Archive of Our Own ^beta

After four years of training and non-stop work and a deep, deep desperation for debut, Sion has finally been put in charge of an idol group.

NCT New Team.

(They’re working on the title.)

It’s… it’s a big adjustment. What was once him and Yushi has ballooned into him and Yushi and four other boys in one small dorm, the six of them knocking elbows over the breakfast table and piling into the back of the van together after long days at the company. It’s not the worst thing in the world. Disorienting, sure - especially when he’s a leader, all of a sudden, and he finds himself doing headcounts of all things. Confusing, even more so - how do you keep a group of unruly teenage boys focused on dancing from dawn until dusk? He has his work cut out for him, getting used to being the older brother instead of one of the maknaes, but he’ll get a hang of it eventually.

His members are great, really. Riku has more passion in him than anyone else Sion has ever met. Yushi is the same as ever, but that only means he’s just as stubborn to debut as he was when they were trainees. Daeyoung is a little bit terrifying, with how quickly he’s picking up all the Japanese and dancing lessons. Ryo is one of the sweetest kids Sion has met in the industry. Sakuya is… well. He’s certainly the maknae and Sion feels vaguely parental towards him already. 

Sion loves his members. Or, he’s growing to love them. It’s really only been a few weeks since they’ve all been grouped together. But he’s become rather fond of them all.

However.  

“Hyung!” Sion bolts upright in bed to his name being screamed at… 5 AM. He looks around the room. Riku is still asleep, drooling into his pillow. For a second, he wonders if he hallucinated it.

But-

“Sionie hyung!” His door slams open, none other than Ryo is standing in the doorway. The noise wakes up Riku, who bolts right up, too, with a hnng? sound. And now the two of them stare at their maknae in total confusion, still half asleep. 

And the thing is that Sion loves Ryo, really. The kid’s a sweetheart and sometimes his head’s more level than Sion’s is. He’s a cutie, and he’s sweet, and he’s so, so kind, but sometimes Sion feels the desire to put him up for adoption.

Case in point:

“...What is it, Ryo-ah,” Sion croaks out, voice weak from vocal lessons ramping up in intensity. “Your hyung and I need our beauty sleep.”

Riku only sleepily blinks over at him before burying his face back into his pillow. Grunting out a little “urgh.”

“Saku used up the last of the toothpaste,” Ryo huffs, stalking into the room. He flops onto Riku’s bed - on top of said bed’s inhabitant - and pouts. “And manager hyung said he can’t get any.”

Sion stares - at Ryo, who tries to bury under Riku’s covers, and Riku, who - of course - lets him do whatever he wants. Accepting him into his arms easily, burying his face in Ryo’s hair and his eyes falling back closed.

(For a brief, fleeting second, Sion finds himself to be deeply jealous of their maknae. Especially as Riku’s scent bleeds out, full of happy pheromones, satisfied at his pup being wrapped up in his arms. Sion can’t even put a hand on Riku’s shoulder without the younger flinching away. Riku can barely stand to look at him. 

But then Ryo is sending him a smug look and he blinks out of his stupor, annoyed.)

“What do you want me to do about that?” He asks instead, exasperated. “If manager hyung can’t, then-”

“I just thought you should know,” Ryo says, voice a little cheeky. And god, it’s too early to be awake like this, so Sion just groans and plops back down into bed. 

“Ryo-chan,” Riku scolds. He has this gentle tone that the kids are drawn to. Not to mention that he’s an omega, which means all it takes is his nurturing scent to keep them in line, especially since the rest of the group is made up of unpresented pups. “It’s too early for this. Your hyung had a late night last night.”

Yeah. Now Sion is jealous of Riku, too. 

Sure, the kids listen to him. He’s an alpha - they’re supposed to. He’s their leader - they’re supposed to. He’s their hyung - they’re supposed to. But the nurturing just doesn’t come so easily to him. He finds it easier to tease the pups and joke with them rather than try to parent. But Riku can soothe the maknaes with just his wrist swiped over their nape. And he doesn’t know what to do with that, exactly.

Both him and Riku were early presenters, based off of what little information he was able to wrangle out of the omega about his presentation. They’re both settled into their sub-genders. Which is good - the last thing they need is a new omega, highly reactive to Sion’s alpha pheromones; or an unruly alpha, highly reactive to Riku’s scent. But it makes him nervous, sometimes. Makes him wonder if he should be more of a pack leader, especially when Riku seems to be so easily able to fill in the role as a pack omega.

They’re not even a pack yet. But the inevitability is obvious. 

And yet.

“How do you reckon we all brush our teeth, then,” Ryo asks, and quite frankly, Sion doesn’t know if he has the capacity to give him an answer. Being a leader means being a problem solver, and Sion is still stuck on the learning curve. Solving problems. Giving them answers. It’s all so new to him.

“Why are you already awake, then,” Sion mutters into his pillow. 

Ryo says nothing. He curls into Riku. And Sion understands, closing his eyes again, the bitterness seeping out of his bones. 

It’s homesickness, then. Anxiety-induced insomnia. Ryo is still so young. They’re all young. They all live far away from their homes. The three new Japanese members are still learning the language. There are days when Sion speaks more Japanese than Korean, playing mediator between Daeyoung and their sunbaes and the rest of the group.

So:

“Hyung will buy you toothpaste,” Sion says. “But later.”

“Okay,” Ryo mumbles. “Thank you, hyung.”

He’s still learning this whole leader thing, but he’s trying. He’s really, really trying. 

After all, the dynamics of the group are still being worked out. Yushi is still shy around the new members, but he’s slowly warming up to them. He’s gotten close to Riku quite quickly, but he can be finicky around the younger pups. Especially Daeyoung. Sion doesn’t force him to come out of his shell - especially since he knows Yushi, at this point, as well as he knows himself - but it’s still stressful sometimes. Trying to get everyone to bond before their inevitable debut. 

(At least he knows that Yushi is unlikely to turn out to be anything other than a beta, as it’s nearing his nineteenth and his scent still remains as neutral as ever. So Sion will count his blessings.)

There’s only so much he can stress about before the day has even started, so he lays there listlessly until his clock hits 6 AM, the two others snoring in Riku’s bed. He does, in fact, end up going out and buying Ryo toothpaste. He trudges out to 7/11 with a mask on, dragging his feet. The cashier gives him a weird look but doesn’t ask any questions. Good. 

By the time he gets back to the dorm, everyone is up and awake. Yushi and Riku are already ready, hovered together by the Keurig. The three maknaes are in the bathroom. Sion tosses a bottle of toothpaste in there and lets them fend for themselves. 

“Coffee,” Yushi mutters to him once Sion joins them in the kitchen. He passes a cup over. “Here.”

“Thanks, Yu-chan,” Sion sighs, sagging into a chair and sighing with relief as he takes a sip. He knows he looks like shit - bags under his eyes, still wearing his PJs. He tips his head back and closes his eyes. “It’s too early for this.”

“It is,” Yushi agrees sagely. He sips his own cup and switches into Japanese. “Riku, here.”

Sion blinks his eyes open as Yushi hands Riku a cup of coffee, who looks down at the ground once he notices Sion’s eyes trained on him. Sometimes Sion is at a loss for what to do - will Riku be this shy around him forever? They’re slated to debut in a year. But Sion mostly just tries to not be too pushy. Keeps his hands to himself, doesn’t pry whenever Riku sends him looks in the practice room mirror when he thinks Sion isn’t paying attention. Tries not to get too intense about it during the rare times Riku talks to him first. When they first met to work together for last year’s trainee showcase, Riku had stared at him for so long. Too shy to say much other than a greeting with his head bowed. He was so normal towards the other trainees, but it was different with Sion.

At first, he wondered if it was because he was an alpha. The trainees are sorted by sub-gender, the omegas having their own dorm. But the thing is that Riku never acted nervous around any alpha sunbae. Never acted very nervous around anyone except for him.

(Ugh. Sometimes it drives him insane, trying to figure it out.)

It doesn’t help that the two of them - the only presented members of the group - have been forced to share a room. Despite their opposite sub-genders. It’s to build up immunity to each other or something, he’s not sure. It’s stupid. But they’ve already been started on suppressors that change their cycles from every month to something much less frequent, and are on enough birth control to last them for decades, and so, he supposes, it’s fine. It makes his own bedroom awkward, but it’s fine. Riku can’t even look him in the eyes, but it’s fine. 

(He still has his doubts.)

Sion sips on his coffee as Yushi and Riku talk idly in a mix of Korean and Japanese and he wonders, not for the first time, what it’d take to be able to talk to Riku like that. Sion used to wonder what it’d be like to be someone’s only hyung, like he is to Riku, but the omega doesn’t come to him with anything. He’ll ask Sion how he’s doing, or if there’s any part of the choreography he needs to improve on, but he never really needs anything.

And Sion, recently, doesn’t know what much use he is as a leader if he’s not there to provide. 

Their manager shows up a bit before they have to leave, and so Sion diligently herds the pack out to the van. None of them are rowdy so early in the morning, but there’s a little bickering from the maknaes over who gets to sit in the back. Sion lets them duel it out in rock-paper-scissors, listening as their manager rattles off the schedule for today. Dance practice, singing lessons, dance again, and then a meeting with Riku and Sion and management, and-

Wait, what?

“What’s the meeting for?” Sion asks him, a bit confused. “It’s not anything bad, is it?”

“They told me it was health stuff,” manager hyung says. “Something with cycles, I dunno.”

Sion turns around in the front seat to exchange glances with Riku in the second row, who - for once - is already looking back at him. Riku’s eyes say he’s worried.

So Sion tries to pump out soothing pheromones, ears red when Riku looks away, and turns back around. Tries not to… yearn. Or whatever.

At least it’s easy to get sucked into the momentum of training once their day starts. The race to debut is on, and all six of them are laser-focused on their goal of being featured at SMTOWN. There’s a lot to be done between then and now, like learning choreography and whatever their pre-debut song is and preparing for their mini-tour and learning languages and sitting through the agonizing idol-image lessons-

They’re told that LaStart will begin airing in a few months. Just a few more months until all of their faces are made public as the new NCT group.

The pressure is on. Really, it is. 

They’re being led through a freestyle dancing lesson when someone from management comes in to grab him and Riku. They’re both drenched head-to-toe in sweat and look worse for wear, but she reassures them that it’s nothing too important. Just health stuff, you know, the usual.

But that, it turns out, is a total fucking lie.

“You two,” one of the noonas says the second they’re sat down in her office, “will be sharing cycles from now on.”

Sion, whose mind is still back in the practice room, needs a few moments to take that in. Which makes him pause.

What was that.

Sion blinks at her. Tries to get out of his head, away from dancing. Not sure if he heard right. The look on Riku’s face says that he’s not quite sure, either. 

“...Come again?” Sion asks. “We’re…?”

“Sion-ssi, Riku-ssi,” she says very, very slowly. “I know that you are still training for debut, but with your cycles coming up-” she passes over a booklet- “we have decided that the best course of action was for you two to start sharing heats and ruts.”

Sion stares down at the paper in his hand. SHARING CYCLES WITH BANDMATES, it says. THE DO’S AND DON’TS. There’s a little SM logo on the top left that lets Sion know that this is not, in fact, some practical joke, but very, very frighteningly real.

Sion looks over at Riku, who has gone pale.

Oh, shit. 

“This-” he says slowly. “This can’t-”

“It’s standard procedure for bandmates,” she says, cutting him off. “This is what we do for everyone. It’s to minimize scandal, yes? Minimize cycle sharing outside the pack, yes?” She smiles. “You two are the only presented members in your group. This is protocol.”

There are a plethora of thoughts which invade Sion’s mind, none of them good. Thinking about their combined scents in their bedroom, the bedroom which the two of them have slowly worked together to make their own. How nervous, nervous Riku would never want to look Sion in the eyes again. Him in rut, bared over Riku. Riku in heat, bared over him. Forcing someone as shy as Riku to learn the ins and outs of his body - forcing him to take his fucking knot, of all things. It’d be a lie if Sion said he wasn’t, like, attracted to the omega - any sane person would be, god - but not… not like this.

Nothing like this.

“Riku,” he says in Japanese, turning to his bandmate. “Are you-”

“Does she mean it when she says we have to?” Riku mutters. He’s thumbing through the pamphlet. “We don’t have a choice, hyung?”

The booklet is… ridiculously thorough. Proper procedure for sharing ruts and heats. The kind of affection that is allowed, the kind that isn’t. Kissing is fine. Marking is not. Scenting is okay. No mating under any fucking circumstance. 

Riku looks… dejected. He looks miserable. Sion feels horrible, because he so-desperately wants to tell the omega that they don’t have to do anything they don’t want to. Body autonomy and the freedom of choice and all that. But the reality is that they can’t say no - they and their bodies belong to SM now. It’s part of debuting. It’s part of their job.

They don’t get a choice.

“We can figure something else out,” Sion tells him. “I can- I can ask around, and-”

It’s hopeless. They know what reality awaits them. Riku avoids his eyes, grim frown on his face.

“It’s fine, hyung,” he says, slumping back into his chair, eyes stuck on the page that shows a diagram of an omega and alpha in optimal position for knotting. “We don’t have a choice.”

Sion cannot picture himself doing this with Riku, who has little choice in the matter. Who has a role to play as pack omega, who has little bargaining power as an undebuted foreigner, who has to do what is told of him. So therein is the moment in which Sion’s life, for better or worse, is changed forever. 

He has a new rut partner and his name is Maeda Riku. 

-

Sion likes to think that he’s coping well, but that would be a lie.

When they’re sent back to practice, him and Riku both look properly spooked. The kids, of course, ask what’s wrong. Sion says he’ll tell them later. It’s nothing bad, guys, I promise. Riku’s expression has hardened into grim acceptance, and so Sion puts his mind single-handedly into practice and tries not to dwell on the… erm. Inevitabilities.

He fails.

“Riku and I have to share cycles,” Sion tells Yushi as they sit outside of the convenience store. The rest of the members are hunting down dinner inside 7/11. “That’s what the meeting was for.”

He has to tell someone, and it certainly won’t be the kids. They’ll find out eventually, but Sion would much rather prefer to put it off until they have to. Sakuya and Ryo are barely teenagers, the last thing he needs to do is traumatize them by telling them that he and their hyung are under a company-mandate to have sex every month. 

“What? You have to?” Yushi asks, looking properly horrified. “You don’t get a choice? Isn’t that kind of…”

He trails off. Sion knows what he means. He sighs and stares down at the ground. 

“Apparently it’s procedure,” he mutters. “Like it wouldn’t just give Riku another reason to avoid me.”

That’s what he hates the most about this whole thing - Riku already can’t look him in the eyes, how the fuck will he behave once they start… you know. The whole heat and rut thing. There’s no way that sex, of all things, would soothe the distance between them. As it is, the only thing Riku ever says to him is that he has a handsome face. Which doesn’t do much for him in the emotional-vulnerability-between-bandmates-compartment. Not to mention that they are the two eldest members and fucking roommates.  

Their current place doesn’t even have a heat room - it’s hardly necessary when he and Riku are the only ones to have cycles. But the old trainee dorms had them, and Sion’s never spent a rut in a room that wasn’t scent proof. He hasn’t even spent a rut with another person.

“Oh, hyung,” Yushi sighs. “You’re kinda fucked, aren’t you.”

And, well. That's the truth. Sion knew being an idol would come with sacrifices, but he didn’t think that bodily autonomy was one of them. 

“Trust me, Yushi,” he pouts. “If you turn out to be a beta, consider yourself lucky.”

Thankfully, to Sion’s luck, it seems like the kids have at least forgotten about their hyungs’ drama once there’s some food in them. And Riku seems like he’s in a bit of a better mood once he has the pups hanging over him, clamouring in Japanese. Sion gives him space, sitting as far away as he can manage, zoning out so he can go over the mental checklist that’s always in his head. Feed the kids, get them settled down for the day, make sure everyone goes to sleep at a reasonable time. Daeyoung has been spending extra hours in the studio to catch up on dance. Sometimes Yushi joins him. But today, they’re all together.

He tries to not think about you-know-what. He’s never allowed himself to even think about Riku in a way that isn’t strictly platonic and perfectly respectful. But now that they’re slated to literally have sex together, it’s hard to not think about Riku’s scent in heat. And his- you know. His body. Sion feels too shameful to envision anything - and the guilt would probably eat him alive if he did - but he lets himself linger on how orange blossom would bloom in heat for one (1) single second. Just briefly wondering how sweet it would go.

But then he thinks about Riku, miserable at the idea of spending his heat with Sion, and the thoughts quickly fade away on their own. 

Sion lingers around the group for as long as he can manage to, and so does Riku. Most nights the two of them are in bed early, but clearly neither of them really yearn to be alone with each other right now. Sion even sits and watches an episode of One Piece with them in Japanese - his Japanese is good, but it’s not that good - and is promptly confused the entire time. But the less he’s alone with his bizarre, traitorous thoughts, the better. Really.

He puts himself to bed once his eyelids start getting heavy. He tells all of them - Riku included - not to stay up too late. But to his surprise, Riku follows him to the bedroom. Saying goodnight to the kids and trailing after Sion. 

The silence between them is deafening once the door’s shut behind them. 

Riku’s scent is mellow, meek and tired, and Sion knows he doesn’t fare much better. So he sighs and sits at the edge of his bed.

His body is tired from training all day, but his mind races at a million miles an hour. What can he do about this? How can he fix this? How can he make this less miserable for Riku?

So:

“Riku-ah,” he calls out to his roommate, who is rummaging through the wardrobe and very pointedly Not Looking At Him. “Riku-ah, I’m sorry. About everything.”

He doesn’t know what else to say. He wants to soothe the angst between them. It’s in his nature as leader to make things as easy as they can be on his dear members, but with this chasm of space between them, it feels impossible. Especially since Riku so often shies away from him to begin with. Sion wishes he could touch him on the shoulder, just once, without it being weird. Wants to be able to reassure him in the only way he knows how. 

But:

“There’s nothing for you to apologize for, hyung,” is all Riku says. “This is just what happens when you’re an alpha and I’m an omega.”

That makes Sion want to snap his jaw and snarl. How could it be as simple as that? Since when did biological compatibility serve as pre-destination for anything? But it’s not as simple for Riku as it is for Sion, and he knows it. What kind of omega talks back to the higher ups, huh? What kind of omega - one who’s training to be an idol, no less - does anything besides what they’re supposed to?

It’s still not fair, though. It’s not. Because, sure, Sion can admit that maybe there is a part of him, deep down, that has no real complaints about this arrangement. After all, Riku is beautiful. He’s beautiful and he smells wonderful and he’s an amazing omega. But it’s not fair, because Riku doesn’t- he doesn’t want it-

“I’m still sorry,” he says. He doesn’t know what else to say. Doesn’t know what else to do.

Riku’s expression is hardened when he turns around and stalks back to his bed. “It’s fine.”

Things aren’t… they’re not okay. But somehow, Sion feels as if he’s just made them worse.

-

He really should’ve predicted that things were only going to go downhill from there.

Stress already runs their group ragged as it is. And despite his best attempts, he’s not sure if he’s quite able to come across as normal about this whole thing. He’s really trying to, wishing his ears would stop going red whenever Riku’s eyes briefly meet his, but it ends up being a lost cause.

Because life, technically, continues on as normal. But Riku, quite notably, is much different.

It starts like this:

Riku’s scent, which normally leans cloyingly sweet, has begun to sour. Over the next week, much of the pack is caught holding their noses whenever Riku passes by them. Even Ryo, who has now made a point of worming his way into their bedroom in the early morning, has been making faces. And even the pups draping themselves over the omega does little to make him feel better.

He smells upset all the time, and Sion inner alpha howls at him to fix it, fix it, fix the distressed omega, but it’s not so simple when there’s nothing he can do to fix anything. This is his fault, if you really think about it, for being an alpha when Riku was an omega. He should’ve been a beta, or something. Then this would’ve never happened.

Riku’s anxiety makes everyone antsy. Omega pheromones tend to affect everyone around them. Which means the entire pack is on edge, which makes their practices stilted, which gets them yelled at by their teachers, which only makes Sion’s job harder, which only-

Well. You get the idea.  

“Fix him, hyung,” Sakuya complains over dinner. Riku has turned in early for the night, and thus they all have decided to talk behind his back. “It smells like rotting flowers, I can’t take it anymore.”

“How do you want me to fix him,” Sion scowls. “Every time I try, I just make it worse.”

The maknae looks like he wants to argue back, but there’s a mutter of agreement around the table. Because despite Sion’s best efforts, he’s only been making things worse.

He’s tried giving Riku lots of room to breathe. Has tried making it easier on him - serving him first at meals, helping him with laundry, giving him first choice of lunch. But none of it works. Somehow it only makes his scent worse, more potent. Makes him mad and oddly hormonal and very, very testy. 

Riku is probably one of the most easy-going people Sion has ever met, especially when the trainees at SM tend to be so high-strung. He’s never been anything but cordial, has only ever been kind and sweet - albeit shy - always works hard to make the pack happy. But his patience with Sion, as it seems, has shrunk down to nothing. Making him snappy and irritable and bitter.

(In fact, on the one morning he lets Riku shower first, Riku’s scent goes so soured and upset that Ryo gags. 

“What’s wrong with you!” He shrieks. “It smells like someone died!”

“Go ask your hyung,” Riku sulks. “He’s the one who thinks I can’t do anything for myself because I’m an omega.”

That makes everyone turn on Sion, who is then forced to shower first and stay at least several meters away from Riku for the rest of the day, keeping his head bowed and his inner alpha whining in his chest.)

So, yeah. Suffice it is to say that Sion’s attempts to relieve Riku of his stress has only done the complete opposite. When the pack called him a dumb alpha, they weren’t too far off.

“Just talk to him, hyung,” Yushi presses. Sion is not pleased by how the other three nod along with him like Yushi’s speaking the truth. He hates it when they all turn against him. “It’s for the good of the pack.”

We’re not even a pack yet, Sion does not say. If we were a pack, none of you would disrespect me like this.

But unfortunately enough, he’s right. So Sion pouts all the way to bed.

Because the thing is that talking to Riku, in fact, is not nearly as easy as it seems. He’s still kind and doting to the younger members, but he’s managed to avoid Sion like the plague. For someone who is so insistent that everything is fine, Riku sure doesn’t act like it. Not at all. And Riku has never been like this before, not to him, so insistent on acting like they don’t know each other and also aren’t slated to have sex together in the next few weeks, even though they quite literally are.

But the other thing, he can admit, is that this whole situation is hard to deal with because there’s only so much Sion can say; only so much he do to soothe the omega. They’re stuck at a dead end with no choice but to listen to what their superiors demand of them. Sion can’t change the fact that he and Riku have to spend their hats and ruts together - they’re left with no choice.

So Sion wonders if he even has the right to try and soothe Riku and ask for him to behave normally again. He doesn’t, he knows - no one does - not when the omega is just expected to lean over and take it, to just so willingly present for an alpha he didn’t even ask for. But Sion still wishes that he could make it better anyway. Just a little bit.

So Sion tries. He does.

He backs off over the next few days. Gives Riku his space. Doesn’t say much to him other than “good morning,” or “good night,” mostly in hopes that his scent will ease up. It doesn’t, really, but Riku is less snappy. Even willingly talks to Sion a few times during practice. Shares kimbap with him, once. Is kind enough to turn off the light first a few times. Little mercies. 

So his plan works, kind of, and it’s not hard to corner Riku when they share a room, but Sion tries to not be so blatant about it. Just lays in his bed, a few nights later, and says, “Riku.”

There’s the rustling of sheets from the other bed. And Riku, after a long moment: “Sion hyung.”

It’s… it’s nothing bad. Not yet. This is how they normally talk, after all. It’s easier for Riku to talk to him like this, when they don’t have to look at each other face-to-face. It was by laying like this in the dark together that Sion learned that Riku was an early presenter as well. But Sion can still smell the tension in the air, at times so heavy that he can taste it. Rotting orange; wilted flowers. 

Sion doesn’t know if he could say anything that could make this better. Can’t think of anything that would.

So.

“Please tell me,” Sion says. “Tell me how I can make this easier on you.”

He probably sounds desperate when he says it, because he is. Riku’s scent, sour in the air, goes mellow. There’s more sheets rustling. He always tosses and turns when something’s on his mind. Sion lays there, in the dark, and tries not to push.

Tell me, he wants to say. Give me anything. Let me help you. I want to help you. 

Sion wishes he could see his face. Wonders if he has that little furrow between his eyebrows or not. 

But:

“...I don’t know, hyung,” is what Riku says eventually, after a long, long moment of silence between them. He doesn’t sound bitter or upset, right now, but he’s not exactly overjoyed. “Just make it normal, I guess. Like it’s not a big deal.”

Sion is only staring up at his ceiling, but he blinks. “Normal?” His voice comes like an echo.

There’s nothing normal about this.

They are being forced to… to have sex. Or, at least, expected to. That’s not something that most people have to live through, not when both parties are on the fence. After all, this isn’t the fucking 50’s anymore - there’s no breeding programs or arranged matings or anything. Just SM’s fucked up idea of keeping their idols contained and chained to one another. Just procedure. What had she called it? Protocol?

It’s not normal to spend your heats and ruts according to protocol. But this is their life. This is the corner they’re backed up into. 

“Well, I’ve never been with an alpha before,” Riku says. Simple, like a fact. Which it is. But he’s not shy, right now. Nonplussed and unbothered. “I’m just kind of nervous, you know, if I think too hard about it. So just…”

Riku isn’t too hard to read. He’s not very secretive, although sometimes he has a smile on his face that makes it feel like he knows something you don’t. But he’s honest right now, perfectly sincere. He wants normalcy. Sion can give it to him. Or he can try to, at least.

“Be normal,” Sion says, trying to convince himself of the idea. “Okay.”

He can do normal - he can. He lives a somewhat ridiculous life by any well-adjusted person’s standards. So normalcy is good. It keeps them sane. If he thinks too deeply about it, he’d probably just drive himself crazy.

He’s agreeing to something that he’s not quite sure of, but he wants to- he wants to make this better. For Riku. Doesn’t want him to hate it, or hate Sion. 

“Just don’t do anything I don’t want,” Riku says. “You know. Consent.”

That’s a given, but of course Sion can’t say that. No alpha has the right to, not when they are often so vicious and unforgiving. Sion is not the type who loses control of himself around an omega in heat. But Riku has never- he wouldn’t know that. They’ve only been roommates for about a month. 

So:

“Okay,” Sion says. “I won’t.”

And:

For some reason, that makes Riku laugh. “I already know you won’t.”

Sion doesn’t know what to say to that. Doesn’t know what to do about the implicit trust Riku has in him. Aren’t omegas taught to be afraid of alphas? Riku has never been afraid of him. Nervous and shy, sure. But never afraid. Sion knows that much. Riku’s scent doesn’t lie. He can smell upset, but he never smells afraid. 

“It’s just sex, hyung,” is what Riku says. “All we’re gonna do is have sex.”

He’s right. He’s right and it’s the truth and Sion does not know why, exactly, his stupid inner alpha whines in his chest as Riku says that.

They are going to have sex and it will be a clinical thing, and Riku does not want him, and it is nothing more than an agreement between bandmates to listen to what their company tells them to do. 

So Sion says, “okay.” And “thank you for talking to me, Riku-ah,” and “don’t worry, hyung will try his best,” and “good night.”

Riku parrots back his words and his scent goes sweet again and Sion desperately tries to go back to sleep. His heart thumping, thumping, thumping in his chest. It’s just sex, hyung. All we’re gonna do is have sex. 

But it may not just be sex, his traitorous brain thinks. Not for me.

Sion lays there and stares up at his ceiling. He’s fucked.

-

Inexplicably, Riku’s pre-heat hits the next day.

Sion tries not to dwell on the timing of it all, although he is, of course, the first to notice. It’s in the middle of practice when Riku’s scent blooms sweet, cloying and so heavy he can nearly taste it. Not quite blossomed into the saccharine scent of heat, but something overly floral, trying to attract alphas.

It works, Sion does not think. I am attracted. 

Concentrating after that is a lost cause. The pups don’t notice right away because they aren’t as sensitive to scents. But Riku’s eyes meet Sion’s in the mirror, and his face turns red, and Sion messes up his choreography for the rest of the day. 

Fuck. He’s so fucked. 

It’s just a biological response, he reasons, although Sion can’t think of any other time he’s been affected by someone’s pre-heat before. It’s because my alpha knows we’re spending his heat together, Sion desperately tries to convince himself. He never thought himself to be possessive, but he yearns to growl when their alpha choreographer walks over to Riku and fixes his movements for their new piece with a hand on his shoulder.

The other alpha is completely unbothered by the perfectly ripe smell of omega in the air. But Sion, decidedly, is not. 

He ends up getting scolded - why are you acting like you’ve never been around an omega before, god! - and his ears are warm, warm, warm as the pack stares at him in curiosity. This is the closest they’ve ever seen Sion to giving into his instincts. Even Yushi looks puzzled.

(“What’s wrong with you?” Yushi asks with knitted eyebrows during their water break.

Sion stares down at the ground. Can feel the heat of Riku’s eyes on him from across the room.

“It’s nothing,” he says. “It’s nothing at all.”)

So it doesn’t help that there’s some unbearable tension between Sion’s alpha and Riku’s omega, but what makes it worse - as he finds out - is that he is woefully unprepared to deal with an omega in heat.

Even over the next few days, Riku is still shy. Well, kind of. He doesn’t say much to Sion himself, but he sticks much closer to Sion than he normally does. Sion’s alpha is a vicious, vicious thing that yearns for more and more and more, even as Riku willingly (!!!) wears one of his hoodies to practice. The omega lets Sion scent him before they leave the house in the mornings. Lets Sion drag his wrist against his scent gland when they’re walking around the company and other alphas pass by them in the hallways. It’s not a claiming thing, Sion tells him. It says he should do it in the pamphlet. 

Which, in reality, is a stupid argument. Because it only makes Riku more insistent that they’re only doing all of this because of his instincts. So insistent that he’s only sticking close because his omega wants to. Only lets Sion scent him because that’s what he needs in pre-heat, and Sion’s the only alpha he’s close to, anyway, and soon they’ll be getting much closer…

It makes him feel like an idiot, as he scours through the goddamn pamphlet, but he does. Sion studies the whole thing top to bottom and uses it as a bible for preparing for everything. He dwells on the pre-heat stuff, mostly, like the scenting. But he also maybe, just maybe, takes a gander in the heat portion of it. The positions he should try, all the preparation he has to do. For his… you know. His knot.

Riku’s gonna take his knot. Holy shit.

As it edges closer to Riku’s actual heat, Sion’s alpha starts getting unruly. Snappy, sensitive, all the works. Sion has never been like this even in his pre-rut, so he’s at a bit of a loss for what to do. The internet says it’s normal, but he’s not so sure. So he just lets himself take whatever Riku is willing to give him. 

Sion tries to… not dote, exactly, because Riku wants things to be normal and the last thing he needs to do is act like Riku’s alpha when he very pointedly isn’t. But Riku allows him little things that Sion’s inner alpha demands of him, like keeping him fed and well-rested and okay, maybe just a little bit doted on. Riku lets Sion towel off his sweat once, after practice, and Sion’s alpha gets so happy that he could probably die.  

But he’s not Riku’s alpha! Obviously!

Riku starts nesting a few days in, and Sion is so, so normal about it. Their beds are pushed together and bed sheets are hoarded and Riku collects nesting materials from the entire pack. The group has seemingly caught onto Sion and Riku’s whole arrangement, and Sion just considers himself lucky that no one’s asked him any questions yet. When Riku’s heat hits, the kids will be sent to different dorms to stay at so their hyungs can… knot in peace. Or whatever.

(That’s how Yushi describes it. Sion almost hit him for it.)

A needy Riku is certainly a new experience. He orders Sion to scent the nest - their nest, holy shit - from top to bottom. Smothers the kids in orange blossom. Will lean into Sion’s side so heavily that he may as well be on his lap. He won’t let Sion or any of the pups leave his sight. He never figured Riku to be the possessive type, but he supposes you learn new things everyday. 

It only gets worse as the inevitable heat approaches. It’ll be here any day now.

They go over boundaries. Knotting will happen, yes, but Riku doesn’t want much besides that. Insists that everything is clinical, even as he has Sion scent him until he smells of espresso. No hard limits as long as it’s just sex. As long as hyung makes it feel good. Sion doesn’t know if that’s him or his heat talking. Holy shit.

But it’s just sex, Riku says to him, nose in Sion’s scent gland. It’s only knotting, hyung, you’re just gonna knot me.

Yeah. Sion is going to die.  

The company has them monitored. Making sure they actually go through with it. The kids are sent out to the spare dorms and a beta ahjumma comes in, stocking them with food and supplies to make sure they don’t, like, malnourish themselves in the throes of it. Which is so, so embarrassing, but Sion is already embarrassed over how territorial he’s been acting, so all in all, it’s not that big of a deal.

It’s a week into pre-heat when Sion wakes up in the nest to Riku panting into his neck. His skin is hot and he smells miserable, but his scent is so sweet that Sion wants to take a bite out of him. His hackles raise. Feels himself salivating. 

“Riku,” he shakes him awake. “Riku-ah, wake up. Your heat’s starting.”

He likes to think that he’s level-headed about it, really. But then Riku’s eyes sleepily blink open and the desire in his scent increases tenfold, and Riku croaks out in a low, tired voice: “morning, hyung.”

This is it, Sion realizes. This is how he dies.

-

It takes a good amount of time for the omega to wake up entirely, head hazy and a little disoriented. Riku’s not in heat yet, entirely. Not quite. But before Sion can do anything more than ask him if he’s alright, Riku immediately goes to shuck off his clothes and crawl back into the nest, naked. Naked. Fuck.

He tries not to look at the lean curve of Riku’s hips, nor at how soft his skin is. Tries to not stare at… you know. The space between his legs. But the scent of his slick is in the air and Sion really, really has to stop himself from asking Riku if he can bite him.

No biting or marks, says the pamphlet. And god fucking dammit, Sion will listen to that stupid pamphlet. He has to. For his sanity if nothing else.  

Riku’s face is bright red and Sion is sure that he’s not doing much better himself. He’s hardening up in his sweats and his mouth is so close to salivating, feeling a little light-headed and dizzy from the close proximity to an omega in heat. Riku lays down next to him, fidgeting with his hands.

“You can take off your clothes, too, you know,” Riku mutters. “If you want to.”

They already decided that Riku would take the lead on everything for as long as he’s cognizant enough to be able to. Everything is up to him. So Sion licks his lips and looks over at his roommate.

“Are you sure?” He asks.

He watches Riku’s pupils dilate, gaze darting down to the bulge in Sion’s pants and back up to his face. Sion blushes even harder.

“I’m sure,” Riku says.

So Sion takes off his clothes. 

It’s not… not as awkward as he thought it’d be, once they’re both naked together. Riku’s scent is sweetening in the air and Sion feels more high on the pheromones than anything else. Despite how unusually close and out of character they’ve been behaving towards one another in Riku’s pre-heat, this somehow makes him feel more level-headed. The whole… the whole sex thing is about to happen. It’s actually going to happen and it keeps Sion back down on earth because… because yeah. They’re going to have sex.

He can hardly believe it, but now they’re both naked in the nest Riku built with his own hands. Not even touching each other, not yet, but Sion wants to. Wants to so, so badly. The effect of the heat sends tingles up his spine, gets his alpha panting for more in his chest. Sion tells himself to wait. Tells himself to not ask for anything more than what Riku gives him.

But then Riku whimpers and the smell of slick grows stronger. So heavy that Sion can nearly taste it.

“Hyung,” he says. “I think it’s-”

He closes his eyes shut and reaches out a hand to grip onto Sion’s forearm. His scent blossoms even more, so thick and heavy in the air, the only thing Sion can smell.

“It’s different with you here,” Riku says, voice strained. “It’s- ah. It’s stronger…”

Sion’s never heard him sound like that. Desperate. Riku never begs for anything. But there’s a traitorous part of Sion that wants to hear more; wants to hear him beg. Wants to know what it sounds like. 

So Sion swallows. “What do you want me to do,” he says slowly. Brain going slow as molasses, trying to not preen at Riku’s hold on him. “Do you want me to help you, Riku?”

Riku’s face is bright red. His grip tightens on Sion and nods.

“Please, hyung.”

God. That word in that tone. Sion really is going to die.

Sion keeps his movements slow and careful as he sits up and gets Riku into a comfortable position, laying back against the sheets. Riku splays himself out, naturally, legs spread. The scent of slick grows stronger and Sion is helpless, eyes falling to his sex. Dripping, thighs slick. Fuck.

Sion, very slowly, brings his hands down to Riku’s thighs. Riku’s back arches into it but he bites down on his lip, not making a sound.

“Tell me, Riku-ah,” Sion says gently. “Tell me what you want hyung to do.”

He’s only abiding by their agreement, really, but Riku’s expression goes pained as he asks. He knows Riku has always been more comfortable following Sion’s lead - always has been, even when they first met and Sion showed him their choreography and Riku only watched him with a razor-sharp gaze - but Sion wants to know what he wants. Wants to know how to best make him feel good. Riku always listens to him so well, always asks for reassurances, but Sion wants to know what he can do, this time. How he can be the best Riku could ever have.

But Riku just frowns and wordlessly widens his thighs. Pouting, almost. Not saying a thing.

Sion wonders if it’s the alpha part of him that wants words and reassurances. The part of him that wants to be obedient to the fertile omega in his bed. He’s not quite sure. They have a pre-established agreement either way. 

“Need words from you,” Sion says softly. “C’mon, tell me.”

He didn’t think it’d be such a struggle to get the omega to talk. Because even though Riku is shy, he never refuses Sion outright. But Riku’s scent burns in the air as he says, “just- just do it.” As he says, “you can just do what you want, hyung.”

Sion almost clicks his tongue, but ends up just humming instead. He slowly sinks his fingers into the meat of Riku’s thighs. Grips harder, keeps him spread. Lets out a little disappointed sigh.

“We’re only doing what you want,” he says as clearly as he can. “If you want hyung to prep you, you have to tell me to do it.”

Riku’s eyes, ever so slightly, widen. His chest rises, and he arches into Sion’s grasp, and his fingers twist into the sheets.

“Hyung,” he says. “Please, just-” He cuts himself off, voice dropping to a whisper. “You can prep me, please.”

Sion smiles. Thinks good boy, but doesn’t say it because Riku wouldn’t want to hear it. All he wants is clinical, normal sex. And that’s what Sion will give him, because that’s what he asked for so politely. Said please and everything.

So:

“Okay,” Sion says. “Open wide for me. I’ll use my fingers.”

Riku says nothing. Just obeys, keeping his thighs spread, head turned to the side so he doesn’t have to watch. Sion yearns to make him look - at least to make it seem enjoyable - but even just this is enough, at the end of the day. So Sion bites back the urge to taste him; to lick his slick up. He just traces his fingers down Riku’s slit, rubbing carefully at his clit. 

Riku’s breath hitches, but again, he says nothing. Sion keeps his movements light, gentle, firm. As the pamphlet told him to. Circles his clit and rubs at it until Riku’s thighs tremble. So tense, arched up, hips shaking from the stimulation. He still says nothing. Sion wants him to speak.

“Do you want it inside?” Sion asks, when the smell of slick becomes even heavier, drooling out of him. “Want me to finger you?”

Riku’s hips are still shaking and his eyes have gone glassy but he nods stiffly. Sion considers asking him for his words again, but thinks better of it. After all, they’ll be doing this again next month. They have much more time to work on it, the communication. 

So Sion manages to find his hole with little effort. He’s never been with an omega before - or anyone with a vagina, for that matter - but it’s not a difficult thing to figure out. There’s slick dripping from him, hole clenching as Sion’s middle finger presses at it. 

Riku wants him inside. Sion can tell by the look on his face, the way he pants as Sion carefully circles him. Not teasing, because that would be mean, but something that’s not that far off.

The thing is that Sion can’t help but want to tease. He wants to see Riku lose that last bit of composure, all keyed up. Wants to see him when he’s whining and begging for it properly. But he doesn’t, obviously; he can’t; but he tests the give of his finger at Riku’s entrance, and Riku fucking whines.

“Hyung,” he says. “Hyung, just do it.”

And again. Sion wants to tease more. Wants to hear that noise again. But he doesn’t; just sinks his finger into Riku’s hole to feel him clench down on it.

Fuckkk.

He’s tight. So, so much tighter than he thought he’d be. Sion doesn’t let himself comment on it, verbally, but he wants to. Wants to tell the omega just how wet and tight and good he is. Riku’s face screws up in something that isn’t quite pain as Sion fills him deeper and deeper, sinking down to the knuckle. The omega hisses once Sion’s in all the way.

He stares at his finger, the way it’s wet with slick as he drags it back out. “Have you ever-”

“Not since Japan,” Riku says. His voice is strained. “Not- only with another omega, you-” He clenches down. “Your fingers are big. Add another.”

Sion pauses where he’s slowly thrusting in and out, stuck on being Riku’s first alphan experience and also having big hands, apparently. Wonders how the stretch will be when he adds another finger, especially when he’s already so tight. “Are you-”

“Hyung,” Riku says, voice edging on a whine. “I want more.”

Holy shit. Okay. 

Sion listens; slowly sinks his pointer finger in him, careful as he nudges his walls apart and Riku bites down on his lip, the scent of slick only growing stronger. Riku takes him so well, so tight yet so easy, like he was made for it. Sion curls his fingers once they’re down to the knuckle and Riku’s back arches, mouths parting around an inaudible moan. 

Is that- did he just find-

“More,” Riku says, voice tense. He’s so demanding. “More, hyung-”

Sion thrusts into him, keeping his fingers aimed right at the spot that makes Riku flutter his eyelids and let out these little gasps. He seems dead-set on not making any more noises, let alone a full-on whine, but his breath is stuttering and he’s slicking up even more, and it’s all so wet and good, the way Riku opens up for him. Sion adds another finger, watches Riku’s eyes squeeze shut as he bullies his sweet spot.

He smells so good and feels even better. No matter how clinical and “normal” this is supposed to be. Sion wants to see him come. Wants to see his thighs shake even more. He slides his thumb up to rub at Riku’s clit, and the omega goes tense.

“Oh-” he covers his mouth with his fingers. His free hand is twisting into the sheets of the nest, hips shaking as Sion finger fucks him and rubs at him firmly. A moan breaks through his hand. Holy shit.

“You should- do you want to come?” Sion pants. He’s so, so fucking hard, salivating at the sight of Riku’s all tense and spread out for him, in the throes of pleasure. “I wanna see you come like this. It’ll feel good.”

“Hyung,” Riku groans. “Hyung, it- I want a knot.”

Sion knows that he’s supposed to listen, he does. But how is he supposed to pull out like this, when Riku is so, so good for him?

“I wanna see you come, Riku,” is what Sion says. “Please, on my fingers.”

Riku lets out a little whine before he covers his mouth again, throwing his head back. He probably feels so full like this, on the precipice of coming. Sion isn’t letting up until he squirts, or whatever the fuck omegas do in heat. Wants to- wants to see it. Really wants to see it.

The idea of Riku coming from Sion making him feel good has gotten him so, so keyed up. Makes him feel insane. He pants as he just watches Riku’s thighs tremble, cunt squeezing down on his fingers and his thighs closing down around Sion’s hand. He’s close. He’s so close. Sion can feel himself drooling for more.

“You take it so well,” Sion says before he can stop himself. “You take it so well, so good for me, so-”

Riku throws his head back with a moan as he comes, hole squeezing down on Sion so, so tight, getting his fingers wet. Groans as Sion fucks him through it, hips quivering, everything going so wet and easy and open and-

“Your knot,” Riku says with glassy eyes, panting and staring up at Sion. “I- I need it-”

Fuck. Okay. Okay, yes.

Sion pulls out of him and Riku keens the second he’s empty. His cunt is fucking dripping, glistening wet and still clenching down on nothing, and Sion has to think briefly of the pamphlet to remember what to do next before his brain, like, kills itself. The optimal heat position is to get Riku presenting, but that might be too much for his first knot. So when Riku tries to roll onto his back, Sion just keeps him still with a gentle hand on his hip.

“We can do it like this,” he says. “Hyung can do the work for you.”

Riku’s eyelids flutter closed as Sion says this. Arches his back again. Spreads his thighs.

“Okay,” he says. “Your knot, please.”

Sion will never get used to Riku’s idea of clinical sex - asking for things so politely and plainly, as if Sion would ever hold back from giving it to him. 

So Sion only wets his dick with the slick on his fingers and swallows, nodding. 

“Yeah,” he says. “I’ll give you my knot.”

The heat pheromones in the air already have a dull throb at the base of his cock, his knot aching to grow. But Riku tenses as Sion rubs the head of his cock down his slit, resting against his hole. His entrance is so open and wet, ready to take him in. But Sion can’t help but hesitate once he sees how… how much smaller Riku is in comparison.

He knows that omegan bodies are meant to take this, with force. But it still feels…

“Hyung,” Riku whimpers. “Hyung, I want it.”

And Sion, of course, will do whatever Riku wants. So he braces his hands against Riku’s hips and begins pushing in. 

It’s so, so fucking tight. Riku’s eyes squeeze shut and he bites down on his lip again, arching into it. Sion goes as slow as he can manage. He’s never been inside of an omega and Riku’s never had an alpha inside of him, and he’s read that goddamn pamphlet enough to know just how careful he truly has to be. Riku takes him in easily, as Sion slowly bullies his way inside. Firmly, but gently. More gentle than he’s ever been about anything before in his life. 

Riku’s hands find his shoulders once Sion gets a few inches in, holding tight. Digging into his skin. “Does it hurt?” Sion asks, kind of out of it. Riku shakes his head but keeps holding on.

“Are you alright with more?” Sion asks, trying to be gentle even as Riku clenches down on him and the wet, warm heat feels fucking addicting. Gets him hooked on the feeling of being inside someone else (specifically his omegan bandmate, but that’s a secret he’s taking to his grave).

Riku nods. 

So… you know. Okay.

Sion sinks down into him until he’s balls deep. It’s like nothing he’s ever felt before, as Riku rhythmically clenches down on him. He could probably knot him like this, just from being warm, but Riku throws his head back again when Sion slowly thrusts out and then back in. He can feel the omega adjusting to him - moulded to the shape of him, what the fuck - and it’s- it’s indescribable. How wet and warm and perfect it is to be inside of Riku.

Riku still seems keen on not letting out any noises, but he grunts and clenches down when Sion gives a bit of a harder thrust back inside him. And makes the noise one more time when he does it again. And again. And again and again and-

Sion is slow, is careful, but he’s a little more firm as he flexes his hips and fucks right into the spot he knows feels the best. The pamphlet, after all, told him to.

“Does it feel good?” Sion asks him when Riku’s arms sling around his neck after a particularly hard thrust. He leans down to get closer, so Riku can cling on more properly. “Does hyung feel good inside you?”

He wants to say more. Wants to ask so, so much more. Wants to know if this is the best Riku has ever felt, if the omegas back in Japan could fuck him like this, if anyone except for his hyung knows how to fill him up just right. And he doesn’t ask any of that, obviously. That wouldn’t be in line with their very clinical, normal sex between bandmates. But Sion’s alpha snaps in his chest, mine, mine, mine.

He’s not, he tells himself. He isn’t.

Not yet, his alpha growls. One day-

Riku shakes his head. Refuses to answer any of Sion’s questions. His eyes are still squeezed shut and he’s still flushed from head to toe, but his scent doesn’t lie. Arousal and desire and pleasure, pleasure, pleasure. His body doesn’t lie, either; taking Sion in so easily, clenching down on his thrusts out like he doesn’t want the alpha to leave.

Sion wants to bite him. Wants to kiss him. Wants to hold him even closer.

“I want to make it good for you, Riku,” Sion growls, fucking harder into him. “Want to- want to make you love it-”

Riku makes a broken, wounded noise as Sion bullies his way into his sweet spot. His thighs are trembling, hooked over Sion’s waist as he pounds him into the sheets. They’ve never been so close to each other before. Noses almost touching. Riku clings onto him, biting back moans and groaning, and Sion just wants more. Wants everything that he’s holding back. 

Doesn’t want anyone else to hear those noises, doesn't want anyone else to have this. And it’s not his place to want such a thing, but he wants it anyway.

The bed shakes as Sion puts all his strength into pounding his roommate dumb. And Riku takes it, tense as all hell and moaning freely when Sion snaps his hips just right, only to later bite down on his fingers and hide his face in Sion’s neck. And Sion lays over him, letting Riku cling on and groan into his collarbone, making sure he fucks him nice and deep and in the way that gets his hips shaking the hardest, nearly delirious from it. Sion wants to see his face, wants to kiss him, but he doesn’t ask to. That’s his role here - to not ask for too much.

His knot is starting to form properly, like a threat, at the base of his cock. Making loud plopping sounds as Sion drags it in and out of him. In and out, in and out… Sion is half out of his mind, both from the pleasure and Riku’s heat hormones in the air. Begging for him to take and take. Begging to fill him up.

His alpha wants to breed. Wants to fuck him full, keep him warm and sated. Sion holds Riku down by the hips and forces his way deep inside him, gritting his teeth.

“You feel so fucking good,” he hisses. “Feels so good, hyung can’t believe it, wanna knot you-”

Riku is- is drooling into his collarbone. Lets out a muffled, “hyung, please-”

“You want my knot?” Sion asks, half-crazed. Wants to fucking kiss him, want to eat him alive, wants to keep this beautiful boy all to himself. “Want to be- you wanna be filled?”

Riku whines into his neck. Says, “please.”

So polite. So polite, so clinical, making all of this so normal. Sion wonders if Riku would let him kiss him. Would let him say all the nasty things his alpha spews in his ear. Would let him just how fucking badly he wants him like this, all the time, sex or heat or not. Wants to tuck him in bed. Wants to curl up next to him when they go to sleep. Wants to towel off his sweat after practice and press a shaky kiss to his forehead whenever Riku laughs at his stupid jokes-

“Gonna knot you,” Sion growls. “Riku, honey, gonna knot you-”

Riku moans, and leaves a panting kiss on Sion’s jaw.

And Sion, naturally, pops his knot.

It’s weird for the both of them. Sion has never knotted anything besides a fleshlight. But it feels like nirvana, feels incredible, as Riku whines and whines and drags his nails down his back, moaning and panting. It probably hurts, it’s his first time, but he just takes it so easily. Like it’s no problem at all. Like the most normal part of their sex is the way Sion has knotted him. 

It’s an awkward position to wait out a knot. Sion is laid on top of him. Riku lets go of him entirely, tensing up, as Sion pulses inside of him. So Sion rolls onto his side with great, great delicacy, and takes Riku into his arms. 

Riku tenses even more. “Hyung-”

“It’s okay,” Sion tells him. He runs a hand down his back. “Just for a little while.”

They wait out Sion’s knot like that, intertwined. And when Sion has gone soft and has pulled free, Riku lets go of him and rolls onto his back. He squeezes Sion’s hand, briefly, maybe in thanks, but then retreats far away enough so they aren’t touching. So clinical, once again. Sion watches him drift off, satiated for now.

He didn’t think the first wave of Riku’s heat would come with heartbreak, but he supposes that it has. Riku lets him knot him, but god forbid they kiss or touch any longer than they need to. Sion can’t even mourn the way his spend drips out of him, because he’s too busy watching Riku’s chest rise and fall. Rise and fall. Rise and fall.

Maybe he’s an idiot for falling for his heat partner. Maybe he’s an idiot for feeling so much affection for someone who can’t even look him in the eyes. Maybe he’s an idiot, and this will only lead to pain, and maybe he’s delusional for even thinking that Riku enjoyed the feeling of Sion inside him, keeping him full-

Sion doesn’t know how long he lays there, just watching. Just waiting and hoping to be wanted again. But not long after, Riku is waking up again, and the full force of his heat has returned, spice in the air.

“Hyung,” he whispers. “Let’s do it again.”

Sion is hopeless. Just wants Riku to want him. So he says, “okay.” And thinks, I’d do anything you ever asked of me.  

So they do it again. And again and again and again and again and-

-

It’s nearly two years later when he wakes up to an omega panting in his neck. Mouthing at his scent gland. Nipping, nipping, teasing. 

“That’s not in the pamphlet,” Sion mutters, blinking awake. He opens his eyes to Riku already looking back at him. Watching. Meeting his gaze. 

“Enough about the pamphlet,” Riku quips, kissing up his jaw. “I’m almost in heat, hyung. There’s bigger fish to fry.”

There is, indeed, but Sion would never give him that satisfaction. Not when Riku and his beloved heats have caused him so much grief. 

“Mmm,” Sion hums when Riku makes his way to his lips, giving him a surprisingly sweet kiss. “Like what, hmm? My knot?”

Riku huffs out against his lips, biting again. “Sure, hyung. Like your knot.”

He fits himself into Sion’s arms, who accepts him easily like he belongs there. He purrs when Sion mouths at his scent gland. Hands wrapped firm around Sion’s bicep as Sion inhales his sweetening scent. 

“You love my knot,” Sion mutters. “Insatiable. What’ll I do with you.”

And that makes Riku giggle. “No, I love you. Your knot is just a bonus.”

And that, Sion supposes, is true enough. Even when the heat drags them under long enough to miss an important week of comeback promotions. He doesn’t even think about Riku’s old fascination with clinical sex as a means to an end, nor how he used to be unable to meet Sion’s eyes, nor even that stupid fucking pamphlet. 

Riku is his, isn’t he? It took some time, but he is. And that was what made it all worth it. 

(But the cycle sharing, he admits, really isn’t even all that bad. So perhaps SM wins just this once.)