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They weren’t sure when it started. Or even how, for that matter.
And maybe that was a good thing. Maybe it was better if they didn’t know. They tended to overthink more often than not.
That still didn’t stop the shock. The confusion. The feeling of being hit with a sack of bricks. Metaphorically speaking, of course.
Maybe it had been when Tiger first forced him to take a break after they died and came back. Or perhaps it was later than that. Or earlier. Who knows…
It had been a shock more than anything else really. When they realized Monty had left his mind. Even if only for a brief time. It was the first time since his love had died that they had truly let the gater escape his thoughts.
Stranger still, it hadn’t… worried him, as much as they thought it would’ve.
When the aching, wrenching, throbbing pain that laid in his chest, that had kept him going for so long, had slowly begun mellowing out into a dull ache.
They weren’t sure why. Why it confused him so. Why…
Why not hurting for once didn’t overrun him with guilt.
They’d always known they weren’t a good person. They never claimed to be a saint. They deserved all the pain that came to them. They knew that.
Yet they craved the warmth that finally letting go brought. It was an odd feeling. Not love. Not happiness. Nothing like that in the slightest.
But it wasn’t pain, and maybe that’s what drew them in. What caused them to yearn to share the small pleasures they allowed themselves to have with Tiger Rock.
To sit down, and set aside their work, if only for a brief moment. Perhaps to play a game of cards, or watch a movie if Tiger Rock would prefer that more.
…
That thought. That yearning to make the other happy… they didn’t know where it came from. It… It wasn’t related to his past. They knew that much. It wasn’t because…
Why had they ever thought the two looked similar?
Was it the glasses?
No… No it wasn’t the glasses… Not anymore at least. Monty had really only worn them on stage and… And after the virus got out… they didn’t…
No matter where he looked. They could not find an answer to his query.
Why was making sure Tiger Rock was at least comfortable so important to them?
Why did they care so much..?
Was it… Because Tiger had cared for them? In some small sense?
No, that was ridiculous. Tiger didn’t care for them. That was such an idiotic train of thought.
The only reason the larger animatronic stuck around with them is because the two had a deal.
The only reason Tiger forced them to sit for a minute, or well, a week, was so that they wouldn’t be useless dead weight when they went after Afton.
It was… It was the only… The only reasonable explanation.
No one could love a thing like them. Not even themselves.
That didn’t mean they didn’t yearn for it. Didn’t crave the small touches and the closeness Tiger often permitted them.
It hadn’t even been that long. Yet…
Yet another question they supposed. Why Tiger permitted them such closeness? Why the larger animatronic sat so near to them when there was always room elsewhere.
Why Tiger seemed to care if they were injured? If they died?
Then again, maybe that last one was just Tiger being a far better person than they ever were.
And yet they worried all the same.
They never worried this much when they worked with people before.
They’d seen what Tiger could do.
So why did they still worry? Was it doubt? No… No it wasn’t doubt, they knew that feeling all too well. It was… Something else. Something other that they didn’t quite understand.
Something that made them worry about losing Tiger Rock. Like how they lost everyone else.
Why did they care though..? Tiger had said it himself.
“After Chris, we’re done.”
There was no them. There never was, and never would be a them. Tiger just needed them to assist in hunting down Chris. That was all.
And yet…
That was the thought that hurt the most… Wasn’t it…
They’d always been good at destroying his relationships.
This one seemed to have imploded long before it even began.
By their own past actions no less.
The universe had a twisted sense of humor like that.
Then again. When did anything nice they had, ever stay nice?
The virus.
Their revenge.
The dimensions they’d destroyed.
Nexus, is his entirety.
Lefty, caused by their own selfish desire to even attempt to save someone who had already been gone for a long time.
They truly were worse than the Creator’s they’d been so desperate to destroy. Even if they may not experiment like the Creators did. They destroyed far more lives than those monsters had. Killed trillions. All in some pursuit for what they thought was the right thing.
They burned every bridge they ever had. And hurt anyone else that tried to stay.
And yet they still so selfishly wished for the companionship being with Tiger had brought them.
They doubted Tiger would enjoy being dragged across the multiverse anyways. And they doubted they could ever find enough problems in this dimension to pay their dues.
They truly were worse.
Even if logically, they knew the Creators would’ve killed, experimented on, and perhaps even enslaved the multiverse as a whole had they not done something.
There had likely been an alternative path.
Had they just been willing to look.
They wondered how Tiger could even stand to look at them sometimes. With those soft eyes and crude sense of humor.
They couldn’t help but shake his head at every introduction Tiger managed to screw over and somehow save in the same breath.
It was so different from what they were used to.
It was nice, in its own weird way.
But they needed to focus.
They needed to find Chris.
Then Tiger could have his revenge.
And they could…
They could…
They’d figure it out, he supposed. Once this was over.
They had a debt to repay after all.
Best not to keep the devil waiting, as some would say.