Chapter Text
I still remember, third of December
Me in your sweater, you said it looked better
On me than it did you, only if you knew
How much I liked you, but I watch your eyes
-Heather by Conan Gray
It was the day of the auditions. The whole college seemed to have an air of chaos and nervousness surrounding it. Watching the students in the halls seemed to feel like watching troops preparing for war. Everyone was pale, tired, and seemed to be running on adrenaline. They all looked like zombies mumbling their lines and praticing their notes, it sounded vaguely like a battle cry. The only thing that seemed to be left in their body was a hunger to win.
To any mere mortal, this would make no sense, as it was just an audition for the end-of-the-year play. But at the Royal Palindrome School of Arts, it was the opportunity of a lifetime. The start of their journey into show business. Everyone at the Royal Palindrome School of Arts had to go through rigorous auditions and training to be accepted; they only took in the best of the best. So the play was an opportunity for talent agents, directors, and producers to come and find their next star.
Legend has it that every lead of the play has become super successful. The audition was not for the faint of heart especially this year.The play the college had chosen was written by Lee Jihoon. Also known by his moniker, Woozi, he was a well-known perfectionist. He only wanted the best of the best for his play.
Enter Kim Seokjin.
He was definitely the best of the best. While the whole college was hoping to land any small part in the play, Jin was aiming for the main role and he knew he was going to get it. Because the only real competition he had was his brother, Kim Taehyung.
But luckily for him, Woozi had written a play about two brothers who fall in love with the lead. The minute he announced the play, there was no doubt in anyone’s mind that the brothers would be played by the Kims. The frantic environment was caused, rather, by the role of the lover. Everyone wanted to play the lover who would romance the two Kim brothers.
It was the role of a lifetime in many ways.
Jin sauntered into the theatre as the day of auditions began. He walked in wearing the most casual outfit he could; a simple sweatshirt and black jeans. It was an old school sweatshirt and, in comparison to everyone else in the room, it was a plain and boring outfit.But somehow, on Jin, it seemed to make a statement. The message was clear: even in the most raggedy of clothes, Jin was still more prominent and talented than anyone in the room. The role was his, and no one would stand in his way.
The minute he walked in, all eyes were on him. He could feel the stares of jealousy, longing, and even a few friendly smiles following him as he made his way to the stage.His gaze drifted to the table where the casting team sat: friends, fellow classmates, and most importantly, Lee Jihoon, who was watching him with a very deliberate, almost unreadable stare. It was as if Jihoon was trying to judge him based on appearance alone.
And in that moment, Jin felt nervous for the first time since entering the theatre.
Had he made the wrong call by being so ambivalent about the role?
He heard his mum’s voice in his head. "Acting is not about what you wear or how you look, but about being truthful."
When he had read the play, he had connected with the characters immediately. He knew that he could do complete justice to the role and he liked how it challenged him and pushed him to face something he often considered to be the bane of his existence.
The story was about an older brother Hyungwoo who had placed his younger brother Yunho’s happiness above his own throughout his life. In a small town bustling with colorful characters, Yunho was famously known for his beauty and Hyungwoo was known for his devotion to his younger brother. Then one day, someone new moves to town and suddenly their world changes. Hyungwoo meets someone who he is immediately drawn to and he slowly develops a friendship with.
For once, he meets someone who sees him - Hyungwoo. He is not just Yunho's older brother. The relationship slowly blossoms into more when Yunho finally tells Hyungwoo that he too has fallen in love. Hyungwoo realises that Yunho is love with the same person he loves. So he steps away from the one person who truly made him happy and tells them that they can no longer see each other.
His lover is left heartbroken at his decision and it causes them anguish to the point where they almost become a recluse and withdraw from society.
Hyungwoo is plagued by guilt so he tries to reunite with his lover, but his brother beats him to it and proposes to Hyungwoo's partner. They reject Yunho, causing him to lash out. Having never experienced rejection, he takes it badly and ends up murdering the elder brother’s lover out of rage.
When Yunho realises what he had done, he runs to Hyungwoo to help him cover his tracks. Hyungwoo feels numb after finding out his lover was dead. But he still helps his brother cover his tracks. After that he goes to his room and writes a letter confessing to the crime before taking his own life.
Yunho finds his body and the letter his brother had written. The letter details their relationship and how Hyunwoo kills his lover after he found out they didn’t love him. Yunho realises what happened and he is driven to insanity.
The play ends with a shot of Hyungwoo and his partner reuniting in heaven.
There were more characters and a deeper backstory explaining why the brothers were the way they were. It all came together so perfectly that Kim Seokjin had fallen in love with the story. He knew he was meant for this part. He just needed to breathe.
He looked at the casting team again. This time, he took in every member. There were seven people and an additional three people behind them. Some of his best friends—Kim Namjoon, Min Yoongi, and Jung Hoseok—were there, along with three polite acquaintances: Kwon Soonyoung, Park Jihyo, and Lee Taemin. And of course, the man of the moment, Lee Jihoon.
The faculty advisors were behind the panel: Kim Kibum-ssi, Choi Minho-ssi, and Lee Jinki-ssi.
A question finally broke Jin from his thoughts. "Jin-ssi, what role would you be auditioning for, and what are you performing for us today?"
"I am auditioning for the role of Yunho."
There was an audible gasp in the room. Jin was auditioning for the younger brother instead of the older brother. Jin looked around the room to see faces of confusion, but his eyes focused on the supportive smiles of his friends—Jimin and Jungkook.
Jungkook’s smile and thumbs up gave Jin the push he needed. Suddenly, he wasn’t worried about Woozi. Because his eyes were only on the doe-eyed boy who held his gaze with equal intensity.
"I will be singing 'Heather' by Conan Gray."
This time, Jin didn’t wait for a reaction. He broke into the song, pouring his soul into each lyric. He didn’t even realize how much the song had taken hold of him until it ended. He found himself kneeling on stage with tears in his eyes.
The room erupted into applause, even Woozi seemed to have a smirk on his face as he clapped. But Jin didn’t look at him because his eyes were searching for only person whose reaction he cared about. He was looking for him frantically, as he wasn’t in the same spot as before. Jin’s eyes finally locked with Jimin, who had a heartbroken look on his face. Jin was all too familiar with that look, so his eyes immediately fell down as he tried to slowly get back on his feet.
Woozi stood up and thanked him for the audition before explaining how the callbacks would work. But Jin’s eyes were still frantically searching the room. They finally landed on Jungkook, who must have left during his performance because he was now walking back with Taehyung.
Jin felt his heart break as he walked off the stage. He was immediately swarmed by people around him, telling him how amazing he was. It felt meaningless because the one person he wanted to hear from was too busy with his brother to even notice him. Jin nodded weakly at the praise as he walked to the seats where Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook sat.
"Hyung! You were amazing!"
Jin looked affectionately at his younger brother, who, unlike him, was dressed to the nines. He had on his best tailored suit, and his hair was red. He looked like a movie star in his own right. Taehyung immediately hugged his brother and patted his back, shouting praises about his performance.
"That was heartwrenching, hyung," Jimin’s melodic voice rang through the chaos. Jin understood the intended message behind the statement but didn’t acknowledge it. He felt Jimin’s eyes staring at him intensenly as Taehyung let him go.
He avoided Jimin’s gaze and turned his attention to Jungkook, who had the decency to look ashamed. He looked down and didn’t meet Jin’s gaze.
Jin couldn’t help the words that tumbled out of his mouth. Each word seemed loaded, and the minute they were uttered, the tension around them felt thick. Jin could hardly stand it, but he couldn’t help but project the sadness he felt from what he had seen and from his performance.
"What did you think, Jungkook-ah?"
He didn’t miss Jimin’s eyebrow raise. It was probably cruel because even Taehyung seemed a bit uncomfortable as he started to rub the back of his neck.
"I’m sorry, hyung. I missed it. Taehyungie wanted some Evian because it helps him before his audition. He was at the door, and he wanted to watch you, so I offered to go get it for him," Jungkook’s voice made Jin melt a bit because he sounded so upset. But Jin couldn’t bring himself to feel any less hurt by the gesture.
"It’s okay, Jungkook. Don’t look so sad."
Jin smiled and poked Jungkook’s cheek. The younger boy finally looked up at him with a soft smile, and Jin felt his insides turn to mush. He couldn’t be angry at Jungkook, even if he really wanted to. Even though he really wanted to be angry and hate him, he couldn’t never hate him.
"You know, Hyung, Jungkookie is also auditioning," Jimin piped in. He probably felt Jin’s longing stare would soon emerge if Jungkook continued to look at him with that smile. Jin was secretly thankful for Jimin’s awareness and his quick wit.
"You are?" Jin was quite surprised. Jungkook had never expressed any interest in acting. He mainly stuck to singing, dancing, and even rapping.
Jungkook’s cheeks were red as he fiddled with his hands. "I wanted to try something new," he said with a shrug but Jin didn’t quite buy that explanation. So he stayed quiet, not wanting to make the younger one any more uncomfortable.
Taehyung pulled Jungkook’s cheeks as he laughed. "He was practicing the whole night. If I heard the speech from 10 Things I Hate About You one more time, I swear I would’ve kicked you."
Jungkook blushed as Taehyung continued to praise him for how well his English diction was.
"Kim Taehyung!"
Woozi’s voice resounded through the theater, reminding all of them where they were.
"Well, that’s me. Wish me luck!" Taehyung said with his boxy smile, taking up most of his face. Jin patted him on the back, and Jimin gave him a quick hug.
Jungkook seemed to be possessed as he leaned into Taehyung and kissed his cheek, surprising all of them. With his eyes still on the floor, he whispered, "It’s a wish of good luck."
Taehyung smiled, seemingly unaware of the chaotic emotions both Jin and Jungkook were feeling in that moment. He happily continued onto the stage, stating his intention to play the older brother, Hyunwoo. He broke into Fiona Gallagher’s speech from Shameless, about raising her siblings and how her parents were never there. Then, he broke out into a mashup of the songs from Encanto.
Jin watched as Jungkook’s eyes barely left Taehyung throughout the performance. He felt Jimin’s hand hold his and squeeze it. He smiled at Jimin gratefully and turned back to admire his brother’s performance.
As Taehyung’s performance finished, the theater was once again filled with applause and cheers. The loudest cheers came from Jin, Jimin, and Jungkook, who yelled until their voices were hoarse, and Taehyung finally exited the stage.
"By the way, Kookie, what role are you auditioning for? Should I be worried that about you being my competition ?" Jin bantered good-naturedly with Jungkook. It had become so awkward between them that he wanted to restore the peace.
"The lover."
Jin felt his heart drop a bit. It finally made sense—Jungkook was trying to win his brother's heart. And now, Jin had a front-row seat to the boy he loved courting his brother. He didn’t think this could get any worse.
"Actually, hyung, I was hoping to ask a favor?"
Jin had a sneaky feeling that somehow, this was going to be so much worse.