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Chapter Text

[001]
Charlie
Charlie: That you, little brother?
Ron: Welcome to the world of muggle tech, Char
Ron: What can I do for you?
Charlie: A favor
Ron: Interesting
Ron: What kind of favor?
Charlie: Can you give me Hermione's number?
Ron: ...why
Charlie: She still works in Magical Creatures, doesn't she?
Ron: Yeah
Ron: This some dragons thing?
Charlie: Course it's a dragons thing, what else would it be?

[002]
Harry, Mione
Ron: We still on for tonight?
Harry: Yeah mate just wrapping up at work, be there in 10
Mione: I'm already here
Ron: Shit did I get the time wrong?
Mione: No, I stopped by Flourish & Blott's and finished up faster than I thought I would. I got a table in back
Harry: Finished up early at F&B? Who are you and what have you done with Hermione?
Mione: Ha ha very funny
Ron: Quick, what's my favorite quidditch team?
Hermione: That is HARDLY a good security question, everyone knows it's Chudley

[003]
Harry, Mione
Harry: We still sure about that now Malfoy's their seeker?
Ron: Don't remind me
Mione: It must mortify him to wear such a shade of orange
Harry: Think he cried when Falmouth traded him?
Ron: I hope he did
Mione: So spiteful
Ron: It's my only consolation
Ron: Oh before I forget
Ron: Mione can I give Char your number?
Mione: Sure, why?
Harry: Bet it's dragons
Ron: Something dragony

[004]
Harry, Mione
Ron: He didn't really say what but he said "Course it's dragons" when I asked
Harry: Are we sure HE isn't a dragon
Ron: If he's an animagus and didn't tell me I'm going to be so mad
Mione: He would hardly be the first unregistered animagus we've met
Mione: Come to think of it, I know more unregistered than registered animagi off the top of my head...
Harry: Maybe I'm one
Ron: No bloody way
Ron: If you did THAT without me I'm revoking your friendship
Harry: Kidding, kidding
Harry: Omw
Ron: Just got here

[005]
Gin, Lav, Padma, Parvati
Hermione: Gin when do you get back from Ibiza
Gin: Thursday night, but Blaise already claimed Friday. What are you thinking?
Lav: Boo Blaise
Padma: Hush we like Blaise
Parvati: Do we though?
Hermione: Blaise is fine, it's his friends we're unsure about
Gin: Ugh don't you start
Gin: Ron's already being a git about Malfoy
Hermione: He'll be mad until the Cannons trade him
Hermione: Or he wins a cup
Hermione: You know Ron

[006]
Gin, Lav, Padma, Parvati
Gin: Sometimes I wonder
Gin: Anyway, Saturday?
Parvati: Works for me
Padma: Me too
Lav: It depends on the time
Hermione: Oh my god Lav just tell that woman to give you a day
Lav: It's an interview with the Undersecretary. You know I need to be there when Rita has one of these events
Gin: It's fine Lav just join us when you're done
Gin: I don't know how you can work with her
Lav: Means I'm stronger than the lot of you

[007]
Gin, Lav, Padma, Parvati
Hermione: Does she know we're friends?
Lav: Oh yes. [sunglasses emoji]
Hermione: HA
Parvati: ahahaha
Padma: Never gets old
Padma: [beetle emoji]
Hermione: [jar emoji]
Gin: [laughing emoji]

[008]
Hermione Granger
Charlie: Hey, Hermione, this is Charlie Weasley
Hermione: Hi Charlie! What can I do for you?
Hermione: Ron mentioned "something dragony"
Charlie: Of course he did
Charlie: How familiar are you with the Romanian Reserve?
Hermione: I know where it is, how big it is, and that you work there
Hermione: Oh, and that it's where the dragon we saved from Gringott's ended up
Charlie: Ha, yes. That's true. Poor thing was really beat up.
Hermione: How is ...he? She?
Charlie: He's doing fine, all things considered. Blind in one eye and is small for his age.

[009]
Hermione Granger
Hermione: I suppose that makes sense, he was bound in the depths of Gringott's for who knows how long. Did you name him?
Charlie: Not me personally, but he's called Galleon
Hermione: Really?
Charlie: Yep.
Hermione: If I were him I'd have toasted whoever named me.
Charlie: Hahaha
Charlie: Well the reason I got your number off Ron is the reserve. The Romanian ministry has been cutting budgets year over year and it's to the point we can't keep going the way we have been unless something changes.
Hermione: Oh no
Charlie: There aren't many places these dragons can go

[010]
Hermione Granger
Hermione: No, I can't imagine there are
Charlie: I was hoping you might be able to help me figure it out
Hermione: I'll ask around the department. If nothing else, it'll give me ideas on where to start
Charlie: So you'll help?
Hermione: Of course I will! Those dragons deserve a stable home
Charlie: You're officially my favourite of Ron's friends
Hermione: Haha that's all it took?
Hermione: Should I remind you one of them is THE Harry Potter?
Charlie: Surely he doesn't need another fan
Hermione: HA

[011]
Gin
Hermione: Hey Gin? Can I pick your brain?
Gin: Always. What do you need?
Hermione: Charlie reached out to me for help with the reserve and I've tried everyone in my dept but they're all so busy already
Gin: Help with the reserve? What?
Hermione: The budget's been stripped so low that he thinks they're in trouble
Gin: Oh wow I had no idea
Gin: Is he sending owls from Romani??
Hermione: No he's texting?
Hermione: Do you not have your own brother's number?
Gin: Where'd YOU get my brother's number??
Hermione: From Ron...

[012]
Gin
Gin: I'm gonna fly over there on my broom and kick his ass
Hermione: To Romania??
Gin: No to Ron
Gin: I'm not flying to Romania are you insane
Hermione: Debatable
Hermione: I am trying to help him sort out the budget for a whole dragon reserve
Hermione: Or (oh my god) move dragons? Can we do that?
Gin: They do have wings
Hermione: So helpful
Gin: I try
Hermione: It would take so much money
Gin: THAT you can fundraise for. But you need a plan first

[013]
Gin
Hermione: Oh yes of course. "Give me money! Don't ask for what."
Gin: Well you figure out the what while I bully Ron for Charlie's info
Hermione: I could just give it to you
Gin: No this is more fun

[014]
Ron, Harry [four leaf clover emoji]
Ron: Mione wtf
Hermione: ??
Ron: Why did Ginny just come all the way over here to hit me
Hermione: Well surely by now you know WHY
Harry: Wait what's happening
Ron: Mione set Gin on me!
Hermione: I did no such thing
Hermione: I offered to give her Charlie's info myself and she refused
Harry: Hahahahahahahaha
Harry: Classic Gin
Ron: Fuck's sake
Hermione: Love you Ronnie

[015]
Ron, Harry [four leaf clover emoji]
Ron: Weird way of showing it
Harry: Would you rather [winking kiss emoji]
Ron: Watch it Potter
Hermione: Hahahahahahahahahaha
Hermione: Pretty sure Padma would have my head
Ron: Right you are

[016]
Charlie Weasley
Hermione: Okay, an update
Hermione: (Hi)
Charlie: (Hello)
Hermione: No one in the department has the time
Hermione: BUT
Charlie: I'm listening
Charlie: Or, uh, watching, I guess
Hermione: Gin suggested fundraising. But to do that, we'd need a plan laid out. No one's going to give without at least seeing a plan for how the money will be used.
Charlie: Reasonable
Hermione: So I suppose we should start there
Charlie: We? You've already done as I asked, you don't need to stretch yourself

[017]
Charlie Weasley
Charlie: It was kind of you to take the request in the first place
Hermione: I want to help
Hermione: I would hate to just sit back and wonder
Charlie: You're sure?
Hermione: Absolutely
Charlie: Okay then I suppose it's "we"
Hermione: So I guess the first thing to figure out is what is the ideal state of the reserve? Fully funded as it is now? How much can we plan for? Will the Romanian ministry keep cutting?
Charlie: Wow okay you're already thinking
Hermione: It's what I do
Charlie: So I've heard
Charlie: The Romanian ministry isn't going to change anytime soon

[018]
Charlie Weasley
Charlie: So ideally funding is separate from them altogether
Charlie: Which is going to be tough, as the reserve is governed by them
Hermione: Bugger
Charlie: Haha
Hermione: Could we get it un-governed by them?
Charlie: I... don't know
Charlie: I can find out
Hermione: Ok, do that... I'll keep thinking

[019]
Gin, Lav, Padma, Parvati
Gin: Happy Saturday! What time are we meeting and do I have to wear terrible shoes?
Parvati: Yes [high heel emoji]
Padma: Noooooo [tennis shoe emoji]
Lav; Yes!!! [high heel emoji]
Gin: Ugh
Hermione: What if we stayed in and wore [sock emoji]
Parvati: ABSOLUTELY NOT
Lav: Hermione no
Hermione: Hermione yes
Padma: Merlin help us
Padma: Okay I'm just going to decide
Padma: 8pm starting at the Leaky

[020]
Gin, Lav, Padma, Parvati
Lav: In good shoes [high heel emoji]
Padma: In whatever shoes you like
Parvati: [high heel emoji]
Gin: omg
Hermione: Don't blame me I voted for [sock emoji]
Gin: OK see you at 8 in [shoe emoji]
Parvati: There are not enough shoe emojis
Padma: Okay then madwoman

[021]
A screenshot from Hermione's Instagram. Her username is bookshanks. She has posted a picture of a bar, captioned "ginny's hooooome [beers clanking emoji]" and it is liked by ginandtonic, livelavlove, and 65 others. It has 15 comments.

[022]
The comments beneath Hermione's Instagram:
Lavender: CHEERS BITCHES
Parvati: [high heel emoji] [high heel emoji]
Padma: feels like she was gone forever [sad emoji]
Ginny: you numpties it was two weeks
Blaise: felt like forever, I agree with padma
Padma: smart move, zabini
Ron: don't let her near the tequila

[023]
Harry, Mione
Ron: How's your head, Mione?
Mione: No
Harry: Oh no hahahahahahaha
Harry: Do you need anything?
Harry: Sober-ups?
Ron: Heckling?
Mione: I'll send Gin again
Ron: You wouldn't dare
Ron: If you're hung over, she's fucked
Harry: Hahahahahahahahahaa remember after Lav got the Prophet job
Ron: Merlin don't remind me
Ron: I thought for sure she'd breathe fire
Mione: Stop making my phone ding!!

[024]
Harry, Mione
Ron: There's a handy switch on the left
Harry: Poor Hermione
Harry: We hardly knew ye
Mione: ...
Ron: Ding
Mione: Ron
Ron: [angel emoji]
Mione: [knife emoji]
Harry: C'mon you two
Harry: I didn't sacrifice myself for the two of you to go out this way
Ron: The sacrifice card already?
Mione: This one's for you, Harry [knife emoji]

[025]
Harry, Mione
Harry: Haha I'll be by with a sober-up in 10
Ron: And I'll go get breakfast
Mione: I love you guys
Harry: We know
Ron: It's still nice to hear sometimes
Harry: Don't get all sappy
Mione: Hurry up please

[026]
Blaise [flaming heart emoji]
Blaise: Good morning
Ginny: Is it?
Blaise: Haha had a good time with the girls?
Ginny: Too good
Ginny: Brain's too big for my skull
Blaise: I've got sober-ups and I've got pain potion, what do you need?
Ginny: Both?
Blaise: I'll bring them. Your floo open?
Ginny: For you, always
Blaise: I'm on your wards?
Ginny: As of Friday
Blaise: I'm a lucky man
Ginny: I'm a lucky woman

[027]
A screenshot from Blaise's Instagram. His username is zabeans. The image is a close-up of a sun-lit Ginny, looking past the camera. He has captioned it "how is she mine?" and it has 2 comments. It has been liked by bookshanks, nottyboy, and 36 others.

[028]
A screenshot from Ginny's Instagram. Her user name is ginandtonic. The image is of Blaise, wearing a green, white, and black polo shirt, leaning against a window and looking out it. Ginny has captioned it "he's so [flaming heart emoji]" and it is liked by bonnefoi, parhottie, and 97 others. It has 18 comments.

[029]
A screenshot from Ron's Instagram. His username is roonilwazlib. It's a picture of Hermione, hair wild, in black and white. She's smiling at the camera and in an oversized white t-shirt. He has captioned it "she looks like she's in a good mood but it's because Harry said 'smile or else'" and it has 12 comments. It has been liked by parryhotter, rskeeter, and 645 others.

[030]
A screenshot from Hermione's Instagram. It's a picture of a six-pack of donuts, all different in glazes. She has captioned it "@roonilwazlib saves the day" and it has 85 comments. It is liked by amdap, parhottie, and 5,462 others.

[031]
A screenshot from Harry's Instagram. His username is parryhotter. The image is of a yawning orange kitten, and Harry has captioned it "@bookshanks why do your cats always hate me and Ron". It has 36 comments. It has been liked by 6,445 people.

[032]
Charlie Weasley
Hermione: So I've been thinking
Charlie: And?
Charlie: (Hello)
Hermione: (Hi)
Hermione: If you can't remove the reserve from Romanian governance...
Hermione: There are huge swaths of land formerly owned by Death Eaters currently in Ministry control
Charlie: Interesting
Hermione: I wonder if any of them are the right size to convert into a reserve
Charlie: Mum would be thrilled
Hermione: Would you?
Charlie: I'm going wherever the dragons go, if it happens to appease my mother all the better
Charlie: She's been in my ear since I moved here

[033]
Charlie Weasley
Hermione: Sounds like your mum
Charlie: Tell me she doesn't do this to you
Hermione: She gives me the concerned tutting about how I'm not getting younger and when will I find a good man, but usually just once per visit
Hermione: Unlike Ron
Charlie: Isn't he seeing someone new?
Hermione: My friend Padma. But I don't think he's told your mum yet
Charlie: No need to scare her away with wedding talk
Hermione: That's about what Ron said
Hermione: You should come by the Ministry next time you're in town
Charlie: I think so too
Charlie: Is it actually you I'd talk to or is there someone else whose territory this is?

[034]
Charlie Weasley
Hermione: It's me, now
Charlie: Now?
Hermione: I might as well get credit at work if I'm going to do all of this anyway
Charlie: Clever
Hermione: Did you figure out the governance issue?
Charlie: I found the language in the paperwork but it's a little over my head. I can bring it with me when I visit.
Hermione: And when would that be?
Charlie: I've got something I can't miss tomorrow, but after that. Depends on how fast I can get the international portkey.
Hermione: Ok, let me know!

[035]
Hermione Granger
Charlie: Okay I'll be there tomorrow morning
Charlie: (Hello)
Charlie: (I like this convention)
Hermione: (Hi)
Hermione: (Me too!)
Hermione: What time?
Charlie: Not sure. Still waiting to actually receive my portkey
Hermione: Is it being walked to you by a turtle
Charlie: No
Charlie: Nothing moves with haste here that doesn't also breathe fire and fly
Hermione: I call bullshit
Charlie: Is that so?
Hermione: I bet dragon keepers move with haste when faced with the fire breathing

[036]
Hermione Granger
Charlie: ...ten points to Gryffindor
Hermione: Ever hear of that nickname I hate
Charlie: I've heard you have a few, which do you hate?
Hermione: All of them haha
Charlie: That sounds like a challenge
Hermione: Um
Hermione: Okay haha so if you get here first thing in the morning I can meet you in the atrium
Hermione: If not then my office is in the DRCMC, there's a directory just outside the lifts
Charlie: Got it
Charlie: See you tomorrow then
Hermione: Okay!

[037]
A screenshot of Hermione's locked Twitter account. Her display name is just "hjg," her handle is @biblione, and her header and icon are both of her kitten. The picture Harry took of the cat yawning is her profile image. She has 10 followers, all mutuals. Reading in the order of posting, she has posted in quick succession:
oh no
oh no he's...
oh no [sweating emoji]
oh my GOD
he... tattoos... and the... ohmygod

[038]
A screenshot of the comments below her most recent locked tweet.
hjg @biblione: he... tattoos... and the... ohmygod
red @andtonic: girl who????
hjg @biblione: [hiding emoji]
lav @lavendid: HERMIONE
parv @hottieparvati: if you think you can hide from us think again

Chapter Text

[039]
Gin, Lav, Padma, Parvati
Parvati: HERMIONE JEAN
Parvati: Who are you tweeting about???
Lav: When's the last time we ever saw you acknowledge a man?
Lav: Whoever he is, you HAVE to go for it
Gin: I concur
Gin: Go get him!!!
Parvati: But first who IS HE
Padma: Omg I haven't been on twitter catch me up??
Parvati: [posts screenshot of Hermione's twitter]

[040]
Gin, Lav, Padma, Parvati
Parvati: This!!
Padma: GIRL
Gin: H WHERE ARE YOU
Hermione: I can't omg
Hermione: [3 hiding bashful emojis]
Padma: Let's have it Granger
Parvati: Yes let's have it
Gin: Don't make me come over there
Gin: You know I will
Hermione: STOOOOPPPP OKAY
Hermione: [hiding bashful emoji] it's your brother
Gin: ...

[041]
Gin, Lav, Padma, Parvati
Gin: You're gonna have to be more specif—TATTOOS
Gin: IS CHAR IN TOWN???
Gin: WHY AM I ALWAYS LAST TO KNOW
Hermione: oh my god you cannot say ANYTHING
Gin: What why
Hermione: We're working together
Gin: ...
Parvati: Why does that matter
Lav: Hermione has a strong sense of ethics leave her alone
Padma: lav you work for RITA SKEETER
Hermione: Omg

[042]
Gin, Lav, Padma, Parvati
Gin: I can't believe you have the hots for my brother
Hermione: In my defense have you SEEN HIM LATELY
Gin: ...I'm just gonna take your word for it
Lav: I want a pic
Padma: Oo me too
Parvati: Same!!!
Hermione: I'm not taking a pic
Lav: Boooooooo
Parvati: [2 tomato emojis]
Padma: Is he coming to the Burrow?
Hermione: I don't know, he met me for work reasons

[043] Gin, Lav, Padma, Parvati
Gin: I'll find out
Parvati: It HAS been a while since I've seen your mum
Lav: Or had her incredible cooking
Hermione: you people are relentless
Lav: You could just take a picture
Parvati: Tell him it's for your contact!
Padma: Trade him for one of you! Then he has something to remember your beautiful face
Gin: He used to have belching contests with Bill
Hermione: hahahahaha gin
Gin: Just saying

[044]
Red
Blaise: What was that??
Ginny: haha are you really texting me from across the flat
Blaise: yes
Blaise: Don't dodge the question
Blaise: Why are you screeching like a banshee
Ginny: acromantula in the shower
Blaise: Ha ha ha
Ginny: boggart in the cupboard
Blaise: malevolent spirit in my knickers
Blaise: ...sounds like you need an exorcism
Ginny: Something like that
Ginny: Come and help me out

[045]
red @andtonic: queen of misdirection over here
blaze @incendio: worth it
ron @wonaldreasley: don't make me read this shit
red @andtonic: like you and pads aren't posting pure treacle daily
pads @padamadama: oi
red @andtonic: [winking kiss emoji]

[046]
A screenshot from Ron's Instagram. His handle is roonilwazlib. The picture is of Padma, seated on a balcony and squinting against the sunshine. Ron has captioned it "that's my girl @amdap" and it is liked by bookshanks, livelavlove, and 6,885 others. It has 45 comments.

[047]
A screenshot from Padma's Instagram. Her handle is amdap. The picture is of Ron in 3/4 profile, wearing a striped button-down shirt with the collar open. She has captioned it "my man is [fire emoji]" and it has 27 comments. It has been liked by bookshanks, parhottie, and 655 others.

[048]
parv @hottieparvati: sis did you really just go public to get your eyes on hermione's man
ron @wonaldreasley: hermione's what
pads @padamadama: omg parvati shhhh
lav @lavendid: hahahahahaha
hjg @biblione: i was put on this earth to suffer

[049]
Ron, Harry [shamrock emoji]
Ron: Mione
Hermione: No
Ron: What's this about a man
Harry: A what
Hermione: I have no man
Ron: Pads seems to think you do
Hermione: Padma is extrapolating
Harry: Extrapo Patronum
Ron: No
Hermione: No
Harry: Oh come on
Harry: That was funny
Hermione: No it wasn't

[050]
Ron, Harry [shamrock emoji]
Harry: Yes it was
Ron: The man???
Hermione: Shhh
Hermione: There is no man!
Harry: I'm starting to think something is up
Ron: Right because you're a proper detective
Harry: Why do I sense sarcasm
Ron: Because I'm being sarcastic
Harry: I'm an auror!
Hermione: And yet
Harry: MIONE
Harry: BETRAYED

[051]
Ron, Harry [shamrock emoji]
Hermione: I mean
Hermione: I distinctly remember you telling us of the story of your flurry of Hogwarts letters
Harry: I was ELEVEN
Hermione: Dozens on the floor and you almost fell off a coffee table trying to catch one
Ron: Hahahahahahahahahaha
Hermione: Do I have it right?
Ron: Yes
Harry: Shut up
Ron: The MAN, Hermione

[052]
Ron, Harry [shamrock emoji]
Harry: Yes Hermione
Harry: The MAN
Hermione: Oh fuck off the both of you

[053]
Gin
Gin: Come to dinner at the burrow tonight
Gin: Mum's making the whole holiday special
Hermione: What why
Hermione: Is there a Weasley event I'm forgetting?
Gin: No she's just excited
Gin: Char's in town
Hermione: Right
Hermione: He is
Hermione: That is true
Gin: Hermione
Gin: You are coming to dinner
Hermione: I dunno I might have plans
Gin: I will send Blaise over there to carry you to the burrow over his shoulder like a caveman

[054]
Gin
Hermione: He wouldn't
Gin: That man will do anything I ask, babe. He loves me
Hermione: Oh has he said so????
Hermione: GIN
Gin: Yes this morning!!!
Hermione: !!!!!!!!!!
Gin: Anyway you better be there tonight
Hermione: Ok fine fine fine
Gin: Wear your jeans
Hermione: What why
Gin: Because they make your arse look incredible
Hermione: omg

[055]
Charlie Weasley
Charlie: It was nice to see you outside the Ministry yesterday
Charlie: (Hello)
Hermione: You, too! I like that you're not a circle with initials in it anymore
Hermione: (Hi)
Charlie: Your friends are great
Hermione: That they are
Charlie: Ron seems a good forty percent stupider around Padma
Hermione: Hahahaha he's smitten!
Charlie: We don't all get dumber around a beautiful woman
Hermione: Bill's never dumb and he's married to Fleur Delacour
Charlie: "Bill's never dumb" my arse
Charlie: I have stories

[056]
Charlie Weasley
Hermione: I bet you do!
Hermione: Did you already get a portkey back?
Charlie: Yes. Back at mine now
Charlie: I'm going to catch the director up on what I learned at the Ministry later today
Hermione: I'm going to see how much information I can get on those land parcels
Charlie: Sounds like we have a plan
Hermione: We certainly do

[057]
Gin
Gin: Okay I have to say it
Hermione: Say what?
Gin: If you and Char had babies their hair would be so outta control it could eat people
Hermione: Hahahahahaha gin
Hermione: Why
Gin: I'm just saying both of you are curly messes
Gin: The MAINTENANCE
Gin: I can only imagine a shared bathroom situation would be a war zone
Hermione: omg hahaha

[058]
Red
Blaise: So Charlie
Ginny: What about him?
Blaise: He kept looking at Hermione
Ginny: What
Ginny: HE DID NOT
Blaise: Oh yes he did
Ginny: HAAHAHA OKAY
Ginny: Okay you cannot tell anyone
Ginny: But
Blaise: I'm listening
Ginny: Hermione never notices men, right? She's too busy and in love with books and cats and doesn't realize when people are flirting with her
Ginny: But she went all the way to feral priv tweets immediately upon seeing Charlie
Blaise: Hahaha "feral"

[059]
Red
Ginny: I mean it! Barely coherent "ohmygod" content
Blaise: I can HEAR you scheming from here
Ginny: Hush my scheming is silent
Blaise: Keep telling yourself that
Hermione: I'll scheme YOU
Blaise: Intriguing
Blaise: Tell me more

[060]
A screenshot from Blaise's Instagram. His handle is zabeans. The image is a close up of Ginny, hair pulled over one shoulder, and she is looking down with a pleased look on her face. Blaise has captioned it "i love her i love her i love her" and it has 587 comments. It has been liked by bonnefoi, parryhotter, and 6,448 others.

[061]
Hermione Granger
Charlie: A new development
Charlie: (Hello)
Hermione: Do tell!
Hermione: (Hi)
Charlie: The director (Gio) thinks the funding is getting slashed out of spite. Supposedly there's something up in the ministry that got personal but I don't know the how or what
Hermione: That's ...wow
Hermione: Okay
Hermione: I don't think that changes anything about what we need to do
Charlie: No, I don't either
Charlie: But if we need the ministry's input on anything it might get touchy
Hermione: Hmm
Hermione: Well, you think about how to overcome that while I hammer away at this land situation

[062]
Hermione Granger
Charlie: Any luck?
Hermione: "It's not my department" but I'm persistent. And my best friend is Harry Potter, if I need to pull weight. He's the ace in my sleeve.
Charlie: Haha would he help?
Hermione: Without question
Charlie: Good man
Hermione: The greatest

[063]
hjg @biblione: [gif of Jed Bartlet mashing his head against the Resolute desk from the West Wing]
red @andtonic: hahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

<[064]
Char, Percy, George, Bill, Ronnie
Ginny: This has to be the easiest way to get Char all of your info, say your names so he can save them
George: Percy
Percy: Very funny, George. I'm Percy.
Bill: Bill
Ronnie: He's got me already
George: Yeah all right I'm George
Char: I trust nothing
Ginny: You had to make this difficult didn't you
Char: How many teeth did I lose in the double broom incident and who put them back
George: In the what

[065]
Char, Percy, George, Bill, Ronnie
Percy: 4 and dad did
Char: Gotcha Perce
Ginny: Double broom incident?
Ronnie: Must've been before our time
Bill: Ron was in nappies
George: Why don't I remember
Chat: Naptimes, Georgy boy
Ginny: Oy you lot are going to blow my phone up for the rest of time aren't you
Ginny: Never tell mum about phones
Ronnie: Oh merlin
Bill: Nooooo imagine the texts

[066]
Char, Percy, George, Bill, Ronnie
Char: If I have to fight off texts about living too far away and when am I gonna get married and how many tattoos does one man need I swear on everything I will feed all of you to a dragon
Percy: She's not that bad
Bill: Says you
Bill: "Bill when are you going to give me another grandbaby"
Ronnie: Hahahaha Victoire's like three months old
Bill: Four tomorrow. But YEAH
Char: I swear on my life Perce you'll be suspect #1 if I suddenly get texts about how long my hair is
Percy: I get it, calm yourselves

[067]
Char, Percy, George, Bill, Ronnie
Ginny: Hahaha George you're awfully quiet
George: Just buying mum a phone hang on
Char: GEORGE
George: Fun story
George: I'm not George
George: I'm Fred
Percy: Here we go again
Ronnie: Hahahaha
Ginny: I've made a huge mistake

[068]
Hermione Granger
Charlie: Bloody ministry's decided we don't need a cursebreaker
Hermione: I take it that's a bad thing
Hermione: (Hi)
Charlie: (Hello)
Charlie: Yes terrible
Charlie: Half the eggs we get delivered are in some sort of cursed container and found in the back of some horrible dark wizard's vaults
Hermione: Half!?
Charlie: Well we don't get deliveries that often
Hermione: Oh haha you made it sound like a regular occurrence
Hermione: How frequent is it?
Charlie: Off the top of my head 3/4 of the eggs we collect are wild caught and the other 1/4 are delivered. Last year we got maybe 20 all year

[069]
Hermione Granger
Charlie: Even still, 2-3 curses in a year is dangerous, we need someone who knows what they're doing
Hermione: And contracting cursebreakers in a case by case basis isn't a reasonable option?
Charlie: Why must you be so sensible when I'm venting
Hermione: Oh! By all means continue
Charlie: Nah I think you've reasoned me off the ledge
Hermione: Glad to be of service
Charlie: Any luck with land?
Hermione: Maybe? I'm starting to think I don't know enough about their current environs to make decisions
Charlie: Mountains, temperate but cool most of the year, snowy in winter, moderate rain, rocky vs muddy

[070]
Hermione Granger
Hermione: ...sounds like Scotland
Charlie: Feels like it, too
Charlie: You could always make a visit and see for yourself
Hermione: I would need to make the case to my boss
Charlie: Or take time off
Charlie: It doesn't have to be all business, you know

[071]
hjg @biblione: SCREAMING
[screenshot of the last few text lines from Hermione's POV]

[072]
lav @lavendid: omg you have to go
parv @hottieparvati: omg!!!
red @andtonic: wtf I've never been!!?
ron @wonaldreasley: me either :(
nev @midsides: nor me
hjp @prongsthesecond: me either

[073]
Charlie Weasley
Charlie: It doesn't have to be all business, you know
Hermione: You're sure I wouldn't be an imposition?
Charlie: Not at all! I can show you around> It's good camping weather right now, too.
Charlie: If you're up for camping, that is. It's the best way to see the reserve.
Hermione: I haven't done it much, but I'm not opposed. As long as you're patient with me.
Charlie: I can be patient when I want to be
Hermione: In that case I'll take a look at my calendar and we can figure out dates

[074]
Gin
Gin: Hermione Jean Granger how have you gotten an invitation to Romania before me
Hermione: It's for work!
Gin: mmhmm and that's why I am fully ready to spend all day every day refreshing my feed while you panic tweet about his arse
Hermione: I will not
Ginny: and I quote "he... tattoos... and the... ohmygod"
Hermione: shut up
Gin: Never
Gin: Are you going?
Hermione: I mean it seems necessary to the work
Gin: HANG WORK IT'S NECESSARY FOR YOUR DRY SPELL

[075]
Gin
Hermione: fuck off omg
Gin: why are you allergic to fun
Hermione: I need to stay professional
Gin: I need you to get laid
Hermione: I'm going on airplane mode omg

[076]
Ron, Harry [shamrock emoji]
Ron: Mione
Ron: Mione
Ron: Miiiioneeeeee
Harry: what
Ron: you're not mione
Harry: well she isn't answering
Harry: I'm helping
Ron: Are not
Harry: Mione
Ron: What are you doing now???
Harry: H E L P I N G
Harry: MIONE
Ron: Mione!!

[077]
Ron, Harry [shamrock emoji]
Hermione: Ginny put you up to this
Ron: She did
Ron: Why're you getting invited to Romania before me
Harry: Wait you're gonna go see the dragons???? Cool!
Hermione: For work
Hermione: Does no one listen to me
Harry: What are you doing for work?
Harry: You didn't tell me you had a new project
Ron: Hey yeah that's awesome!
Hermione: I mean I sort of do?
Harry: What?

[078]
Ron, Harry [shamrock emoji]
Hermione: Charlie's worried about the reserve funding, so he asked me to help him sort out a contingency plan in case it gets slashed again.
Hermione: I ran it by my boss and he agreed I had the time so I was able to fold it into my actual work, which is helpful for my (hopeful) career development
Ron: wait the reserve fund is getting slashed? Why?
Hermione: Charlie said the director thinks it's politics
Harry: That sucks
Harry: Can we help?
Ron: How are we going to help, Harry, we're Aurors
Hermione: Actually
Harry: Ha!

[079]
Ron, Harry [shamrock emoji]
Hermione: I was thinking... you know all that land the Ministry took from the Death Eaters?
Ron: Oh right it's just kind of sat there
Harry: Some of it is full of cursed shit
Ron: Well yeah but that's what cursebreakers are for
Hermione: ANYWAY I've been trying to see details about those plots, how big they are, maps, anything
Hermione: But it's "not my department"
Harry: Maybe it's mine
Hermione: I love you, have I told you lately?
Harry: It's been too long since we got up to mischief

[080]
Ron, Harry [shamrock emoji]
Hermione: No no it's not mischief
Ron: Yeah it is. Don't fight it
Hermione: Don't cock it up
Ron: I would never
Harry: I might.
Harry: But I'm Harry Potter.
Hermione: [unamused emoji]

Chapter Text

[081]
Draco, Pansy, Red, Theo, Greg
Blaise: Making a gc with Gin. Everyone behave. You especially, Theo.
Theo: I resent that
Draco: He has good reason
Red: Wait. Names please!
Daph: Daphne!
Draco: Draco
Theo: Theo at your service
Pansy: Pansy
Greg: Greg
Greg: Hi
Red: Hello! OK I have everyone

[082]
Draco, Pansy, Red, Theo, Greg
Red: Tempted to name the gc snake pit but I will refrain
Theo: [snake emoji]
Pansy: Try "Theo Containment Squad"
Draco: He doesn't need containment
Blaise: Disagree
Red: Interesting...
Daph: He's just enthusiastic
Daph: Like a puppy
Greg: At least he chews on Draco instead of the furniture
Theo: This is hardly the first impression I want to give people
Red: We've met...

[083]
Draco, Pansy, Red, Theo, Greg
Theo: I mean in text!
Theo: I'm very suave and charming in person
Pansy: It's true
Pansy: We learned very quickly that Theo cannot shut up in text format
Draco: Yes he can
Blaise: Okay when Draco isn't distracting him he can't shut up in text
Theo: I like Draco better than all of you anyway
Greg: We know
Daph: Soooo Ginny does this mean you're joining Blaise for Theo's birthday on Saturday
Red: Yup!

[084]
Draco, Pansy, Red, Theo, Greg
Pansy: I hope you like dancing
Blaise: In the smallest dress please
Daph: Keep it out of the gc Blaise
Daph: Theo and Draco are bad enough
Theo: [frowning emoji]
Daph: Shh we love you
Red: You guys make me laugh
Greg: It happens
Blaise: I told you they're fun, Red

[085]
A screenshot from Pansy's Instagram. Her handle is heartsease, and the image is a 3-piece collage of a black-and-white themed birthday party. The cake is frosted in black with white drip frosting and sprinkles. There are cookies-and-cream shots, white with black cookie bits floating on top. And there are dipped strawberries in black, white, and gold. She has captioned it "no one throws a better party than I do. happy birthday teddybear [black heart emoji]." It is liked by bonnefoi, nottyboy, and 6,451 others, and has 45 comments.

[086]
A screenshot from Draco's Instagram. His handle is bonnefoi. The image is of Pansy, hair styled and artfully draped over one eye. She is looking at the camera and has a jeweled hand in front of her chin, looking thoughtful. Draco has captioned it "why do we bother when she always shows us up," and it is liked by ginandtonic, zabeans, and 652 others. It has 24 comments.

[087]
A screenshot from Theo's Instagram. His handle is nottyboy. The picture is of Draco, hair slicked down, in a white button-down shirt, black slacks, and suspenders. He is wearing black thick-framed glasses, leaning on a piano, his eyes downcast. There are two other people in the background, one in a black shirt holding a saxophone, and the other in a white shirt and tie. Theo has captioned the image "he wore the glasses [glasses emoji] [two hot sweaty emojis]" and it is liked by heartsease, zabeans, and 6,521 others. It has 52 comments.

[088]
A screenshot from Blaise's Instagram. His handle is zabeans. The image is of Ginny, in a white dress with a slim black belt, a white headband, and chunky black and white earrings, looking back over her shoulder as she rides a little white scooter outside. Blaise has captioned it "dear @heartsease keep giving her reasons to wear fancy things i beg you [3 flaming heart emojis]" and it is liked by bookshanks, livelavlove, and 6,542 others. It has 68 comments.

[089]
Red
Blaise: On a scale of "normal" to "Blaise please come to me with sober-ups and your healing touch," where are you this morning?
Red: "I can't believe you passed out at Pansy's and there was nowhere for me to sleep so I went home alone"
Red: Where's that on the scale
Blaise: Probably between "come beg forgiveness on your knees" and "let's find out how many orgasms make an adequate apology"?
Red: It's at least three jsyk
Blaise: Can I come over?
Red: Only if you bring a sober-up along with your healing touch
Blaise: Haha I love you
Red: Prove it

[090]
red @andtonic: he repents and is forgiven [a photo of Blaise face-down and naked in rumpled bedsheets that cover him from the waist down]
pans @heartsease: tell him he's an idiot one more time for me [kissing wink emoji]

[091]
Ginster
Ginny: You should get an insta
Charlie: And what in the world is an insta
Ginny: Instagram
Ginny: You post pics for your friends to see
Charlie: Okaaaayyy... pics of what, just anything?
Ginny: Yeah! Anything you want. And you can add friends and see their pics too, it's a good way to keep up. Ron, George, and I have them already and I'm working on the rest of you
Charlie: Who else has it?
Ginny: Harry, Hermione, most of our friends
Charlie: Sure ok
Ginny: YESSSSSSS

[092]
Ginster
Charlie: Wait I have to come up with a username?
Ginny: I swear to god if you make it "charlieweasley" I'm going to stomp on your foot the next time I see you. Be creative
Charlie: Well now I have to think about it
Ginny: I'm sure you'll come up with something
Ginny: Add me when you're in there! I'm ginandtonic
Charlie: Do you even drink those?
Ginny: Not the point

[093]
A screenshot from Charlie's Instagram. He has chosen hebrideanred as his username. The image is a screenshot of a lakeside dock/path by a wooded mountain lake, fog shrouding the top of the mountains from view. He has captioned the image with "It's misty this morning. One of the longhorns is sleeping just behind that copse of trees on the left. No tickling."

[094]
Gin
Hermione: OMG
Hermione: GINNY
Ginny: Yeeeeeessss?
Hermione: CHARLIE JUST GOT AN IG?????
Ginny: You're welcome!!
Hermione: omg

[095]
hjg @biblione: he just LIVES THERE????? look at how pretty omg omg ok where's my calendar [screenshot from Charlie's IG]

[096]
Charlie Weasley
Hermione: So
Hermione: (Hi)
Hermione: I can do any weekend except this upcoming one if I pop in Saturday morning and then leave Sunday night. OR
Charlie: (Hello)
Hermione: In three weeks (first week of August) I could do five days (Weds-Sun)
Charlie: That's the better choice
Charlie: Then you can really get a feel for the reserve and see the place
Hermione: That sounds lovely
Charlie: I don't know if you saw yet but Ginny convinced me to get an Instagram account. I'll post some more views for you.
Charlie: But pictures don't compare to the real thing, just keep that in mind [winking emoji]
Hermione: Nice! I'll add you when I open it next

[097]
hjg @biblione: play it cool hermione
hjg @biblione: you definitely didn't immediately go peeking you'll add him next time you open it that's technically true
hjg @biblione: oh god what if he posts selfies
hjg @biblione: [2 praying hands emojis] i'm not a religious person but god if you're listening please give me one (1) single thirst trap i beg of you

[098]
Gin
Ginny: hahaha your priv
Ginny: you're weak
Hermione: so weak
Hermione: he's just so
Ginny: please don't wax poetic at me about my big brother
Hermione: he inspires prose in me
Ginny: more like incoherent hamster sounds but sure
Hermione: hamster???
Ginny: [hamster emoji]
Ginny: you squeak
Hermione: omg

[099]
Lav, Padma, Parvati
Parvati: Ok Hermione details please!!
Lav: Yes we're dying here
Hermione: Wait what's happening
Parvati: Well you can't dish properly about Gin's brother with her in the chat
Padma: Belching contests, honestly
Hermione: Hahaha
Hermione: There's nothing to dish about
Lav: Fuck off I've seen your priv
Lav: You're arse over tit for the man
Parvati: Seriously
Padma: Hahaha
Padma: Ron keeps asking me if I know anything

[100]
Lav, Padma, Parvati
Hermione: Omg you can't spy for him
Hermione: Friend shroud of secrecy!!!
Parvati: Do we boot Pads
Padma: NO
Padma: I'll keep [2 zipped lips emojis]
Lav: You better!
Padma: I will!
Hermione: I'm going to Romania the first week of August
Hermione: Five days
Parvati: !!!! To do what!?
Hermione: Learn the reserve, get a better idea of what I would need to find in terms of land/environment... this is work, I have to be professional

[101]
Lav, Padma, Parvati
Padma: Excuse me are you going as a work trip or are you taking time off
Hermione: Does that matter?
Lav: YES
Lav: If you're WORKING then it's work
Parvati: Time off is your time!
Parvati: Which is it?
Hermione: Time off
Lav: [3 red alarm light emojis] Hermione's getting shagged!!
Padma: omg
Hermione: SLOW DOWN NO I'M NOT
Hermione: Even if I think he's so fucking fit... I can't think like that. He hasn't said a word that isn't pure professionalism

[102]
Lav, Padma, Parvati
Lav: "It doesn't all have to be business"
Parvati: "It doesn't all have to be business"
Padma: Hahaha
Hermione: Please slow down I think he's just being a Weasley
Hermione: I'm friends with his kid siblings
Hermione: For all I know he has a girlfriend in Romania
Parvati: All due respect Hermione...
Parvati: You're being such a pain in my arse right now
Lav: Seconded
Padma: Don't talk yourself out of even trying
Padma: We all saw him at the Burrow when he was here

[103]
Lav, Padma, Parvati
Padma: AND the way you kept looking at him
Parvati: Right! I haven't seen you this distracted by a man since Viktor came to visit after the memorial
Lav: Oh yeah wow that was ages ago
Lav: I forgot
Hermione: Don't remind me
Padma: Not every man is going to break your heart, Hermione
Hermione: He hasn't sent me any signs at all
Hermione: As far as I know he is really just in touch to save the reserve and so it doesn't matter what I'm feeling
Lav: I'm coming over
Hermione: What why
Parvati: Me too

[104]
Lav, Padma, Parvati
Lav: You're two seconds from a pity party
Padma: Indian or Chinese?
Hermione: Chinese
Parvati: Fried rice, not steamed!
Padma: I'll get both

[105]
Hermione Granger
Hermione: Does the name Wilhelm Milmann ring a bell?
Hermione: (Hi)
Charlie: Yes, actually
Charlie: Gimme a second, I just woke up
Hermione: Oh sorry!
Charlie: Don't be, I should have been up half an hour ago
Charlie: Moving slowly, I took a hit yesterday
Hermione: You're okay?
Charlie: (Hello)
Charlie: Yeah, nothing permanently damaged. Shouldn't even scar
Charlie: Pretty bruised up though
Hermione: Does that happen a lot?

[106]
Hermione Granger
Charlie: It's part of the job. I've gotten pretty good at avoiding serious injury but it's bound to happen now and then
Hermione: [uneasy frown emoji]
Charlie: Don't you worry your pretty head over me. I'm a pro
Charlie: Anyway, Milmann
Charlie: He's pretty high up on the staff at the little Reserve in Bavaria
Hermione: Is he somehow involved in Romanian politics? Do you know?
Charlie: No idea
Hermione: Can you dig around a little? His name keeps coming up, I have a nagging feeling.
Charlie: Sure can
Charlie: Any luck with land?
Hermione: Harry's on it

[107]
Hermione Granger
Hermione: He and Ron are excited to make some mischief, so Merlin only knows what they're up to
Charlie: Ha. Lucky us.
Hermione: Or something.
Hermione: Have you got any of George's bruise paste?
Charlie: I told you not to worry about me
Hermione: Too bad

[108]
Gin
Hermione: Um so what do I pack to spend 5 days on a dragon reserve?
Hermione: DON'T SAY LACE KNICKERS
Gin: Bugger you beat me to it
Hermione: Please be serious
Gin: FINE
Gin: Boots, jeans, layers... those terrible socks you like so much, probably
Hermione: They're comfortable
Gin: They're ugly
Hermione: Shut up I love them
Hermione: I'm not outdoorsy enough for this man
Gin: Let him teach you! I bet he would love that
Hermione: What if I make a fool of myself

[109]
Gin
Gin: You'll be endearing
Hermione: Somehow I doubt it
Gin: You're getting worked up for no reason, Char is like the most easygoing person in the world
Hermione: Would you ever call ME easygoing?
Gin: Opposites attract, babe
Gin: You'll be fine!!
Gin: Take lots of pictures
Hermione: If I don't die of mortification within minutes of arriving
Gin: I mean if you do end up swooning I'm sure he'll catch you
Hermione: You're not helping

[110]
A screenshot from Charlie's Instagram. It's a black-and-white picture of two dragons flying in silhouette in front of misty, wooded mountains. He has captioned it "Caught a good one of Sal and Dru this morning. They're the most recent dragonlings to take to the sky. Never gets old." It is liked by bookshanks, georgieforgie, and 5 others. It has 1 comment.

[111]
A screenshot from Charlie's Instagram. It's a nighttime picture of the forest, moonlight shining through gaps in the trees. It's not black and white, but it's so dark it may as well be. You can see some mossy green in the moonlit parts of the ground. He has captioned it "Peaceful in the evening... until one of the beasties makes a racket. Hebridean Blacks are night owls!" It is liked by bookshanks, ginandtonic, and 6 others. It has 4 comments.

[112]
Char, Percy, George, Bill, Ronnie
Char: Hey siblings who know her better than me, is there anything I should make sure I've got in the house when Hermione gets here?
Ronnie: Sugar quills
Ginny: Blankets
George: A cat
Ronnie: Don't get a cat
Ginny: It would melt her heart into a puddle if you did though
Ginny: If that's a thing you'd want to do
Ronnie: ...what
Ginny: Nothing
Ginny: She likes Indian food
Percy: [detective emoji] [monocle emoji]

[113]
Char, Percy, George, Bill, Ronnie
George: Books too
George: Don't forget books
Char: I have more than I need already
Bill: She's a lovely house guest, Char. Just make sure you've aired it out so it doesn't smell like a quidditch locker.
Char: Fuck off
Percy: Hahahaha
Ronnie: Don't you live in a tiny hut
Ronnie: Where's she going to sleep
Char: I live in a perfectly normal cottage, first of all
Char: And we're going camping, at least for part of it

[114]
Char, Percy, George, Bill, Ronnie
Ronnie: Uhhh are you aware of her war history
Ginny: Oh fuck right
Char: Wait what, tell me
Ronnie: We spent months in a tent hunting horcruxes and running from snatchers
Char: She said she wasn't opposed
Ginny: Well trust her
Ginny: She'll tell you if she isn't okay with something
Ronnie: It's probably nothing to worry about anyway, it was such a different time
George: There aren't any minions of malevolent dictators roving the forests of Romania that might threaten her existence for simply being muggleborn, are there?

[115]
Char, Percy, George, Bill, Ronnie
Char: Shit
Char: I mean no there aren't but shit
Ginny: Seriously if she didn't say anything about it I wouldn't worry
Ginny: She's not made of glass
Ronnie: And she'll hex your bollocks off if she thinks you're treating her like she is, just a heads up
George: He would know, he's down one
Ronnie: Says the one-eared wonder
George: Oi
Percy: Hahahahaha

Chapter Text

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[115]
Draco, Pansy, Red, Theo, Greg
Greg: Who has the first round tonight? I forget.
Daph: I do
Draco: We're going to be late
Blaise: Again?
Theo: My fault
Theo: He's mad at me
Greg: How??
Draco: He broke the piano
Theo: It was an ACCIDENT
Theo: AND I fixed it
Draco: Tell them what else you did, you arse

[116]
Draco, Pansy, Red, Theo, Greg
Pansy: Is this a Draco strop?
Theo: Yes
Draco: No
Blaise: Should we reschedule
Draco: Yes
Theo: No
Greg: No!
Daph: Maybe Theo should get first round
Pansy: fuck's sake

[117]
Red
Ginny: Is this a regular occurrence?
Blaise: Draco's touchy about the piano
Ginny: Obviously
Blaise: It's how he manages his emotions. He was really fucked up after the war, more than the rest of us.
Blaise: Not making excuses for him, just explaining how he is now as a result
Ginny: Okay
Blaise: He's a natural at Occlumency
Blaise: But he wasn't properly trained in it, because the person who pushed and tested him on it was Bellatrix Lestrange
Blaise: His aunt
Ginny: I know who she is
Ginny: Was

[118]
Red
Blaise: Point is she fucked him up and he overdid the Occlumency during the war and it sort of turned into a crisis response
Blaise: I've watched him shut down and get stuck in his own mind a few times when things get really hard and it's honestly fucking scary
Ginny: Wow okay
Ginny: So the piano is his outlet
Blaise: It helps him a lot
Blaise: He played at the party as a gift to Theo but ALSO to keep himself grounded in the crowd
Blaise: He's not good in large crowds
Ginny: This is all good to know
Ginny: So will he and Theo be ok tonight or...
Blaise: If not they won't come

[119]
Red
Blaise: He'll be okay. Theo said he fixed the piano so whatever happened on top of that probably IS a "Draco strop," as Pans put it
Ginny: Haha and what is a Draco strop
Blaise: He picks something you said and makes it a criminal offense
Blaise: It's a fear reaction, if his emotions get too high he panics that he's going to panic and deflects with an easy fight
Blaise: Or he hides
Ginny: I know it's not my place and I'd never ask him, but has he seen a mind healer?
Blaise: Once a week since the memorial
Blaise: It really does help, as dramatic as all this seems
Blaise: He just has the occasional flare-up

[120]
Red
Ginny: Well it's helpful context, thank you for trusting me with it
Blaise: Thank you for being you
Ginny: Want me to come by before the pub?
Blaise: Fuck yes I do

[121]
A screenshot from Pansy's Instagram. It's a photo of a table with four pints of beer in varying states of emptiness and a little bowl of snacks in the middle. Someone's hand is visible on the left of the frame, resting on the wooden table. She has captioned it "quieter pub night with @gargoyle, @daphodil, @ginadntonic, and @zabeans. It has 54 comments and has been liked by @flintfyre, @nottyboy, and 5,562 others.

[122]
A screenshot from Ginny's Instagram. It's a close-up of Pansy, making a face at the camera with her nose scrunched up and her lips pursed. Her hair is pulled back and she has black eyeliner on with pink lipstick. Ginny has captioned it "thankful @zabeans introduced me to this absolute riot of a woman!!! [five black heart emojis] @heartsease!" and it has 58 comments. It has been liked by @gargoyle, @daphodil, @zabeans, and 6,548 others.

[123]
A screenshot from Theo's Instagram. It's a picture of Draco, sulking with his arms crossed, in a grey cable-knit sweater. His hair is mussed and he looks unhappy. Theo has captioned it "I love you even when you're sabotaging yourself, you great dramatic angel" and it has 5 comments. It has been liked by @daphodil, @heartsease, and 64 others.

[124]
A screenshot from Blaise's Instagram. It's a close-up of Ginny, hair down around her makeup-free face. She is wearing a cozy grey cowl-neck knit sweater. He has captioned it "should I be worried that literally everyone that meets her loves her more than me" and it has 25 comments. It has been liked by @bookshanks, @parhottie, and 9,954 others.

[125]
Harry, Mione
Harry: When do you leave for Romania again? Tomorrow?
Mione: Portkey is set for 10am
Ron: Today??
Mione: Yep!
Harry: Who has the hellbeast
Mione: She's not a hellbeast
Mione: Lavender does
Ron: Why Lav?
Mione: Because they love each other
Harry: Why do your cats never like me
Mione: Crooks liked you, you just didn't like him
Ron: Crooks hated me

[126]
Harry, Mione
Harry: I think Scabbers ruined your reputation with Crooks
Ron: It's not like Crooks left a note for his successor though so why does Rumples hate me?
Harry: Beats me
Mione: She's a kitten, she'll get used to you
Mione: Anyway I need to finish packing
Ron: Are you really going camping??
Harry: Hahaha what
Mione: He said it was the best way to see the reserve!
Harry: I thought you swore off tents
Ron: Yeah same
Ron: I did

[127]
Harry, Mione
Harry: Yeah fuck tents really
Mione: If camping with Charlie on the reserve feels even slightly like hiding from the law with the two of you, something has gone terribly wrong
Ron: True. Char hasn't got any horcruxes
Harry: That we know of
Ron: Evil does not touch my family thank you very much
Harry: Gin was possessed by Voldemort
Harry: Percy worked for Barty Crouch
Harry: Your mum is in history books for dueling with Voldemort's favorite Death Eater
Mione: Winning the duel against her is not being "touched" by evil

[128]
Harry, Mione
Harry: Arguable
Ron: Why are you the way you are, Harry
Harry: Childhood trauma
Ron: Dursleys dropped you on your head a few times
Harry: Very likely, yes
Mione: Ok don't get into too much trouble without me while I'm gone
Ron: Have fun gawking at my brother's arse while you're hiking
Harry: Hahaha
Mione: Have fun getting me that land info I asked for
Harry: Haven't forgotten!
Ron: I had

[129]
Harry, Mione
Harry: No you hadn't
Ron: Your word against mine and you have brain trauma
Mione: Hahaha okay I have 5 min [waving emoji]
Harry: Love you!!
Ron: Have fun!!

[130]
A screenshot of Neville's private Twitter account. His banner is a meme of the Lorax that reads "I speak for the trees, and the trees say 'can you fuckin not'". His avatar is a mandrake plant. His username is @midsides, and his DN is just "nev." His profile reads "[mandrake scream]" and he has 23 mutuals. He has posted a post that reads "
what if I quit my job and moved home

what then
" and it has 15 likes and 8 comments.

[131]
A screenshot of comments on Neville's tweet. They read:
red @andtonic: SCREAMING PLEASE
parv @hottieparvati: omg nev you can't tease us like this
hjp @prongsthesecond: oh shit really?
hjg @biblione: I'LL PAY YOU PLEASE COME HOME

[132]
A screenshot of more comments on Neville's tweet. They read:
luna @dublunes: [three pleading smiley faces]
lav @lavendid: if you need help finding a new job here I will help!!!
pads @padamadama: NEVILLE YES
ron @wonaldreasley: hold up I'll come get you myself

[133]
Theo
Theo: Hey do you think Ginny would be willing to fly with Draco?
Blaise: No doubt
Blaise: I can put together a pickup match
Blaise: Think Draco would be ok with her bringing Potter and her brothers along?
Theo: Shit lol either it's a good time or he blows the fuck up
Blaise: He at least knows them
Theo: Ehhhh not like they were friends though. Let me talk to him and see what he thinks. Maybe just Ginny the first time?
Blaise: Yeah good idea
Blaise: I'll ask her if she's up for it this weekend
Theo: Has to be Saturday, he's got a thing Sunday

[134]
Theo
Theo: At St. Mungo's
Blaise: Ah ok
Blaise: Gotcha
Theo: He shut down on Friday over barely anything, it was weird
Blaise: Fuck, really? Any idea why?
Theo: Not sure
Theo: He's been mopey
Blaise: Mopey?
Theo: Just generally out of sorts
Theo: He's seeing his mind healer this afternoon, maybe that will help
Blaise: Should I worry?
Theo: I don't think so... not yet
Blaise: Let me know if things change
Blaise: You know I'll be there

[135]
Blaise [flaming heart emoji]
Blaise: Good morning
Blaise: I've got a question for you
Ginny: Ask away, handsome
Blaise: You free to fly on Saturday? Theo thinks Draco could use a pickup match.
Ginny: Oh yeah sure! Do you have enough people or should I ask around?
Blaise: Just you this time... apparently D's having a rough go of it at the moment
Blaise: If it goes well though I think it could be fun getting more of your friends involved
Ginny: Reignite some old rivalries [kissing wink emoji]
Blaise: Haha yeah
Ginny: So who would I be flying with? You, Draco...? Greg?

[136]
Blaise [flaming heart emoji]
Blaise: Theo'll probably reach out to Marcus and Graham, too
Ginny: I don't think I know them
Blaise: Flint and Montague ring a bell?
Ginny: OH
Ginny: Yes
Blaise: Haha there you go
Blaise: They fly with us a lot. If we're uneven Daph might join in but she never played at school so she doesn't always want to
Ginny: Why didn't she?
Blaise: Her dad said it was unladylike
Ginny: Oh fuck that
Ginny: Tell her she's playing
Blaise: Hahaha I love you
Ginny: [kissing wink emoji]

[137]
A screenshot from Hermione's private twitter.
hjg @biblione: international portkeys are the worst [nauseated emoji]
luna @dublunes: I throw up every time if it makes you feel better [two hearts emoji]
nev @midsides: yeah they are... maybe the muggle way is better
hjp @prongsthesecond: those take hours
ron @wonaldreasley: bet no one chucks it though
hjg @biblione: some still do actually

[138]
From Hermione's private twitter, in order of posting:
hjg @biblione: he— [two sweating emojis]
hjg @biblione: becoolbecoolbecoolbecool
hjg @biblione: his shoulders [two eyes emojis]

[139]
From Hermione's private twitter, in order of posting:
hjg @biblione: fuck i love his laugh
hjg @biblione: fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

[140]
A screenshot of Hermione's private twitter profile. Her header is a sleeping orange kitten. Her avatar is of Rumples yawning, as taken by Harry. Her profile reads 'shh.' Her most recent 3 tweets in order of posting read:
hjg @biblione: hahaha hahaha HAHAHAHA I'm so fucking awkward he probably can't wait for me to leave [anguished emoji]
hjg @biblione: goddamnit hermione jean you're the worst i hate you
hjg @biblione: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????)??))!!!!!

[141]
A screenshot from Hermione's Instagram. It's a picture of Charlie in a leather jacket with a shearling lining. He's looking off to the left, and there is a large fire beside him. Hermione has captioned it "my tour guide for the long weekend @hebrideanred and the fire I didn't help build even a little bit [fire emoji]" and it has 521 comments. It has been liked by @ginandtonic, @parryhotter, and 8,842 others.

[142]
A screenshot from Hermione's Instagram. It's a picture of mountainous scenery with thick trees in front and the roof of a little cottage in the foreground. She's captioned it "he just lives here? every day?? @hebrideanred" and it has 885 comments. It has been liked by ginandtonic, livelavlove, and 65,547 others.

[143]
A screenshot from Hermione's Instagram. The image is of snow capped mountains behind smaller, greener hills. The foreground is a still green-blue lake. Hermione has captioned it "good fucking godric" and it has 5,587 comments. It is liked by @hebrideanred, @zabeans, and 68,452 others.

[144]
A screenshot from Hermione's Instagram. The image is of a fallen tree hanging over a calm creek in bright sunlit green woods. She has captioned it "I could just not take my portkey back, right?" and it has 554 comments. It has been liked by @hebrideanred, @roonilwazlib, and 6,521 others.

[145]
A screenshot from Hermione's Instagram. It is of Charlie lighting a fire on a hillside, hood up on his hoodie. In the background are fog-draped mountains from which some craggy peaks protrude higher in the sky. She has captioned it "HOW IS THIS REAL @hebrideanred" and it has 2,144 comments. It has been liked by @ginandtonic, @parryhotter, and 55,214 others.

[146]
A screenshot from Hermione's Instagram. It is of a waterfall spilling over a rocky cliff face down toward green hilly land below. She has captioned it "this place is magical" and it has 152 comments. It has been liked by @hebrideanred, @zabeans, and 6,542 others.

[147]
A screenshot from Hermione's Instagram. It is a closeup of Charlie, wearing a Henley under a dark outdoor vest. He is looking down and is in 3/4 profile. His hair is back and he has stubble. Hermione has captioned it "Such good company @hebrideanred" and it has 74 comments. It is liked by @livelavlove, @roonilwazlib, and 5,548 others.

[148]
A screenshot from Charlie's Instagram. It is of a dragon flying in the clouds, backlit by a crescent moon. He has captioned it "magical" and it has 2 comments. It has been liked by @bookshanks, @parryhotter, and 5 others.

[149]
A screenshot from Charlie's Instagram. It is of Hermione from behind, looking up into the trees in the woods. She has a plaid flannel on and it is falling from her left shoulder. Her hair is pulled back. He has captioned it "caught sight of one of our biggest dragons through the canopy. she lit up like a Christmas tree [Christmas tree emoji] @bookshanks" and it has 2 comments. It is liked by @ginandtonic, @parryhotter, and 4 others.

[150]
A screenshot from Charlie's Instagram. It is of the back of Hermione's head, her hair in a messy, windblown bun, wearing a water resistant coat and looking out at the scenery from above. He has captioned it "she fits in here @bookshanks" and it has 2 comments. It is liked by @ginandtonic, @roonilwazlib, and 6 others.

[151]
A screenshot from Charlie's Instagram. It is of Hermione, reaching up to deal with her hair, which is down and blowing all around her head. She is wearing a tan coat with a grey sweatshirt underneath and there is a tree in the background. Charlie has captioned it "wind got her [laugh emoji] @bookshanks" and it has 4 comments. It has been liked by @georgieforgie, @roonilwazlib, and 6 others.

[152]
A screenshot from Charlie's Instagram. It is of clouds rolling into wooded mountains. He has captioned it "weather cut our camping short unfortunately @bookshanks" and it has 1 comment. It has been liked by @ginandtonic, @roonilwazlib, and 3 others.

[153]
A screenshot from Charlie's Instagram. It is of two pairs of boots, a pile of books, some chocolate, and a cup of coffee in front of a roaring fireplace. He has captioned it @bookshanks raided my shelves immediately [laughing emoji]" and it has 2 comments. It has been liked by @bookshanks, @ginandtonic, and 2 others.

[154]
A screenshot from Charlie's Instagram. It's a picture of Hermione, curled up in a chair and reading a book. She is clearly wearing comfortable clothing—shorts and a long-sleeved shirt—and has made herself at home in his armchair. He has captioned it "if all house guests were as lovely as @bookshanks I'd invite more people over" and it has 2 comments. It has been liked by @ginandtonic, @parryhotter, and 6 others.

[155]
A screenshot from Charlie's Instagram. It's a picture of the back of Hermione's head. Her messy bun is exceptionally messy, falling apart and tangled. She's wearing a black shirt. He's tagged it "I thought mine got bad..." and it has 3 comments. It is liked by @bookshanks, @ginandtonic, and 3 others.

[156]
Gin
Ginny: Soooooooo
Ginny: How's it going
Hermione: Fine?
Hermione: A storm rolled in so we only camped one night but his cottage is really cozy
Ginny: Cozy eh
Hermione: [annoyed emoji] not like that
Ginny: Why not
Hermione: Because it just isn't?
Ginny: Because he's shot you down or because you haven't tried?
Hermione: Because... because
Ginny: ...
Hermione: I'm scared okay

[157]
Gin
Gin: Of Charlie??
Hermione: No of what happens if I say something and he doesn't see me like that
Hermione: He's not... it's not like anything I've ever... idek how to explain
Hermione: I just feel right
Hermione: It's easy to talk to him, it's so natural just being around him
Ginny: Oh babe you have to say something
Hermione: How am I supposed to do that when every time he looks at me my mind goes blank
Ginny: Oh wow you're totally lost
Ginny: Okay
Ginny: We'll figure this out

[158]
A screenshot from Ginny's Instagram. The image is of Daphne, leaping over a tree with her purse held high. She wears a black dress with trainers. Ginny has captioned it "[laughing emoji] @daphodil my new bestie" and it has 45 comments. It is liked by @heartsease, @zabeans, and 665 others.

[159]
A screenshot from Ron's Instagram. It's of Padma and Parvati from behind, one in a black shirt and jeans, the other in a grey hoodie. They're walking arm in arm. Ron has captioned it "when I drink it gets harder to tell them apart @amdap @parhottie" and it has 30 comments. It is liked by @livelavlove, @parryhotter, and 665 others.

[160]
A screenshot from Lavender's Instagram. It's a picture of Rumples being painfully cute, curled up in bedsheets and looking up at the camera. Lav has captioned it "hey @bookshanks I'm keeping your kitty" and it has 14 comments. It has been liked by @bookshanks, @roonilwazlib, and 52 others.

[161]
A screenshot from Theo's Instagram. It's a close-up of him and Draco, lying in bed. The picture is of Theo's hand curled in Draco's hair, and it is close enough that you see mostly their hair and the fact their eyes are closed and they are snuggling closely. Draco's fingers are visible on Theo's face. Theo has captioned it "I've got you @bonnefoi" and it has 2 comments. It has been liked by @heartsease, @zabeans, and 11 others.

[162]
A screenshot of Hermione's Twitter profile. Her most recent tweets in order of posting:
hjg @biblione: omg how are these 5 days already over
hjg @biblione: i don't want to leave

[163]
A screenshot from Hermione's Instagram. It's a close-up of her feet in cozy winter socks and a cup of hot tea, sitting on a blanket with a book out-of-focus in frame. She has captioned it "gonna miss this @hebrideanred" and it has 45 comments. It has been liked by @hebrideanred, @parryhotter, and 2,514 others.

[164]
A screenshot from Charlie's Instagram. It's of his balcony, covered in blankets and pillows, with string lights and a potted stick-plant of some kind. There's a book left on it on top of a knit blanket. He has captioned it "what did she do to my cottage [laughing emoji] come back anytime, @bookshanks" and it has 1 comment. It is liked by @ginandtonic, @roonilwazlib, and 4 others.

[165]
Lav, Padma, Parvati
Hermione: I'm back! Lav I'll come get Rumples in the evening?
Lav: No she's mine now, we've bonded
Padma: haha
Hermione: [knife emoji]
Parvati: So how'd it gooooo?
Hermione: Fine, I got to see a lot of the reserve and meet a few dragons
Hermione: You only THINK you know how big they are
Parvati: Didn't you ride one
Lav: Right hahaha Hermione did you forget
Hermione: No! His growth was stunted, the poor creature

[166]
Lav, Padma, Parvati
Padma: Ron's been whining all weekend he wants to see the dragons
Hermione: He could just ask his brother
Padma: That's what I said
Parvati: It's what I said too
Lav: I meant it I'm not giving Rumples back, I love her like a child
Hermione: GET YOUR OWN KITTY
Hermione: THAT ONE IS MINE

[167]
Ron, Harry [shamrock emoji]
Harry: Wilhelm Milmann, Bavarian dragonologist... and brother-in-law to Romanian undersecretary for magical creature management
Hermione: OH SHIT
Ron: Also welcome home
Harry: Yeah also that
Hermione: How'd you find out?
Harry: I'm Harry Potter [smile emoji]
Hermione: Oh fuck off
Ron: It went like this
Harry: Shut up Ron you'll tell it wrong
Ron: He went to Kingsley and asked "hey do you know anything about Wilhelm Milmann"

[168]
Ron, Harry [shamrock emoji]
Hermione: I could've done THAT
Harry: Yeah you could have, but did you?
Ron: Hahaha
Ron: How could I possibly have told that wrong
Harry: Idk you might've misspelled Milmann or something
Ron: It is awfully close to milkman
Hermione: Hahahahaha

[169]
Charlie [dragon emoji]
Hermione: I stole your copy of Breville's Promise
Hermione: (Hi)
Charlie: Haha I never would have noticed, I rarely reread
Charlie: You can keep it if you like
Charlie: (Hello)
Hermione: Why don't you reread?
Charlie: I already know what happens and 9 times out of 10 it means my attention drifts if I try going back
Charlie: It's a rare book that gets me so engrossed that it makes me want to retread it
Hermione: I guess I can understand that. I reread my favorites all the time
Charlie: But only your favorites, right?
Hermione: True

[170]
Charlie [dragon emoji]
Charlie: In any case, I hope you enjoy Breville's Promise
Charlie: If you do, you can take the whole series off my hands one book at a time
Hermione: It's a deal
Hermione: It'll make some shelf space for new things!
Charlie: Good thinking
Hermione: Harry figured out why Wilhelm Milmann keeps coming up. He's brother-in-law to the undersecretary in Romania's version of the DRCMC
Charlie: So he could be reaping the benefit of our eventual collapse... fuck
Charlie: Fuck!
Hermione: Yeah that's really awful
Hermione: But knowing helps, we can work with this

[171]
Charlie [dragon emoji]
Charlie: Bavaria's reserve is a fraction of the size of ours, if we collapse they can't even make up for the difference. The dragons will suffer for his greed. Fucking prick
Hermione: I know. I think it's just more reason to consider land in the UK
Hermione: And I know I'm not the pro here but I think we ought to plan with you in mind as the director of whatever reserve we propose
Charlie: I'm going to need time to think about that
Hermione: We're a ways off from making any official proposals, you have some time
Charlie: Yeah, but we don't want to drag our feet either. I couldn't handle it if the reserve fell apart before we had a plan in place
Hermione: So think hard... pros and cons

[172]
Charlie [dragon emoji]
Charlie: Still going to need a minute
Hermione: Okay
Charlie: Fuck
Charlie: Fuck Milmann
Charlie: Fuck Bavaria
Charlie: Fuck the Romanian Ministry
Hermione: I'm sorry
Charlie: Me too
Charlie: I'm going to go out into the reserve and blow off some steam. Enjoy the book
Hermione: Be safe

[173]
A screenshot of Charlie's Instagram. It's a teapot over a campfire. He's captioned it "It's nice when the job description literally includes 'go out into the woods by yourself a lot,' it gives me time to think." It has 2 comments and has been liked by @bookshanks, @ginandtonic, and 5 others.

[174]
A screenshot from Hermione's Instagram. It's a picture of a book open on a deep windowsill, with two lit candles behind it. The window is wet, and it is clearly raining. Hermione has captioned it "gloomy weather to welcome me home but... it's perfect reading weather, and @hebrideanred gave me a good one." It has 2 comments and has been liked by @hebrideanred, @roonilwazlib, and 541 others.

Chapter Text

[175]
Ginster:
Ginny: [eyes emoji] what's this book on Hermione's insta, Char?
Charlie: Breville's Promise
Ginny: You gave it to her?
Charlie: Technically she stole it
Ginny: But you don't mind
Charlie: Not at all
Ginny: That wasn't a question
Ginny: What are you doing?
Charlie: Is it your business?
Ginny: If you make her cry I'll make you cry
Charlie: I don't know what you're on about
Ginny: Char
Charlie: Mind your business

[176]
Ron:
Ron: Question for you
Charlie: Answer for you
Ron: Ha ha
Ron: What's going on with you and Mione?
Charlie: You too huh
Charlie: Gin already tried
Ron: Just saying she's all over your IG and you're loaning her books and stuff, kinda looks like something
Charlie: I'll tell you what I told Gin which is mind your business
Ron: She likes tulips
Ron: Any colour but red
Charlie: ...mind your business
Ron: You're welcome

[177]
Blaise [flaming heart emoji]
Ginny: Hey
Ginny: There's a flat in your building for let and Nev's moving back
Ginny: I just finished taking pics for him, can I come up?
Blaise: Of course you can. Theo and Draco are here though
Ginny: I don't want to interrupt if you're already in the middle of something
Blaise: Which part of "of course you can" was hard for you
Ginny: [middle finger emoji]
Blaise: Lol get up here

[178]
A screenshot from Ginny's Instagram. It's a picture of Draco, smiling and running his fingers through his hair. He's looking off-camera to the left and wearing a leather jacket. Ginny has captioned it "WHAT?? @bonnefoi can smile!! idk if I've ever seen this before in my entire life ahahaha here's proof" and it has 8 comments. It has been liked by heartsease, nottyboy, and 45 others.

[179]
A screenshot from Theo's Instagram. It's a picture of Ginny, looking directly at the camera over one shoulder. The caption reads "Hey @zabeans if you fuck this up we're keeping @ginandtonic, not you. heads up." and it has 3 comments. It has been liked by gargoyle, heartsease, and 9 others.

[180]
Red
Blaise: Thanks for today, Red
Blaise: A lot of people walk on eggshells around Drago when he's having a depressive episode, I think he needs more people like you around him
Ginny: I learned with my brothers if you treat someone like you're mega worried then they just bottle it up so you won't worry so much
Ginny: George stopped talking after the war
Ginny: Perce was fucked up by it, George, Ron, me too... but I don't know. I just learned pretty fast that it helps when people are still willing to joke around and be fun instead of looking sad and tutting about it
Blaise: I can't imagine George not talking
Ginny: IT'S FUCKING WEIRD
Blaise: Hahahahaha

[181]
Red
Blaise: Well in any case I think you were a breath of fresh air for the two of them
Ginny: I'm glad
Ginny: I really like all the people you've brought into my life
Ginny: I think they'd like my friends, too
Blaise: What are you thinking?
Ginny: Harry and Hermione to start? If they can get along with everyone the rest will be easy
Blaise: Not your brother?
Ginny: I think if Harry and Hermione meet everyone first he's more likely to accept an invite
Blaise: Fair enough

[182]
Hermione
Charlie: Someone's built a little shack just outside the northeast boundary of the reserve
Charlie: It was empty when I found it so I looked around... it's not poachers
Charlie: (Hello)
Hermione: What do you think it is?
Hermione: (Hi)
Charlie: Hard to say, I put a ward on it. I'll know next time someone's there.
Hermione: Be careful
Charlie: Of course
Hermione: Do you think it's related to this political stuff?
Charlie: I don't know what I think about it yet... but it wasn't there last time I was out that way and I have a feeling about it. I trust my gut.

[183]
Hermione
Hermione: This is starting to feel more dangerous than I expected
Hermione: Please be on guard
Charlie: Worried about me? I told you not to do that
Hermione: And I told you I'd do it anyway
Charlie: Yeah, you did
Charlie: I appreciate it
Charlie: Even if you don't need to spend so much mental energy on me, I still appreciate it
Hermione: I think about you all the time, Charlie

[184]
A screenshot of Hermione's Twitter. The most recent tweet reads: "oh my god okay okay calm hermione stay calm you can't unsend a text"

[185]
Charlie [dragon emoji]
Hermione: Charlie?
Charlie: Trying to think of something appropriately suave, gimme a second
Charlie: You caught me off guard
Hermione: Is that good or bad?
Charlie: A beautiful woman just told me she thinks about me all the time, how would that be bad
Hermione: Charlie please I need to know if I should obliviate myself
Charlie: Sounds dangerous, I wouldn't recommend it
Hermione: CHARLIE [AGONIZED EMOJI]
Charlie: I think about you too
Charlie: All the time
Charlie: Been kicking myself for not saying something while you were here

[186]
Charlie [dragon emoji]
Charlie: I almost did when you were making an attempt at burning my kitchen down
Hermione: It was not my GOAL
Charlie: Seemed like it from where I was standing
Charlie: I was standing there thinking "well if I die in a conflagration at least I've got a good view"
Hermione: omg
Charlie: I hope I get to see those tiny shorts again sometime soon
Hermione: omg am I dreaming
Charlie: Well seeing as I can't apparate clear across the continent, flirting relentlessly over text is all I can give you for the moment
Hermione: You could call?

[187]
A screenshot from Hermione's Instagram. It's a picture of a cup of coffee on a saucer with a napkin. Hermione's hand is barely visible on the left margin, a knit sleeve covering her to the knuckle of her thumb. She has captioned it "stayed up way too late last night, so coffee is a must [coffee cup emoji]" and it has 5 comments. It has been liked by hebrideanred, parryhotter, and 68 others.

[188]
A screenshot from Charlie's Instagram. It's a picture of the sun over foggy mountainous forest landscape. The entire image is a lot of yellows and oranges. He has captioned it "half awake but look at the view [sun emoji]" and it has 1 comment. It has been liked by ginandtonic, roonilwazlib, and 5 others.

[189]
Ron, Harry [shamrock emoji]
Ron: Mione
Ron: There's a present for you at my desk
Hermione: You're going to make me come to the DMLE to get it?
Harry: Absolutely we are
Harry: We haven't seen you since you got back
Ron: So you're going to come to lunch with us
Harry: And THEN you can have the folder
Ron: Shut up Harry
Hermione: Folder?
Hermione: IS IT THE LAND?
Ron: Lunch first!

[190]
Hermione
Charlie: Coffee help?
Charlie: (Hello)
Hermione: Only some
Hermione: (Hi)
Hermione: Ron and Harry have a folder for me that I suspect is information about those land plots but they're holding it hostage
Charlie: In exchange for...?
Hermione: Lunch
Charlie: That's not so bad
Hermione: It is when the two of them are definitely going to ask about you haha
Charlie: We did nothing while you were here, just tell them the truth haha
Hermione: Yes but then you kept me up late last night flirting your arse off

[191]
Hermione
Charlie: You liked it
Charlie: But I take your point
Hermione: I just know I'm going to turn red and then have nothing to say
Charlie: Say "mind your business"
Hermione: That has never once worked on Harry Potter
Hermione: In fact I think he sees it as an invitation to extremely NOT mind his business
Charlie: Hahaha
Charlie: Okay well we agreed to keep the "us" quiet until we've sorted out the reserve situation, but I won't tell you to lie to your best friend
Charlie: Make a judgment call
Hermione: I'll keep you all to myself for now
Charlie: I like the sound of that

[192]
Hermione
Hermione: You don't feel like we're lying?
Charlie: No, I feel like we're figuring something new out for ourselves before we let the rest of the world know, that's all
Charlie: Just ignore your itchy Instagram finger
Hermione: Ha ha

[193]
H [cat emoji], Har
Ginny: Oi you two
Harry: Oi wot
Hermione: What's up
Ginny: I was thinking it's time my friends meet Blaise's friends
Harry: Technically we have already done that
Hermione: Years ago
Hermione: It went well as I recall
Harry: Swimmingly
Ginny: I can't even with you two
Ginny: Be serious for a second please
Harry: Okay okay
Ginny: This means a lot to me

[194]
H [cat emoji], Har
Ginny: I need you two to try okay?
Hermione: Of course, Gin
Harry: Yes okay
Ginny: I especially need you (Harry) to contain yourself when it comes to Draco
Ginny: He's really messed up, they are all very protective of him and if you come in there expecting the Draco Malfoy of our Hogwarts years that'll be the end of it
Harry: Understood
Hermione: Anything else we should know?
Ginny: I'm purposely not inviting Ron this first time
Ginny: I think he'll be easier to convince once the two of you have been

[195]
H [cat emoji], Har
Harry: OK, won't mention it
Hermione: Same
Hermione: When are you thinking?
Ginny: Friday night?
Harry: Works for me
Hermione: Same
Ginny: Great
Ginny: Thank you [double heart emoji]

[196]
A screenshot from Pansy's Instagram. It's a picture of Harry smiling broadly. He has a beard. She has captioned it "what a dork hahaha [laugh emoji]" and it has 25 comments. It has been liked by bookshanks, ginandtonic, and 684 others.

[197]
A screenshot from Draco's Instagram. It's a picture of Hermione, leaning her face on her arm. She's wearing a white sweater and small hoop earrings. Draco has captioned it "everyone is going to be a pain in my arse for saying so but hermione granger is actually very fun to talk to" and it has 4 comments. It has been liked by parryhotter, zabeans, and 25 others.

[198]
A screenshot from Harry's Instagram. It's a picture of Pansy, close up, wearing minimal makeup and a white shirt. Harry has captioned it with just the eyes emoji. It has 574 comments and has been liked by ginandtonic, parhottie, and 55,842 others.

[199]
A screenshot from Ginny's Instagram. It's a picture of two women in silhouette against dusky, cloudy sky. She has captioned it "@daphodil and @heartsease on the roof" and it has 74 comments. It has been liked by parryhotter, zabeans, and 452 others.

[200]
Ron, Harry [shamrock emoji]
Hermione: Okay
Hermione: So
Hermione: Ron
Ron: Yeeessss???
Hermione: Next Saturday
Hermione: We're all going to hang out
Ron: K just tell me what time
Hermione: I wasn't done
Hermione: We're going to hang out with Blaise's friends
Ron: ...why
Hermione: Because it's important to Ginny
Harry: The two of us did yesterday
Hermione: It went really well

[201]
Ron, Harry [shamrock emoji]
Harry: It actually did
Ron: Okay... when you say "Blaise's friends" who do you mean
Hermione: Draco, Theo, Pansy, Greg, Daphne
Ron: Uh
Harry: I promise you it actually was a good time

[202]
Ron, Harry [shamrock emoji]
Harry: Like a good-good time, not just saying that
Harry: Mione spent like an hour talking to Malfoy
Ron: What really?
Hermione: I told him what I was reading, he's already read it, we struck up a conversation
Harry: Seriously Ron it means a lot to Gin
Ron: Okay I get it
Ron: I can be an adult
Harry: Can you though
Ron: Shove off
Hermione: Hahahaha

[203]
Char, Percy, George, Bill, Ronnie
George: Mum wants everyone home soon. Swears up and down it's been too long and we neglect her.
Percy: What? I was literally there yesterday
Ron: You know she means Char
Charlie: I was there like a month ago!
Bill: Doesn't matter
Charlie: I know it doesn't
Ginny: We can make it a big thing
Ginny: Invite all our friends
George: Throw a proper rager
Percy: She'll never complain again
Bill: Hahaha yes she will

[204]
Char, Percy, George, Bill, Ronnie
Charlie: Let me see if I can get a portkey for next weekend then
George: Just like that? No arguing?
Percy: Intriguing...
Charlie: Or I could stay here and enjoy the weather
Ron: Get the bloody portkey, Char
Ginny: I'll see who can make Saturday night
Ginny: Georgie darling
George: Don't call me that
Ginny: You love it when mom does
George: If by "love it" you mean "begrudgingly put up with it" then sure

[205]
Char, Percy, George, Bill, Ronnie
Percy: Georgie darling
Ron: Georgie darling
Bill: Georgie darling
George: Fuck off, the lot of you
Ginny: Just tell her we're invading on Saturday
Ginny: She'll need reinforcements
Ginny: In the shape of cakes
Ron: Treacle tarts!!
Charlie: lemon bars or I am not coming
Ginny: hahahaha

[206]
Charlie [dragon emoji]
Charlie: I'll be in town next weekend [flower bouquet emoji]
Charlie: (Hello)
Hermione: Really???
Hermione: (Hi!)
Charlie: Mum's guilt tripping us for a family gathering
Charlie: Gin said she'll invite some friends so maybe you and I can sneak away
Hermione: Sneak to where?
Charlie: It's the burrow, we have options
Hermione: Can't wait
Hermione: How am I supposed to keep us quiet when I know I'm going to smile like an idiot every time I look at you?
Charlie: You'll find a way
Hermione: I'm going to turn red
Charlie: Like your arse is on fire

[207]
Charlie [dragon emoji]
Hermione: Hahaha you aren't helping
Charlie: Keep cool in front of everyone and I'll come up with a proper reward
Hermione: Like?
Charlie: Mmm no I think that's going to remain a surprise

[208]
Gin
Ginny: Don't make plans Saturday
Ginny: You're coming to the Burrow
Hermione: I am?
Ginny: Yep. Mum wants a thing so we're giving her a THING
Hermione: What does that mean exactly?
Ginny: It meeeeeaaaaans your favorite of my brothers is going to come and everything
Hermione: George?
Ginny: You know what I mean
Hermione: Ron then
Ginny: Charlie
Ginny: You know I mean Charlie
Hermione: Oh okay! That's useful actually, I have some land maps for him to look at

[209]
Gin
Ginny: You're ridiculous
Ginny: Absolutely ridiculous
Hermione: What? It's important work
Ginny: You are not excited to see Charlie for WORK REASONS
Hermione: Yes I am some of these plots are very large, we could definitely use them for a reserve
Hermione: There's one in the highlands that seems perfect on paper
Ginny: omg

[210]
Ron, Harry [shamrock emoji]
Ron: Uhhhh Milmann is here
Ron: In the ministry
Hermione: WHAT WHERE
Ron: Just saw him headed toward the lifts
Harry: Oh what a coincidence I'm at the lifts
Harry: Hahaha he's got a stupid hat
Hermione: Find out why he's here
Hermione: What's he doing here

[211]
Hermione
Hermione: Milmann's here
Charlie: What? Why?
Hermione: I don't know yet. Harry caught him at the lifts and is trying to find out
Charlie: I wonder what he could want from the ministry
Hermione: You haven't told anyone what you're doing, have you?
Charlie: Only Gio. You?
Hermione: Harry, Ron, Gin, Lav
Hermione: But none of them would have said anything to anyone
Hermione: Well aside from Harry asking Kingsley point-blank if he knows Milmann
Charlie: Hm
Charlie: Well lets not panic yet
Charlie: Could be anything

[212]
A screenshot from Hermione's Twitter. It reads "don't panic don't panic don't panic"

[213]
Gin, Lav, Padma, Parvati
Padma: We need a ladies night!! It's been too long
Ginny: Agreed
Hermione: I'm in
Lavender: Me too
Padma: So is Parvati I'm accepting for her
Padma: Twin privilege
Parvati: I was gonna say yes anyway
Lavender: Of course you were
Ginny: Can I invite Pansy and Daphne?
Hermione: Yes please!
Padma: Sounds good

[214]
Gin, Lav, Padma, Parvati
Parvati: Ugh I'm going to have to put on my face
Lavender: You never HAVE to
Parvati: Pansy Parkinson is coming yes I do
Padma: Ignore her she has a weird inferiority complex about Pansy
Lavender: Why
Parvati: BECAUSE SHE'S BEAUTIFUL
Padma: SO ARE YOU
Parvati: You have to say that, we have the same face
Hermione: You're both gorgeous
Hermione: I think Harry has a little crush on her actually

[215]
Gin, Lav, Padma, Parvati
Ginny: me too
Ginny: And I think she has one back
Padma: REALLY?
Lavender: Hahahahaha omg this just got fun
Parvati: Wait is Luna back yet
Parvati: How long does an American muggle uni take anyway
Hermione: 4 years
Hermione: Well no she's getting the doctorate
Hermione: That could be a decade
Lavender: She could visit
Padma: I'm sure she will eventually
Parvati: Someone tell her Nev's moving back

[216]
Gin, Lav, Padma, Parvati
Ginny: I don't think that has the same draw it used to have
Parvati: Bugger
Hermione: Do we have a date yet for Nev?
Ginny: 1st of next month
Ginny: He's staying at Dean's til he can find a place
Hermione: Boo all the way in Cardiff???
Padma: At least it's on the same continent
Lavender: Who told our friends they could go abroad anyway
Ginny: Beats me

[217]
Ron, Harry [shamrock emoji]
Harry: Milmann is so talkative
Harry: One lift ride up to the DRCMC (all yours, Mione!) and I know his kids names and his career goals and get this, he wants the UK ministry to help fund a growth initiative at the Bavarian reserve
Hermione: Like hell
Ron: Hahaha get out the jars
Hermione: I'll transfigure him into a dung beetle
Harry: Hahahahaa
Harry: Well you're going to have to make an official case for why we shouldn't
Hermione: I'll start with economics
Hermione: They'll never accept paying tariffs when they could avoid them altogether
Ron: Go get 'em

[218]
Hermione
Hermione: Help me brainstorm
Hermione: I need concrete pros to present as "reasons a reserve should come to the UK and we shouldn't just fund Germany's expansion"
Hermione: (Hi)
Charlie: EXPANSION?
Charlie: Is that what they're after?? Gut us and take it all?
Charlie: (Hello)
Hermione: Seems to be the case
Hermione: Harry talked to the man for one lift ride and got that much out of him. He wants UK Ministry assistance in funding the thing
Charlie: Well fuck that
Hermione: That's essentially what I said
Hermione: So I need a list of things that would be a benefit of a domestic reserve

[219]
Hermione
Hermione: My thought is the biggest one is financial: the elimination of tariffs and import costs on dragon-related potions ingredients alone would be a massive boon to our consumables market
Hermione: It would also add the three highly-volatile items you can't ship to the market altogether. I'm sure potions masters all over the British Isles would love to suddenly have a source of ignition glands
Charlie: I wish I could watch you say all this in person
Hermione: Personal pros list: if the reserve is here, so are you
Charlie: That is also on my list, what a coincidence
Hermione: Dragons need a consistent source of food, so local farmers will see a significant increase in business
Charlie: And all those tariffs and import costs become their own revenue stream

[220]
Hermione
Hermione: Romania's really willing to give all this up to help someone's brother-in-law?
Charlie: It certainly isn't smart
Hermione: It's enough to make me wonder if there are people out of the loop that will cause a major problem when it all comes to light
Charlie: Frankly that is not our problem
Charlie: I just want these dragons in a stable environment
Charlie: Ideally free of politics altogether, but that would require so much money
Hermione: Know any ludicrously wealthy dragon enthusiasts?
Charlie: Unfortunately no

[221]
Daphne, Pansy
Ginny: Hello!
Ginny: My friends and I are having a girls night and you two are invited
Pansy: When you say your friends, who are you including?
Daphne: I'm in unless your friends include Lisa Turpin
Ginny: Okay I'm going to want that story
Ginny: But no I don't know Lisa Turpin
Ginny: Hermione, Lavender, and the Patil twins
Ginny: In the future it'd also include Luna but she's in the states right now

[222]
Daphne, Pansy
Daphne: I'm in
Pansy: Same
Pansy: Should we bring anything?
Daphne: What kind of shoes will I need?
Ginny: Haha ok you and Parvati are going to get along so well

[223]
A screenshot from Hermione's Instagram. It's a picture of Ginny and Daphne on a lamplit nighttime street. Both are wearing jackets. Ginny is drinking directly from a wine bottle and Daphne is laughing into her hair. Hermione has captioned it "@ginandtonic and @daphodil are so drunk rn" and it has 54 comments. It has been liked by hebrideanred, zabeans, and 6,542 others.

[224]
A screenshot from Padma's Instagram. It's of Parvati, leaning back against a park bench in a black low V-neck and a chain necklace, a glass of white wine in her hand. She is facing the sky so you can only see the underside of her throat and chin. Padma has captioned it "my sister is so hot... which means I am too @parhottie" and it has 112 comments. It is liked by ginandtonic, nevlongs, and 654 others.

[225]
A screenshot from Pansy's Instagram. It's a picture of Daphne dancing on a tabletop, surrounded by people watching her from the ground. It is captioned "@daphodil is trashed [3 martini glass emojis]" and it has 140 comments. It has been liked by bonnefoi, zabeans, and 6,542 others.

[226]
A screenshot from Lavender's Instagram. It's a picture of six martini glasses being clinked together in toast. It has been captioned "to new friendships @heartsease @daphodil" and has 2 comments. It is liked by nevlongs, zabeans, and 25 others.

[227]
Ginster
Charlie: How's your head, drunky?
Ginny: Shhhhh
Ginny: How'd you even know
Charlie: Hermione's instagram
Charlie: Straight from the bottle! You're a champ
Ginny: Omg
Ginny: Okay to be fair that is a good pic of me
Charlie: You look like you had fun
Ginny: So much fun
Ginny: You'll meet Daph and Pansy on Saturday, I convinced them to join in
Ginny: They're Blaise's friends
Ginny: Well they were, now they're mine too
Charlie: If you like them I'm sure they're good people

[228]
Ron
Hermione: Padma ok this morning?
Ron: Haha still sleeping
Ron: What about you?
Hermione: Right as rain
Ron: Thunderstorm or English drizzle?
Hermione: ...thunderstorm
Ron: Hahahahahaha
Ron: Seems like you all had a good time
Hermione: Daphne is a riot
Hermione: It was a lot of fun
Ron: Any drunken confessions?
Hermione: 1) It is against the friend code to divulge those to those not present
Hermione: And 2) no
Ron: But 3) I'm your best friend

[229]
Ron
Hermione: When you pull that card Harry is my best friend
Ron: Oi
Hermione: 4) Pansy did ask if Harry has a girlfriend and Ginny took extreme pleasure in saying "not in at least three years"
Ron: Hahaaahahahaaaa Harry's gonna hate that
Hermione: His dry spell is self imposed
Ron: Eh only kinda
Hermione: Yeah I know
Hermione: Well at least we know Pansy won't be after getting anything out of him

[230]
Ron
Ron: Skeeter might bug them
Hermione: I see what you did there
Ron: [beetle emoji]
Hermione: [jar emoji]

[231]
Draco, Pansy, Red, Theo, Greg
Greg: On a scale of 1-10 how wrecked is Daph this morning
Daph: 32
Daph: Send shober-ups and pain potions please
Pansy: Send them to me too please
Blaise: You ladies ought to keep them in stock
Blaise: Also please tell me Gin's with one of you
Ginny: I'm at Lav's
Draco: Theo and I will bring some, Daph
Pansy: Oi
Draco: We'll come to you after

[232]
Draco, Pansy, Red, Theo, Greg
Theo: There were no pics of you dancing on a table
Theo: We're assuming that means you had less
Daph: Unless she couldn't even get on the table
Ginny: Hahaha
Ginny: I'll never tell
Blaise: Gin, get over here
Ginny: For a sober-up and your healing touch?
Greg: Merlin's balls take it off the gc
Blaise: You know it
Theo: Sounds like Blaise's balls, actually
Greg: I don't need this

Chapter Text

[233]
A screenshot from Blaise's Instagram. It's a close-up of Ginny, makeup-less aside from her lashes, her hair blown out around her face. Blaise has captioned it "my beautiful @ginandtonic" and it's liked by bookshanks, daphodil, and 457 others. It has 5 comments.

[234]
A screenshot from Neville's Instagram. It's a photo of a stack of 3 old-fashioned suitcases. He's captioned it "all packed up..." and it's liked by livelavlove, roonilwazlib, and 451 others. It has 74 comments.

[235]
A screenshot from Hermione's Instagram. It's a picture of jagged stones and green slopes, with a loch in the background. It's foggy. She has captioned it "quick jaunt to the highlands with @parryhotter to see about some land" and it is liked by hebrideanred, roonilwazlib, and 5,524 others. It has 75 comments.

[236]
A screenshot from Lavender's Instagram. It's of a black kitten with blue eyes on white bedding. She has captioned it with "say hello to lucky" and it is liked by bookshanks, parhottie, and 584 others. It has 25 comments.

[237]
Hermione
Charlie: How was Scotland?
Charlie: (Hello, beautiful)
Hermione: Cold and wet, haha
Hermione: (Hi, handsome)
Charlie: And?
Hermione: I think it could work
Hermione: The old MacNair and Yaxley lands abut one another, if we could get BOTH it amounts to roughly 1/5th more land than the Romanian reserve currently covers
Charlie: Good Godric
Charlie: Okay how do we afford that and get our hands on it
Hermione: Well
Hermione: Option 1 is a mysterious benefactor obsessed with dragons and in possession of laughably large sums of money

[238]
Hermione
Hermione: Option 2 is getting the Ministry on board with the plan
Hermione: Option 3 is lawlessness and crime
Charlie: I like that you included it on the options list
Charlie: My little wild card
Charlie: Is option 1 even possible?
Hermione: So at first I thought no
Hermione: But the friend group has just recently expanded by about six and at least three of them are generationally wealthy mega-millionaires
Hermione: So I could at least have some conversations
Charlie: Tread carefully, beautiful
Charlie: People don't usually take kindly to new friends immediately wanting to talk about their money
Hermione: I know

[239]
Hermione
Hermione: I'll be careful
Charlie: I like how passionate you are
Charlie: Not many would dive in headfirst the way you do
Hermione: You would
Hermione: You're bold
Charlie: Just wait til Saturday
Charlie: I'll show you bold
Hermione: Maybe I'll show you passionate
Charlie: Merlin, woman
Hermione: Can't handle me?
Charlie: Oh I'll handle you
Hermione: Looking forward to it

[240]
A screenshot from Hermione's private twitter account. It's a gif of Rue McClanahan spraying herself with a water bottle as Blanche Devereaux. Parvati has commented beneath it with "???"

[241]
Charlie [dragon emoji]
Charlie: Two more days!
Hermione: (Hello)
Charlie: (That's my line)
Hermione: (Hi then)
Charlie: (Hello)
Hermione: Are you nervous? I'm nervous
Charlie: You spent five days alone with me
Hermione: Yeah but I didn't know you wanted to snog me then
Hermione: I thought I was languishing in unrequited feelings
Charlie: Languishing? In my presence?
Charlie: You were not
Hermione: I absolutely was
Hermione: Pure agony every time you looked at me

[242]
Charlie [dragon emoji]
Hermione: My brain would stop working and my heart would beat in triple time and I swore I was so awkward you'd never want to see me again
Charlie: Hahahahahahaha
Charlie: You were fucking adorable
Charlie: You're gorgeous when you blush and you play with your hair and bite your lip, I'm still annoyed with myself for doubting it was attraction
Charlie: I swore I was seeing things
Hermione: I thought you were just being a welcoming friendly Weasley
Hermione: [frown emoji] we could've snogged already
Charlie: I promise you that's the first thing I am going to rectify
Charlie: As soon as I get you alone
Hermione: Promise?
Charlie: Promise

[243]
Char, Percy, George, Bill, Ronnie
George: Okay mum wants a head count
Bill: 3 from our house
Ronnie: 2 here
Percy: 2 here
George: OOO PERCE
Percy: You've met Penny
Char: I haven't!
George: MUM hasn't
Bill: Hahaha
Ginny: 2 here
Ginny: AND
George: You invited half the universe

[244]
Char, Percy, George, Bill, Ronnie
Ginny: Give me a moment!
Ginny: Harry, Hermione, Parvati, Lavender, Daphne, Pansy, Draco, Theo, Greg, Neville
Ronnie: NEVILLE???
Ginny: Shhh don't tell anyone he's a surprise!!!
Ronnie: Uh whoops
Ginny: OMG RON
Ronnie: It's just Padma she won't tell anyone
Ginny: Omfg
George: Merlin this is like 20 people
George: Mum's going to lose her mind
Ronnie: You say that like she didn't lose it the moment you and Fred arrived

[245]
Char, Percy, George, Bill, Ronnie
George: You mean me and George
Percy: Oh here we go
Ronnie: Ugh sorry I forgot you can't say Fred anymore
George: Oh, George
George: Rest his ruddy soul
Char: You're ridiculous
Bill: Is that really news
Ginny: My poor phone

[246]
Nev [sprout emoji]
Ginny: Did you look at all the pics? Is it what you're looking for?
Neville: I think yeah... can't tell the size of the balcony though
Ginny: Roughly a bathtub
Ginny: Bog standard clawfoot type
Neville: Probably enough if the door opens wide enough to let me pack it full. Does it open in or out?
Ginny: Pretty sure in
Ginny: I'll ask Blaise which way his goes
Neville: K
Neville: Honestly I'm probably not going to find better
Ginny: His swings in
Ginny: He loves the landlord
Neville: That's a good sign
Neville: I think I've decided

[247]
Nev [sprout emoji]
Ginny: Need me to do anything for you?
Neville: Nah I think I'm good
Neville: Still want me to crash your mum's thing?
Ginny: You have to
Ginny: Ron knows now haha
Neville: So the twins know then
Ginny: Probably Lav, too
Ginny: If not Hermione and Harry as well
Neville: Ron. Tsk.
Ginny: Right?
Neville: Bat bogey him for me
Ginny: Hahaha [2 bat emojis]

[248]
A screenshot from Parvati's Instagram. It's a picture of Neville sitting at an outside table and smiling at the camera. She has captioned it "OMG @nevlongs JUST LIKE CASUALLY SAUNTERED PAST ME IN DIAGON LIKE IT HASN'T BEEN LITERAL YEARS!!?????? [2 sobbing emojis]" and it has been liked by bookshanks, roonilwazlib, and 16 others. It has 7 comments.

[249]
A screenshot from Hermione's Instagram. It's a close-up of Neville. She's captioned it "HE'S HOOOOOOME NEVER LEAVE AGAIN" and it has been liked by amdap, parryhotter, and 167 others. It has 42 comments.

[250]
A screenshot from Ron's Instagram. It's a photo of George and Neville holding beers and grinning side by side. He's captioned it "@nevlongs and @georgieforgie and the fourth round of drinks [2 beer emojis]" and it has been liked by bookshanks, parryhotter, and 65 others. It has 17 comments.

[251]
A screenshot from Harry's Instagram. It's Neville, standing and leaning with his arms up. A feather tattoo is visible inside his arm. Harry has captioned it "one of my oldest mates @nevlongs glad you're home" and it is liked by bookshanks, livelavlove, and 6,842 others. It has 214 comments.

[252]
Malfoy
Draco: Finish that book yet, Granger?
Hermione: Not yet. Another hour or so, whenever I get the chance
Draco: Think you'll continue the series?
Hermione: Unless something catastrophic happens in the last pages, yes
Hermione: Say nothing
Draco: I wouldn't dare
Draco: Can I ask you a question about the Weasleys?
Hermione: You can
Draco: Are they generally more like Ginny or like Ron?
Draco: In terms of attitudes about people like me
Hermione: Well first, even Ron is willing to give everyone a second chance, even if he's going to be uncomfortable about it until someone has proven things are different

[253]
Malfoy
Hermione: But second, they are generally kindhearted and open-minded, and I think you will find sincerity goes a long way
Hermione: Be yourself the way you have been with me. You'll be fine.
Draco: Thanks
Hermione: You're welcome

[254]
Nev [sprout emoji]
Ginny: Well so much for the big surprise
Neville: I figured once Parvati caught me out it was pointless
Ginny: Yeah how quickly did she insta you
Neville: Roughly ten seconds
Ginny: Hahaha slow for Parv
Neville: It's crazy how everyone is different but still the same
Neville: Ron and Pads? How long has that been a thing?
Ginny: Ummmm I think half a yearish
Ginny: I'm not sure exactly when it started
Neville: They seem happy
Ginny: Yeah it's a surprisingly good matchup

[255]
Nev [sprout emoji]
Ginny: She's got all the things he liked about Hermione but without the bits that made him feel inadequate
Neville: She's a little intense
Ginny: Needs someone more adept at handling that sort of fire [fire emoji]
Ginny: Like a mysterious tattooed man she keeps vaguetweeting about?
Neville: Do you know who??
Ginny: YES
Neville: Are you going to tell me?
Ginny: I think I would like you to make a guess at the Burrow haha
Neville: So he'll be at the Burrow...
Ginny: Yes
Neville: Intriguing
Neville: I'm game

[256]
Blaise [fire heart emoji]
Blaise: I had an idea
Blaise: A brilliant, beautiful idea
Blaise: Perhaps the greatest idea any one man has ever had
Ginny: Okay now I KNOW it's over hyped
Blaise: Have you no faith in me
Ginny: Lets hear this mindblower then
Blaise: Move in with me
Ginny: ...
Ginny: Okay I will admit my mind is blown
Blaise: Told you it was a great idea
Ginny: It does have merit
Blaise: Well?
Ginny: Yeah okay
Ginny: When mine's up

[257]
Blaise [fire heart emoji]
Blaise: That's like a month from now right?
Ginny: Something like that
Blaise: Well start packing your shit then
Ginny: I have time
Blaise: Should we get a plant
Blaise: Or a pet
Ginny: Blaise...
Blaise: I'm feeling domestic
Ginny: Hahaha
Blaise: Gotta spruce the place up
Blaise: A woman's going to live here now

[258]
Blaise [fire heart emoji]
Ginny: Omg you're neater than I am
Ginny: I'm about to test your patience and the bounds of your love for me
Blaise: You're just going to expand them
Blaise: These bounds are infinite
Ginny: You're insufferable
Blaise: You love it
Ginny: I really do

[259]
Draco, Pansy, Red, Theo, Greg
Theo: Hey Ginny should we bring anything tonight?
Daph: I was going to bring a bottle of wine
Pansy: Yeah me too
Greg: We can't ALL do that, Mrs. Weasley will think we're trying to get everyone drunk
Draco: I can have Nipsy make macarons
Ginny: That is both exceedingly Stereotypical Pureblood of you and also absolutely thrilling, please do
Ginny: But yes maybe don't ALL bring alcohol
Daph: Why don't we do two bottles of wine, the macarons, and some kind of cheese tray. Greg?

[260]
Draco, Pansy, Red, Theo, Greg
Greg: Yeah I can handle cheese
Ginny: Mum's going to love the lot of you
Blaise: You'd have to threaten one of her children with bodily harm to sway her
Theo: Er, you DO remember how we got on with Weasleys in school?
Blaise: I'm fucking her youngest, I think you know I meant recently
Pansy: BLAISE
Ginny: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[261]
Hermione
Charlie: Just thought of something
Charlie: (Hello)
Hermione: Which is?
Hermione: (Hi)
Charlie: We can't disappear at the same time
Hermione: Very true
Hermione: We'll be found out immediately
Charlie: We'll have to sneak away separately
Charlie: You first, I think
Hermione: Why me first?
Charlie: Because if you disappear on your own and I am still very much in the middle of things, it could be dismissed as all sorts of Hermione-ish reasons to disappear
Charlie: If you disappear and I'm already gone, they're all going to assume we vanished together

[262]
Hermione
Charlie: Gin and Ron have both already gotten nosy
Hermione: Okay so what do you suggest?
Hermione: Do I vanish into the garden or upstairs?
Charlie: Hm
Charlie: Garden's better. More places to wind up on the property
Hermione: And where shall I await my secret rendezvous
Charlie: Orchard
Charlie: Further from the Burrow
Hermione: I can't wait
Charlie: Me either

[263]
Gin, Lav, Padma, Parvati
Parvati: Merlin Hermione he's gorgeous, if you don't want him...
Lav: Good Godric what do they feed him in Romania
Padma: Shhhh I can hear the two of you over there
Ginny: Omg you all cannot be on your phones all night or my mum will start asking wtf they are
Ginny: If this ends with mum getting a phone I am avada-ing the whole lot of you
Lavender: Avada-ing your mum would be more efficient
Padma: Her mum killed Bellatrix Lestrange I dunno if that's wise
Hermione: You are all ridiculous

[264]
Draco, Pansy, Red, Theo, Greg
Ginny: OMG AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA DRACO
Ginny: YOU'RE SO RED
Theo: AHAHAHAHA I DIDN'T EXPECT AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Daph: What happened?? I missed it??
Pansy: [2 laugh emojis] MOLLY WEASLEY JUST PINCHED HIS CHEEKS AND CALLED HIM ADORABLE
Greg: Fuck hahaha I wish I'd seen that

[265]
Gin, Lav, Padma, Parvati
Ginny: Hey has anyone seen Hermione?
Padma: She was just with George in the kitchen a minute ago
Ginny: Weird I can't find her anywhere
Ginny: Char was asking if she'd mentioned the reserve thing lately and I thought she was right there
Lavender: I think she might be in the loo

[266]
Char, Percy, George, Bill, Ronnie
Bill: Hey SOS any of you with half a brain, there's a malfunctioning broom making a mess of the shed and I could use some help
Percy: Coming
Ronnie: Same
George: I promise it wasn't me

Chapter Text

Charlie watched from a safe distance as his brothers crowded the shed and the wayward broom ricocheted off the door frame and got outside. Ron shrieked and leapt sideways, stumbling and falling arse-first into his mother's shrubbery. Limbs sticking out as he struggled to extricate himself, his loud string of swearing forced Charlie to bite his fist to keep from laughing aloud.

"Oi! Someone help me out of here!"

"Little busy!" George replied, mirth coloring his voice.

Bill took Ron's hand and yanked, helping him to his feet. "Which way'd it go?"

"Toward the—watch out!"

The three of them dodged as the broom made a wild turn, suddenly breezing back through them with an audible swoosh.

Indulging in a self-satisfied chuckle, Charlie grinned to himself. He'd added just a touch of possessive magic to the broom, and it had once belonged to George. It would continue to do elliptical paths around the yard with George as its focal point until one of them caught it and removed his enchantment.

As the broom made another loop and swooped erratically toward its target, he turned and made his way through the dark orchard, lit only by the light of the waxing moon.

Hermione sat at the foot of the largest tree. He could see the silhouette of her shoulder and hair as he approached, and as he stepped on a fallen branch she peeked around the trunk and beamed at him.

He couldn't help but return it, knowing he probably looked goofy, despite wanting to seem suave and debonair.

Standing up, she met him in the middle.

He took her hands in his as he came within reach. "Hello."

"Hi," she replied. She was beautiful in the moonlight, looking up at him with a cheery twinkle in her eyes. After a long moment in which he drank in her beautiful features, he dropped her hands to cup her face and pull her close.

Her lips were warm and soft, and she melted against his chest as he kissed her deeply. He rumbled warmly in his throat as she met his tongue with hers, and when she slid her palms up his shoulders and wrapped her arms around his neck, he teased her with a light bite of her bottom lip. Before long, he had her pushed back against the tree in the most intense make-out session of his life. If not for the sudden rush of a broom slamming through the apple trees nearby, he might have taken her right there in the cool night air.

"We shouldn't be gone too long," Hermione gasped, though she smiled up at him with her tongue between her teeth. Her lips were swollen and pink, and all he wanted was to claim them again.

He groaned. She was right.

"This isn't enough," he said, leaning in for another kiss. The way she whimpered in the back of her throat as she acquiesced and parted her lips for him nearly did him in. Heart hammering in his chest, he took his time, relishing the feel of her against him. This was joy. This was happiness.

He couldn't get enough. He could do this forever.

Reluctantly, she pulled away. "Come to mine tonight. After everything."

Chapter Text

[267]
Gin
Ginny: Hermione I stg where did you go???
Hermione: Sorry sorry I just had a call, I stepped outside to take it
Ginny: You missed a big to-do with the broom shed
Ginny: George nearly lost his other ear to a wayward cleansweep
Hermione: Hahahahahaha oh no

[268]
Char, Percy, George, Bill, Ronnie
Charlie: Oi Bill if you're done out there, Victoire's got a stinky nappy
Bill: You could change it
Char: I am the Fun Uncle, I don't change nappies
Ronnie: Don't you root around in dragon dong regularly
George: I'll do it
Char: I get paid for that
Ginny: You'll change nappies someday, Char
Charlie: I recognize that if I have children they will come with nappies
Bill: No you have to provide them those
Charlie: You know what I meant

[269]
A screenshot from Charlie's Instagram. It's of a full table laden with partially emptied plates and wine glasses, a few lit candles, and some decorations. A platter of something toasted is visible in the middle. He has captioned it "Love a full table at the Burrow." It is liked by bookshanks, roonilwazlib,and 5 others, and has 2 comments.

[270]
Hermione
Hermione: I'll be waiting [kissing wink emoji]
Charlie: If I could will my parents to sleep I would
Hermione: Sleeping charm?
Charlie: I did consider it haha
Charlie: But no, they'll be out soon enough.
Hermione: In the meantime...
Hermione: Would you like to know what I've changed into?
Charlie: Go on...

[271]
Hermione
Hermione: It's red
Charlie: Okay...
Hermione: It's sheer
Charlie: I'm listening
Hermione: It's lacy
Charlie: Hermione...
Hermione: It fits like a glove
Hermione: And
Charlie: And?
Hermione: I think it would look very good on the floor
Charlie: I think I can help you with that
Hermione: Bedroom's back and to the left when you come through the floo
Hermione: I'm going to go get comfortable [wink emoji]

[272]
Charlie [dragon emoji]
Charlie: [image of Hermione asleep with sunlight crossing the bedding that has her covered]
Charlie: Didn't want to wake you
Charlie: You're fucking beautiful
Hermione: ugh I know you had to but I hate that you left
Charlie: Trust me it was hard
Charlie: Now that I have you I just want more all the time
Hermione: I know
Hermione: If we can get this reserve thing figured out

[273]
Charlie [dragon emoji]
Charlie: Yeah
Charlie: We'll figure it out
Charlie: In the meantime I have your gorgeous face in my head
Hermione: You're too charming
Hermione: I can't think

[274]
Nev [sprout emoji]
Neville: Surprising number of tattoos yesterday
Ginny: Hahaha
Neville: Well I know it's not Draco or Theo
Neville: In account of the clinginess
Ginny: Haha yeah they're sort of one big unit. Thraco. Dreo?
Neville: That leaves Bill (I hope not), Charlie, Harry, and Greg.
Neville: And if it's Harry I might die.
Ginny: It's not Harry [laugh emoji]
Ginny: Or Bill
Neville: I didn't see her anywhere near Greg at all that I can remember... and then that broom thing happened and your brothers were all out there
Ginny: She missed that, she had some kind of call
Neville: Hmmmmmm

[275]
A screenshot from Hermione's Instagram. It's of a pile of scrolls, tied together with string and covered in fancy script. she has captioned it "If I have to learn German to get this done I'm going to scream" and it is liked by hebrideanred, roonilwazlib,and 5,214 others. It has 47 comments.

[276]
A screenshot from Charlie's Instagram. It's of a dragon, spiny-ridged and maroon in color. He has captioned it "Warmer welcome than I like... everyone say hello to Gertie, who found her way through the wards around my cottage." It is liked by bookshanks, ginandtonic, and 5 others. It has 5 comments.

[277]
Charlie [dragon emoji]
Charlie: Well the wards on that shack were triggered not half a day after I got back
Charlie: (Hello)
Hermione: Milmann wants to meet with my boss and I got pulled in since I'm doing this work with you, so that's interesting
Hermione: (Hi)
Charlie: Curious
Hermione: It feels like everything suddenly moved all at once
Charlie: It really does
Hermione: I asked Harry to find out how much money it would take to claim the Yaxley land and the MacNair land
Charlie: I had a chat with one of Blaise's friends at the Borrow. Theo?
Hermione: Yeah he's nice!

[278]
Charlie [dragon emoji]
Charlie: Seemed like a good guy
Charlie: He sounded interested when I mentioned trying to figure out how to move the dragons to the UK
Hermione: Good to know
Hermione: Be careful at the shack. Can you take someone with you?
Charlie: I've got Lionel
Hermione: Lionel is a dog

[279]
Charlie [dragon emoji]
Charlie: He's a very good boy
Charlie: And he's only half dog
Hermione: He is essentially a Beagle
Charlie: A Beagle with supernatural tracking skills and exceptional speed
Charlie: And piss that'll eat through wood, but that's not terribly useful
Hermione: Ew
Hermione: Char
Charlie: Hahaha

[280]
A screenshot from Charlie's Instagram. It's a picture of a dog on a stump, looking up into a tree. He has captioned it "Lionel can find anything." It is liked by bookshanks, roonilwazlib, and 4 others. It has 1 comment.

[281]
A screenshot from Charlie's Instagram. It's a photo of a rotting shack in front of a glacier-topped mountain. He's captioned it "Empty. And when I'm done with it, forgotten." It is liked by bookshanks, ginandtonic, and 4 others. It has 1 comment.

[282]
Char, Percy, George, Bill, Ronnie
Ginny: CHAR YOU HAVE A DOG?????
Bill: What?
Charlie: His name is Lionel and he's not mine
Charlie: He's the Reserve's
Ginny: I love Lionel
Ginny: I'm going to make Lionel my whole personality
Ron: Gin's gone mental
Charlie: Lionel is only half dog
Charlie: He's half Romanian Whipdog
George: Oh shit aren't those dangerous
Ron: Is whipdog not a dog??
Charlie: Whipdog is a dog in the same way a direwolf is a dog, I guess

[283]
Char, Percy, George, Bill, Ronnie
Ginny: But he's so cute and small!!
Charlie: He is essentially an enhanced Beagle
Ron: My book on Fantastic Beasts says they have corrosive urine
Ron: And saliva that can poison you??
Charlie: Lionel's spit burns a little if he licks your skin
Charlie: And yeah he can piss right through a tree
Ron: Wtf
Bill: Sounds like a bad housepet
Percy: He'd ruin your hardwoods

[284]
Char, Percy, George, Bill, Ronnie
George: Only if he isn't house trained
Ginny: Shut up all of you
Ginny: I won't hear anything bad about Lionel
Ginny: I love him
Charlie: Hahahaha

[285]
Charlie [dragon emoji]
Hermione: Good news/Bad news
Hermione: (Hi)
Hermione: Good news: my boss and HIS boss both agree that a UK reserve is the preferred endgoal if Romania's collapses
Hermione: Bad news: now Milmann knows that so we are officially racing to a finish line
Hermione: And I think (and my boss agrees) that we ought to throw a fundraising gala, really pull out all the stops, but to do that we need a concrete plan to announce, which means you've run out of time to think about the director role
Hermione: Charlie?
Hermione: Hello?

[286]
Charlie [dragon emoji]
Hermione: Charlie please I'm getting really worried, it's been hours
Hermione: I keep trying to tell myself it's just work keeping you busy or bad signal in the mountains but the last time I heard from you, you were going to that bloody shack
Hermione: I'm going to give it two more hours and then... I don't know
Hermione: Please be okay

[287]
A screenshot of Hermione's Twitter feed.
hjg @biblione: don't panic don't panic
hjg @biblione: it's probably nothing
hjg @biblione: how long before panic is a reasonable response
hjg @biblione: fuck fuck fuck c'mon pick up your bloody phone
hjg @biblione: it's probably fine I'm probably just paranoid
hjg @biblione: or it's not and I'm wasting time fuck

[288]
Gin, Lav, Padma, Parvati
Padma: Hermione... what's with the freakout on priv
Lavender: I was about to ask
Lavender: Is everything ok??
Hermione: Not sure
Ginny: Can we help?
Parvati: Just say the word
Ginny: Does someone need a bat bogeying?
Lavender: Or their knees done in?
Parvati: Omg LAV
Lavender: Just saying I'm willing
Padma: You know we'd all help you vanish a body, Hermione

[289]
Harry, Mione
Ron: Mione, what's going on?
Ron: Your priv's completely unhinged even for you
Harry: Yeah it's like your flat's on fire or something
Harry: (It isn't, right?)
Hermione: My flat isn't on fire
Ron: So what is it? Can we help?
Hermione: I...
Hermione: Maybe?
Hermione: You two can't tell anyone
Harry: I solemnly swear
Ron: Same
Hermione: Charlie and I are together
Ron: I BLOODY KNEW IT

[290]
Harry, Mione
Harry: Why are you panicking then? Isn't that good?
Hermione: Yes of course it's good it's just I haven't heard from him in hours and the last time I did he was on his way to investigate a mysterious creepy shack
Hermione: And I don't know how much time to give him before it's a genuine crisis or if he's just out of signal or occupied
Harry: Hmm
Ron: He can handle himself
Hermione: I know he can but what if it was more than one man can handle?
Hermione: What if whoever built that shack outnumbers him or disarms him
Harry: Tell you what
Harry: How long has it been?

[291]
Harry, Mione
Hermione: Six hours since he posted that IG and we texted maybe half an hour prior
Harry: Ok six feels like a lot
Ron: Yeah agreed
Hermione: What do I do!??
Ron: I have two answers, do you want the best-friend-and-new-boyfriend's-brother answer or do you want the auror answer
Harry: The auror answer is "sit tight and we'll contact our Romanian friends" jsyk
Ron: Sigh
Ron: Okay the I'm a Weasley answer is drop your cat off with Harry and then get over here and we'll go together

[292]
Harry, Mione
Harry: Boo I want to come
Hermione: I can't just leave Rumples, she's too small
Ron: Gin?
Hermione: We're trying to keep this relationship quiet until we've sorted out the reserve, Gin'll blow it
Harry: Yeah she will
Ron: Hmm
Hermione: I have an idea... if it works
Hermione: Give me 15 minutes
Ron: Ok meet at mine
Harry: Time to go abuse my good name at the international portkeys office
Hermione: Quietly please

[293]
Malfoy
Hermione: Can I ask you to do something for me?
Draco: You can ask...
Draco: If I can ask why me?
Hermione: I'm about to go do something only 3 other people know I even have ties to... I need to ask for your discretion as well
Draco: Should I be honoured or scared
Hermione: I should say the former
Draco: Okay...
Draco: I'll want a less dodgy version of this story once you've done it, if I'm to help
Hermione: Can you watch my kitten? She's too small to leave alone and I'm not sure how long this will take
Draco: HAHAHA sure, Granger, I'll watch your cat

[294]
Malfoy
Draco: I was expecting you to ask for some sort of under the table potion brewing help or something
Hermione: I mean if you're offering such a thing, I'll keep it in mind if it ever comes up...
Draco: I am very adept at potions
Draco: Theo is very excited to meet your kitten
Draco: Floo's open to you

[295]
Theo, Malfoy
Theo: GRANGER I LOVE HER
Draco: You cannot Instagram the kitten until she says so
Theo: [3 frowning emojis]
Hermione: You can send me your pictures for now
Theo: Her beautiful ears deserve to be admired by my followers but I will wait for your word
Draco: I'll keep him in line, Granger
Draco: Go do your mysterious whatever it is
Hermione: Thank you both, truly

[296]
Red
Ginny: [2 laugh emojis] Blaise what the hell
Blaise: You don't like it? I worked so hard
Ginny: Is this supposed to be round??
Blaise: It IS round
Ginny: Debatable
Ginny: Tastes good at least
Blaise: Is that not the more important part
Ginny: If I were blind I would believe this to be the most incredible cake ever made yes
Ginny: What's the occasion?
Blaise: Practicing
Ginny: For?
Blaise: The party
Ginny: What party?

[297]
Red
Blaise: The one I'm gonna throw when you're all moved in
Ginny: Hahahahaha okay
Ginny: Want to do it in my empty flat before I turn in the key?
Blaise: Fuck
Blaise: Yes
Blaise: You're a genius
Ginny: I know

[298]
A screenshot of Ginny's Instagram. It's a picture of a cake, haphazardly frosted in white with patchy spots, one candle in it, with the words "you make me smile and also super horny" written in pink icing with a heart underneath. She has captioned it "@zabeans is a man of many talents [laugh emoji]" and it has 14 comments. It has been liked by amdap, nevlongs, and 65 others.

[299]
Ron
Ron: You better be ok big brother
Ron: 'Cause if you're not Hermione seems about fit to fall apart
Ron: Idk how long you two have been doing this secret thing (I KNEW IT, by the way) but I haven't seen her so worked up about anything since NEWTs
Ron: That sounds super swotty but trust me it means something
Ron: Anyway this place is fucking beautiful, I expect a tour once we find your missing arse
Ron: It better be in one piece
Ron: I won't lose another brother
Ron: You aren't allowed

[300]
Daphne, Pansy
Pansy: Hey Ginny
Ginny: Hey Pansy
Pansy: Why do Theo and Draco have Hermione's cat
Ginny: What???
Ginny: They do?????
Pansy: Yeah I stopped by to drop off the earrings I borrowed from Draco's mother and Theo was giggling like a child and playing with her on the couch
Pansy: And they both got REALLY shifty when I asked
Daphne: Hey that's interesting
Daphne: What's up with that
Ginny: I have no idea!!???
Ginny: Hold plz

[301]
Gin
Ginny: WHY do Draco and Theo have your cat??
Hermione: ...
Ginny: They didn't snitch
Hermione: So then why do you know
Ginny: Why wasn't I supposed to know
Ginny: Where are you
Ginny: Why did you leave Rumples with them instead of one of us
Ginny: I'm so confused!!
Hermione: I'll explain later
Hermione: I have reasons
Ginny: Wtf is going on
Ginny: Hermione
Ginny: HERMIONE?????

[302]
A screenshot of Charlie's lock screen. His lock photo is the photo he took of Hermione sitting in his armchair reading a book when she visited him the first time. He has a stack of missed texts. The top one is from Hermione and simply reads "CHARLIE?"

Chapter Text

[303]
Charlie [dragon emoji]
Hermione: CHARLIE
Charlie: Hey
Hermione: HEY????
Hermione: Where are you!!??
Charlie: Not sure
Charlie: Lionel was just here though so if he found you he's probably trying to bring you here
Hermione: Okay
Hermione: stay put
Charlie: Kinda have to
Hermione: You scared me
Charlie: I'm sorry
Charlie: You're not gonna be too happy with me when you see me, fair warning
Hermione: ...

[304]
Charlie [dragon emoji]
Hermione: Are you hurt? Should I send for someone?
Charlie: Come here first
Hermione: He's so dirty
Charlie: Lionel? You should see the other guys
Hermione: omfg

[305]
A screenshot from Hermione's private Intagram account. She's posted a picture of a bloodied-up Charlie. He's looking off to the right and there are rivulets of dried blood down his cheek from under his hair, which is filthy and in his eyes. She has posted "this whole thing is getting too dangerous and I don't know what to do" with it.

[306]
red @andtonic: WAIT DID YOU GO TO ROMANIA???
hjg @biblione: yes and I brought two aurors with me
red @andtonic: wait @prongsthesecond @wonaldreasley did you go to Romania too?????
ron @wonaldreasley: fuck yeah we did

[307]
parv @hottieparvati: is that his blood?
hjp @prongsthesecond: yes
parv @hottieparvati: wtf!!!

[308]
A screenshot from Charlie's Instagram. It's a picture of a very dirty Lionel lying on the ground with his harness on. It is captioned "Lionel is getting a bath later." It has 2 comments. It is liked by bookshanks, roonilwazlib, and 5 others.

[309]
A screenshot from Harry's Instagram. It is a picture of a cranky Hermione glaring at the camera. Her hair is large and wild. He has captioned it "omg she's so mad" and it has 24 comments. It is liked by ginandtonic, roonilwazlib, and 5,847 others.

[310]
A screenshot from Ron's Instagram. It's of hands holding a scaly green dragon egg. He has captioned it "they're so warm [fire emoji]" and it has 2 comments. It is liked by bookshanks, hebrideanred, and 16 others.

[311]
A screenshot from Harry's Instagram. It is of a small black dragon being held in the palm of someone's hand. He has captioned it "YES THAT IS MY HAND" and it has 251 comments. It has been liked by bookshanks, hebrideanred, and 5,214 others.

[312]
A screenshot from Ron's Instagram. It's a shot from below of three dragons flying, silhouetted against the darkening sky. He has captioned it with 14 starry-eyed emojis. It has 12 comments, and has been liked by ginandtonic, livelavlove, and 45 others.

[313]
A screenshot from Harry's Instagram. It's of Lionel, ears floppy, eyes up, and tongue flopping out of his open mouth. Harry has captioned it "I'm gonna steal Lionel." It has 15 comments and is liked by amdap, livelavlove, and 254 others.

[314]
A screenshot of Hermione's Instagram. It's a close-up of Charlie, looking off to the right, his curls framing his face. There are scratches visible on his cheek. She has captioned it "He's infuriating [sobbing emoji]" and it has 14 comments. It is liked by ginandtonic, roonilwazlib, and 651 others.

[315]
Hermione
Charlie: You're not drinking your tea
Hermione: Guess not
Charlie: I'm all right
Hermione: You were completely unreachable for hours and then when we found you there was blood everywhere and you couldn't stand on your right leg
Charlie: That is true
Charlie: But I'm all right now
Hermione: What if we hadn't come?
Hermione: Or if Lionel hadn't found us?
Charlie: I'd have figured it out
Charlie: Once I found my wand it was fine
Hermione: And if you hadn't found it??
Charlie: Hermione...

[316]
Hermione
Charlie: You don't have to worry about me, I have been through worse
Hermione: Are you ever going to get it into your head that I am going to worry about you whether you think I need to or not
Hermione: I care about you
Hermione: So much
Hermione: You scared the shit out of me
Charlie: I'm sorry
Charlie: Come over here and sit with me
Hermione: Not with Harry and Ron here

[317]
Hermione
Charlie: I'm not going to fuck you on the table in front of them
Hermione: Omg that wasn't what I thought you were up to
Charlie: I mean now I kind of want to fuck you on the table
Charlie: Harry and Ron are NOT part of that plan
Charlie: Just get over here

[318]
Gin
Hermione: I'll explain later
Hermione: I have reasons
Ginny: ROMANIAN REASONS
Ginny: HERMIONE JEAN
Hermione: It was for work
Ginny: Why do Harry and Ron need to be there??? And wtf happened to Charlie???
Hermione: He found an old shack being used by someone not associated with the reserve just outside the property
Hermione: He warded it to tell him when it was occupied again and when it went off he took Lionel and went to investigate
Hermione: BY HIMSELF
Ginny: omg
Ginny: Was it full of people?
Hermione: Yes

[319]
Gin
Hermione: He managed to take out the shack and two of the men but then a third disarmed him and ran. Lionel tried to chase him down but he got away, Charlie thinks he apparated
Hermione: He was really badly injured in one leg and was bleeding from like ten different hexes, and it was in the bloody woods so it took him ages to find his wand
Ginny: Good Godric
Ginny: He's ok now right?
Hermione: Yeah
Hermione: We patched him up
Hermione: We're staying the night and then we'll come back
Ginny: Ok
Ginny: You freaked me out!
Hermione: I'm sorry

[320]
Theo, Malfoy
Hermione: You can Instagram Rumples if you want now, Theo

[321]
A screenshot from Theo's Instagram. It's a picture of Rumples sitting on white bedding, front paws crossed, ears perked up, and looking to the right. Theo has captioned it "MY FAVORITE HOUSEGUEST" and it has 12 comments. It has been liked by bookshanks, ginandtonic, and 64 others.

[322]
A screenshot from Theo's Instagram. Rumples is perched up on something and at alert. Theo has captioned it "she's perfect [heart eyes emoji]" and it has 2 comments. It has been liked by bonnefoi, heartsease, and 14 others.

[323]
A screenshot from Theo's Instagram. It's a close-up of Rumples. He has captioned it "uncle theo will watch you anytime, pretty kitty @bookshanks." It has 7 comments. It has been liked by bonnefoi, daphodil, and 21 others.

[324]
Ron, Harry [shamrock emoji]
Harry: Silence your room for the love of Merlin
Hermione: We aren't even doing anything
Hermione: He's brushing his teeth
Harry: I was preemptively remarking
Ron: I swear to Merlin I will throw myself off this mountain if I have to listen to you two shagging
Hermione: I'm silencing it!!! Don't be so dramatic
Harry: Would you want to hear either of us shagging?
Hermione: I've heard Ron
Ron: What when
Hermione: ...
Hermione: Ron

[325]
Ron, Harry [shamrock emoji]
Ron: Ahaha haha ok right
Harry: Moron
Hermione: Hahahahahaha goodnight
Ron: Night!!
Harry: Night Mione

[326]
A screenshot of Charlie's lock screen. He has updated the picture to a silhouette of Hermione holding a mug of tea in front of backlit curtains. There's a text on the screen from Ron which reads "Portkey leaves in 45 min."

[327]
Charlie [heart emoji]
Charlie: Miss you
Charlie: (Hello)
Hermione: I left half an hour ago haha
Hermione: (Hi)
Charlie: I still miss you
Hermione: I miss you too
Charlie: I'll do it
Charlie: The director role
Hermione: You're sure?
Charlie: As sure as I'm going to get
Charlie: Let's get this proposal made
Hermione: You're incredible
Hermione: Amazing
Hermione: Just... I'm lucky
Charlie: I thought I was a reckless idiot

[328]
Charlie [heart emoji]
Hermione: You're that too
Hermione: But you're my incredible amazing reckless idiot, and I'm a lucky woman
Charlie: I think I'm the lucky one
Charlie: Let me know if I can do anything to help draft that thing. In the meantime Gio and I have some catching up to do. He's going to be dying for an update after I tied those two arseholes together and threw my emergency portkey on top
Hermione: That had to be a surprise
Charlie: Yeah I suspect he has questions

[329]
A screenshot from Draco's Instagram. It's Rumples prancing across the keys of a piano, complex sheet music in the background. He has captioned it "my protege @bookshanks" and it has 4 comments. It is liked by nottyboi, parryhotter, and 18 others.

[330]
A screenshot from Theo's Instagram. It is a photo of Rumples gnawing on the keys of a piano. He has captioned it "ssshhhhh don't tell @bonnefoi" and it has 3 comments. It is liked by bookshanks, heartsease, and 25 others.

[331]
A screenshot from Draco's Instagram. It's a picture of Hermione, leaning forward and playing with the charms on her necklace. She's in a sleeveless dress. He has captioned the photo "Theo and I have decided that Granger is our new best friend." It has 2 comments.

[332]
A screenshot from Hermione's Instagram. It's a picture of Rumples sitting on her bed, a floral pillowcase visible in the background. She has captioned it "Rumples and I are home again! Thankful to @bonnefoi and @nottyboy for taking such good care of her (and teaching her to play piano, my little prodigy)." It has 16 comments. It's liked by bonnefoi, ginandtonic, and 521 others.

[333]
Ron, Harry [shamrock emoji]
Harry: What if I got a dog
Hermione: omg
Ron: Hahaha I should have placed bets
Hermione: ok if you're serious two things
Hermione: 1) I wanna go with you when you get the dog
Hermione: 2) please please please take some time and think about it for real? I love you but that's a "however long the dog lives" commitment and we've been home maybe three hours and you played with Lionel for one day
Ron: Wow killjoy
Hermione: Maybe I am
Harry: I will think about it, I promise
Harry: And you can come with me if you can promise me you won't make a single squeaky noise

[334]
Ron, Harry [shamrock emoji]
Ron: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Hermione: Challenge accepted, shut up Ron
Ron: Ten galleons says you squeak immediately upon seeing the first puppy
Hermione: I will not
Harry: I'll take a "she manages 15 minutes and then breaks" bet
Ron: You're on
Hermione: You're both going to owe me money because I won't make a SOUND
Harry: Ahhahahahahahaha
Ron: HAHAHA

Chapter Text

[335]
H [cat emoji], Har, Nev [sprout emoji], Ronnie
Ginny: Ok you lot I am requesting help
Hermione: I can help
Harry: Me too
Ron: Help with what
Neville: I'll help
Ginny: Blaise and I are throwing one last party in my flat before I turn in the key
Ginny: And I don't want to lift a finger
Ron: Hahaha you know the fastest way to get it done
Ginny: I am not involving mum
Hermione: I'll do it
Hermione: Just tell me what you want and it's done

[336]
H [cat emoji], Har, Nev [sprout emoji], Ronnie
Neville: I'll help, Hermione
Ginny: You're all amazing and I love you
Harry: We know
Ron: You have to love me we're related
Ginny: The burdens I carry
Harry: That's factually inaccurate
Harry: Ask me how I know
Hermione: [facepalm emoji]
Ginny: ANYWAY Hermione I'll get you Pansy's number, she's also a party planner type
Hermione: Okay!

[337]
Theo
Theo: Hey
Theo: You free tonight?
Blaise: No plans, what's up
Theo: Thought we could gather as men and do manly things
Blaise: ...
Theo: Just come over here and hang out
Theo: Draco's in a good mood the last few days
Blaise: Maybe you two should get a kitten
Theo: Maybe we should
Theo: But we love Granger's kitten specifically
Theo: What if other kittens are not the same
Blaise: There's no way she's Grangerized that cat yet, it's still teeny weeny

[338]
Theo
Theo: But what if we want a swotty cat
Blaise: How would you know you even have a swotty cat
Blaise: Can you tell by looking
Theo: I think you can
Blaise: Well then you should be able to pick the swottiest cat
Theo: Just be here at 8

[339]
Gin
Ginny: Blaise is going over to Draco and Theo's tonight so come with me to Parvati's
Hermione: What's at Parvati's?
Ginny: Parvati
Hermione: I'm not coming
Ginny: Oh come on
Hermione: Fine
Hermione: Get Lav and Padma in too

[340]
A screenshot from Ginny's Instagram. It's a screenshot of Padma laughing, her head thrown back, hair left naturally curly, while the foreground of the frame is largely blocked by her sister's kimono-clad arse. Ginny has captioned it "@amdap looking classy while @parhottie acts like an arse hahahahaha" and it has 6 comments. It has been liked by bookshanks, livelavlove, and 45 others.

[341]
A screenshot from Lavender's Instagram. It's a close-up of Hermione, hair wild, with her hands clasped in front of her face. She is smiling and looking directly at the camera. Lavender has captioned it "beautiful @bookshanks" and it is liked by hebrideanred, roonilwazlib, and 64 others. It has 8 comments.

[342]
A screenshot from Blaise's Instagram. It's a blurry shot of Theo tackling Draco for a kiss. He has captioned it "can't take these two fucking anywhere" and it has 1 comment. It is liked by bookshanks, ginandtonic, and 5 others.

[343]
A screenshot from Parvati's Instagram. It's of Ginny lying on white bedding in a cozy brown knit sweater, her hands over her eyes and her hair loose. Parvati has captioned it "ginny's done in [laugh emoji]" and it has 1 comment. It is liked by bookshanks, livelavlove, and 6 others.

[344]
Charlie [heart emoji]
Charlie: Having fun? Saw Gin's instagram
Charlie: (Hello)
Hermione: Yeah! Impromptu girls' night
Hermione: (Hi)
Charlie: That pic she took is stunning
Hermione: Thank you [loved emoji]
Charlie: Just wish I was closer
Charlie: I'd love to welcome you home when you finish the night
Hermione: Yeah? How?
Charlie: First I'd kiss you
Charlie: Sit you on the couch, get your shoes off, make you comfortable
Hermione: Go on...
Charlie: Then I'd strip away your clothes piece by piece
Charlie: I'd get you bare

[345]
Charlie [heart emoji]
Charlie: Feast my eyes on your gorgeous body
Hermione: I'm trying so hard to seem unaffected right now
Charlie: Then I'm not doing my damn job
Hermione: Your sister's gonna figure me out
Charlie: Let her
Charlie: I'm hard as a rock and I miss you
Charlie: Let me
Hermione: Charlie
Charlie: Take a loo break or something
Hermione: Okay
Hermione: Okay I'm in the loo
Hermione: Continue at your leisure
Charlie: I've got you naked on the couch

[346]
Charlie [heart emoji]
Hermione: Yes
Charlie: I'd kneel between your legs, push them apart
Charlie: Kiss your thighs, make you whine
Charlie: I love the way you whine
Hermione: Whine?
Charlie: Whimper
Charlie: It's the most erotic sound in the world and I adore it
Hermione: What would you do
Charlie: Are you touching yourself?
Hermione: Yes
Hermione: Tell me what you'd do
Charlie: I'd take it slow
Charlie: Lick you, suck you, kiss you
Charlie: Until you were squirming

[347]
Charlie [heart emoji]
Charlie: Until your fingers were yanking my hair
Hermione: Please
Hermione: I wish you were here
Charlie: Me too
Charlie: I'd make you scream my name and only then would I let up
Hermione: And then you'd fill me up?
Charlie: Anything you want, beautiful
Charlie: Fuck
Charlie: Fuck I just came so hard
Hermione: Me too
Charlie: Invent me a reason to come to England
Charlie: Don't tell my family, I'll come straight to you
Hermione: The contract
Hermione: It's written

[348]
Charlie [heart emoji]
Hermione: Maybe I need your review

Charlie: Good enough
Charlie: First portkey I can get
Charlie: It's yours

[349]
Pansy Parkinson
Hermione: Hi Pansy! Ginny gave me your info to help party plan. Do you want to meet up to chat?
Hermione: This is Hermione, I should say
Pansy: I would have asked... that sounds good to me
Pansy: I'm busy until Thursday but I can meet you Friday or Saturday? When does she move out again?
Hermione: Two weeks from tomorrow so it would be tight, but I can start brainstorming and bring you ideas. Have you been to the little cafe next to Gringott's lately?
Pansy: Ew no the owner's an arsehole. The pastries are better at the cafe where Borgin & Burke's used to be. Let's go there
Hermione: Okay. I haven't been there yet
Pansy: Knockturn's just a street name, Granger

[350]
Pansy Parkinson
Hermione: I didn't say anything about it
Pansy: I can hear it in my head. People are still twitchy about it.
Pansy: You'll see. It's just another street
Hermione: Okay
Pansy: 2:00 on Friday?
Hermione: I can make that work
Hermione: See you then
Pansy: Okay

[351]
Ron, Harry [shamrock emoji]
Harry: Oi you two
Harry: I've decided to go tomorrow to the Animal Rescue instead of sitting in the weekly meeting
Hermione: EEEEEEEEEEEE
Ron: That counts, pay up
Hermione: Does not
Ron: Harry
Harry: I heard no squeaking
Harry: I only see capital letters
Ron: Fine
Ron: But this doesn't bode well for you, Mione
Hermione: Maybe I'm just lowering your expectations
Ron: You couldn't possibly

[352]
A screenshot from Ron's Instagram. It's a picture of Hermione, holding a very wrinkly tan-and-white basset hound. Ron has captioned it "how many times do I say 'Mione you just got a kitten' before I give up and let her overwhelm her little flat with animals" and it has 4 comments. It is liked by ginandtonic, hebrideanred, and 16 others.

[353]
A screenshot from Harry's Instagram. It's a picture of a cheery looking black Labrador retriever outside in a green yard. He has captioned it "Say hello to Padfoot. He was left at the shelter by someone whose father passed suddenly and they didn't want to take care of his dog. No details were left, he's anywhere from 1-3 years old, and I felt an immediate affinity. I, too, was left on a doorstep." It has been liked by bookshanks, roonilwazlib, and 6,451 others.

[354]
Comments from Harry's Instagram Post:
Hermione: 1) You're ridiculous and 2) I LOVE HIM
Ron: You jinxed yourself to a lifetime of mischief naming him that
Charlie: Looks like a very good boy.
Parvati: oh my gooooOOOOOOOODDDDDDD
Pansy: He's beautiful, Harry
Draco: *P*adfoot
Ginny: AAAAAAAAAAA I'M COMING OVER RIGHT NOW

[355]
A screenshot from Hermione's Instagram. It's from over Ginny's shoulder. She has both hands around Padfoot's face, pearl bracelet on her right hand, her nails painted a light blue. Her hair and her profile are visible but out of focus on the right hand side of the frame. Hermione has captioned it "Padfoot meets @ginandtonic!!" and it has 47 comments. It is liked by roonilwazlib, zabeans, and 514 others.

[356]
Hermione
Charlie: Hello
Hermione: Hi
Charlie: Portkey arrives in 2 hours
Hermione: EEEEEE!!!!!
Charlie: Hahaha
Hermione: I thought you meant it would take a few days!!
Charlie: I have my ways
Charlie: Will you be home?
Hermione: I'm just at Harry's. I'll head home in a little bit.
Charlie: Good, I've got plans for you
Hermione: You do?
Charlie: Scroll up and read back a bit. I laid it all out for you.

[357]
Hermione
Hermione: Well in that case
Hermione: I should go home now and shower
Hermione: I smell like a dog shelter
Charlie: Pretty sure that wouldn't stop me, but by all means
Hermione: Hahaha no we are not even close to that level of comfy yet
Charlie: No? I distinctly remember waking up with your hair in my mouth
Hermione: But it smelled lovely, didn't it
Charlie: Very true
Hermione: I will not allow you to associate the smell of dog with me
Charlie: Oh quit your worrying
Charlie: I now understand why Ron seems significantly dumber around Padma
Charlie: I'm just happy you let me smell you at all

[358]
Hermione
Hermione: Now who sounds like a dog
Charlie: Excuse you
Hermione: Hahahahahahaha
Hermione: I love dogs, if that helps
Charlie: Maybe it does

[359]
Gin
Ginny: Heyyyy I'm gonna stop by real quick, I have an idea for the party and Pans isn't home
Ginny: Hermione?
Ginny: Your floo was open so I let myself in and I CAN HEAR YOU having SEX WITH SOMEBODY so I will be nice and not barge in but girl you owe me INFORMATION

Chapter Text

[360]
Gin
Ginny: Heyyyy I'm gonna stop by real quick, I have an idea for the party and Pans isn't home
Ginny: Hermione?
Ginny: Your floo was open so I let myself in and I CAN HEAR YOU having SEX WITH SOMEBODY so I will be nice and not barge in but girl you owe me INFORMATION
Ginny: EXCUSE ME
Ginny: THIS IS CHARLIE'S JACKET
Ginny: IS THAT CHARLIE IN THERE OH MY GOD
Ginny: HERMIONE JEAN GRANGER

[361]
Ronnie
Ginny: RON!!!!!!!!
Ginny: DID YOU KNOW???????
Ron: ...about...???
Ginny: CHARLIE
Ginny: HERMIONE
Ron: oh that yes
Ginny: OH THAT!???????
Ron: I found out when we went to Romania on the rescue thing
Ginny: ...
Ginny: You have known for WEEKS?????
Ginny: RON
Ron: Harry too!
Ginny: HARRY ISN'T MY BROTHER
Ron: I'm telling him you said that

[362]
Gin
Hermione: OMG Gin you can't tell people, I don't want people thinking there's anything unfair about the reserve proposal and if it gets out we're together you know Rita Skeeter will leap on it
Ginny: Please
Ginny: I'm chill
Ginny: I'm cool
Hermione: You already texted people
Ginny: Just Ron
Ginny: And Blaise
Hermione: Okay well Ron already knows but please

[363]
Gin
Ginny: I'll tell Blaise to keep it quiet
Ginny: Also tell Charlie he owes me a reserve tour
Hermione: Hahaha okay fine
Hermione: Thank you thank you thank you
Ginny: Sounds like you really like him
Hermione: Oh my god
Hermione: Stop
Ginny: Just saying
Ginny: You seem like a fan
Hermione: GINNY
Ginny: Hahahahahahahahaahaha
Hermione: I'm taking you off my wards
Ginny: Oh come on

[364]
Ginster
Ginny: PLEEEEEEEEASE CAN I TELL THE FAMILY CHAT
Ginny: PLEEEEEASE CHARLIE
Ginny: THEY WON'T TALK I'LL THREATEN THEM
Charlie: No
Charlie: Shh
Ginny: [3 despairing emojis] I'm dying
Ginny: I'm bursting with information
Charlie: You have one piece of information
Charlie: And if you want to see the reserve you'll shut up
Charlie: For now
Ginny: You're killing meeeeeee
Charlie: I'd like to show my girl off myself when we get this thing done, you know

[365]
Ginster
Ginny: Your girl [awww emoji]
Charlie: You and your emojis
Ginny: [3 awww emojis] [4 heart-eyes emojis]
Ginny: [2 winking kissing emojis] <- that's you and Hermione
Charlie: [middle finger emoji]
Ginny: YOU FOUND THE EMOJI KEYBOARD I'M SO PROUD
Charlie: [6 middle finger emojis]

[366]
Gin, Lav, Padma, Parvati
Hermione: [3 red alarm emojis]
Lav: What is it?
Parvati: Are you ok?
Hermione: I'm presenting to the dept head tomorrow
Hermione: What do I wear???
Gin: I'm coming over
Parvati: Me too
Lav: And me!!

[367]
A screenshot from Ginny's Instagram. It's a picture of Hermione, enjoying an espresso with a book, facing into the wind as her hair is blown back. She is in a purple-and-white striped blouse and a plum-colored blazer. She has demure earrings in. Ginny has captioned it "She wins every argument she gets into, so you know how this is gonna go [sunglasses emoji]." It has 5 comments and has been liked by hebrideanred, parryhotter, and 14 others.

[368]
An Instagram DM from Harry Potter:
Harry: Hi Pansy
Pansy: Hello...
Pansy: To what do I owe the pleasure?
Harry: I was wondering...
Harry: Would you like to join me for dinner on Saturday?
Pansy: Like a date?
Harry: Exactly like that.
Pansy: I'd like that
Harry: Great. I'll pick you up at 7?
Pansy: I'll look forward to it

[369]
A screenshot from Ron's Instagram. It's a close-up of Padma, looking off camera, gold earrings in and her hair done up, with tendrils around her face left free. She's in a brown collared shirt. Ron has captioned it "Love you, @amdap." It has 5 comments, and is liked by bookshanks, parhottie, and 64 others.

[370]
A screenshot from Theo's Instagram. It's a close-up of Draco's chest. You can see he's wearing silver rings and a watch. He's holding his leather jacket open to reveal the shirt beneath reads "NICEST ASSHOLE." Theo has captioned it "Everyone please commend me for my impeccable Draco-dressing skills." It has 1 comment and is liked by bonnefoi, zabeans, and 5 others.

[371]
A screenshot from Harry's Instagram. It's of Padfoot on a leather couch against a white pillow, his paw over his face. Harry has captioned it "I feel ya, buddy." It has 125 comments, and is liked by bookshanks, heartsease, and 5,847 others.

[372]
A screenshot from Hermione's Instagram. It's of a foggy old-fashioned lane with brick buildings and shingle rooftops. The street is wet. She has captioned it "Nothing more British in the world, I think, than a rainy day on a street like this one." It has 15 comments and has been liked by hebrideanred, livelavlove, and 46 others.

[373]
Charlie [heart emoji]
Hermione: Tell me it'll all work out
Hermione: (Hi)
Charlie: It'll all work out
Charlie: (Hello)
Charlie: Did it go badly?
Hermione: Yes and no
Charlie: Lay it on me
Hermione: Well they agree the British Ministry shouldn't get involved in something that gets us very little for the sake of Germany's growth
Hermione: So that's good
Hermione: But they don't think we need to be the solution to Romania's problems either
Hermione: And without having a clear financial route to claiming the land we're not exactly a compelling alternative

[374]
Charlie [heart emoji]
Charlie: All right so we figure out if we can do this with private investors
Charlie: How much did the land work out to?
Hermione: Roughly 2700 galleons per acre
Charlie: Fuck
Charlie: Okay
Charlie: Fuck
Hermione: Yeah
Charlie: That seems high
Hermione: They belonged to death eaters, so there's an extra fee on every acre for curse mitigation
Charlie: Hmm okay
Charlie: Well let's see what we can come up with in terms of private investment

[375]
Charlie [heart emoji]
Charlie: I'll get a portkey
Charlie: Friday night?
Hermione: Okay. I'm meeting Pansy to sort out Ginny's apartment party but coming home to you sounds divine
Charlie: Sure does
Charlie: It's a plan

[376]
A screenshot from Hermione's Instagram. It's of Pansy from behind, dressed in a trenchcoat and a red beret, sat at the window counter of a bright and airy shop with lots of plants on shelves and hanging in the window. The chairs are light wood. Hermione has captioned it "@heartsease are you kidding me, this place used to be BORGIN AND BURKES omg" and it has 45 comments. It is liked by bonnefoi, roonilwazlib, and 642 others.

[377]
Char, Percy, George, Bill, Ronnie
Charlie: So I have news
Ginny: !!!!! Is it time????
Ron: ooooo news?
Percy: [2 peering monocle emojis]
Bill: So Ginny already knows...
George: Curious
Ginny: Ron too if it's what I think it is
Ron: Oh that!
Percy: [4 magnifying glass emojis]
Charlie: Hermione and I are together
Ginny: Wait does this mean the proposal failed

[378]
Char, Percy, George, Bill, Ronnie
Ron: Oh boo
Charlie: Sort of? She at least convinced the Ministry not to support Germany's bloody thing, so that's not nothing
Charlie: But if we want to bring it here we need to fund with private investors
Ginny: I KNOW SO MANY RICH PEOPLE CHARLIE
Charlie: Hahaha careful there
Ron: Hey me too!
George: Oh merlin
Ron: What
George: Well if you two go screaming "give me money" at your rich friends it's going to go over like a Fred joke near mum

[379]
Char, Percy, George, Bill, Ronnie
Percy: Maybe you could stop telling her those
George: It's MY FACE TOO
Bill: Take it up with the mirrors
George: Anyway I can give you some money, Char
George: The shop's a right moneymaker
Ron: It's true, I've seen his books
Charlie: Don't get a head of Hermione, she's planning
Ginny: Righto
Ron: She does love planning
Bill: Congrats, Char
George: Right yes congrats

[380]
Char, Percy, George, Bill, Ronnie
Percy: [3 celebrating emojis]
Ginny: Perce you have to cool it with the emojis please
Percy: [middle finger emoji]
Charlie: Ha that's a good one, I like that one too [middle finger emoji]
Ron: Versatile [middle finger emoji]
George: [2 middle finger emojis]
Bill: Where do I find those
Ginny: Don't tell him
Ginny: Find it yourself old man
Bill: [middle finger emoji]
Ginny: I'm so proud

[381]
Gin, Lav, Padma, Parvati
Hermione: Soooooooo
Hermione: I'm dating Charlie
Ginny: Yeah I know
Parvati: !!!!!!!
Padma: Since when?????
Lav: Ooooo how many tattoos? Do they go all over?
Parvati: Is he as good in bed as he looks like he should be??
Padma: Oh my god ignore them

[382]
Gin, Lav, Padma, Parvati
Ginny: PLEASE ignore them
Hermione: Ahhahahahahahaha
Hermione: You're all ridiculous
Hermione: And yes he is [sunglasses emoji]
Ginny: UGGGHHHHHHHHHH

[383]
A screenshot from Hermione's private twitter that is just a picture of a clearly nude Charlie in her bed, backlit by the window, his hair wild around his head. She's written HE'S MINE [3 hot emojis] along with it.

[384]
Responses to the tweet:
red @andtonic: ugh gross
ron @wonaldreasley: oh no is this the future of my tl
parv @hottieparvati: lucky bitch [winking kiss emoji]

[385]
A screenshot from Charlie's Instagram. It's a picture of Hermione in white eyelet pajamas, hair wild, face unmade, and he has captioned it "my girl." It has 4 comments and is liked by bookshanks, ginandtonic, and 6 others.

[386]
A screenshot from Hermione's Instagram. It's of Charlie in a white button-down, his hair messed up, lit from the left. She's captioned it "his hair gets all poofy when I play with it [2 heart-eyes emojis]" and it has 3 comments. It has been liked by ginandtonic, roonilwazlib, and 64 others.

[387]
A screenshot of Charlie's Instagram. It's a picture of Hermione smiling in a green knit sleeveless top. Her hair is swept to one side, and she is holding an ice cream cone to the camera. He has captioned it "Took my gorgeous girl out for ice cream now that I can show her off." It has 2 comments. It is liked by bookshanks, parryhotter, and 6 others.

[388]
A screenshot from Hermione's Instagram. It's of Charlie, his hair slicked back and damp, sitting in a coat with a red vest beneath it. She's captioned it "sneaking pics before he realizes I've returned from the loo" and it has 25 comments. It is liked by hebrideanred, livelavlove, and 341 others.

[389]
A screenshot from Pansy's Instagram. It's a close-up of Harry, his hair swept to one side, his beard neatly kept. He's looking directly into the camera. Pansy has captioned it "My date tonight. Funny how I still expect the [glasses emoji] even though he says he hasn't worn them in years." It has 4 comments and is liked by bookshanks, zabeans, and 51 others.

[390]
A screenshot of Harry's Instagram. It's of Pansy, leaning against the table with her phone up. There's a sticker of an alien dancing Saturday Night Fever on the back of it, and an upturned empty shot glass in front of her. Harry has captioned it "@heartsease this is officially the best first date I have ever been on and I will gladly do this again and again if you'll have me." It has 4 comments and is liked by heartsease, nottyboy,and 5,142 others.

[391]
A screenshot of the Twitter profile for the Daily Prophet. In order of posting:
Everything you need to know to make your treacle tarts the talk of the town! See our Monday issue for—
Does your owl show signs of vertigo? It could have the dreaded lopsided avian virus, sweeping through owleries across Europe! [521 comments] [25 reposts] [6,624 likes]
SPOTTED: The Golden Girl Hermione Granger appears to have shacked up with Charlie Weasley, older brother of her old flame, war hero Ronald Weasley! Is the brightest witch of our age just making her way through the Weasley family tree? [55.3k comments] [556 reposts] [645k likes]
BREAKING: The Boy Who Lived, Harry Potter, has been spotted with famed Death Eater Gladiolus Parkinson's youngest daughter Pansy. Is it love? Is it lust? Rita Skeeter has the juicy details in tomorrow's issue! [564k comments] [46.3k reposts] [1.25m likes]

[392]
Ron, Harry [shamrock emoji]
Ron: How did Rita manage to drag me into this
Harry: You knew she'd find a way
Hermione: All three of us in two tweets! She must be so thrilled
Hermione: Look at all the clicks she's generated using our names
Harry: At least Pansy is also just as aware this is rubbish
Ron: Small mercies
Ron: Date went well?
Harry: Really well actually
Harry: She's amazing
Hermione: Yeah I really enjoyed party planning with her too
Ron: And how's Charlie?

[393]
Ron, Harry [shamrock emoji]
Hermione: Incredible
Hermione: Sexy
Ron: Slow down
Hermione: I think I love him
Ron: Have you told him that?
Hermione: Not yet
Harry: Well why are you telling us and not him
Hermione: Because I need to work up to it
Hermione: I've only ever said it to one person before and you both know how that went
Ron: Wait hang on
Ron: Don't you mean me?
Harry: She means Viktor

[394]
Ron, Harry [shamrock emoji]
Hermione: We never said that, Ron
Ron: Are you sure?
Ron: I could've sworn we did
Hermione: I mean I do love you, just not love love
Hermione: You know what I mean
Harry: Like you love Ginny
Ron: Yeah I got it
Hermione: Anyway I will
Hermione: Eventually

[395]
Char, Percy, George, Bill, Ronnie
Ron: Charlie, mum's harassing all of us
Ginny: For once I am not the last to know ahahahahaha
George: You and Hermione are demanded for dinner tonight
Charlie: Fuck
Bill: Hahaha
Charlie: Fuck she's going to be insufferable
Ron: [music notes emoji] wedding songs [music notes emoji]
George: [ring emoji] [chapel emoji]
Percy: [bride emoji] [groom emoji]
Ginny: Ahahahahahahahahaahahaha
Ginny: [cake emoji]

[396]
Char, Percy, George, Bill, Ronnie
Charlie: I hate all of you
Percy: Oi no you don't
Charlie: Gin you're coming too
Charlie: And you, Ron
Ron: What why
Charlie: Spread the misery
Ginny: You know that won't work she's already met Padma and Blaise
Ron: What like she hasn't met Hermione????
Ginny: Not as CHARLIE'S GIRL
Charlie: Fuck I love the sound of that
George: Uh oh he's done for

[397]
Char, Percy, George, Bill, Ronnie
Percy: If anyone could slay a dragon it's Hermione
Ron: She would never
Ginny: She loves animals
Ginny: LOVES THEM
Ron: Calm yourself, Gin
George: Charlie your children will have Hagrid hair
Charlie: You take that back
Bill: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[398]
Blaise [flaming heart emoji]
Ginny: We have been summoned
Blaise: To...?
Ginny: Mum and dad's tonight
Blaise: For...?
Ginny: The Trials of Charlie
Blaise: Hahaha did she find out from the Prophet?
Ginny: YES
Ginny: HE FUCKED UP
Ginny: Should we bring popcorn?
Blaise: Your mum probably has some
Ginny: You're right
Ginny: I'm bringing wine
Ginny: White goes with popcorn

[399]
Padma
Ron: Hey baby
Ron: You free to come to mum and dad's tonight?
Padma: Sure, what's the occasion?
Ron: Charlie forgot to tell mum about Hermione and she learned it from Rita Skeeter
Padma: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Chapter Text

[400]
A screenshot from Ron's Instagram. It's a picture of Hermione messing with a record player, and he has captioned it thusly: "'I am not listening to Celestina Warbeck all night' this is the proof for when mum asks who dared." It is liked by ginandtonic, zabeans, and 64 others, and has 11 comments.

[401]
A screenshot from Ginny's Instagram. It's a picture of Charlie gazing lovingly at Hermione, who is barely in frame. Her hand is on his neck. Ginny has captioned it "LOOK!!!! AT THE WAY!!!!!!!!! HE LOOKS AT HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OHMYGOD CHARLIE'S DONE FOR" and it is liked by hebrideanred, roonilwazlib, and 654 others. It has 25 comments.

[402]
A screenshot from Ginny's Instagram. It's another photo of Charlie, this time seated outdoors and smiling broadly up at someone out of frame. She has captioned it "oh my GOD what the fuck he's so happy I'm gonna die." It is liked by bonnefoi, heartsease, and 452 others, and has 21 comments.

[403]
A screenshot from Hermione's Instagram. It's a host of Ginny sitting outside, her hair down, in a flannel shirt. She is looking, slightly amused, at the camera. Hermione has captioned it "if I make her pose for pictures she'll stop snapping incessant pics of me and Charlie." It is liked by parryhotter, zabeans, and 65 others, and has 4 comments.

[404]
Draco, Pansy, Red, Theo, Greg
Blaise: So an interesting thing came up at dinner tonight
Daphne: Interesting how?
Pansy: I'm curious tell me everything
Ginny: Haha
Draco: Dinner where?
Ginny: My parents' house
Theo: Hmmmmm
Blaise: Granger and her fine-ass boyfriend are trying to figure out how to buy a fuckload of land in Scotland and build a dragon reserve
Theo: Oh shit dragons!
Theo: I fucking love dragons!!!
Theo: I love fucking a dragon!

[405]
Draco, Pansy, Red, Theo, Greg
Greg: Aaaand there it is hahaha
Draco: FFS Theo
Theo: What it's your name
Draco: That's not... never mind
Pansy: THE POINT
Pansy: Please
Blaise: They need investors
Blaise: They need money and a board of governors who will keep the dragons' best interest in mind
Greg: Are they going to work with the Ministry?
Ginny: Hermione tried that first. They're not interested in the cost of startup and the potential tension with Germany.

[406]
Draco, Pansy, Red, Theo, Greg
Theo: Germany??
Draco: There's a little reserve in Bavaria.
Ginny: Yeah apparently that little reserve is trying to ruin the Romanian one
Blaise: The German and Romanian ministries are apparently completely corrupted
Blaise: In terms of dragonology and magical creatures funding at least
Ginny: You guys should've seen it, Charlie just let Hermione rant with hearts in his eyes
Daphne: Awww
Pansy: I bet it was a good rant, too
Blaise: I'm astonished the ministry didn't just hand her everything she wanted

[407]
Draco, Pansy, Red, Theo, Greg
Theo: Well maybe I will
Theo: What if the Theo Nott Dragon Reserve
Draco: Excuse you
Theo: The Nott-Malfoy Dragon Reserve
Draco: Better
Greg: Sounds like "not Malfoy"
Draco: Malfoy-Nott is alphabetical
Pansy: Oi what if I want it to be the Parkinson Preserve
Greg: Ahem
Blaise: Goyle-Malfoy-Nott-Parkinson is getting a little long there
Ginny: Hermione's going to cry

[408]
Draco, Pansy, Red, Theo, Greg
Ginny: I'm putting money down who wants to take bets
Blaise: I'm in
Theo: Same
Pansy: Yes
Draco: Absolutely
Greg: Why not

[409]
Pansy Parkinson
Pansy: Just picked up the cake, I'll be there in 10 minutes
Hermione: I thought Blaise was making one?
Pansy: There was apparently an incident
Hermione: ...
Pansy: Countertop sex and a wayward arm, as I understand
Hermione: Ah
Hermione: Well okay then
Pansy: Bet this one's prettier anyway
Hermione: I propped the door open to let out some of the smell from these decorations. They're beautiful but it seems like George still hasn't figured out the smell
Pansy: That's what he gets for modifying dungbombs
Hermione: That's what I said

[410]
A screenshot from Hermione's Instagram. It's a gathered group of hands holding drinks, and she has captioned it "To friends!" It is liked by livelavlove, zabeans, and 6,541 others. It has 54 comments.

[411]
A screenshot from Padma's Instagram. It's a picture of Neville Longbottom drinking straight from a wine bottle with a woman in shorts and combat boots slung over his shoulder. Padma has captioned it "@nevlongs put my sister down please omg" and it is liked by bookshanks, roonilwazlib, and 54 others. It has 17 comments.

[412]
A screenshot from Pansy's Instagram. It's of two women, heads out of frame; one is standing in black booties and the other is seated in socks and mary janes. The floor is covered in glitter. She has captioned it "good thing we know cleaning magic" and it has 12 comments. It has been liked by ginandtonic, livelavlove, and 645 others.

[413]
A screenshot from Blaise's Instagram. It's of Ginny, close-up, with damp hair and a bright red tongue, licking a lollipop. He has captioned it "champagne hair and candy tongue... my love is delicious" and it is liked by bookshanks, daphodil, and 514 others. It has 35 comments.

[414]
Hermione
Hermione: CHARLLIE
Hermione: ( HI))
Charlie: Are you drunk?
Charlie: (Hello)
Hermione: LTITLE BIT
Hermione: oosp caps
Hermione: [cap emoji] hahahahhhahahaha
Charlie: Haha you're definitely drunk
Hermione: Pnasy made gin drnka
Hermione: Drnka
Hermione: DRNIKS
Hermione: fuck it you know wt i mnea
Charlie: Please, I beg of you, have some water before you fall asleep
Hermione: I have smoe now!!!
Charlie: You're brilliant

[415]
Hermione: Ginnny and Blasie got us money adn I cried
Charlie: Wait what
Charlie: They got us funding??
Hermione: ALLLLLLLL OF IT CHALRIE
Hermione: THEO ADN DRAC OAND PAANSY DNA GREYLE
Hermione: I CNA TTYPE Cna I gjust call
Charlie: Of course you can

[416]
Gin
Hermione: Did I dream it
Ginny: Morning, drunkmione
Ginny: Did you dream what?
Hermione: The money
Hermione: The funding
Ginny: Not a dream! You've got a very interested group of wealthy friends, my darling
Ginny: My angel
Ginny: My future sister
Ginny: My precious unicorn
Hermione: I'm so hung over
Hermione: I'm going to did
Ginny: You aren't going to did
Hermione: Die
Ginny: You might do that

[417]
Pansy Parkinson
Pansy: Good morning, Hermione!
Hermione: This feels too cheerful
Hermione: Why are you so cheerful
Pansy: A girl can't be cheerful?
Hermione: ...did you shag Harry
Pansy: I most certainly did
Pansy: And I intend to again in a few minutes but he's in the loo so I have a moment to tell you the brilliant idea I just had
Hermione: Which is?

[418]
Pansy Parkinson
Pansy: A New Years Gala
Pansy: To fundraise for our dragon reserve
Pansy: I mean we're obviously your primary benefactors and your board of investors, but a gala will raise additional funds from elsewhere AND be a nice big dose of publicity
Hermione: You're thinking about all this while Harry's in the loo?
Pansy: Yes
Hermione: My kind of gal

[419]
Hermione
Hermione: Can you be here sometime next week? I want to get everyone together to officially outline what I need from people to get our idea turned into an actual organization with a board of investors and a treasury so that we can buy up that land as soon as possible
Hermione: (Hi)
Charlie: One sec
Charlie: (Hello)
Hermione: I was thinking maybe Thursday-Friday? But if something else is better the only thing that might conflict is Draco's schedule with the Cannons
Hermione: I think he said he's in Portree on Tuesday
Charlie: I can do Thursday-Friday

[420]
Hermione
Charlie: Also while I'm thinking about it, I was thinking I'd come the whole week of Christmas. Mum's been giving me hell for missing the last three AND now I have kissing you under every mistletoe in the house to look forward to.
Hermione: I'm not going to stop you
Hermione: Would you stay until New Year?
Charlie: I could probably manage that... why?
Hermione: Pansy suggested we throw a fundraising/public relations spectacle gala
Charlie: ...does that mean I have to wear formal clothing
Hermione: "Gala," Charlie
Hermione: Yes
Charlie: Maybe that's too long to be away from the reserve

[421]
Hermione: I'd be in a gown...
Hermione: Perhaps a red one...
Hermione: With some extremely tiny knickers underneath...
Charlie: You drive a hard bargain
Charlie: How tiny are we talking?
Hermione: So tiny. Wispy, even.
Charlie: Fine, I'll wear the stuffy things

[422]
Blaise [fire heart emoji]
Blaise: I miss you, post me a selfie
Ginny: Haha I've been gone like 3 hours
Blaise: So?
Blaise: I yearn for you
Blaise: I need you
Blaise: All the time
Blaise: I don't know where you keep the ice mice
Ginny: Hahahahahahaha
Ginny: Go look at insta, you mushy man
Blaise: I am not mushy
Blaise: I am romantic
Ginny: You don't miss me, you just want ice mice
Blaise: Can't I want both?
Blaise: Fuck you're gorgeous. Get back here fast

[423]
A screenshot of Ginny's Instagram. She's making a kissy face at the camera with her hair thrown over one shoulder. The background is sunny and tropical. She has captioned it: "fact: @zabeans literally cannot live without me [winking kiss emoji]; [camera emoji]: @daphodil" and it has 12 comments. It is liked by heartsease, zabeans, and 645 others.

[424]
A screenshot from Pansy's Instagram. It's of Daphne hugging a palm tree and sticking one leg out from the other side. She's smiling widely. Pansy has captioned it "@daphodil being her usual wild self" and it is liked by ginandtonic, zabeans, and 46 others. It has 7 comments.

[425]
A screenshot of Daphne's Instagram. It's a pic of Pansy in a black & white bikini and sunglasses, looking down, her hair blowing in the wind off the back of a boat. She has captioned it "It's @heartsease! in the [sun emoji] hahaha this spontaneous portkey adventure with @ginandtonic is the best idea we've had yet" and it has 2 comments. It's liked by bookshanks, parryhotter, and 15 others.

[426]
Gin
Hermione: Where did you go???
Ginny: Portugal!
Hermione: What's in Portugal?
Ginny: Sunshine, beaches, colorful drinks
Ginny: Pans and Daph and I were sitting in that little cafe where B&B used to be this morning and it's all rainy and terrible, so we thought "fuck it, let's go somewhere sunny" and Daph got a portkey
Hermione: Just like that??
Ginny: Just like that!
Ginny: A day in the sun and we'll be back in time for dinner
Hermione: Ridiculous
Ginny: You should buy a spontaneous portkey
Ginny: To Romania
Hermione: Maybe I will

[427]
Hermione
Hermione: I have a surprise for you
Hermione: (Hi)
Charlie: A surprise?
Charlie: (Hello)
Hermione: She's soft and fluffy
Hermione: And very sweet
Hermione: And not a huge fan of international portkey travel, it turns out
Charlie: ...wait
Hermione: I brought her with me!
Charlie: Are you here??
Hermione: Walking over from the arrival zone now [winking kiss emoji]
Charlie: What did I do to deserve you
Hermione: You were you, that's all it took
Hermione: Knock knock let me in

[428]
A screenshot from Charlie's Instagram. It's a picture of rumples in an iron barred stone window, and Charlie has captioned it "Hey @ginandtonic even Rumples got here before you." It has 1 comment and is liked by bookshanks, roonilwazlib, and 4 others.

[429]
A screenshot from Hermione's Instagram. It's of her, lying on her side on some bedding, looking moody, clearly naked. She has captioned it "[camera emoji] @hebrideanred" and it has 45 comments. It is liked by livelavlove, parryhotter, and 5,214 others.

[430]
A screenshot of Charlie's Instagram. It's of Hermione, from behind, naked, in a body of water with a cascading waterfall. Charlie has captioned it "Took the girlfriend to the spring. Love her sense of adventure. Love her." It has 5 comments. It's liked by ginandtonic, roonilwazlib, and 8 others.

[431]
A screenshot of Hermione's Instagram. It's a picture of Charlie, looking at the camera, lying in a grass field. Hermione has captioned it "I think I fell asleep and woke up in a romance novel. I'm in love with a dragon keeper. A sexy tattooed redheaded dragon keeper who can pick me up with one arm like I'm made of air. Swooning constantly. [heart eyes emoji]." It has 25 comments. It is liked by ginandtonic, Hebrideanred, and 457 others.

[432]
A screenshot from Hermione's Instagram. It's a picture of Lionel sleeping with Rumples sitting on his paws. Hermione has captioned it "oh my GOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDD LIONEL AND RUMPLES [7 heart eyes emojis]" and it has 76 comments. It's liked by hebrideanred, livelavlove, and 647 others.

[433]
A screenshot of Charlie's Instagram. It's of Hermione, arms over her head, in a shower with a colorful t-shirt on. Charlie has captioned it "maybe she doesn't need to go back to England? What if she just stays wherever I am all the time?" and it has 2 comments. It's liked by parryhotter, roonilwazlib, and 5 others.

[434]
A screenshot from Hermione's Instagram. It's a picture of Charlie, looking moodily off-frame, with his hand over his shoulder. Hermione has captioned it "I told him if I can take a moody black and white pic of him then I'll let him post the one he wants to post. APPARENTLY I can just order him around. Love that for me." and it has 25 comments. It is liked by ginandtonic, livelavlove, and 674 others.

[435]
A screenshot from Charlie's Instagram. It's of Hermione, clad in nothing but a very small pair of leopard-print knickers, lying over a pillow on white bedding, her hair in her face. Charlie has captioned it "She made me a deal. I wanted to show her off." It has 6 comments, and is liked by bookshanks, ginandtonic, and 6 others.

[436]
Gin, Lav, Padma, Parvati
Lavender: HERMIONE JEAN
Parvati: ARE THOSE LEOPARD KNICKERS
Ginny: OH MY GOD DID YOU SAY THE L WORD
Padma: Ron yelped like his phone was on fire hahahahaha
Ginny: HAHAHAHAHA
Hermione: Oh come on he's seen it all
Lavender: ANSWER OUR QUESTIONS

[437]
Gin, Lav, Padma, Parvati
Hermione: In no particular order, sort out for yourselves: yes, yes, what
Ginny: HE LOVES YOUUUUU
Ginny: YOU LOVE HIIIIIMMMMMMMM
Lavender: Ginny's planning a wedding
Parvati: Just like her mum
Ginny: I—
Hermione: HAHAHAHAHA
Padma: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[438]
Char, Percy, George, Bill, Ronnie
George: Good Godric Hermione's fit
George: How did I not know that
Charlie: Oi
Ron: Oi
Charlie: You must be blind
Ginny: I was about to say
Bill: She's a beautiful young woman, congratulations Charlie
Charlie: Why can't you be more like Bill, George?
Percy: Why are we talking about Hermione's looks
Ginny: If you'd get an Instagram you'd know
Percy: For the last time I don't need an instagram

[439]
Char, Percy, George, Bill, Ronnie
Ron: You really don't
George: Waste of time really
George: But you'd get to see Hermione's arse
Charlie: Oi
Ron: You're the one that posted it
Bill: What's an Instagram?
Ginny: Wait I thought you had one
Ginny: Didn't you just remark on the photo?
Bill: I didn't see a photo. I just know what Hermione looks like.
Ron: We do all have eyes, Gin
George: Speak for yourself

[440]
Char, Percy, George, Bill, Ronnie
Percy: Left one with your ear, did you?
Ginny: HA
Charlie: Good one Perce
Ron: I can't believe she let you post that pic
Charlie: She's the one who suggested it
Charlie: She says I'm a good photographer

[441]
Char, Percy, George, Bill, Ronnie
Ron: She must really love you
Charlie: Good thing 'cause I'm arse over teakettle
Ginny: We know
George: You're not subtle
Bill: It was a bit obvious
Percy: CHARLIE'S IN LOVE??
Charlie: Oi

Chapter Text

I do not consent to this story being reposted or archived outside of AO3 in any format. I do not consent to translations or transformative works. The amount of effort that goes into making these graphics and transcribing them for accessibility is enough that I do not want to see it altered in any way. Read it on AO3 or don't read it. Do not bind it. If you are reading this in a PDF or ebook format that you got from anywhere other than your own personal export from AO3, it was put there without my consent as the author, and does not have my blessing. Know that there are people in this fandom that treat authors as less than nothing and take our works and manipulate them for profit and gain, and who are ultimately the reason that good artists and authors leave and do not return. Please have the bare minimum of compassion and respect our wishes on how our creative works are presented to the world.

[442]
A screenshot from Harry's Instagram. It's a picture of Pansy, hair messy, lying on the bed in a white t-shirt that looks decidedly borrowed. He has captioned it "I like her." It has been liked by heartsease, zabeans, and 78,461 others, and has 824 comments.

[443]
Ron, Harry [shamrock emoji]
Harry: Sooooooooooooooo
Ron: Soooooooooo?
Hermione: ???
Harry: So the eldest son of the Romanian politician helping slash the dragon funding?
Ron: ...
Harry: He's gone missing
Ron: What
Hermione: Uhh
Hermione: That's probably not good
Ron: I mean it hasn't got anything to do with you

[444]
Ron, Harry [shamrock emoji]
Harry: No but until he's found it's going to be a distraction
Harry: And if he ISN'T found, well... there's going to be speculation
Hermione: Ugh I'm going to have to get on Rita Skeeter's good side aren't I
Hermione: How the fuck am I even supposed to do that
Harry: I don't know but if shit goes sideways you don't want her siding against you
Hermione: Yeah I know
Hermione: Fuck

[445]
Ron, Harry [shamrock emoji]
Ron: You back from Romania yet?
Hermione: No
Hermione: Charlie says hi
Hermione: And also "fuck you now she's agitated"
Ron: Do not expand upon that I beg you
Harry: HAhahaha hi Charlie

[446]
Reserve Planning
Hermione: Hello everyone! If you've expressed interest in helping me and Charlie get this UK Dragon reserve made into a reality, you're here. Thank you so, so much, and if you aren't interested after all, just say so and I won't hold it against you.
Theo: I will
Theo: I'll do all the grudge holding for both of us, Granger
George: I like that energy, who are you?
Hermione: Right yes, you may want to make introductions
Hermione: You all know me, I'm Hermione
Theo: Theo Nott, at your service
Blaise: Blaise here
Pansy: Pansy!

[447]
Reserve Planning
Charlie: Charlie
George: George Fabian Weasley, entrepreneur and most handsome Weasley here
Hermione: Disagree
Charlie: Hahaha
George: You're biased
Blaise: Also disagree
Draco: Draco here and I also disagree
Greg: Greg
Greg: And Ginny's the pretty one
Theo: No, Charlie is
Hermione: Oh, Merlin. This is the end of my phone battery, isn't it?

[448]
Reserve Planning
Hermione: (Also Charlie gets my vote)
Pansy: The cursebreaker is the pretty one
Theo: PANSY????
George: omg bill has fans???
Charlie: Of course he does
George: You don't count, you've had big brother stars in your eyes from the day you were born
Hermione: Aww
Theo: Hahaha you're worse than me, Charlie
Charlie: Meaning?
Blaise: Theo's the biggest simp on the planet

[449]
Reserve Planning
Charlie: ...what's a simp?
Hermione: Oh Merlin
Hermione: You're not a simp
Pansy: Technically neither is Theo
Blaise: It's about the energy
Greg: Says the man who turns to treacle any time Ginny Weasley so much as blinks
Draco: My poor phone
George: We are merely cats for Hermione to wrangle
Charlie: I want all of you to know she just sighed very loudly and put the phone down and walked out of the room

[450]
Ron, Harry [shamrock emoji]
Ron: Oi Hermione
Ron: I got cornered by Rita Skeeter this afternoon
Hermione: [jar emoji]
Harry: Hahahahahahaha
Ron: I tried to run off as fast as I could but she did manage to get me to yell at her to leave her nose out of your relationship first
Hermione: Well I thank you for that, I guess
Ron: She's definitely snooping though
Harry: What else would she do
Harry: At least if she's snooping about Hermione then she's taking a break from snooping about me and Pansy
Hermione: I wonder if I can use that curiosity of hers to my advantage, actually

[451]
Ron, Harry [shamrock emoji]
Harry: What
Ron: What
Hermione: Hahaha Charlie also just said "what" so you're all on the same page at least
Hermione: But I think maybe if I let her have an interview I might be able to talk about the benefits of having a reserve in the UK and talk up the gala Pansy wants to throw for New Year. Get people interested.
Harry: And you think she won't twist it badly?
Ron: Maybe we can go with
Ron: Give her a Golden Trio exclusive
Harry: Ehhhhhhhh
Hermione: It's not the worst idea

[452]
Ron, Harry [shamrock emoji]
Hermione: She'll ask about our love lives but if we're all talking about many things she can't spend the whole article on any one thing
Harry: I guess
Ron: This way you can keep her from mentioning Pansy's dad again
Harry: Yeah she didn't like that
Hermione: I don't blame her
Hermione: Anyway, think about it. Charlie and I will be at mine tomorrow
Ron: He's coming with?
Hermione: He'd already planned to be there Thursday, it's my part of this that was a spontaneous adventure
Harry: Pimpleton must be so worried. Hermione Granger took multiple days off work! Consecutively!

[453]
Ron, Harry [shamrock emoji]
Ron: OH, THE HUMANITY
Hermione: Shut up lol

[454]
A screenshot from Ginny's Instagram. It's a picture of Blaise in a black button-down whispering into Theo's ear behind his hand. She has commented, "He's telling @nottyboy secrets but all I can think about is those hands [eyes emoji]". It has 13 comments, and has been liked by bonnefoi, daphodil, and 64 others.

[455]
A screenshot from Blaise's Instagram. It's Ginny, lounging in a white deck chair, wearing a skinny black top and a suede skirt. She has a glass in one hand, and she's giving Blaise a flirty look. He has captioned it "...she knows what she's doing." It has 3 comments, and is liked by daphodil, nottyboy, and 14 others.

[456]
Draco, Pansy, Red, Theo, Greg
Greg: Petition to make Blaise and Ginny get the fuck out of here before they shag on the dining room table
Daph: Seconded
Theo: I'd watch it
Draco: ...same
Pansy: Salazar... I'm putting the liquor away
Ginny: Don't you dare
Blaise: No one's watching
Theo: But you're both so FIT
Pansy: Theo
Pansy: No

[457]
Draco, Pansy, Red, Theo, Greg
Draco: Theo yes
Greg: Okay petition for Draco and Theo to gtfo

[458]
Char, Percy, George, Bill, Ronnie
George: Charlie are you seriously in town again without telling mum
Percy: Why does she keep sending you to yell at him
Bill: Because I refuse every time
Char: I thank you for this
Ginny: You never tell her anything
Ron: He's hardly the only one
Ron: She's intense
Percy: What? OUR mum?
Percy: Intense?
Bill: Never
Bill: Proper saint, Molly Weasley

[459]
Char, Percy, George, Bill, Ronnie
Ron: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Ginny: I'm telling mum you laughed
Ron: I'm telling her your boyfriend posts filthy things about you on the internet for everyone to read
Ginny: He does not!
Ron: He IMPLIES
Ginny: Charlie posted Hermione naked!
Charlie: Don't drag me into this
George: YOU STARTED THIS
Bill: Technically you did, George
George: TECHNICALLY you're a git
Ron: Hahahahaha

[460]
Char, Percy, George, Bill, Ronnie
Ginny: Talk to mum, Char, or she'll barge through Hermione's floo
Charlie: Tell her she should think twice about that
Ron: Why
Ron: WAIT DON'T
Charlie: It's been some time since she's seen my bare arse
Ron: I said don't
Ginny: Hahahahahaha

[461]
Reserve Planning
Hermione: Okay I have the paperwork for the land purchases, the documents we need to organize as a business entity, and Charlie's got copies of the documentation from the Romanian reserve covering provenance of the dragons themselves
Hermione: Is everyone free to gather tonight or tomorrow? I'm off work, and Charlie's here.
George: Evenings work for me, tonight should be fine
Blaise: Free as a bird
Pansy: Same
Greg: I'm good tonight
Theo: We are too
Theo: You can all come here, we have the space

[462]
Reserve Planning
Hermione: Thank you!
Draco: 8 a good time?
Hermione: Sure
Greg: Yup
Blaise: Yes
Blaise: Gin wants to come, that cool?
Charlie: Of course it is

[463]
Charlie [heart emoji]
Charlie: You okay over there?
Hermione: My head's starting to hurt
Hermione: We're doing good work here
Charlie: I think we're near a good stopping point
Hermione: It's just so much
Charlie: Everyone in this room is a capable and competent person. Delegate.
Hermione: I already know the ins and outs of all this though
Charlie: And they can learn
Charlie: You are not running yourself into the ground to do this
Charlie: I won't let you
Hermione: It's what I do

[464]
Charlie [heart emoji]
Hermione: It's what I do
Charlie: Not this time
Charlie: Delegate, let's wrap this up, and we'll go back to yours and take care of that headache
Hermione: Is that so?
Charlie: Orgasms are great for headaches
Hermione: You're insatiable
Charlie: Is that a complaint?
Hermione: Absolutely not
Hermione: Merely an observation
Charlie: Do not take that bank item
Charlie: Give that to Draco
Charlie: Merlin woman don't make me do the delegating

[465]
A screenshot from Charlie's Instagram. It's a close-up of Hermione, looking at him from behind a curled fist, in a flirty way. He has captioned it "She's the smartest woman in any room and she's all mine." It has 1 comment and has been liked by bookshanks, ginandtonic, and 4 others.

Chapter Text

[466]
A screenshot from Hermione's Instagram. It's a picture of Charlie holding a wine glass toward her, his forehead crinkled as he makes puppy eyes at her. She has captioned it "The puppy eyes I can't I CAN'T" and it has 7 comments. It has been liked by ginandtonic, roonilwazlib, and 35 others.

[467]
A screenshot from Ginny's Instagram. It's a photo of Arthur Weasley kissing Molly Weasley on the cheek, and she smiles cheerily. She has captioned it "they're too cute [2 heart-eyes emojis]" and it has 4 comments. It is liked by Hebrideanred, roonilwazlib, and 35 others.

[468]
A screenshot of Ron's Instagram. It's a photo of Charlie, hair mussed, and in a houserobe. He is holding up two cupcakes and looking smug. Ron has captioned it "He gets away with murder, mum plays favorites. HE IS IN A DRESSING GOWN AND PILFERING CUPCAKES and she says "oh Charlie dear don't forget to ask Hermione if she'd prefer earl grey or Darjeeling with breakfast" just what. the. fuck. I'd have lost a bloody ear."

[469]
A screenshot of Padma's Instagram. It's a picture of Ron, looking to the left, his hair swept and his jaw stubbled. He is in his suit and tie with his uniform coat on, the collar popped up against the wind. She has captioned it "Ron gets ready for work, I get ready to NOT USE MY BRAIN ALL DAY he's just so [3 heart-eyes emojis]." It has 1 comment and is liked by parhottie, roonilwazlib, and 6 others.

[470]
A screenshot from Pansy's Instagram. It's a photo of Harry, stubbled jaw and concerned look on his face, running his hand through his hair. He has a waistcoat on and his sleeves rolled up, chest hair peeking out of his shirt, and she has captioned it "'Pans have you seen my tie' not while you're looking like THAT while searching for it dear merlin" and it has 4 comments. It is liked by bonnefoi and 45 others.

[471]
A screenshot from Blaise's Instagram. It's an extreme closeup of him and Ginny, lips touching, eyes closed. It is cropped closely and includes their noses and chins. It's black and white. He has captioned it "this is probably the fiftieth take but WORTH IT [kissing wink emoji]" and it has 6 comments. It has been liked by heartsease, nottyboy, and 45 others.

[472]
A screenshot of Daphne's Instagram. It's a picture of Draco, face in his hands, pouty expression on his face, and glasses pushed up onto his forehead. She has captioned it "what a drama queen" and it has 4 comments. It is liked by nottyboy, zabeans, and 14 others.

[473]
To: My Love
Charlie: Does it ever stop?
Hermione: What?
Charlie: The wanting you
Hermione: Charlie
Charlie: I've only just left you and I want you so much it's all I can think about
Charlie: I feel it in my chest
Hermione: I love you too
Hermione: I'll see you again soon
Charlie: I love you so much

[474]
A screenshot of the Daily Prophet Twitter account.
@dailyprophet Your Most Beloved Source for News and Entertainment
(In order of posting)
Is your broom shed in need of an update? Pick up Monday's Prophet for a chance to win an overhaul courtesy of Quality Quidditch Supplies!
SPOTTED: Blaise Zabini and Daphne Greengrass entering Gringott's together! Might he be sneaking around on Harpies Chaser Ginny Weasley?
EXCLUSIVE: our own Rita Skeeter has nabbed an interview with the Golden Trio: Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, and Ronald Weasley! Pick up Friday's special edition for the whole story!

[475]
To: Daphne, Pansy
Daphne: I'm going to murder Rita Skeeter
Daphne: I have gotten so many howlers
Pansy: Anyone who knows Blaise knows it's all rubbish
Ginny: Return to sender, love
Daphne: Can you do that with howlers?
Pansy: Theo worked out a way! Ask him. He always sent his father's howlers back and then got more and more of them and just kept doing it
Ginny: OMG DID HE REALLY
Daphne: brb texting Theo

[476]
To: Draco, Pansy, Red, Theo, Greg
Blaise: HARPIES VS CANNONS THIS SUNDAY WHERE ARE WE SITTING
Daphne: Not next to each other that's for sure
Pansy: Fuck Skeeter, seriously
Ginny: It's on, Malfoy
Draco: I'm going to catch the snitch before you even score a single point, Weselette
Theo: Are we officially taking bets
Greg: I'm in
Greg: Five galleons on Draco
Blaise: Ten on Red
Pansy: You can't make me bet in front of them Theo

[477]
[cat emoji] [lightning emoji] [plant emoji] [chess emoji]
Ginny: Oi you lot
Neville: Oi wot
Harry: Oi
Ron: Oi
Hermione: Wot
Ginny: Harpies v Cannons on Sunday
Harry: Already got the box
Neville: We'll have bells on
Hermione: Hooray Harpies!
Ginny: Hahaha okay
Harry: Ron's going to be cheering against you

[478]
[cat emoji] [lightning emoji] [plant emoji] [chess emoji]
Ginny: You should go sit with Blaise then
Ron: Where will they be?
Ginny: I think Draco got them a box on the Cannons side
Ron: THE CANNONS TEAM BOX??
Ginny: Hahaha have we lost him
Harry: Think so
Hermione: Yeah you can't take that back
Neville: I'll go with, Ron, if it helps
Ginny: TRAITOR

[479]
A screenshot of Rita Skeeter's Instagram. It's a professional shot of Ron in a leather jacket, sweeping his hair back. She has captioned it "Auror Ronald Weasley, war hero. See Friday's special edition of the Daily Prophet for my exclusive interview!" It has 7,794 comments and is liked by amdap, parryhotter, and 461,572 others.

[480]
A screenshot of Rita Skeeter's Instagram. It's a professional photo of Harry seated in a blue leather jacket, looking directly into the camera. She has captioned it "The Boy Who Lived, Auror Harry Potter. See Friday's special edition for my exclusive interview and see where the savior of the wizarding world is now!" It has 24,657 comments and has been liked by bookshanks, heartsease, and 1,456,237 others.

[481]
A screenshot of Rita Skeeter's Instagram. It's a professional photo of Hermione, against a tree in a black wool coat, her hair being blown by the wind to frame her face. Rita has captioned it "The Golden Girl, Hermione Granger. Pick up Friday's special edition of the Daily Prophet for my exclusive interview!" It has 15,442 comments and has been liked by hebrideanred, parryhotter, and 864,523 others.

[482]
A screenshot of the Daily Prophet Twitter account. Its most recent tweet reads: "A little birdie has informed us that Chudley Cannons seeker Draco Malfoy has claimed the players box for his friends and family for this weekend's match against the Holyhead Harpies! Which team will Blaise Zabini root for?"

[483]
A screenshot of Ginny's private twitter
red @andtonic: who wants to help me hide a body [quote tweeting the Daily Prophet]

[484]
Comments to Ginny's post:
hjg @biblione: i'm there
parv @hottieparvati: I'll bring the shovel
ron @wonaldreasley: Harry and I see nothing
nev @midsides: I know some good plants that'll hide a body for you
luna @dublunes: oh dear
ocard @badfaith: there are potions that will vanish anything

[485]
A screenshot from Blaise's Instagram. It's a picture of Ginny smiling at the camera with the sun shining off her hair. He has captioned it "She knows how I feel. But just to make it perfectly clear: I'm so in love with Ginevra Weasley that my patronus outshines the sun (it's a stallion, by the way)." It's got 13 comments and has been liked by ginandtonic, roonilwazlib, and 451 others.

[486]
To: My Love
Charlie: That picture of you on Rita Skeeter's Instagram is lovely
Charlie: (Hello)
Hermione: Thank you! Her people took so many... it seemed excessive
Hermione: (Hi)
Charlie: It's a pleasure to take pictures of you
Charlie: I would know
Hermione: Haha yours are not fit for Instagram half the time
Charlie: I don't need to share them to enjoy them
Hermione: You can put the ones that don't show anything a swimsuit would cover. Just let me see them first, like last time.
Charlie: Noted
Charlie: How's the land purchase coming along?

[487]
To: My Love
Hermione: Draco is AMAZING, he has the deal completely under his control
Hermione: Pansy and Greg got in touch with privately contracted cursebreakers they know to make sure the Ministry doesn't pull some sort of bureaucratic delay on us
Charlie: Sounds like things are actually moving
Charlie: I spoke with Gio last night over pints, he wants to help with the dragon transfers when we get to that. And I've got two Scottish keepers here who want to move home.
Hermione: It feels so real now. I'm so worried something will happen and ruin it all.
Charlie: Well don't let your nerves carry you away. We're doing everything through proper channels.

[488]
To: My Love
Hermione: It's the dragons I'm most nervous about. What if Romania's ministry tries to argue they own the creatures themselves?
Charlie: Why do you think I made all those copies?
Charlie: The dragons belong to the reserve, their purchase and trade is authorized by the head keeper. That's Gio.

[489]
To: My Love
Hermione: And he's for sure on our team?
Charlie: For sure. He's as angry as I am about all the politics and sabotage.
Hermione: Okay
Hermione: Okay
Charlie: I can practically see you pacing
Charlie: Take a breath and have a cuppa
Hermione: I'm fine
Charlie: Should I call?
Hermione: If you like

[490]
To: Reserve Planning
Charlie: Oi one of you lot go over to Hermione's with a bottle of red and make her stop working for a few hours
Hermione: I'm fine!!
Pansy: On it
Theo: [saluting emoji]
Draco: pinot noir or cab, granger?
Hermione: I said I'm fine
Charlie: Sangiovese if you have it
Blaise: I do