Work Text:
Only his well honed reflexes keep Robby from being hit square in the face by a pencil flung across the break room.
His hopes for five minutes of peace during a rare lull are effectively dashed as he takes in an exasperated Heather looking like she’s about five seconds from lighting the paper in her hand on fire.
In the weeks since Pitt Fest, and the confessions of the day, their working relationship has improved against all odds. They’d talked, again, about their relationship, the ways it had impacted things at work, their shared guilt after Pitt Fest (hers for not being there, his for breaking down), and it allowed them both to move forward in a way that felt much better than whatever it was they were doing before. So he didn’t dread this conversation like he might’ve just a few weeks ago, but still he mourns the five minutes reprieve he’d been aiming for.
“Something wrong, Dr. Collins?”
“I can’t make the fucking schedule work!”
“I thought swearing showed a lack of imagination?” He teases lightly, hoping she’ll take it in the way he intends.
She glares at him, clearly not in the mood.
He moves behind her, peering at a calendar where she’s written and crossed out residents names and shifts for the next month. “What’s the issue?”
“Well obviously we’re always short staffed, but with a … missing senior resident” She stole a glance, probably wondering how Robby would react to the mention of Langdon.
He waves her off, and she continues, “and now Dr. Mohan keeps bugging me to put her on nights, and I figure that should probably play itself out sooner rather than later so I’m trying to make it happen, but it’s like playing Tetris trying to get this schedule to work.”
Robby sighs and sits down next to her. A few frustrating minutes later, they have two weeks staffed out in a way that, while not optimal, should at least staff them to the mandatory minimum and shouldn’t lead to any obvious catastrophes. It’s satisfying in a way, because while he typically despises paperwork, Robby enjoys a good puzzle and lifting a little bit of weight from Collins’ shoulders, so he’s distracted enough by the challenge that it doesn’t register until Heather’s halfway to the door that he must’ve missed something about why Mohan doesn’t want to be on the day shift anymore.
When he asks, Heather responds cagily, “Well, she seems to want some opportunities to…learn from Dr. Abbot since working with him during Pitt Fest.”
Robby is momentarily offended. He knows he’s been hard on Mohan in the past, not always recognizing her strengths in his desire to get her to move faster, see more patients, take some risks, but he truly thought their relationship had improved recently, and he’s concerned he missed something. “Does Dr. Mohan feel like she doesn’t have the learning opportunities she needs from me?”
The look on Collins face is hard to read, as she replies, “I don’t think it has anything to do with you.” She seems like she’s trying to convey something more with her tone, but when she sees he isn’t getting it she adds “Look, you just gotta let it play out.” Collins continues towards the door, to head back into the fray and possibly to avoid this conversation.
After a minute, Robby follows her to the board where she stands next to Dr. McKay, discussing which patient to see next. He still doesn’t quite understand the conversation they just had, so he tries again.
“So if it isn’t a problem with day shift, why are you shifting her to nights if it’s causing trouble with the schedule?”
“You know, I’m going to go see that hand lac in Bay 2, and let Dr. McKay take this one because…well, I don’t want to. McKay, Robby wants to know why Dr. Mohan is so keen to be on night shift all of the sudden.” Before he can say anything else, Collins disappears, apparently very motivated to be elsewhere.
McKay laughs, “Oh…yeah. I did notice that gleam in her eye. It happens. It’ll pass.”
“What will pass?”
McKay seemingly takes pity on his confusion. “Her thing for Dr. Abbot. It just needs to play out.” She replies, unknowingly echoing Heather’s earlier comments.
Robby is momentarily stunned into silence. He’s not sure what he expected her to say, but it definitely wasn’t that.
Seemingly unconcerned by his silence, McKay continues, “She’s not the first and she certainly won’t be the last. It’s not like with Langdon, where some of the new hires swoon over ER Ken as soon as they lay eyes on him, and then you know, it fades once they realize he’s kind of an ass. It usually takes a bit longer for the infatuation with Dr. Abbot to start. It’s once they see him in action I think. You know, competence is hot and he’s got those steady hands and that swagger. And, unlike most, he can actually back it up.” She shrugs and repeats, “I don’t know, it’s hot. I mean not to me particularly, because sadly I am afflicted with the curse of only being attracted to total losers. But the staff with good taste who see him in action, well…they usually want to see more.”
Robby’s brain must’ve been knocked offline because he can’t think of a single thing to say. McKay seems to misinterpret whichever look is on his face for jealousy or offense, because she rushes to reassure him, or maybe just fill the silence. “Not that you’re not impressive. The residents love to learn from you. It’s just…” She pauses like she’s weighing her next sentence for its appropriateness for the workplace.
And fuck it, none of this is appropriate but he still wants to know, so he motions impatiently for her to continue.
“See Dr. Robby, there’s a certain type of resident that comes in here, and well, they want you to be their father, but they want Dr. Abbot to be their…”
“OKAY, thank you, Dr. McKay, I think I get it. Get back to…whatever it is you should be doing.” Robby feels himself blushing, and tries in vain to will it away. After a long moment he realizes that though he doesn’t want to continue this conversation, and he can’t imagine it being an issue, as the Chief Attending, he has to do his due diligence here. He waits until she finishes seeing her next patient, and posts up next to her as she’s charting.
“Hey, McKay?”
“Hmm?”
“Do I need to be concerned about this? Like, with Abbot, does it ever…cross a line?” She, he knows, more than any of his other residents, won’t hesitate to tell him. She's not one to be cowed by his friendship with Jack or his authority over her career.
Her face softens, “No, it’s not like that. Dr. Abbot, he’s really….kind about it. Firm you know, if he needs to be. Or else just unfailingly professional until they figure it out and move on.”
“Anyways” she continues, “with Samira I think it’s best to just let it run its course. Stick her on nights for a few weeks, it’ll pass.” She pats him on the shoulder as she passes him on the way to check on a patient.
And that should’ve been the end of it. He’s helped Heather with the schedule. He trusts McKay’s judgment about Dr. Mohan. She’s indeed scheduled to be on nights for the next two weeks. So that should be that.
Only, he can’t stop thinking about it. When he ties off a suture after repairing a leg laceration from a dog bite, he’s preoccupied with thoughts of watching Jack’s hands moving quick and sure, effortlessly stitching up a knife wound from an attempted robbery last week just before shift change. When he does a routine intubation an hour later, he remembers Dr. Mohan’s wide eyes as Jack used the controlled crike kit from his go-bag during the MCI, his hands steady, concentration fixed, total confidence in every movement he made. He can, in fact, understand why she was looking at him like that. He’s seen Jack perform countless similar feats and still felt a zing of electricity go through him when he saw it, even in the midst of everything. He’d always assumed that feeling was admiration, or maybe even professional jealousy. But that evidently wasn’t what Mohan’s look was about, and it doesn’t explain why Robby’s still fixated on the fact that she, and apparently countless others find it, and Abbot himself, hot.
He’s still thinking about it hours later when instead of a tidy and organized handover to the night shift he was hoping for, an ambulance comes screeching in at 6:45, with seven victims from an MVA, three in critical condition. Robby’s fighting what feels like a losing battle, trying to stabilize the driver of the Prius that swerved into the barrier to avoid being crushed by a truck that changed lanes without clear visibility. Robby’s working to relieve a pneumothorax, while shouting directions to McKay and Collins who have their hands full with the other critical victims. Dana and Matteo are working as fast as they can trying to stop the bleeding from a possible femur fracture on Robby’s patient. One minute it feels on the edge of chaos, and then he swears he recognizes Abbot’s footsteps, even before he catches sight of the man in his periphery, arriving in the nick of time. And as usual, in a way Robby hopes he never takes for granted, Abbot is exactly where he needs him to be. An extra hand for Dr. Collins with a hemostatic dressing, a quick assist for McKay with an intubation, before he’s right there next to Robby, assessing the bleeding on the femur efficiently before applying a tourniquet which slows then stops the bleeding just as her vitals finally stabilize. He knows Walsh will give him hell, the use of tourniquets on femur fractures being a point of contention between the two and inconclusive in the literature. But as usual, Jack’s decisive in his actions, making the tough call based on the patient in front of him, and it likely was the only way to stabilize the patient enough to make it to surgery.
He’ll be unbothered by Walsh’s critique, Robby knows. Honestly he’ll probably revel in it a bit. McKay was right, he does have that swagger, with the goods to back it up, that apparently makes the ladies swoon. Robby, it seems, is not entirely immune. He did once again feel that zing of … whatever it is, watching Abbot calmly and competently tackle the chaos by his side.
He finds himself, almost subconsciously, seeking out this feeling again and again. At first, he convinces himself it’s just a coincidence that he’s lingering longer after shifts than he usually does. He tells himself he’s just trying to ensure his charting is as thorough as Gloria wants it to be and is constantly nagging him about, but even in his own mind the justification falls flat given he’s never before been motivated by Gloria’s nagging. After the third day he gives up the ghost and admits he’s only there to watch Abbot work. It turns out that zing, well it’s still there. Robby’s afraid he might have to admit that it's something beyond admiration. Admiration wouldn’t make him blush scarlet when Abbot shoots him a crooked smile after he catches Robby watching him make a tricky save. It wouldn’t make his stomach flip when Jack swings an arm around his shoulder when they round before the hand off. And it definitely wouldn’t make him irrationally annoyed when he watches Dr. Walsh and Dr. Abbot engage in their near daily sparring when it occurs to him that it might not be animosity between them, but rather flirtation.
The thing is, if it were anyone else, he might just admit he’s no better than the residents and that he too finds the whole thing—the steady hands, the competence, and the swagger ”stupid hot”, as he had the misfortune of hearing Mohan describe it to Javadi just a few days after McKay clued him in on her crush. And yeah the whole finding men hot thing is new to him, but he finds he’s unbothered by it. There’s so much pain and shittiness in the world, he knows enough to take the good wherever it comes from, no matter how unexpected. He’s never been that attached to heterosexuality anyways. He's just been clueless apparently.
But it’s not just anyone, it’s Jack. Jack, who might be the only person he trusts implicitly, around whom he can drop the armor. The only person with whom he doesn’t have to be the leader, the teacher, or the defender. He’s not sure he can risk that easy camaraderie by complicating it with this inconvenient attraction. It is, he decides, probably best to just ignore it.
Only Jack seems determined to make this as hard as possible. Despite his resolution to try to tamp down his newfound attraction, Robby still finds himself lingering after his shift to watch Abbot work. It’s comforting to be in the bustle of the ER without the pressure of being in charge. After a week, it’s clear Abbot’s noticed, as he keeps looking at Robby curiously, though despite Robby’s trepidation, he doesn’t call him out on it. Abbot does however, circle back to Robby whenever there’s a lull, nudging his shoulder as he invades his personal space ostensibly to read his notes over his shoulder, but usually just shooting the shit. And whenever he catches Robby watching him, he shoots him that sideways grin, almost like he enjoys having an audience. The jolt of warmth Robby gets from these interactions make it impossible for him to stop, no matter how obvious he’s become, at least to Dana who has begun rolling her eyes at him when she leaves for the day, if not to Abbot himself.
And then one day, Robby looks up from charting when he hears familiar footsteps and sees Jack approaching, his typical nonchalant gait, his backpack slung over one shoulder. Jack grins at Robby slow and easy and the now familiar warmth gathers in his gut. Robby’s so distracted by it, it almost doesn’t register that it’s barely 6:15. He doesn’t say anything, sure Jack has his reasons for coming in early. Two days later he registers that Jack, usually eager to leave as soon as their handoff is complete, is still there when the clock hits 7:30, quietly charting and chatting with the nurses, but always orbiting around Robby. It soon becomes evident that Jack has noticed the shift in Robby’s behavior and is reciprocating, but what exactly it means remains unclear to Robby, as does whether either will ever mention it. Whatever Jack’s motivation, the added time together, the increased closeness, feels good to Robby. It’s calming to his anxiety in a way he didn’t know was possible, so he’s hesitant to talk about whatever this is, in case it might lead to it stopping.
Ultimately, and maybe inevitably, it’s Jack who breaks the silence. Easily, as though he hasn’t been obsessing about it for weeks, which, Robby contemplates with some disappointment, he probably hasn’t been. Jack, Robby imagines, likely views this as, if anything, a bid for a closer friendship. Not…whatever it has become in Robby’s head. But still, Robby isn’t gonna say no when Jack casually, almost as an aside on his way out one morning (at nearly 7:45), suggests that Robby stop by after shift to watch the game and have a beer. It’s not totally unprecedented, but is unusual these days, with their time off rarely matching up. Robby’s already said yes before he registers that he doesn’t even know what game Abbot is talking about. He looks it up on his break and notes it’s a Panthers game. He doesn’t really follow college football, but the game isn’t even close to being the main drawn anyways, so he figures it doesn’t make much difference.
There’s no indication that this is anything, but Robby’s more nervous than he’s been before any first date in his life. Bouncy and jittery during shift in a way that makes Dana shoot him concerned looks all day before finally telling him to snap out of it when he won’t stop messing with the board. Finally, after an interminable shift, Shen arrives. Robby completes the fastest, though still professionally thorough, handoff possible, and is out the door before he can get distracted by one more task.
Like Robby, Abbot lives walking distance from work, and on other similar nights in the past, Robby would walk directly there after shift, but tonight he stops by his place, showers quickly and changes into jeans and clean t-shirt, before heading to Jack’s. Those nerves haven’t gone anywhere. They do feel suspiciously like butterflies, but Robby chooses to ignore that fact because it makes him feel fifteen.
Jack opens the door, looking freshly showered and as unfairly attractive in casual clothes as in scrubs. Robby has to remind himself to breathe when Jack steps into his space, offering him a quick hug and a “hey brother” before ushering him inside.
Robby doesn’t think he’s imagining the tension crackling between them even through the mundane and familiar conversation as Jack offers him a beer and they settle on the couch. Robby swears he tries to pay attention to the game, but he keeps getting distracted by Jack’s hands gripping his beer bottle, by the space between them on the couch, simultaneously too much and too little, and by the crinkle by Jack’s eye when he exclaims over a good play, or smirks in Robby’s direction when making a joke.
As always, it’s nice to just be in Jack’s presence and Robby starts to relax, laughing a bit internally that he was nervous when there’s been no evidence that this hangout is anything other than friendly. He’s almost entirely at ease when Jack broaches the subject Robby thought might remain unspoken.
“So you know when you first started hanging around after shift, I thought you might be checking up on me.” Jack is regarding him carefully, his gaze seems to hold more weight than the casualness of his tone would suggest. Before Robby can object to the idea, Jack continues “but after a bit, it didn't seem like it was that. It’s been…nice having some more crossover at work, but, just wondering…” He trails off, almost seeming unsure, so unlike Jack.
Robby isn’t even sure how to explain even if he were brave enough to answer honestly, so he reaches for the easy joke. “Well I had to see why my best resident was so keen to switch to night shifts recently. I’ve been told it’s the swagger.” He grins sideways at Jack. “Had to see for myself.”
Jack rolls his eyes, chagrined, which confirms Robby’s suspicion that he’s well aware of his reputation and the admiration. “And?”
“I get why it works.”
“Do you?” Jack’s wearing his signature smirk now, and heat pools in Robby’s stomach. “You do know I’m not interested in it working on residents right?” His tone turns more serious, a little questioning. Somehow without Robby realizing, Jack has scooted closer, and something in his eyes makes the breath catch in Robby’s throat. The moment feels important, like maybe they are on the precipice of something, as Jack continues “I always thought the person I wanted it to work on was immune. That still true?”
And it’s the uncertainty, tinged with vulnerability Robby sees in Jack’s face just behind that usual swagger, that makes Robby feel brave enough to reach out his hand to rest on Jack’s jaw. He feels the scruff beneath his fingers, and the now familiar jolt of attraction, heightened by the way Jack’s looking at him, already leaning in as Robby murmurs “Definitely not immune.” And then Jack’s kissing him, a hand sliding behind his neck and holding him there. It’s a firm press of lips at first, but as soon as Robby leans into it, opening his mouth experimentally under Jack’s, Jack lets out a low groan and suddenly he’s really kissing Robby, hard and claiming. Those hands Robby’s been obsessing about slide from the back of his neck down to grip his shoulders, as Jack swings a leg over Robby's, pulling back enough to murmur against his mouth “Is this ok?” Robby’s ability to speak coherently left the building right around the time Jack’s tongue first touched his, so he hopes sliding his hands into Jack’s hair and tugging him back in for a hard kiss conveys just how ok he is with the shift in position.
And just when he thinks it can’t get better, Jack’s grinding down and Robby’s body is on fire as they kiss again and again, quickly finding their rhythm, and maybe it shouldn’t be surprising that in this, like at work, they fall into sync so easily. Robby had thought, worried even, that if this ever happened, it might feel strange or even awkward to be with a man for the first time, but it’s easy. Sometimes with women, particularly early on, he’s in his head, worried about doing the wrong thing, not yet knowing her cues, but here, with Jack, it feels intuitive, and he can finally, finally turn his brain off, and just follow Jack’s lead. He wonders dimly, if this feeling of familiarity despite the newness of the experience has an end point, if, as they barrel forward, he’ll hit a moment where anxiety kicks in, and it feels like too much.
But it doesn’t, not even when Jack wrenches himself away finally, long after both their shirts have been abandoned in favor of touching skin, and suggests that a bed might be a more comfortable place for two grown men. Instead of any apprehension, Robby follows Jack eagerly, taking the opportunity to crowd Jack against the bedroom door and kiss him thoroughly, enjoying the way Jack relaxes against him, surrendering for a minute, before gripping Robby’s hips, and using those strong and capable hands to maneuver him onto the bed, where Robby wastes no time in pulling Jack down on top of him again. He leans in to capture Jack’s mouth, but Jack stops him, cupping his jaw almost tenderly and taking a beat to just look at Robby, like he’s trying to memorize the moment. It makes something soft and warm bloom in Robby’s chest, which soon turns molten as they fall back into each other.
Afterwards, Robby passes out, the day catching up to him. When he comes to and finds Jack’s body curled around his, relaxed but undeniably awake, Robby has a brief attack of shyness. With everything tonight his body figured out what to do, but this part makes him nervous. He knows he’s never been good at this and the stakes feel impossibly high. He doesn’t want to screw this up, to lose the easy way he and Jack relate.
Before he can work himself up too much, Jack speaks up, “I can hear you thinking too hard over there. Usually sex de-stresses people, do we need to try again?”
Even as his body reacts positively to the suggestion, the casual tone of Jack’s voice causes his anxiety to crystallize around a new worry he hadn’t considered. “Is that what this is? Stress relief?”
“If that’s what you want it to be,” Jack replies evenly.
Robby maneuvers out of Jack’s grip, and scans the room for his clothes, finding that his pants have ended up on the other side of the bed, pinned under Jack’s crutches which are propped against his bedside table. Before Robby can make a move in that direction, he feels Jack’s hand on his arm tugging him back down, and forcing Robby to look at him. “Hey, no, you’re not doing that. We aren’t gonna do the miscommunication thing. I didn’t say that’s what I wanted it to be. Just that it can be as simple as that if that’s what you want. But, so there’s no misunderstanding here, I want what I've wanted for a while now, which is all of it, or as much as you’re willing to give me.”
Robby can read the sincerity in Jack’s voice, and even if he couldn’t, he wouldn’t doubt what Jack’s saying. He is, in all circumstances, a no bullshit kind of guy. What Jack is saying is almost, but not quite, as scary as the alternative. “I’m not great at this, you know. I’ve been told I’m a little closed off.”
Jack laughs, “You don’t say. But I know that. I know you, and when you do that, close yourself off, or try to pull away, you know I’m not gonna let you get away with it anymore than I do with anything else.”
It’s still scary, but he trusts Jack everywhere else, and it feels safe to trust him with this too. “And you’re sure you’re ready…to move on?”
Jack looks momentarily confused. “Move on?” Robby gestures wordlessly at his left hand where his wedding ring remains, ten years after his wife’s passing.
Jack pulls it off immediately, putting it in the drawer on his nightstand. “Yes. No question. The ring isn’t about not being ready to move on.”
He says it with such conviction that Robby’s inclined to believe him, but still, he’s never seen Jack on shift without the ring. “Then what’s it about?”
Jack chuckles, “I would’ve thought you’d have guessed. I need something to keep the residents at arms length. I’ve been told my swagger is…irresistible.” Robby laughs too then, pushing Jack on to his back and kissing him hard once before sliding his mouth down to Jack’s neck and sucking hard there.
Jack’s laugh turns quickly to a heated groan, “Not that I’m complaining, but what are you doing?”
Robby lifts his head briefly, “Well if you’re taking off the ring, you’ll need something else to show the residents and nurses, and whoever else, that you’re off limits.”
Jack laughs again and tilts his head to the side to give Robby more room. “Well by all means then, don’t let me stop you.”