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Kevin comes around slowly. His eyes remain closed and sticky at first, his head fuzzy. He knows he’s been passed out on the couch and he knows his cheek is pressed against a sequin cushion that has—without a doubt—left a strange pattern on his face. Kevin also has the sense that he’s not alone in the room.
He can’t hear any voices as such, but when he finally opens his eyes enough to squint, pushing himself up to stretch, his gaze lands on Jeremy and Jean. The two of them pressed together in a corner of the other couch, and both of them completely immersed in the other.
They won’t realise Kevin has woken up as long as he doesn’t purposely draw attention to himself, and he feels too exhausted to make any sharp movements. Whatever sleep he has gotten has only made him need more rest. But sleep can wait, he decides.
He doesn’t put much real thought into it, just gets more comfortable where he is, ready to watch his friends exist in their solitary world together. He knows this is likely the wrong thing to do, but he has never really abided by the right thing. If anything, what Kevin witnesses is Jean and Jeremy’s fault. At least Cat and Laila have the decency to disappear to their own room in this cabin they’re all staying in together.
Kevin puts his cheek back against the stupid cushion and gives himself an ideal view of the couple across the room. Jeremy is sitting sideways across Jean’s lap, with his hands on Jean’s shoulders and his face in the crook of his neck. There’s enough sound and movement from them that Kevin guesses Jeremy is kissing and sucking marks into Jean’s neck.
Jean has his eyes shut with his lips parted. If he opens his eyes, it’s possible that Kevin’s cover will be blown, but there is also a chance of Jean opening his eyes and not even noticing Kevin watching them. Because Jean is in a world just for him and Jeremy right now, and Kevin just doesn’t exist in that bubble. Kevin accepted that some months ago now, so fuck, if he can watch them from afar without them knowing then he can’t complain.
Jeremy rolls his hips over Jean’s lap, and just when Kevin begins to think that mustn't be the most convenient way for them to move against each other, Jeremy shifts. He lifts himself onto his knees on either side of Jean’s thighs and then plants himself back down, parallel to Jean. Jeremy nudges meaningfully against Jean’s crotch and draws a gasp from Jean's open mouth.
Jean wraps his arms around Jeremy, pulling him firmly against him while Jeremy continues to roll his hips. Now Kevin hears a muffled moan from the bleach blonde, muffled against Jean’s neck, and Kevin feels his cock twitch in his pants as he watches the pair with a fixed gaze.
One of Jean’s hands drops to Jeremy’s crotch then, and Kevin can’t see the details, but he can certainly imagine them. Jeremy’s breath catches in his throat in response to Jean's touches, and the muscles in Kevin’s legs and abdomen tighten further.
His cock is wedged between himself and the couch, so, biting the inside of his cheek, he slowly pushes on hand down to his crotch. He presses his palm against his bulge and fuck, rubs himself recklessly.
He’s only just grounded enough to watch Jeremy grind down on Jean with a hypnotic rhythm; Jean grabbing handfuls of Jeremy’s ass. They’re making obscene noises, which is already doing Kevin a favour because it just makes him harder and more turned on. The men’s volume even suggests they’ve completely forgotten Kevin is here with them, which is just another bonus because it means they might not stop—
Suddenly, Kevin has to close his eyes at the impropriety of it all, grinding down into his palm until he comes to an abrupt halt.
“We shouldn’t,” Jean has spoken with his accent as thick as the day Kevin had met him. “Kevin is here.”
Jeremy scoffs. “Kevin is asleep,” he argues. He sounds amused but there’s a certain edge in his voice which reveals him to be frustrated at the interruption.
Kevin’s eyes are still closed and he’s put a pause on any of his movements but he knows Jeremy must be touching Jean in some way because the latter suddenly chokes on his breath. It's practically a moan if he hadn't been so quick to silence himself. Kevin scowls into the cushion because he wants to be watching them, but he has no idea if they are looking at him or not.
“Well, he will wake up if you keep—” starts Jean.
“Keep what?” teases Jeremy.
Kevin’s eyes roll back in his head. He hopes to God that Jean and Jeremy don’t stop whatever it is they’re doing on his account. He can absolutely pretend to be asleep if that’s what it takes.
“Just stop,” Jean says sharply, almost panicked.
“Okay,” Jeremy concedes softly. Then there’s a shift of fabric, which could mean anything. “Are you sure? You’re so hard, Jean."
“Jeremy,” utters Jean, sounding more vulnerable than Kevin’s heard him in months. Kevin wishes he could signal to them that they should continue their act; never mind him being there. But he can’t possibly do that without exposing himself. All he can do is lie there and hope, with his cock aching and trapped beneath his body.
Some more shuffling on Jean and Jeremy’s couch makes Kevin pay attention to them again; he wonders if he should dare open his eyes, but he should at least wait until they’ve definitely stopped talking about him. With any luck, they will get distracted with each other again and forget he’s there.
But silence just draws out for so long that Kevin starts counting seconds in his head. He’s even about to give in and open his eyes. It would end the current situation in a blink but at least he would be free to go to his room to get off properly.
Then he hears the distinct sound of a zipper being pulled, and it’s followed by an even more evident moan from Jean. Jeremy hums in return before… fuck, taking Jean’s cock in his mouth? Kevin wonders wildly. The wet sounds make it seem like that could be it, but Kevin is more or less losing his mind now so he’s not sure he should believe the vivid images he’s conjuring up in his mind.
Not being able to see anything that’s actually going on is downright infuriating, so before he can change his mind, Kevin opens his eyes and takes a peak.
He observes that he had been right about one thing. Jean is still sitting on the couch, the difference now being Jeremy kneeling on the floor in front of him. He is sitting back on his heels with his back to Kevin and his mouth around Jean’s cock. Jean’s head is hanging forward so Kevin can’t see his face, and his hands are deep in Jeremy’s hair. Jeremy’s own tanned hands are placed firmly on Jean’s newly bare thighs as his head moves up and down the length of Jean’s cock.
Kevin’s body squirms and he longs to be invisible so that he can sit here and jerk off whilst he watches them without having to think about being seen in return. But now that he has his eyes on them again, he opts for rutting against the couch cushion. It’s a pathetic attempt at getting off; his moves are limited by fear of being noticed, and his attention is too fixed on the couple in front of him to even get his own bearings.
Seeing them together now is possibly more tormenting than just listening to them a moment ago was. Maybe he should have just blocked them out entirely before, but now it would be impossible to tear his gaze away. It feels like a curse has been cast on him, but on the other hand, knowing Jean and Jeremy aren’t looking at him—possibly having moved past his presence with them already—means Kevin is also rather…content.
He would be kicking himself later if he ruined this. Surely he can sit still and keep watching even if his cock is throbbing in his sweatpants, and then he can jerk off to the memory later. That’s not a bad scenario, Kevin reasons, bringing his body back under control, removing his hand from down by his crotch and going still.
Jean, hunched over himself, is making aroused and desperate noises that Kevin can’t get enough of. Not to mention Jeremy who keeps gagging on Jean’s cock, sounding like pure sin as he chokes and sobs; and Kevin can hear the saliva, even if he can’t see it. Maybe he can come in his pants without even trying to get off.
He wishes he was filming them, or recording audio at least. Then he scolds himself for the thought. Watching them in real-time without them knowing is bad enough, surely. But aren’t they the ones doing this knowing Kevin is in the room with them? This is hardly his fault. They think he’s asleep, sure, but even an asleep Kevin could wake up at any moment and see them like this.
“Quiet,” Jean hisses at Jeremy when the blowjob turns particularly loud and wet.
Kevin has to bite his lip hard to control his urges, and he only just manages to smother a moan at the sight of Jean holding down Jeremy’s head with his cock deep down his throat. Jeremy starts to gag but Jean doesn’t let up until Jeremy reaches upward and squeezes Jean’s arm. Jean lets go of the back of his head, and Jeremy comes off him gasping for air. Kevin pictures tear tracks down his cheeks.
“That’s not being quiet,” Jeremy says, his voice raw, holy fuck.
“Désolé,” Jean answers, although his tone is entirely unapologetic.
Jeremy makes a disgruntled comment that doesn’t reach Kevin’s ears. For a moment he wonders if they’re about to stop all this—though Kevin is certain that Jean hasn’t come yet—but Jeremy lowers his head again swiftly. His mouth swallows down Jean’s cock in one go and Jean gasps, his hands returning to Jeremy’s hair.
Jean gets enough grip so that he can thrust his hips up from the couch to fuck Jeremy’s throat. “That’s it,” he coaches.
Kevin’s cock twitches helplessly until he gives another go at rutting into the couch he’s on, biting the inside of his cheek again. His eyes wander away from Jean and Jeremy for a brief moment, but then they’re back on them, and suddenly he’s meeting Jean’s fierce gaze.
Kevin gasps in surprise, loud and drawing the attention of Jeremy who pulls off Jean’s cock with a sharp movement and twists his neck to look back at Kevin.
“Oh,” Jeremy utters, shocked, then he grins as he shrugs and says: “Sorry.”
It takes an awkward amount of time for Kevin to find his voice, and then all he can manage is a humiliating: “Don’t stop.”
He wonders what they’re seeing when they look at him. If they can tell he’s half attempting to get off too, or if they can’t tell that much and think he has been motionlessly watching them. Do they even realise Kevin has been watching them, or do they think he woke up just a moment ago? Based on Jean’s gaze already being on Kevin—his jaw dropped open—when he looked back at them, it’s likely that Jean at least saw Kevin thrusting his hips into the cushion.
Unexpectedly, Jeremy laughs. “Yeah?” he questions Kevin, eyes light and amused.
Kevin’s answer must be written across his face because Jeremy turns casually back to Jean, who still hasn’t spoken. Jeremy must be waiting for some kind of approval from Jean because Jean looks from him to Kevin and back again before giving a hesitant nod.
Without a word, Jeremy drops his mouth onto Jean’s cock again. With a choked moan, Jean’s hips thrust upwards to meet him. And Kevin mindlessly accepts his fate.
He wriggles onto his side, propping his head up with his elbow on the cushion, getting a better view of the couple, and stuffing his other hand down his pants to get off.
There’s no point in being shy now. He’s already admitted he wanted them to continue what they were doing, which was an entirely bold statement that he knows he shouldn’t have made.
Jean keeps eye contact with him more than he doesn’t, though, and it’s distracting. Kevin’s arousal increases because first of all Jeremy really had made an artwork of Jean's neck, leaving reddish marks on his skin; but also Jean’s gaze is so heavy on Kevin that he can feel the pressure like a blanket.
He’s gotten something similar to that look from Jean before, but this is something else entirely. Likely due to Kevin running his hand over his cock, and the fact that Jean’s cock is down Jeremy’s throat.
Or maybe this particular look Kevin is receiving is because of something else. It crosses Kevin’s mind that maybe Jean doesn’t really want him involved in this, but here Kevin’s been getting off on it anyway.
He shudders at the thought. “Jean,” he says, although it comes out more like a moan. “Jean,” he tries again. Better this time, but a moment later he is clenching his jaw at the sensation of rubbing his thumb over his tip. He manoeuvres himself to slouch against the back of the couch, freeing his other hand to shove his fist between his teeth, biting his flesh to try and stop a loud moan from escaping him.
Jean gives a distracted whimper in response, closing his eyes and tilting his head back against the back of the couch. He looks a bit calmer now, less like a frightened animal. Jeremy continues to suck him off, seemingly none the wiser to the tension between Kevin and Jean. “I’m close,” Jean utters, his breathing getting sharper as he starts raising his hips to thrust again.
Jeremy takes it, humming around Jean’s length and rising slightly so he’s fully kneeling on the wooden floorboards. He seems to double his efforts, and Kevin can’t tear his gaze away.
Partially he wishes he was at a better angle to be watching them. Frustratingly he can’t see Jean’s cock appearing and disappearing into Jeremy’s mouth. Though Kevin’s imagination has never been better than right now. So he at least pictures Jean’s length, throbbing and covered in saliva.
“Come, Jean,” Kevin blurts. He sounds demanding enough that he’s ashamed of himself, but the desire to see the face Jean makes when he comes down Jeremy’s throat is just too appealing for Kevin to be able to control his mouth.
Jean moans in a way Kevin hasn’t heard before. It’s more of a desperate whine and Kevin has to let go of his cock to stop himself from coming on the spot. His other hand is pressed against his chest like he’s trying to keep his heart from beating right through his ribcage, and he just watches Jean. He watches the way his face contorts, his brows furrowing together and mouth falling open in a silent moan as he orgasms.
Jeremy doesn’t stop his efforts, sucking and swallowing until Jean pushes him off by his shoulders. Jean is still panting as he comes down, and he and Jeremy take a moment that’s…
Well, it’s just from them, Kevin realises. Jean and Jeremy stare at each other like Kevin isn’t there. And he should probably take the hint and start minding his damn business, but he just keeps watching them, almost in a trance. He takes his cock back in hand and gives the couple absolutely nothing by means of privacy.
He’s happy like that, he decides and closes his eyes as he tries to finish himself off. He was right about the memory of Jean and Jeremy being enough to get him going, but he’s suddenly interrupted when something knocks against his foot near the floor. Kevin’s eyes snap open and Jeremy is standing there in front of him, leaning forward with his face barely an inch from Kevin’s.
“This won’t do, Kev,” Jeremy says. His gaze is piercing as he stares at Kevin.
“Sorry,” Kevin replies automatically, his cheeks going red as he realises that Jeremy must think he’s all wrong in the head for this after all. “I’m sorry. I was just—just…” he trails off. He has no defence, and he only just remembers to let go of his still-hard cock, pulling his hand out of his pants and placing it on his knee so he can dig his fingers into his flesh until it hurts instead.
“That’s not what I mean,” Jeremy says with a laugh. He’s smiling widely all of a sudden, and taking a seat on the spare bit of couch by Kevin’s legs.
Kevin’s mind is whirling with confusion, and that’s even before Jeremy leans back in and catches Kevin’s mouth with his own in a bruising kiss. Kevin’s aware of Jean still sitting on the opposite couch, pants pulled back up and arms crossed over his chest with caution as he watches Kevin and Jeremy. But then Kevin’s completely swept up in Jeremy kissing him. His lips are a solid force against him, and it feels so good that Kevin starts thoughtlessly reaching for him.
He places a hand on the side of Jeremy’s neck, and then he’s pulling and pulling until Jeremy’s crawling on top of him to get closer. Their legs are a tangled web, and Jeremy’s barely holding himself up on one arm planted by Kevin’s head as his other hand creeps down their bodies and presses against Kevin’s crotch.
Kevin’s skin is burning all over and all he can functionally do is keep kissing Jeremy, hold him close and thrust his hips up blindly to rub against Jeremy’s palm. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he chants. He feels crazed with a sense of freedom; now that he’s not trying to stay hidden from Jeremy or Jean. He knows his whole world will probably come crashing down on him within the hour, in the aftermath of this, so he starts moving with new vigour, desperate to make the most of this moment.
Jeremy is a breath of fresh air above him. He’s laughing as he kisses Kevin thoroughly, turning his lips numb. His hand on Kevin’s cock, even through the material of his pants, feels fucking electric. Kevin’s cumming before he realises it, moaning into Jeremy’s mouth as his body tries to curl in on itself. Jeremy drops all of his weight on Kevin, effectively holding him down, and keeps kissing him through his messy orgasm, making Kevin feel sedated by the press of their bodies together.
Kevin gives a butchered attempt at saying Jeremy’s name before his body seems to just go limp and his head falls back against the cushion as Jeremy hovers over him. A smile plays on Jeremy’s lips as he holds Kevin’s gaze, and Kevin only manages to look away when he sees movement out of the corner of his eye.
Jean approaches them with hickeys on his neck and his fingers twitching at his sides. Kevin doesn’t know what to make of this—doesn’t know how to feel, and then it hits him that he wants Jean’s touch carnally and nothing else matters.
Jeremy might sense this because he pushes himself up slightly so he can reach out to Jean, and then hauls him the rest of the way towards them. Jean topples onto the couch, into Jeremy’s side and half on top of Kevin.
Jean makes a stressed noise but Kevin is struck dumb by his closeness. Then Jeremy turns his head to kiss Jean and it’s a worthy distraction whilst Kevin takes a moment to collect himself. He wants to kiss Jean too, but when he tries to move up the couch to attempt this, he finds his body is trapped.
Jeremy finds this hilarious, laughing as he breaks away from Jean. He tilts his body to the side, slipping between Kevin and the back of the couch. Jean can now push his body up and hover above Kevin. There’s a beat where Jean and Kevin exchange a look that speaks of a whole history that exists between them. It’s theirs and it's more confusing now than it was been before; if that’s even possible.
Then Jean is kissing him. It’s entirely all-consuming. The sensation, the notion that Jean is kissing him, leaves Kevin feeling emotionally moved by it before he’s properly processed that it’s happening.
Jeremy coos at them both, stroking Kevin’s cheek as he watches him and Jean kiss. Being cornered by them is a feeling Kevin never wants to let go of. It makes him fucking hungry. He craves more, craves for it to last forever. With that in mind, he kisses Jean harder, moving his head to press their mouths together in different ways, to push closer to him. He feels Jean’s lips form a smile against him, and Kevin’s heart beats faster. He wonders briefly if he’ll end up with an injury that takes him off the court just from kissing Jean, and he forces himself to part his lips from him. He catches his breath and tries to make sure he’s still feeling okay.
He realises he’s not at all okay. He feels fucking insane. He hasn’t really managed to catch his breath either, and his head is spinning and all he can comprehend is that Jean is looking down at him, slightly wide-eyed, panting. Kevin wonders what he’s thinking, and he wonders Is this it? Is this all that will ever happen between them, one kiss? One absolutely soul-crushing kiss that made the world stop turning for at least a moment. The thought of it makes Kevin shiver with a sudden, dreadful chill. Please don’t let this be it, he thinks.
He thinks about the history between them again. The longing, the impossibility. He thinks about if he had been brave, strong, and bold enough to take Jean with him when he left the Ravens. He thinks about Renee being the one to dig Jean out of his grave, and he thinks about Jeremy. He’s here with them both now, after everything; holding their hands through this as if he knows they both need him to.
Kevin would never have thought Jeremy could be the answer to this. At first, Jeremy had been a friend to him, maybe a forever friend, and then he’d at least been the answer for Jean. Kevin had given Jean to him and knew Jean would be looked after. Then Kevin almost hated Jeremy, sometimes—because why was it so easy for him to give Jean what he wanted? Kevin had wanted to do that too, many times at Evermore and since. It had just never been the right time, it was always something they shouldn't have done, shouldn’t be doing.
California was different though. In California, Kevin no longer had a say over Jean. He couldn’t tell him that he couldn’t have what he wanted. He thought it might be good for Jean, even if it wasn’t good for himself. All this has made him realise he might have liked knowing Jean was at Evermore. Then he always knew where Jean was and what he was feeling. And that Kevin seems to wish something so awful upon Jean, as if the time Jean had spent with the Ravens wasn’t bad enough already, was why Jeremy being what Kevin could never be is exactly what Kevin deserves.
Kevin was selfish and cruel, and Jean didn’t need him. He certainly shouldn’t want him, either, so what was this all about then? Why had Jean kissed him like that? Why was Jeremy sitting there and letting this all happen?
“What’s wrong with you?” asks Jean, suddenly. He’s still staring down at Kevin, but now his brows are furrowed with worry and Jeremy’s beside him, mirroring that same expression.
“What?” responds Kevin, dumbly.
Maybe he and Jean spent too much time together in the nest because Kevin finds he can read Jean’s next expression easily as: Later. The message is gone in a flash, and then Jean just fucking smiles at him, glancing at Jeremy and then back again before telling Kevin: “Jeremy’s still hard, we should get him off.”
Jeremy makes a choked, startled noise and the freckled skin over his cheeks and nose turns red. “Shut up,” he mumbles, but Jean’s already moving to sit by Kevin’s legs.
Jean sends one firm look at Kevin and Kevin finally finds the ability to move his body again. All he has to do is sit up and tuck his legs under him and then he and Jean have Jeremy between them, still looking flustered.
Jean moves first because Kevin is stunted after everything that’s happened already, and he kisses Jeremy hard on the mouth. Kevin watches their lips get gradually slicker for a moment, and then from the corner of his eye catches Jean’s hand pulling down Jeremy’s pants just enough to get his hand around Jeremy’s cock.
Jeremy groans, satisfied, and Kevin drops his head forward before he can think twice about it. He presses his tongue against the tip of Jeremy’s dark and pretty cock, and Jeremy moans and thrusts his hips up aimlessly in response.
“Oh, Kevin,” he says. His tone comes off as affectionate, catching Kevin off guard enough that he turns his neck to look up at Jeremy to scope out his facial expression. Kevin manages to keep his tongue on Jeremy’s length, licking him. Jeremy meets his gaze, wide-eyed with his jaw dropped open.
Jean’s face appears too. He looks down at Kevin with a smirk. “Good boy,” he says and when did he get so fucking confident? Kevin wonders as his eyes roll back in his head and he hums a noise against Jeremy’s cock. Jeremy jerks his hips up again, and Jean plants a hand against his abdomen to keep him still. “You can do better than that, Kevin,” Jean says, still looking at him.
Kevin’s not sure that he can. “I haven’t…before."
“Irrelevant,” says Jean with a hint of disdain. “You excel at everything.”
That makes Kevin feel good, so he trusts Jean and goes in for it—or down on it, in this case. Tentatively he takes Jeremy into his mouth, moving his tongue around him exploratively until he feels hands in his hair. They might belong to Jeremy but Kevin isn’t altogether sure. He remembers seeing Jean holding down Jeremy’s head when he had been sucking him off, and he thinks he might want to experience that too but he doesn’t quite know how to ask for it. So he just tries to get Jeremy off the best he can and lets the fingers in his hair grasp at the black strands.
He’s pathetic enough that he believes Jean means it when he thinks Kevin will excel at this—even though Kevin knows there are many things he doesn’t excel at, like not fucking up his relationship with Jean. Although that’s never felt like less of an issue than it does right now. Jean’s promise of later has reassured Kevin to the core. Anything that needs to be said, will be said later, after this, after Jeremy has come.
Which won’t be happening yet because Kevin has to pull off the moaning Jeremy to catch his breath. He’s panting although he’s not sure he should be; he feels like he’s done nothing. He’s trying to figure out how he can be better at this when Jean gets a fistfull of his hair and pulls his head further up until he’s sitting upright.
Jean has some height over Kevin which makes Kevin fluster embarrassingly. It’s soothed when Jean starts kissing him again, tongue feeling against Kevin’s lips, tasting Jeremy on him. A whine slips from Kevin at the thought, and then Jean takes his hand in his own. Kevin’s confused, and endeared, and then turned on when Jean guides his hand back to Jeremy’s cock.
Kevin inhales sharply and then continues to kiss Jean as they move their hands together up and down Jeremy’s length. Jeremy thrusts his hips upwards in sync, making loud sounds of arousal that make Kevin grin against Jean’s lips. Jean laughs and Kevin feels like he’s catching a breath of fresh air.
“Kevin,” Jeremy cries, and then he’s coming all over Kevin and Jean’s hands. Jeremy’s hips jerk and one of his hands fist the front of Kevin’s shirt. Kevin parts his lips from Jean, although he still holds his hand and gives it a squeeze, before kissing Jeremy. Jeremy returns the gesture, panting into Kevin’s mouth for what feels like hours before he finally throws his head back against the back of the couch.
Kevin meets his gaze and becomes aware of just how hard his heart is beating when he looks at Jeremy’s dazed expression and his bright red cheeks. He feels Jean squeeze his hand again and he looks at him, feeling a rush of affection at Jean’s pleased and earnest expression.
“We have some cleaning up to do,” Jean says, his tone is passive but his eyes tell an entirely different story, and just like that Kevin knows he never wants to be apart from him, or Jeremy, ever again.