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“It’s cuffing season and all the girls are leaving…” Jisung starts singing and Chan can almost hear the way Changbin rolls his eyes as Jisung waves an opened water bottle in his field of vision.
“Jisung…” Chan warns, but it’s not really any kind of threat and Jisung knows it. Chan, unfortunately, finds this very funny because ever since he and Jisung discovered the many, many, many fan edits Stay make about Changbin using that song, Jisung has been unable to shut up about it. There's a couple edits of Jisung too, a few more of Chan, which Chan thinks is silly since he really isn't big. But the song is catchy and Jisung can’t for the life of him stop singing whenever he’s got an earworm, but aside from that, it’s also a perfect opportunity to tease Changbin.
“You can open your own water bottle,” Changbin tells him, not taking his eyes off the computer. “You got muscles, don’t you?”
“I do…” Jisung still sing-songs. “But I need a big boy, give me a big boy….”
Changbin sighs heavily and snatches the bottle. To Jisung’s credit, the water bottles from the vending machine down the hallway are notoriously more difficult to open than regular water bottles. To Changbin’s credit, Jisung never asks Chan to open them when it’s just the two of them.
“There.” Changbin opens the water bottle, biceps bulging just a little bit at the effort. Chan only notices because Changbin’s black shirt is a little tight. “Can we focus back on this now?”
And they do because they’re professionals and they’re not in the studio just to fuck around. Though, when one is in the studio as much as they are, fucking around does happen a lot.
Jisung must sing the SZA song about six more times that day, almost all of them to tease Changbin, but sometimes also just as a distracted mumble. It makes Chan giggle either way; it’s always fun when there’s a new inside joke between them, and Changbin only pretends to be annoyed and that is always very cute.
“More coffee,” Jisung says, voice groggy and monotone. He rises from his chair and ruffles through his bag. He pulls out a bagged coffee drink and grabs his cup.
“You’re gonna drink it without ice?” Changbin asks, not hiding how he feels about that.
Jisung just shrugs and rips the bag open. He’s exhausted, they all are. They’ve been here all day and they know they probably shouldn’t go without finishing the topline they’re currently working on.
Changbin turns away and closes his eyes, maybe not to watch Jisung drink room-temperature bagged coffee, maybe because he just wants to rest. He looks cozy in Chan’s hoodie that he stole at some point hours ago and he looks so peaceful he might as well be asleep.
“Okay, come on, we got this.” Chan slaps his own cheeks a little. “Just a bit more and then we can go. Let’s finish this.”
Both Changbin and Jisung groan at the same time. Jisung then slurps his disgusting coffee.
Chan gets to his feet and bounces in place, trying to shake the sleep off. He can’t drink coffee right now or he’ll never sleep, but some blood pumping through his veins should get him alert enough to wrap things up for the night. “Let’s go, Bin. Stand up.” Changbin makes a non-committal sound at the back of his throat. Chan approaches and nudges his shoulder. “Get up, you’ll feel better.”
Changbin doesn’t move.
Chan closes his hands into fists and bounces on the balls of his feet, boxing style. “Come on.” He jabs at Changbin’s arm, lightly. “Come on, fight me.” Changbin opens his eyes, stares expressionless up at Chan. Chan grins and keeps bouncing, fists up. “Come on. Show me what you got, big boy.”
Changbin was already unmoving, but he somehow freezes completely. He’s definitely wearing an expression now. Shocked. Confused. Flustered? Chan would have maybe assumed it was all in his head if it hadn’t been for Jisung’s surprised exhale of air followed by a laugh.
“Oh. Ohhhh!” Changbin’s face goes back to passive, but it’s too late. Jisung’s already running with it. “What was that, Changbinnie?”
Changbin looks away from Chan and it is both a relief and a disappointment. “What?” he asks simply.
“Yeah, okay, play dumb.” Jisung sips more of his coffee. “You don’t get like that when I call you big boy.”
Changbin ignores him and gets back to work. Well, Chan’s definitely awake now.
Very, very awake.
Chan grabs the kettle and peers inside. He wonders how long it’s been since someone rinsed it. He knows it’s just water that goes into it, but water still creates build-up. This is the same kettle they had back on their previous, eight-person dorm and it has seen better days, but it’s still perfectly functional and Chan already knows how long it takes to boil a cup of water and he doesn’t wanna throw out a reliable kettle for no reason.
He’ll be the one to clean it, of course. He’s the only one who cares about this stuff.
There’s a thud somewhere in the apartment, near the bedrooms. Well, at least two of the bedrooms.
“Oh, no.” He looks over his shoulder.
Changbin is on the couch and looks up from his phone to gaze in the same direction as Chan. “Fucking, or fighting? Fucking or fighting?”
Chan wishes he could laugh. Unfortunately, it was only truly funny the first time. Ever since they split into two dorms, Chan and Changbin have been subjected to the least fun game of roulette there is; one with two chambers and two bullets. One of the bullets might be made of rubber, though, but it still makes an impact.
They both wait expectantly for more noise to confirm either suspicion, but none comes. Maybe they got lucky and it is indeed a false alarm, so they both relax and get back to their own tasks.
Chan fills the kettle with warm water and a little bit of vinegar.
He’d been noticing the sparks of tension that crackled under the surface between the members back when they were all living together. For a long time there was nothing, at least nothing out of the ordinary; they all had too much work to do before, during, and after debut, which meant little time or energy to focus even on things that were considered basic human needs.
But as time when on, they slowly started to realize they could relax. Not a lot, not entirely, but enough. And that’s when the problems started.
Going out, meeting with people, even friends, even other idols, was always risky. A wrong step in any direction could mean a scandal or an issue with the company. He’d been hoping they could all postpone this for as long as possible, so he decided to do something that could potentially help or potentially create even more problems.
But ultimately, he had faith in his members.
He basically told them they could, and maybe should, relieve their sexual frustrations with one another, if they so wanted to. He was never blind to the ways some of them would look at each other, the subtle hints of flirting that turned less and less playful as time went on, the lingering touches that almost indicated that something was already underway.
It was brewing under the surface anyway, Chan could feel it. He just gave them permission to run with it.
Jisung and Hyunjin ran with it almost immediately. Sprinted with it, actually. Loudly and uproariously.
Back in the day they mostly fought, until things calmed down and it was okay for a while. These days, they still sometimes fight, but it honestly seems to be more foreplay than anything else. ‘Fucking or fighting’ almost always ends up being fucking, and honestly, it’s better than fighting.
At least, Chan tells himself as much.
Hyunjin walks into the living room moments later and makes his way to the kitchen. “Hi, hyung.”
“Hi, Hyunjinnie.”
Hyunjin pours himself some water, drinks all of it, and then pours some more and sets the glass on the counter.
“Yo.” Jisung walks out too and goes directly to where Changbin is sitting and plops down next to him, sticking his head into Changbin’s line of sight to look at his phone too. “What you doing?”
“Yah, you’re so annoying!” Changbin pushes his head away.
“Excuse me for trying to spend some quality time with my hyung!” Jisung throws his upper body on Changbin’s lap and sighs dramatically. Hyunjin giggles and picks up the glass of water on his way to them. Chan smiles and puts the kettle to boil.
“All you're doing is throwing yourself on top of me.”
“Well, I thought you could handle it, big boy!”
Chan can’t help it. He turns to look.
He needs to see Changbin’s face, needs to try and find the same thing he saw last time, the same curve to slightly parted lips, the same circumference to his blown pupils, the same space between his raised eyebrows.
Or maybe, what he really needs is to not find it at all.
He ends up seeing Changbin’s gaze directed at him, but only for a split second.
A split second too long.
“Oh my god, Hyunjin, you should have seen the way Changbin reacted when hyung called him a big boy the other day.” Jisung sits up and accepts the glass of water Hyunjin brings him. “He short-circuited, I think.”
Chan watches the way Hyunjin turns his too-fond gaze from Jisung to Changbin, only for his face to immediately change. Hyunjin’s always been perceptive, so maybe he reads more into the roll of Changbin’s eyes and his dismissive scoff. “Oh?”
“Yeah, he was all red too.”
Hyunjin looks over at Chan and Chan doesn’t think he’s misunderstanding any of what’s happening in here.
“Hm. Are you sure you’re not just jealous of not being called a big boy, baby?” Hyunjin finally looks back at Jisung, smile too perfect to be anything but a little evil. Chan grins.
“Hey!” Jisung flexes his arm and presses it right up against Changbin’s. “Tell me this isn’t big too.”
Hyunjin snorts. His plan clearly worked, because Changbin looks more relaxed. “You still need to be more consistent and up your protein intake. Do you even drink your shakes in the morning anymore?”
"That…” Jisung points his finger at Changbin’s face. “Is neither here nor there.”
Changbin huffs and pushes Jisung’s finger away. Hyunjin grabs Jisung before he can swipe at Changbin and pulls him to his feet. “Come on, you said you wanted water and you got it. I need you posing for my painting, remember?”
Jisung turns to putty when Hyunjin pulls him to his feet and against his chest. That’s one of the benefits of this whole thing they got going on; they can handle each other pretty easily now.
Jisung sticks out his tongue at Changbin before letting Hyunjin pull him away to his room. Or Jisung’s room. Hopefully it’s one of those and not their bathroom, the soundproofing is pretty bad in there.
When they leave, the silence is too thick, even for Chan, even for Changbin, the only person Chan feels 100% comfortable with at all times.
They speak at once.
“What—”
“Do—”
Chan smiles. “Go ahead.”
He likes that Changbin doesn't insist Chan goes ahead first and just carries on. “Do you need help?”
“Oh.” Chan turns to look at the kettle, starting to boil now, the bubbles getting louder. “Not really, I’m almost done, just cleaning the kettle.”
“The kettle?” Changbin stands up and walks over to look. “Does it need to be cleaned? It’s just water.”
“Yeah, but it leaves build-up, you see, and next thing you know we’re all drinking limescale tea. Every time we boil water.”
Changbin snorts, grabs a hand towel and starts drying off the dishes that Chan has just finished. “Okay. What were you gonna say, before?”
Chan pulls the kettle off its base and pours out the mixture inside. “Oh. I was just going to ask what were the chances that Jisung is posing naked in there.” He opens the tap and rinses everything off, sticking his hand inside the kettle and scratching at the bottom to see if there's more sedimentation.
Changbin lets out a suffering sigh, but he’s smiling. “Those brats.”
It’s not an unfamiliar situation. Chan, Changbin, side by side doing dishes or working on something or even just watching a movie, and then suddenly a moan would ripple through the apartment and make them tense up. They quickly learned just how loud Jisung and Hyunjin could be when combined, how their joined energy could shake up the apartment, sometimes literally, and make Chan and Changbin far more awkward than they usually are are around each other.
This time, though, it seems they really are just modeling and painting. For now.
“Do you have plans today?" Chan asks. It's a day off and he knows he should actually rest and not go to the studio, but sometimes he needs help with that. "Gym?"
Changbin nods. "Yeah, you coming? I'm trying a new bench press PR."
That's always fun and Chan can distract himself from work. "Sure."
The kettle is spotless by the time Chan is finished, and he promises himself to clean it more regularly to avoid build-up.
The small gym is blessedly empty, so Chan and Changbin can chat about anything without being careful of being overheard. He can also look at Changbin — really look at him — without feeling weird about it.
And when he's spotting him like this, is easy to fool himself into thinking he's just doing a very thorough job and nothing else. Chan is not quite ready to admit to himself what he deep down knows is true; he likes Changbin more than he should and there's a tension between them that wasn't there before.
Maybe it was, though. At one point, when they were younger, freshly debuted and Chan would sleep in Changbin's bed most nights because he needed it, to be honest. There were times when he thought Changbin might kiss him and maybe things would be different between them. It was scary, but Chan thinks he would have given himself to it back then.
But it never happened, and maybe that was for the best. Chan really needed to focus and lock in during those times. Changbin too, probably.
Nothing else happened for a while, but when everyone else started hooking up, suddenly there was a pressure there. He was giving permission to everyone, and that included Changbin, of course, but it did not include himself. He didn't need all that to relieve stress, he was perfectly fine with his own methods and he was too busy to be thinking about such things anyway.
But Changbin did not hook up with anyone. At first Chan was worried he was just hiding it really well, but then it became evident that he'd never done anything with any of the members. He seemed impervious to the flirting (Minho), the teasing (Seungmin), the downright propositioning (Felix) like it wasn't a big deal. So, naturally, Chan thought maybe he had already been hooking up with someone else, someone from the outside. A staff member, maybe? Childhood friend?
Once again, Chan was proved wrong during a drunken game of Truth of Dare where Changbin confirmed that he wasn't actively hooking up with anyone. And one thing Changbin wasn't was a liar, so Chan believed him.
So Changbin wasn't having sex with any of the members and he also wasn't having sex with anyone outside of the members. It was both great and terrible for Chan; it let him keep holding on to his pathetic false hope.
But if he was trying to be logical and understand, he thought that maybe Changbin was just too much like him and staying focused on work was more important than anything else. Chan could respect that.
So fine. They could live with that. They could live with a group of people constantly having sex around them. Sometimes really, really close around them. They could be adults about it and not let the thick, firm tension in the air be an issue. It was fine.
As Chan sees Changbin do the warmup reps before attempting a new PR, the song plays on loop in his head and he can't turn it off. Changbin really is a big boy. And he's getting bigger every day. And Chan is so, so sick, because he shouldn't be staring at his best friend's chest and trying not to think about inappropriate things.
"Kay… One more…"
Chan tunes back in and gets ready to hold the bar. Changbin struggles, trembling through his last rep but completing it without Chan's help. Chan goes next while Changbin rests, and he removes some of the weights because he really doesn't wanna die. And while it's bad to have to see Changbin from standing position behind the benching press, it might be worse to watch him from below, the angle making his chest seem even bigger, back broader. He's so much bigger than Chan, he doesn't know what Stays are even talking about him being big when Changbin is clearly there.
"Three more." Changbin looks so focused, so serious about working out, not like Chan who hasn't been able to keep his thoughts in line since they started.
He does three more and then Changbin makes him do three more after that because it looked 'easy' or whatever. He almost doesn't make it but he follows through because Changbin told him to and he's the best hypeman.
They get some water and put the weights back on the bar, and then some. Chan is always so proud of Changbin for his determination, his commitment to get better, his discipline. He has no doubt Changbin will be able to lift all this.
Still, he makes sure he’s ready to help if needed. From the front, because it seems safest, straddling Changbin’s waist and keeping his eyes peeled for any sign of shaking or difficulty. Changbin doesn’t comment on the position, they do it sometimes, so it’s not weird. Chan is the only one who could make it weird if he keeps thinking about how good Changbin looks from there.
But he focuses soon after. Changbin lifts the bar slowly, testing it out, face scrunched up in concentration and effort. He licks his lips. Chan keeps his hands at the ready but also can’t stop his eyes from trailing all the way down to Changbin’s collarbones, along with the drop of sweat that rolls there. Changbin grunts and stretches out his arms fully, balancing the bar with perfect form. Chan is already impressed.
“Good! Okay, come on, you got this.”
Changbin does one perfect rep, slow, shaking slightly, but all the way down and all the way up. Chan breaks into a smile and cheers.
“Bin, you did it! One more?”
Changbin merely nods, already lowering the bar towards his chest. He’s so wide, so strong, it’s mesmerizing to watch. Chan truly understands Felix when it comes to ogling Changbin, even if he himself feels more guilty about it. Felix, however, gets to let it all out with Minho. And Jeongin. And he’s pretty sure with Jisung, too, at least once.
But Chan is fine. He’s okay the way things are. He doesn’t need—
“Fuck—” Changbin curses under his breath, something he definitely doesn’t do a lot, so Chan gets his hands under the bar, but Changbin seems like he’s got it.
It should not be this hot to hear him curse, and yet.
He’s struggling with the last bit, elbows almost stretched out all the way, the hardest part, but he’s so close. “Come on. Come on, you can do it.” Changbin is so big and strong, he can definitely do this. “Come on, big boy.”
In a split second, Changbin pushes the rest of the way and then his arms wobble immediately, and if Chan hadn’t already had his hands under the bar, maybe he wouldn’t have caught it in time. It just goes down and Chan nearly stumbles forward trying to keep it balanced. Time freezes when the danger is no longer imminent, and for a moment they just look at each other.
Chan reacts before the weight gets too much and puts the bar back in place, with very little help from Changbin, as if his arms just stopped working entirely.
And Chan’s heart is beating so fast.
The seconds drag on and all Chan can do is look down at Changbin, watching his chest go up and down as he breathes, hard. Worst of all is how his face, already red from the effort, darkens even more.
“Oh.” Chan breathes out, blinking, blinking, blinking. Changbin is still holding onto the bar, elbows bent over his head, looking owlishly up at Chan. “You. You really do like it.”
It all checks out now, even if Chan didn’t want to believe it before, because why would Changbin get so flustered over him specifically? Jisung has been teasing him all month and all he’s done is look mildly annoyed or amused.
Changbin makes to move, and Chan barely has time to step back, but it’s still not enough. He stumbles, lands on Changbin’s lap, fully sitting on him as Changbin sits up.
And they're face to face now.
"Sorr-"
"Stop." Changbin puts his palms over Chan's thighs, effectively stopping him from going anywhere. There's no force to them, but Chan feels them as if they weighed a thousand kilos. "Hyung. Look at me."
Chan thought he was, but when he focuses on Changbin's eyes, he realizes he'd been looking at every other part of him instead. Changbin is still red, but maybe it's just the exercise now. Maybe that's why he's so serious too.
"I do like it." Changbin's words are clear, but his breathing is a little stuttery. "I know it's dumb. I'm sorry." Chan has no idea what to say, but with Changbin, that always turns out okay. When one of them falters, the other picks it up. "Unless…" The corner of Changbin's mouth twitches. "Unless you like that I like it. Then I'm not sorry."
Changbin knows him better than anyone. Understands him better than anyone. There's no use hiding from him.
Instead, Chan wrings his hands together, keeping them from touching Changbin. "Bin…" He gulps. "We can't."
Changbin nods, like he knows, but then he asks, "why, though?" and Chan's stomach swoops. "I used to think so too. I thought… Well, Chan isn't doing it, so I shouldn't either. If he's fine, then I'm fine. Keep ourselves focused, right? No mess, no distractions." Chan nods. That was his thought process almost to a T, and while it feels right for him, he wants Changbin to know that he doesn't have to follow the same… rules? But his throat feels so dry, his heart taking up too much space up there. Changbin snorts and shakes his head a little. "And then as time went by, it was harder to remind myself why I wasn't doing it. Only I couldn't, even if I wanted to."
It takes Chan all of three deep breaths to find his voice. "W-Why?"
Changbin looks at him as if it's obvious. "Because you didn't want to."
"But Bin, you don't have to do what I do, just because—"
"Aish, Bang Chan!" Changbin says his name loudly, upset but not mad, firm but not cruel. It just makes Chan pay attention immediately, more so with the way Changbin's fingers dig into his quads. "I know you're smart, but I'm still gonna spell it out for you." His hands fly from Chan's thighs to his cheeks, not gently, keeping him there in place. "I only want to do it with you."
Chan blinks and blinks but Changbin is still there, still looking deadly serious, even though his ears are red and his eyes shiny. Chan can't help his first reaction — He wants to ask Changbin if he's sure. Luckily his brain saves him from it, because it's a stupid question. He always tries not to undermine someone's feelings, especially Changbin who always knows what he wants.
After so much silence, Changbin keeps searching Chan's face. Chan would love to know what he sees, what's giving him away, or not. "But if you don't wanna…"
A split second before Changbin can pulls his hands back, Chan grabs his wrists and keeps him there. The hope that ignites somewhere behind Changbin's dark pupils is enough to switch all of Chan's blood with gasoline. He still doesn't know what to say, but his body seems to have a plan of its own.
And maybe for once, Chan could listen. It's just him and Changbin. It's just Changbin. Nothing bad has ever happened to him with Changbin by his side.
"You mean it?" His voice comes out weak, soft. He knows Changbin wouldn't have said it unless he meant it, but his brain needs to hear it again.
Changbin chuckles, smooths both thumbs across Chan's cheeks. "Are you even paying attention to how I'm reacting because you called me a—"
"Big boy," Chan blurts out again and Changbin's smile dies for a moment before it's back with a shake of his head.
"You have to stop that."
Chan feels his teeth find his bottom lip before it escapes to form a grin. "What if I don't wanna?"
Changbin's smirk doesn't just make Chan's stomach swoop again. It makes his cock twitch. He has to hold back a gasp. "Then you're gonna have to deal with the consequences."
"Such as?"
Changbin shakes his head again. "I always knew you were a brat."
And he kisses him.
Chan is not ready, probably would have never been ready even with all the anticipation in the world. He's struck by how familiar it feels, the overwhelming sense of belonging that he usually has around Changbin just exploding right in his face and making him curse himself for not understanding sooner.
He won't cry. He will not let the tears win when Changbin is nipping at his bottom lip and leaning closer into Chan's space, already so mixed up with Changbin's as it is. His body is confused, wanting more, needing time to process, cheering, crying, basking in the familiar but trying to understand the new.
Too fast, he starts losing control, clearly, because Changbin licks into his mouth and groans and Chan has to make a herculean effort not to grind down on him. Changbin notices, of course, and instead of chastising Chan for forgetting himself at a public place, he lowers his hands to Chan's hips and moves him.
"Ahgh…" It's so embarrassing how sensitive Chan is, how quick, how loud. This is another reason he never wanted to let go with any of them. They know every side of him except this. "Bin.."
Changbin looks more gorgeous than Chan's ever seen him, mouth red and spit-slick, eyes unfocused, hair curling up from the heat and sweat.
And yet, he snaps out of it in an instant when he hears Chan say his name.
"I got this."
Chan doesn't know what that means, but he knows he can feel Changbin growing hard under his ass and his legs are about to start trembling.
Changbin digs his phone out of the pocket of his sweatpants and barely gives it a glance before it's ringing on speaker.
"Hello?" Hyunjin's voice — deeper than usual and unfortunately characteristically raspy — answers.
"Hyunjin-ah." Changbin never looks away from Chan. "I need you and Jisung to be out of the apartment in fifteen."
Silence. Some rustling. Somehow Chan can feel Jisung's questioning look through the phone call and it makes his heart speed up even more.
"Okay."
Changbin hangs up.
Before Chan can even say anything or have an existential crisis, Changbin puts his phone back in his pocket and and grabs Chan's ass with both hands, roughly yanking him closer and keeping a firm grip as he rises to his feet. Chan has to scramble to hold on, both with his legs around Changbin's waist and arms around his neck, all with a very undignified yelp.
He knows Changbin is strong. He's carried Chan before, usually on his back, but this casual display is making Chan so dizzy, and yet he cannot catch a break because as soon as Changbin gets off the bench, he's pressing Chan up against the wall and mashing their lips together again.
Slowly, he lets Chan go, lets him slide down until his feet touch the floor, and his hands trail to Chan's, lacing their fingers together. "No time to think, hyung." He breathes against Chan's mouth. "We have to go."
Changbin knows what he's doing, knows that if he keeps Chan moving, maintains the whirlwind around them and doesn't give him a chance to mull things over, then Chan will go with the momentum. It doesn't feel like manipulation, not when it comes from Changbin, not when this is a tactic that Chan has applied to himself many a time because sometimes you just have to do, do, do, and worry about the rest later.
They walk, nearly jog all the way back to the apartment, which is fine because it's close-by and they're covered up enough not to get recognized, but it doesn't help Chan's over-working heart. Whenever he lags, Changbin grabs his wrist and pulls, all the way to the lobby.
The elevator is the only calm moment they get, and Changbin doesn't let it create a lull; he reminds Chan what he tastes like, why they're doing this, what lies ahead.
And as promised, the apartment is blessedly empty when they arrive. Chan notices Jisung's airpods by the counter, the only indication that they left in a rush, but he doesn't have time to see anything else before he's being dragged to Changbin's bedroom.
And, fuck. He really is being dragged to Changbin's bedroom right now.
Before he can lose his nerve, Chan takes initiative and kisses first this time. If this is gonna happen, he doesn't want to to happen to him. He wants to be an active participant. Wants to give Changbin what he deserves.
Changbin nearly stumbles with the force of Chan pushing against him, but he balances them both even as he slowly steps back towards his bed. The bed he and Chan have brainstormed so much in, have talked until ungodly hours when neither can sleep, where they do end up sleeping when it gets too much and Chan is way too cozy.
They've never done this; Changbin on his back, spread legs making room for Chan in between them, hands grabbing everything they can reach as tireless lips meet again and again and again.
It takes no time at all for Chan to get so worked up he needs to actively calm down. It’s difficult, though, because he can feel Changbin so thoroughly now, all of him; strong thighs, big arms, heaving chest…
And his dick. Hard and hot and so solid against Chan’s. He’s losing his mind.
Just then, the madness gets interrupted by reality, because all his daydreaming has to come to a halt. “Wait, Bin,” Chan pulls back, tries really hard not to get distracted by the string of spit connecting their bottoms lips. “Do you have—”
It takes Changbin a bit longer than usual to complete Chan’s thought. “Oh. Lube?”
Chan nods. “Lube and condoms. I don’t have any, I—”
Before he starts spiraling, Changbin pats his chest. “I’ll steal from Hyunjin and Jisung.”
Chan exhales. He rolls over when Changbin makes to stand up. “Oh, yeah, okay. They probably have—”
Changbin stops by the doorway, looking back at Chan. He looks even better than before, in no small part thanks to the tent on his sweatpants. “Well, they sure as fuck won’t have condoms.”
Chan sits up in a rush, eyes wide. “They’re doing it raw?!”
Changbin bursts into laughter. “Oh my god. Hyung, please say those exact words with that exact expression when you talk to them about it later.” Chan isn’t sure it’s that funny, but he still lets out an exasperated chuckle. “But yeah, of course they’re doing it raw. What’s gonna happen? I’m like 90% sure Jisung can’t get pregnant.”
Chan is about to throw a pillow at Changbin’s head when he disappears down the hallway.
He knows Changbin will be back in the blink of an eye, but he still decides to take off his shirt in the meantime, and not look like he’s overthinking his entire life while sitting awkwardly on the bed. That’s not sexy.
Lube bottle in hand (peach flavored), Changbin nearly sprints back into the room. He pulls his shirt off when he sees Chan’s topless and smiles down at him as he crawls on top. “Don’t worry, though. I don’t mind the lack of condom.”
Chan didn’t think he would, but he did think he’d ask Chan about it. But it’s fine, it’s forgotten as soon as Chan feels him poking his hip again, hard and unforgiving. Chan hisses, rolls his hips up into it as Changbin kisses up his throat. “O-Okay. Fuck. Bin, you’re—” Big boy, big boy, big boy. “So big. Gonna feel so good.”
Changbin stops. Pulls away. Looks down quizzically at Chan, eyebrows meeting cutely in the middle.
It seems to hit the both of them at the same time.
“Oh. You wanted to—”
“I thought you—”
They stare at each other for three long seconds. Chan thinks he can read Changbin’s mind; he just wishes he’d been able to do it sooner. They’d talked about sex before, briefly and vaguely. It just never occurred to him he’d need to know about Changbin’s preferences.
“That’s fine, I can—”
“No, yeah, me too—”
“No, no, no, it’s okay—”
“No, I insist.”
Chan breaks into a smile. He should have known, even without asking, that Changbin truly understands him more than he ever imagined. “No, Bin. I insist. Let me, and…” He cups Changbin’s face. “And you can do it next time.”
Changbin smiles too, suddenly a little shy. It makes Chan’s heart squeeze. “Yeah?”
Chan nods. It’d be plain stupid to pretend like getting to fuck Changbin is in any way a sacrifice. Changbin leans down and claims his lips again.
Things accelerate from there. With nothing in the way between them and this future, clothes come off fast, and inhibitions do slowly. Chan’s seen Changbin’s body plenty times before, he’s touched a lot of it, too. There’s a new level of appreciation, though, when he feels pleasure so linked to it now, to the way Changbin touches him back, the way his skin, warm and smooth, feels so good under Chan’s fingertips. He’s shifting, breathing, moaning beneath Chan, and above him, and all around him, and Chan is going to explode.
The next time Chan gets Changbin on his back, he pushes a pillow under his hips, and finally forces himself to stray away from Changbin’s lips. He could kiss him for a couple more hours, Chan thinks, but they don’t have all day; he doesn’t even know how long they have.
And getting acquainted with Changbin’s cock might be just as addicting.
Chan takes him into his mouth and Changbin whines, high and pretty. Chan commits his taste to memory, the feel of him on his tongue, all the little things he wasn’t privy to before.
And when Changbin fists his hair and forces him to stop, Chan smirks and relents. “What’s the matter, big boy?” Chan teases a finger down Changbin’s taint, over his hole, thinking it’s been forever since he’s done this, but thinking that he can’t wait because it’s Changbin. “Is it too much?”
“Fuck.” Changbin’s hips twitch, seeking more. “Hyung…”
Chan hums, ruts down into the sheets to take the edge off. He gets the ridiculously scented lube and squirts so much of it it gets on the pillow, but Changbin doesn’t seem to mind. Chan remembers he has enough bed clothes to run a load of laundry later.
It’s easier than he thinks, opening Changbin up. Maybe because he’s so in control of his body and muscles, maybe because he trusts Chan, maybe because Chan is doing an okay job of it because it's much more enjoyable than any other time in the past. Chan can’t even over-think, just keeps going and kissing Changbin’s thighs, perhaps leaving a mark or two where no one will see, where it’s safe from prying eyes, all except for Chan’s.
“‘M ready…” Changbin half says, half whines. “Ready. Come on.”
Chan can’t help giggling as he rises on his knees and still keeps his fingers inside Changbin because he thinks a little more can’t hurt. “Yeah?” Changbin nods. “I’m not so sure.”
Changbin glares at him, though there’s no heat behind it. It makes Chan giggle more. “Hyung.”
“Bin.” Chan pulls almost all the way out, stops, watches Changbin hold his breath —and then pushes back in.
“Bang Chan!” Changbin slams one fist down on the bed, but can’t keep the amusement from his voice.
Chan laughs even harder, leans down to kiss Changbin’s tummy, his hipbones. He pulls his fingers out, slowly, and before he can threaten to push back in, Changbin moves lightning fast and manhandles Chan onto his back. Chan knows part of it is the nerves, but he can't stop laughing, can't help it even with Changbin holding down his arms and straddling his hips, hard dicks rubbing together.
"You're such a brat!" Changbin can't stop laughing either, chest rumbling with it. "Why are you laughing?"
"Why are you laughing?"
"Because you're a brat!"
They stay like that until their laughter dies down, at least the worst of it. Or the best of it. Chan's never laughed so much during sex.
Changbin kisses him again, sweet and gentle this time. It calms Chan's racing heart, more so when he gets his hands on Changbin's back, broad and secure and comforting. He gets so distracted that he barely notices when Changbin shifts, and it's only when he feels Changbin's fingers curl around the base of his cock that he realizes what's happening.
He takes a sharp breath in, and Changbin looks at him. "You okay?"
Chan nods, nods again. "Yeah." He nods one more time. "I just… Sorry if I don't last." He feels his ears and cheeks burn, but he wanted to give out a warning, at least. He hasn't had sex in a while, he isn't used to topping, this his is first time going at it with no condom, and it's Changbin . Everything is stacked against him.
Changbin smiles. "Cute. I don't think I'll last either, hyung."
And before Chan can say anything, Changbin spreads his knees wider and leans forward, steering Chan's dick to line up with his hole. Chan gasps, feels his eyes threatening to roll to the back of his head with Changbin's first attempt at getting Chan inside him.
He's gonna last even less than he thought.
It takes a while, plus some extra lube, but Changbin eventually manages to sink all the way down and Chan is shaking from head to toe. To be fair, so is Changbin, and the two need to take a very still moment just to get used to it all.
"You're okay?" Chan asks, hands tracing up Changbin's sides. Changbin nods, eyes closed, breathing steady. He starts moving then, rocking back and forth slowly, hands on Chan's chest for support.
Chan feels hot all over, red and flushed as he tries not to focus too much on the vice grip around his sensitive cock. It feels intense like this, skin on skin, Changbin's insides hugging him from every angle, so tight and wet. It's breathtaking to watch, though, the way Changbin gets more and more into it, speeding up slowly with every roll of his hips until he's bouncing on Chan's cock, perfect control of his body the reason why Chan might not make it through the next few minutes.
A moan gets ripped out of his throat when Changbin pulls almost all the way out and then slams back down. Feels like revenge, but the sweet kind, the kind Chan could get used to if it comes from Changbin. "Bin. Fuck. Oh my god."
Chan really was giving himself too much credit in his head. He's usually good at holding back, enduring, resisting. He's trained for it, it's his bread and butter, always keeping the simmering under control when he has to.
But he's already dangerously close to boiling point.
He couldn't have predicted that Changbin's ass would feel like all his wet dreams blended together, only even tighter, only that much more intense and raw and real. He's fighting for his life, fingers digging into Changbin's thighs and hips and failing to think of anything that could possibly buy him more time. All he feels is Changbin choking the entirety of his cock, all he hears is their moans and static, all he sees is Changbin's pecs bouncing, his cock slapping against his lower belly, his eyes losing focus and closing when he feels too good.
Chan never wants this to end, but time is ruthlessly ticking by and his loins aren't any less on fire, his balls any less drawn up, than a second ago. He needs to do something.
"Bin." He feels up Changbin's quads, makes his way up to his stomach and chest. Changbin's mouth is hanging open, skin pebbled where Chan touches him. "You looks so good. So…" He looks right into Changbin's eyes. "Big." Changbin's pupils darken, in arousal or warning, Chan can't tell. "You like that?" Chan feels sleazy asking, but its worth it if it works. "Feeling big?" Changbin is going for impassive, Chan can tell, but his little noises betray him. "My big boy."
Changbin grunts and nearly slaps a hand down over his cock, wrapping around it with deft fingers and giving himself a few strokes.
This may have backfired, because Chan can actually feel himself leak inside Changbin, emboldened and turned on out of his mind. "I like it too. How big you are. How small I feel next to you." Changbin clenches around him and Chan nearly howls. They're both being loud, and suddenly he feels a little bad for judging Jisung and Hyunjin before. "How good you feel and how strong — Fuck!"
No warning but a small gasp and Changbin is coming, right in front of Chan's eyes, thick cock spurting over his hand and belly as he keeps fucking himself on Chan. Chan thinks he hears his name among sobs of pleasure, and he holds onto his last shred of sanity for as long as he can to appreciate Changbin properly before he's off bubbling over as well. He feels the last clench of Changbin's ass that finally makes him come, throbbing and pulsing all his release deep inside, so loud to his own ears that nothing else registers. Changbin helps him ride it out and Chan holds onto his waist and wonders if he's truly ever had sex before.
His cock keeps twitching for what feels like forever, and Changbin still flutters around him from time to time even when they've stopped moving. Though drained and wrecked, Chan feels brand new, born-again.
Changbin leans forward with a grunt, letting Chan's cock slip out, and buries his face into Chan's neck. They breathe in tandem, heartbeats slowing gently. No over-thinking or panicking. Maybe there is something to this whole releasing sexual tension thing. At least with Changbin.
"I'm hungry," Changbin mumbles into his skin.
Chan giggles and squeezes his bicep. "I think we have beef. I can make some sogogi deopbap."
Changbin rolls off him and to the side. Chan immediately misses the weight on top. "Can you make it while I shower?" Changbin smiles cutely, which would have earned him a slap on the arm in any other occasion, but this time, Chan thinks he can allow himself to kiss him instead.
There's a lot that he wants to say, but also a lot that he doesn't even know if he should say. Maybe he doesn't need to check that Changbin is okay, that they're both going to be okay, when he can feel Changbin's eager lips and clutching hands all over. Maybe Chan understands Changbin just as much as Changbin understands him.
"Yeah. I can."
Cleaning up, walking around naked, putting clothes back on, none of it feels awkward or strange. It's exciting and familiar, and Chan feels so giddy that he doesn't even think about the potential consequences of anything besides getting to kiss Changbin anytime he wants now.
That is, until he and Changbin step into the living room.
Jisung and Hyunjin are there. Lazying on the couch. Legs tangled. A show playing on the TV.
Chan feels all the color drain from his face and Changbin stops in his tracks right behind him.
The four of them stare at each other for way too long. Chan can barely hear what's on TV. The volume is too low.
"You didn't tell me how long to be out," Hyunjin breaks the ice.
Changbin doesn't reply. Chan can't open his mouth even if he wanted to. Jisung starts working on the most devious smirk Chan's seen on him since he was seventeen years old.
"Fuck. Yes. Everyone owes us fifty thousand won."
Changbin turns right around and heads for the bathroom. "I'm not dealing with him under these conditions."
Color must return to Chan's face when he remembers that the conditions is Chan's cum leaking out of him.
Jisung cackles loudly, pulling out his phone, most likely to send a message to the group chat, and Hyunjin just snickers. Chan wants to ask how long they've been here but he isn't sure he wants to know.
He makes a beeline for the kitchen, but unfortunately Jisung and Hyunjin follow him.
"I promise the betting was in good faith, hyung," Hyunjin tells him, opening the fridge and grabbing two bottles of peach flavored isotonic drinks. He hands one to Jisung. "Plus, we worked for it. Jisungie doesn't actually make me that loud, but we had to create the right mood, you know."
Jisung snorts, shakes his head. "Yeah, sure. You were so faking it. That's why you came three times last night."
"Oh my god." Chan finally finds his voice. Maybe he needs to start looking into getting everyone new apartments. He'll talk to the company this week.
"Shut up, you're so embarrassing."
"And you love me." Jisung struggles to open the bottle for half a second and starts singing Big Boy, almost like a reflex. "Oops, sorry, hyung. Are you the only one allowed to sing that now?"
Chan copies Jisung's smirk as he pulls out the beef and vegetables. "No, you can sing it. Changbin's still my big boy."
Chan might as well get used to the hooting and hollering. A big boy is worth it, though.