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“Come on. Good boy.” Remus eased the leash toward his leg, and the massive, black ball of fur came easily. Perched beside his knee, Remus glanced down at the harness and sighed. Guide Dog In Training, it read across the top, but it was cursory at this point. Padfoot was a good dog. For him.
Every time he attempted to get Padfoot to pass his training with anyone else, the dog remained obstinate and refused to follow commands. At this point, Remus had all-but given up on believing Padfoot would belong to anyone but him, and really, it was alright. He just felt dreadful knowing he didn’t have as much time to spend with the dog as he ought to.
He had three others under his own training, nearly ready to be given to clients, and Padfoot—as always—would remain.
He’d been a wildcard to begin with. Their training centre used specific breeders for their dogs, most of them retrievers and shepherds, but Remus had seen Padfoot. That litter had been an accident. A hole had been dug in the fence and one of the bitches had gotten loose, returning pregnant. They hadn’t been sure, though, if her litter was from one of their studs, or from her little adventure beyond the gates.
They’d gotten rid of most of the puppies on a discount sale, but Padfoot had remained when Remus and Marlene had gone to see about the next litter which were due in a few weeks. He was already three months old, and although hyper, when Remus sat down, the ball of black fluff trotted over and laid his head on Remus’ knee.
He begged, and eventually was allowed to take him in and put him through training.
Marlene had been hesitant about it, and he hated when she was right. But he was about to throw in the towel, so to speak, and pull Padfoot from the official list of dogs available for adoption.
Remus felt a kinship with the dog, and maybe that’s why he was so attached. He and his parents had emigrated from Argentina to the UK when he was eleven—his mother had family in Wales—and he’d always sort of been the odd one out. His wild black curls, dark eyes framed by thick brows, and his bronzed skin made sure he stuck out like a sore thumb.
He could never entirely lose his accent, try as he might in a desperation to fit in. But his parents only spoke Spanish at home, and eventually he just gave up trying. He’d intended on becoming a veterinarian when he was finished with University, but he’d been working in a clinic when he’d met an older man whose guide dog had been accidentally clipped by a taxi, and Remus had chatted with the bloke for the duration of the dog’s treatment, and suddenly he was hooked on the idea of guide dogs.
He’d got the information from the man about the training centre, and five years later, here he was. He was a supervisor now, doing well, and living on the grounds. It was one of the more posh centres in the country, set in North Brighton on a massive patch of land. There was a string of cottages for their clients to hire out during the course of the training which lasted two weeks. The clients would come in, meet the dogs, and eventually when a client and dog bonded, they would go on to the next step.
The training was simple enough, the client would learn the commands for the dog, and the training guide would work with them until the client was comfortable enough to take the dog home. Then for six weeks, the trainer would visit the client and the dog at home, making sure everyone was settled in.
If all was well, a contract would be signed, the dog would be adopted, and everyone went home happy.
Remus spent most of his time working with the young pups, but they’d just lost two trainers, so he had three dogs besides Padfoot to find homes for.
It was a slow process, being that each trainer could only take on two clients at once, and Remus had one coming in that afternoon. The man was called Sirius Black, and his short bio said he was blind from birth, and this would be his second dog. It was generally easier when a client had used a guide dog before, so Remus wasn’t feeling overly anxious. Honestly he was just hoping to get through the next few weeks without any incidents.
***
Sirius pressed his forehead to the glass of the car, pointedly ignoring James. He was still not pleased about being convinced to get a new dog, even if he knew—deep down, very deep down—that it was the best idea.
But the death of Snuffles had taken a toll on Sirius, more than he really anticipated. Of course, Snuffles had been more than just a guide dog, but Sirius had always prided himself on being stoic and careful with his emotions. He’d spent years being manipulated by his parents, and had been determined to never let anyone or anything have control over him like that.
Snuffles had come along when Sirius had finally run away. It was no question at all that he’d be going to James’, he’d always known that someday he’d end up there, really. But he hadn’t anticipated the psychological toll it would take on him when he realised that his parents’ rejection of him was very real, and very profound.
The Potters got him into therapy, and just before he completely broke down, Snuffles came along. They’d found an organisation for the blind which eventually put them in touch with Snuffles’ handler. It had been immediate love. Sirius felt an anxious knot in his chest unwind the moment his hands buried themselves into Snuffles’ fur.
For all that he loved James, and would always have sanctuary in those arms, Snuffles gave him something more. Independence his parents never believed he could have. Someone to listen to him, when he was tired of being strong, when he was tired of having to be better than abled people just to be seen as equal. When he was tired of every tiny accomplishment used as inspiration porn so sighted people could feel better about their lives…or when they would use his very existence as a way of attempting to minimise problems in their lives.
When he’d speak these things to James, for all that his boyfriend loved him, James would attempt to fix the problem. To make Sirius feel better about himself and sometimes he just wanted to sit and wallow about the world being shitty.
And it wasn’t as though he felt that way all the time. He had a good job, he was a programmer for a decent company, he made good money which was his great big Fuck You to his parents who thought he would accomplish nothing thanks to his disability. He had a loving partner—comfortable in his gender and sexuality. He and James were polyamorous—James being, as he called himself, a raging Bisexual, liked to have a girlfriend every now and again.
Sirius himself was demi-male, preferring to dress feminine, but he was without question gay. He generally liked James’ girlfriends, though hated when they left him—as inevitably they always did. This last one had been the hardest, being that a child had come about.
Harry was now three, and Lily had just set up her own place not too far from where James and Sirius lived. They still got on, the split was amicable, but it was amidst this that James brought up it was time for Sirius to move on.
“You’ve been struggling for too damn long to get to and from work and the shops,” James said one afternoon as he took a seat next to Sirius on their sofa. “We all fiercely miss Snuffles but Sirius…”
“I know,” Sirius muttered, his head tipped down toward his knees. He felt James shift, then a tentative hand closing round the back of his neck, massaging gently.
“I’ve found this place, it’s a bit of a drive, but it’s a fully integrated training programme. You stay there for a few weeks, train with the dog, and if it works out, you bring the dog home. And…and I think you ought to. I can take a day off work and help you get settled, and I’ll drive up that weekend. But Sirius…”
“I know,” Sirius breathed again. He gave up trying to be strong, and instead let his arms come round James and he buried himself in those warm arms. He knew James was right. But it felt like doing this meant Snuffles was actually gone and he wasn’t sure he was ready to let him go yet.
But it was time.
Sirius was tired of struggling.
It didn’t mean he had to like it, or like James very much for forcing him to do this. But it was happening.
“Will you stop sulking? We’re nearly there,” James said as the car made a sharp turn to the left.
“I’ll sulk if I damn well please,” Sirius muttered.
He could practically hear James’ eye roll as the car headed onto an unmaintained road. It was bumpy and uncomfortable, and Sirius grimaced. “How far is it?”
“I can see the entrance straight ahead. Just another minute or two.”
Sirius remained silent until the car crawled to a stop, and James switched the engine off. After a moment, James reached over and put his hand on Sirius’ knee.
“If you hate it, if you really can’t do this, then we’ll go. But I think…you ought to try.”
Sirius sighed, then closed his hand over James’. “Yeah I…I know. It’s just hard.” Letting him go, he reached down for his cane, then got out of the car, waiting for James to come round. A moment later, he felt his boyfriend, and curled his hand just above James’ elbow, and they started out.
“The office is straight on,” James said quietly. “Looks like four steps up to the door. The entire compound is well spread out. I think beyond the cottages are where you take the dogs for walks and things. It’s set up a bit like a park, and there’s a lake in the distance.”
“How many cottages?” Sirius asked, clutching his folded cane so tight his knuckles ached.
“Erm. Looks like at least ten. I know the bloke I spoke to said they kept it all rather small to give each client their full attention. There’s a welcome desk inside, and then we’re meeting with erm…fuck I can’t remember his name.”
Sirius said nothing as James took them up the five steps, and into a lobby with a wide echo. Sirius tucked his cane into his back pocket before reaching out, his hand going along the top of the welcome desk where it encountered a stack of name cards with embossed print and braille, and several pamphlets that were likely print with photos on it.
“Hi there,” James said. “We’re erm. Checking in?”
“Name please,” came a slightly rough voice that Sirius found a bit feminine.
“Sirius Black. And I’m James Potter.”
There was clicking on a keyboard, then the voice spoke with a smile in it. “Ah yes here you are. You’re in cottage B, and your trainer will be Remus Lupin. I believe he’s just stepped out, but I can show you to the cottage and give you all the guide dog forms to go over. I’ve got a copy in print and one in braille if you’d like both.”
“That would be great,” James said.
Sirius remained saying nothing as James gathered up everything, and then he pressed a key into Sirius’ free hand. Sirius felt a braille tag on the side, then shoved it into his pocket.
“All the cottages are along this path here. It’s paved,” she said as she led the way out the front door. “It’s also raised, so if you’re using your guide cane it’s easy to navigate.”
When James nudged him a bit, Sirius sighed. “We can go over it all later, Jamie.”
“Fine.”
The walk to the cottage wasn’t long, Sirius didn’t bother counting steps straight away with the woman taking them. “Here we are. All the doors have braille plaques on the side. You’re equipped with a kitchen and VI friendly devices. We have housekeeping three times a week for laundry and towels, and all of that is included in your fee so don’t hesitate to ring up the desk if you need anything.”
“Excellent, thank you,” James said, as Sirius muttered acknowledgement under his breath. “How long until the trainer gets here?”
“Shouldn’t be more than an hour. He’d be giving you time to get to know the place anyway, but I can send him straight on if you’d like?”
“Yeah, that would be fine,” Sirius cut in, desperate to be done with the whole thing. He felt James tense, but neither said anything else until the door shut and the woman was gone.
“You could stand to be a little less rude,” James said, easing his arm out of Sirius’ grip. “Not everything is an offence on your person.”
“I didn’t…” Sirius stopped and scrubbed his face. “I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to be here, Jamie. I…I hate this. I was happy with Snuffles and I don’t want to replace him.”
“Well he’s gone,” James said harshly. His hands then came to cup Sirius’ face, and his thumbs rubbed over his cheeks. “I love you, Sirius. I love you so much, but it’s been two years and moving on doesn’t mean you love him less. It just means you’re getting on with your life. And it’s okay.”
Sirius allowed himself to be enveloped into the strong arms, fingers carding through his hair, and he sighed against James’ chest. “I just hate this. I miss him.”
“I know, love. I do.” He kissed Sirius softly on the temple, then grabbed him by the chin and placed several gentle kisses to his mouth. “But this will be good for you. I promise. And you don’t have to settle. If nothing here works out, there are other places to look.”
Sirius leant into James’ hand and nodded. “I know.”
“I love you, babes.”
Sirius laughed and pushed his nose into James’ cheek. “Yeah yeah, I know that too.”
***
“Hey Re, your new client’s here,” Mary said, leaning over the desk to grin at Padfoot. “Looks a bit…surly. Might have a tough one on your hands.”
Remus sighed. “¡Qué mala leche!” When Mary lifted an eyebrow, he shrugged. “It’s my bad luck, of course. The last several clients have been…less than agreeable.” He reached down and gave Padfoot a few pets. “I’ll get him inside, then go introduce myself. What cottage are they in?”
“He’s called Sirius, and his companion is James—James is sighted. And they’re in B.”
Remus gave her a quick salute, then headed out the back door to his small cottage which was near the kennel. He unharnessed Padfoot and put him in through the gate, then grabbed his small folder with the info on his three available dogs before heading over.
The path was short to their cottage, and he could hear voices as he approached the door. It was too low to make out what they were saying, but he was hoping they weren’t rowing—as it always made things awkward. With a breath, he knocked on the door and waited.
Several moments passed before a tall man with dark skin and wild hair answered. He had wide, hazel eyes behind thick-framed glasses, and met Remus’ gaze, telling Remus this was likely James.
“Hi, I’m Remus. I’m the trainer. I just got in and wanted to come introduce myself.”
James grinned, stepping aside for Remus, and shut the door behind him. Remus’ gaze quickly darted round the cottage, finding the second person sat on the sofa under the window. At first glance, Remus almost lost his breath. Sirius was incredibly good looking. He had long hair, dark black, pushed back over his shoulders. He wore black leggings and an oversized, cream coloured jumper with the sleeves rolled to the elbows, displaying several tattoos of flowers, and a large pair of deer antlers just below the inside of his elbow. His gaze was wandering, eye’s half-lidded, and from what Remus remembered from Sirius’ file, he had no light perception at all.
“You must be Sirius Black?” Remus said, approaching. “I’m Remus Lupin, I’ll be your trainer for the next few weeks.”
There was a tension in Sirius’ shoulders Remus picked up on straight away before he extended his hand, and Remus took it. “Hello,” he said stiffly.
“Did Mary at the desk give you the welcome packet?” he asked, taking a seat in the chair. He watched James hover nearby, but he didn’t take a seat.
Sirius flicked his fingers in the direction of where the braille packet was sat, on the cushion next to him. “I grazed it,” Sirius replied. “Standard fare.”
“Right yes. I’ve got the information on the dogs with me here, but I wanted to take some time to get to know you first. Ask about your past experiences with guide dogs. Get a feel of your personality. That way I can try and match you up. It’ll make the process less stressful on both you and the dogs.”
Sirius’ jaw tightened, but eventually he nodded. “Yeah alright. Go on.”
Remus opened his book, grabbing his fountain pen, and uncapped it with his teeth as he flicked to the questions page. “Alright,” he said, “you’ve had a dog before yes?”
“I did. For eight years.”
“Any before that?”
“No.” Sirius’ answer was stiff.
“And have you had a dog since that didn’t work out?”
“No,” Sirius replied again. “This is the first time since he…passed.” There was a visible wince, and Remus’ stomach sank. It was common for people to mistrust new guides after theirs passed, especially after working with one for so long. Nearly a decade meant the dog was more than family. Mary had been right, it would be a tough client.
“Can you give me the temperament of your previous dog? Everything you can think of. Even the subtle things you recall. Both good and bad.”
Remus could see the tension in Sirius, but his face went a bit calmer now that he was recalling his old companion. As he spoke, James finally came over, almost defiantly holding Sirius’ hand during the rest of the interview. Marking his territory, Remus thought. It was just as well. People like Sirius were both always taken, and if not—never interested in someone like Remus.
But they were sweet together. And Remus could tell this was going to be difficult, but he wanted to help.
“Alright,” he said after it was all done. “If you’re comfortable, I think I’m going to bring over Lucky. He’s been training with me since he was a pup, and he’s never had a previous owner before. I’ll give you some time to get to know each other, maybe go for a short walk after we go over his commands. Then we’ll see from there. Alright?”
Sirius nodded stiffly, and as Remus rose, James leant over to whisper something to Sirius, then followed Remus to the door.
“Mate, d’you mind if I come along?”
Remus blinked in surprise. “Not at all. But…I’ll be right back, I assure you.”
“It’s not that,” James said quietly. “I just…wanted to chat.”
Remus beckoned him along as they headed down the path, past his own cottage, and toward the kennel. “Is there something specific on your mind, er…may I call you James?”
“Yes, of course,” James said, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “It’s only…the thing is…Sirius doesn’t want to be here. He had a really difficult time when Snuffles passed and well…I don’t think he’s going to go easy on you.”
Remus laughed quietly. “I can tell, don’t worry. I’ve dealt with this before.”
James nodded. “I’m sure. But Sirius can be…stubborn. At best. I don’t want him to put you off. Don’t let him discourage you. He needs this, he needs a new dog.”
Remus reached out, putting a hand on James’ upper arm and squeezed. “I understand, James. I do. I’ve been doing this for a while, and I’ve come to an understanding about what the clients here need. I’m not bringing him a dog who was like his previous one. I’m bringing him a dog that I think will fit what he needs now. One who can grow with him. I expect him to reject Lucky at first, but in time it might work out. I can be as patient as he needs me to be.”
James gave him a funny look, head cocked to the side, then his face softened into a smile. “Alright. I’ll trust you. I think maybe we did good in finding this place, and not just for the dogs.”
Remus grinned shyly and shook his head. “I’ll do nothing but my best. I promise.”
***
By tea, Sirius had sent Lucky back to the kennel, as both Remus and James predicted. Remus had finished for the night, which left James and Sirius to some take-away in the little kitchen of the cottage. Sirius was sullen, stabbing at his rice with frustration, and James was watching him, his expression morose.
“Sirius…”
“Please don’t lecture me about giving that dog a chance. I didn’t like him. He didn’t feel right.”
“I wasn’t going to,” James said, which was a lie, but Sirius was pragmatic enough to let it go. “I just…I have to leave soon and I want you to give it more than just an hour or two. Try again tomorrow, please.”
Sirius pushed back from the table, stepping round the chair so he could push it back in. “I’m going for a bath,” he said by way of answer. With that, he used what he remembered to find his way to the bathroom. There was a massive tub, with jets on the side, and he carefully found the tap, turning it to hot.
Stepping out of his clothes, he set them up on the counter, then eased himself into the water. His head had just hit the side of the porcelain when he heard the door, then the tell-tale flick of the light coming on. With a sigh, he shifted over as James lowered himself in without an invite.
“Man, can’t get any peace round here,” Sirius whinged.
James laughed, pressing his face into the crook of Sirius’ neck and kissing as the water filled up along their bodies. “Not from me, you can’t.” His hands ghosted down Sirius’ chest, as Sirius’ hands came round his back, drawing lazy lines, even as the water covered them.
After a bit, James reached back with his foot, kicking at the tap until it shut off, then he situated himself between Sirius’ legs, taking Sirius’ face between his palms. “Sweetheart, I love you.”
Sirius gave a shudder, gentle as he pressed the side of his face into James’ palm. “Oh, I know it. I do.”
James leant forward, kissing along his jaw, along his cheeks, before stopping at his mouth. Sirius’ opened under his easily, gladly as James slid his tongue in, exploring every inch with a gentle tenderness he reserved for Sirius and Sirius alone. Sirius’ hands drifted down, cupping round James’ ribs, then to his hips where he held him tight in a bruising grip.
Their tongues continued to dance gently against each other, slick and soft, and James’ breathing sped up. “God I…you’re so…”
Sirius chuckled against kiss-bruised lips and shook his head. “I’m so…?”
“Only you can do this to me,” James gasped, pushing himself against Sirius.
They couldn’t do much in the water, hands wandering, fisting, pulling. James eventually cried out first, burying his face against Sirius’ neck. His lover followed suit, a breath after, shuddering and whispering James’ name like a prayer.
When it was over, James eased himself out of the tub first, towelling off before reaching his hand down. “Right in front of you. Come on.”
Sirius reached out, finding James’ hand, and allowed himself to be pulled from the water. He turned and knelt down, his fingers searching until he found the plug and pulled it. Setting it to the side, he moved back to James and allowed the taller man to scrub him dry, then wrap him in the soft dressing gown.
“Bed,” James commanded. “It’s been a long day.”
Sirius grumbled, but took the top of James’ shoulder as they moved into the cottage’s small bedroom. The bed was comfortable enough, the duvet heavy and warm, mattress with just enough give to support their weight.
Sirius turned on his side, James wrapping around the back of him, and Sirius grabbed his hand, playing with his fingers. “I’m not going to like any of them, Jamie. It’s…this is too hard.”
“I know,” James breathed against the back of his neck. “But I think you’ll find something here. I really do.”
Sirius breathed deep for a minute, basking in the feeling of being held tight and safe. “The trainer, Remus? What’s he like?”
James chuckled. “Fit, cute. Rather sweet, I thought.”
Sirius hummed. “Probably hates me already.”
James shook his head, pressing a kiss to the back of Sirius’ neck. “Ah no, I don’t think that at all. I think he…I think he understands, at the very least. I think he wants to help.”
Sirius pushed his face into the pillow and took another breath, hating that the smells of this place were not home. “I like his accent.”
James laughed again. “You always were a sucker for them.” There was a short pause, and then James said, “You interested in him?”
Sirius stiffened. “Jamie, I’m here to find a dog, not a boyfriend.”
James laughed. “When has a purpose ever stopped you from exploring your options, love? I don’t mind. Like I said, he’s fit. And kind. Could be good for you.”
“Us,” Sirius corrected. They never shared women, but they shared men, and Sirius didn’t like dating on his own if James wasn’t involved. “If you’re not interested then I don’t want…”
“I didn’t say that,” James replied quietly. “I’m still just…a bit sore.”
Sirius let out a breath. “This is a stupid time to be talking about something like this. I’m knackered and we really are here for a reason. And you’re leaving tomorrow.”
James sighed and held him just a little tighter. “You know I can be here the second you need me. And I’ll be back on the weekend with Haz.”
Sirius felt his mouth curve up into a smile. “Yeah. And I think…I think I need to do this alone, you know? I don’t think I’m going to be able to get through it otherwise.”
James nuzzled the back of his hair. “I know, love. Now get some rest. It’ll all be okay.”
Sirius wasn’t sure he believed that, but it didn’t stop him from letting himself hope.
***
Cookie. Sirius hated the name, so how could he deal with the dog. Cookie, he’d sneered. Remus was at his wit’s end, seeing as Cookie was his last dog, and it was only the third day.
He’d come in to the cottage to find Sirius sat at the kitchen table working on his laptop. Cookie was lying on the floor at the foot of the sofa, her harness off, leash on the arm, and clearly rejected. Just like the other two.
Remus knocked on the doorframe, then stepped in. “Ah. Have you attempted a walk?”
Sirius’ jaw went tight, but he didn’t turn toward Remus and didn’t answer for several moments. “She wouldn’t listen to my commands to get the harness on, so I didn’t bother.”
Remus shuffled his feet, muttering under his breath, “Dios mio. Listen, why don’t I come along with you? I’ve trained her since she was born…”
“So what? Her commands are in Spanish?” Sirius bit.
Remus winced. “No. Of course not,” he said as politely as he could. “But perhaps it’s a matter of comfort. I’d…I’d like for you to give it a try. Please.”
Sirius’ fingers stilled on his braille refresher, then he pushed back the chair just slightly. “Fine.”
Remus was startled. Sirius had thus far refused every offer to accompany him as he got to know the dogs, and he was expecting yet another rejection. “I…alright. Yes. Excellent. So shall I…shall I harness the dog for you, if you’re not comfortable?”
“Go on, then,” Sirius said. His fingers went out, moving along the table and eventually curled round his cane which he tucked into his back pocket. His head was tilted slightly toward Remus, clearly listening for the motions of the harness being put on the dog, which Remus hurried to do.
He used firm, loud commands, Cookie listening as she always did, and sat perfectly still. When Remus was done, he stood up straight. “Call for her, please.”
Sirius pulled a face, and in a voice which had no commanding tone, he said, “Cookie, come.”
Cookie didn’t move, and Remus pinched the bridge of his nose. “Mr Black…”
“Sirius,” he snapped, correcting him.
“Sirius,” Remus amended without missing a beat, “you have to sound like it’s a command. Please. Dogs don’t entirely hear words, they hear tone. I…surely you know this.”
Sirius’ cheeks coloured a faint pink, telling Remus he was deliberately rejecting this dog and not trying. But instead of repeating his mistake, he gave the command, and the hand motion. Cookie obediently trotted over, sitting at his left, and Sirius reached down, finding the handle of the harness.
He gave the command to the door, and Remus, after a moment, followed.
They took the long path toward the small pond, Sirius directing the dog perfectly well, and Remus could tell with certainty now what this was all about.
“I know it’s hard,” he said once they found a bench to sit. “I do. I’ve seen people grieving and struggling. And a new dog shouldn’t cause you pain.”
Sirius’ jaw went tight again, his head bowed forward. “Snuffles was more than just a guide. And I know everyone says that, but it’s not the same. He saved my life.”
Remus blinked, looking over at Sirius carefully. The flutters of the crush were still there, growing by the day in spite of his exasperation with how contrary this person was. And in spite of the fact that he knew Sirius was very much taken. “Literally, do you mean?”
Sirius shrugged. “I mean, he didn’t pull me from traffic or something. But I…he…I was in a bad way. I had run away from home, was disowned by my parents. Jamie’s family took me in but…but it wasn’t…” He trailed off. “He came along to remind me I was a fully capable, independent human being. I wasn’t a burden. I honestly didn’t believe that until that damn dog. And I know they’re dogs. I know they don’t…they won’t live forever. I just wasn’t ready.”
Remus, in spite of himself, reached out and put his hand on Sirius’ knee. “You need to find a companion that offers you something different. Your beautiful companion already showed you what you could be. So it’s time to find a dog that offers you something else. Something else you need.”
Sirius let out a low chuckle under his breath, and shifted closer to Remus. Just a fraction, but it was enough. “I guess so. I just…I don’t know why none of these dogs feel right. You really haven’t got any others?”
Remus laughed. “No, I don’t. I’m not usually a handler. I’m a supervisor, but I can put you with someone else. Marlene, perhaps. She has a few that…”
“No,” Sirius said stiffly. “No I like you. Please.”
Remus flushed, but cleared his throat and said, “Alright. Well, let’s see what we can come up with.” Then his mouth got ahead of his brain and his reason as he said, “Why don’t you come to mine for dinner tonight? I’ll cook you something, we can chat a bit more.”
Sirius seemed to brighten at that. “Yeah? I mean, it wouldn’t be a problem?”
“Not at all,” Remus said lightly. “Come on, we can go now. We’ll get Cookie back to the kennel.”
Sirius sighed, then let his hand wander out, gently giving Cookie’s head a pat. “No offense, right, pup?”
Cookie huffed a bit, and Sirius laughed as Remus shook his head. “I think she can tell. It’s no worries.”
They headed back to Remus’, bypassing the cottage, and when they neared the kennel, Remus slowed. “Alright, she’s going in through the gate. If you want to unharness her, I think she’d appreciate it.”
Sirius smiled gently as he reached out for the gate, then commanded her to sit. He carefully undid the harness, then gave her a scritch behind her ears, and pressed his nose into the fur on the top of her head. “You’re a good girl. You’re going to make someone very happy some day,” he said very softly.
Remus felt his heart thumping wildly in his chest as he opened the gate, and sent Cookie in. When she was bounding round with the other dogs, Remus locked it back up, then hitched the harness over his shoulder and waited for Sirius to take out his cane.
“I’m not far. Just round the corner.” He paused as Sirius took his arm, then they made their way up to Remus’ front door. Inside, Remus gave a description of the area, his place was always kept clean, and all was well until padding feet hit the polished wood, and Padfoot came bounding into the room.
“What…” Sirius said as Padfoot began sniffing him.
“Sorry!” Remus said swiftly. “Padfoot, no! Sit. Bajá un cambio.” He shook his head and muttered, “No dá. I’m sorry this is my dog, Padfoot.”
Sirius’ hand was out, buried in Padfoot’s incredibly thick hair. “Is he a guide?”
Remus laughed. “I meant him to be, but of course he would not pass his training for anyone. He’s…ah he was a test subject I suppose, he didn’t come from our breeding litters.”
“Soft,” Sirius muttered, still petting.
Remus sighed. “Yes, soft and sweet, and a pain in my arse. Padfoot, outside!”
The dog whinged, but eventually complied and went out through the little doggie door as Remus took Sirius into the lounge. “It won’t take me long to whip something up, alright? And then we can chat.”
Sirius eased back on the sofa and smiled. “Whatever you like, Remus. Thank you. You’ve really helped quiet a lot.”
Remus blushed and muttered that it was no problem as he hurried off, knowing this was probably a bit mistake, but willing to make it anyway.
***
Sirius was surprised by Remus, by his willingness to help, by his willingness to understand. He didn’t push any of the dogs on Sirius, all the while encouraging him to try. He was kind, as James had said. Sweet and listened. His food was delicious, and there was a comfort between them Sirius hadn’t expected.
After they ate and chatted a bit more, Sirius excused himself out to the back garden to have a smoke as Remus tidied up the dishes. Sat on the step, legs out in front of him, Sirius took a pull on his smoke, startling when suddenly a fuzzy head propped itself on his knee.
Padfoot, he remembered. The dog was massive. Sirius’ reach barely got halfway down the dog’s back before his arm wouldn’t stretch anymore. His torso was round, his fur so soft and so long. He propped his head on Sirius thigh and snuffled in, reminding Sirius of Snuffles so much, and yet not at all.
His hand brushed along the soft fur. “Too bad you’re such pain,” Sirius muttered, letting his fingers trace down the dog’s snout, then back up over his ears. “I rather like you.”
Padfoot huffed again, and turned his face into the pets. Sirius couldn’t help his grin as he abandoned his smoke to use both hands, giving the dog a thorough rub.
Not long after, the door opened and shut, and Sirius could hear Remus’ feet on the deck. “He’s not bothering you, is he?”
“Not at all,” Sirius said gently. “He’s fairly great, isn’t he?”
“Fairly,” Remus said from behind a laugh. He sat down next to Sirius, the only thing separating them being Padfoot, and his hands joined Sirius’ in the soft fur. “I had high hopes for him.”
“Will you keep him?” Sirius wondered quietly.
Remus sighed. “I’d like to. So long as he gets on with the other pups, of course.”
Lowering his head, Sirius let his face bury into the fur and he revelled in the smell he missed so much. The warmth and forever loyalty of a companion he craved desperately. “Can I spend more time with him?” Sirius asked softly. “If I promise to give the other dogs another try?”
Remus was quiet for a long time. “Of course you can. Sirius,” but he didn’t finish his sentence. They merely sat in quiet comfort until it was time to turn in for the night.
***
The rest of the week, Sirius was getting on with Lucky better than any of the other dogs, just as Remus had predicted he would. It wasn’t perfect, though. Sirius’ commands were more subtle than Lucky was used to, and often Sirius would have to repeat himself enough to get frustrated and abandon the task.
By Saturday of the first week, Remus was half-certain Sirius was going to give up. He’d said James was coming to visit that day, so Remus was hoping maybe his boyfriend could talk a bit of sense into him, to give it more time.
Remus was conflicted by the whole thing, really. Sirius spent far more time than was proper at Remus’. Spending time with both him and Padfoot. And Remus was half-sure more than once Sirius was flirting with him. But he wasn’t reading too much into it. It was possible Sirius was just that sort of person, and Remus didn’t want to get his hopes up.
Saturday morning brought the arrival of both James and a young boy Remus hadn’t been expecting. The toddler was the spit of James, down to the glasses and the wild hair, though when he clambered from the car, he rushed at Sirius with a cried, “Papa!”
Sirius threw his arms round the boy and lifted him, kissing him all over his cheeks and Remus realised it was their child. His heart sank a little lower, even as James spotted him and gave him a wide, happy grin.
Remus eventually walked over, hands in his pockets, feeling a bit out of place there. “Good to see you again,” he said.
“Absolutely,” James replied, reaching out to squeeze Remus’ shoulder. “Not giving you too much trouble, this one?”
Sirius huffed, even as he gave the boy a tickle, the air punctuated with small giggles. “I’m a delight, aren’t I, Remus?”
“Of course. Very polite, no trouble at all.”
“He bribed you to say that, didn’t he?” James demanded.
Sirius huffed. “Listen, I am a wonderful person and people like me. Remus likes me. Puts up with me at his nearly every night.”
Remus flushed, feeling a wave of guilt. “I…well…”
“Well someone ought to,” James joked. He gave Remus another grin and Remus wondered a bit because had it been him in James’ position, he might have been a bit jealous or at the very least, a little worried.
But they both seemed relaxed, even as they took Harry’s hands to show him round the place. Remus was impressed by the boy, his behaviour toward Lucky whom Sirius was working with that morning. Most of the children that came round couldn’t keep their hands off the dogs, even the working ones, and Remus felt a breath of relief he wouldn’t have to educate the little one on guide dog etiquette.
He let the family to themselves for a while, and it wasn’t until after tea when Remus saw James strolling toward him with Lucky on the leash. “Hope you don’t mind,” he called as he approached. “Sirius and Harry decided to have a walk and he asked me to bring Lucky back. I don’t…er…I don’t think he’s going to take him.”
Remus sighed, but nodded. “I expected as much. Honestly it was a long-shot, but I wanted to go for it.”
James ruffled his own hair with one hand as he passed the leash over, and watched as Remus put Lucky back in the kennel. “Well, I appreciate it. He does as well, you know. Likes you a great deal.”
Remus felt himself blush hard and guilt ripped through him. “Well he’s…I mean we…It isn’t…”
James chuckled and shook his head. “Remus, mate, it’s alright. I mean we don’t go round advertising it or anything but Sirius and I aren’t…well monogamous, I suppose. Polyamorous is the term we usually use. He fancies you.”
Remus swallowed, his eyes going wide. He’d heard of the term, of course, but assumed it was sort of a…well, a sex thing. “Ah. Okay.”
“It’s weird, I know,” James said as Remus absently led the way to his cottage. Instead of going in, the pair sat on the stoop with their legs stretched in front of them. “He can be a bit overwhelming. Our lives haven’t exactly been easy, you know. But I love the hell out of him.”
Remus nodded, not really dealing with the whole polyamory thing straight away. “I can tell. And he wasn’t really. Overwhelming, that is. He’s just hurting.”
Just then, Padfoot raced out of the doggy door, pausing to give Remus’ face a lick, then nudge James before he took off running into the field. Remus half-stood, calling after the dog, but he disappeared into the trees and he slunk down.
“Dios mio,” he muttered. “Yet another reason why he’ll never pass the training.”
James’ eyes widened. “That was a guide dog?”
“Ah no. I mean…I had hoped one day he might, but…” Remus waved his hand toward the trees. “Hopeless cause.”
James chuckled and reached out, squeezing Remus’ knee. Freezing, Remus chanced a look over at him, then licked his lips. “Alright?” James asked, not removing his hand.
Remus nodded. “Ah I…how does it work? With you two? If you don’t mind that I’m asking.”
“No I don’t mind at all,” James said. He blew out a puff of air, stretched his arms behind him a bit, and leant back on his hands. “Sirius and I have been…well a thing, I suppose, for ages. We met at school, and he was a whirlwind. We hated each other for the first month, then one day he caught me plotting against our Head of House—I was going to booby-trap her office, and he muttered a couple of helpful tips. After that we were fairly inseparable. His family was shite, so eventually he came to live with me, and when we were about seventeen we fell together.” James sighed and lifted a hand to ruffle his hair again. “I was off and on with this girl Lily in our year as well. She knew what I had with Sirius was probably forever, and she tried. I’ve had girlfriends every now and again, but she was the most consistent. After Harry was born though, she wanted to settle down. I think, in the end, she couldn’t handle sharing.”
“Ah,” Remus said quietly.
“It might have been easier if she’d been with both me and Sirius, but it never worked out that way.”
“So the pair of you…together?” Remus asked, his cheeks still pink. “Date one person?”
“We have,” James said softly. “It’s good that way, you know. It gets complicated, it’s just as complicated as any other relationship. Sirius has issues with jealousy, and I’ve been accused many times of being too easy on our partners. But sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn’t.”
Remus fiddled with the hem of his jumper, and opened his mouth to reply when suddenly there was a figure off in the distance. It was small, toddling toward them, and both Remus and James heard a soft cry just as James leapt to his feet.
“Harry!” he cried, breaking into a run.
Remus was quick at his heels, and they crossed the field, James sweeping the crying child up into his arms and kissing him all over his face.
“Where’s Papa?”
“Papa falled down,” Harry said, swiping at his nose. “And I don’t know. I don’t know!” he wailed.
James looked absolutely panicked, and Remus held up his hand. “The woods aren’t that large. We can go look for him, alright?”
James nodded, his eyes wide and frantic as he hitched the toddler on his hip, and they went tearing in the direction Sirius had taken.
They searched for the better part of half an hour, and just as James was ready to call in the authorities, they heard a soft woof, and looked up. Through the trees, Remus spotted a mass of shaggy black fur, and then a hand on his head. Walking slowly and carefully toward them, was Sirius.
James’ knees wobbled, and Remus reached out for the toddler. Giving Remus a grateful smile, James passed the boy over before rushing at Sirius. “Si, oh my god, are you alright?”
As Remus got closer, he saw a few bumps and bruises, a scratch across his left cheek, but otherwise he seemed unharmed. He allowed James to drag him into a hug, kissing his mouth softly.
“Fell,” Sirius muttered, reaching down to confirm Padfoot was still by his side. “Lost my bloody cane, and then…then Harry.”
James looked over at the toddler who had his face buried in Remus’ neck. “He came out of the woods. Fuck, you’re okay. You’re alright,” he breathed.
“I was more concerned about Harry. Fuck, Jamie. I lost him.”
James was shaking his head hard, holding Sirius by the shoulders. “He ran off from me in Tesco’s last week. It wasn’t you, okay? Breathe. We’ve got him. And you’re alright.”
Sirius took in a shaking breath, then pulled away from James to kneel down, throwing his arms round Padfoot. “This fuzzy beast saved my arse. Remus, are you here?”
“I am,” Remus said quietly.
Sirius took a moment before he spoke again. “Can I try with Padfoot? I feel like…I know he hasn’t done well in the past but I…”
“Yes,” Remus said without hesitation, a warmth blooming in his chest. “Yes, absolutely.”
Sirius hugged the dog once more before he stood up and reached for James. “We can find the stupid cane later, alright? I’ve a spare in my case and I just…I want a shower. I feel disgusting.”
James let out a trembling laugh as he reached for Harry again, and squeezed the boy. “You do not run off from Papa, Haz. You know that.”
“Sorry,” Harry whispered, hiding his face.
Sirius reached out and ran his hand up and down Harry’s back. “You scared the spit out of me, little one. Never, ever again. Papa does not like losing you.”
“Okay,” Harry whispered once more.
Remus looked at the small family, then thought about what James had said earlier and he felt strange. A pull to be with them, and the feeling of being so outside of their intimate bond. He wasn’t sure he’d tell Sirius no, if Sirius asked for a date, and yet he was so afraid to disrupt this gentle harmony.
Ignoring it all for the moment, Remus said, “Go clean up, then come to mine. I’ll prepare something for dinner and we can all relax. Then I’ll get Padfoot’s things together and he can spend the night with you in your cottage.”
Sirius’ smile was bright and sunny then, and he reached for Remus, tugging him into a hug. “Thanks,” he breathed.
Remus closed his eyes and felt a funny ache in the centre of his chest. “Of course.”
***
Stepping out of the shower, Sirius smiled at the sound of Harry singing in the other room. Then his smile widened when warm hands took him by the waist and began to towel him off.
“You spoil me,” Sirius muttered.
“Sorry, but when you get lost and fall down a ravine and almost die, you get spoilt,” James said firmly.
Sirius snorted. “It was not a ravine, and I did not almost die.”
“Well in my head that’s how it happened,” James said, swiping behind Sirius’ ears before he ran the towel down his long hair. “It was all very death-defying and harrowing.”
Sirius turned in James’ arms, hands coming up to cup James’ cheeks. His thumbs ran over the familiar contours of his lover’s face. “It was rather harrowing, wasn’t it? Is Harry alright?”
“He’s fine,” James murmured, pulling Sirius in for a kiss even as he reached for the counter for Sirius’ dressing gown. He pulled it up over his lover’s shoulders and wrapped him tight. “If you want to rest, we can skip dinner at Remus’.”
“Nah,” Sirius said. “Bit peckish, and you’ll like his food. It’s all very spicy and wonderful.”
“Just like him, eh?” James asked.
Sirius flushed. “Dunno what you mean.”
“Well I mean, that you fancy him,” James said slowly. “And he fancies you right back. And he got blushy with me a bit today so maybe he might like me a little bit as well.”
Sirius tipped his forehead down against James’ collarbone and let himself be held a bit. “I don’t want to get my hopes up. Once we’re done here…I mean hell, Jamie. He lives here, you know? What hope could we have if we live in London?”
James rubbed his hands up and down Sirius’ back. “I can’t tell you that, but I do know things have a way of working themselves out when the Universe wants.”
Sirius huffed, but said nothing as he moved away from James to get dressed. When he was sorted, he headed into the small lounge where the pair were waiting for him. “Hungry, kiddo?” Sirius asked, holding his hand out for Harry.
A moment later his fingers were occupied by tiny, chubby ones, and Harry bounced. “Up, Papa!”
Sirius complied, then took James’ arm and they headed out the door for Remus’. “Harry, you like Remus, right? Who was giving you hugs in the forest?”
Harry sighed. “He’s Moony.”
Sirius chuckled. “Moony, eh?”
“He’s has a moon here,” Harry said, pressing his little finger to the back of Sirius’ ear. “It’s right there. Like your flowers but a moon.”
“A tattoo, you mean?” Sirius asked.
“Um. Yeah,” Harry said, then leant his head on Sirius’ shoulder and said nothing until they arrived at Remus’.
The door was open, and there was a delightful smell on the edge of the breeze. Heading in, Sirius heard James knock on the doorframe, and from the back Remus called, “Come on in. Nearly sorted.”
Just as they stepped in, a faint patter of rain sounded on the roof, and within moments, it was pissing down on them. James hurried to shut the door as Sirius let Harry down to greet Padfoot who was stood by the sofa patiently waiting.
“Hi pretty,” Harry said. “Can I hug him, Papa? No harness, can I puh-leeease?”
Sirius laughed. “Go on then, sproglet.” He turned, and made his way to the kitchen he was now well familiar with, and leant against the wall. “Alright there, Remus?”
“Very well, thank you. And you? Does your cheek hurt a lot?”
Sirius reached up and inspected the scrape. “Nah, I’ve had loads worse. Good, long shower sorted me out. Bit of a scare though, eh?”
“Suppose it was,” Remus said quietly. Sirius could hear his feet stepping on the wood, then his body was close by. “Really, are you alright?”
Sirius reached out, letting his hand fall on Remus’ shoulder, and it crept up to cup the side of his neck. “I really am. Trust me, I can deal with things like that. And Padfoot was well…perfect.”
Remus chuckled. “Maybe it was fate then, eh?”
Sirius licked his lips, then slowly drew his hand away. “Maybe it was.”
***
Sitting down to eat, everyone exclaimed over Remus’ cooking which was something called carbonada—though Remus had put his own touches on it, making it spicier than the normal recipe, and he left out the meat which James was eternally grateful for.
“Honestly, you can cook for us any time, Remus,” James said with a groan as he pushed his bowl away. “Even Harry ate most of it.”
“Moony,” Harry said, pointing his spoon at Remus.
Remus blinked. “Er?”
“He saw your moon tattoo,” Sirius said, smiling.
Remus’ hand absently went to rub behind his ear. “Ah yes. I got it for my mama, she always had a thing about the moon and wolves.”
“Where your name came from?” Sirius asked with a small smirk. When he was met with silence, he shook his head. “It’s better than my family’s obsession with the stars, you know. And constellations.”
“I think your name is lovely,” Remus said, then found James’ eyes on him and he blushed. “Ah well. So how about a pudding?”
“Yay!” Harry cried. “Can I puh-leeease?”
James laughed and looked over at Sirius, then at Remus and shrugged. “What is it?”
“I have some dulce de leche medialunas,” he said, reaching for a small, covered tray on the counter. “They’re a bit like a…croissant? I suppose. With sweet inside.” He pulled out the crescent shaped sweet, then passed it to James so he could give it to the toddler.
Harry immediately snatched it up, and took a huge bite. “Oh! Daddy it’s good. Yeah um haff one okay?”
James laughed. “I’m too full, but maybe next time?”
Eventually Harry got down to play, and Sirius followed him to the lounge to sit with Padfoot as James offered to help Remus tidy up. There was a slight tension between them, until James walked over and put his hand on Remus’ shoulder.
“I bothered you earlier, didn’t I?”
Remus licked his lips. “No I…I wasn’t bothered. It’s not…” He sighed and glanced over to where Sirius had Harry on his lap, talking to him quietly. “You have such a nice family and I don’t think…I think maybe you would change your mind. In the end.”
“I think,” James said quietly, “that I wouldn’t mind giving it a try. If you were interested. I know you know Sirius better than you know me but…I think you’re fantastic. If it’s too much of course, just say so. We’ll keep it professional and friendly and no hard feelings. But if you’re interested…”
“I am,” Remus blurted, getting ahead of himself. “It’s never something I’d considered before, never something I understood. But I think you’re both…” He couldn’t really find the words in English. “Que sé yo,” he finished with a shrug.
James laughed and reached out, cupping Remus’ cheek. “Was that good or bad?”
“I don’t know,” Remus said, then cleared his throat. “It literally means I don’t know. I don’t have the words to say. But maybe give me some time, okay? To think about it? And you as well?”
“Of course,” James said, and dragged his hand away. “Take all the time you need.”
***
Remus and Sirius were both on edge with the potential fate of Padfoot as Sirius’ new guide, but in the end, they needn’t have worried. Padfoot behaved as though he had always been meant to be with Sirius. There was some adjustment, of course. He attempted to return to Remus’ a few times in the first days, but by the end of the week, through his official tests, he passed with flying colours.
“We used to do a big ceremony,” Remus said quietly as he and Sirius shared a cup of tea out in his back garden. Padfoot was trotting round the grass with his tongue lolling out, happy and content, and Remus felt a sharp pain knowing he was going to miss him. “We would have all of our clients and have a sort of graduation, you know. It was cute. But we discovered it caused our trainers to try and rush the process, to get everyone to where they needed to be all on the same day. So Marlene and I called a meeting, and we agreed we’d just have it be private between client and trainer.”
“I like it this way,” Sirius said quietly, his shoulder pressing into Remus’. “I don’t like a lot of fuss, you know? It’s hard enough accepting a new dog and I think all that attention would put me off.”
“I understand,” Remus said. He pushed back lightly against Sirius, making his intent known. “I’m glad you came here, Sirius.”
Sirius smiled, leaning over so his head could rest against Remus’ shoulder, and he took a slow breath. “Me too. I like you quite a bit. Rather fancy the pants off you which is probably a big, glaring No in this business.”
“Probably,” Remus said from behind a huffing laugh. “But of course I’ve never fancied a client before so it’s all new to me.”
Sirius’ hand crept out, drawing up, finding Remus’ fingers, and he curled his around them. “I dunno how this could work. You live and work so far. Jamie says if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be but…”
“I know,” Remus breathed. He squeezed Sirius’ fingers back. “He asked me to think about it, and I did.”
Sirius tensed just a little, and turned his face toward Remus’. “Did you?”
Remus licked his lips. “I don’t know how to make it work, but I think I’d like to. I…well I’ll be coming into London for six weeks at least and…and well. Well we can…” He laughed at his own inability to get the words out. “Bueno, no sé.”
Sirius laughed and turned his face to nuzzle at Remus’ cheek. “No idea what that means, but your Spanish is gorgeous. Just like you.”
Remus’ whole body went flush, and his hand went out even as his mind was screaming for him not to get ahead of himself. His fingers brushed against Sirius’ cheek before cupping it, and closing his eyes. “Can I kiss you?”
“Please,” Sirius breathed.
Then they did. And it was soft and lovely, and careful. Sirius turned his whole body, his hands drifting into Remus’ hair and he smiled against his lips. “Curly,” Sirius said.
Remus blinked, then laughed. “Ah, I forgot you didn’t know. Yes it’s very curly.”
Sirius played with a few tendrils, twisting them round his fingers as he feathered light kisses along Remus’ cheeks. “Can I spend the night with you, Remus? We don’t have to…you know, go any further than you’re comfortable. But I’d like to spend a night or two holding you before I go.”
Remus closed his eyes, then nodded against Sirius’ shoulder as he dropped his face down to nuzzle his neck. “Sí, por favor. Yes,” he clarified. “Please.”
They stayed out until the sun dipped low into the horizon, and eventually the sky fell into darkness. Remus led the way to his bedroom, and with careful hands they undressed and found each other under the duvet. They didn’t go beyond light kissing, holding each other tight and almost desperate, but it was perfect. It was enough to make Remus realise this was what he’d been missing. And what he wanted.
He allowed himself to wonder what it would be like to have another there with them. James’ warm arms and careful lips and soft breath. He found he wanted that too, and he wondered at that moment how he’d gone so long living without it.
***
The parting was the worst for Sirius. Taking Padfoot home gave him comfort, but leaving Remus was like tearing off a stubborn plaster, ripping away skin and hair and leaving behind a dull ache.
Even James was a bit morose when they had to say goodbye to the centre, and even with the promise that Remus would be by that Tuesday to check on Padfoot settling in, it wasn’t enough.
“I like him,” Sirius said quietly as they finally stepped into their flat. “So much.”
“I know,” James said as he wrapped his arm round Sirius’ waist. “But he’ll be here soon and we’ll find a way to make it work.”
Sirius wasn’t entirely sure he believed James. He hadn’t the best luck in these things, and although his last few days with Remus had been some of the best. Tuesday was just too damn far away, and then he’d be saying goodbye again. For however long.
It made him ache deep beneath his ribs in a way he wasn’t sure he could take.
Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be.
When Tuesday came along, James was at work, and Sirius was on his laptop getting caught up on what he’d missed when his buzzer sounded. With a sigh, he knew it was Remus, and he knew what he had to do. He couldn’t carry on like this, and Remus would have to understand.
Walking to the door, he opened it and offered a tense smile. “Hey.”
There was a long pause. “Hi,” Remus said. “I…Sirius I…”
The tone in his voice made Sirius reach out for him, unable to stop himself, and he pulled Remus in. “What is it?” he asked, then buried his face in Remus’ neck as he embraced him.
“I think I’ve…I think I’ve quit my job,” Remus said.
Sirius pulled away sharply. “What?”
“I missed you,” Remus blurted, and his hands were on Sirius’ face then. “You and James and…I haven’t any time to properly get to know you both like I want to. Like I need to. So…so I just spent a full day looking at flats and if you’ll have me…”
His words were cut off as Sirius’ hand flew to his face, finding his lips with the edge of his thumb, and then he kissed him. Hard and needy and oh god, so good. Remus let out a startled grunt, then melted into the embrace and let Sirius drag him all the way inside. “Yes. We’ll fucking have you, Remus. It was never a question.”
***
Remus was being held gently between James and Sirius. A warm hand was clamped round his hip belonging to Sirius. A nose was pressed against his neck belonging to James, and he’d never felt so right before in his life.
It had been three weeks now. Marlene had taken over at Sirius’ trainer, and things with Padfoot couldn’t be better. Remus spent his time either with James, with Sirius, or with the pair of them. They were taking it slow, getting to know each other, and tonight had been their first time together, the three of them.
They were sated, knackered, and Remus was just beginning to drift off as he felt James’ fingers ghosting up his stomach. “Remus?”
Remus turned his head, smiling a bit. “Hmm?”
“Is this alright? I mean…all of this?”
Remus chuckled, turning slightly so Sirius was now spooning him, and he could reach out to up James’ cheek. “Are you worried?”
“Just a little,” James admitted. “I’m comfortable here and I just want to make sure you are.”
Remus closed his eyes, shaking his head a bit. “Está todo bien, Jamie. Everything’s alright. I’m happy. And this is perfect.”
At that, Remus felt warm lips press against the back of his neck, and a firm arm grip round his waist. “Perfect,” Sirius whispered sleepily, and hitched him close.
James reached out, letting his fingers twin with Sirius, and smiled like he understood exactly what his lovers were saying.
It was all quite perfect.