Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Frank Langdon is five months sober, three months post-divorce when he steps back into the Pitt for a night shift, the first one since he got kicked out ten months ago. 

It had been a real fun ten months, oh yeah. The rehab had been grueling, draining, horrible. Look up definitions of bad on Google, scroll past the first two definitions that don’t speak to how fucking hard something is to do, and then pick any word on the third list. That’s how hard it had been. 

When he’d relapsed two months after going home the first time, well. It hadn’t felt any better the second time around, he can tell you that much. 

Abby had been considerably less inclined to work on their marriage after that, which Langdon had to concede was probably fair of her to feel. It’s not like they’d been at their best before Robby had busted him for stealing medication from patients so he was probably pushing his luck by getting her to agree to try after he came back home, the first time. 

The second time, she was done. 

She was very nice about it though, apologetic almost, which was more than Langdon felt he deserved. That wasn’t surprising really, Abby Langdon née Reagan had always been very kind and forgiving. 

I still love you very much Frank, she’d said. But I don’t trust you as a husband anymore. You can’t have a marriage without trust. 

Which was an incredibly fair opinion for her to have, even if it did hurt him at first. 

I’m probably always going to love Abby Langdon, he’d thought back then. You don’t marry someone you don’t think you’re going to love until the day you die. It’s literally part of the vows he and Abby had taken down at the courthouse a few short years ago, and Langdon might not still be religious but that still meant something to him. 

But the mother of his kids didn’t want him any longer, and he could understand why. Who was he to force her to stay in a marriage she didn’t want? Besides the drug addiction, Frank Langdon liked to think about himself as a pretty good guy.

So. Frank and Abby Langdon had gotten divorced without many complaints in the beginning of April, and that had been that. 

Well, not really. They still live in the same house, and eat meals together, and raise their kids together. Not much has changed really, besides the fact that they sleep in different rooms and don’t love each other. Not romantically at least. 

The decision to keep living together stemmed from two main reasons. First, it’d be easier to co-parent Tanner and Isabel if everyone was still living under the same roof and second, the Pittsburgh housing market had been a joke ever since the pandemic ended. It had just been easier for the time being to stick together. It’s not like either of them were looking forward to start dating again anytime soon. 

Easy. Convenient. Financially responsible. Everything he could ask for when he returned home for the second time, really. 

They also tell you during rehabilitation to avoid any major life changes during your first year of sobriety, so his therapist back at rehab probably wouldn’t love the fact that the first thing Langdon did after getting clean again was to sign divorce papers. He figured if he at least stayed with the kids, it would lessen the impact of the divorce and help keep some stable ground beneath his feet. 

He didn’t burden Abby with any of that though, he didn’t really see the point. 

So he also didn’t really see the point in telling anyone else about the divorce. He doesn’t need people to look at him and see an even bigger failure than they already do.

So, when Frank Langdon walks back into the Pitt on a Fourth of July weekend ten months after he left, he doesn’t tell anyone he’s gotten divorced in the first place. 

He and Abby took their rings off as soon as they signed the papers to help the feeling of finality of it all. Langdon has stored his in the very back of his wardrobe for the last three months, almost forgotten but not quite. 

In the parking lot of the PTMC, he puts it back on. 

Right, he thinks. You’ll be fine. Everything will be okay. 

“Okay!” Dr. Abbot says, clapping his hands and getting everyones’ attention in an instant. “Fourth of July, most of us know the drill by now and if you don’t, hang on tight. It’s probably going to be a rough one. Fireworks, alcohol, kids up way past their bedtime. Come to me if you absolutely need me, otherwise ask Dana. She runs this ship like the navy better than I ever could.” 

Then he walks off. This is exactly the type of leadership style that had had Langdon volunteer for a night shift for his first one back. 

That and the fact that he wouldn’t have to spend the entire shift dancing around Robby. They’re on amicable terms, somewhat, but that doesn’t mean Langdon’s eager to start the awkward lecture he knows he’s in for.

Instead, Langdon watches from further back than he used to, trying to draw as little attention to himself as possible as Dr. Abbot stalks off towards the ambulance bay. He’s hyper aware of every single one of his colleagues, the ones he recognises and the ones he doesn’t. There’s a few new green ones, med students probably, and a few faces he knows he’s seen before but can’t remember the names of. Residents who’ve switched to an EM rotation, probably. 

There’s Santos and Whitaker walking off towards pedes. Javadi looks more sure of herself than he remembers her to be, but he figures ten months will do that to anyone. He’s glad. 

He sees Shen working on someone in Trauma One, he’s been in there since Langdon clocked in with a couple of doctors he doesn’t recognise. New residents maybe, or new to EM anyway. He makes a mental note to ask for their names later, whenever they run into each other tonight.

He’s trying to be better, is the thing. He knows he’d acted erratically when he was last here and he’d love to blame it all on his drug addiction but he can’t. He’d been ambitious, driven, eager to prove that he was better than everyone else when really, he wasn’t. Collins, for one, is brilliant. Cassie had told him she’s going to be an attending in a matter of months so she’d clearly shone even brighter in his absence and Langdon knows she deserved it.

It did sting a little bit that she was leaving him behind in their residency class, but it’s not like he can fault her for it. It was less leaving him behind and more him jumping off the train without her, really. 

“Hey,” he says when he gathers up the courage and walks up to Dana. “Long time no see.” 

She smiles gently, if a bit pained. She’s obviously trying to hide it so he’s not going to call her out on it. “Welcome back, we’ve all missed you in here.” 

Langdon tries very hard not to snort. Not everyone. 

“Happy to be back,” he says instead. “I’ve missed you too.” If she picks up on the you in singular tense, she doesn’t mention it. 

“Here,” she says and slides him a Red Bull can. Langdon is suddenly very afraid he’s going to start crying in the middle of the Pitt. It’s cold when his fingers wrap themselves around it. “Thought this could help tonight.” 

“You remembered?” 

She smiles. This one seems more genuine. “Of course. Even if I hadn’t, she’s kept four of them in her locker since the day after you left.” 

Langdon pauses then, considering. Dana offers no explanation, no clarification so he has to ask for it himself. “Who?” 

“Dr. Langdon!” Someone says from behind him just as he’s waiting for Dana to answer. When he turns around only to see Dr. Mohan walking up toward him, a grin on her face that definitely seems genuine, he's relieved. “Welcome back. I hear we’re in the same residency class from now on, wanna stick with me this shift? I’ll help you get back into the swing of things, I know ten months out must feel like a lifetime around here.” 

God, Langdon’s regretted starting that horrible nickname for her for a while now, but at this moment he really regrets it. 

Still, he smiles back at her. “You wouldn’t mind sticking around for a whole shift with me Dr. Mohan? Don’t want to ruin your stellar reputation.” 

“Right, you wouldn’t have heard. My ‘stellar reputation’ has taken quite a hit since you’ve been away. Join me, I’ll tell you all about it when we have midnight lunch, though I doubt we’ll get to it by then.” 

Well, that’s intriguing. What could Mohan possibly have done to dent her reputation? Langdon can’t think of a single reason. 

“Well who am I to deny your company. What have you got for me Dr. Mohan?” 

She grins again, and he grins, and Dana grins when he turns back to her to give her a mock salute before following Mohan into North Seven and allowing himself to be pulled back into the chaos of the Pitt like he hadn’t been gone at all. 

They help a kid stumbling into the Pitt alone and shaking with a pretty severe case of dehydration that forces them to get the social worker on shift involved. There’s a couple of fractures that they set, a woman with a head lac and abrasions from falling down her stairs, and a man who comes in a bit later who’s taken a pretty severe punch to the face causing vision loss. It gets worse with every hour that passes as the celebrations escalate around the city, burns from fireworks having to be treated and alcohol-related injuries making them deal with extremely drunk patients at times. Some of them get violent enough that Langdon has to pull Mohan back out of the room in favour of calling security and others get handsy enough with Langdon that Mohan has to be the one to pull Langdon away and send someone else in. A fellow woman, usually Santos. Langdon figures her charming personality fits the ‘dealing with drunk women’ part of the job description better.

It’s obvious, the fact that Mohan is having them working the easier cases to help ease Langdon back into it. Her excellent bedside manner hasn’t changed in his absence and he’s glad to be on the receiving end of it for once. It’s nice to have someone looking out for him, even if he’ll never admit it to her or anyone else. 

Eventually though, it can’t be helped. A car crash victim comes into the Pitt by ambulance and wheeled into Trauma Two a little before midnight with three different major trauma sites and Langdon has to perform an emergency thoracotomy as they wait for surgery to come down to them. Mohan ensures there’s no spinal injuries by keeping her head steady and she’d been talking slowly when the woman kept going in and out of consciousness.

Notably before Langdon had to open her chest. 

She’d coded twice before he did that too. Hence the emergency thoracotomy that Walsh wasn’t very happy with when she finally came down to them but she’d, very reluctantly he might add, thrown a 'good job' over her shoulder to him as they wheeled the patient up to surgery so Langdon didn’t put too much stock into it. 

“You saved her life, Dr. Langdon,” Mohan said as they threw their bloody trauma gowns in the biohazard bin. “Clearly you still have the EM gene in you.” 

“Yeah,” his voice sounds delirious even to his own ears. “Apparently I do.” 

Midnight lunch ends up being at three am when it finally starts to slow down. They sneak up to the roof before anyone can stop them and Langdon lets the chilling Pittsburgh night. They can’t see the stars thanks to equal parts air pollution and climate change but the moon is bright above them as he sees Mohan tear the plastic away from the salad she’s having. 

“So,” he starts. “You wanna tell me about this hit your stellar reputation has apparently taken?” 

She glances up at him for a couple of seconds in silence. “You any good at keeping secrets, Dr. Langdon?” 

It’s nice of her, to pretend he didn’t keep the fact that he was stealing benzodiazepines from patients for a whole year and being sent away for almost as long of a time. Evidently he’s pretty good at keeping secrets. 

Or maybe he isn’t, since Dr. Santos caught him on her first day. Whatever. 

He also thinks about his wedding ring currently burning an invisible mark into his ring finger. 

“I’d say so. I’d tell you what secrets I’m keeping, but that would be counterproductive I think.” 

Mohan laughs. “Right. You wouldn’t be the only one who knows, but I also feel like you wouldn’t judge me, considering.” 

Considering. Yeah. “I’m trying to be less judgy these days.” 

“Good character trait to have, in my opinion,” she smiles. “Alright, here goes. I’m dating Jack,” she pauses when she clocks the confusion Langdon must be showing. “Abbot. Dr. Jack Abbot.” 

Oh.

“You’re dating an attending? Damn Mohan, guess we’re both rebels.” 

She laughs and steals one of the pieces of red onions he’s picked out from his sandwich. Abby made it for him and the fact that she even put them in in the first place feels slightly indicative of their failed relationship. 

Anyway. 

“Truly, I don’t know which one of us is worse.” Mohan grins. 

“How did that happen? I kind of suspected this before I left, to be honest, but I didn’t know you were interested too.” 

He can’t see it in this low lighting but he’s pretty sure Mohan’s blushing. 

“I wasn’t at the start. Or maybe more that I didn’t even consider it, I don’t know. We hadn’t really worked together that much before the MCI. That changed though, while you were gone,” here she pauses and looks up at him for a moment. Like she’s considering if she should say something or if it’s better to keep quiet. 

“I’m not saying I need to know the intricate details of your relationship with Dr. Abbot, Mohan, but if there’s something I should know, please tell me.” 

Her shoulders drop. “Getting you reinstated was a bureaucratic nightmare. HR wanted to, well,” Mohan cringes. “They wanted to cut their losses. When Dr. Robby advocated for you, they told him he was too close, that it was too personal for him.” 

Oh. That’s-. Right. Robby hadn’t told him about that, he’d said he’d managed to get them to come around the only time he came to visit Langdon in rehab, just to deliver the news. They hadn’t talked since. 

“I didn’t know that,” he says. 

“Yeah, I wouldn’t either, but then one day I was being sent up to HR, to talk about my low overturn rate,” she pauses again, eyes downcast. Langdon leans across the space between them to squeeze her shoulders. She smiles weakly. “Anyway. When I was up there, I heard a loud voice. The door was slightly ajar which is unusual so it made me pause, and as I was standing there I recognised Jack’s voice.”

“Jack Abbot?” he interrupts. Mohan laughs.

“Yes, Jack Abbot. He was defending you pretty hard core in there, said a lot of stuff I don’t want to repeat in part because that’s his business and in part because he used a lot of profanity. He looked pretty shocked when he eventually walked out and saw me standing there.” 

That’s a lot for Langdon to digest, the idea of Dr. Abbot liking him enough to go to bat for him with HR. That it’s him Langdon has to thank for being allowed back here. 

Why hadn’t he pulled Langdon aside before the start of shift to say something, anything, about it? 

He doesn’t want to put Mohan in an uncomfortable position by asking though, so he opts for humour instead. A tried-and-trued strategy in Frank Langdon’s book. 

“And, what? Dr. Abbot defending my honor did something for you?” He puts his hand on his heart dramatically and fakes a gasp. “I didn’t know I meant that much to you.” 

She reaches over and punches him lightly on his shoulder, laughing as she does it. “No," she says emphatically. “If you must know, it was just him caring so much in general. His sense of justice or whatever. That’s what did it for me.” 

Ew, he thinks but doesn’t say. 

“Is that why you’ve been so nice to me tonight? Did Dr. Abbot ask you to be?” 

Mohan hesitates for only a second but Langdon notices it anyway in the way her hand falters in midair slightly. Interesting. 

“No, he wasn’t the one who asked me.” 

Langdon’s eyebrow raises without him even having to think. “So someone else did?”

“That’s not what I meant,” Mohan shakes her head, tone a bit raised. She’s lying, he thinks. 

But Langdon’s trying to be a little less of an asshole these days, so he decides not to press her on it. She clearly doesn’t want to tell him so whatever it was must not want him to know. 

“Can I not want to be nice to you on my own,” Mohan says again when Langdon doesn’t answer. “I like you, and we’re in the same residency class now. Senior residents at that, we have responsibilities.” 

He snorts involuntarily. “I doubt anyone’s going to expect or even want me to teach them anything.” 

“Oh I don’t know, Robby kept it pretty quiet about your reasons for leaving. Maybe you won’t be expected to teach anyone in a professional capacity but there’s some people around here who’ve been singing your praises in your absence. The new students are actually pretty excited to meet the ‘Great Dr. Langdon’.” 

He lets his head fall back against the hard brick of the PTMC rooftop. “Great. More medical students, I’ve always been great with those.” 

That was one of his least favorite parts of his job, the teaching. He saw it as a distraction from what he actually wanted to do, which was saving lives. It was jumping from patient to patient as quickly as possible to keep the adrenaline rush going. It was letting the chaos of the Pitt embrace him, to have an excuse to shut the rest of the world out. 

Yeah, he can definitely understand why Abby wanted a divorce. 

There had been an exception though, he knows. He’d thought about her sometimes during both of his stints in rehab. What she was doing, how she was faring at the PTMC. He’d looked for her when he came in tonight but she was nowhere to be seen. Maybe she’d moved on, gone away to do her rotation somewhere else. It was hardly unusual during your residency years. 

Langdon had wanted her to stay though. He’d told her as much, in one of their last conversations. Said he needed her, god. He’d thought about that a lot too in the months since the floor of the break room. More than he probably should’ve considering he hadn’t been divorced yet. 

Oh well. It’s a damn shame, but it’s been ten months. What did Langdon think, that she would stick around for his hypothetical return? 

“You’ll do fine,” Mohan says to pull him out of his thoughts. “Maybe it will help stabilise you, give you new perspectives. I’ve been told you’re good at that.” 

Langdon huffs. “Whoever told you that is a dirty liar.” 

She’s quiet for a moment before using her fork to point at his now pile of red onion. “You eating those?” 

“Go ahead,” he pushes the wrapper towards her. “Go crazy.” 

They get exactly four more minutes before they’re both paged to a 15-people case of alcohol poisoning that’s stumbled through their doors downstairs and they get to throw themselves back into the chaos again. He loses Mohan somewhere in the middle of it and spends the rest of his shift with one of the new residents he hadn’t recognised before. He’s nice, Dr. Sawyer, but he’s no Melissa King. 

Yeah, it’s going to take a while for him to stop thinking about her, evidently. 

Langdon does his best to imbue some type of wisdom as they jump from case to case. He catches Mohan’s eyes across the floor a few times and tries to not smile at her encouraging grins and hidden thumbs ups she keeps sending him but he knows he mostly fails. In a strange way it kind of feels like being walked to school for your first day by your older sister who then sends you off to socialise with all the other new kids. 

It’s exactly what he didn’t know he needed today. Once again he regrets ever making fun of Samira Mohan’s excellent bedside manners, now that he’s been on the receiving end of her kindness.

“Hey,” he nudges Mohan by the lockers at the end of the shift. “You said I’m not the only one who knows about the-” he looks around to check that they’re alone. “You know.”

“Drive me home and I’ll tell you,” she smiles. So Langdon does. 

Apparently Dr. Abbot doesn’t finish for another couple of hours. Langdon’s not going to ask any questions, it feels like the least he can do for her in return. Besides, Mohan doesn’t live that far away from the hospital anyway, and he’s curious. 

Mohan’s a good person to bounce ideas off of, he learns as they debrief the second half of their shift together. It helps Langdon calm down from the high adrenaline he’s always left work with significantly, something to help distract him from the fact that his past coping mechanism gave him a drug addiction for life. 

It’s not until her building that he remembers the whole purpose of this. 

“So, who are they? The other people who know?”

She smiles, looking a little bit like she’s about to ruin his life and feeling sorry about it which isn’t really a look Langdon thought he was familiar with but can recognise anyway, and says “besides HR, only Mel.” 

The world stops spinning on its axis for a millisecond, long enough for Langdon to feel a bit dizzy. “Melissa King?” 

“That’s the one! We’ve grown pretty close during your absence, we’ve used each other to get out of our comfort zones. She actually helped me realise Dr. Abbot was even interested in me back. Couldn’t really avoid her knowing. She was also the one who was adamant we go to HR immediately, to do things ‘the right way’. She holds to her principles pretty hard.” 

That’s cute, Mohan thinking he was able to register anything besides the fact that Mel King still works at the PTMC. 

“No, I mean-” he exhales a breath he didn’t know he’d be holding. “I didn’t see her today, I figured she’d rotated to another speciality.” 

Mohan looks at him a bit funny. “No, I think she’s pretty much born for Emergency Medicine. She’s asked to do the rest of her residency with us.” 

“She’s staying?” 

“Yeah, she’s just gone for the Fourth of July weekend. Her boyfriend has a cabin up by Lake Erie so she’s up there for a few days, she’ll be back Wednesday.” 

Something hot and ugly drops to the bottom of his stomach, something he has no right to have in the first place. Fuck. Boyfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend.

“Oh,” he says. “That’s nice.” 

No, it’s not fucking nice. She’s going to come back and Langdon is going to get the privilege of looking at her again in something besides his own thoughts and oh my god she has a boyfriend. 

Maybe he should’ve just moved to another hospital. Maybe he should’ve just never come back here. 

Because here’s the thing: he’d been lying to himself earlier when he said that he only thought about her sometimes. It was more than a few times. She’s the main reason he didn’t really push Abby to try again after that second stint. 

But now he’s back, and she has a boyfriend. 

It’s not like he has any right to be angry or upset with the situation. They met once and he grew overly attached over the span of fifteen hours. It was one of the worst days of his life and she was the only good thing he had to hold on to.

Oh my god, just kill me now. 

Wednesday is so fucking soon too. He feels like he needs another month to adjust to this piece of information, to reorient his world around it. Her doing another rotation and him never seeing her again would’ve been better, at least then he could write it off as a one off, something to get him through rehab. 

Now he’s going to see her almost every day and he’s self-aware enough that it’s only a matter of time before he falls properly in love with her.

And she has a boyfriend. Right, well. That’s fucking unfortunate, isn’t it? 

“He’s nice, Henry,” Mohan is saying and Langdon had honestly forgotten she was even there. “British, moved here for a job years ago. They met on one of Mel and mine’s nights out a few weeks ago.” 

A few weeks ago. Fuck, he’d been back in Pittsburgh then. He’d already been divorced by then. If he’d run into her somewhere he could’ve asked her out, done anything to get back into her orbit. This all feels so fucking unfair. 

“And they went up to Lake Erie together already? That feels pretty serious for only having met a few weeks ago." 

Jesus christ, why the fuck would he ask that?

Mohan shrugs and undoes her seatbelt to get out of his car. “I think Mel just wanted to get away for a few days honestly. Becca wanted to go on a trip with her friends at the center, she’s in Philadelphia over the weekend and Mel didn’t want to feel lonely.” 

Langdon feels like screaming suddenly. He feels like banging his head against his steering wheel. He feels like driving his car into a ditch once Mohan is safely inside her apartment and staying there for the foreseeable future. She didn’t want to feel lonely? 

He’s angry for mainly two reasons. First, why couldn’t this wonderful, British, boyfriend keep her not lonely here in Pittsburgh? Why did he have to drag her away to an unfamiliar place just for her to have company? How fucking useless is he? 

Second, Langdon would never have her feeling lonely. God, he would never make her feel lonely in the first place. The fact that that might never be the case is killing him. 

“Lake Erie is nice this time of year,” is what he says instead. “It’s a good choice.” 

Mohan smirks at him for some reason. “It is, isn’t it?” 

God, he can’t keep talking about this. 

“Look, I’m battered and I really don’t want to kick you out of my car but I also don’t want to get into a car accident on the way home. Can we pick up this conversation next shift?” 

He wants to never talk about this again. He tries to communicate that with Mohan telepathically and hopes desperately that it works. 

She laughs and opens his car door. “Sleep tight Langdon, drive safe.” 

Then she’s gone and Langdon stays only long enough to see her apartment door close behind her before driving home himself. 

Abby’s awake when he gets in but she must see something on his face because she doesn’t try to strike up a conversation. Instead all she says is “I’m waking the kids up in an hour to take them to the park for the day, get some sleep.” Langdon nods, gives her a tight smile and heads for his own bedroom. 

Once he’s alone again he takes off his wedding ring and shoves it back into its box before shucking it into his bedside drawer, wanting to feel the weight of it gone. It has been freeing to not have it on him these last three months but now he’s not so sure anymore. 

God. Boyfriend.

He doesn’t scream into his pillow because that would be juvenile and he doesn’t want to wake the kids just yet, but it’s a near thing. 

The next month could be considered a study in self-inflicted torture. 

He tells Abby about Mel twelve days after Melissa King comes back to the Pitt. He warns her that he’s going to fall in love with her in the near future and he doesn’t know how to stop it. Abby asks about her, and Langdon goes on a tangent for fifteen minutes about the shade of gold in her hair under sunlight and the way her hands are steady whenever they work a case together. He tells her about one time they got coffee in the break room together on her very first day back, that cursed, blessed Wednesday, and she’d given him a warm smile and welcomed him back. 

It hasn’t been the same around here without you, Mel had said. I missed working with you. 

Langdon had gone home and replayed that conversation over and over in his head until he’d fallen asleep. Mercifully it had been another night shift so he wasn’t expected to socialise when he got in at six am in the morning. 

Abby listens, and laughs when she thinks Langdon is being a bit ridiculous, and then eventually asks if Langdon would like to revisit the decision to still live together. That’s when Langdon has to dump a proverbial bucket of cold water over himself and tell Abby that no, because Melissa King has a boyfriend already. 

Mel is also kind enough to never bring up her boyfriend around him. He doesn’t know why, but he’s not about to ask, is he? The less details he gets, the better. 

One thing Langdon can’t help but pick up on, however, is that this boyfriend of hers is never anywhere to be seen. 

While Langdon walks a tightrope between becoming Mel’s friend over shared breaks and shared patients and not allowing himself to get too close, if only to prevent the inevitable, her boyfriend never comes to pick her up. Never comes out with them when a few of them go out together. Langdon does, every single time, but Mel’s boyfriend never shows up. Langdon doesn’t even know what he looks like, which he’s dumb enough to ask about one day while they’re eating protein bars by the lockers to get some form of break in between patients. 

“So I heard from Mohan that you’re dating and it made me curious. What’s your type, Dr. King?” 

She’d looked at him for a long moment, long enough for Langdon to start thinking of ways to backtrack, when eventually she’d said “oh, I don’t know. Dark hair, blue eyes? Honestly, personality is more important to me.” 

She’d had the audacity to shrug after that, as if she hadn’t sent his whole world spinning. “Yeah, what personality?” he’d said before he could stop himself. 

Another long moment. “Good at his job, like really good, is one thing. Kind, funny, good with kids. Good with Becca. I don’t like cooking so it would be nice if he enjoyed doing that. That sort of stuff.” 

Langdon had, in that very moment, considered throwing himself into the Allegheny river. 

I’m almost all of those things, he’d wanted to scream. He was kind, wasn’t he? He knew he was funny, he’d made her laugh on their very first day together. Abby said he was good with their kids, it was one of the main reasons she still trusts him wholeheartedly with Tanner and Isabel despite the drug abuse. He’d only met Becca once but she’d given him a candle she’d made at the center so that had to be approval of some kind, right? He loves to cook, he cooks dinner for the kids and Abby most of the time before night shifts. And he has dark hair and blue eyes. 

Not for the first time in the past months, Frank Langdon abhors his drug addiction. Maybe if he hadn’t been sent away to rehab, he’d have been able to stop Mel from falling in love with someone else altogether. He’s her exact type, for god’s sake. 

He hadn’t said any of that out loud, in fact he hadn’t been able to say anything at all before his pager went off, calling him away for a major trauma incoming. It had provided the perfect escape, one he grabbed onto with both hands like it was a lifeline. 

Just as he’d turned to leave Mel had reached her hand out to grasp on to his bicep. The touch had almost paralysed him and he’d stared down at Mel’s hand in silent shock. Then, he’d managed to look her in the eyes as she’d said “I think you’re doing a really good job, Dr. Langdon. Not everyone can take almost a year off and come back to this routine as easily as you have. I want you to know that.” 

It had been all he could do to thank her before running away and throwing himself into Trauma One before he could say something really fucking stupid like I’m falling in love with you. He didn’t see Mel for the rest of the shift. 

He’s three months into his friendship with Mel that things start to worsen for him. Significantly. 

He loves her, is the thing. It’s just that by now, he loves her as a friend so much that he’s almost able to ignore the fact that she has a boyfriend that he has nightmares about sometimes. She doesn’t bring him up, and he never sees him, so everything is fine. Determinedly so, almost. 

Honestly, despite what Abby says, everything is completely fine. 

(Which, if you’re wondering, is also going fine. Actually fine, unlike that other thing that Langdon’s lying about. They’re actually friends again, unlike earlier where they were in this awkward in-between. Abby has even started going out on dates, so that’s great too. Langdon wishes he could do the same.) 

Mel and him work well together so well, a little bit too well maybe, in the Pitt. It’s kind of like how he’d worked with Mohan that Fourth of July shift ages ago but better. 

He’d loved working cases with Mohan, she’d been so good at helping him get back into the swing of things, but there really is no comparison to Melissa King. Not to Frank Langdon. 

By now they work so seamlessly together that Dana has started giving them the same patients without neither of them even having to ask. She’ll go up to Mel if Mel’s in-between patients to send her Langdon’s way if Dana thinks he needs help, and vice versa. It’s nice, to at least have this. 

When Mel needs a ride one day to Becca’s because her car broke down that morning, Langdon drives her without hesitation. He started to bring her lunches sometimes after she told him she doesn’t like to cook to make sure she lives off of something actually nutritious that doesn’t come pre-packaged and processed five different times. She keeps Red Bulls in her locker just in case he runs out on their night shifts and she’s given him her locker code for those rare days when they’re not working the same shift. 

They’re friends, is what he’s trying to tell you. 

And they are. Really. Up until that day in late October. On Halloween. 

“Shit!” Langdon exclaims as he reads Abby’s text once he’s finally done with his Halloween shift. He’s off early since he told Robby he’s supposed to be on trick-or-treat duty with Tanner and Isabel, which had seemed pretty sweet up until right this moment. 

(4:17 PM) Abigail

Slight issue, don’t panic. Isabel’s costume broke somehow and I’m on my way to check some stores for last-minute ideas but I feel like every store might be out considering this is LATE late. If you have any suggestions feel free to tell me though. 

I left both Tanner and Isabel with the neighbour, you know Anna, in case you get home before me. 

DON’T PANIC FRANK. 

“What?” Mel says next to him, voice filled with instant concern. “Is something wrong? Is someone hurt?” 

Langdon leans his forehead against the lockers so he doesn’t have to look at her. “No, it’s just Isabel. Her Halloween costume is broken apparently and Abby’s out looking for a replacement but this late,” he sighs. “This late everything will probably be sold out. Well everything she’d want anyway.” 

“Well, what would Isabel want?” Mel asks. 

Langdon snorts. “She’s four, Mel. She wants to be a pretty Disney princess like all of her friends.” 

Mel hums for a few seconds, long enough for Langdon to turn slightly with his forehead still against his locker to look at her again. Her braid is going to come loose any second, but she looks so beautiful he can’t find it in himself to care. She’s staring at his left hand that’s laying flat against the metal, for some reason.

“Well, I can’t help with that, but I have an idea. Drive me home and I’ll help you out?” 

She says it like she thinks he’s going to say no. There’s a hesitation in her voice that Langdon can’t remember ever hearing from her that he doesn’t know how to interpret. 

Langdon’s confused, to say the least. He’s also pretty intrigued. 

“You gonna tell me your idea?” he smiles, already grabbing his keys. 

Mel smiles then, something loosening in her. Whatever had been in her eyes moments ago is gone. 

“No, but you trust me, don’t you Dr. Langdon? We’re going to make a princess of your daughter after all.” 

He laughs as he follows her to his car, wildly and carefree and so fucking in love with her he’s going to burst with it. 

Nothing, and Langdon means nothing, could’ve prepared him for the sight in front of him right now. It’s like it’s been plucked right out of his wildest dreams and then amplified by a hundred. 

Melissa King is on both of her knees in his living room as she helps his daughter into a children's-sized lab coat, helping to pull Isabel’s arms through its sleeves.

“You’re so pretty,” Isabel says. Frank Langdon’s daughter through and through. 

Mel grins. “Thank you Isabel. I think you’re very pretty too.” 

Tanner comes up behind him, tugging at one of his arms to get Langdon’s attention. “What did you say her name was?” he whispers. Well, he tries to. 

Mel laughs. “My name is Melissa, but everyone calls me Mel.” 

Tanner flushes but he goes to sit down next to Isabel in front of Mel so Langdon doesn’t think he’s too embarrassed. 

“That’s so cool!” Isabel says as Mel buttons her lab coat. “My name is Isabel, but nobody calls me anything else.” 

“But Isabel is a beautiful name!” Mel exclaims. “Why would you want to be called anything else?” 

Isabel shrugs. “It would be cool, like you,” one hand comes up to rub at her nose. 

Mel tilts her head then, glancing briefly at Langdon. There’s a silent question in her eyes he can’t read but he nods anyway. 

She turns back to his daughter. “Do you want me to give you a nickname then?” 

That has Isabel nodding viciously towards Mel, hair flying. Langdon tries to hide his grin as Mel throws her head back laughing. 

God, he wants to keep her here forever. 

Mel shifts so she’s sitting cross-legged on the floor. “Come sit in my lap while I braid your hair and I’ll think of a good nickname. I have to make sure it suits you.” 

Isabel practically leaps into Mel’s lap at that. Tanner laughs at her and then turns to Langdon to grin brilliantly at him and oh my god how is Langdon meant to survive this?

He sits there watching as Mel somehow entertains both of his kids at the same time. The sun is setting outside which paints them in this golden light, the slight shade of red in Tanner’s hair shining through as he plays tic-tac-toe hand clapping with Isabel. He can tell the clapping is a bit overstimulating for her but Mel’s hands are steady as she parts Isabel’s hair in different sections and it looks way more complicated than the braid she usually wears at work. When his eyes find hers to ask if she’s okay, she shakes her head slightly at him and goes back to braiding Isabel’s hair. 

For some reason, that piece of information feels intimate. This is a part of Mel that solely exists outside of the PTMC, a part of her that she’s decided to share with him and his kids. He takes it with both hands before she can realise what she’s given away and ask for it back. 

Langdon gets lost in it for a bit, the image in front of him. He doesn’t realise Mel’s done until Isabel stands up quickly to run past him into the hallway to see herself in the mirror. 

“Mel, it’s so pretty!” she shouts. “Thank you thank you thank you!” 

Mel’s looking at him when she responds. Slow and quiet, a warm smile meant just for him, he thinks deliriously. “You’re welcome.”

Isabel comes bounding back into the living room before Langdon has the time to process any of it. “So, Mel! What’s my nickname? Did you come up with one?” 

“I did,” Mel grins and looks back down at her. “Do you know any Italian?” 

Mel knows damn well Langdon’s great grandparents came to the U.S from Italy, they’d discussed it once when one of their patients had been a tourist from Milan who’d broken her arm and could barely speak English. Langdon doesn’t know Italian enough to be able to translate for her but she’d laughed when the interpreter had told her Dr. Langdon was from Italy. 

Anyway. Mel knew damn well the response she’d get from Isabel. 

“Yes!” she exclaimed before catching herself. “Or, no, but daddy’s family is from Italy! Did you know that?” 

“Really? I had no clue! Maybe you just look Italian to me, how cool is that?” 

Isabel looks over at Langdon in so much delight he thinks he might die from it. 

“What about me?” Tanner chimes in. “Do I look Italian too?” 

“Well of course!” Mel responds. “Now that I know, it’s very obvious.” 

Then Tanner looks over, and Langdon's heart starts beating erratically in his chest. Jesus. 

“So what’s my nickname Mel? Tell me, tell me, tell me!” she tugs at Mel’s sleeves and she crouches down to get to Isabel’s eye level again, framing Isabel’s face with her hands. 

“Well, we need to find something that’s close to your name but not really, like Mel and Melissa. There’s this word in Italian that could work, if you want it. It means beautiful, which I think suits you very much. Do you want to know what it is?” 

Isabel nods nods nods. 

“Well, what do you think about Belle?” 

Isabel, honest to god, shrieks. 

“Daddy!” she shouts. “Can you call me Belle from now on? Please please please!”

When he looks at Mel he can see her cheeks flushing. She looks so incredibly beautiful too, it’s all Langdon can do not to stand up and kiss her in front of his children. 

She has a boyfriend, he thinks. It’s what stops him. Well, that and the fact that his children are there, obviously. 

“We’ll bring it up with mom, alright. She should be home soon anyway, we’ll see what she thinks, but I’m sure she’s going to love it.” 

“One last thing,” Mel says and goes to get her bag, thrown haphazardly on the mat two feet or so away from her to pull out a stethoscope from her bag. It’s hers from work, Langdon knows this because he’s spent an unreasonable amount staring at her neck lately.

What? 

Mel wraps it around Isabel’s neck. “You can’t be an Italian doctor princess without a stethoscope. I’m sorry it’s so big, it was the best I could do. If it gets too heavy, just put it in your pocket. Your dad and I use it at work to listen to people’s heartbeat.”

“Wow,” Isabel says in wonder. “Can I try to listen to yours Mel?” 

Mel looks at him then. Langdon nods and tries to not look at Mel when she pulls the top of her shirt down and helps Isabel place it over her heart. Oh my god. 

“Tanner!” Isabel says. “This is so cool. It’s going so fast, is it supposed to go this fast, Mel?” 

Langdon has to try very hard to not look at her then. He keeps his eyes steady on the clock in their kitchen. 

“Yeah,” Mel laughs but it sounds slightly forced. “This is normal.” 

Right. 

“Can I try?” Tanner says and that forces Langdon’s eyes back down. He knows Mel is going to be looking at him when he does, and she is. Eyes locked on him she says “ask your dad.” 

Yeah, Langdon’s not surviving this. Ask your dad. Good god. 

“Sure,” he says, voice coming out a little strangled. “If it’s okay with Mel.” 

Tanner looks at Mel then and Mel nods. Isabel hands the stethoscope to Tanner somewhat reluctantly. 

“Wow,” Tanner laughs. “It’s so loud. Does this mean you have a good heart, Mel?” 

Mel looks away for just a second, but Langdon catches it. “I’d like to think so.” 

What that means, Langdon has no idea. 

He doesn’t get to ask either because right then, keys turn into the lock on the front door and both Tanner and Isabel run into the hallway. “Mom, mom!”

Mel shoots to her feet instantly and throws her bag clumsily over her shoulder at the same time. “I should go.” 

Oh. Oh no. 

She’s still standing there when Abby rounds the corner to come into the living room, Isabel and Tanner in tow. Langdon sees her pause, sees Mel freeze in front of him, and it feels slightly like watching a car crash and not being able to do anything to stop it. 

He sees Abby smile out of the corner of his eye but his gaze is locked solely on Mel as she cringes slightly. She does a good job of trying to pretend the tension in her body isn’t there but Langdon notices anyway. 

“Hello,” Abby says. “I’m Abby, and your name is?” 

“It’s Mel!” Isabel says. “She helped me with my Halloween costume!” 

“She did? Did you thank her?” 

Mel starts heading for the door. “She did, multiple times even,” her smile looks so incredibly forced Langdon’s hand twitches at his side with a desperate need to reach out towards her and reassure her, but he doesn’t know what good it would do. “I should head home, it’s getting late.” 

“Let me drive you,” Langdon says a bit desperately even to his own ears. “You left your car at work.” 

“No need Dr. Langdon,” she puts her shoes on. It’s hurried, she’s not even bothering with the laces as she tries to force the trainers on anyway. 

Dr. Langdon. 

She’s putting up barriers, he realises. Car crash, car crash, car crash. “No, really, I insist.”

“Really, I would prefer to walk. I need some fresh air anyway.” 

“But it would take you an hour, Mel. It’s only a fifteen minute drive, it’ll be quick.” 

Mel looks back up at him then, eyes hard suddenly. He doesn’t think she’s ever looked at him like that and it makes him incredibly uneasy. “It’s Halloween, Dr. Langdon. Stay here with your kids.” 

She’s out the door before Langdon can come up with another good reason to object with. 

He stares at his front door for what feels like ages, trying to will her to come back somehow. The door doesn’t open. 

“So, Mel huh?” Abby says from behind him, tone teasing. 

Langdon groans. “Don’t start. Tanner, let dad help you get into your Spiderman costume.” 

He hears Abby laugh as they walk up the stairs. 

She doesn’t text him that she’s gotten home safely which Langdon didn’t ask her to do but it still makes him feel anxious. He waits until it’s been an hour and a half since she left before he can’t stop himself any longer. 

(9:33 PM) You

Hey, I just wanted to make sure you got home okay

She doesn’t respond. All she does is give the message a thumbs up that Langdon doesn’t know what to do with, not really. He throws his phone away and onto his bed in frustration and goes downstairs to where Isabel and Tanner are sorting through all of the candy they’ve gotten, and he ignores the amused looks Abby sends him for the rest of the night. 

It’s not until he’s going to bed that he realises he didn’t have time to take off his wedding ring after work today. He shoves it off and throws it into his bedside drawer like he always does and goes to bed before he has any time to realise his mistake. 

He forgets Mel’s stethoscope the next day so he gives Mel his, putting it into her locker before she gets to work. They’re on slightly mismatched shifts today so she’s not going to notice. Besides, they have spare ones laying around somewhere, this is a hospital after all. It’s not like he’s attached to that specific stethoscope. 

When Mel gets in and throws the stethoscope, his stethoscope, around her neck to go up to the board and check for patients, he tries not to feel territorial over the fact that she’s wearing something of his. He doesn’t think he has any right, but he can’t help himself. 

Her boyfriend might get her for the rest of her time, but at work Mel’s with him. If that’s all he’s going to get, he can make do with that. He swears he can. Everything is fine. 

Everything really goes to shit right before New Year’s. 

By some kind of miracle, Mohan, Abbot, Mel and him all have the day off at the same time. It’s probably a way to make up for the fact that all of them are scheduled to work both New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day, but Langdon doesn’t mind. Abby’s taking the opportunity to take the kids up to see her family for a few days and it’ll be good for them to see their grandparents. Langdon’s live too far away for short visits so they usually take them during the summer. 

Or they used to. Langdon’s probably going to take them on his own next summer. 

Anyway. Abbot had the great idea of them all using this as an opportunity to go out for a drink, which Langdon only agrees to once he finds out Mel will be there. He’d kept telling Mohan no until she let that detail slip. 

So, here they are. They’re in a booth in the corner and Langdon has to try incredibly hard to get used to seeing Mohan and Abbot interact outside of work. It becomes obvious very quickly that they’re both stellar actors. 

Mel’s sitting right next to him wearing a long skirt and a blouse he’s never seen before. She looks incredibly hot so Langdon has tried very hard at not looking at her as well. 

Really, he deserves a medal for this. Some valor of honour, really. He doesn’t think much in this world is harder than sitting next to Melissa King and not being allowed to touch. 

“I need a drink,” he says suddenly, cutting off a conversation between Mel and Mohan about the use of AI in modern medicine and its reliability. “I’ll be right back.” 

“Do you want me to go with you?” Mel asks. 

“No.” I need space to breathe. He doesn’t tell her that. “I’ll be okay. Keep talking, I want to hear your conclusions when I come back.” 

Then he’s up, shuffling through the relatively thin crowd of people to get back to the bar and slump down on one of the barstools. He pointedly ignores her look of concern before he does, and he pointedly tries not to let it haunt him as he waits for the bartender to come to him. 

He fails. 

“What do you want?” 

Great. The bartender’s here. 

“I’m in recovery. Whatever you have that has not a drop of alcohol in it will do. Dealer’s choice.”

The bartender smirks. “Must suck to be in a bar looking this sad and not being able to drink your sorrows away.” 

Which feels wildly unprofessional, but what the hell. Sure. 

“You’re telling me,” he says and then thinks fuck it. Bartenders are supposed to be unofficial therapists anyway, right? “You see that girl over there, the one with the white shirt sitting next to a couple that looks so in love that it makes you sick?” 

The bartender nods. “Yeah. The girl causing you trouble?” 

 Langdon sighs loudly. “I’m in love with her and she has a boyfriend.” 

“That’s rough,” he says. “Why are you out with her tonight then? Honestly when I saw you guys come in I thought you were here for a double date.” 

He lets himself imagine it for just a moment. Langdon being allowed to wrap his arm around Mel’s waist, being allowed to put one of his hands on her thigh as she talks animatedly with Mohan. Pictures him driving her home later, her drunk next to him as he’s stone cold sober, looking over at her in amusement. Imagines taking her home, her inviting him in, them falling into bed. It wouldn’t even need to be sexual, he just wants to fall asleep next to her. Wake up next to her. 

“Yeah no, no such luck.” 

“Well, heads up,” the bartender nods to something behind him as he leaves him for other customers. “She’s coming over.” 

He barely has time to spin around before Mel’s in his space, one hand gripping his bicep. 

“Langdon, you need to help me. Quick.” 

He nods. “Alright, with what? I can’t imagine you’ve run out of arguments already.” 

“No, I need-” she looks down slightly. “There’s this guy who's trying to flirt with me and I don’t know how to get him off my back. I kept saying I have a boyfriend but he won’t listen. There’s definitely a sexist argument to have here but I don’t have time, I just want him gone. Can you just kiss me? I told him you were my boyfriend.” 

Sometimes, time just stops. Langdon feels dizzy. He feels the zip of energy shoot up his spine as if he’d been hit directly by lightning. 

He really shouldn’t be doing this. Mel has a boyfriend, an actual boyfriend who’s somewhere not here. Who knows Becca and who takes her on cabin trips during holidays and who’s British. Henry. The bane of Langdon’s meagre existence for months now. A version of him that’s apparently so similar but better, because he’s the one getting Mel King in her free time. 

He shouldn’t do this because he doesn’t know if his heart can take it. Having her and not having her at the same time. 

But Melissa King is asking Frank Langdon to kiss her, and all other arguments pale against the opportunity to feel her against him, if only just once. The opportunity to taste her, if only just this once. 

“Okay,” he whispers and pulls her in between his legs, so close he can feel her breath against him when Mel exhales. She steps into his space immediately, no hesitation. When Langdon places a tentative hand against her hip she melts into the touch. Jesus fuck. 

“You’re going to have to kiss me like you're in love with me,” he whispers against her lips. Then, because he might never get to say this again, he tacks on a “sweetheart” at the end of that sentence. 

Mel shivers. “Yeah, easy. You need to do the same.” 

Ridiculous. “Yeah, easy.” 

Then he closes the last inch of space between them and swallows Mel’s ensuing gasp down his own throat. 

He grabs onto her hips like he’s afraid she’s going to disintegrate any second. It’s desperate, and hot, and downright needy, the way she’s kissing him. She throws both of her arms around his neck suddenly and uses one of her hands to run it through his hair to tilt his face better and oh my fucking god. He groans into her then and she presses impossibly closer, mouth opening further to let him in. 

She’s more intoxicating than anything he’s ever had before. It makes him lose his mind a little, the taste of her on his tongue. At least that’s what he’s going to blame it on for what he does next.

He reaches his right hand up to rest against her throat, thumb right over her trachea. He leaves it there for just a second before Mel moans obscenely into him and by that point it’s involuntary, the press of his thumb into her windpipe, cutting off her oxygen for only a second, long enough for her to pull his hair hard. 

This is the best fucking kiss he’s ever had. Nothing could ever compare to this. 

He desperately wants to move his lips down the length of her jaw, her throat, her shoulder. He wants to leave traces of the fact that he was here. That Mel gave him this. He wants to kiss bruises into her skin just to show her fucking boyfriend, who never shows up for her by the way, that she has options. That she can do better than him. 

Langdon wants, and he wants, and he wants. 

The arm still around her waist has to keep her steady when Mel’s knees almost give in which does wonders for Langdon’s ego. She arches into him in response and they’re so close now that it wouldn’t take much to press one of his knees between her thighs and feel her warmth against it. It wouldn’t take much at all.

It’s that realisation that forces him to wrench his lips away from Mel. He’s dangerously close to taking more than he’s allowed. 

Her lips are red and swollen as she looks at him, breathing heavy. It’ll go away soon enough but at least for a while, there will be a trace of Langdon on her lips. It’s selfish, but he allows himself to look at it, memorise the way she looks in this very moment. 

She looks like she’s his. There’s no other way to describe it. 

Then, as if coming back to her senses, Mel tenses against him and takes a step back. Her arms fall away from his shoulders and he misses the warmth of them instantly. 

“I’m sorry,” she says. “I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable.” 

It takes a few seconds for him to register her even speaking. 

“You’re worried about making me uncomfortable?” 

She’s starting to panic, Langdon can see it in her eyes, by the way her pupils start shifting to anywhere that isn’t his face. 

“You didn’t make me uncomfortable, sweetheart. I’m happy to help you with anything, you know that.” 

He’d meant it to be assuring but Mel tenses even more. 

“Right,” she whispers. “Yeah no, I get it.” Mel steps completely out of his space and Langdon feels the loss of her like a biting cold. Then, as if an afterthought, “thank you. I should get back to the booth.” 

He reaches for her with his left hand before she can get too far away and Mel flinches like she’s been shot at the touch. 

Okay, now Langdon’s seconds away from panicking. 

“Mel,” he starts. “We’re okay, right?” 

“Of course,” she says but it’s stilted. Fuck. “I just need a minute. Come back in a few minutes, I just need to reorient myself for a bit.” 

Then she’s gone, and Langdon’s alone at the bar again, and something in his chest has been blown wide open. 

“I thought you said she had a boyfriend,” the bartender says, apparently back. Had he been watching? “That sure didn’t look like she was taken.” 

“She needed help, that’s it,” Langdon says, sounding wholeheartedly heartbroken even to his own ears. “I was doing her a favour.” 

“Right,” he says. “Anyway. Here’s your club soda. On the house, you look like you need it.” 

“Thanks,” he says miserably. He forces himself to drink it in small sips to give Mel time to reorient herself. He doesn’t know what that means, but she asked for it so he’ll give it to her. He’d give her anything really, given the chance.

When he eventually does get back to their booth it’s like nothing ever happened. Except for the fact that she’s moved to sit next to Mohan instead of him, opening up a seat for him next to Abbot instead. She barely looks at him when he slides in but he can tell she clocks him by the way she shifts minutely in her seat. Her and Mohan have picked their AI discussion back up as if the last fifteen minutes never happened. 

He’s never going to be able to forget. 

As he sits there, Langdon watches her hair move as she argues with Mohan and Abbot who’s now joined in on the debate. It’s not in a braid and Langdon so rarely gets to see her like this. It must get in her face a bit later because she reaches up to tuck it behind her ear absentmindedly after a while which allows Langdon to properly study her profile. The jut of her chin, the shape of her mouth that’s still red from where he’d bitten it, the slope of her nose. 

Fuck, he thinks. I’m going to have to homewreck her relationship, aren’t I?

He doesn’t talk to her much more that night, it’s clear she doesn’t want to so Langdon gives her space even though it kills him. 

When they see each other at work the next day for the first of five consecutive night shifts, she acts like nothing ever happened. It’s a bit disheartening, sure, but at that point Langdon has already made up his mind. He’s going to talk to her about this. Just not when they’re on shift, obviously. 

The opportunity presents itself two weeks later in the middle of January. 

“Hey,” he says while they’re getting changed. “Want to go for coffee before going home? I could use a debrief after today.” 

Mel pauses for only a second before slamming her locker shut. “Sure! Let’s go.” 

The enthusiasm is clearly fake but Langdon has no other choice but to take it.

Things derail pretty quickly as soon as they sit down, mugs in hand. Langdon’s barely sat down before Mel starts clinking a spoon against the porcelain. That’s the first warning sign Langdon’s missing, the fact that that should be overstimulating to her. Has been, in the past.

“So, I actually wanted to talk to you about something,” he starts and Mel flinches before holding one of her hands up to stop him. He goes silent. 

“Can I go first? I actually have something to say to you too.” 

Oh. Well. 

Maybe it’s better if Mel goes first? That way they can sort whatever it is out before Langdon drops the fact that he’s in love with her on her out of nowhere. 

“Sure, go ahead,” he smiles and tries to make eye contact. “I’m listening.” 

He can visibly see her steeling herself before looking up at him finally, spoon stilling finally. “I’m really glad you’re working on your marriage. Abby’s really nice.” 

What? 

“Mel, what? No, that’s-” 

She cuts him off. “I’m really sorry I kissed you that night. I’ll apologise to Abby too. I know we were only pretending but still, I was out of line to ask that of you in the first place.” 

“Mel, sweetheart-” he pauses when Mel’s whole body shudders and he doesn’t know how to interpret that. He doesn’t know what he can say in this moment to undo whatever conclusions she’s come up with in that brilliant brain of hers. This conversation feels like a minefield suddenly and one wrong step, one wrong word feels like it can blow them up forever. 

He wants to reach out to her, take her hand, do something. His hands are practically shaking as he stops himself from doing it. 

“Mel, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about, I think-” 

She shakes her head. Just let me get a whole sentence out, baby, he wants to scream. She doesn’t let him. 

“Please, Langdon. Don’t. I’m really glad, truly. I think it’s very admirable and romantic that the two of you have stuck beside each other through everything. I would never want to come in between that, I’d hate myself. Please, don’t let me come between you.” 

She’s taken a sledgehammer to his chest. I love you, he still wants to say. I love you so much it hurts. 

But she’d apparently hate herself if Langdon told her that so he clamps the words down before they can leave his mouth and swallows them down down down and hates himself instead. 

Better him than her. 

He hears Mohan from months ago suddenly. Mel holds to her principles pretty hard.

She’s never going to allow them the chance, he’s realising now. He lost whatever shot he could have had with her before he even met her. The day of PittFest, on the floor in the break room, he’d already missed it. Her boyfriend isn’t even the issue, it’s him. 

It’s always been him. 

“Oh,” is all he can say. He feels five seconds away from disintegrating, only held together by the fact that she wouldn’t want him to for Abby’s fucking sake. 

“Yeah,” she exhales. “Listen, I should go.” 

He feels like he could cry. Might even. 

“No, Mel. Please stay. We can still-” please don’t go please don’t leave oh my god I’m never going to come back from this it’s ending and I’m going to lose her and fuck how is it going to be at work I can’t let her leave I need her to stay I need her to stay I need her to stay.

“I can’t, Frank.” It’s not lost on him that this is the first time she’s ever used his first name. He shrinks into himself a little. “I can’t. I have a date. I just wanted to apologise, I assumed that’s what you wanted to talk about anyway. It was, right?” 

Melissa King is trying to actually kill him. This must be retribution for the drug addiction or anything else he’s ever done wrong in his life. He wants to say no. He wants to scream. He wants to run out and never have to look at her again. He wants to never stop looking at her. He wants to transfer hospitals. He wants to propose. 

Frank Langdon wants a lot of things, but he’s not in a position to get any of them. 

“Sure,” he says and he doesn’t recognise his own voice. “Yeah. I hope you have fun.” 

On your date. 

Because Mel has a fucking boyfriend, and it turns out Henry was never even the problem in the first place. Langdon was. 

Mel stands up abruptly and turns to leave. It’s not until she’s fully turned around that she seems to hesitate. He sits there, feeling suspended in time as she walks back over to him and presses a kiss into the top of his head, against his hair. The same hair she’d pulled on two weeks ago while Langdon had realised he didn’t have a future that didn’t include her in it. 

It lingers for far longer than it should but at least Langdon will have this. He’ll take this display of intimacy to his grave. He doesn’t know if she’ll ever give it to him again after this. 

“Thank you,” she says. “I’ll see you at work.” 

“Yeah,” he says, but at that point she’s already walking out the door. 

She wants him to work things out with Abby. Who he's been divorced from for nearly a year now.

He sits there for a long time, coffee going cold and untouched before he finds the energy to leave. He wants to throw his wedding ring into the white snow on the sidewalk, he wants to never have gotten it in the first place. 

As soon as he thinks about it he wants to throw up. He feels sick. He wouldn’t have Tanner and Isabel if he didn’t meet Abby so he can’t regret it, but fuck. There’s no way out of this, no path forward that will lead him anywhere he wants to go. There's no world where he has his kids and gets Mel too. Whatever ideas he'd gotten after Halloween were delusions, smoke shows at a circus. 

So yeah. Turns out everything isn’t fine after all.

Langdon gives himself one month to wallow in that realisation before he decides, you know what? Fuck British Henry with his cabin up at Lake Erie and whatever his job is that moved him here to Langdon's Pittsburgh. He's going to homewreck their relationship anyway.

He'll figure out a way to tell Mel he's divorced somewhere along the way too.