Chapter Text
I was 5 when it first started.
I was 5 when I truly sang for the first time{when my voice had first enchanted others, the praise was non stop for days and I was so pleased, so excited… I wouldn’t stay happy for long}, 5 when I became fascinated with the gods from my mothers stories{when I became entranced with the sea and sun and moon and love and so, so, so many others}, 5 when I realized that I wanted to Worship these deities {and isn’t that just crazy? I was 5 and already so enchanted by these deities, I loved them… I was 5 when I started making tiny offerings, and small prayers, and miniature altars- nothing with fire though, not yet}, 5 when I had my first Dream {5 when I woke up screaming because My Her-Our sight was filled with green Green GREEN TOO MUCH SO MUCH GREEN TOO MANY VISIONS NO NO NO HERMES HELP ME- this isn’t how it was meant to be I- She- We- They was- are- is- the Ȍ̰̲̓R̶̢̼̞̫̉̕A̦C̶̢̟͖ͣ͢L̗É̵̪̏ͤͥ͋!, 5 when I woke up screaming and crying because of a curse, and an oracle, and a mother, and a god, and a boy whose fate would be so entwined with mine that neither of our strings would be able to untangle until the very end until it was too late}. I was only 5{I was too young}.
Then I was 7.
I was 7 when I finally realized that I couldn’t indulge in music {when I realized that HE would hear me if I sang, when I realized that the voice of a s- …that the voice of someone like me could never be heard, not if I wanted to stay hidden}, I was 7 when I tossed the word ‘art’ from my vocabulary {when I realized that my mother could never see my drawings, not the true ones anyway, it was too dangerous}, 7 when I decided to tell no one about my dreams {when I decided that I would never suffer a seer’s that kind of fate and my mother would never be dragged down with me even if I did}, when I forced myself away from the sea, away from my gods {when I became fearful of Apollo’s rage, terrified of Aphrodite’s temper, Petrified when thinking of Artemis’ wrath, Horrified at the idea of what could happen if Poseidon was really my father No, I don’t need to think of that because it isn’t true. It’s NOT. Who cares if mamá is worried that I no longer love the beach, it doesn’t matter, I’m just being cautious}. I was 7 when I taught myself that cloudy days are my friend {To be seen by the Sun or the Moon would mean allowing him to know my sight, I would love the help but it isn’t worth it, not in most myths anyway. No matter how much it hurts me to stay away from the sunseanature. I will not suffer, not like Cassandra or Halcyon Green or May Castellan or so, so, so many others- I just won’t}, 7 when I realized that music was no longer safe for me {Drawing wasn’t either but I couldn’t bring myself to give up the only relief I had from the dreams}. 7 When I learned Sign Language out of necessity because sometimes my words would come out a little too knowing {keep from his sight, don’t let him hear me, hide it all always}. I was only 7{I was too young}.
Then I was 9.
I was 9 and running from monsters, from the past, from the future {from my very fate}. 9 and too scared to speak or show my drawings or try to interact with my visions{too scared to interact with people, terrified of seeing their futures, of being unable to save them… it’s not time for friends anyway, I just know it}. 9 when I watched as a girl{the daughter of Zeus my cousin, my sister, died on a hill, a hill I would come to know intimately A hill that so many would die on, my sister did not sacrifice herself for THIS!} 9 when I became scared and Skittish and would hardly leave my mothers side… I was only 9 {I was too young}.
Then I was 12.
I was 12 and have never had a friend{I just know that I’ll make some great ones eventually, ones that want me in my entirety friends that would give me back my voice, oh how I’ve missed my voice}, 12 and I haven’t spoken a word in 5 years {I miss speaking, I miss singing, I miss my voice… I’d always had such a beautiful voice, I know that mom misses it too no matter how many times she lies and says that it’s okay to stay quiet if I wanted to… It always makes me feel worse for lying to her, for keeping secrets}, I was 12 and the only person I ever really “talked” to was my mother {She’s the only one that was always there… the only one that I would always have that knew sign language, she had learned for me after all}, 12 when I had the dreams of a doomed quest {he should have waited, if he had gone on that quest a year later he would have succeeded, fate would have gone down a different path a safer path, a Kinder path. I watch as his fatal flaw, as his wrath, blinds him}, 12 when I realized that there was going to be a change {It was in the air, in the very foundation of the universe… Fate… She calls… I don’t want to answer. So I won’t. Not yet, anyway, it’s not time yet}, I was 12 when I watched a boy{Luke Castellan my mentor, my friend, My Tormentor} gain a scar, 12 as I watched two others fall in battle {A daughter of Hermes, Luke’s favorite and at the time only sister, and the eldest son of Dionysus, Luke’s Lover. Dionysus was so… upset, he grieved, and when the twins came he grew protective and possessive and distant all at once. He could not suffer another loss like the one he just had. Not with the twins, his and Ariadne’s no matter how mortal their birth mother was, not so soon}. I was only 12 {I was still too young}
But when I was 14? That is when everything really changed, when I finally found out for sure what {who} I was… That is when my life {and this story} truly began. {Still so young, too young… will I ever not be too young? Why…?}
Do you believe yourself capable of escape, μικρή πριγκίπισσα της θάλασσας (little princess of the sea), do you believe that you can circumvent fate μικρή ηρωίδα (Little Heroine)? Or perhaps you wish to subvert it, μικρή προφήτισσα (little prophetess)? You may try, but what if you make it worse? Will it have been worth it to save those you love? {Loyal little heroine, perfect little princess, beloved little prophetess... Will your family ties protect you? Do they love you as you do them? Can they?}