted, welcoming Matthew's tongue into his cavern. Their tongues tangoed against each other, exchanging wetness and heat that travelled to their crotches. Taerae could only let out a whine in between their continuous lip locking as he felt Matthew's hands travel far south, sending shivers to his spine.
Matthew's hands stopped just above the area where his lower back and ass meet, his lips parting Taerae's with a trail of saliva in between them. As their eyes meet comes the vision of their ravished looks, mouths red and glistening and their eyes mirroring lust and desire.
"Wow, I—" Matthew's words trailed as his eyes followed something through the crowd behind Taerae, eyebrows furrowed. "I... I'll be back, Rae." And with that, Matthew disappeared amongst the sea of people.
Taerae, in a daze from the kiss he and Matthew just shared, finally snapped out of it. He moved out of the dance floor and searched for his friends who were giggling together while trying to do a messy love shot, which was probably their 10th one now.
"Guys, you don't know what just happened like—"
"What, you hooked up with someone on the dance floor or something?" Hanbin slurred, poking onto Taerae's dimple to which Taerae responded by poking back with his tongue through his cheek, startling Hanbin and making him laugh crazy.
"Yes, hyung! God, Matthew—"
"OH, MATTHEW! Weren't you just dancing with him like just now? Cause I—" Hao burped, causing Hanbin to laugh even more and slap him on the shoulder. "I just literally seen him trailing some hot girl in the kitchen or something. Uh, what was her name again? Drizzle? Jessie? Ugh, I don't fucking know." Hao shrugged, downing another tequila shot.
Taerae's smile faltered from Hao's words as an aching pain swelled in his chest. Matthew going after his ex? After the kiss they had at the dance floor? Was he really just drunk and kissed him on impulse? Did he regret kissing Taerae, realizing that the girl he just kissed was his male best friend who just so happened to turn into a girl? He wouldn't think of nor do that to Taerae... right?
His feet lead him to where the kitchen was, crashing through drunk people to see for himself what Hao was talking about. Taerae's breath was caught in his throat as he saw Matthew's back facing him as he stared down at Giselle whom he was cornering in the kitchen aisle. Isa was smiling up at him and he couldn't tell what it means but it broke his heart.
Taerae felt betrayed and used by the guy he was pining over for years. And just when he finally got to experience something that he has always dreamt of; kissing Matthew in that dance floor was magical and he wished for that moment to just freeze and have himself stuck there for the rest of his life. But of course it was all in his imagination. After all, he was just Matthew's best friend. Worst of all, he's a guy. A gay guy who is in love with his straight best friend that was obviously still hung up on his ex.
With a sad and empty heart from what he had witnessed, Taerae let out a painful scoff, walking away and out of the party.
Matthew is fucked. Matthew is so fucked.
Just an hour ago he had his lips locked with his best friend who so happens to have turned into a girl. And he can't help but revisit the scene in his head. The warmth of Taerae's mouth and the burning touch of his fingers raking through his hair and the sweet scent he always wears are the thoughts he cannot escape from after doing what he did.
But what he couldn't stop thinking about was his conversation with his ex girlfriend back in the party.
"Giselle." Matthew calls out as the girl pours herself a cup from the fruit punch bowl, downing it as she stared at Matthew.
"Hey, Matt. Are you enjoying my gift?" She was wearing a smirk on her face that Matthew couldn't decipher.
"Gift? What gift?"
"Oh, come on. You were just dancing with him—well her, just now." Giselle giggled, grabbing a bottle of vodka to pour on her cup along with lemon and salt.
"W-Wait, what? How did you..." Matthew paused, "You're the one that turned Taerae into a girl?"
"Surprise! Did you like it?" She grinned, shimmying her hands in the air like what she did was applaudable.
"Like it? What the fuck is wrong with you?"
"Oh chill, Matthew! It's not like you weren't enjoying eating his face out on the dance floor just now." Giselle raised an eyebrow with a smirk that irks Matthew.
"T-That's not... I just," Matthew huffs, "I don't get why you did that or whatever game you're playing but you better turn him back."
Giselle rolls her eyes, setting the cup of alcohol down to lift and sit herself up the kitchen counter. "I'm pretty sure he'll turn back to normal after that kiss you shared."
"What? Is this some Walmart Disney shit? A kiss was the solution to turn him back?"
"No, it's not. Did you not confess to him before or after the kiss?" Giselle crossed her arms.
"Confess? Confess what?" Matthew furrowed his eyebrows, getting more frustrated of Isa's answers.
"You fucking idiot. Do I have to spell it out for you? You're in love with him! Telling him you love him would turn him back!"
Matthew stilled. What does she mean by 'you're in love with him'? She's saying absurd things about him.
"I can hear your dumb ass thoughts here. Of course you're not aware of your feelings. What did I expect of you."
"I—I'm not, in love with Taerae." Matthew cleared up, grabbing a cup and poured himself a bottle of vodka, downing it in one go and wincing. "You're crazy, Giselle."
"This. This is why I broke up with you and casted that silly spell I found on an old magic book I found at a vintage store. You aren't even aware of how in love you were with Taerae during—even before we started dating!" Giselle grabbed the bottle of vodka and started drinking from it directly. "I had to endure all of your yapping about your roommate slash best friend who is just funny and amazing and cute."
"I—I never—" Giselle cuts him off. "Oh shut up! Every time we go on dates or are just together, Taerae always goes into the topic of our conversations. How you pranked him by adding lemon to his food when you know he dislikes sour food or how you find it funny when you make him lose on purpose when you team up with him in online games or you make fun of his wardrobe color palette."
Matthew pursed his lips. He didn't really realize he talked about Taerae so much with Giselle that it became the reason they broke up—not until Giselle revealed it to his face.
"I still don't understand why you would do this. And involving Taerae too. We already broke up last month and you were the one that called things off. Are you still hung up on me?"
Giselle paused before breaking into a laugh, causing other people who were walking by the kitchen to be startled and stare at her as the pass by. "Oh. My. God. You cannot be serious, Matt." She wipes a tear in her eye. "I casted the spell as a joke a day after we broke up. I only got to confirm that it worked when I saw you guys on the dance floor. God, that spell book is so funny." She wheezed.
"And it was some general spell. I didn't specifically casted it on Taerae. I don't know why it went to Taerae but the spell is towards those who have the stronger feelings towards the other person but who knew Taerae harbored such feelings towards you that may have been stronger than what I assumed from you."
Matthew's ears started to ring from all the music, loud chatter, multiple footsteps, and the sound of Giselle's voice. He couldn't fathom the idea of Taerae having feelings for him. How and why would Taerae feel such things towards him?
"Taerae's not in love with me. He can't be." Matthew said, causing Giselle to snort. "Please, you couldn't be much more of a bigger idiot. He literally looks at you with hearts in his eyes, blushing and lingering stares and all. Plus, he always seem to glare at me every time we're together, if not, just keeps away from me when I visit you."
"Look, you gotta figure things out on your own now. I've already told you what needs to be done but I'm pretty sure you have to assess something with yourself first before impulsively try anything."
"And for the record, I'm not hung up on you still. I don't even think I've liked you that much. I actually realized I was a lesbian after we broke up. But anyways, good luck."
Matthew is now in a dilemma trying to figure out what to do next. He thinks of Taerae.
His annoying best friend that always teases him for the smallest things like how he's much taller than Matthew, or how he feeds Matthew food with cheese on purpose to rile him up knowing how much he hates it, or how he would bully Matthew for being so bad at video games.
Taerae who always finds his way to comfort Matthew when he's heartbroken from break ups. Taerae who tries to make him decent meals when he runs sick overworking himself with studies. Taerae who tolerates his Pokemon obsession despite not really relating to that interest. Taerae who makes judgmental comments about out of pocket things that Matthew brings up but will laugh at him. Taerae who Matthew gets to be openly weird with. Taerae who cried one time seeing Matthew's smile.
Taerae.
Fuck. Matthew realizes. It has always been Taerae beside him during his ups and downs. It was always Taerae that kept with his weird interests and personality. Taerae was the one that took care of him physically and emotionally. Taerae was the balance of everything in between Matthew's life. It has always been Taerae.
Maybe Taerae really was in love with him. And maybe... Matthew has always been in love with him too. All this time. Just too dumb to process.
Matthew broke from his dilemma as he swims between seas of people trying to find Taerae. His thoughts are mushed between the sounds of music and voices surrounding him but one thing's certain—Matthew loves Taerae.
He finds himself in front of Hao and Hanbin who are sprawled together in the bar, laughing crazily at each other and so out of it. "Hyungs, where's Taerae?"
Hanbin turned to him and raised his eyebrows with a smile, his eyes red. "Metthew, meh man! How are yo..."
"Hyung, there's no time. Where is Taerae?"
Hao poked his cheek. "He—mmm, left after he followed you to the kitchen."
"You mean—"
"He knows you followed Gazelle." Hao giggled, facing Hanbin to place his hands on his face. "He's so fucked, Binnie." He let out a wet laugh, Hanbin following. "He's so fucked, hyung." They both giggled in tears and got lost in their drunk-hazed world.
Matthew palms at his face and panics. Taerae must have misunderstood the situation. He rushes through the tight-packed people and went out of the mansion, running to their dorm. His heart and mind screams for Taerae, breath staggering from the adrenaline and the worry he feels towards his best friend.
After going through the lengths of running his small legs out, he faces the front door of their dorm. Matthew takes a few deep breaths before twisting the knob of the unlocked door. Taerae's here.
Taerae was seated on the couch with a grim look on his face, evidently spacing out. The sound of the door shutting seems to break him from his trance as his face showed a startled look before it distorted into a face of hurt and betrayal.
"Taerae." Matthew breathed out, heart hammering in his chest.
"Save it. I'm too tired right now, Matthew." Taerae says, standing up from the couch to make his way to his room. Matthew catched up to him and grabbed him by the wrist but Taerae shrugged it off. "Taerae, I can explain—"
"You don't have to explain, Matthew. I get it already. You were probably drunk. And you obviously still haven't moved on from Giselle." Taerae faces him with tears pooling in his eyes. "But I'm allowed to feel hurt, no? After those sweet words you said to me, the look you gave me, the kiss we shared. You made it so real. You had me so convinced that maybe, just maybe, you felt something for me, too. That whatever I was feeling towards you wasn't one-sided." Taerae's voice crack and the tears started pouring down his cheeks.
"Fuck. I hate how you make me so vulnerable. How you make me feel," Taerae wipes off his tears, "I'm the fool for hoping you'd reciprocate my feelings for you. I'm the fool for falling in love with you. I'm the fool for thinking I was enough." Taerae is full on crying now, the wall that he has kept up for so long slowly breaking. "But I will never be enough, Matthew. Because I'm not a girl."
Matthew's heart hurt at the scene in front of him. He wasn't used to seeing Taerae break down. He was the T between the two of them, often bantering and interests clashing yet here he was, showing Matthew such a painful expression. Matthew couldn't help but engulf Taerae into a tight hug, cradling his head and rubbing his back while whispering sweet apologies as Taerae's face rested on his shoulder, sobbing his eyes out.
"Taerae," Matthew calls out to him, causing Taerae to sniffle and look up at him with tear-stained eyes. "You're no fool. I am."
"Despite your commitment to being such a tease and annoyance in my life, you are my best friend who has been with me through the good and bad times. You're mean, sarcastic, and often times condescending," Taerae frowns, assuming more insults, "But, you're also someone who loves and cares through actions because you're really bad at words of affirmation." Matthew chuckles, caressing Taerae's cheek to wipe a tear streaming from his eye.
"You're such a joy to be with, your smile and laugh always contagious. Your passion in studying and music is one of the most admirable things about you. And most importantly, you're a beautiful person inside and out," Matthew takes a deep breath. "I should've known from the way your gaze lingered longer than usual towards me, how your mood would falter every time I bring up an ex or the word 'date'."
"I should have known when despite being with other people, you were always the words to my lips, the thoughts to my mind, and the beat of my heart." Taerae's breath hitched, head spinning from Matthew's confession.
"Taerae, I apologize for being a fool. For not realizing sooner. But I'm here to make things right and I hope I'm not too late."
"I love you, Kim Taerae. I think—no, I always have. I am so in love with you." Matthew confessed, his eyes shining with deep sincerity as his hand traveled from Taerae's cheek to his hand.
Taerae's eyes widened as his breath was caught in his throat. Matthew is in love with him. Matthew loves him.
"B-But, how... that's—" Taerae paused, "No, you're probably confused right now, Matt. You're looking at the girl version of me. You're just... caught in the moment." Taerae looks down, seeming visibly sad at what he is saying.
Matthew took Taerae's chin in his hand, lifting it so they face each other. "I know what I feel, Taerae. I don't care if I am looking at the girl version of you. I love you, Kim Taerae. My annoyingly handsome best friend that just can't seem to take a hint."
"Words may not be enough to convince you but I will still say that I am utterly and deeply in love with you, Taerae. More than all the existing words in this world can explain." And with that, Matthew sealed their lips in a kiss.
Taerae stilled, like his world completely stopped. And in that moment, it was a feeling of a heavy weight lifting off of his chest as he finds his arms wrapping around Matthew's nape and kissing him back with the same passion.
The kiss they shared on the dance floor was different than this. This is much better. Fiery but gentle and so full of the held back love they've been keeping to themselves. It felt like fireworks were celebrating inside of their stomachs, the sparks reaching to their chests. Matthew gripped at Taerae's waist and pulled him closer, almost like he was afraid of letting Taerae go. Taerae tightened his arms around Matthew as well as their kiss deepened.
They forced to break apart, out of breath and staccato exhales is heard between them. Matthew was the first between them to open his eyes, widening in surprise as he sees Taerae return back to his old self. "Taerae... you've turned back."
Taerae's eyes fluttered open, seeing Matthew's wide grin as he was dragged in front of a mirror. And there he was back to his usual self, minus the party clothes he was still wearing, causing his ears to redden.
Taerae becomes hesitant as he now becomes fully aware of the situation. He worries that Matthew may not find him as attractive as when he was still a girl. Matthew, seemingly hearing Taerae's thoughts, screams fuck it inside his head as he pounces on Taerae and locked their lips once again.
Matthew pins him against the door as his hands felt up every curve and crevice of Taerae's body, earning melodic moans from the younger. His lips pressed butterfly kisses on his neck and collarbones, sucking on his throat as Taerae's head fell back.
"Tell me to stop and I'll stop, Rae." Matthew whispers on his skin.
Taerae places a hand on Matthew's face, rubbing his thumb on his lower lip. "Don't stop."
Those words were all it took for Matthew to let his desires take over. Their lips crashed together, tongues entering each other's caverns; Matthew's hands groped at the curve of Taerae's ass, lifting him up and wrapping his legs around his waist as he kicked the door open to throw themselves at Taerae's bed.
Matthew's hands were swift with removing Taerae's top as he mouthed at his shoulder to his chest, circling his tongue at the bud of his nipple and sucking so diligently. Taerae whines as his nails scratched at Matthew's scalp, causing the older to groan. His lips moved south to his navel, peppering kisses so sweetly before he finds himself facing Taerae's crotch covered by his leather skirt.
He removed the clothing along with the tights, showing off Taerae's milky skin that sent Matthew's mouth to water at the sight. Matthew's breath hitched when he realized that Taerae wasn't wearing regular underwear but lacy panties, driving him into a sex rage. He bit at the lace of the panty and dragged it with his teeth. Taerae let out a gasp as the cold air welcomed his leaking cock.
Matthew breathed onto his cock, sending Taerae into a shuddering mess. He didn't give him any time before his mouth engulfed the whole of Taerae cock. The room echoed with the sounds of Taerae's whimper as Matthew devoured him.
"M-Matt... Ah! S'too much. Ungh~" Taerae moaned, tugging at Matthew's hair as he continued his ministrations towards Taerae. Matthew would release Taerae's member every now and then and nip at his inner thighs, leaving red marks all over it, before returning to sucking on his dick.
"M-please, Matthew. S-Stop, ngh, I'm gonna come." Taerae's complains only made Matthew act faster as his hand find the base of Taerae's length, pumping while he slurped on his tio erotically. "Ngh, no!" Taerae bucks his hips as his cock painted Matthew's mouth with his release.
Matthew reached to Taerae kissing his cheek and whispering praises, running a hand through his hair as he helped calm down the younger from his high.
"Matthew, fuck me." Taerae breathes out, looking at him with sultry eyes as he sat up to straddle at Matthew's clothed crotch. "Please." He begged, rubbing his exposed ass on the hardened bulge forming in Matthew's pants.
Matthew hurries towards the desk beside the bed, rummaging to find the lube which was fortunately there. He sat back on the bed as he coated his fingers with the lubricant, while he pats his other hand on his thigh. "Come here and ass up, jagiya."
Taerae whines at the nickname but obliges, sticking his ass up in the air for Matthew to take in. He feels a finger circle at his rim, causing Taerae to hold his breath. "Tell me if it's too much, hmm?" The first few thrusts of Matthew's finger was uncomfortable and strange but the moment another finger entered, it felt like a whole other galactic world he was teleporting to. A third finger had Taerae rolling his eyes back. Four fingers in made him spasm from overstimulation.
"Matt, I—'m ready. Please, just fuck me already." Taerae cried. Matthew started aligning his cock at Taerae's entrance before pushing in, sending both of them in an immense sense of pleasure.
The way Taerae's insides hugged at Matthew's cock is making him feel close to releasing. His pace started slow and steady, waiting for Taerae to adjust to size until Taerae started whining about going faster. Matthew's hips moved in a beastly manner, pistoning his cock to Taerae's prostate. Taerae could only shake and whimper as his legs tightened around Matthew while his nails raked his back, marking him with lines a tinge of red.
"Ah! Fuck, you're so good. Ngh, more! Don't stop!" Taerae moans, grinding back to meet Matthew's thrusts. Matthew grunts as he pounds onto Taerae, feeling slick running down their thighs as they tangle themselves into a sticky and sweaty mess.
"Taerae. I love you, Taerae. Shit. You wrap around me so well, jagiya. So, beautiful." Matthew exhales, nosing at Taerae's neck before biting into it as he hammered his hips against Taerae.
"I'm so close. Faster, Matt. I need you. Fuck. More. Don't stop." Taerae sobs, tears of pleasure falling from his eyes as Matthew continued pounding onto him. "Go on, jagi. Come for me."
The noisy creaks of the bed and the banging of the headboard against the wall surrounded them; Taerae mutters with all his might, "I love you, Matthew."
The two of them found their highs as they reached the peak of their pleasure, Taerae's vision consisting of stars and Matthew painting Taerae's walls white as he rode both of their highs out.
Both of them now face the ceiling of the room as their breaths shared a staggering pace, tired from all the sex. Matthew turns to face Taerae, sliding his arm around his waist. "I know I should've asked you this first before... doing all of this," Matthew awkwardly starts, "but will you do me the honor of allowing me to be your boyfriend?"
Taerae let out a shit-eating grin and brought him into a kiss. "Yes, you silly. Finally, you're my boyfriend. Mine."
"So, how did you think I turned back to normal? Heck, how did I even turned into a girl?"
"Well, actually, Giselle was the perpetrator."
"She what? What the fuck is wrong with her?"
"I... It's a long story."