Chapter Text
“Billiam Yoseph Ratson!” The red bandana guy laughed at Billy's fake name idea. His laugh echoed across the small back room of Claire’s. The Bandana guy started laughing so hard he almost fell over the package full of Unicorn Light Best Friend necklaces
“Yeah yeah laugh it up instead of coming up with some decent ideas!” Billy quipped while holding a paper full of fake information for his fake Identity.
Name: Billiam Yoseph Ratson
DOB: 4/1/2006, Age: 18
Barely even lying, it’s only four years off.
Father: _________ Deceased 2/15/2024
Mother:_________ Deceased 2/15/2024
Okay, that might be just like… nine years off- but this is a fake identity! It probably shouldn’t be just like Billy’s real identity.
“Hah! Thanks, little man I needed a laugh” the Bandada guy wheezed out, finally calming down. It wasn’t even that funny. Bandana pulled out one of the unicorn diaries and started writing with the matching rainbow sparkle pen. “Okay ideas, William is basic you can keep that. Your middle is Joseph so what’s another Bible guy?”
“Well chronologically, right after Joseph’s story in Genesis, Exodus starts and we get the story of Moses-“ Solomon rambled off in Billy’s head. Having gods and kings in your head is so silly sometimes. Who knew that Solomon was just a huge Bible nerd?! “Everyone did Billy, I’m afraid that I wrote a whole Song in the book called, you know, Proverbs. Also, it was not referred to as the Bible in my time-“
“Would Moses work?” Billy tried to ignore the king within his head. Bandana guy wrote the name down “Yeah that works, now the last name… with this one, we might wanna make it a bit different from Batson. Also, it needs to be a real last name, no one Ratson, Katson, etc.”
“Then when Moses met his brother Aaron, God informed him-“
“Aarons? That’s a real last name right?” Billy watched Bandana close the diary and head to the printer.
“Welcome to the world William Moses Aarons”
The Backroom door was kicked open and a furious young woman was looking straight at them. Please don’t let this be another mercenary.
“Benny. your shift started thirty minutes ago!” Thank god just an underpaid Claire’s employee.
Bandana sighed “I’ll give you a cut if you take over my shift”
Now Billy was left staring at his Fake ID with a brand new name, and if this interview went well, a brand new job. Billy was terrified, he’d never done a job interview before or even been in a house this fancy before.
He’d gone to Mary’s mansion so many times and it still felt like a new world. The Wayne house was like a completely different universe millions of light years away. Billy didn’t even feel fit to be in their fancy waiting room. The chair he was sitting on was probably worth more than his life.
Billy froze up, back straight when the door was slowly opened. An older refined man popped out. He looked very posh while also looking like a nice grandpa. Like he’d give his grandkids cookies all while educating them on what fork to use to eat it.
“William Aarons?” Posh Grandpa walked towards him and extended a hand. “Yes sir, that’s me” Billy stood up and took the gentleman’s hand.
“Alfred Pennyworth, good to meet your acquaintance. If you would follow me please” Mr.Pennyworth let go of his hand and led him to the next room. Billy pulled on his collar, he wasn’t used to clothes having collars and ties. He borrowed his extravagant outfit from his sister Mary, it’s one of her butler's old outfits. Billy was just thankful he didn’t need to steal anything.
The room he was led to was a small office, Billy sat in the chair opposing Mr.Pennyworth. Billy considered asking his patron gods for advice but doubted they would have help in getting a butler apprentice job. It was a great job even if it wasn’t what Billy envisioned himself doing.
To be honest Billy never really thought about what his future job would be, he was too focused on surviving as Billy and doing his job as Cap to think about the future. Now that Billy was being forced to run from Fawcett, he decided it was time to finally do something as Billy. Get a job. He’s fourteen now so if he acts mature he’s sure he can pass as a younger-looking eighteen-year-old!
“It’s good to meet you William” Mr.Pennyworth reached for reading glasses to read Billy’s very false resume. “Billy is fine Mr.Pennyworth” Billy smiled but he was sure it looked much more like a grimace.
Mr.Pennyworth did a tight-lipped smile in response “Very well then Billy, you may call me Alfred”. Billy noticed he was picking at his fingernails, was that bad manners? Would somehow his hands indicate he had never been a butler before? Do Butlers have proper hand movement rules?!
“Billy, I have been the sole Butler of Wayne Manor for over thirty years. But in my aging years, I find myself not being able to do all my daily tasks with the required precision. I have interviewed many candidates, but truthfully I do not believe they were good fits… I view the Wayne family as my own, I dedicate my everything to their safety and comfort. I want my apprentice to have the same dedication. While I don’t expect you to get some ‘devotion’ out of nowhere for a random family. I do expect you to be trustworthy, where I can trust you to do your best to protect and watch over the Wayne’s. Do you believe you are fit for this role Billy?
No probably not. “Yes sir I do, while I admit I know little of the Wayne family I do promise to uphold your values. As a Butler, I would prioritize doing my job well- that is to say, I would do all the things you say need to be done. Like- ensuring safety, and doing my best to serve them well! …and you! Serve you very well Mr.Pennyworth- Alfred!” Billy saluted, sweating.
Well, he could kiss this job goodbye, maybe he could hide in his room at the watchtower for a while?
Alfred read through Billy’s resume again “For being so young you have many years of experience in cleaning. Tell me how an eighteen-year-old can have eight years of janitorial job experience?”
Luckily for Billy, he gave ‘William Moses Aarons’ a whole convoluted backstory. “My mother ran a cleaning business and every day I would go with her as her assistant, I got paid a wage and everything. I also technically have years of experience being an apprentice!” Billy chimed, trying to escape his doomed fate of hiding out in Mary’s basement.
“Interesting” Alfred set the resume down to stare Billy down. “Where are you from?”
“Oh, I’m from a small town in Oklahoma! It's so tiny- I’m sure you’ve never heard of it” Billy rubbed the back of his neck.
“Well you’ve certainly come a long way young man, I hope Gotham isn’t too much of a culture shock for you” Alfred took off his reading glasses to reach for a paper in one of the desk drawers.
“I’d like to inform you that we do offer religious holidays, such as Yom Kippur, Passover, Shavuot, Hanukkah, etc,” Alfred mumbled as he dug through the drawer.
All of those are Jewish holidays, right? Why would Alfred think Billy was Jewish? “Well Aarons is a primarily Jewish surname” ‘ … Solomon, YOU DON'T MENTION THAT TILL NOW?! I CAN'T PRETEND TO BE JEWISH! … REALLY? NOW YOU WANNA STOP YOUR NEVER ENDING RAMBLING?!’
“Ah, here it is. Billy this is a Nondisclosure agreement you must sign to get the position as Butler apprentice. By signing this agreement you agree to not disclose the private matters of the Wayne family-“ Billy couldn’t hear the rest from all the blood rushing to the head. There was no way he got the job. No way. Mr. Alfred bought it. “Now I wouldn’t say that-“ Shut it, Solomon! Not even Solomon's ‘wisdom’ could bring Billy down.
Alfred slid the contract across the desk and Billy did read it before he signed it. There was nothing crazy just don’t sell info to the press or talk about personal family stuff, that all seemed reasonable.
Alfred took back the signed paper, raised and lent his hand out. Billy mirrored his now boss and shook the old man’s hand.
“Billy, if suitable would you start work tomorrow?” Alfred took his hand back and straightened his blazer. “No yeah, that would be great sir!” Billy saluted like a Boy Scout, he did that a lot as cap so it kind of just translated over to Billy. It was probably weird but it was so ingrained into him he couldn’t stop.
“Very well, then if you’d please wait here I’ll get the arrangements to your servant's quarters” Alfred smiled softly and left the spotless office.
‘OH YEAH SCREW YOU ZEUS WHO SAID THIS WAS A BAD IDEA! GUESS WHO GOT A LEGAL JOB!!’ Billy thought as pumped his fist up and freely spun around in his chair. Thunderstruck so close that Billy almost knocked Alfred’s desk over so he proceeded to calm the fuck down and remembered what happened to every other guy in history who challenged Zeus. ‘Sorry Zeus, please don’t stop being my patron’ “Don’t do it again”.
Besides that Billy was sure that this would all turn out fine, Alfred 100% bought it!!!
Damian leaned on Pennyworth's chair as his butler searched the database for a kid named William.
“I did not buy a single thing he said”.