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Date watched in semi-interest as Junpei panted in an attempt to catch back his breath. A bead of sweat trickled down the boy’s face, eventually dropping from his chin down onto the damp linen below. A thin sheen of sweat served only to highlight how severe his frown was. Ah, the clarity had hit him, hadn’t it.
“Well? Did you get it all out of your system?” Date asked, unable to suppress the grin on his face.
“Shut… shut up.” Junpei scowled in between deep breaths.
“That’s not what you said before. If I recall correctly, you didn’t mind my talking.” If looks could kill, Date would be six feet under from the glare he received. Undeterred, he continued, “well?”
A second passed, then two, then-
“You had… no right… to psync with me,” Junpei finally said. “You had no right… to fuck with my head like- like that.”
Date raised an eyebrow. He’d expected such a response from Junpei, though, usually the people he psynced with were more understanding of why he did so.
“I didn’t fuck with your head, kid, only looked into your dreams. Your other body parts, however…” Date trailed off, taking great delight in the disgusted look Junpei shot him. As if they weren’t both naked and didn't willfully jack each other off just minutes ago.
“Still. My dreams are private! Why the fuck did you-”
A sigh escaped Date’s lips. “You’re the detective. You tell me.” He caught Junpei’s eyes and held a stare. Go on, he thought, use that brain of yours. He knew Junpei wasn’t dull - far from it. When it came to puzzles and mysteries, the boy excelled in the arts of deduction and problem solving. His only deficiencies came from the matters of the heart, and parsing through those [9] mental locks.
A pregnant moment passed before Junpei spoke again. “I never asked for you to get involved.”
Crossing his arms, Date shook his head. “Doesn’t matter. Too late. Anyone with eyes could see that you were killing yourself, kid. It’s only a matter of time before either your recklessness or drinking habits kill you, all because you’re too scared to face whatever the fuck happened to you.” A pause, then, “And I refuse to stand by and watch you die.”
Junpei barked out a sardonic laugh. “Fuck off. You’re exactly the same.”
“And?” Date challenged.
To that, Junpei seemed to have no response. He looked away, brows pinched tightly together. “Was it even worth it?” He asked.
“What was? The psyncing, or us fucking?”
A fist swung Date’s way. He didn’t need Aiba to dodge it; even if it wasn’t halfhearted, Junpei’s strength was depleted from a chronic lack of sleep, poor nutrition, and a fair dinkum hangover to boot. He couldn’t help but grin at the attempt - the kid reminded him of a cat. A sopping wet alley cat hissing and batting its claws but never really doing any damage, terrified and waiting for someone to show it kindness. The sight was rather cute - usually twinks weren’t his type unless they had that spitfire energy in them.
“The psyncing, you idiot.” Junpei hissed.
“Oh.” He paused in mock deliberation, unable to stop himself from committing to just a tad bit of theatrics. “Of course it was.”
By the ever-deepening frown of Junpei’s face, Date figured that answer wasn’t one he wanted to hear. “Fuck you,” A second went by, then two, then- “Well then, what did you find out?”
About me, remained unsaid.
That you’re fucked in the head, Date thought to himself, that alternate timelines exist and you were a pawn in someone else’s game. Just like me.
Instead, he said, “Not much. Just that you were in that, uh, [Nonary Game]. And that you’re chasing after a ghost who derailed your entire life, who used you countless times and-”
A fist slammed down on the bed, halting Date in his tracks. Junpei had turned back towards him, a blazing inferno burning behind those burgundy eyes. “Shut up!” He yelled, “Shut the fuck up! You don’t know anything about Kanny! She didn’t use me!”
Kanny. That name appeared multiple times in Junpei’s somnium. It lingered like a spirit, haunting his dreams. It was even on his tongue when Date first sucked him off, whispered like a fervent prayer of a sinner seeking absolution.
“Akane Kurashiki kidnapped you and six others to save herself. And left when she succeeded, leaving you to throw away your entire life to search for her.” Date stated as if it were a well-known fact. “What I don’t understand about it all is why.”
The anger on Junpei’s face abated slightly, just enough for confusion to seep through the cracks. “‘Why,’ what?”
“Why you’re doing this. Leaving everyone behind, dropping off the grid and ignoring your friends. Why you’re drinking every sight and pushing your body to its limits like you’ve got a death wish.” Every point felt like loading another round into his evolver. Date couldn’t stop himself even it he wanted to; he needed to understand. A crucial piece of the puzzle was missing and without it, he couldn’t help.
That very question seemed to hit a bullseye on Junpei’s heart. The boy’s shoulders, once tense with agitation, slumped bonelessly. His head hung low, eyes faraway. This was a man drained by the world, Date realised, a man on the verge of surrender.
And Date could do nothing but watch as he broke down.
“She changed me,” Junpei whispered, his voice hollow. “When we… when we resonated, something changed in me. I… I can feel her in my head sometimes. Watching. Always watching.” A broken sob left his lips. “Every time I go to sleep, I see all those timelines where things go wrong. We all die… over and over and over and over again and I- I can’t save her. And then… then I wake up and the only thing I can taste is blood. It never goes away. It;s all over my hands but I can never wash it off.”
Horror washed over Date as Junpei continued, staring madly at his hands. “I… I fall asleep in the bathtub. Every night. It’s the only thing that gets the smell of blood off of me. The water, it’s real. And the nightmares, well, booze stops them. Makes it easier to sleep. If I blackout, then I’m safe.”
What the fuck. Not for the first time, Date wished he hadn’t left Aiba to charge in the other room. Maybe she’d know what to say, because he sure as hell had no fucking clue.
Suddenly, Junpei jerked his head up and turned to stare directly at Date, his glassy eyes wide with immeasurable pain. “Don’t you see? Akane broke something in me. She’s… she’s the only one who can fix it. Fix me. We’re connected. I- I can’t live without her. I- I–”
Instinct seized Date’s body. In an instant he climbed over bed sheets to be at Junpei’s side, embracing the boy as he sobbed into his bare chest. He did nothing but hug Junpei tighter at the feeling of tears dripping onto his skin. A wail tore itself from the kid’s throat, raw and agonized and broken.
And Date didn’t know how to help.
This.. this was bigger than him. As much as he loathed to admit it, he had not a single idea on what to do. Psyncing with Junpei was supposed to reveal a way to dig him out from his spiral, but instead… it showed Date just how powerless he was.
It wasn’t supposed to be like this. All Date expected was a fucked-up somnium. A little bit of an angry fuck was a bonus. Then he’d sort out Junpei’s baggage so the kid would stop killing himself, then-
Then…? Then what? It wasn’t as if Junpei could seek professional help - no one would believe him. Hell, Date himself barely did at times. Only the faintest whispered memories of events that never happened made him see past the insanity that was alternate realities and espers. Not even Aiba, or Boss, or even Pewter believed a single thing, likening the events of the somnium to a mind’s abstract way of coping with grief. There was only so much ABIS could believe in. But Date knew better.
Junpei clung to him like a lost child, scared and afraid and so very alone. His lips moved but whatever said was lost beneath a sea of sobs. And yet, Date knew. The reason, the root cause, even though he shouldn’t. Even though he’d never heard of it before, even in the somnium. It cracked and creaked and shattered something inside of him. It resonated at a frequency only he and Junpei could hear, growing louder with each passing second they spent together.
The morphogenetic field was Pandora’s Box. And Date had just forced it wide open.