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It’s not a bother. It definitely isn’t a bother when he is left back at HNUH hospital to deal with trauma patients while Baek Kang-hyuk takes Seo Dong-ju—most known as No. 2—in the helicopter for the sake of saving a victim in a hiking trail up in the mountains. It really isn’t. At least, that’s what he tells himself.
It should be a good thing. The fact that Dr. Baek trusts him enough to take over the Trauma Centre while he is unavailable is supposed to be a good thing. After all, he’d been looking for the doctor’s approval ever since he first showed up, months ago. This had to be it—this had to be Dr. Baek acknowledging his efforts and finally putting him with more responsibility and control over the operating room.
It had to be.
And yet, when he put his mind to it, he felt a pang of annoyance. Disappointment and resentment—towards who, he isn’t sure. Definitely not No. 2—Dong-ju was a great colleague and always interesting to talk to; he had nothing to do with this. Yes. The one to blame was Baek Kang-hyuk and his stupid spontaneous decisions.
Deep down, he knows. He is aware that Dr. Baek is choosing to take Dong-ju over him because Dong-ju had just joined their team. And, as much as he had served the military and seen more action than Jae-won could ever witness, it was still a complete shift compared to what Dr. Baek forced them to go through. The rookie was good with critical, survival situations and had a decent basis from textbooks—but he was still not used to performing surgeries in moving vehicles and was adamant on learning it for the sake of becoming a better doctor.
Jae-won admired that about Dong-ju—it made him glad that someone was willing to put in the effort in the Trauma Centre. Still… when he thought about his colleague, he couldn’t help but to feel strange. He’d look over at Dong-ju working around alongside Dr. Baek and he’d feel almost betrayed—left out; tossed aside.
Fuck it, he was jealous.
Truth was that he was feeling jealousy towards Dong-ju and some sort of concern that, perhaps, he was slowly being replaced as Dr. Baek’s trusty sidekick. And, realistically, he should feel offended to be put under the ‘sidekick’ category—
He was a surgeon, too, goddamn it.
—but deep down he was accepting of it. Jae-won didn’t mind being Dr. Baek’s shadow if it meant he got to watch the man work every hour of the day. He didn’t mind being called Anus or Slave No. 1 if it meant he could pick up Dr. Baek’s brain out like a parasite, leeching off of his knowledge and skills. Jae-won truly did not mind.
Alas, nowadays, it felt as if he was being put to the side. It wasn’t Dong-ju’s fault, of course—he could never blame the younger man for being eager and determined to learn how to be a better trauma response doctor. And it certainly wasn’t Dr. Baek’s fault either. But he couldn’t help but be upset with his mentor. He couldn’t help but to be angry whenever he saw Dr. Baek choosing Dong-ju over him for a surgery—he couldn’t help but to be miserable whenever Dr. Baek picked Dong-ju to go out to start triage on field.
It had been about two months, now. Two months ever since the heliport had been installed—two months ever since he’d been present to find new hirings for the Trauma Centre; two moths ever since Seo Dong-ju had been added to their team. Jae-won hadn’t said a word ever since—never once talking about it with anyone. Although, Nurse Cheon and Agnes would constantly be on his back to try and find the source of his problems.
Because, truth be told, Jae-won was underperforming.
Now, that wasn’t entirely true. He was still working perfectly with surgeries whenever he was put on the lead role; never once making a mistake, always making the right calls here and there. Granted, his speed to perform a surgery wasn’t nearly as good as Dr. Baek, but the nurses and doctors alike still praised him for his good work. So, realistically, he wasn’t underperforming in his work.
But he was underperforming socially.
Cheon Jang-mi had been the first to notice. The woman nagged him about it until the moment he finally snapped at her—something he rarely does—putting his foot down and instructing her to not bother him again. She hadn’t been upset. As always, Jang-mi was far more experienced than he was when it came to dealing with doctors who had a bit too much of an authority ego. Not that Jae-won had any authority ego, but at that moment he had sounded just like Dr. Han used to sound months ago. It embarrassed him.
“I’m sorry,” he had said, head slumping over his shoulder, sinking lower and lower.
“Don’t worry about it, Dr. Yang,” was her response. “You can come talk to me whenever you’re ready, okay? I just don’t want to see you like this anymore.”
“I’ll try…” had been his small, white lie.
Neither of them had tackled the issue again. Jae-won far too embarrassed to even speak about it. The other nurses made sure to keep their concerns to themselves, already knowing that Dr. Yang wasn’t keen on having a conversation about his personal problems. And things seemed to have calmed down.
The issue was still prevalent and quite obvious—he could never not see Dr. Baek roaming around with Dong-ju on his tail, eagerly following instructions. The pang of jealousy sunk deeper and deeper every time. But Jae-won would not say anything about it. It was too embarrassing, too stupid. Because he should be happy—he should be glad to have people believing that he was a capable surgeon; he should be glad Dr. Baek trusted him with performing surgeries alone, now.
He really should. But he couldn’t help it. All he could do was avoid the subject and try to put his best fake smile as he interacted with his colleagues in the Trauma Centre.
Yang Jae-won sighed into his palms as he sat at one of the chairs in his assigned room. The Duty Doctor Room had become, essentially, his second home at this point. He barely got any sleep or a time to take a break—so he simply stayed over by the Duty Doctor Room and lived his life as if he was renting a small room in downtown Seoul. He wishes that was the case, rather than him being put to work on a 24/7 basis.
Alas, that had been his choice, anyway. And he enjoyed his job. Although, lately, his job was starting to get to him. Once again he had snapped at one of the nurses, angry and upset with everything as his emotions kept being bottled up inside. The nurse in question hadn’t talked back, at all. Instead, she had simply bowed, somewhat fearful, getting back at her job. A new nurse, too—she had just applied to join their Trauma Centre and now… well, now he had gone off and snapped at her for no reason.
Yes, maybe she was being a little too clueless and slow as his patient proceeded to bleed all over the operating table. Still, that did not grant him permission to scream at her. That was not like him. That was Dr. Baek’s thing. Jae-won was more of a coward—a goody-two-shoes. And yet, lately, he’d been acting more and more like a prick every day.
It was starting to worry him. A weight over his shoulder that he wasn’t able to shake off because of stupid emotions. It was slowly dragging him down. And, granted, by now all significant changes were towards his socializing abilities. But, if it kept going for any longer, then maybe his work would get affected as well.
“No. 1,” the voice cuts through his thoughts, making him jump slightly. Surprised, he spins the chair to look at the man who’d just called him.
“Dr. Baek…” he greets weakly, shoulders slumping further. He most definitely does not want to see Dr. Baek at this moment—he doesn’t want to talk to him at all. If he does… he is afraid that he’ll open his big mouth and just spit all that has been piled over inside his heart. All of the stupid jealousy that has been mounting inside. And he doesn’t want to talk about it.
“I heard from the gangster that you screamed at the new nurse today,” Dr. Baek takes off his lab coat, hanging it properly along with the mix of his and Jae-won’s clothes.
“That…” Jae-won isn’t even sure on how to explain himself. “…I was a bit out of line today. I’ve apologized already. There’s no need to worry.”
“Just today?”
A silence stretches between them. Jae-won is a little too much of a coward to look at Dr. Baek in the eyes. He can feel his mentor’s stare burning through him—like a hot, laser beam, making him awfully aware of everything. Dr. Baek wasn’t about to let this go. The man was stubborn. Jae-won knew that, at this moment, he wouldn’t be able to avoid the questions. There would be simply no way to deflect anything if the person asking him about it was Dr. Baek.
It was not as if he could just get up from his chair and leave Dr. Baek behind. The man would most certainly follow him, drag him off by his shirt’s collar and forced him to speak out. He knew that.
Silently, he prays to whatever god there was to have a patient. It’s only then he realizes how sick praying for that even was. He was essentially begging for someone to get hurt.
Stupid.
“Dr. Baek… I don’t—”
“I don’t care,” the other man takes a step forward, essentially caging him inside the room. There was no escape. “Gangster has been pestering me about you lately. Something is wrong. And I need to fix it. Capiche?”
Jae-won bites his lip, feeling the need to breakdown and just cry until he passes out. He feels awfully stupid—he feels dirty. He felt disgusted with himself. Disgusted for feeling jealousy; disgusted for envying his new colleague’s spot; disgusted that he is so bothered about not being picked by Dr. Baek. Jae-won was horrible.
“Dr. Baek…” Jae-won pleads quietly.
“What, No. 1?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Bullshit,” Dr. Baek tugs at his lab coat, pulling him up from his chair. It’s sudden and it almost makes him fall back onto the floor. But Dr. Baek’s hands stabilise him, holding him still. “C’mon. Speak up.”
“Dr. Baek—”
“Yang Jae-won, if you don’t speak up I will personally beat you up,” Dr. Baek says sharply, shaking him ever so slightly. “You’ve been off for weeks now! Everyone is talking about it. What is wrong? What happened? You know I need you in your right mind—”
“I know!” Jae-won snaps, slapping Dr. Baek’s arms, shoving his hands off of his shoulders.
“Doesn’t look like it!”
“I’ve been doing my job properly, haven’t I?” His voice is icy—almost sick and full of venom. He’s doing it again—he’s being a prick for no reason. He is lashing out because he is jealous of Dong-ju.
“If you can even call that proper.”
“Well, you trusted me with this, didn’t you?!” Jae-won’s face contorts as he stares angrily at the other man. “You put this in my hand because you believe in me, no? I saved your life, didn’t I? I’m good enough, aren’t I?!” Dr. Baek stares back, but he doesn’t say anything. Jae-won hates it. “What?! Is Seo Dong-ju better than me? Is that why you’re talking shit about my work now? Because you’ve been all buddy-buddy with him?!”
Huh?
Jae-won’s mouth snaps shut immediately. Shock washes over him and he feels all the anger dissipating almost instantly. Dr. Baek stares—his expression somewhat neutral; he can’t read his reaction at all. Nervously, Jae-won turns his back towards the other man, hands rubbing at his face—he is fucked. He said it out loud—he screamed about his stupid jealousy towards Dong-ju. All the effort he’d put to keep this secret buried deep in his heart—all for nothing. All for Dr. Baek to dig it up, effortlessly.
The silence between them is unbearable. Jae-won isn’t sure if Dr. Baek is even going to acknowledge what he’d just said. Honestly, he wasn’t even sure if he’d be forgiven—if he’d be allowed to continue working as he was before. Not after he’d screamed at nurses and doctors alike—not when he screamed right in Dr. Baek’s face. His career was over, for sure.
“Dr. Baek…” he finally takes the courage to slowly turn towards the other man. Hesitant and unsure, Jae-won turns around to look at Dr. Baek—expecting the other to be furious; expecting him to belittle him and reprimand him for his stupid feelings. Yet, when he turns to look at him, all he sees is a small smile. As if Dr. Baek was quietly laughing at him. “…what? What’s that? Why are you smiling? I just did something bad—what—why would you smile?”
“No. 1,” the man’s voice is somewhat quiet—softer—but full of amusement.
“…yes?”
“Is that what’s been eating you all week?”
“More like a month…” he quietly confides. It takes him a second to realize what he’s said, before he waves the comment off, before correcting himself. “Ah! I mean—no!”
“Missing me that much, huh?”
“No! You got it wrong!”
“You’re upset I’ve been picking No. 2 to field work,” Dr. Baek comments, taking another step towards Jae-won. “Are you jealous, No. 1?”
“What?!” His voice cracks as he takes a step back, but ends up hitting the back of his knees against the chair, making him stumble onto it on a clumsy fall.
Being sat on the chair made everything all the more difficult. Dr. Baek looming over him, getting closer and closer, hands slowly reaching out to grasp at the chair’s armrests. Jae-won felt trapped. Caged between the man’s arms and torso, he honestly saw no possible exit.
“Jae-won-ah,” so close. His name being spoken oh, so softly. Dr. Baek dipped down, inches away from his face. Jae-won could feel his breath against his face—he could feel the heat coming off of him. He could feel and see a lot. “Are you jealous?”
“Dr. Baek—”
“Why so jealous, Jae-won-ah?” Dr. Baek’s hands reach over at Jae-won’s arms, sliding up slowly to meet his shoulders. “Aren’t you my No. 1?”
“…I just missed having your attention all to myself,” he quietly confesses, eyes looking away as he feels embarrassed.
“You should’ve come to me, then,” it’s all the man says before he is pressing his lips against Jae-won’s.
Jae-won should feel embarrassed. He should feel pathetic and stupid. Because, really, he had just confessed that he was jealous. But, the moment he feels Dr. Baek’s lips on his, all of his embarrassment fades away. Deep down, he feels satisfied—he feels happy to know that he is Baek Kang-hyuk’s No. 1. He feels accomplished to have Kang-hyuk all to himself in ways that no one could.
Despite feeling surprised at the sudden development, Jae-won is satisfied. He is happy and eager—like always. The moment takes over him, making him part his lips to deepen the kiss further—and Kang-hyuk isn’t one to deny anything to Jae-won, quickly agreeing and pressing his tongue over at his bottom lip.
Jae-won groans, feeling the pent-up tension spreading along his body, making him feel impatient. He pushes against Kang-hyuk, hand reaching at the man’s perfectly cut hair, tugging along at it. Kang-hyuk is more than happy to let the younger man do whatever he wishes—angling his neck a bit, pulling at Jae-won’s lab coat, slowly bringing him back to his feet. It’s clumsy, of course, considering neither of them wants to let go of the other—neither of them wanting to stop the kiss—but they manage.
Once Kang-hyuk has him on his feet, he is slowly pushed towards the bunkbed. The mattress hits the back of his knees, making him fall onto it—but Kang-hyuk holds him properly, slowly following him along as he climbs onto the bed as well. Limbs tangled together, Jae-won whines as Kang-hyuk leans away from the kiss.
“Dr. Baek—”
“Don’t call me doctor right now, Jae-won-ah,” the other man laughs, resting his lips at the connecting part of his jaw and ear. Jae-won shivers against him, feeling extra sensitive.
“Then… what—” he takes a sharp intake of breath when he feels Kang-hyuk’s tongue at the tip of his ear, biting it weakly. “—what should I call you?”
“Hm…” Kang-hyuk explores the other man’s neck, pressing his lips, biting, sucking—everything. “My name?”
“That’s—aghn—” his body moves in response to Kang-hyuk’s touches. His back arches ever so slightly, closing in on the other man’s body. “—that’s too long.”
“Call me hyung, then,” he chuckles, leaning back onto Jae-won’s lips, wanting to get more of his taste.
Jae-won groans into the kiss, hands clumsily reaching for Kang-hyuk, grasping at his back, pulling him closer. All the pent-up feelings he’s been keeping—all of it was pushed into tension, making him awfully hard. It’s impossible to not flush his body on Kang-hyuk’s—not when he knows that Kang-hyuk is also hard. Because of him—because of him and no one else.
Kang-hyuk seems to take some pity on him—seeing how desperate he seemed to be—hands travelling south, taking Jae-won’s hips and pulling it against his own crotch. Both men groan at the contact—both hard and eager to continue. But Jae-won wanted more. Without even realising, he slowly tried to rut against Kang-hyuk, trying to seize his release.
“Jae-won-ah,” Kang-hyuk says quietly, eyes barely open as he enjoys Jae-won’s pathetic attempts on rubbing his dick on his. “All you had to do was call me,” a hand slips away from his hip, before reaching for Jae-won’s pants.
“Hyung—” Jae-won whines, nails dragging at Kang-hyuk’s still-clothed back. “Please, please—”
“So whiny,” is all Kang-hyuk says, a grin on his lips. His hand reaches for Jae-won’s cock, cupping it through his underwear. The noises Jae-won makes is divine. Needy, little thing. “How long have you been keeping this away from me, hm?”
“Anhg—hah—hyung,” Jae-won couldn’t control the few bucks his hips were doing. Desperate for Kang-hyuk’s touch, he barely cared if he looked absolutely pathetic.
“Alright, alright,” Kang-hyuk kisses at his jugular, trailing up to meet with his face again. Jae-won has his eyes shut, mouth open, brows furrowed—he looked amazing. “I’ll make it quick. We can’t waste much time, isn’t that right? We’re both surgeons, people depend on us. I don’t think they’d appreciate our absence for too long.”
Kang-hyuk’s fingers dig under Jae-won’s boxers, pulling the fabric down to reach for his dick. The moment he grabs him, Jae-won melts with a keen mewl, hands somehow reaching beneath Kang-hyuk’s shirt, dragging his nails all over his skin. Kang-hyuk hisses, but doesn’t say anything to make the other stop. If anything, he wants Jae-won to keep going.
With Jae-won’s dick in hand, he doesn’t waste any time to tug at his foreskin, exposing the man’s head leaking with precum. Kang-hyuk looked down, watching as his own hand worked around Jae-won, giving him a few slow pumps, keeping it tight enough to tip him over the edge. Jae-won sinks his nails on his back, vocally pointing out he was feeling good. It was enough for Kang-hyuk to pick up the pace.
“Hyung!” Jae-won pants, holding onto the other man.
“Yes, Jae-won-ah?” Kang-hyuk barely looks affected. If it weren’t for his dick pressing against his leg, he would’ve thought he was the only one truly enjoying it.
“Hold on…” he reaches his hand down to meet with Kang-hyuk’s. The other man stops at his request, looking a bit confused. “I… I want to—” he bites his lip—such a nervous tic—looking anywhere but at Kang-hyuk. “I want to touch you, too.”
There’s a moment of silence. Jae-won thinks he has made a mistake—he thinks that Kang-hyuk wasn’t interested. That all of this was just a way for him to help with his issue and nothing else. But, the moment he hears Kang-hyuk’s soft grunt, he knows that wasn’t the case.
“Jae-won-ah,” he says it, almost desperate himself. “You’re fucking perfect.”
“…is that—is that a yes?”
“Yes,” he breathes, taking his hand off of Jae-won for a second, before reaching for his own dick and pulling it out of his pants.
Jae-won says nothing in return. Instead, he reaches out to take a hold of Kang-hyuk. He’s clumsy and definitely unexperienced. But by the moment he has his hand over Kang-hyuk, he felt the man’s hand moving on his own dick. And, despite most of his senses being completely overrun by pleasure, he still had half a mind to copy Kang-hyuk’s movements. It was slow and clumsy, but Jae-won was determined.
When he rubs his thumb over Kang-hyuk’s head, he hears the man react with a moan of his own. It fuelled him to keep doing it—slowly picking up the pace, matching Kang-hyuk’s pace on him. Jae-won couldn’t help but to think that chanting over the other man, calling for him, moaning and begging was incredibly pathetic. But Kang-hyuk was just as vocal—albeit less high-pitched and breathier—making everything feel hot.
“Hyung—”
“I… know,” the man pants slightly, rubbing his thumb over Jae-won’s head, flicking his index finger at his underside, tracing at a vein. “Come for me, baby.”
“Mmh—” Jae-won momentarily stops, finally feeling the climax hit him. It takes a second—he is spilling all over his still clothed abdomen, tainting the medical gown. It makes him embarrassed. But Kang-hyuk looks so pleased—so satisfied with what he’d done—that he barely had any time to think of things logically.
“Good…” Kang-hyuk soothes, pumping him up until the last minute—up until he’d finally stopped coming.
It takes a few more seconds as he recomposes himself, feeling somewhat lightheaded. But Jae-won had other things to worry about. Kang-hyuk was still hard and twitching within his hand, silently begging to be dealt with. And he couldn’t just not do anything.
So, as he comes out of his high, he immediately focus on Kang-hyuk. The man in question stutters for a second, breathing sharply. “Jae-won-ah—”
“I want this.”
“Fuck…” he groans in response, head falling onto Jae-won’s collarbone as he lets himself enjoy the feeling.
Jae-won is mesmerised with Kang-hyuk’s noises—breathy and somewhat desperate, too. It only fuels him further, making his brain work harder to remember what exactly Kang-hyuk had done on him to replicate it. He is still unexperienced and clumsy, but he tries his best and that is all that matters, it seemed. Because soon enough, Kang-hyuk would be spilling all over Jae-won, panting as he rode the climax away.
A moment later and both men had already recomposed themselves.
Kang-hyuk is the first one to get up from the bed, silently tucking himself in. Jae-won stares, somewhat curious and apprehensive. He wonders what is going to happen now. How would they navigate the fact that they had been kissing and giving each other handjobs? He doesn’t know.
“No. 1,” the voice calls out to him.
“Yes?”
“Get up,” Kang-hyuk urges. “Go change your clothes. You can’t just treat patients with cum all over your shirt.”
Jae-won gapes, looking shocked and offended at the same time. “Hyung!”
“It’s Dr. Baek, now, Dr. Yang,” the man has the audacity to blink at him.
“Dr. Baek!”
“Yes, my love?”
“Doctor—Hyung!”
“C’mon,” Kang-hyuk takes him by the wrists, tugging him to get him back on his feet. “Work time, Dr. Yang.”
“You’re—god—you’re impossible!”
“I know.”