Chapter Text
It happened about a year after they moved permanently to the Mushroom Kingdom. He and Mario were fighting a strange sorceress who was trying to take over Sarasaland. Purple, blue and red magic swirled above her as her wand stirred the sky. She brought it crashing down pointed straight at his brother shrieking.
“A curse on you! Meddlesome human!” and Luigi hadn't thought, just acted.
That was nearly three years ago now. At first, he and Mario had tried to carry on at their house in Toad Town, but he was miserable. Suffocating. Never able to so much as step outside his house after sundown without risking being attacked. Mario, mostly out of guilt, agreed to relocate to Montkoop, a town near the Evershade Valley, just inside Bowser's kingdom. Here, Luigi was able to live an otherwise normal life. They were just far enough on the outskirts of town that no one bothered to intrude on them. He and Mario could come and go as they pleased. Mario was out this evening. Dinner with the princess. A date, Luigi sincerely hoped, but Mario didn’t tell him much about it. His brother was simply not the type to kiss and tell.
He glanced through the little gap between the curtains of the front window at the brightly colored sky and the setting sun. His left hand curled at the edge of the day-old newspaper, thumb running over a particular ad with hesitant uncertainty.
‘Miss Koopabell’s Perfect Match Agency
Need a beau on the go? Or a date for a fancy fête? Maybe you’re looking for a no-strings way to pass your heat? Stop by Miss Koopabell’s. The agency that does it all. The oldest and most reputable agency in the kingdom with more than four decades of experience. Don’t rely on word of mouth or blind dates set up by your mum! Come to the professionals. Rated Double S Super Star for more than ten years running. We’ll find the match for you! Miss Koopabell’s located at…’
Luigi swallowed and traced the address with his finger. He’d been trying to gather up the courage for days now. If he didn’t go tonight, while his brother was out…he probably never would. He wasn’t sure how long he sat mulling it over before he took a deep breath and peeked back out through the curtains just as the very last sliver of sun sank below the horizon. He closed his eyes as he felt the magic enveloping him, swirling from the top of his head down to his toes. His olive skin became scales, and his fingernails turned to short, sharp claws. His nose and the front of his face was now a kind of beakish snout. His eyes and hair remained unchanged, but otherwise, he’d be unrecognizable, were it not for his overalls and hat. He quickly went to his room, took those off and slid into a blue shell instead. On his way out, he spared himself a quick look in the mirror. Well…he supposed he was ready as he'd ever be. He took a deep breath and walked out the door, part of him still not entirely sure he’d really be able to do this.
Phyllis sighed and pushed her glasses up her beak. She was so ready to head home, sink into a nice, hot bath and close her eyes. She started cleaning and had almost finished packing up her desk when the branch manager Shelly popped her head in and asked:
“Phyll, I know you’re on your way out, but do you think you have time for one more? Shouldn’t take too long, he’s already filled out some of the paperwork.”
It was hard not to look too put-upon by the ask. She bit her lip.
“Can’t he come back first thing tomorrow?”
“I did ask, but apparently, he has schedule conflicts. Has to be tonight.”
“Ugh…fine. Send him in.”
“Thanks!” Shelly beamed. “You’re a lifesaver! Just make sure to run him through the terms and conditions and file his info with the others to be processed.”
“Right. I know what to do,” she said, a little exasperated. She’d been working here over three years. She could do her job blindfolded.
“Excellent! Thanks again, dear!” then Shelly’s head poked back out of the room and spoke to someone outside the door, “Right this way, sir. Ms. Phyllis is going to complete your final paperwork and answer any questions you may have.”
“T-thank you. Thank you very much. E-especially on such short notice I really appreciate—”
“Excuse me, dear, I have to make sure everyone else is wrapping up for the evening. Very nice to meet you and I hope we’ll be able to assist. Phyllis is just through that door there.” Shelly’s footsteps retreated and Phyllis couldn’t help feeling just a little bitter. Soon as she’d made the rounds, Shelly’d probably be off while she had to stay late and—
The door opened and a leggy, lanky koopa stepped tentatively through the door. Hmph. Mid-late twenties at a guess. Dark, curly hair. He had a green head and, rather than trading out for the more common gold at the neck or shoulders, the green scales continued till about halfway down his arms before turning to gold. Here and there on his legs and hands there were a few scales that were flecked with green.
“Come in,” she urged, then pointed to the chair in front of her desk. “Please have a seat.”
“Oh, uh, right.” He hurried to do as she asked. Soon as he was seated, he began fidgeting with his claws. Now she had a closer view it was even more clear that this koopa was not only extremely nervous, but, by conventional koopa standards, very attractive in an understated and natural sort of way. He had a funny birthmark on his upper lip in a shape that almost looked like a mustache—that was certainly a little odd. Yet, in addition to the lovely green scales and the hair, he had a soft scent of spices that sparkled in the nose like cardamom and coriander.
“Your name?” she asked.
“Um…L-Lu. My name is Lu.”
“Lu,” she repeated, pulling a blank file folder out of her drawer and using her quill to write the name on it in ink. Without looking up, she asked, perfunctorily, “And how can we help you?”
“I—I read about your agency in the gazette and…I’d like to find a partner to umm…assist me…with my heat.”
She pulled out the necessary form documents. Across the top of the first page, she wrote in large letters: Heat-seeking.
“I see. And what kind of partner are you looking for?”
“S-sorry?” he asked, flustered, his cheeks reddening slightly. “Oh. I—I filled out some o-of the information ahead of time. I read your i-info flyers outside.” He offered her one of said flyers, where it seemed he’d scribbled down his information in the example form. While she probably should have been grateful, she’d just had her own boss reminding her how to do her job and it jabbed right in a sore spot. She huffed in annoyance as she looked it over and copied it down into the real form. She read it aloud as she went to verify that everything was correct. “Age twenty-seven years, seeking a male top for the heat—I am duty bound to reiterate that your residence information is for the agency’s records only and that the final copy of your file which will be sent out to potential partners for review will not contain any sensitive data—not even your name. This is for our client safety. Please be advised, should you choose to reveal your name, identity or place of residence to another party whom you meet through our service, that any action taken by that individual is no longer our responsibility. Do you understand?”
“Um, si—er, yes, I understand.”
“Excellent.” She now slid the form across the desk and held out the writing quill to him. She leafed the pages out separately and referred him to the last three. “These are the terms and conditions of our services. Please note,” she pointed to a few sections, “that the agency makes no guarantees to find you a match, but we will provide you with the files of others who are searching and opportunities to make contact others in search of partners. Harassment, solicitation, and abusive behavior are not tolerated. If you feel you have been subject to any of these, we have excellent review staff, with whom you can file a report at any time. We will provide you an emergency contact booklet for that very purpose. Please note that false reporting will be considered an abuse of this system and you will be dropped from our books. The same can be said if you are found to have breached our code of conduct.”
“Understood.”
“Good. Initial here and sign.”
He did. Handwriting wasn’t bad, but it would have been better were his hands able to stop shaking. Once that was done, she directed him back to the main page of the form. She used a colored pencil to circle several boxes.
“Please fill these out. The rest is entirely optional.”
He took his time. The restrictions and limitations section alone took several minutes, only for her to realize upon closer inspection he’d added only two things: no kissing, and nights only. Her eyebrows rose. After all this time working here, she’d pretty much seen it all, but…nights only? That was a new one. She frowned. Before he could start on the next required section, she interjected.
“I do not mean to cast any kind of judgement, but you do realize that the limitations you provide are factors that assist our selection of suitable candidates as well as determine your suitability for other clients?”
“I—I do.”
Phyllis frowned.
“I’m sorry, but to clarify, by ‘nights only,’ you do mean—”
“I,” he wrung his hands, “I’m only available at night. F-from sundown to sunrise.”
She was brutally honest.
“I sincerely doubt we’d be able to find any koopa willing or able to meet such demands.” She waited, half expecting him to leave, but only found herself waiting some more. Their eyes met. His anguished blue eyes melted her stony outlook. She sighed. “Of course, if you would like to be retained on our books in case something comes up, I suppose—”
“Thank you,” he whispered, voice thick with emotion.
She took a deep breath and quickly restored her mask of perfect impartiality. After all, she was a professional. He struggled even more with the bio section, which was meant to be an informal short paragraph describing yourself, your experiences, or what you were looking for in a partner. Finally, after a great deal of thought, he touched the quill to the paper and smoothly wrote several sentences without crossing anything out or making any edits. He slid the paperwork back over to her and she looked it over. Yes. Everything was in order, and they were all wrapped—Oh! She took up her own quill and pointed to a box that, in her haste, she’d neglected to circle with the colored pencil.
“My apologies. The final date of your last heat, if you would be so kind. For our records only, so that we can theoretically attempt to match you with someone before your next one.”
“A-april fifteenth.”
She penned it in in a most professional and efficient manner, though internally, she realized this koopa had wasted very little time applying to the agency considering his heat had ended no less than five days ago. Tidying up the neat stack, she leafed through for one final check.
“Well, Mr. Lu,” she met his eyes, “it looks to me like everything’s in order. Your official file will be drawn up and copies will be sent out to any potential matches starting as early as noon tomorrow. You may expect your folder to arrive at your home with the first post.” She paused and watched his nervously twiddling claws. Right. “I take it you are unfamiliar with enchanted letter pages? Would you like me to show you how they work?”
“Y-yes, please.”
Phyllis pulled her demonstration pages out and put them on the table, one in front of her, and the other she set up in front of him.
“As you can see the parchment was folded in half. That crease is the spell barrier. The top is for incoming messages as they are written, and the bottom is for you to write in. Here. Allow me to demonstrate.” In the bottom half of the page before her, she wrote:
‘This is Phyllis. I am writing you a message.’
He gasped and his eyes followed her words as they appeared atop the page in front of him in real time. He took the quill on his side of the desk and wrote back:
‘Thank you, Phyllis, for your message.’
“Good,” she said, with a stoic nod. “Every client on our books receives a folder of these pages. Everyone starts with the default correspondence which serves as your primary point of contact with the agency. If you need anything, have questions, or wish to file a report, that is how you will reach us. Please feel free to reach out at any time of the day or night. There are koopas on staff ‘round the clock. Every copy of your file that is sent out to potential suitors, contains a correspondence page linked to your folder. Should the koopa reading it decide to contact you, a new page with a live magical connection to the one in their copy of your file will appear in your folder, so be sure to check it often.” She waited a few moments to be sure he had time to absorb everything she’d said before asking, “Did you have any further questions for me at this time?”
“N-no. I don’t think so.” There were two seconds of awkward silence before he stood up and quietly added, “Thank you. For…for everything. I know you’re probably ready to be done for the night. Sorry for keeping you. Have a really nice night, yeah?”
“I,” she felt her face flushing, a bit startled to be so graciously thanked for her time, “You, too.” And she found herself adding, without a shred of the usual detachment, “I hope we can help you find someone.”
His smile was so full of mixed emotion it was almost hard to look at.
“I really hope so, too.”
Luigi had a long walk back from the agency in the capital. Well, it was really more of a run—er—a spin? Eh, whatever. The one indisputable benefit of wearing a shell was being able to bump along the ground unimpeded at high speeds and as long as he remembered to jump over any obstacles, he wouldn’t get turned around in the slightest. His blue shell was getting a little worse for wear, though. He could really use a new one soon. Maybe tomorrow he could speak with Mario about going out to find or purchase one. Sadly, they weren’t very commonly found in item boxes around here. And he couldn’t just walk around as koopa without one. Not without raising suspicions.
The little village of Montkoop, tucked safely atop the gray hills at the base of the Evershade mountains was always quiet this time of night. Seemed the town’s residents had long since retired for the night. That was good. Of course, it didn’t really matter if they spotted him right now anyway. To them he was just another koopa, after all.
It had been about a year since Mario had finally agreed to move to a cottage out here. Ever since the curse, Luigi had been eager to go somewhere the sight of a koopa wouldn’t cause too much stir. Mario had tried to convince him to tell Peach and have her make a kingdom-wide announcement at the very start, but he couldn’t. Mario didn’t understand. Mario didn’t realize how difficult it was. Mario hadn’t experienced life the way he had. It was so hard to explain why he was so scared. His brother didn’t get it. Mario had never had to wrap his head around the fact that he was about to walk into a room full of peers, loved ones, co-workers—hell, even complete strangers—and make a pronouncement that would leave a third of them confused, a third stunned, and the rest disgusted. Mario didn’t know how bad it hurt watching their emotions and expressions changing in real time and hanging on the edge of a knife, not knowing whether they’d hug you or reject you. Sweet as the relief that came with love and acceptance would be—he knew Peach and Daisy and probably Toad and Toadette would accept his new dual self—he doubted all the other toads would be so generous and he couldn’t…he couldn’t go through that again. Maybe it was stupid. Maybe Mario was right, and he should just tell everyone he was cursed so they could get on with their lives, but he couldn’t let go of the fear. He was hanging too tight to the trauma of the past but…
They’d built a new life here. The Super Mario Bros. Heroes of the Mushroom Kingdom. Mario and his brother Luigi. He didn’t want to lose that. Worse still, this time what had happened to his body wasn’t his choice. He didn’t ask for this. He didn’t want it. Nevertheless, he had it, and now he was stuck like this. It could have been worse. Much worse, but thankfully, his koopa form was a lot like his human one only…scalier. So, it hadn’t taken long to adjust. No, the hardest thing to accept—the one thing that made this double-life borderline unbearable—was the heat. It came every six months. Like clockwork.
The only one outside Mario he’d dared to trust was Dr. Toad and even that was at Mario’s insistence. The doc was also the only one who knew the truth of his anatomy and that suited him fine. Thankfully, the toad had not only been extremely professional, but reassuring, telling him that toadfolk have their own complex relationship with gender and that Luigi had nothing to be nervous about or ashamed of. He’d been so relieved. Dr. Toad had taken the news of his curse with a bit more surprise, but thankfully, had treated him with the same professionalism and respect he’d come to expect. The toad M. D. was more worried than anything, conducting several tests, check-ups and evaluations, only to conclude that both Luigi’s human and koopa forms were in perfect health. It was he who’d warned Lu about the heat.
Dr. Toad had given him a few of the rather poor reference texts they had here in the Mushroom Kingdom. He’d done what he could to prepare based on the information they gave, but holy fuck…he had not been ready for the nearly week-long, near fever-dream, of sweat and tears and desperate, carnal need that no matter how hard he tried, no toy or self-administered touch seemed able to satisfy. Every climax felt incomplete somehow and left him screaming and gasping into his pillow, bouncing his hips roughly up and down on a dildo until his body snapped again with another muffled cry as his muscles spasmed. His tears wet the pillowcase and sheets. He begged the air, closing his eyes and trying to pretend it was a warm, hard cock sliding into him, intent to fill him up with seed and leave him heavy with an egg. The desire to be bred was so strong…Every single heat since had passed much the same, always ending in a plea to the stars and uneasy sleep. This last was no exception.
Mario had gone to the Mushroom Kingdom to stay with Peach, as they had always arranged since the very first time this had happened. Luigi didn’t want his brother to have to put up with the sounds and smells of it and Mario was more than happy to steer clear but being completely alone without even a helpful brother to leave him food or water meant Luigi had an even harder time. And last week…fuck. Something just snapped. He couldn’t stand it. He couldn’t take it anymore. He felt so ugly and unlovable and disgusting and the fact that he was alone hadn’t helped. He’d never felt so desperate before in his entire life. More than once he earnestly felt sure he was going to die and that was when he knew for sure that—no matter what happened—he couldn’t go through this alone again. He had to do something. He had to find a partner. It wasn’t until the day before yesterday, while reading the paper, that he saw the agency’s advertisement. He’d never done anything like this before. He was usually way too shy and nervous about how people would react to his body in the bedroom that he’d never allow himself to be vulnerable and—
He was home. The windows of their little cottage were dark. Good. Maybe Mario was still in the Mushroom Kingdom. His fratellone had a dinner date with the principessa earlier tonight. Lu had intentionally left before his brother got back because he knew how worried Mario got whenever he went out in the dark lands on his own. Honestly, when he looked like this, there was very little to be scared of. He’d done it before. They just treated him like any other koopa. Because that’s what he was. But Mario was a real worry wort, convinced that somehow he’d be found out and get attacked or worse—arrested by Bowser’s troops. Seeing as they’d been living here for more than a year and that hadn’t happened, it seemed unlikely. Luigi let himself in and carefully closed the door behind him without a sound. He didn’t know if Mario was home or not, so he tip-toed toward the hall, only for the light by the couch to click on. Mario sat there, eyes red, hair mussed, and lips curling down in a fierce frown.
“And what time are we calling this, Weegee?”
“Fratellone, I thought maybe you were spending a night with—”
“No, I came home early. Wanted to make sure you were alright. You’ve been…rough since the—” Mario still grappled with the odd word, even though he’d had several years now to come to terms with it, “heat.”
“I—” Luigi sighed and went to sit beside his twin. Mario immediately threw both arms around him and he inhaled sharply, emotions swelling up in his chest. Regardless of form, Mario was his biggest supporter and had never treated him any less affectionately. He hugged back, tightly. “Yeah, it was rough.”
“Wanna talk about it?”
“Not with you.”
Mario chewed his bottom lip. “Weegee, I know you don’t like talking about it with me, but maybe if you go to Doctor Toad or—”
“I went to the capital.” Seeing the panic building on his big brother’s face, he hastily added, “T-to a match agency. T-there are lots of them. They help koopas find a partner to—you know—pass the heat with.”
Mario pulled back a little and stared with wide eyes.
“N-not in a romantic way! They’re not a dating service, just—just facilitate a way for koopas to healthily satisfy s-sexual needs.”
The red plumber was less than convinced. His mustache wiggled, uneasily.
“But—you aren’t a koopa during the day. If this agency finds you a partner and you—then they’ll find out, si?”
“I thought of that. The forms have a section for limitations and requirements. I asked for someone willing to assist for the nights only.”
“How will that work, though? You can’t keep traveling back an forth to their house while in heat. It isn’t safe.”
“We’d figure something out. Maybe if they’re going to come here, I put a lock on my door and only come out once I’m—”
“Lu,” Mario’s face was a bit paler than usual. His grip on Luigi’s arm was gentle, “You’re sure about this? What about—you just—Ugh!” Mario was struggling to put his thoughts into words in a way that wouldn’t hurt his little brother’s feelings. “I just…you always get so attached…you fall in love so easily. If—if whoever you end up with just up and leaves afterward—it’ll hurt you.”
“Mario…please, try to understand. I can’t spend it alone again…” Luigi whined. “It’s agony. I—I’ll do anything to avoid it.”
“Even get your heart broken?” Mario asked softly.
Luigi didn’t answer, just patted the side of his twin’s face, smiling sadly before he stood, walked down the hall to his room and closed the door behind him with a click.