Chapter Text
The sound of cheerful laughter seemed to echo against the metal of the ship. Each surface that wasn't neon was painted pastel, and everything that wasn't pastel had a sticker or twelve covering it like constellations. Bright, blinding, like a visual falsetto, somewhere between perfectly bright and fake to a fault. The two who stood inside its kaleidoscope walls both matched it in entirely different ways. The conversation bent and twisted at strange angles in the hallway, distorting as distance was gained like a face in a hall of mirrors. It only grew clear when they were within a dozen yards or so, despite the insistent echoing that seemed prominent on the ship.
"And that's the best pair 'a socks I've ever seen, lemme tell ya!" finished the shorter of the two, orange and smiling and radiating only wholehearted goodness. "I'd have gone an' bought one, but, folks like me gotta keep movin' before someone catches us!"
"Just one sock?" the mischievous banana-looking creature snipped, before laughing much louder than needed. Everything about him seemed almost crooked; his grin, his demeanor, his mannerisms. "Moving around everywhere, huh? Like old times, right, old buddy? Maybe that's why everyone calls you Tumbleweed!"
"I haven't heard that ol' nickname in ages, Screwball!" Wander laughed. "Wander's been the one everyone's picked up for a long time."
"I wander why!" They both got a good laugh out of that one, continuing onward through the ship.
"I gotta say, you sure do know how to make a ship feel friendly!" Wander stopped to peer at some of the stickers. "Is this one a scratch-and-sniff? That's great! And this one is shiny, wow, your ship is so amazing!"
Screwball didn't stop moving though, and Wander continued after him, having to dash to catch up. "Is this what you were wantin' to show me bad enough that you hunted me down through half'a this star system?"
"Nope! It's even better!" Screwball stopped and turned to beam at Wander in a way that most would consider just a little frightening. Wander wasn't phased. "I've had the breakthrough of the century, old pal! Our old dream from all those years ago is finally possible! I, Screwball..." He paused for dramatic effect. "...have figured out a way to make every single person laugh without fail!"
"Whaaaaaaat?!" Wander gasped, eyes lighting up with joy. "Really?! That's... That's... That's amazing! You're amazing! Everyone? You mean it?"
"I mean it!" He turned and moved through the sliding doors, Wander now excitedly bouncing right at his tail. "Old buddy old pal, Wander, I finally figured out how to make our dream a reality and it's so much simpler than I could've ever dreamed!"
"This is so exciting! Every single person we can find, happy as can be, just like that! I can hardly believe it! This is just amazing!" Wander seemed like he might bounce right off the walls, but he stopped bouncing when he looked around at this new room. "Oh, wowza!"
The walls of the room were covered in chalkboards, wires, screens and keyboards all laid out in a way that hardly made any sense. Pinboards showcased pictures with yarn strung between them, and a single dartboard sat on one side of the room, abandoned. All kinds of writing that Wander could barely read the handwriting of, let alone understand, lined almost everywhere he looked.
"Screwball, is there a screw loose?" Wander asked, getting a laugh from the scientist. "What is all this?"
"My plan!" Screwball spun to look at him, grinning wide as he broke out his accordion with a grand flourish. "Let me explain to you! Through our favorite method—song!"
"Aww, sorry pal, I left my banjo back a ways, and you can't hardly play without someone playin' right alongside you," Wander apologized. Screwball waved it off.
"Ah, hard to find a rhyme for most of this anyways," he said. "But regardless, the plan that I have so far is as such—" He whirled away a chalkboard and it rolled across the room dangerously fast, nearly toppling over. "I've made the blueprints and done the calculations for all of this a hundred times over. With my methods, no matter how hard anyone tries, I can FORCE them the laugh for as long as I want, nonstop! Whole cities, no, whole PLANETS on bended knee, laughing hard enough to shake the ground they walk on! Whether they like it or not, with enough time, we can have he whole galaxy unable to contain their giggles! Beautiful, isn't it, Wander?" He spun around and saw that...
Wander wasn't smiling anymore.
"Wait, you'll... Screwball, you can't just force folks to laugh," Wander said, voice uncharacteristically quiet. "That ain't fair to them."
Screwball's smile only wavered for a second. "Wander, this is what we always wanted to do. Happiness to the whole galaxy, remember? Didn't you want to give everyone a fair shot to be happy?"
"Yeah, I do. But you've got it all wrong. Forcin' all of 'em to laugh don't make them happy all of a sudden. Makin' them start with the giggles against their will ain't any better than takin' over a whole planet like some of them big scary guys out there. You're doin' the same thing as they are," Wander reasoned. His eyes weren't wide with excitement anymore. Now he looked weary of the boards around him. "Y'all have good intentions, be it takin' over planets or makin' laugh machines, I know that, but... this ain't how you do things."
"Wander, you can't back out now, not after all of this!" Screwball protested, smile suddenly sinister. "I still need your help to finish this! I need you to just, you know. Ask around, collect some favors, I've heard the stories about you just like everyone else! You've got some debts due from all the helping you do, and if you use that to help me, we can help even more to double pay them back! See?"
Wander was shaking his head now. "No, Screwball. This ain't right. You gotta let folks CHOOSE to accept your help. You can't force friendship, just like you can't force happiness. I'm sorry to say this, and... and it breaks my heart, it really does." If his pained expression was anything to go by, he was being honest. "I refuse to help you with this. This won't make anyone happy. I can't help you make people sad."
Screwball kept smiling. "Would you look at that! First time ever, old Tumbleweed doesn't want to help someone! You're a big old hypocrite now, you know that, right?"
"Don't call me that. That ain't even my name." Wander tipped his hat up on his head, turning to leave. "I'm sorry, Screwball. Thank you so much for showin' me this neat ship. It's really great!"
Wander heard the faint hum of the accordion filling with air and he only barely managed to sidestep the attack that followed a few seconds later. "Not so fast, old buddy." Screwball was giggling now, and Wander turned slowly, hands out at his sides. "Look, even if you don't help me with this, I still need you, pal."
"To... to be a friend in this challenging time? And help guide you on the right path?" Wander asked hopefully.
"No way, nomad! That hat of yours, it's magic, right? Can give you anything you want?" Wander gripped the hat by the rim protectively. "Well if you aren't going to help me get my resources, then that hat is a good plan B, wouldn't you say?"
Wander ducked out of the way of the next attack nimbly and stared Screwball down. "Screwball, I don't wanna fight, just let me leave," Wander said, eyes locked on the accordion.
"Wow, no big speech on friendship? No climactic spiel about all the times we've had? Or maybe—" Wander dashed away from the next several attacks, all in quick succession. "—you know that playtime is finally over?" He erupted into laugher again, nearly falling into hysterics as he fired volley after volley, chord after chord.
"I'm leavin', Screwball!" Wander announced, stamping his foot once and making a dash for the door, jumping over and sliding under the oncoming attacks. Screwball couldn't hear him over his roaring, cackling, screeching laughter.
Then Wander was gone, on the run again, and Screwball was left in the room alone, staring at the wreckage of all his hard work. Years, wasted, with the chalkboards cracked and crumbled because of his own attacks turned against him, screens shattered and smoking.
Screwball didn't stop laughing. "Smart as always, right, Wander?!" he shouted, with no reply. "Making me hit my own work while you ran away! Coward! Weakling! Naïve nomad!" No response. "I'll rebuild! You'll see me again, Wander! One day!"
One day.