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Imelda shifted, discomforted, as the silence after her barbed jibe stretched on indefinitely. Jae’s deep brown eyes stared into her, unblinking, until Imelda broke contact and focused somewhere over her right shoulder.
With a tight rein on her voice, Jae stiffly and firmly said, “I. Am not a bad flyer. I don’t like races. I don’t. I don’t like people looking at me.”
After another all too long pause the odd Hufflepuff grabbed her broom and left the pitch, leaving an uncomfortable air in her wake.
Jae could fight. Even before this strange power bubbled up through her veins she could throw a punch and cast a Flipendo. And it didn’t bother her. It felt like it should bother her that it didn’t bother her, but it just, was more an absence of feeling than anything. The day prior, when she was finding some helmet and came across the corpse of an ashwinder felled by Inferi she could feel it. The disquieting idea that she should feel, something. But she moved on and killed a camp of more ashwinders and the most concern she felt was at her low stash of wiggenweld. So she made a grocery list and felt better.
This however, the feeling of students whom she had never managed to feel connected with, was in fact an outsider still
(and maybe one would think that actually attending her classes would help with this but there was so much free reign and so much to explore and see and how could she justify doing the same thing over and over and falling back into that absolute pit of nothingness),
all staring and judging and watching her fail because she really was no good with pressure outside of deadly situations.
She felt something. An inner rage, a humiliation.
She’d rather wish that she felt nothing instead.
It took effort to reach back inside herself and pull out that polite voice that pleased professors and made her guardians satisfied and to just walk away .
Sometimes(Always) she was aware of how fragile her fellow students were. How easy it would be to whisper under her breath and twist her wrist.
Oh gosh professor, she got struck by lightning on the quidditch pitch? Well that’s just awful.
A spine breaks so easily.
“Try talking to them. You look at them with the eyes of a caged beast and they can sense it.”
Her eyes slid to glance at the man leaning against the column of stone as she passed, barely acknowledging the professor with a quick huff of breath.
The scrape of his feet and tap of his cane lackadaisically followed her, “Some beasts do speak you know.”
“Some beasts even have names,” slipped out between her teeth, blood scenting across her tongue.
Sparks erupted across the linen of her uniform to lash out against the glancing blow to her shoulder. She whipped around, flipping her staff out to full size and glowing with her barrage of spells at the ready and froze .
Aesop Sharp wasn’t even looking at her. His predatory gaze was almost sparkling as he examined his smoking, still sparking, cane with wonder.
“Well,” His dark eyes pierced her, “That’s interesting.”
He toasted his cane against her winged staff in a conspiratorial gesture and disappeared down a side corridor as the last of the glow faded.
Jae bit down on the inside of her cheek instead of screaming. Glaring down at her staff it shrunk in on itself and slipped inside her sleeve.
As fearsome as wielding it made her feel in the midst of battle, in the middle of a school hallway it only bumped heads and elicited glares.
Just one more way she was different.
She wouldn't ever give it up though, much as she imagined the average student wouldn’t dream of giving up their wand.
Heralding nightfall, a chill started settling over the stonework. Scowling deeply, Jae circled through the Floo network to avoid as many students as possible, throwing on a heavy coat from their dorm and preparing to head out to the woodlands.
Flopping backwards on the bed for a moment, Jae took a second to breathe. They turned their head sideways into the heavy quilt and stared across at the other plush beds with their owners' things strewn about.
Have they ever met their roommates? Idly she wondered if she shared any classes with them.
Probably right?
How could they stand to be here? The castle was large, but already she had explored so much of it and it had been, what, a month? Maybe, since she had arrived? In five years how well would you know these corridors? And yet, curiously the only time she would see others is in Hogsmeade.
Beneath her awareness, as she mused, sleep crept up on her and pulled her under.
Jae resurfaced to the rustling of trunks and light pleasant chatter, alien and unwelcome surroundings.
She snapped upright and quickly assessed the room.
Unbothered, her heretofore unseen roommates giggled and continued preparing for their day, one even calling out,
“Good morning, Heartsfield!”
Another, optimistically, inquired, “Are you ready to go to Potions? We can all walk together if you are!”
She stared uncomprehendingly at Girl #1 and Girl #2, then down at her dark woolen skirt and thick sweater. Peeling off the quilted overcoat she stood up, giving the fabric a rough shake in a paltry attempt to dislodge the wrinkles, “Sure.”
As if she had enthusiastically returned their greeting and pledged bonds of eternal friendship, the two girls beamed and grabbed their satchels. “Excellent! I think this is the first time we get to walk together!”
Girl #1.
Perhaps her last foray into a spider den left her with some delayed release venom, because surely intense hallucinations was the only excuse for the day she was having.
Sandwiched between the two chattering girls, Jae was escorted from the kitchens, across the castle, and down to the dungeons.
Once they crossed over into the classroom, there was still no reprieve. Blonde ‘P-something’ Girl #1 and brunette ‘maybe states with an S’ Girl #2 set up shop on cauldrons to either side of Jae, who had firmly settled into the hallucination theory and was just along for the ride, occasionally humming in what she thought were the correct locations to the deliberate pauses of conversation.
She curiously gazed around, seeing much the same group of students who were in attendance during her first, and so far only, Potions class.
She cocked her head, do they show up every day ? How curious. How do they get anything done?
The chalk picking itself up and scratching out a recipe on the board signaled the beginning of class.
Jae pulled ingredients out of her bag and dutifully began prepping, as one does in class.
“Jae,” ‘P-something’ whispered.
She shrugged and continued chopping.
“Jae!” she hissed again.
Finally she glanced up and Girl #1 whispered quickly but not unkindly, “We have to wait for Professor Sharp before starting!”
Jae stared at her. “Why.”
“To stop students from killing their fellow classmates.” Professor Sharp’s voice cut through the classroom, an Accio pulling a root through the air. “Weasley, so help me if you try to throw one more experiment into that cauldron, I will take your hands.”
Weasley, Gareeth-Garet- Something like that sputtered, “Take my, you mean ban me from the labs?!”
Stone-Faced Professor Sharp replied, “Take your hands.” Turning towards her table, he commented, “Miss Heartsfield, how unusual to have you join us. Perhaps we’ll see you again in the near future.”
In a similar nonplussed tone, she responded, “Hmm, maybe.”
A peel of laughter escaped Girl #2, but cut off abruptly as she seemed to quickly realize that Jae was not joking.
The professor evaluated her, a mocking smile just barely gracing his lips, “And perhaps in time, I’ll even see you in the proper uniform. Baby steps, I suppose.”
Jae simply made a face at his retreating back to the snort of Girl #1, and they went back to the recipe with concentration.
To her consternation, the rest of the day proceeded as such, with her being shepherded around the castle by her two sheepdogs, and meeting the surprised face of the different professors in turn. Which was odd, there was no way they actually expected her to arrive every day, did they? That sounds absolutely unreasonable and constricting.
Confusingly, near the end of the day, when she should have been watching the sunset on an outcropping in the highlands, scarfing down a sandwich, Jae was herded to the large hall from the beginning of her school year. The tables were laden with food, students, and professors. Was there a holiday today? Or was there some unspoken custom for food to be in this hall? She had been almost under the impression that they were in charge of their own diets. Why else would there be kitchen entrances readily available?
The whole day she had been feeling unmoored, questioning and unsure. She really had thought that she had figured out the general rhythm of this place, but she was thrown off by this whole day. Just, how did they know? When and where to go and how often. Perhaps this was a vital part of the first year she had never gotten to experience. Or is this normal in schools? She supposed she wouldn't know. She did her assignments when assigned and has always been free to fill her time as she saw fit, so long as it did not bother with the day to day operations of her guardians.
For the first time since arrival at Hogwarts Jae felt an acute sense of loss. For something she was unable to even attempt to name.
Surrounded by students, sitting between her roommates, and feeling more alone than before.
Girl #1 nudged her, pointed to herself casually, “Priscilla.” Priscilla reached across her to grab a bun and dropped one on Jae’s plate. “Do you have any allergies?”
Never before had Jae felt so much like a cat bristling, wondering what in the hell was going on.
“No.” Food was food and she knew enough not to waste it. She slowly picked it up and tore little bits off with her fingertips. In a sound it had almost forgotten how to make, her stomach rumbled questionably.
Girl #2 started grabbing plates and dropping slices of steaming meat pie upon them. She handed the plate back to Jae and stared into her eyes, “Sammy.”
Heat flooded into her face and she ducked her head to focus on her meal.
Priscilla and Sammy. Alright. They weren't bad roommates. Just…unusual.
Something small and delicate started to flutter in her chest, and a smile threatened to break out.
Furiously she stuffed a bite of pie into her mouth. The salty juice shocked her tongue and she sat for a moment in stillness.
Ah, was this how food was supposed to taste?
Blinking rapidly, she ate faster, willing herself to block out all else amid the burning behind her eyes.
She was beginning to become increasingly perturbed, however, by how the back of her neck prickled in warning of being watched. She knew. She knew who it was and yet she still had to check.
Placing her fork down, not even afforded a moment of rest now, she snuck a glance behind her to be captured in the burning focused gaze of Sharp.
He didn’t even have the decency to look away or act abashed in his attention. Just a smirk.
Jae had formed very little concrete impressions of her professors but was well on her way of classifying the ex-auror as an asshole .
On Saturday of that week Jae eyed Priscilla and Sammy’s sleeping forms warily. It was a common weekend. Surely, they would have nowhere to shepherd her about. As their still forms remained in sleep, no alarm buzzing about, she gave a silent sigh of relief and slipped from the room.
Stalking quickly down the halls, Jae could see one of the many exits approaching. She would have Floo-ed immediately but in just a week she had grown soft and gotten used to regular meals, and had to steal down to the kitchens before dashing out. The weight of extra food weighing her bag made her feel some sort of unpointed guilt.
The door pushed open and the early morning mist had not yet disappointed as she crunched over the semi frozen grass. Already she could feel life and fire rushing through her, burning away the lackadaisical fluff that had insulated her for the past week.
Maybe others could afford to float and study and while away their time, but not her. That only beckoned death. She had not gotten this far to die with her back turned.
“Protego! Stupify!” Without even looking, she blocked and whirling around furiously brought the sharp edge of her staff down to jab at the offender.
The head glanced off the edge of a shield, the silver shimmer almost imperceptible in the air.
The back of her knee got kicked in, her legs folded and she hit the ground hard, hands taking the brunt of her weight and splitting open on the sharp rocks hiding between the long grass. Something thin and pointy and the tinge of magic unmistakably meant a wand was jabbing into the soft of the back of her neck.
She froze.
Breathing steadily she dropped her forehead to the grass, now wet from the heat of the fight, and intentionally relaxed. Her shoulder blades bowed forward, and arms lowered her to the ground. The heavy dense weight pinning her to the ground didn’t shift or relax, and the wand burrowed deeper to the point where Jae was nearly certain it had broken the skin.
“Please do keep your spark under control. I would hate to have to do irreversible damage.”
Bastard. He would love to do so.
Jae curled her fingers into the loose top soil and ground out, “Fuck off!”
Her ‘spark’, the ancient magic , ripped through her, arcing around her in bolts, surely striking the man atop her, burning his flesh and searing his bones.
Fuck him.
Her heart stuttered and her vision darkened suddenly, as a pulse emitted from the wand at point blank distance and a warning growled in her ear, “There’s only so many times you can use the same trick.”
Jae came to a hand petting her hair and sun warming her.
Her mouth tasting like the floor of the Hog’s Head, she struggled to sit up, spitting, “What happened?”
Sharp raised his gaze from the tome on his lap and grinned at her. “You tried to run,” he replied happily.
This was probably the most content and relaxed Jae, or probably any student, has ever seen him. If she was to tell Priscilla that she had seen him smile, genuinely, she would surely send for the mental ward.
Fighting through the haze weighing down every thought, “Does assaulting underage students bring you that much joy? No wonder Black hired you.”
He hummed, head tilted, the line of his lips staying happily relaxed. His eyes reminded Jae of a contented dog kept on a short leash.
With venom lacing her every syllable, “Has your owner not been playing fetch with you?”
His teeth bared in a grotesque imitation of a grin, “Are you offering?”
She laid back on the grass, peering up at him through half closed lids, trying to collect all the pieces of her, “Are you asking me to collar you?”
Naked hope in his eyes, holding the moment in a fragile grip, he asked, “Would you?”
Jae tried to imagine him with a thick band of leather around his neck, a wolf on a leash.
It fit him better than any of his three piece suits did.
She held out a hand and he helpfully crawled forward, placing his neck within the clutch of her grasp. Her nails curled and dug, branding him with crescent moons. The blood beading and breaking a trail down his clavicle was a prettier brace than any diamonds would be.
Sharp’s eyes had slipped closed, completely at peace with the moment.
Birdsong broke through the clearing and shattered whatever beast was consuming her mind. She snatched her hand back in sudden shame and stumbled to her feet.
The professor continued to watch her calmly, and she did not feel safe or protected, but like she was being asked for a command.
In the pause, she watched a red stain bloom on the collar of his pressed shirt, and Jae swiftly exited without another word.
Sammy held a curl up to Jae’s face, “So, are we thinking completely back or like a halfsies?”
Jae met the eyes of her roommate through the mirror they were seated in front of and she contemplated her dark auburn locks, finally crinkling her brows and shrugging. “I don’t know, we’re just meeting Priscilla and your friends in Hogsmeade. I usually just have it pulled back from my face so it doesn’t get in the way.”
Sammy cried dramatically and flung herself around Jae’s shoulders, tangling her fingers in Jae’s long strands and causing an absolute mess.
Sammy wailed,“Your hair is so beautiful and you don’t even care! Besides!” She poked Jae in the cheek
(After Jae spent the better part of Saturday chasing down poachers, and apparently missing a grand day of Hogsmeade and homework that the girls had planned, they had decided that the kid gloves could come off and Jae was quickly introduced to the world of sleepovers and now apparently, makeovers, as well as copious amounts of poking, prodding, and high fiving and hugging, staples of friendship, she was assured)
“Hopefully these will be your friends as well, and we might as well make a good impression!”
Jae laughed at her, “They know what I look like.”
Sammy wiped an imaginary spot on Jae’s cheek away with her thumb, “Maybe so but Evanscoing poacher blood can only improve oneself.”
Jae flicked some of her tea at her, eliciting a squeal, “I’ve seen your Charms work, and I would like you to keep your Evanscoing far away from me, please.”
Privately, Jae was marveling at this easy camaraderie. She wondered if this is what normal looked like. It felt so similar to watching other students parade around the castle that it made her ache. And this was sudden, and perhaps she was a project or a bet of some sort, but that was alright. She knew on the best day, she was half feral. She would take what she could get and maybe learn how to behave on the way.
As Sammy hemmed and hawed over the best way to combine braids and ribbons that wouldn’t get immediately decimated in the intense winds sure to accompany their trip, Jae hesitantly asked, “What does it mean if a… boy asks you to get him a collar?”
Sammy frowned in concentration “Does he have a pet?”
“Ah,” Jae paused. She had no idea. From the weird energy permeating the entire interaction she doubted the collar was for a pet but, “I don’t know.”
“Well, get an adjustable collar while we’re out today and hope for the best. You can’t help it if he wasn’t specific” She patted the back of Jae’s head satisfactorily, “And besides, only do the things you want to, you can always tell him to go screw himself!”
“Sammy!”
She giggled, “What!”
Jae never had what she would describe as a warm home life. Mutual disinterest, if she had to describe it. There has never been a time in her life where feeling unsure and alone she had reached out to hold the hand of her guardian and found it waiting. She has always been acutely aware of how to stand on her own and if need be, to fall as well.
So perhaps she wasn’t scared so to say, maybe she clung to Sammy’s hand as they entered the pub out of novelty more than anything else.
Sammy strode confidently towards a bustling table, Poppy waving at them enthusiastically while Amit and Imelda had a fierce discussion refereed by Priscilla.
Jae tried to grin jovially and return the greeting, firmly not thinking of how she was planning to shatter Imelda’s spine earlier.
After the rough introductions, Poppy clapped her hands together, “I am so excited that all of us roommates are finally together! You guys looked like you were having so much fun this week!”
“You could have joined us but you keep slipping away to work on some mystery project, ” Priscilla accused.
Poppy flushed and shrugged, smiling good naturedly but clearly unwilling to divulge her secret.
Soon enough the topic meandered to where to go next and Sammy threw in, “I think as long as we can make a quick pit stop at Brood & Peck that we’ll just tag along wherever.”
Jae threw her a grateful look, and Sammy returned it with a conspiratorial wink.
Being one of the few stores left that she had not explored, Jae found herself surprised by the vast options available.
All colors of the rainbow, leathers, fabrics, patterns, the most intricate to the most basic. Feeling suddenly anxious and embarrassed, as if anyone could tell the true reason she came simply by glancing at her, she chose a simple well made leather collar and rushed to the counter.
The proprietor rang up her purchase and asked if she would like a matching accessory, so that you could be prepared for all occasions.
Stifling a laugh, Jae agreed and shoved all of her purchases in her satchel, hurrying to rejoin the group, and perhaps someday, her friends.
After the last student left the lab, Jae carefully rose from her seat, her bag neatly packed away and left next to her stool, and approached the head of the class.
Without a word she looked up at the professor and Sharp tilted his head down to meet her gaze.
She considered, he really was rather tall. She supposed she had no hope other than to manage it on her own terms.
“Sit,” Jae commanded.
With the bemused look of a half domesticated wolf following commands out of curiosity, Sharp folded himself down into his chair, one long leg crossed over the other, every inch still the predator.
In for a knut, in for a galleon.
Placing a hand on his knee for leverage, Jae seated herself in the same chair, climbing the man beneath until she had seated herself in his lap, hand woven around his neck.
Sharp murmured, “Do you know what you’re doing?”
Breathily she replied, almost heady at the stretch of unknown rapidly unfolding beyond her, “Not at all.”
The leather she had wound around her wrist now was being carefully tied around his neck, a bow for her new toy. Sharp held himself absolutely still, hands digging into his armrests to keep himself from any movement.
Jae leant back, admiring her work. The collar was not tight enough to dig into his skin, but close enough to slightly move every time he swallowed. As taught by the shopkeep she slid two fingers underneath the collar to test the fit, pulling teasingly.
The crack of wood split through the room and suddenly she had two large hands gripping her hips bruisingly and hot breath panting in her ear, “Careful,” Sharp hissed.
Jae’s heart beating furiously at this development, she tried to smile slyly up at him, probably showing too many sharp teeth. “No.”
She pressed in closer for the finishing touch and a clink of metal on metal chimed.
Satisfied, she settled back onto his solid thighs and grinned maniacally, laughter clutched behind her teeth.
A thinner length of leather wound around her hand, its tail attached to the perfectly fitting collar.
She pressed the handle to her lips and with laughter in her voice said to him, “I thought you wanted to go for a walk?”
She felt the hands digging into her hips over her skirt, each finger pressing deep into her soft flesh and a deep strangled groan fought its way out of the man beneath her.
She was suddenly yanked forward and pressed down as his hips canted up, a yelp caught in her throat as something hot and hard grinded into her.
Deep in her belly a new feeling fluttered fast, some kind of aching urgent need, but she had barely any time to evaluate it as she was surrounded by him.
Sharp panted brokenly into her neck, nipping and biting along the column of her throat, but not breaking skin, as he pushed and pulled her against the frantic motion of him thrusting up into her. His rhythm stuttered and he collapsed into her, chest heaving.
Jae stayed still, flexing her fingers around the leash still clenched in her grip, feeling oddly cheated. She had some idea of what happened but it felt very one sided. She wasn’t even sure if she wanted to participate, but now that the moment passed, disappointment had settled upon her.
After a few moments Sharp lifted his head, face wrecked, flushed and eyes shining, and with a hoarse voice, he growled, “I told you to be careful. ”
The sight of him so desperate and destroyed burnt through her, setting every nerve ending alight, making touch painful, but at the same time not enough.
Jae yanked the leash upwards, the collar digging into his neck, causing a flush to rapidly overtake Sharp, the veins pumping furiously and she tsked in a disappointed tone, “Such low endurance. Maybe you should be put down.”
Sharp panted through the strain on his neck, “Please.”
“Please what?”
His whole body shuddered, but stayed so frustratingly tethered by self control in this moment. “Please let me touch you.”
Her bout of confidence burnt through, but she still so uncomfortably aroused. Jae released her hold on the leash and whispered, “Okay.”
With a sob of relief, Sharp crashed his lips down on her unexpectedly, working her mouth open with his much more talented one as his fingers slid underneath the hem of her skirt and up her thigh.
He growled against her mouth, the feral creature he was, “I’m going to make you come on my fingers, and then on my cock. And then I’m going to belong to you forever.”
Jae laughed into his mouth which turned into a gasp and then a groan as the pads of his fingers circled nerve clusters she didn't know existed before.
“ Oh. ” She panted between kisses, “Did the dog imprint?”
His fingers curled and entered her swiftly, stretching her in a new way. Jae threw her head back and moaned.
Sharp growled and bit the junction of her neck and shoulder, and the pain paired with being filled pushed her over the edge. Jae’s eyes had fallen shut unconsciously and starbursts danced behind her lids.
As Jae came down from the high, sounds started filtering back into her consciousness. Dazed, she kissed Sharp herself for the first time.
“Wow.”
Without giving them a hair's breadth of space, Sharp replied, “Just wow?”
Curiously, yet boneless and exhausted in a new way, everything felt like a new way today, she carded her fingers through his hair, to a muffled pleased hum. "Well, I can only guess it gets better from here.”
From this close Jae could watch as the faintest pink tinge spotted Sharp’s cheeks and the tips of his ears as he drawled, “Well lovely, that was the hardest I’ve ever come in my life and I’m not sure I have another one in me right now.”
Jae thought she could live with that. Even during and after that singular most intense experience of her life she wasn’t sure if she really wanted him inside of her.
“Alright.” She patted his chest lightly and nodded.
Letting out a laugh of disbelief Sharp removed his fingers from her and asked, “You’ve gotten what you came here for and now you’re leaving me again?”
Jae started the business of getting her shaking legs to support her weight so she could slide off of him, “Hmm? Oh yes. I’ve been told that it's imperative for me to show my face before bed. I don’t make the rules.”
Jae unwound the collar from Sharp, reproaching him with a stern glance when he whined. “You can’t walk around with this on you, deviant.”
Then, Jae left Sharp behind, starting the decently long trek to her common room.
To be faced with another problem all together.
Sammy let out an ear piercing screech upon her entry to their room and turned to squeal to Priscella at a decibel almost outside the human range of hearing, “I told you!”
Sammy sidled up to Jae and poked at her neck, who recoiled with a hiss at the jolt of pain that radiated, “So he liked the collar, huh?”
“Who?” Jae tried weakly.
Poppy squealed, clutching a pillow, “Your mystery boy, of course! Tell us everything!”
Jae gaped and her face burned, thighs clenching. Everything?
Priscilla towed her to sit on her plush pink quilt, “Obviously not like the gory details but did you have fun? Are you seeing him again? Are you dating?”
“Um yes, probably, and I don’t think so?”
Jae had been introduced to sleepovers, makeovers, girl talk and now the dreaded post date interrogation. She couldn’t help but think that this has been the best month ever.