Work Text:
Plastic Box – Robby
You and Robby were good together. You were. He loved you. He told you all the time. But it was so hard to remember when you saw him with one of exes.
You found out about Heather when you confided in her about your feelings for Robby, long before the two of you had ever gotten together. She told you about their relationship. How he was a good guy, sweet, but they just hadn’t been right for one another. She cautioned that he might not want to be with another resident. To not get your hopes up. You haven’t told her that you’re together now. Haven’t told anyone. He asked you not to.
After he canceled a date because Jake wanted to hang out, you found out about him and Janey. You haven’t met Jake. You don’t think he knows about you.
Then there was a Sophia that came up to the table when you were grabbing breakfast together before a shift. He introduced you as his coworker.
And there were others, you’d be naïve to think otherwise. You’d heard their names in passing. Came across a picture or two. There was a Stephanie you thought. Maybe an Ellie?
But you wish there wasn’t. That you were the first to love him. That you’d been the only one he ever loved. Because when you watched him with them, or heard him talk about them, sometimes it was hard to remember that it was you he loved.
“Get out of here, Robby,” Heather said and shoved him away from her with a laugh and a pretty smile.
He laughed, too. His eyes crinkled in that way you loved before he came over to the hub where you were charting. “You staying on top of your cases today?” he asked instead of giving you any sort of greeting.
Because that’s what he did when you were here. He only talked about work even if he talked to everyone else about their days, their plans, their families. And yeah, he may know all that about you but some days you’d kill for him to say anything remotely personal to you.
You mentioned it once.
“We can’t get caught, baby. Gloria’s just looking for another reason to be on my ass.”
“The day’s been going fine, Dr. Robinavitch, thank you. I’m needed in five.” You could feel his gaze heavy on you as you walked away.
Jake and Janey came by a couple of hours later. They were in the area and Jake wanted to say hi. You watched them, heart happy to see Robby grinning at the boy he considered his son. You looked away when he gave Janey a hug that lasted a beat longer than you were comfortable with. Jake went around greeting everyone, catching up with those he knew, giving Heather a hug. No one introduced you to him.
You weren’t jealous. That wasn’t what this was. Okay, maybe it was. But you weren’t jealous of them. You were jealous of the way he acted with them. The easy smiles and laughs and hugs in the middle of the ED when some days he’d barely look at you until you were safely behind the door of his apartment.
And as he barked another order at you moments after teasing Heather about her new boyfriend, you realized you couldn’t do this anymore. Your heart was breaking and you hated it.
You avoided Robby the best you could for the rest of the shift, ignoring him when he tried to catch your eye at the end of the day. You waited for handover to be finished, waited for him to leave, then approached Jack. “Dr. Abbot, do you have a minute?”
He frowned at you. “It’s Jack. You know that. What do you need?”
You licked your lips. “Could I…” You took a breath. “Would you sign off on me switching to nights?”
For the first time since you’d known him you saw honest shock on Abbot’s face. He grabbed your elbow to steer you away from the others. “Leah, I’m taking five. Page me if you need me.”
She looked between the two of you and nodded.
He took you into the stairwell, letting the door shut behind you. “You talk to Robby about this?”
“Not yet. Didn’t see the point if you wouldn’t agree.” You did your best to look unbothered.
Your phone buzzed in your pocket. You ignored it.
“Something happen?”
Jack was the only person that knew about your relationship. He’d shown up unannounced at Robby’s one day and you’d answered the door thinking he was Doordash. Oops. Robby hadn’t been happy about that.
“I’m not going to discuss this with you. You’re his friend,” you told him. While you appreciated him asking, you didn’t want to put him in the middle of your drama.
His gaze softened, though the furrow in his brow remained. “I’m your friend, too, sweetheart.”
A small sob broke at the endearment. You shook your head and swiped the tears away. “It’s fine. I’m fine.”
Your phone buzzed again. You still ignored it.
“You’re not fucking fine if you’re crying in the stairway. Now, what did he do?”
His genuine anger on your behalf pulled a laugh from you. “Nothing. He’s done nothing. We’ve been together almost ten months and you’re still the only one that knows about us.”
“Shit,” Jack muttered, but you kept talking.
“He calls me by my last name and barks orders at me all day while he laughs with Heather and hugs Janey while I watch. He’s never introduced me to Jake.” You laughed again though there was no humor in it. “He’s never introduced me to anyone.”
“Listen—”
“No. I’ll get over it but I can’t keep working with him every day and watch him be that way with everyone but me. It’s killing me.” More tears run down your cheeks but you’re not sobbing. You’ll take the win.
The vibration of your phone is longer this time. A call instead of a text. You still ignore it.
His dark eyes studied you for a moment before he pulled you into a hug. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. He’s an idiot.” He let go and took a step back. “Are you working tomorrow?”
You shook your head.
“If you really want to move to nights, I’ll write it up and give it to Robby myself,” he said, tone soft.
You placed a hand on his arm and squeezed as you stepped past. “Thank you, Jack.”
You gathered your things, taking the time to text Robby and tell him you were fine, you’d just gotten held up, and no, you didn’t want to come over tonight.
***
Jack was on the roof when Robby arrived for his shift. He felt unsettled and really hated that you weren’t working today. Just being in your presence calmed him. You’d acted off all day yesterday then you hadn’t come over. It was the first time he’d slept alone in weeks. In fact, he’d been thinking about asking you to move in. When he’d called, you’d told him you weren’t up to talking on the phone and hung up. Something was wrong and it was killing him. But you clearly wanted your space and he wasn’t going to push.
He was surprised to find Jack standing behind the railing instead of at the edge. The night must not have been too bad for once.
“You’re a real asshole, you know that,” was Jack’s greeting when he heard the access door shut.
Robby frowned. “Good morning to you, too.”
Jack turned to lean on the rail and pursed his lips before shaking his head. “Your girl asked me to sign off on her moving to nights.” He might as well have socked Robby right in the gut.
“What? When?” His breathing quickened as he tried to fight off his rising panic.
“Last night after you went home.” Jack’s face gave nothing away as he stared at his friend.
“Why?” The word cracked.
“Something about how you ignore her completely while you flirt with your ex.” His tone was nonchalant, like he hadn’t just dropped a bomb on Robby’s whole world.
“That’s not true,” he refuted, words little more than a whisper. Was that really how you felt?
Jack sighed and crossed his arms over his chest. “You’ve been with her for ten months, Robby. You told me you’re crazy about her. That she’s it for you.”
“I am. She is,” he insisted.
“Then why doesn’t anyone know about her?”
He raked a hand through his hair. “You know why.”
Jack shook his head. “That excuse worked in the beginning, but it’s been long enough now. Forget work. Does Jake even know you’re seeing someone?”
Robby’s silence was answer enough.
“You don’t even give her the same level of attention you give your exes in public. She thinks she’s not as important as they were, or hell, as they still are. She thinks it’s her. That she’s the reason you don’t want anyone to know.”
Oh god, that hurt deep in his chest. You were his literal world and he was destroying you without even realizing it. Hot tears ran down his face. “She told you that?”
“She didn’t have to.” Jack closed the distance between them. “Fix this or sign the damn transfer and let her move on. Quit being so damn afraid to let someone love you.”
With that he was gone leaving Robby broken on the roof.
***
Robby left you alone all day. No texts, no calls, though he checked his phone frequently hoping you’d reach out. He didn’t sign the transfer.
He showed up at your door after his shift. After he’d gone home to wash the day off.
When you opened the door, you said nothing, just looking at him with red, swollen eyes. And didn’t that break his heart a little bit more.
“Can I come in?” he asked, giving you his best pleading gaze.
You stepped back with a sigh and let him in, shutting the door behind him. “What are you doing here, Robby?”
“Talk to me. Please.”
You leaned against the back of your couch, keeping distance between you. “Is this about my transfer to nights?”
“Partly.”
You had your arms crossed over your chest as you looked down and toed the carpet. “I thought it would be easier.”
He took a step forward, desperate to close the space between you but not wanting to scare you off. “Easier for who, baby?”
You didn’t look up as you gave a little shrug. “Everyone. You won’t have to deal with me anymore. And I won’t have to watch you love anyone but me.”
Jesus, you were killing him. He knew what Jack said, but he’d been hoping he was wrong. That there had been some misunderstanding and he hadn’t fucked this up so royally. “I don’t love anyone but you. I will never love anyone but you.”
You nodded but still wouldn’t look at him. “I know you love me, Robby but maybe that’s not enough. I can’t compete with them. Heather’s beautiful and amazing and I totally understand why you loved her. And from what you told me Janey’s fantastic and a great mom. She’s pretty too.”
Your name broke on Robby’s lips. He wanted you to stop. To listen.
You looked up then and your devastated expression shattered his already broken heart. “Do you tell anyone about me, Robby, like you told me about them?”
He didn’t answer. Didn’t know what to say to make you feel better.
You gave him a sad smile. “If I had my way you would have loved me first, but that’s not how the world works. I just wish I meant as much to you as they did.”
He couldn’t take it anymore. He crossed the rest of the distance to you and cradled your face in his hands. “I want you to listen to me. I want you to hear what I’m saying to you, then if you want me to leave I will.” Getting a little nod of agreement from you, he continued. “I am so fucking sorry that you thought for even one minute that I am not fucking thrilled to be with you. That I made you feel like you were less than everything for me. I can’t go back and love you first, baby, but I can damn sure love you best. They are my past. You are my future.”
He pressed his forehead against yours and closed his eyes. “You’re right that you can’t compare to them because you are so far above them there is no competition. Please, please say I haven’t fucked this up completely. I love you. I love you so damn much more than I ever thought possible.”
You grabbed hold of his wrists. “I can’t be a secret anymore, Robby. It’s too hard.”
He stepped back and used his thumbs to wipe away the tears running down your cheeks. “You’re not.”
When you gave him a look of disbelief, he took a step back and pulled some papers from his pocket. He handed them to you and watched as you scanned over them.
The hope in your eyes when you looked up at him took some of the weight off his chest.
“What is this?” you asked.
“The form I filled out with HR confirming our relationship along with statements from pretty much all of day shift that there is no favoritism, that they didn’t even know we were dating. There’s one from Jack, too.”
You threw your arms around his neck and buried your face in his neck as you sobbed. He wrapped his arms around you. “I hope these are happy tears,” he said, his eyes pooled with tears of his own. The tension he’d been carrying all day flowed from him as he felt your nod. “They still need to talk to you. They’ll want to make sure you weren’t coerced.”
You pulled back with a laugh and wiped your eyes. “They should have asked you. I practically threw myself at you.”
He smiled, so happy to see you look more like your usual happy self. “I’m sorry, baby. I never meant to make you feel like I was ashamed of you or that I wasn’t in this with my whole heart. I was terrified if we let the world in, they’d tear you away from me and I’d lose you and that nearly happened anyway because I was so fucking scared.”
You placed a hand on his chest. “I’m right here, Robby.”
He kissed you slow and deep, relishing the feeling of you in his arms. When you separated, he kept you caged against him. “Jake’s coming to dinner on Sunday. He wants to meet you.”
And the smile you gave him melted the little bit of fear that he had left. You were here. You were his and he’d never let you doubt it again.