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Lan Xichen can’t believe his ears.
That is not Cleansing.
Too many emotions roll through him at once, guilt and betrayal rising like a tidal wave threatening to consume him. He steps around the corner while sliding Shuoyue into its sheath, and Jin Guangyao’s eyes go impossibly wide. If he were anyone else, Lan Xichen would not have entrusted his clan’s secrets to him. He taught Jin Guangyao Cleansing precisely because he knew san-di was too clever to play any incorrect notes. He has played every sound correctly in Lan Xichen’s presence over a dozen times.
Which means that he is intentionally playing it wrong.
Lan Xichen has no time to grapple with this devastating discovery, because Nie Mingjue lets out a sudden, terrifying scream and begins swinging his saber wildly. Two Nie disciples have fallen by the time Lan Xichen is able to will his body into motion. He unsheathes Shuoyue while yelling, “Huaisang, get out of here! A-Yao…”
He isn’t sure what he wants Jin Guangyao to do, and the indecision from his breaking heart nearly costs him an arm. He dodges the blade of Nie Mingjue’s saber just in the nick of time. “Da-ge,” he says imploringly. His eyes burn with tears that he struggles to blink away. “It’s me. It’s Xichen. Please.”
For a second, Nie Mingjue hesitates. His sclera are a haunting shade of red, blood vessels bursting, and a small trickle of blood drips from his nose. Gnashing his teeth, he takes another swing at Lan Xichen, which he is barely able to avoid. “Mingjue-xiong, you have to calm down!”
Words are of no use to someone who is suffering a qi deviation. Lan Xichen sighs and sets his jaw, resigned to fighting back, for Nie Mingjue’s own good. It is one of the most difficult battles of his life, in no small part due to the fact that he is specifically aiming not to kill. But Lan Xichen eventually manages to dart behind Nie Mingjue, putting him in a hold that forces him to drop his saber. There’s no way for him to get a hand on Nie Mingjue’s wrist, but Lan Xichen does his best to transfer his own spiritual energy in their current position.
Little by little, the fight leaves Nie Mingjue. Chest heaving from the exertion, Lan Xichen has no idea how long they stay like this before Nie Mingjue’s weight slumps heavily onto him. Lying him carefully onto the ground, Lan Xichen can finally grab his wrist to get a better feel of his meridians.
His mouth sets in a grim line. Nie Mingjue is not out of the woods yet.
“Er-ge!”
Jin Guangyao is the last person Lan Xichen wants to deal with currently. He shoots a contemptuous glare over his shoulder that stops his younger sworn brother dead in his tracks. “I know what you did,” he says through clenched teeth. “And I will deal with you later.”
Jin Guangyao has the audacity to appear hurt by Lan Xichen’s words. “Er-ge…”
Nie Huaisang has come back as well. “I-is he going to be okay?” he asks. Tears are streaming down his face. Unfortunately, Lan Xichen does not have time to reassure him.
“He can be saved.” Picking Nie Mingjue up as gently as he can, he mounts Shuoyue. The sword dips as he steps up, but it is thankfully strong enough to hold them both. “I have to take him to Cloud Recesses. Huaisang, I need you to stay here to keep everyone calm.”
“But I–”
“You can do it,” Lan Xichen assures him. Nie Huaisang is so much more competent than he will ever let anyone believe. “Just let them know that da-ge’s health is precarious, but I’m going to do everything I can to save him. Lead them.”
With one final glance on Jin Guangyao, his sword rises. The extra weight slows Shuoyue down, more than doubling the time it takes to get from Qinghe to Gusu. Lan Xichen has to split his focus between flying and steadily pouring a small stream of spiritual energy into Nie Mingjue’s unconscious body. He only has to hold on a little bit longer.
A pair of his clanmates on guard duty rush up to greet him and are shocked to see the man passed out over Lan Xichen’s shoulder. He doesn’t have time to explain the situation fully and just shouts back as he runs, “I’m taking him to the cold spring. Please keep everyone far away.”
The cold spring is, as expected, deserted. “Forgive me, da-ge,” murmurs Lan Xichen as he tears at Nie Mingjue’s clothes in his haste to get him into the water. He treats his own clothes marginally better.
The freezing water is bracing as Lan Xichen wades into its depths. Still sharing his qi with Nie Mingjue, he apologizes again and again. Then, he unceremoniously dunks him under the water, head and all.
It takes an agonizingly long time for Nie Mingjue to wake up, but when he does, it is with kicking and screaming. Lan Xichen lets go of him and allows him to get to his feet, shuddering against the cold.
“Xi…chen?”
Good. There is recognition in his eyes, at last.
“Welcome back, da-ge,” Xichen says with a relieved smile that fades quickly when he remembers the next part. “You’ve suffered a qi deviation. I managed to avert the worst of it…but you’re still at risk.” He pauses, choosing his words carefully. “There is a technique I read about in my clan’s Room of Forbidden Books. I would like to try it with you, but…”
“But?” Mingjue prompts. His voice is hoarse and tired, and he looks as if he will fall over at any minute. He finds his way to the wall and uses it to hold himself upright, shivering.
“It’s a dual cultivation practice.”
“I see.”
A tense silence hangs over them. Finally, Nie Mingjue says, “You don’t have to do it, you know.”
“What are you saying?” Lan Xichen bursts out, slightly hysterical. “It’s the only way to save you. Of course I’ll—”
Nie Mingjue’s face twists, some of his earlier fury returning. “I don’t need a pity fuck, Xichen!”
“It’s not a pity… It’s not that!”
“What else could it be, other than an obligation?”
Lan Xichen lets out a surprised laugh. “I’ve wanted to fuck you since I was fourteen—since before I knew what the word meant!”
Nie Mingjue goes terrifyingly still, not quite meeting Lan Xichen’s gaze.
His secret is out in the open, but there’s no time for embarrassment. Lan Xichen would happily divulge every secret he has ever kept in order to keep the man he loves from dying.
“You came to Cloud Recesses to study when I was fourteen, and…I’ve loved you ever since,” Lan Xichen admits quietly. “This isn’t exactly how I wanted to announce it, but…whatever.”
Nie Mingjue goes so still and quiet that, for a moment, Lan Xichen fears his qi has become further imbalanced. “Da-ge?”
Grabbing Lan Xichen by the shoulders, Nie Mingjue’s gaze is almost as wild as when Lan Xichen arrived at the Unclean Realm. He shakes him hard enough that Lan Xichen’s head rocks forward and back, but there’s no killing intent in his actions. “Why did you never say anything?!” he demands.
Before Lan Xichen has time to answer that he didn’t want to ruin their friendship by making unwanted advances, Nie Mingjue’s mouth is crashing into his. Hard.
Too hard.
“Ow.” Lan Xichen brings a hand up to cover his likely bruised lips.
Nie Mingjue looks mortified. With comically wide eyes and flushed cheeks, he opens his mouth to say something, but a sudden wave of pain makes him double at the waist. He collapses against the wall, elbow scraping roughly against unforgiving rock. Lan Xichen winces as he rushes to support his weight.
“Da-ge.” He maneuvers Nie Mingjue’s body so that his lower back is supported by the rim of the cold spring. Nie Mingjue leans back, resting his weight on his forearms. His head is lolled forward, and Lan Xichen pushes his hair, which has come unpinned, away from his face. Lan Xichen wipes it away and tries calling to Nie Mingjue a few more times. When he gets no response, he mutters to himself. “I guess we’re doing this, then.”
He rests a hand against Nie Mingjue’s chest and feels his heart hammering away in his chest, much too fast. Letting a tiny amount of spiritual energy flow from his fingertips, Lan Xichen trails his hand along the line of a meridian until he reaches Nie Mingjue’s golden core, which churns and flickers, unstable. It reacts violently to Lan Xichen’s qi at first, but it calms slightly as he steadily pours in more energy. It’s not enough, however, and Nie Mingjue will still be at risk of dying if something is not done quickly.
“Forgive me, da-ge,” Lan Xichen murmurs, bringing his other hand up to cup Nie Mingjue’s cheek and pressing their lips together, much more gently than before. Nie Mingjue’s mouth is surprisingly soft, and his lips part slightly as he inhales. “You never agreed to this, but I’ll shoulder the consequences later.”
The hand on Nie Mingjue’s cheek traces his strong jaw, the sharp jut of his larynx. It ghosts over his collarbone and through a soft patch of hair, and Lan Xichen can’t resist pausing to feel the supple-yet-firm muscle of his chest. Realizing that he’s distracted, he shakes his head and withdraws his hand. Then, he submerges it in the freezing water, finding Nie Mingjue’s cock and squeezing. He’s not hard initially, but it twitches after a few experimental twitches. It fills out gradually in Lan Xichen’s hand until he can barely wrap his fingers around it.
“Holy shit,” he says under his breath, breaking Rule #734: Do not use profane language.
Nie Mingjue lets out something dangerously close to a whimper. Lan Xichen kisses him again and is pleased when it gets a reaction, Nie Mingjue’s lips tentatively moving against his. It seems encouraging, at least, and Lan Xichen takes further consolation from the way Nie Mingjue pulses in Lan Xichen’s hand. Little by little, Nie Mingjue seems to be roused toward consciousness. It takes great effort for him to lift his head, and his eyes are bleary when they crack open to regard Lan Xichen.
“Feels…good,” he rasps, encouraging Lan Xichen to continue.
Lan Xichen leans against the other man, bringing as much of their skin into contact as possible. He breathes deeply, concentrating on the exchange of qi instead of the way Nie Mingjue’s fingertips trail along his lower spine. He must stay focused.
Now that Nie Mingjue is half-conscious, he’s able to kiss Lan Xichen back. It’s a bit sloppy and uncoordinated, whether from exhaustion or inexperience, but his lips are full and plush and kissing him is certainly no hardship. He lets out a low groan, and Lan Xichen feels his qi spike sharply. Releasing his cock, Lan Xichen can’t help but smile at the grumpy little mutterings he gets in response.
“I can’t let you…finish—” Heat flushes his cheeks. “—until you are more balanced.”
Still leaning back on the wall, Nie Mingjue brings his other hand up to grip Lan Xichen’s hip. It brings even more of their skin together, and Lan Xichen can no longer hide his own arousal. He feels terrible taking any gratification whatsoever from this situation, but his body reacts to the closeness, the nudeness, all the noises that Nie Mingjue is making, soft grunts and whimpers. Lan Xichen tries to be still, but his hips rock subtly back and forth, grinding against Nie Mingjue’s well-muscled thigh. Nie Mingjue’s qi surges once again, a bit less sharply than before. Again, Lan Xichen releases him and Nie Mingjue whines.
Drifting away from Nie Mingjue’s mouth, Lan Xichen mouths along his jawline, then litters kisses all over the column of his throat. He laps up the drops of water pooling the the dips of his collar bones, the lowers his head to lick a long, hot stripe along the length of his sternum, his tongue fitting between his pecs. Acting out of his own selfish interests, he brings his free hand up to cup one side of Nie Mingjue’s chest while he buries his face in the other, letting his teeth scrape across supple skin.
Nie Mingjue’s qi is still erratic, but it mingles with Lan Xichen’s, warming him from the inside out as it hums through his meridians. Lan Xichen is unbearably hard now, the cold water doing nothing to cool his passion, which swells and swells each time Nie Mingjue gets close to coming. The hand holding Lan Xichen’s hip releases it, only to grab his ass, squeezing and kneading and pulling Lan Xichen ever closer. The noises leaving Lan Xichen are less than dignified and might be heard by anyone passing by, but he can’t bring himself to care, caught up as he is in littering Nie Mingjue’s chest and shoulders with bite marks.
“Xichen,” Nie Mingjue moans, the first word he’s formed in a while. “Please.”
“Almost there,” Lan Xichen whispers against his lips. “Just like that. Da-ge, you’re doing so well. Just keep breathing. Focus on my qi.”
They share the same air, breathing in and out together, and their spiritual energy sings in harmony as it flows freely between their bodies. In all his research, Lan Xichen has failed to account for the overwhelming wash of sensation that has turned his legs to jelly. Nie Mingjue’s cock pulses and swells, but this time, Lan Xichen doesn’t pull away. He continues pumping, and Nie Mingjue all but screams as he comes. Their combined qi surges, perfectly in tune, and Lan Xichen grinds against Nie Mingjue as he shudders through his own rippling orgasm.
Both are breathing heavily for a long while after they’ve calmed down. Placing two fingers on the inside of Nie Mingjue’s wrist, Lan Xichen nearly collapses from the relief that floods him.“You’re safe for now, but maintaining balance and suppressing the saber spirit will take regular dual cultivation—proper dual cultivation.” He feels his face growing warmer. “With one of us inside of the other.” The cold springs aren’t exactly conducive for what Lan Xichen has in mind. Plus, the cold springs have already been misused enough for one day. Shufu will have a heart attack if he learns the full details of what transpired today.
Nie Mingjue snorts. “What an ordeal that will be. Come.” Wearing an exhausted grin, he pushes off the wall and begins dragging Lan Xichen toward the steps. “We should begin right away.”
Lan Xichen agrees.