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“Okay hold on, ‘cause I have a question no one else has been able to answer,” Duke said, interrupting Jason ranting to Stephanie about the use of different types of stitches depending on the injuries.
All of the bats are at the dinner table for the mandatory monthly dinner, listening to and allowing the metaphorically bloody conversation like the heathens they are. (According to Alfred. They have no idea what he’s talking about.)
“What’s up?” Dick asks.
“How the hell does he,” Duke swings his arm incredulously in Jason’s direction, “Know so much about medical practices. Aren’t you the violent one with like, a million scars that you clearly never let heal right.”
There’s a moment of silence as everyone turns that over in their heads before simultaneously turning to stare at Jason with an intensity that would probably scare the average… anything.
“Fucking hell, no wonder they hate it when we do that ,” Jason hisses under his breath.
“No no, Duke’s got a point.”
“How did you learn so much?”
“When?”
Jason glared at Duke, getting a only-sort of apologetic look back, “You can’t fool me, Duke. You are just as much of a menace-”
“Quiet,” Cass said and the table hushed, “How?”
Jason glanced around again before looking back at her, “Grandpa.”
“Wha-?”
“Grand-”
“Didn’t-”
“H U H?”
“Jason,” Bruce didn’t even have to pause as all the bats turned to Bruce to follow his reaction, “I thought you said you didn’t meet your grandparents before they died.”
Jason blinked slowly, confused, “...I didn’t.”
“...explain.”
“What am I supposed to be explaining? It was just grandpa, not an alien. Why are you guys are so tense?”
“If you didn’t meet your grandparents before they died, and you somehow learned medical stuff from your grandfather… What the hell are we missing here??” Stephanie demanded, not sure how she was supposed to end that sentence.
Jason looked at her with just as much confusion as he had just stared at Bruce with, “What do you mean ‘what are you missing?’”
“If they died before you ever got to meet them, how on earth did you learn from them?!”
Jason clearly came to a moment of clarity, “It wasn’t on earth, technically,” He said, leaning forward in his chair and crossing his arms on the edge of the table, grinning with a few too many teeth, “I died, remember?”
“Oh my God,” Tim whispered, briefly receiving a look of too-bright eyes with the Gothamite-smile.
Half of them were staring at Jason in horrified realization.
“I went to Heaven; Had wings and everything,” Jason’s grin widened as the table once again descended into chaos.
Duke did not know how to react to the quiet, “Not that I’m getting in next time.”
He is so not qualified for this shit. Bruce seemed to have heard it as well if the constipated look on his face said anything.
“Hold on, which grandfather,” Dick shouted over the roars.
Jason grimaced, glancing at Bruce, “Grandpa Wayne? Sorry, Bruce, I honestly thought you knew about it.”
“Why- How would he have known about that?!” Duke doesn’t remember Jason ever mentioning meeting their adoptive grandparents. Or Heaven.
“When I was changing some of the Martha-Wayne Foundation stuff I told him it was what they wanted. And I totally told you about me taking Grandma’s rifle. She told me she wanted me to put it to use instead of letting it ‘sit there and rot?’ Of course, she meant trap shooting but whatever.”
“...Holy shit.”
“He probably thought you meant ‘That’s what they would have wanted!’”
“No, they were pretty specific on everything. Like - down to the polishes she used to get for the gun - type of specific. In the ‘Martha Wayne told me she wanted to put another clinic similar to Leslie's in place in the Narrows and grandpa taught me how to do medical procedures at said clinic’ type of specific.”
“The Memorial Clinic?” Duke asks, “Bro how did you set that entire thing up in a week? Everyone was absolutely baffled when it opened that fast.”
“Grandma gave me some tips. Plus I used a building that already existed so I didn’t have to wait for them to set the concrete and wait for it to dry.”
“This is the most insane thing I’ve ever heard,” Dick said, voice sounding light enough there was a concern of him passing out.
“Wait, did you meet anyone else?” Stephanie was curious, okay?
“Oh yeah. Dude. I met Jane-Fucking-Austen. I think she got sick of me asking her questions because she started bringing other authors with her. One time it was F. Scott Fitzgerald!”
“You’re telling me… you died, died, and you decided you wanted to find authors, and you asked your favorite one so many questions, that she managed to get annoyed. In Heaven. Where there’s infinite time and you could have talked for like. Multiple hours straight and not even be hungry.
“Yes. Except we did eat food. Grandma and grandpa even taught me a recipe for cinnamon rolls that I genuinely think are the best I’ve ever had. No offense to Alfie, of course.”
“Right of course. A cinnamon roll recipe you learned in Heaven. Normal thing to say.”
Damian had been quiet the entire time, and he had a lot of emotions warring on his face, including betrayal, hurt, and confusion. Jason waits until most people have split into smaller conversations again, mostly about who they would track down when they died, before turning to the kid.
“Demon?” Jason watches with a frown as the League-language word causes Damian to pale slightly, “What’s wrong?”
“I- When I died, I went to Hell. I still have nightmares."
Jason shot out of his seat, pushing it back with a screeee - “I’m going to go fight a bitch.”
Jason stormed out of the house and wasn’t seen until three days later, all but appearing in the watchtower meeting room from behind batman. He had a necklace with a small metal dream catcher that he shoved around Robin’s neck and under his uniform. He was also spotted in a gold-black-red liquid.
“Hood, I require the reasoning behind-”
“I paid Death a visit. Dream gave me the necklace so I wouldn’t kill her.”
“You threatened to kill Death ?!” Hal sounds… distraught.
“I admire your bravery, but that seems like an unwise decision,” Wonder Woman says.
Jason hums, ruffles Robin’s hair, and slinks back into the shadows, “I'd do anything for a Bird. She can’t touch me, anyways.”
“Batman, your kids scare me.”
Damian feels the necklace against his chest and lets a Gothamite smile through, As they should.