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To say you were confused, would be putting it lightly. The turmoil was set in your bones, and it was giving you a constant headache. You just couldn’t wrap your thoughts around it. He had kissed you, and then he had disappeared. Alastor, the fucking Radio Demon, ceased to make himself known in Hell, his favorite playground. By all means, it didn’t make any sense. You would have expected him to tease you, or ignore you entirely, but to make himself scarce entirely?
Unfortunately, it became apparent rather quickly, that you weren’t the only one deeply aware of his absence. The others had been quiet for the first few days, but when it became clear he was gone for nearly five days, questions started popping up.
At first, it was gentle ribbing from Angel, hiding his genuine concern behind jokes. Then it was Husk with his strange staring, and Vaggie with her constant glances at every shadow, as if he would just jump out of the next one. Then it was Charlie, and she was impossible to avoid. Her genuine concern and the expressions she made pulled on your heartstrings, and you were forced to tell her everything.
She had cornered you in the hallway, and the scrunch of her eyebrows made it clear that she wasn’t going to back down. You could only sigh, and you nodded your head down the hall. You weren’t going to talk about it somewhere everyone could see you.
“Come on, might as well go somewhere private. My room okay?” You asked it, not even meeting her eyes. How could you, when it felt like you were to blame for everything. (Was your animosity too much for him? Or is it that you gave in to his request at all? Your chest ached. If you fucked things up for the hotel, you were going to give up).
Charlie nodded, her eyes shining with that ever present kindness. The two of you walked in silence, not daring to distract from the obvious issue at hand. When the door to your room finally shut, and you’d settled on your bed, and Charlie in your chair –the chair he’d lingered in that first night– you let out a sigh.
“How much do you know,” you started. Exhaustion was creeping into your bones; the idea of the conversation wearing you down. You picked at a loose thread on your shirt, and waited.
Charlie’s face scrunched up, her nose twitching as emotions crossed her face. “I know some. There’s something between you and Alastor, even if I’m not sure what.” She laughed softly, as if in disbelief. “If I wasn’t so sure I knew him on at least a surface level, I’d say he has a crush on you.”
You winced. It was… too close to home.
Her eyebrows rose, and her jaw dropped, just a tad. “Wait, that can’t be it. Come on! He’s been acting like such a child.” Then you watched as if something clicked for her. “ Oh, oh geez. He definitely does.”
You wanted to deny it, because surely his constant attempts to bother you were evidence to the contrary, but wouldn’t it just make sense? He wasn’t well known for his emotional range, he must have been deeply confused.
Charlie whispered your name, and pulled you in for a hug.
“I’m sorry, Charlie,” you whispered, roughly. Something sharp was scratching your throat. You couldn’t figure out what it was. “It’s been very confusing.”
She pulled back, holding you by your shoulders. “Tell me everything.”
And so you did, with twisting hands, and knit eyebrows. Charlie frowned at the mention of your heat, and how Alastor had just shown up. But smiled and covered her cheeks at how he treated you. Rolled her eyes at the teasing that followed. Frowned at you for how angry you were. Gasped softly at the events of the night he left.
“I just… I’m not sure what he wanted. He’s so confusing. I’ve genuinely hated him this whole time, and I thought it was mutual. Now that I’m realizing it might have been very one-sided… I’m not sure how to feel. I’m still angry at how he treated me, but if it wasn’t malicious? I don’t know.” You ran a hand through your hair, ears folding back at the uncertainty you were feeling.
“I think you should talk to him,” Charlie said, her expression soft.
“I know. I just haven’t been able to find him,” you replied. You scratched at your neck, as you told her, “I’ve stopped by his radio tower a few times, and he’s never there.”
Charlie’s lips twisted as she thought of what to do. Her brows raised and she gave a grin. “I know! Next time I see him, because he has to come back to work sometime , I’ll force him to talk to you.”
You frowned at her, a little confused. “It’s Alastor. How can you possibly force him to talk to me?”
She just smiled, and flicked her blonde hair. “You leave that to me. I’ll text you when it’s time.”
Your phone buzzed only a few days later. You still hadn’t seen a sign of Alastor anywhere, but you were trusting in Charlie. When the text came, it was short.
“Third floor storage closet. Go inside, and wait with the light off.”
So you climbed the stairs, found the little closet full of out of date cleaning products, and stood in the fair corner, leaning against some shelves. It was only a few minutes later when you heard the soft thuds of footsteps.
“Really, my dear?” You heard. Your heart thumped in your chest. Alastor! She had actually nabbed him. “Are you sure I can’t just–”
“Yes! It’s a sign of effort! I know there was some of that Ozzy’s Stain Remover in there last time I was in there. Just grab it for me, and we can clean the couches off.”
You could hear Alastor huff, but clearly he complied, as the door opened, and there he was. You couldn’t see his face very well, but he seemed the same as always.
He reached for the string for the light, when suddenly he lurched forward, and the door slammed shut.
“WHA- What in the devil are you doing, Charlie?” He turned his head toward the door, and knocked on it. “You know I can just pop up back out there, right, my dear?”
“No! You two are going to talk! Don’t make me make you!” Charlie’s voice was muffled further, and it seemed like she had stepped back from the door.
“Talk? Whatever could you be-” He spotted you. “Oh.” He grabbed the string, and tugged. Yellow light flooded over the small space, and you could more easily see his expression. He looked tired. His smile was tight, and the bags under his eyes were rough.
“Oh, hello, dear. What a surprise, to see you here.” His voice was quieter than normal, and the normal undercurrent of static was absent.
“Hah, yeah. Charlie helped me.” You shrugged. “You’ve been gone a while.”
“Oh, yes. I needed a short vacation, it seems.” His brows grew tight. “I was having too many strange dreams.” He let out a bitter laugh.
“They go away?” You let your gaze catch his, and his smile shrunk.
“No. No they didn’t.”
You swallowed roughly, and rocked on your heels. You weren’t sure what to say. What was there to say? Were you just going to stand here, and let this opportunity run away?
Alastor turned and made for the door, as if to answer your question. You caught his arm, trying to keep your grasp loose. He snapped his head around, staring down at the offending fingers.
“I’m sorry.” You said. “I’m not sure what made you run away, but I’m sorry.” You let go of him. He locked his eyes on your fingers, following them as they twitched. His expression was unreadable.
He snorted, derisively. “No, no. It wasn’t you. That was all me.” He gestured at himself, glaring at the door.
“I thought that you hated me. I hated you, and it colored everything that you did. I was so sure you hated me too.”
His brows rose. “No, I don’t hate you.” His fingers twitched and fiddled with each other, as he mulled over his words. “I wanted your attention, desperately. I wasn’t sure why, but I wanted it, and you wouldn’t give it to me. I tried everything, and all you would do was glare. I wasn’t sure why it bothered me so, but it did.”
Alastor’s smile grew tighter, and his pupils shrunk. “And then we- that night. It was the first time I had ever genuinely desired such a thing. I know it was likely the rut, but I had never wanted to touch another person out of anything other than boredom.” He turned his gaze to you. “Our performance was exemplary! And suddenly, all this desperation for your attention changed. I wanted nothing more than your gaze, and your touch. Hah! How foolish.”
He breathed in sharply. “You were clear from the beginning. I just wanted to feel it once more, before purging myself of this awful feeling.”
You frowned, and you sighed. “Did you manage to? You know, get rid of it?”
He merely shook his head, his expression telling you everything. “How could I ever? Even your ire feels better than nothing. How pathetic I have become.”
He leaned against the door, his head thumping back, and his ears slumping forward. Looking at him, so defeated and confused, it made your chest burn. You didn’t like him, but was hate really what you felt? How could you, when he seemed so pathetic when facing feelings?
“We can try again,” You said, quietly. His ears perk, and his eyes turn to you. “We can start from square one. Pretend that none of this happened. You try and be more clear with me, about how you feel, and I stop acting like all you are doing is with ill-intent. We try to be friends, and we go from there. If by the next time heat happens, everything is good to go, then we turn to each-other. I’ll let you in, and you won’t run away.” Your eyes were locked on him, reading every change in his expression. His brows rose, and his smile softened. His eyes held surprise, and his ears twitched.
“I can do that,” He said, softly.
“Alright.” You took in a deep breath, and stood straight. You held out your hand, waiting for him to take it. “Nice to meet you, I’m new to the hotel.” You gave him your name, and smiled.
He smiled widely, and straightened himself up. He grasped your hand, taking it gently. “Nice to meet you too, my dear! My name is Alastor, and I’m the hotelier!”