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Even out here in the middle of nowhere on Mina Rau, Bix still hears the news about the Empire’s fall. The Rebellion won. They actually won.
Their fight was worth it. Everything they did, everything it cost was worth it in the end. She can find Cassian again. Or can she? Because there’s been a silent part of her that’s felt for years that’s known something was wrong. But in the face of hearing about this victory, Bix doesn’t want to let herself think about that yet. This is the day she’s been waiting for.
She’s taking steps to prepare to leave the planet herself to get into contact with the Rebellion again when she sees an unfamiliar shuttle coming in to land. Her first thought is that it’s Cassian, Cassian or Wilmon but she isn’t entirely surprised to see Kleya get off the ship.
She looks…. different. She always carried herself with so much confidence, when Bix knew her. Not that she isn’t now but something about her just looks emptier. War takes it out of everyone eventually, she knows. She felt that on herself once too.
“Kleya?” Bix asks, going up to her, “It’s good to see you again.”
Kleya smiles a little. “You too, Bix. I wanted to come long ago, but…”
“The fight kept… happening?” she guesses, nodding, “I assume there’s a lot you want to catch me up on.”
Kleya’s face grows a little graver, and that’s when Bix feels the first sudden dip in her mood. “Yes, I do. A lot’s happened.”
She doesn’t know why it’s that the makes her feel the first sharp pulse of fear, a sudden creeping dread gnawing its way through her. “Cassian?”
The way Kleya’s face falls makes Bix’s heart skip a beat. “That’s what’s going to be the hardest to hear, Bix. He’s… gone.”
She stills.
He – he’s…?
Yeah, she knew somewhere deep inside that he was always destined for something more, the one to make everything change, and she how easily that could mean death but she somehow never thought it would actually happen.
After the war, they were supposed to get to do everything they always wanted. Everything Cassian had once been about to leave the Rebellion for.
He’s gone.
Dead.
Like Brasso, like – so many.
And she’s never going to see him again. She feels light-headed, faint. She knew something happened to him. She’s known it for years. Probably shouldn’t have tried to force herself to cling onto the denial for so long, but she didn’t know what else to do because she couldn’t just up and leave with her child to go out looking for him. Keeping the child safe mattered more than anything else.
“I’m sorry,” Kleya tells her softly, hand touching her arm.
Bix nods a little, head still spinning. “Wilmon?” she asks faintly.
“He’s okay.”
She feels a small flicker of relief even though it’s hard to feel much of anything right now. “What… how did it happen?”
“I’m sure you heard the rumors about the Death Star, even out here,” Kleya replies.
Bix nods slowly. She’s heard a little about it, mostly the rebellion exposing that these things that were supposedly research stations the Rebellion destroyed as a terrorist attack were actually planet destroying monsters.
“The Rebellion would have lost, if not for him,” Kleya explains, “The Death Star nearly destroyed our base, as it was. He died getting the Rebellion the plans – we would never have made it otherwise.”
It’s like… It is like what Bix always knew, on some level. That the Rebellion would have failed without him. It’s too early to say that – that she can understand why this happened. It’s not a grief she’s ever going to be able to let go of, but… She can still try to find the tiniest bit of solace in the fact that if not for that, everyone in the Rebellion would’ve died.
Yeah, her and Cassian might’ve had years together, years she’s going to forever regret not getting to spend with him, but the Empire would’ve found them eventually. They would’ve destroyed everything just like they have so many times over. There was… no other way out of this, was there?
“Luthen died for it too,” Kleya speaks up quietly, eyes haunted, “So many died.”
Luthen?
She never thought to ask. She should have. He’s always seemed so impossible to get hurt. But the news that he’s gone feels far less shocking somehow. Maybe on some level, she knew that would happen too – that he was the kind who go down in a blasé of glory for the Rebellion.
“I’m sorry,” Bix tells her.
Kleya nods a little, looking away.
That’s why she looks so empty, Bix realizes belatedly. She doesn’t really know what Kleya and Luthen’s relationship was like but she definitely seemed to be the only person he was close with. It’s…
She lays her hand on the other woman’s arm, the most comfort she can really offer. She still can’t believe that Cassian’s dead. That moment she walked away, she never thought it would be the last time she ever saw him. Even if on some horrible level deep inside, something had felt so final about that. She’d tried to convince herself it was just because of all the time they were going to spend apart. That it wasn’t… this.
“Cassian’s never going to know,” Bix says softly, “That he was a father.”
Kleya’s eyes widen a little. “He is?”
She nods. “Come. I can take you to meet him.”
Kleya follows her across the field, towards the waiting house.
Bee is the first to find them, rolling up. “W-w-where’s C-cassian?” it asks, and Bix thinks it’s got to somehow already sense the answer.
“Bee,” she says, crouching in front of the droid, “He’s…”
“You s-s-said he would c-c-come back,” the droid protests.
“That’s because it’s what I always wanted to believe too.” Her heart aches sharply, guttingly. It hurts too much for tears. Maybe it’s just that the shock hasn’t fully faded yet.
Bee rolls away, miserably protesting. That the droid is so upset makes it hurt even worse. It never even got a goodbye.
“Brasso?” Bix calls.
She hears a squeal and moments later, the three-year-old boy runs out of the house. “Mommy!” he squeals, running up to her. She picks him up, swallowing past the sudden tears stinging her eyes.
He looks so much like Cassian, even now.
“Brasso, this is Kleya. A friend,” she says.
“Hi,” the boy chirps, staring at her.
Kleya smiles a little. “Hey.”
Bix sets him back down as Bee comes rolling over.
“That was one of your friends who died. Brasso,” Kleya comments.
“He was,” Bix agrees. Another ache that never fades. “Cassian and I never had the chance to talk about what we would name our child if ever had one. But I knew if we had a boy, Brasso was… at least a name we would consider. If it had been a girl, I would’ve named her Kerri.”
Kleya’s face does something complicated. “Why?”
“It’s probably not something he talked about much,” Bix replies, “But that was his little sister’s name. After his planet was destroyed, she was lost. He searched for her for years, before he gave it up.” She pauses, frowning a little at the look at Kleya’s face. “What?”
“Kerri,” she repeats, “That – that was my name. Before Luthen found me.”
Bix freezes.
“Kassa,” Kleya says, “I had an older brother with that name. On the planet Kenari. He went into the woods one day and he never came back. Luthen saved me when the Empire came through, massacring all the survivors.”
Bix knows what this means and all she can think is ohh.
Because there’s only one thing this could mean. All these years of Cassian looking for his sister and he never realized that he already knew her. And now he’s never going to know that either. Because Kleya was his sister?
“That was his name,” Bix agrees, head spinning.
Kleya looks… stricken. “I gave up on it. I didn’t think there was even a point to keep looking either. I don’t… I can’t believe we never knew.”
She doesn’t even have words for that, truthfully. “I can’t either.”
“He was a friend,” she says, a bit shakily, “But I never realized…” That he was her brother.
When they both break down and cry about what they’ve lost, it’s together. Bix hugs her and Kleya hugs her and they stay that way for a long time.
She still feels a gnawing emptiness inside of her, even once she’s worn herself out. She doubts Kleya is feeling much better. But all they can do now is try to live, in the galaxy that Cassian died to give to them both. To give to his child, even if he’ll never know him.
“Maybe you can stay here a little,” Bix offers finally, “Get to know Brasso. If you’re his aunt, he deserves to know you.”
She nods, smiling faintly even if it looks almost forced. “Yes. I think I would like that. The fight is over and that’s all I’ve ever done. I still can’t imagine doing anything else. But maybe it’s time I stayed here for a while.”
“That would be…. nice,” Bix agrees.
“One more thing you should know,” Kleya adds, “The Rebellion was going to build a memorial to everyone who was lost in destroying the Death Star. And many others, but them especially. I know Cassian and Luthen are both going to be on it.”
Bix nods.
It’s… good to know. Fitting, that at least he’s going to be forever remembered by everyone for that. It’s probably the closest to a grave he’s ever going to have. Maybe she’ll go see it, once it’s done. And explain to her son a bit about him. She’s talked to him about his father all the time, always with the assumption he’d be able to see him someday. Now, it’s time she tells him everything.
“I should go see Wilmon. Or bring him here,” Bix comments, as an afterthought. They can deal with this… as a family. As much of one as they can. A strange one, but still nothing else she could call what they are. With Kleya as her sister-in-law, and Wilmon as… Well, he’s family. They both understand what was lost on Ferrix in a way no one else ever can. She misses the planet so much sometimes, the place where she grew up alongside Cassian and Braso, but she could never go back, now more than ever. What’s left of the place after whatever the Empire did there is going to be nothing like the place she remembers anyway. It never could be again.
This place is home now. It’s… where she’s raised her son all this time and that’s not going to change. All they can do now is keep living. It’s what Cassian would’ve wanted, for her to give the best to their child and she’ll do it in every way she can. And maybe having the chance to get to know her brother’s child will help Kleya too.