Chapter Text
It had been six months.
It had been six months and Hen was no closer to finding out anything about their youngest team member than the day he joined them. Buck was outgoing and affable, bringing a lighthearted ease to the team that they hadn't realized was missing. Chim occasionally likened him to a Golden Retriever and nobody could deny it.
Despite the generally upbeat, youthful energy he exuded, Hen could see that beneath the carefree grin, there were walls that were not even close to being broken down. They were yet to spend any time outside of working hours together, every offer to join them for a post shift drink at the bar was refused. Any attempts to question him on his private life were shut down promptly and the topic changed. Hen was all for keeping your work and personal lives separate, but the stumbling excuses and sudden closed off demeanour any time his personal life was brought up, seemed to contradict Buck's outgoing personality.
She looks across the cab of the engine to see Buck daydreaming out the window. They were halfway through the second 24 hour shift of the week and headed to a three alarm fire at an apartment building.
"So the 125's running the show here," Bobby's voice chimes out through their headsets. "Martinez runs a tight ship so I need you following orders at all times."
Bobby turns to unsubtly look at Buck, who continues looking out the window while almost imperceptibly nodding.
"Aye aye Cap," Chim responds with a mock salute.
They pull up to the scene moments later, everyone jumping out with ease.
"Martinez, we're at your disposal, tell us what you need," Bobby approaches the 125 Captain with a slap on the back in greeting.
"Great, I need medics for this constant stream of victims, I need more hoses on the south and I need a ladder up to the top floor as soon as possible. I've got guys on second and third clearing out but nobody has reached the top yet."
"Got it, I'll divvy up the team," Bobby turns back to his waiting crew. "McAlister, Daniels get the victims coming from the back, Wilson, Han grab the ones at the front. Ortiz, Wharton, Chapman, Lewis get the hoses. Buckley, Jones, I need you guys up top."
Everyone scatters with the clear orders.
It's a constant blur of patients for Hen as she works with Chim to treat everyone. They just finish sending off an ambulance when Martinez comes over the radio.
"ALL TEAMS, ALL TEAMS. WE ARE EVACUATING THE STRUCTURE. REPEAT, FULL EVACUATION IS IN EFFECT."
Hen looks up to see that in her concentration she had failed to notice just how much of the structure had been engulfed by the flames. She looks around spotting most of the teams making it back out with their final victims.
She is unconcerned until she sees Jones jumping off the ladder truck and passing off an unconscious woman to the nearest medic.
"Jones, where's Buckley?" Bobby demands.
"We got separated in the last room, I took the patient and made it out but debris fell and he told me to get her out," Jones looks panicked staring up at the window he'd just exited. "It was bad in there Cap, not many people on that floor had managed to escape."
Bobby raises his radio preparing to call on Buck.
"There, on the left Cap!" Chim shouts pointing at a window on the opposite side where they can see the outline of Buck standing against the rising flames.
"I NEED A LADDER TO THAT WINDOW NOW!"
Hen whispers prayers to any god that will listen as she treats her patient's burns.
It must be moments later, but to Hen it felt like hours, that she sees Buck on the ladder. She finishes dressing the final wound and runs towards him with the rest of the crew. His mask is off and there's a bundle in his arms.
Chim grabs a gurney and Buck lays, what Hen can now see is, a small child on top.
They gather round as Buck wrenches his mask off of the tiny head, watching short blond curls fall out.
"Come on Shaun, don't do this," Buck starts CPR with an intensity that Hen has never seen from him. Chim works on the child along side him but eventually steps back with a slow head shake.
"Buck, he's gone," Chim gently puts a hand on his bicep in an attempt to pull him away. Hen goes to approach but Bobby beats her to it. She can see tears streaking through the ash coating Buck's face.
"No he was alive, I had him in there," he chokes out. Bobby wraps his arms around Buck from behind pulling him away and Chim wheels the gurney away.
"He-He-- I need t--," a gut wrenching sob breaks through as he falls to his knees and Bobby envelops him in his arms. "I can't lose him."
"Buck, you did your best," Bobby soothes. "We can't always save everyone and you saved so many people today."
"He--He's--," Hen has never seen Buck like this. Sure, he has been through losses on the job before and it's hit hard, like it always does, but this is something else. Buck seems to lose all fight left in him and his arms flop. A tiny pair of green glasses fall from his hands as he does.
Hen hears Martinez call for back up on the hoses, so steps away to put herself to use. She'd give Buck a full check up when they were back at the station.
--
The sun has well and truly risen by the time they roll back into the station, soot covered and drained.
Buck still looks shell shocked, he had spent the whole journey staring dejectedly into space or typing on his phone.
"Hey Buckaroo," Hen grabs his hand when he jumps out. "Come with me so I can check you out before we let you back out in the world."
Buck's only response is to follow her.
"Can't wait to get home and sleep till dinner," Hen makes one sided conversation as she works. "Karen promised Denny she'd make burgers tonight so he's going to be talking about it all day."
It doesn't take long to get through the checks and, other than a couple of minor cuts and bruises, Buck is sent off with a clean bill of health.
They make their way back to the locker room to change and shower. The rest of the team have already done so and are sitting around the loft in various states of relaxation. Just as they get to the door, a clacking comes from the front of the station and Hen looks up to see and elderly lady and a small child on crutches. Before she can ask if they need help Buck lets out a gasp and the little boy lights up.
"DADDY!!!" he shouts and before anyone can say anything, Buck is over there scooping the boy up in his arms, crutches and all.
The older lady just steps back looking on fondly. Hen can see Buck whispering into the blond curls covering the child's head. His tiny red glasses are steaming up with how intensely Buck is breathing.
Hen lets out a gasp as she is hit with the contrasting image of Buck an hour or so ago, holding on hopelessly to a very similar looking little boy and the glasses she watched tumble to the ground as he despaired. Her heart breaks for her colleague, imagining the pain of losing not only a child patient but a child so similar to his own. Hen can't help but feel she would react no differently if put in the same position.
Bobby approaches, having made his way down from the loft, laying a hand on Hen's arm to let her know he's there. She turns towards the rest of the team, each person looking just as bewildered as the last.
"I was told in no uncertain terms that we had a stop to make before school this morning, Evancito," the woman said gently, looking at Buck like he'd hung the moon. Buck choked out something resembling a laugh.
"Thank you Abuela," he whispers still gripping the boy for dear life.
"Daddy you're stinky!" Buck actually manages a real laugh at that one while reluctantly detaching himself from the boy to place him on the floor in front of him as he kneels down to be at eye level.
"Oh baby I am so happy to see you," Buck cups the little face in his hands. "I'm sorry you had to wake up extra early to come and see your silly Daddy at work."
"I missed you yesterday," the boy pouted.
"Well, I'm glad we got to see each other before you head to school," Buck spoke so gently. "You've got a busy day ahead of you Christopher! What did you say was happening today?"
"Oh, there is a man coming to play songs to everyone!" Christopher stumbled on his words with the excitement of his day ahead. "I'll learn them so we can sing them all together."
"I can't wait Superman, we need a few more numbers for carpool karaoke!"
She could see the weight is falling off of Buck shoulders the more he speaks, reassured that his child is safe and well and just as bubbly as he left him. Bobby takes this as the right time to interrupt and clears his throat.
"These new recruits get younger every year!" Bobby directs at Christopher, who giggles in response.
"I go to school!"
"Oh of course you do, silly me," Bobby grins. "So Buck do you want to make some introductions?"
"Oh yeah sorry," Buck stands up lifting Christopher with him. "Cap, Hen this is the coolest kid in the whole world, my son Christopher."
"It's a pleasure to meet you Christopher, I'm Bobby" Bobby makes him laugh with a very serious hand shake.
"Hey there Christopher, I'm Hen. I'm so happy to see you this morning. Did you know I have a son around your age, I think you and Denny could be great friends!"
Christopher looks hopefully up at Buck, who nods encouragingly, making sure he's not shy.
"We could play in the park!" Chris announces.
"Yep I knew it, you and Denny will be thick as thieves in no time!"
"And this is Abuela, sorry Isabel, the only person I think could give Bobby a run for his money in the kitchen," Buck introduces proudly, seemingly much more himself than he was just moments before.
"Lovely to meet you, we should share recipes sometime," Bobby shakes her hand before turning back to Buck and Christopher. "Why don't you come with me to meet the rest of the firefighters and eat some breakfast, while your Daddy goes and gets cleaned up so he isn't stinky any more?"
Buck looks hesitant for a second before handing his son over to his boss.
"Now, you be the good boy I know you are for Bisabuela and Bobby," Buck says to Christopher kissing his cheek. "And don't trust anyone called Chim!"
Bobby laughs, hiking the boy up a little more and guiding Isabel up to the loft.
Hen and Buck finally head into the changing room.
"He's amazing Buck," Hen says as she opens her locker.
"Isn't he? That's got nothing to do with me, it's just the way he is," Buck smiles softly.
"I can't even imagine what has been running through your head the last few hours," Hen indicates for Buck to sit with her on the bench. "That was a horrific way to lose a patient at the best of times but Jesus..."
Buck lets out a hollow laugh.
"I thought I was going to die seeing the life leave his little body Hen," he rubs a hand over his face. "I had him talking while we were in there, he managed to tell me his name, we were nearly out with Jones but when the debris came crashing he inhaled so much more smoke and dust and just..."
Buck sits and stares, vacant.
"I should have put the mask on him before the debris, I should have been able to save him. Now there's a family without that little spark of joy brightening up every day and it's all on me."
"Hey, hey, hey. Do not go down that road. I know you. You always keep fighting after everyone else would have given up, most wouldn't have even got him out of that fire. This way a family know where he'll lay to rest and that he spent his last moments cared for," a tear rolls down her cheek and she wipes it away. "You have your own little boy to protect, so don't allow yourself to spiral because that will end in you not being able to look after him. Sit in your sadness today while he's at school but don't let it eat you up Buckaroo."
"Yeah... yeah okay, I'll keep moving, for Chris," Buck is pulled in for a comforting side hug before being pushed away again.
"Right go shower because, going from experience, you need to protect your son from being corrupted by Chim!"
--
Hen makes her way back to the loft before Buck, which is to be expected given she wasn't actually in the fire. The whole crew are gathered around the table, where Chris sits at the head of the table next to Bobby, regaling them with tales of the Kindergarten playground. Abuela is on the other end of the table having an in depth conversation with Ortiz who seems to be basking in the grandmotherly attention.
"What do you want to eat Hen, pancakes or an omelette?" Bobby rises from his seat to fix her breakfast.
"An omelette would be great this time thanks Bobby," she smiles appreciatively pouring herself a glass of juice, while Bobby grabs the jug of eggs.
"Cheese, spinach and mushroom?"
"Sounds perfect Cap!" Hen takes her seat across from Chim, who has Christopher in stitches with his jokes.
"This kid is great!" Chim laughs when he spots her.
"Yup, we've only just met and I can tell he's a rockstar!" Hen reaches out and tickles Chris' side.
"What's all this noise up here?" Buck calls out as he reaches the top of the stairs. "Are you causing trouble Superman?"
"Noooooo!" Chris exclaims.
"Chris has been telling us the best stories about his adventures at school," Chim backs the child up.
Buck reaches down, scooping his son up and sitting down in the same chair.
"Oh I love those ones, he's a very good storyteller!"
"I do voices like you!" Chris says proudly looking up at his Dad making everyone just about melt at the pair of them. "Daddy, Cap'in Bobby made me chocolate pancakes!! They were even more yummy than yours!"
"Bobby does make the best food, I wonder if he has enough for me?" Buck glances up towards the kitchen island with his best puppy eyes. The older man laughs at the sight lifting a stacked plate to bring over.
"Already on it kid, good to know you've passed your sweet tooth onto the next generation."
Buck grins at Bobby thanking him as he places the plate in front of him and Chris. He cuts up the pancakes batting away wandering little hands with practiced ease, then tucks in sharing every few bites with his son.
"Evancito, he is going to go to school with a sugar rush!" Abuela scolds with a smile.
"Ah well, we won't have to deal with it will we?" he laughs at Isabel's exasperation. "You're going to have such an awesome day today mijo!"
"Pancakes and singing, my favorite!" Chris squawks, pleased at how his morning has turned out. "Oh, oh.. can we watch the big sharks tonight?!"
"SHARK WEEK!! I forgot, oh boy it's hammerhead night tonight remember we looked them up at the weekend?" Chris nods, thrilled his Dad is as enthusiastic as he is. "I think if we're really really nice after school and help clean up all the dishes at dinner we'll be allowed to watch a couple of episodes before bath time. Will we agree to do that together?"
Chris nods, incredibly serious, holding out his pinky to link with Buck as he connects them in a shake of practiced ease. Everyone is absorbed by the adorable dynamic the pair have, looking to each other to check they're seeing the same thing.
"Did you guys know that sharks are older than trees?!" Chris announces to the table like a tiny college professor. There was a chorus of no way's and wow's throughout the table. "Yeah me and Daddy researched about it at the library!"
"Yeah we did Superman, well done on remembering! Hopefully we can learn some more facts tonight," he kissed his son's head while clearing up the last of the syrup with the final piece of pancake.
"Oh Christopher, it's time to get you to school mijo!" Abuela stands from her seat at the end of the table.
Chris pouts until Buck reminds him of his fun day ahead.
"Buck, there's only like forty minutes left of the shift, just head out now, it's been a long day," Bobby pats him on the back.
"Are you sure Cap?"
"We're definitely not getting anything productive done before B-Shift arrive. Go, get him to school and go home and rest."
"Thank you so much!" Buck pulls Bobby into an excited hug squishing a giggling Christopher between them. "See you guys in a couple of days! Thanks for breakfast Bobby and thanks for being so cool about this guy."
"Christopher is welcome here any time Buck, and don't ever be afraid to let me know if you're struggling with childcare or anything, this is a family here and we look after our own," he sends the boys and Isabel on their way with a bag of leftovers and a promise from them to return.
The crew left at the table watch them leave. Hen is mulling over everything she's seen today, finding that some things are making a lot more sense.
"Well nobody saw that coming," Chim lets out a whistle. "Not one person's guess was secret kid."
Hen kicks her partner under the table, while the rest of the team groan at Chim's lack of tact.