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English
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Published:
2025-07-31
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1,349
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1/1
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Interstellar Journey (of a corpse)

Summary:

Did you know corpses don’t decompose in space?

Or: crack theory we made in December of 2024

Notes:

We were working on a project regarding Penacony and what’s its monsters mean culturally and that zoom call spiraled into this.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

It would’ve been a normal day aboard the Express.

It should’ve been a normal day aboard the Express.

Himeko, Welt, and Pom-pom were having some meeting in the Party Car. March 7th and Dan Heng were playing chess in the Parlor Car (one more successfully than the other). Stelle was doing- something. Sunday probably got dragged into whatever Stelle was up to.

They still had a few days of down time before Black Swan could get them into Amphoreus, so they were all trying to spend those days relaxing before another trailblazing journey.

Well, they should’ve been.

The door to the Party Car opened. From behind it walked out Stelle, adopting an impressively calm stride as Sunday stumbled out from behind her. March and Dan Heng looked towards the duo. Dan Heng’s eyebrows furrowed, opening his mouth to ask what happened until Sunday quickly shook his head, as though to say ‘you don’t want to know.’

That was probably for the best, because the two of them smelled like trash cans, garlic, and what was suspiciously similar to Dan Heng’s most recent science experiment. Dan Heng started to say, “Did you disturb my-?” before quickly being shut down by Sunday gesturing frantically with his hand.

Instead, March waved at them, saying, “Hey you two!” Stelle waved back, a pleasant smile on her face.

Sunday sighed, straightening his back. “Hello to you as well, Miss March, Mr. Dan Heng. How is your chess game going?”

March made a face as Dan Heng turned back to his book, though not quickly enough for the group to not catch the slight quirk of his lips. March hesitantly made another move. Dan Heng glanced at the board and, without faltering, swiftly took another of March’s pieces.

Stelle hissed sympathetically, patting March’s shoulder. “Another one bites the dust.”

The girl leaned over, groaning into the table. A moment later, she snapped her head back up, a determined look on her face. Sunday had to commend her for her efforts. You did not need to be a chess master to tell this was a losing battle.

March picked up a piece, her hand hovering over the board as she deliberated over where to place it. The group remained silent, letting March think through her options.

Which is of course when there was suddenly a loud THUD .

The group jumped and immediately turned towards the sound, staring right into soulless, unlit eyes.

March screeched.

The corpse unsympathetically did not move from where it had slammed into the window. There was no doubt in their minds that it was, in fact, a corpse—there was nothing alive that could mimic the pale, colorless skin, nor the ragged clothing, the way it was slightly bloated, and the sheer stiffness of all of its parts.

And of course, the way the eyes stared at them, unmoving and unseeing.

March was still screaming, although it had quieted down somewhat. Not in time for Himeko, Welt, and Pom-pom to not come rushing out of the Party Car, looks of concern on their face, which quickly turned into surprise as they followed their companions’ gaze towards the window.

Pom-pom sighed. “Passenger March, please stop screaming. This is a normal occurrence on the Astral Express.”

“What do you mean this is normal? Nothing about this is normal!”

“March,” Himeko gently chided. The navigator turned to the conductor. “She is right, however. I don’t believe we’ve had such an encounter during our time on the Express. Welt, can you remember anything like this?”

Welt shook his head. “No, I can’t think of any time we’ve had a- corpse crash into the window. Conductor, could you please explain what you mean?”

“Of course!” Pom-pom cleared their throat. “Back then, the Express made many more stops than it currently does. It wasn’t unusual for debris to hit the walls of the Express, and sometimes that debris was corpses. Not just human ones, but sometimes animals too. The universe is vast and large, after all. There’s bound to be some of the dead floating in space.”

Stelle made a sound that somehow communicated both curiosity and disappointment. “Honestly, I am kind of surprised we hadn’t run into any corpses yet.”

“Ok, I can understand why you aren’t that surprised about this,” March began (”What’s that supposed to mean?”), “but Dan Heng, how come you aren’t fazed?”

Dan Heng blinked, tilting his head thoughtfully. “I’m pretty sure Dan Feng has worked with these corpses before.”

“What?” Sunday asked. “Wait, no- how are you certain this corpse came from the Xianzhou Alliance?”

Dan Heng pointed to a little white floating piece of plastic tied to the corpse’s wrist. Upon closer inspection, in spite of March’s protests, Stelle confirmed it did indeed look like a medical tag, the kind an examiner or poor Alchemy Commission staff might use as an identification label.

“It wasn’t common, but occasionally the High Elder would help perform autopsies on corpses in the Alchemy Commission, usually for intel,” Dan Heng continued. “Some of them were mara-struck, and some, like this one, weren’t. My guess is this one was killed in the line of duty.”

Stelle got a look on her face. “You said the High Elder would help perform autopsies right?”

“..Yes.”

“Do you remember how he did it?”

“What are you getting at?”

Stelle’s eyes gleamed. “Do you think you could-?”

“No.”

“I didn’t even finish my question!”

“You’re gonna ask me for a demonstration, and even if I didn’t remember, my answer is no.”

“So you do remember it?”

“My answer is still no.”

“Aw,” Stelle remarked, but she didn’t look too bummed out about it. She patted her pockets, searching for something that she ultimately didn’t seem to find, turning to March to ask, “Hey March, can I borrow your camera to take a picture of the corpse?”

Said girl made an offended gasp, clutching her camera to her chest protectively. “Absolutely not! You have a phone!”

“I forgot my phone in my room! Please let me use it? Please~ ?”

March clutched her camera even tighter, shielding it from Stelle’s attempts to grab it. “No! You are not tainting my precious memory with- with a corpse !”

Stelle, completely undeterred, continued to reach for March’s camera. March, just as unwilling to relinquish it, continued to keep her camera out of her friend’s grasp. It was almost mesmerizing the way they danced around each other, until Stelle ruined the moment by glomping her friend, who by sheer force of will kept her camera safe from grubby hands.

They ended up in a stalemate, wrestling the other on the floor for the camera.

Himeko crouched onto the floor, not quite able to hide her amused smile. “Alright you two, break it up. Stelle, you can use my phone if you want.”

At the sound of Himeko’s offer, Stelle swiftly got off of March and stood up, dusting herself off. As promised, Himeko handed her phone off to Stelle, who turned towards the window to take a picture.

Unfortunately, all her hopes were dashed in an instant, for the corpse was nowhere to be seen. Dan Heng helpfully explained, “It slid off while the two of you were wrestling. It’s probably long gone by now.”

Stelle returned Himeko’s phone to its owner, though, admittedly, not without putting on the saddest, most pathetic puppy dog look the universe had ever seen. March felt her heartstrings tug, this close to apologizing to Stelle-

-until the menace said, “Aw. I wanted to take a picture and put it on my desk.”

All remorse melted away. March lunged for Stelle with full intent to strangle her. Stelle ducked under March’s arms, and it quickly devolved into a wild goose chase, with Stelle escaping into the Party Car and March in hot pursuit.

Welt sighed. “Dan Heng, could you-?”

“Got it.” Dan Heng got up from his seat and followed the girls to make sure they didn’t wreck the Express- or themselves, honestly.

Sunday watched the door close behind Dan Heng. “Is this.. normal?”

Himeko grinned. “Welcome to the Astral Express.”

 

Notes:

We are so sane.