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Newt entered his and Thomas’ apartment, closing the door behind him. He was exhausted after a long day of work and he wanted to go to bed but it would be a couple more hours until Thomas got home from work and, even with the nightlight in their room, he would prefer not to sleep alone.
Newt had always been afraid of the dark ever since he was a little kid. It was dark and he couldn’t see anything. Anyone could creep up on you in the dark and anything could happen without you even expecting it. Everyone around him had always found his fear unreasonable. The only person who had ever understood it was his little sister, Sonya.
Newt and Sonya didn’t grow up with the best childhood. Their mother died when they were both very young and their father was almost always at home, and when he wasn’t he was out drinking. Their father would always be “punishing” Newt and Sonya even if they did nothing wrong.
These punishments consisted of screaming and yelling at them while beating them until they were bleeding and sometimes he would keep going until they were unconscious. As much as he loved hurting Sonya, Newt was his favorite to punish. His favorite punishment? The closet, the true root of his fear. The dark closet that Newt would be locked in for hours at a time.
That was why he never slept alone if he could help it. He felt safe and calm when he was in Thomas’ arms, even in the dark. So what if people thought he was weird, or clingy, or childish. He didn’t care. All he cared about was feeling safe and being with Thomas.
Newt walked towards his and his boyfriend’s bedroom and set his things down in the corner. He changed into a t-shirt and sweatpants, grabbing a book off the bookshelf before heading over to the kitchen. He grabbed an apple off the counter and then sat on the couch in the living room, opening the book and peacefully eating his apple while he read.
A couple of hours later Newt looked at his phone to check the time. ‘8:15. Tommy will be home soon.’ He read another couple chapters before setting down his book and standing up to make dinner. He didn’t even make it three feet away from the couch before the power went out, making the entire apartment go completely black. He can’t see anything.
All of a sudden his heart started beating faster and it was now difficult to breathe. He grabbed his phone out of his pocket to turn on the flashlight only to discover it was dead. ‘Damn it!’
He was startled by a slamming noise coming from outside which then made him drop his phone. The clattering noise from his phone just made things worse. Memories started flooding through his head. Memories of his father and that stupid, stupid closet.
He is thirteen. He’s standing in the kitchen where his father is screaming the house down. “How can you be so stupid? A B+? You seriously can only get a B+? Of course, I just had to be cursed with you! I was getting all A’s at your age! You worthless piece of shit!”
”I’m sorry, I’ll do better next time.” Newt whimpers. His voice is small and he’s obviously trying not to cry. That only makes things worse. His father roughly grabs his arm and drags him through the house to the closet.
He is shoved into the closet with so much force that he loses his balance and falls onto the floor. His father says “Be silent and maybe, just maybe, I’ll let you out before morning.” Newt was not let out until morning.
Now he’s fourteen. Sonya had accidentally dropped a glass causing glass to shatter all over the floor. Newt is standing a couple feet away from Sonya’s left, while their father is standing in front of her holding a belt. “You stupid bitch! Why can’t you do anything right? All you do is break things and hurt people!”
Their father starts hitting her with the belt making her fall onto the floor in the pile of broken glass. Sonya is now covered in cuts and there is blood on the floor. Newt runs in front of her not caring about the glass on the floor. “Stop! Father, please, hurt me, do what ever you want to me! Just don’t hurt Sonya.”
”I’ll just punish both of you then.” Their father says and starts beating both of his children.
Now he’s sixteen. His father had caught him with his boyfriend and was most definitely angry about it. He’s trying to hide in his room but his father finds him nonetheless. “I can’t fucking believe you! First you have to be mentally ill but now you’re a faggot? Why did I have to end up with a son like you!”
He starts beating him with his belt, continuing until he is bleeding and barely conscious. After that he’s put back in the closet. He was finally let out the next evening and sent to bed with no food.
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Thomas had just pulled into the parking lot outside his apartment building when the power went out. Shit! Newt should be home by now and Thomas knew he was probably terrified. He quickly grabbed his things and got out of his car, slamming the door shut and locking it behind him.
Since the power was out he had to climb the stairs. Of course they just had to be on the third floor. Thomas ran up the stairs as fast as he could. Once he reached the door to their apartment he quickly unlocked the door and opened it, not even taking a moment to catch his breath.
He entered the apartment, closing the door behind him and dropping his things next to the door. That’s when he heard it. There were quiet whimpers coming from the living room. They were so quiet Thomas could barely hear it, but he knew immediately who it was and why they were upset.
He quickly headed off to the living room and found him. His heart broke at the sight of it. Newt. His boyfriend had backed himself against the wall. Newt was hyperventilating and sobbing. His phone was lying on the floor a couple feet in front of him and his hands were clamped over his ears and he was hitting his forehead against his knees which were pulled up against his chest.
Thomas quickly grabbed his own phone out of his pocket and turned on the flashlight, turning the phone with the flashlight pointing up so that the light filled the room. Then he cautiously walked towards his boyfriend, sitting in front of him placing his phone on the floor with the flashlight still pointing upwards.
He slowly placed his hand on Newt’s knee and gently stroked it with his thumb. “Newt. Baby, can you hear me?” No response. “It’s Thomas. Can you hear me? It’s just Tommy.” That seemed to reach him causing him to slowly lift his head and look directly at his boyfriend. The blonde’s face was red, his eyes were puffy, and there were large tears falling down his cheeks.
Newt was still breathing rapidly but he managed to say ”Tommy?” He said it in a way that almost sounded as if he didn’t recognize him. The brunette nodded and that was all it took for the older boy to collapse onto Thomas, hiding his face in his chest and clinging onto the back of his shirt as if his life depended on it, causing his knuckles to go white. Thomas wrapped his arms around the other almost immediately and started comforting the boy.
“You’re okay, you’re safe. Just breathe.” Thomas carded one hand through Newt’s hair as he sobbed into his chest, the other hand drawing calming circles into his back. “You’re okay. I’ve got you, you’re safe. It’s just us. Just you and me. Newt and Tommy.” Newt’s breathing wasn’t calming down and it was starting to worry Thomas.
”Newt, love, I know you’re scared but you need to breathe.” The blonde shook his head and choked out a quick “Can’t.”
”Yes you can just breathe with me, okay?” Newt nodded and Thomas started exaggerating deep breaths, still rubbing calming circles into Newt’s back and stroking his hair. Newt tried to mimic Thomas’ breathing and eventually he had calmed down. The blonde and the brunette stayed there until the power came back on.
After the power had come back the pair went off to their bedroom and Newt climbed under the sheets. Thomas made sure that the night light was on and plugged in before going around the apartment to turn all the other lights off while making sure the other night lights were also on. There was at least one in every room, except for the living room and the kitchen where there were two, just in case Newt ever needed to walk around during the night.
When he came back to the bedroom he found Newt curled up into a ball underneath the covers, making it so that the only part of him that was visible was his fluffy blonde hair. Thomas changed into more comfortable clothes before climbing into the bed to cuddle with his boyfriend. He wrapped an arm around the blonde’s waist and when Newt curled up against him he tightened his grip.
Thomas started combing his fingers through the older boys hair again and for a few moments they just lay there in a comfortable silence, enjoying each other’s warmth and company. ”How are you feeling?” Thomas asked.
A few moments later Newt still hadn’t said anything, but eventually he said, “Better now that you’re here.”
”Do you want to talk about it?”
”…Not particularly .”
”Would it help?”
”Maybe? I don’t know…”
Thomas stroked the blonde’s fluffy hair some more and kissed the top of his head. “Okay, we don’t have to talk about it. You don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with, however, if you end up wanting to, I will listen, and I’ll be there for you. I am here for you and I always will be, okay.” Newt nodded.
After a couple moments of hesitation Newt decided it would be better if he talked about it, even if he didn’t necessarily want to. He took a deep breath and started to explain his side of what had happened.
“I was going to make dinner when the power went out and my phone died so I couldn’t use the flashlight. Then I heard a slamming noise outside and I dropped my phone and after that… I was back there… in that house… with him. Memories were flooding through my head and I didn’t know what to do. Then I heard your voice and the next thing I knew you were there and… well you know the rest.”
Thomas waited a moment to make sure that Newt was done talking before cupping both sides of his face, using his thumbs to wipe away the tears that were silently falling down the blonde's cheeks, and pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that, my love. Both tonight and the stuff with your father. Thank you for telling me.” They didn’t say much after that, they just stayed there, holding each other.
Newt has always been afraid of the dark, and perhaps he always will be, but tonight Newt fell asleep knowing that he was safe in the arms of the boy he loved. That night, he wasn’t afraid.