Chapter Text
Lexa is smiling inwardly, while outwardly a stoic look is showing. She has to keep her composure as the commander. Her lips have a gentle burn on them, a pleasant one. Kissing Clarke was absolutely amazing. It is something she wishes to do every day. Clarke is right, they do deserve better. After she had kissed Clarke for the first time, she didn’t dare to dream to ever lock her lips with Clarke’s again. When Clarke kissed her, she was disarmed in the blink of an eye. Clarke has that effect on her. Feeling Clarke's soft fingers trace her skin sent shivers down her spine in all the right ways.
She strides through Polis, proudly tilting her chin up just a tad. The people in Polis, her people, greet her politely. Everyone knows her. Octavia is pacing around while Indra is glaring at Octavia, most likely out of frustration. It is unfit for a warrior to pace around. They must be waiting for Clarke.
“Indra, Octavia.” Lexa acknowledges them.
“Heda.”Commander. Indra dips her head lightly.
“Hei, heda.” Hello, commander. Octavia replies. “I’m waiting for Clarke, we have to go.” Impatience is evident in her voice.
Indra glares at Octavia for her insolence.
Lexa decides she will bring them to Clarke. “Mafta ai op.” Follow me. Surely Clarke wouldn’t take much longer. She wishes Clarke would stay here in Polis with her, but she understands Clarke’s loyalty to her people. If anyone can understand it's her, she carries the same weight on her shoulders.
Octavia and Indra follow the commander wordlessly. Once they reach the elevator, the guards that were supposed to be guarding the doors step out of the elevator.
“What is the meaning of this!?” Lexa is not pleased seeing her guards leave from their duty.
“Heda.” Commander. One of the guards looks at the commander. “Titus told us to leave.”
“You do not take orders from Titus! You take orders from me!”
“Sha, heda.” Yes, commander.
Lexa ushers them all into the elevator. She wants to know why Titus ordered her guards to leave. It makes her feel on edge. There is a pit in her stomach.
When the elevator reaches up, they all get out and follow their commander.
Lexa feels a fist squeezing her heart when she hears gunshots.
Indra instinctively reaches for the hilt of her sword.
With a quick pace, they hurry to the room where the gunshots are appearing from.
Lexa holds her hand out to open the door, but Indra stops her.
“Heda, with all due respect, allow me.”
Lexa holds her hand up and motions for another guard. Indra is already wounded too much she should not be fighting at all.
The guard opens the door and a bullet hits him in his stomach.
Lexa takes in the sight of the room. Titus is holding a gun. “Titus!” She growls at him.
Titus flinches. “Heda.” He drops the gun.
“Lock him up!” Lexa commands. Her eyes are cold when two of her guards drag Titus away to lock him up.
Indra is standing next to the commander. “Treachery.”
Lexa nods. “His betrayal will cost him his life.” She remembers how blood must not have blood, but this situation has proved that certain things cannot go unpunished.
Clarke runs up to Lexa. She ignores the fact that Indra and Octavia are standing right there with a few guards, as she wraps her arms around Lexa. Her mind is racing with thoughts. If Lexa had been the one to walk through the door rather than a guard, it would have been Lexa who would have gotten shot. That would be awful. She didn't get the chance yet to tell Lexa that she loves her and she does, she really does. It's something she has been refusing to admit for a long time.
Lexa stiffens at first, but relaxes quickly. With her eyes she tells Indra, Octavia and the guards that this is not something to be questioned.
Clarke lets go and looks over at Murphy, who is still tied up. "Titus was going to shoot me and pretend Murphy would have been the one who shot me." She never had a connection with Murphy, but he is innocent in this situation.
“Breik em au.” Free him. Lexa commands.
Indra takes a dagger and cuts Murphy loose. “What do you want us to do with him, commander?”
“He is free to go.” Lexa gives Murphy a cold look. "Leave Polis."
Murphy sighs in relief as he walks past them.
Lexa calls upon the armies of the twelve clans to march to Arkadia. She gives everyone clear instructions not to attack innocents. Pike and his small army are the targets. Clarke is right next to Lexa as they march. Octavia and Indra are on their right flank.
The warriors wash over Arkadia. The commander offered them all one last chance to surrender. Those who remained by Pike's side are squashed like bugs.
Pike has been captured. Kane has been elected as the new chancellor of the Skaikru, making Skaikru the thirteenth clan to join the commander’s coalition. Pike received fifty shock lashes, courtesy of the Skaikru, before Kane handed him over to the commander.
Pike had nearly lasted until Lexa’s sword, but after 896 cuts of the 1000 cuts he had to receive, he died. Indra had been granted the first cut, for all the warriors she has lost.
Titus is tied up against a tree, awaiting the same fate.
Lexa holds a knife out to Clarke. “Wanheda, yu beda kot em op fos.” Commander of death, you should cut him first. Titus had attempted to kill Clarke, it is only fair for the blonde to be offered the first cut.
Clarke takes the knife and nods briefly. “Jus drein jus daun.” Blood must have blood. She whispers it so only Lexa can hear her. It’s inevitable that sometimes blood must have blood. How ironic that Titus wanted to kill her because Lexa changed their ways, and now Titus is going to die through the way he wanted back so badly.
Titus’ eyes are cold as wanheda makes the first cut, slicing the blade across his cheek.
Clarke hands the dagger back to Lexa.
Lexa hears her people gasp when she holds her dagger out to Octavia. “Okteivia kom Skaikru en Trikru.” Octavia from the sky people and the woods clan. She says it loud and clear, leaving no doubt that Octavia belongs to both.
Octavia smiles as she is being acknowledged as a grounder as well, especially because the commander said it in front of everyone. She takes the dagger and makes the second cut.
The natblidas have cold expressions on their faces when they each make a cut. To them, the commander is the closest they have to a parent. Titus is guilty of treason for attempting to murder wanheda, which is a crime against their commander who always says 'Jomp em op en yu jomp ai op.' Attack her and you attack me.
Titus dies before he received half of the cuts he has to receive.
Lexa scowls at his weakness. Weakness from the man who drilled her so often, telling her love is weak. When her sword goes through him, she whispers. “Yu gonplei ste odon.” Your fight is over.
Titus and Pike are burned on a funeral pyre. Nobody sheds a tear for them.
“Heda, you requested my presence.” Octavia lightly dips her head to show respect. Her eyes stare at the candles in the commander's room.
Lexa nods. “I must know something.” She clasps her hands behind her back.
“What is it you wish to know, commander?”
Lexa pinches the bridge of her nose. “I want to know more about Skaikru customs.”
“Okay sure, anything. I’ll let you know everything I know.” Octavia replies with a small smile. “Is there anything specific you wish to know?”
“How do you let someone know you wish to be theirs?” Lexa needs a decent answer to this highly important question.
“Oh uh…” Octavia runs a hand through her hair. “You mean like a marriage?”
“What is this marriage you speak of?” Lexa is unfamiliar with the term.
“Well when two people love each other a lot, they get married.” Octavia replies. She takes her time to calmly explain it to the commander. “So yeah, that’s how.”
“I wish for Clarke to be mine.” Lexa admits. She knows Octavia has seen her with Clarke, and how at times they hold hands.
Octavia smiles at Lexa. “I’m honored that I’m the first to hear this. I won’t say anything to anyone.”
“Mochof, Okteivia.” Thank you, Octavia.
“Pro, heda.” You’re welcome, commander.
Lexa makes her way to Arkadia with her fastest horse. Octavia and Indra are following her. She told Clarke she has business to attend to, and that she shall be back in a few days. She didn’t mention that she’s on her way to Arkadia. With her natblidas and a few guards, she ensured Clarke will be kept busy. The new supply of charcoal may help keep Clarke busy as well. This trip has to be kept as a secret.
The gates of Arkadia open the moment Lexa arrives.
Kane is standing directly behind the gates. “Commander, welcome to Arkadia.” He smiles brightly.
Lexa nods briefly. “Kane.”
“What has brought you here today?” Kane asks curiously.
“I am here to speak to Abby.”
“She is in the medical bay, I’ll take you there.”
Lexa follows Kane, with Octavia and Indra directly on her heels. She sees Octavia smiling shortly at Lincoln who is walking around. “Okteivia, bants.” Octavia, leave. She nods in Lincoln’s direction, to make sure Octavia won’t be confused as to why she is ordering her to leave. There is no need for the young warrior to stay at her side right now, they are not at war.
Octavia runs off towards Lincoln, who embraces her with a smile.
Kane offers the commander and Abby some privacy once they enter the medical bay.
Lexa commands Indra to wait outside. This conversation will be between her and Abby.
“Commander, what can I do for you?” Abby asks. “Do you need any medical supplies?” She looks tired. There are dark circles around her eyes.
Lexa holds her hand up. “I am here as Lexa, not as the commander. My visit here is not about supplies.” There is no need for any formalities.
Abby is struck by concern. “Is it Clarke? Is she okay?” Her exhaustion makes her look much older than she is.
“Clarke is well.” Lexa replies earnestly.
Abby smiles at that. “She seems really happy in Polis. I believe I have to thank you for that.”
Lexa shakes her head. “There is no need to thank me. Clarke is important. I would do anything to ensure her happiness."
“That’s good to hear, honey. Clarke speaks fondly about you each time I see her and each time I hear from her. May I ask what the reason of your visit is?”
“I wish to propose to your daughter.”
Abby’s jaw drops. “You want to marry my daughter?” Surprise seeps through her voice.
“I am here to ask for your blessing. It has been brought to my attention that this is an old Skaikru custom. I wish to honor that tradition, even though such tradition is not known to grounders.”
“I don’t know what to say, Lexa. It’s clear that you mean a lot to my daughter, but marriage is not the same as being in a relationship, it’s far more serious.”
“I assure you, I have been thoroughly informed. My proposal to Clarke will be sacred. If I have the honor of marrying your daughter, I will bind my life to hers.”
Abby takes a deep breath. “You really, really love my daughter, don’t you?” She looks into Lexa's eyes.
Lexa replies with a slight nod.
“You have my blessing, but if you hurt Clarke… I know you’re the commander, but if you hurt my daughter I will hunt you down and make you pay.”
Lexa can hear the uncertainty in Abby’s voice. Threatening the commander means having the wish to die. She should have Abby’s tongue for this. However, this is different. According to the Skaikru customs, this is normal. She can see Clarke’s mother is nervous, yet clear about her warning.
“I ensure you I do not seek to hurt Clarke.” Lexa sees Abby visibly relaxing.
“Okay, wait here, I have to get something.” Abby smiles a little and walks off.
Lexa waits until Abby returns.
Abby holds a small box out to Lexa. “This belonged to Jake’s great-grandmother. It has been passed on from one generation to the other. I’m sure Jake would have wanted Clarke to have this. You can give it to her.”
Lexa’s eyes widen as she opens the box. “This will be important to Clarke like the watch she is wearing?” She knows how Clarke always wears her father’s watch.
“Yes, and it’s far more valuable. If Clarke ever…” Abby stops her last words.
Lexa tilts her head, asking a silent question, but Abby doesn’t get it. “You were about to say something. You can speak freely, as I told you, I am here as Lexa.”
Abby smiles sadly. “If Clarke would ever have a child of her own, she can pass it on, and then someday that child can pass it on to theirs.”
Lexa pockets the small box. She whispers a few last words to Abby before leaving. Once outside, Octavia and Indra are quickly by her side, loyal as always.
Lincoln’s eyes follow Octavia, and Lexa notices.
Lexa holds her arm out towards Lincoln and waits for him to grip her arm, which he does immediately. “Lincoln, you are welcome to return home.” She gives Indra a silent command with her eyes. “Trikru is your clan. You will be welcome in Polis.” Lincoln does not have to be an outsider, he is a good man.
“Mochof, heda.” Thank you, commander.
Lexa swears she can see the faintest of smiles on Indra’s face when Octavia happily mounts her horse with Lincoln.
Together they return to Polis.
Clarke enters Lexa’s bedroom. She laughs as she notices the ridiculous amount of candles. Lexa truly went all out tonight with her candle obsession. The candle makers must have had quite the field day to create so many candles for their commander. She's happy that Lexa returned. The few days Lexa had been gone, she had spent time with the natblidas and she made a few drawings. It is difficult for her when Lexa is gone, but she knows Lexa has certain duties as the commander, in the end Lexa always returns to her and that's what matters. The nights without Lexa, she slept while holding Lexa's pillow, because it had her smell on it.
Lexa smiles as she walks over to Clarke. She has missed her beautiful blue-eyed blonde, who illuminates her world, merely by her eyes alone.
Clarke weaves her hands in Lexa’s hair and kisses her sweetly and softly. Her lips part and she feels the brunette's lips slightly parting too. Their tongues meet and dance around. She gently bites Lexa's tongue, so Lexa can't pull away from their kiss. She sucks lightly on the brunette's tongue while it's stuck between her teeth, earning a whimper from Lexa. When she pulls away, they are both breathless.
Lexa whispers against Clarke's lips. “Ai hod yu in, Klark.” I love you, Clarke.
Clarke feels Lexa's breath ghosting over her lips. “Ai hod yu in seintaim, Leksa.” I love you too, Lexa. Her words are filled with truth. "I slept with your pillow in your absence." She admits while blushing.
Lexa matches the red color on Clarke's cheeks with a blush of her own. "I had a shirt from you with me. I wore it when I slept."
Clarke bites her lip.
Lexa takes Clarke’s hand in hers. She drops down to one knee, this reminds her of the day she swore fealty to Clarke. Though this is about to be much more special.
Clarke’s blue eyes stare deeply into Lexa’s forest green eyes.
Lexa takes a little box from her pocket. The one Abby had given her.
Clarke’s eyes widen as Lexa opens the box and a ring is revealed.
“Clarke, I wish to wed you.” Lexa racks through her mind. “Will you marry me? Will you accept this ring? This ring is from your father’s great-grandmother. It has been passed on. Your mother gave it to me, for you, if you accept. If not, I shall return this ring to Abby.”
Clarke cries. She falls down and Lexa catches her. “Yes, Lexa.” More tears escape from her eyes. “I’ll marry you.” She’s amazed how Lexa took the effort to talk with her mother.
Lexa smiles and slips the ring around Clarke’s finger. “Ai hodnes.” My love.
Their wedding is a big celebration in Polis. It is rare for a commander to wed. Commanders are known to die young, without a lover of any kind. The thirteen clans know peace. The ambassadors are all invited.
Many people have made their way to Polis, curious to witness something so rare.
Every clan has arranged a gift, to honor the commander and to show their support.
The natblida are standing next to the new flame keeper, a middle aged man who is strict but just. Mordecai is different than Titus.
Love is weakness is no longer something they are taught. Instead they are taught that love is strength, although they are being warned that loving people can make the commander vulnerable.
King Roan from Azgeda offers them furs, as a gift.
One by one, people step forward with various gifts, which the commander gratefully accepts.
Lexa tenderly holds a hand to Clarke’s stomach. “This is a miracle.” She’s still amazed at how this is possible. Abby had managed to find a way to make Clarke pregnant. The child will be a mix of Clarke and herself, which is even more amazing. Arkadia and their way with technology and medical treatments will never cease to blow her mind.
It has been a little over a year since their wedding took place. Abby had been thrilled to help them out, excited about having a grandchild.
Clarke places her hand on top of Lexa’s. “Two more months. I’m so bloated.”
Lexa’s gaze lands on Clarke’s chest. “I have noticed.” She swallows thickly.
Clarke chuckles. “My eyes are up here, Lexa.”
“I apologize, Clarke.”
Clarke shakes her head. “I don’t mind, you can let your eyes linger anywhere you want, as long as it’s on me.” Her voice is soft.
“I only have eyes for you.” Lexa whispers earnestly.
“Indra has been getting on my nerves.”
“Has she?”
“She is always trialing behind me, everywhere I go. It’s like I can’t do anything. When I say something about it, she grunts. I’m pregnant, not crippled.”
Lexa smiles. Indra has been telling her that Clarke has been difficult. “It is for your safety and the safety of our unborn child, Clarke.” She hopes her wife will understand.
“Yeah I know.” Clarke waves her hand. “I hope they will catch Emerson fast, I should have never let him go.” She feels guilty for the grounders Emerson has killed, all because she let him go.
“I have placed a bounty on his head. He should be found soon.”
“That’s a good idea. What’s the reward for the one who catches him?”
Lexa licks her lips. “The one who brings Emerson, either dead or alive, is allowed to ask anything they want, as long as it does not dishonor me in any way.”
Clarke and Lexa are sleeping together. The sun is barely rising when someone knocks on their doors.
Lexa slips out of their bed and dresses appropriately. “Min op.” Enter.
Octavia walks in, pushing someone around with a bag over their head. She kicks the person down in front of the commander. “A honon gon yu.” A prisoner for you.
“Chon ste em?” Who is it?
“Emerson.”
Lexa nods in approval. She flicks her wrist for her guards to take Emerson away. “Teik em set raun ona tri.” Put him on the tree.
“Sha, heda.” Yes, commander.
Lexa watches Octavia. “You have captured him.” She studies the younger girl’s face, noticing leftovers from a fight. “Chit yu gaf?” What do you want? She doesn’t know what Octavia wants as a reward.
“You are expecting a child.”
Lexa’s eyes widen. “I will not give you my child.” Her voice is stern and serious.
Octavia laughs. “No, that’s not what I want to ask.” She quickly continues to clear Lexa’s confusion. “I wish to be the aunt of the child. We’re not related, but I want to mean something in the child’s life. Clarke is one of my best friends.”
“This is the reward you wish to receive?”
Octavia nods with a smile on her face.
Laughter rings through the air. Clarke shows up next to Lexa. “I accept.” She whispers.
Lexa nods. “Very well, Octavia shall be the aunt of our child.”
Octavia squeals and jumps up.
Clarke gives Octavia a pointed look. “If you ever have a child with Lincoln, I’m the first in line to be the aunt.”
“Consider it done.”
When Clarke is properly dressed, they make their way to the rest of their people.
Emerson is tied up against a tree, angrily glaring at Clarke.
Clarke is too nauseous to make a cut and to watch.
When it is done, Lexa asks her wife a million times if she's okay. She asks Octavia if she wants any other rewards, since she has a feeling Clarke would have granted Octavia to be an aunt either way. Octavia does not ask for any rewards.
Lexa can't help herself. Octavia single-handedly captured Emerson who had slaughtered several grounders. To reward Octavia in some way, she offers the younger girl one of her finest horses and a sword, made by her best blacksmith in all of Polis.
Clarke feels her water break and panics washes over her. No, this is too soon! She's not due for another two months. She orders Indra to go get her mother.
Lexa hurries to get to Clarke the second she hears her wife's water broke. She holds Clarke's hand. Panic is written all over her wife's face. She's worried too, but she has to be strong for Clarke and for their unborn child.
They have talked about names and they have already selected one for a girl and one for a boy. It’s a surprise. Abby had been able to see what they would be getting, but they didn’t want Abby to tell them.
Clarke squeezes her wife’s hand from all the pain she’s feeling. The contractions hurt. Her nails are digging into Lexa’s skin, but her wife doesn’t say anything about it. She winces as the pain becomes more frequent and more painful.
Abby looks at Clarke. “You need to push.” She instructs. “I know it hurts, but you have to take deep breaths right now and push.”
Lexa breathes along with her wife, to support Clarke.
Clarke pushes and grits her teeth.
“Very good, Clarke.” Abby encourages her daughter. “I see a head.”
Clarke takes a ragged breath when she pushes one last time.
Abby cuts the umbilical cord and there is nothing but silence. Clarke and Lexa both know this is not right. Their child is supposed to cry now. Abby gently pats the babies' back, hoping for her grandchild to breathe, because her grandchild isn't breathing yet. There are some complications. Her grandchild is very tiny, which is partially due to the fact her grandchild is born two months early.
Clarke is about to cry when a cry rips through the air.
Abby checks the baby. When she's done, she wraps her grandchild in a towel. “You have a daughter.” She hands her grandchild to her daughter. “She’s a strong one.”
Lexa caresses her daughter’s cheek. “Hei, Onya.” Hello, Anya. She kisses her wife’s forehead. “When we have a son, we will get our little Jake, I promise.”
Clarke smiles at her wife. “For now I’m happy with our tiny daughter. Our little Anya.” She knows how much this means for Lexa. When Anya died, it was rough. Lexa had known Anya all her life. Even she had felt pain when Anya died, despite not knowing Anya so well.
“You honor her.” Lexa lingers on the memory of her old mentor.
“We both do.” Clarke corrects her wife. “If she could see our little Anya right now, she might have smiled.”
Anya is tiny, but she's a fighter. Despite some small complications, she lives.
Lexa arranges a room for Abby in Polis, so she can stay around for a while to check up on Anya every day.
Word about the commander having a daughter travels fast through Polis and reaches the thirteen clans. Each clan visits, bearing gifts. No commander has ever had a child before.
Anya is eight months old when she is trying to walk. She is smaller than the average child her age, which worries Clarke and Lexa, despite Abby reassuring them that Anya is healthy.
Clarke and Lexa are walking around at the market in the middle of Polis. Their people respectively move out of the way to make room for them and their daughter.
“She is stubborn.” Lexa whispers.
Clarke nods in agreement. Anya is stubborn, trying to walk rather than being held. "She wants to be fast with everything." She smiles a little. Anya was born too early. Sometimes she babbles a bit and she can already say one word. Now Anya is stubborn to walk, even though she cannot take steps without wobbling.
Lexa kneels down and holds her arms out for Anya. Her daughter looks so fragile yet so strong at the same time. She is worried that Anya would get hurt.
Anya stands up. She tries to take a few steps. Her legs are shaky and she topples over. When she falls down, she scrapes her knee. Black blood trickles from her shallow wound.
The grounders nearby gasp. “Natblida.” Nightblood.
Clarke gasps as well. “No, no, no.” She looks at Lexa with despair. Their daughter can’t be a natblida, Anya shouldn’t be one.
Lexa feels her heart break. No matter how long she may live, one day she will be no more and the conclave will be inevitable for their daughter.
“Nobody can know.” Clarke whispers. She hoists their daughter up in her arms.
“It is too late.” Lexa replies. “Our people have seen her.”
"Anya is our daughter."
"I am so sorry, Clarke." Lexa takes a deep breath. "She is a natblida, the conclave is her birthright."
Clarke shakes her head. "It sounds more like a curse." She hates having to know that one day their sweet little girl will have to fight to the death.
Lexa knows this means that eventually their daughter will be training with the other natblidas, including Aden who has been improving a lot. Aden has always been her favorite, but now she will favor Anya. Sweet little Anya, the apple of her eye. The other natblidas have been training for some years. Then there is Ontari, the natblida of the ice nation. She would love to let Ontari meet the sharp edge of her sword, but it is forbidden to kill a nightblood. Natblidas are sacred. Even though she despises Ontari, the conclave is her birthright just as much as it is the birthright of the other natblidas. It doesn't help that Ontari hates her. She hopes Ontari will perish before she does, so her daughter will not face a conclave that has Ontari in it. Ontari's wrath would be too ruthless on her sweet little daughter. Ontari would be so cruel to let Anya suffer, whereas the other natblidas would make sure it all happens fast and as painless as possible.
Having a child can be a huge risk for a commander, hence commanders do not have children. She is the first commander with a child, something she never dared to dream. The only reason she did not mind having a child with her wife is because they know peace. The thirteen clans have peace. No harm would come to Clarke nor to her child. Now that Anya turns out to be a nightblood, the situation is different. She feels guilty. The Skaikru never had anyone with black blood. Anya is a mix of her wife and herself. She did this. It is her fault that Anya is a natblida. She said she would not hurt Clarke and now she has. Her blood is passed on to their daughter.
Aden is standing next to a few grounders, looking at Anya. Clarke can see the sadness in his eyes. She can tell he struggles with this as well.
Anya holds her tiny hands to her scraped knee. With a pout she looks up at her mothers. "Nomon." Mother. Her small voice croaks and it makes her look all the more fragile.
The next morning when Lexa wakes up when the sun is barely rising, she misses her wife’s warmth. She opens her eyes and doesn’t see Clarke in their room. Slowly, she gets up from their bed. She walks over to Anya’s crib that’s placed on the other end of their room.
Anya’s crib appears to be empty. That’s odd. Where’s her wife? Where’s her daughter? She wonders if Clarke got up to have breakfast early today.
Quickly she changes into her clothes. She strides over to the doors. Before she pushes them open, her eyes notice a piece of paper that’s stuck to the door with a dagger, one of her daggers. The words on the paper are in Clarke’s handwriting.
I left with Anya, I can’t do this Lexa. I’m sorry. Don’t look for us. – Clarke.