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It had started as a transaction. After the Russia job had gone sideways, upside down, and all fucked up, Clay had gotten sentimental. Started talking about things like ‘legacy’ and ‘purpose’. Started spending late nights staring at Pooch’s family pictures on his phone while Cougar pretended to sleep.
He had asked a lot of questions, probably more questions than he ever had in his life. Was their life not enough? Was it a good idea to bring more kids into the world? How could they ever promise a child a stable life? What Omega in their right mind would be interested in any kind of relationship with them? It was different for Pooch. He had his wife, a beautiful, stable Omega with a steady job and more love in her heart than ten people.
“We’re not nice people, Clay,” he had said, staring up at the darkened ceiling as his lover’s head rested on his chest.
“We’re not monsters, either.”
That had been his reply, and it seemed to answer every one of his questions. They were not monsters. They would find a way. Of course, that didn’t mean the way had to be legal.
“It’s better this way.”
Clay had been pacing, but the words had stopped him.
“Better?”
Cougar had nodded, certain that a purchase on the black market was the best way to ensure that everyone got what they wanted. They could get a child, keep their anonymity, and the Omega would get some cold, hard cash. No strings attached, no loose ends, just business.
Then, Jensen had walked through the door and everything had changed.
He was big for an Omega, with at least eighty pounds and several inches on him, but there had been a softness about him, even then. Beyond the dark shadows under his eyes and the too-deep hollows of his cheeks, Cougar had seen it right away. This fucker wasn’t just desperate, he was good. More than good, and it had only taken one shared glance with Clay to make their choice.
“Come on,” Clay had said as they stood up from the table.
“What? Where? Don’t you guys have like…questions or something? The ad said there was an interview, I don’t-”
Cougar had stemmed the nervous protests with a hand on Jensen’s chest.
“You heard the man,” he murmured, “You’re hired, now let’s go home.”
“H-home?”
“Home.”
That first night had been a mess of confusion, he and Clay both desperate to get their hands and everything else all over Jensen. Too many limbs, too many pheromones, and too much enthusiasm had ended the whole thing with a stray elbow sending Jensen’s glasses flying. They had paid him, of course, but it was too late. Neither of them could bear to send him away and after a brief flurry of whispers and curses, Clay had flushed as red as a fire engine and asked Jensen if he had somewhere else to spend the night.
“I thought you guys wanted a ‘no name’ kind of deal,” Jensen had protested, “No loose ends, right?”
Clay had not had an answer for that, and it had been up to him to kiss Jensen on the cheek, to pull him close and whisper in his ear.
“It’s not a loose end if you want to stay.”
And so he had. That night, and all the others that came after. Somehow, Cougar was never sure when or where, home had stopped being an empty apartment and a cold beer and started being long evenings on the couch with Jensen curled up between them, home cooked meals, and the sound of laughter in the bedroom.
All of these things and more flashed through his mind as he stood and Clay paced the family waiting room. The harsh lights of the hospital would give Clay a headache, if they hadn’t already, but Cougar had not bothered to take off his hat. Fluorescents couldn’t get you in the shade. It didn’t help his nerves, but at least he wouldn’t need to join his husband in a dark room with an ice pack over his eyes.
“Why has it been so long?” Clay growled, running a hand through his hair.
“There’s a whole human in him,” Cougar replied, “let them take their time.”
“What if something goes wrong?”
“Then we handle it.”
“No, I mean-”
“Stop it, Clay.” Cougar said, his voice sharp enough to whip Clay’s head around. He looked ready to throw a punch, but a moment later all the fight had drained out of him and he came eagerly into Cougar’s open arms.
“This wasn’t supposed to happen,” he said, voice muffled by Cougar’s flannel shirt. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this.”
“Nope.”
Clay sighed, but made no move to escape his embrace. It was as though admitting his fear had taken all the fire out of him, and when a nurse and two doctors came out of the OR looking like a bad omen, he hardly moved.
Steeling himself for the worst, Cougar nodded to the nurse, then looked at the doctors.
“How bad is it?”
They hadn’t expected a frontal assault, and it cut straight through the layers of medical bullshit he had expected. One of the doctors stepped forward, holding a clipboard out ahead of him.
“Bad,” he said simply. “Your child is in severe medical distress and so is your Omega.”
“His name is Jensen.”
“Right, uh…yes. Well, we need your consent to save the baby.”
The dismissive tone in the doctor’s voice made Cougar’s skin crawl, but he took the clipboard anyway, scanning through phrases like ‘waive right to life-saving treatment’ and ‘assume medical risks’ without really seeing them. The only thing on his mind was the glaring omission in the doctor’s statement.
“What will you have to do to save the baby?” He asked.
“Uhm…th-there are a variety of procedures we might attempt, sir, all of which are very time sensitive and-“
“If you save that baby, will he live?”
Shocked into silence, the doctor stood staring at him, his mouth hanging open. Slowly, quietly, summoning every ounce of patience in his body, Cougar asked the question again.
“I asked you if he will live.”
“Well, I-I’m sorry, I can’t make any promises, this is a very difficult situation, and usually prospective parents wishes are centred around the child, I-“
“We are not usual people,” Clay growled, lifting his head from Cougar’s shoulder at last. “Are you saying we have to pick between Jensen and the baby?”
The doctor paled, but nodded.
“Then you save our…you save Jensen,” Cougar said, his voice flat and hard. When the doctor hesitated he snapped, “Didn’t you say this was a time sensitive thing?”
The doctors flinched, scurrying away in a cloud of terrified confusion, but he had already turned his attention back to Clay, holding him tight as if he could fend off the whole world.
“How could I do this to him?” Clay whispered, his voice hitching as he fought back tears. “All that shit I was spouting about purpose, what the hell was I thinking?”
“Don’t do that,” Cougar murmured. He tucked his head, leaving a soft kiss on Clay’s neck. “Don’t go there, mi amor. We all did this together, there is no way any of us could have known. Jensen is tough, he’ll make it through this.”
A wordless, helpless sound was Clay’s only reply, and Cougar held him closer still, fighting back his own fear as he kept whispering in his husband’s ear. He would be okay. They would be okay. All of this would be okay. It had to be. There was no other way out of this stupid fucking hospital except with Jensen walking in between them, laughing and joking, with his dorky glasses and that big goofy grin. That was the only thing that would release the cold fist of terror that gripped his heart.
Partial release came sooner, when they were finally allowed into the recovery room to see Jensen looking up at them with sleepy, tear-filled eyes. He looked younger without his glasses, even softer and more vulnerable in the blue hospital gown that accentuated his pallor.
There was hardly enough room for Jensen in the bed, let alone all three of them, but they perched on either side of him, both too scared to even touch him.
“I’m sorry.”
Jensen’s whispered apology made Cougar want to burn the whole world to the ground and he took the idiot’s hand, raising it gently to his lips.
“What the fuck are you apologizing for?” Clay demanded as he brushed Jensen’s unruly bangs from his eyes.
“The baby,” Jensen’s voice broke and tears spilled from his eyes, “I tried to tell them, they wouldn’t listen, I’m sorry I couldn’t-“
“That’s enough,” Cougar said softly, squeezing Jensen’s hand. “They didn’t listen because we told them not to. There is no baby in the world that could ever mean more to us than you.”
“But you-I…I’m an omega, you-“
“No baby,” Clay repeated firmly. He bent down to kiss Jensen’s forehead, his own eyes still red from crying. “We just want you home safe with us.”
Jensen’s gaze flicked over to him and Cougar thought his heart would crack right out of his chest as he whispered, “Home?”
Cougar smiled, pressing his lips to the back of Jensen’s hand again. “You heard the man,” he said, swallowing back the roughness that had crept into his voice, “Let’s get you well. Let’s go home.”