Chapter Text
The first couple years of life as a hunter had been rough for Mira. The training itself wasn't really the problem, she loved the feeling of exhaustion after a good long workout and learning to summon sick ass magic weapons? Yeah that fucking ruled. Dancing and designing her own choreography? Amazing. And the other two girls—Rumi and Zoey—she got along with them fine, that is until her heat in a while broke through her suppressants. For two years it had been fine, well survivable at least. But good things never lasted for Mira.
Mira had hated her body since her first heat, since the moment her mother had explained it. Loss of control? Her body turning into a pathetic bowl of needy soup? No fucking thanks.
Every time someone called her an omega Mira wanted to rip their fucking head off.
The way others looked at her. Like she was made to be used, like she was meat meant only for consumption. It made Mira want to crawl out of her own skin. Her body started changing during puberty, and it was the first time her mom actually seemed happy about anything related to Mira. Now she would be the perfect docile girl, the perfect little bride.
Absolutely fucking not.
At 13 Mira went after the scent gland in her neck in her families bathroom. Door locked, paring knife in hand. She wasn’t an idiot about it. Collected all the supplies she would need, sharpened the knife first. This was surgery. Mira cleaned the blade and the skin around the gland with isopropyl alcohol. She laid out the med kit and put some dark towels down on the ground. Then, biting down onto a piece of cloth Mira started to cut.
The pain was sharp and immediate. Mira almost fell over instantly, her knees going weak. Blood sprayed out of the cut she had made. Was she to low? Did she hit an artery?
Shit shit shit.
Blood was fucking everywhere. It was so bright and warm. Each breath came more wild then the last, fuck. She couldn’t do it, not now, not laying on the ground. Mira scrabbled for a bandage and pressed it to the open wound. The bandage soaked through in seconds. Shit.
She was really going to have to call an ambulance wasn’t she?
Mira swore. The sound hardly escaped her lips. This was the last thing the girl wanted. God her parents were never going to let this go, they were going to be so mad.
When the ambulance pulled up Mira tried to sneak into it. But of course her mother noticed, kinda hard to hide a wailing siren. And of course the bitch got into the ambulance and the stupid medics let her. Family. What an idiotic concept.
Family just meant people who got to control you. Because they made you they owned you. Mira hated it. She hated them. And now here she was being wheeled into the stupid fucking omega hospital wing. Because of course you cant just treat everyone like people. Because she wasn’t a person, she was something to be taken.
And so, years later, when the heat hit. After two years of suppressants. When it broke through and Zoey offered to help her build a nest and Rumi offered to bring her water, Mira just snapped. Suddenly she was no longer a hunter or an idol. No now she was just something to be protected, to be taken, to be claimed. She wasn’t their friend anymore she was just meat.
And yeah, maybe she over reacted. Maybe the screaming was to much, maybe punching Rumi’s stupid pretty arrogant face was a step to far. But what else could she do?
Even if it killed Mira she could not let that happen again. She couldn’t.
Mira fled to the specialized heat chambers they had on the floor below. Locked herself in one of the rooms and turned on the air. Soon a speaker was screaming out her angriest heavy metal tracks and Mira had a knife in her hand again. It fucking sucked. She hated how her body betrayed her like this, how she lashed out at her friends. At her new family. Mira needed to fix this.
This time she would do it right.
This time Mira would fix herself.
Zoey was loosing her mind.
Thirty minutes ago Mira had lost it. In a single moment the taller woman had gone from a little tired and crabby to screaming her head off. And the worst part was Zoey had no idea what she did wrong.
All she wanted to do was help. Zoey always wanted to help, needed to really. She needed so desperately to be enough. If not for anyone else, then at least for her friends. But now, when Mira needed her most, Zoey had failed. Again.
She wasn’t enough. Never enough, never enough, never eno—
“Zoey,” Rumi grabbed her shoulder snapping Zoey out of her spiral, “hey talk to me.”
Rumi held an icepack to the fresh bruise on her cheek. The hit had been hard, Mira could really punch, but Zoey had never seen her leader so much a drop a single tear at pain.
“How’s my little turtle doing?”
“Bad,” Zoey sniffled.
“I’m sorry Mira yelled at you like that, I know you hate getting yelled at.”
Zoey shook her head, it wasn’t that.
“I just wanted to help.”
“I know.”
“I d-dont,” and the tears started flowing, “I don’t even know what I did wrong.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong Zo. No, don’t start trying to argue this. You were trying to help, there's nothing wrong with that. This probably has to do with Mira’s parents, something set her off. Mira doesn’t just lash out like that for no reason.”
Zoey knew Rumi was right. They had only known each other for a few years but it already felt like a life time. Celine said it was normal, for hunters to bond like this. And bond they had.
And Mira, she was so sweet once you got past her walls. Mira loved them in subtle ways. Favorite snacks showed up in the cupboard unannounced. A hot bath was already run after a long day of training. The brand new game she wanted sitting on her desk. Mira’s love was one of intimate knowledge, and she knew how much Zoey hated yelling
Rumi massaged Zoey’s shoulder.
“How about I go check on her and you order some food from her favorite place. Here, we can use the company card for this.”
Zoey nodded, she wouldn’t cry again. She would order the food, she would be helpful. In a few minutes Zoey had the order called in, she knew all her girls favorite spots and all their favorite orders. Everything would be fine.
Then Rumi screamed so loud it rippled through the honmoon.
Zoey was flying down the stairs before she could even think. The elevator would take to long. She took each flight in a single jump and slammed into the door. Bursting into the hallway that led to their private heat chambers.
Blood. It was the first thing that registered. Rumi was kneeling half inside Mira’s chamber. The door lay battered and broken off its hinges on the floor, she didn’t have time to wonder how Rumi ripped it off. Because all she could see was the blood pooling around Mira.
Rumi was pressing a towel into the side of Mira’s neck. It was already soaking through. Blood was everywhere. Bright red. Blood.
“Zoey,” Rumi was screaming her name.
Zoey blinked.
“Call an ambulance.”
Zoey tried to breath. There was so much blood.
“Zoey look at me, I need you to breath. In and out.”
How was Rumi so calm?
So much blood.
“Zoey I need you to call 119. Take out your phone. Good job. Dial 1-1-9. Put it on speaker.”
Zoey followed the orders, it was all she could do. God she was pathetic. What a sad fucking excuse for an alpha. She was supposed to protect them, to take care of them. But she couldn’t act, could hardly think. All Zoey could do was stare at the blood.
Rumi was talking to the emergency dispatcher in clipped rapid bursts. Hard details. Address, injury, floor number, access codes. No they could not move her. No, no one could meet them at the door.
That should be Zoey. That should be her. She should be down waiting at the door, she should be helping. But she can’t she is never enough.
Rumi won’t look at her. And some part of Zoey knows its because she is keeping Mira alive and talking to the dispatcher. But that part of the brain is drowned out by the voice she always hears. The one that always came to whisper to Zoey late at night while her parents fought. Her oldest friend.
Failed. You failed again. You can’t even help. Can’t even move, because of what? Some blood? What a pathetic hunter. Useless.
To much when they don’t need you and not enough when they do. Look at Rumi. That’s what an alpha is supposed to be. She’s a leader. You? You can’t even get her towels. Mira is going to die. She is going to bleed out and die and it is your fault.
Do you think Rumi will stay with Mira gone?
Of course she won’t. Why would she want you? Why would she stay? Your parents didn’t. You were never enough for them. They loved each other before you came and ruined it. To much for your first family and now you are to much for your second. This is all your fault after all. Mira came down here alone because of you. If you had said the right thing she never would have left. She would still be breathing.
You should do the world a favor and join her. Let Rumi find new hunters. Ones that aren’t weak. Ones that can see blood and not fall apart. Do you really think you can stand up and fight demons if you can't even stand the sight of blood?
EMT workers were there all of a sudden. She hadn’t even noticed them enter the room.
Mira was strapped onto a stretcher. Bandages pressed into her throat. Someone was talking. Someone was saying something to her. And then they left, running out the door and Rumi went with them. And that felt right.
Rumi should leave. It was for the best.
Zoey didn’t know how much time had passed when Bobby burst into the room. He pulled her into a hug and wrapped a blanket around her shoulders. How long had she been shivering?
Water was pressed into her hands. Zoey drank, big sloppy gulps spilling half of it on her shirt. The blood was still there. She couldn’t look away.
“Zoey.” He grabbed her shoulders and turned her head to look at him, “hey superstar. I need you to breathe with me OK? Just follow me, in, and out. Good. Just like that. Keep breathing with me. No don’t look over there. Keep your eyes on me and breath. In, hold, and out.”
“M-Mira?” The words were a whisper on her lips.
“She’s alive, she made it to the hospital.”
Zoey burst into tears and Bobby wrapped her up in another hug.
“I know. I know. Let it all out Zoey.”
“I-I, n-n-need to…”
“I know Zoey, you need to go to the hospital. I do to, I’m going to take you there but I need you to keep breathing and drink the rest of that water. Can you do that superstar?”
Zoey drank.
The drive to the hospital didn’t feel real. Bone deep exhaustion took her as she sank into the seat next to Bobby. The world was a blur around her. He was still talking but Zoey couldn’t here him.
When they got to the ER Bobby gently took her hand and led the way. He talked to the front desk and then tenderly guided Zoey through the crisp white halls. The overly sterile smell clung to Zoey. All she could do was hold onto Bobby and keep walking.
They found Rumi outside the operating room sitting and Celine pacing. When Rumi saw them she pushed herself up as if standing was the hardest thing in the world and stumbled over to Zoey.
Her leader’s face was tear stained wracked with fear. Oh. It wasn’t just Zoey.
Rumi fell into Zoey’s arms and buried her face in Zoey’s shoulder. Quiet sobs tore through Rumi. Zoey tightened her grip. Her nails dug into Rumi’s back. They both clung to each other and cried their hearts out.