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The moon is so big it seems to span the rooftops of two of the buildings across the street. It fills up the window and basks their slice of the apartment in bright white-blue light. It’s so pretty. More so reflecting off Kageyama’s pale skin. He seems to glow. A different Hinata might joke about checking for angel wings.
Kageyama is certainly no angel, but he is beautiful when he’s relaxed and doesn’t know he’s being stared at.
Hinata is suddenly quite homesick. He misses this moment even as he’s living it. He wants to claw back every second of it that passes. He thinks that coming home might have been a mistake. It’s a long flight and how on Earth could he leave again when he has this waiting for him here? He thinks he should not have booked this trip, but then he reminds himself that he needed to talk to Kenma and it needed to be in person. Please give me a few million yen is not the sort of request you text. The jet lag and the deeper awareness of what he was missing out on back here is one thing, but he will never realize the opportunity he has in Brazil without securing a sponsorship.
It’s in this moment, this mental state, that Hinata makes a critical mistake.
Kageyama yawns. His hand is on Hinata’s arm. A single tug against Hinata’s elbow. His voice is soft. Not a whisper, but barely a murmur. “Dumbass, come back to bed.”
“I’m still in bed,” Hinata points out.
“You sleep sitting up now?”
Fine, he thinks, trying not to reward Kageyama with a smile. He settles back down on his side and props his head up. “Better?”
Kageyama opens one eye and stares at him—studies him, in fact. Over time, Hinata has learned to read the slightest signals from his partner. Even in the darkness, he sees how Kageyama’s gaze lingers. His expression doesn’t change, but it’s clear what he appreciates. Now Hinata smiles, nudges the bedsheet casually so that it pools lower on his hip. He can’t help it. It’s kind of fun to be oogled. Especially since Kageyama always does it in the most begrudging and subtle way. He reaches forward and cups Kageyama’s face, fingertips rubbing the scalp just behind his ear.
Kageyama sighs and closes his eyes. “You going up tomorrow or the day after?”
“Day after.”
“Not a lot of time.”
“Family is best in small doses,” Hinata says. “Natsu, especially.”
Kageyama chuckles. “She’s not that bad.”
“She’s not your little sister.” He adjusts his position and puts his head back on the pillow. “Anyway I’ll go up there, spend the night, then celebrate New Year’s with them and spend the night before coming back here the day after. That’s a perfectly acceptable amount of family time.”
“Mmmm … me too.”
Kageyama’s eyes are still closed and for a moment Hinata assumes that he’s not really listening and has responded incoherently because of that. “Me too?” he echoes.
“Yeah… Miwa and I are going up the day after. We should all go together.”
“Oh … right, sure. I haven’t seen your sister in … God, years? Sure, that sounds nice.”
”I think she wants to head back in the evening on New Year’s Day, though.”
“Is there even a train?”
“Mm. Not sure I want to, though. Seems stressful.”
They fall silent. There doesn’t seem to be anything more to say, and Hinata doesn’t want to give Kageyama the satisfaction of complaining that he was kept up all night by Hinata’s babbling. He tries to close his eyes and fall back asleep, but he finds himself again and again watching Kageyama and checking to see that he’s correctly memorized every part of his face.
“Although…” Kageyama says.
“Hm?”
“I’m not sure I want to hang out with my family that long either.”
“Omae…Weren’t you just lecturing me about that?”
Kageyama opens his eyes halfway. “That’s different. You live in Brazil. Don’t get to see them all the time.”
“Hmmm… I suppose so—Well, why don’t you come to my house when you get sick of family time?”
Kageyama looks startled by the offer and that’s how Hinata realizes his mistake. Not that he doesn’t mean it. It’s just … Kageyama has met his family but not … met them officially. Truth be told, Hinata doesn’t know how to broach the subject, but he is sure that Kageyama just showing up on New Year’s Day would seem weird.
And yet… He doesn’t want to take it back either.
“Why not?” he says. “That’s what people do, right? Spend the day paying New Year’s visits to family and friends. You can come over. I’m sure Mom and Natsu would love to see you.”
He thinks that’s also true, even as Kageyama frowns—his lower lip puffed out enough for it to seem like a pout.
Anyway, Hinata won’t back down now. Because he’s never been able to back down when it came to Kageyama.
“You should totally, absolutely, come over. It will be fun!”
Kageyama stares at him and rubs his lips together slowly. This time, Hinata has no idea what he might be thinking. Not even when he rolls over so that his back is to Hinata and says casually, “I’ll think about it.”
* * * * * *
No one is more surprised than Hinata when Kageyama does, in fact, come over. Actually, that’s not true. Of all of them, Kageyama seems the most surprised. It’s as if aliens abducted him and dropped him off at Hinata’s family home with an adorable gift box of fruit jellies.
It’s pretty late—eight o’clock at night. So perhaps it’s less that Kageyama did not realize he was coming over and more that he miscalculated how long it would take him to get here and now isn’t sure if it’s appropriate for him to be here. Hinata grabs his wrist and jerks him inside before he can change his mind.
“Happy New Year! Come in, come in!”
Kageyama looks a little flushed and mutters “Happy New Year” under his breath with a shallow bow. It always amuses Hinata when Kageyama does such things out of habit. The routine, mechanical way he says, “Sorry for imposing—”
“What are you talking about?” Hinata sighs, ushering him inside. “We still have plenty of food, come on.”
* * * * * *
“You can’t refuse. It’s for good luck.”
“Good health, dumbass.”
“Even better, drink, drink. The whole family won’t have good health unless the entire household toasts.”
“Natsu isn’t drinking.”
Hinata’s mock outrage is perhaps overplayed. “Natsu is a minor!”
“Shoyo, stop bullying your friend.”
“I’m not bullying him! I’m trying to wish him a year of good health.”
“Che, dumbass.”
“It’s tradition. Don’t pout.”
“I AM NOT POUTING.”
* * * * * *
“Neh… Kageyama?”
“Mm?”
“Otoso to me.”
It is in bad taste to laugh so hard at your own jokes, but it isn’t like he could help it when Kageyama made a face like that. Hinata is helpless against the giggle fit. Especially when Kageyama reaches forward and pours them both another cup of sake each.
It goes down smooth and he just can’t help himself, choking on his laugh, but not his big cheeky grin. He says, “One more. Otoso to me.”
Kageyama rolls his eyes.
* * * * * *
Something Hinata had learned in Brazil was that he metabolized alcohol pretty quickly. His face got super red (embarrassingly so! Almost as red as his hair) and he felt floaty and buzzed, everything became hilarious, every touch felt amazing, but it settled down after an hour or so as long as he didn’t overdo it. And he didn’t overdo it.
Kageyama on the other hand…
“Maaa,” Hinata whines. “Come on, you’re heavy…”
Kageyama mumbles something hot in his ear that runs straight up Hinata’s spine, even though he can’t understand it. The setter’s arm is thrown over his shoulder and Hinata is literally dragging him into his bedroom. He’s not convinced this is necessary. “How can you still be this drunk?”
“Shut up,” Kageyama mutters.
He leads them into his old bedroom, which still has most of his stuff in it and sits Kageyama down on the bed.
“Don’t fall asleep,” he says as Kageyama yawns. Not that this seems to help. Kageyama almost immediately curls up and rests his head on Hinata’s pillow.
“Don’t fall asleep,” Hinata says again.
“‘M not asleep.”
“I’m setting up the futon. Don’t fall asleep.”
“I won’t.”
“It’s a bit bigger than the bed, so you’re actually getting the better part of the deal.”
“Mmmm…”
It takes him only a few minutes to get Kageyama’s sleeping arrangements set up and ready, but by the time he looks over again, Kageyama has closed his eyes and is breathing slowly.
“Oi Kageyama…” No response. “Kageyama…” Hinata slides to the edge of the bed. “Kageyama-kun.”
He looks so peaceful. Hinata considers just letting him have the bed and sleeping on the futon instead. It would be the nice thing to do. It would also be the last thing Kageyama would ever do if their situations were reversed. Kageyama would knock him off the bed, and if he landed flat on his face, that was Hinata’s problem. He’d probably roll over without a second thought.
“Kageyama-kun,” he repeats, brushing his hand through Kageyama’s dark hair. When Kageyama’s eyes open suddenly, it is startling enough to make Hinata jerk back. He lands on his butt, splayed open a bit.
“Jeez,” Hinata recovers. “Kageyama, you sleep down here.”
Kageyama grunts in response and turns his head. Hinata starts plotting out his reasoning for why he couldn’t let Kageyama have the bed, but Kageyama sighs and drags himself up and off the bed. Unfortunately, he drags himself up and off the bed and on top of Hinata.
At first, it doesn’t seem intentional. Almost like he flopped down onto the futon and Hinata just happened to be there.
But then he doesn’t exactly make an effort to move. And his hands… His touch is cold and slipping up under Hinata’s shirt. Then his mouth is sucking lightly on the crook of Hinata’s neck in a way that sets Hinata’s body on fire.
“Hey, hey—” Hinata whispers. His hand flat against Kageyama’s back like he is trying to ground him into reality. “Stop that. We can’t do that here.”
“Why not?” Kageyama murmurs. He seems very awake now and he’s almost pouting, which is … well, it certainly tests Hinata’s self-control.
“Because you’re drunk, dummy. That wouldn’t be right.”
Kageyama stares at him like he is speaking in a foreign language. He seems to be thinking it all through carefully, double-checking and triple-checking Hinata’s work for flaws. Finally, he just shrugs and settles back down on the futon like he’s entirely lost interest in Hinata.
Except he’s still partially on top of Hinata, nudging his nose against Hinata’s neck and muttering something.
It’s a shame … he’s so pliant and receptive. That’s really kind of hot. But no, no, no. It would be wrong. Hinata knows it would be wrong. They could maybe kiss a little. That would probably be okay. But anything more would be wrong.
“Look, tomorrow we go back to Tokyo and I promise I’ll fuck you senseless,” Hinata says nervously.
Kageyama purrs in his ear at the suggestion.
Oh God, oh God, oh God, Oh GOD.
“No, seriously. We should stop and get a pack of sports drink to make sure you stay hydrated.”
This time, Kageyama scoffs. His eyes have drifted closed and Hinata thinks to himself that if he humors him enough he will probably fall asleep.
When he tries to pull himself out from under Kageyama, he finds Kageyama’s arms wrapped around his waist stubbornly and no amount of squirming can seem to extract himself. He will simply have to wait for Kageyama to fall asleep … or else annoy him until this uncharacteristic urge to cuddle passes.
He doesn’t know who kissed whom first. He knows that the spice from the sake is still on Kageyama’s lips and that the air is cold around him but hot in between them. They could be huddling for warmth if not for the kisses. He loves how Kageyama hums when Hinata licks the inside of his mouth. A spacey, blissed-out moan that makes Hinata blink open his eyes to see if Kageyama’s are still closed. He goes cross-eyed trying to focus enough to see Kageyama’s expression without pulling away. He thinks if they spend the whole night kissing, that’s probably just fine.
What stops him is insecurity. He wonders if he’s making a fool of himself. Kageyama hasn’t called him an idiot once, and Kageyama’s love language is definitely insults and condescension. He is clearly not in his right mind … but will he remember this later? Is he that drunk? And if he does remember it later … he’d be okay with it, right? This really isn’t that different from what they do normally.
He pushes his boyfriend away gently. “Kage—Kageyama, not here.” He means to whisper but ends up hissing it. “Kageyama,” he tries again. “Natsu’s room is next door and the walls are really thin.”
Kageyama pulls back far enough to frown like his eyes are not focusing correctly. “Uh?”
“Sleep … okay? Just … sleep.”
Kageyama stares dumbly at him for far too long. Hinata wonders if he’s heard, and if he’s heard why he’s not responding. Inside his head, his inner thoughts are babbling a thousand reassurances and justifications and the longer Kageyama goes on without saying anything the more likely one of those thoughts will come out as words. Once he’s said one, he knows he’ll have to pull all the other strings too.
Finally, Kageyama says, “Okay,” and puts his head on Hinata’s shoulder.
Hinata wants to clarify that he did not mean that Kageyama should sleep on top of him, but at this point, it seems more sensible to just hold him and wait for him to drift off. Kageyama seems to like having Hinata’s arms around him—and how rare is that?! Hinata has always known it, but Kageyama almost never admits it. Cuddles are very much an afterglow thing … and even then, begrudgingly.
“This is a nice house,” Kageyama sighs. “My grandfather had a house like this.”
“Oh yeah?” Hinata hums sweetly. “I don’t know,” he replies, pushing a stray lock of Kageyama’s dark hair back into place. “Sure, it’s a nice house, but it’s a little out of the way.”
“We would just get a car, dumbass.” A yawn. “It would be fine.”
Dumbass. Ah, Hinata knew it couldn’t last. Still, there’s something very reassuring about the insult.
“Would it?” he asks, only half paying attention. “Are we moving back here, Kageyama-kun?”
Kageyama doesn’t seem to hear. Instead, he mutters, “I don’t think they can hire two…”
“Who?”
“You’d have to teach … you’d make a good teacher. Better than me anyway.”
“Kageyama, what are you talking about?”
Another yawns. “Karasuno.”
“You think I should go teach at Karasuno?”
“Mm-Hmm… Like Takeda-sensei.”
“Yes…” Hinata squirms. “Takeda-sensei was a teacher at Karasuno…” Then it hits him. Suddenly, it’s so obvious what Kageyama is talking about. “You want to coach volleyball at Karasuno together?”
Kageyama opens his eyes but his lashes look like they are weighing him down. He grunts affirmatively and closes his eyes again, as if checking that Hinata was still there.
“Not now,” he says. “Obviously.”
“Right.” Hinata brushes his hand through Kageyama’s hair now in earnest. He can’t help smiling. Drunk Kageyama is sweet and doesn’t interrupt and swat away affectionate touches. Drunk Kageyama seems to talk openly about his feelings too. How much luckier is he going to get? “But wouldn’t you rather coach on the pro level or for Team Japan?”
Kageyama shrugs. “…no fun.”
“You think so?”
“Would be too sad about not playing.”
“Hmm. I guess … probably. I agree. It would be hard not being able to go out there and do it yourself. So you want to move back here when you retire and live in a house like this and coach volleyball at Karasuno? Anything else? Do we have kids too?”
Kageyama makes a face of displeasure and discomfort, but pulls closer so that he can bury his face in the nook between Hinata’s neck and shoulder.
“Do you think about this a lot?” Hinata asks, nearly whispers.
“It gets stressful sometimes.”
So this was what Kageyama daydreams about when the realities of his glamorous life got him down. His little fantasy, and Hinata was in it. He rubs Kageyama’s back as the setter groans. “You going to puke?”
Kageyama shakes his head. But he looks a little green.
“You look like you’re going to puke,” Hinata says. “Don’t do it on me, okay?”
“Only morons and children throw up on other people,” Kageyama growls and—Ah!—Hinata feels strangely nostalgic. That was the kind of feelings-hurt-too-quickly response he usually gets from Kageyama.
“Hey, I’ve thrown up on people—”
“I rest my case.”
Kageyama closes his eyes again and seems very content. It’s charming, Hinata thinks. He tries to imagine what it would be like to live in a house like this (not exactly this one, that would be too strange). He tries to imagine them cooking for each other and having more than one room to buy furniture for. He tries to imagine making friends in the neighborhood and hanging out with other couples. He tries to imagine how that would all work, what he wants for his own future when he’s done playing, what he could possibly teach in Karasuno High School—
“I want a dog,” Hinata muses.
“Idiot,” A sigh. “What would you do with a dog in Rio?”
“Not in Rio. In your fantasy world. We should have a dog.”
Another light groan. “No.”
“You a cat person then?”
“No.”
“Then why not?”
“Because you won’t take care of it.”
Hinata scoffs. “What, am I five? Of course I will take care of it!”
“Mghh…”
“And I don’t know about you, but I plan to play volleyball professionally until I’m in my fifties. So you’ll have to wait a while to come back here and coach! Either coach alone or maybe become my manager and travel around with me.”
Kageyama yawns so wide that it seems like he might dislocate his jaw in the process. “Okay,” he mumbles as he settles his head on the pillow instead of Hinata’s shoulder.
“Okay?”
“Okay, I’ll be your manager.”
He thought it was sweet how romantic Kageyama was and how completely committed he was to vigorously denying that fact. He knew that would never change. That they could move back here and grow old together coaching high school volleyball teams and Kageyama would still regularly call him a dumbass and wince when forced to admit when Hinata had done something right.
“Really?” He stretches and overpronounces the sound, which makes the bridge of Kageyama’s nose crinkle as he frowns. Spacey, cuddly, drunk but still annoyed at being teased.
“Yeaaaah … why not? I’d finally get to make you stop doing stupid things and focus like you should. Easy.”
Hinata laughs. That sounded a lot like Kageyama just getting paid to yell at him and call him an idiot all the time. Which he was currently doing for free! “Sure … but you need to tell everyone else how amazing I am. That’s a big part of what a manager does.”
He thinks Kageyama probably doesn’t hear. His lips are parted and his eyes are closed. He’s probably asleep. His cheeks are a little flushed, lashes resting dark against his skin. His mouth has that slight frown it always does, like even in sleep he’s concentrating too hard. One hand is curled under his pillow, the other flopped loosely near his chest. Hinata is tempted to wiggle under it. He’s sure Kageyama will accommodate, even if it’s only subconsciously. He pulls Hinata into his arms as soon as he senses, burying his nose in Hinata’s hair, breathing deeply like a scenting animal. It’s nice. Hinata closes his eyes too. As he drifts off, he feels Kageyama nibble lightly on his ear and say:
“Meh…. That’s easy. You are amazing.”