Archive of Our Own ^beta

It’s not anything new, just a boring night where Suguru’s tapping through Grindr for the hell of it. Satoru just left his apartment to return home after a night of grading papers together and then a dinner with a movie. He’s not particularly looking for a hook up tonight, but he is a little horny, and it’s not like he’s hurting anyone. It’s not his fault Satoru looked so good, an oversized sweater on his frame that slipped down his shoulders to reveal delectable collar bones.

He’s not a huge fan of hook up apps - too many unasked for dick pics — but they satisfy an itch that he sometimes can’t ignore. Even if it ends up just being some sexting and no actual meet up takes place. 

He swipes through profile after profile, each one as boring as the last — no one piquing his interest. They’re all so cookie cutter — guys who look the same half shirtless, flaunting their bodies, a short paragraph about themselves labelling whether they top or bottom.

Suguru skips all of the tops.

There’s a profile that catches his attention, which is surprising because like, that isn’t something that often happens. It’s another shirtless mirror selfie where the guy’s head is cut off, grey sweatpants slung low. He has the most incredible washboard abs Suguru’s ever seen, but that’s not the part that gets him — it’s the background, with steely marble tile that looks familiar in a way he can’t put a name on. He hums to himself. 

The guy’s display name is Toru and he must be old as fuck because the happy trail leading down his pelvis is stark white. 

Suguru’s never hooked up with someone that much older than him, so his curiosity is piqued. It’s not like he has anything against it or anything. It’s just like, never occurred to him, or maybe he’s never encountered someone that old on these apps and the places he frequents with his friends where he meets hookups don’t often have anyone older than thirty five. 

Honestly, what old man even uses Grindr? And what old man looks like that. Actually now that he thinks of it, he’s seen quite a lot of DILFs with families they’re pretending they love, but that’s like, whatever. He skips them, too. He’s not touching that with a ten foot pole.

A quick look at the guy’s profile shows they’re the same age, though, which is kind of weird, because who just has white hair? 

He swipes through the guy’s profile and nearly drops his phone.

So like, there are only so many queer men he can find on this god forsaken app. Sometimes he runs into people he’s seen before, although he’s not really sure how because he’s pretty certain those apps don’t show you profiles you’ve already swiped on. Sometimes he comes across people he knows in real life and didn’t know were gay and that’s kind of, like, an awkward conversation, especially when they’re a coworker, although the worst was probably his dentist while he was literally in the waiting room of said dentist.

But this?

Toru.

He pieces it together in his mind, and facepalms himself so hard he almost knocks himself out because how could it take so long for him to realise?

It’s Satoru.

As in Gojo Satoru. His best friend. His life line. His one and only.

What in the everloving fuck.

Like, fuck. Fucking fuck. 

Satoru likes men? Satoru? Gojo Satoru? That Gojo Satoru who only talks about women, has idols as his phone background, and talks about pussy like he’s some kind of king of oral sex?

Did Suguru mention he also likes men? Did Suguru mention that he likes men that specifically look like Satoru because of course, he’s been in love with the man since they met in high school. Ever since a soccer game where he’d kicked the ball at Satoru’s head by accident, knocked him out and when he went to check on him, was met with the brightest dazed blue eyes, the owner of which muttered “Weird bangs,” and Suguru was in love. 

But he thought Satoru was straight. Whenever they go out to clubs with the group and Satoru takes someone home, it’s always a woman. So, he’s never said anything and let his love die and suffocate under an immense pile of rubble. 

But this — this floors Suguru. This is blowing his mind wide open. 

Suguru swipes through all of the photos, his thumb swiping left across his screen. Each photo is a blatant thirst trap. There’s even one where he’s pulling his shirt up by his teeth at the gym, gym shorts hanging low on his hips, only the bottom half of his face visible which is such a shame, because Satoru is gorgeous. It’s a photo Satoru had sent over last week and Suguru had fought so hard not to literally jerk off in the bathrooms at the university he works at. 

Suguru’s mind is still running absolutely wild as he stares at each picture. Satoru is on Grindr. Which means Satoru likes men. Which means Satoru has sex with other men. 

And that thought has him clenching his jaw, picturing someone else getting to fuck Satoru. 

Someone else getting what he’s only ever imagined before. He thinks back to all his fantasies, to all the times he’s alone in his room fisting his own rock hard cock. 

Satoru’s such a brat. He would love to put him in his place, teach him to be obedient with the use of his cock. Satoru would look so pretty underneath him, face all blissed out, tears in his eyes at how good everything feels. 

A quick look at his profile again and fuck, it says that he exclusively bottoms. Like, he exclusively takes cock and Suguru’s brain short circuits again. Suguru also feels like he goes through the first few stages of grief as he processes this information.

He doesn’t know what to do with this information. Does he confront Satoru about it? Fuck — wait, no Satoru will know he was also on Grindr and came across his account and then they’ll both know and what if he hasn’t told Suguru for a reason? There’s too many possibilities, too many outcomes to fathom that he disregards that entirely. 

He’s almost tempted to swipe right to see if Satoru has come across his profile as well, and what if they match? 

Actually, what if they don’t. Suguru doesn’t think he can survive that kind of rejection. 

Instead, he deactivates his account, deletes the app, and throws his phone away which lands with a quiet thud on the couch. 

God he just — why didn’t Satoru tell him? Suguru’s already out to him, so it’s not like he’d judge Satoru for it. He’s been out for years!

Does Satoru not trust him or something? It hurts to think that. He and Satoru tell each other everything. There are literally no secrets between them except for how Suguru’s in love with him, so maybe he’s a hypocrite, but Suguru thinks that’s a pretty fair secret to keep. What did he do to make Satoru not want to tell him? 

Oh. 

Oh no, he knows. He knows exactly why. 

He knows Suguru‘s in love with him and instead of letting him down, he’s let Suguru think he’s straight so he wouldn’t have to say anything. His stomach sinks, like there’s a bag of rocks sitting inside of him, bitterness lining his tongue. 

How kind of him.

And maybe that’s a good thing because Suguru feels like a dog with a bone, unable to get Satoru out of his head. 

He pictures Satoru’s face in pure bliss. What those pretty blue eyes would look like with tears, perfect pink lips agape. How Satoru’s eyes would flutter closed when Suguru slowly feeds his cock inside of what he knows would be the prettiest pink rim, Satoru’s legs spreading open for him, just for him.

And then the jealousy comes roaring back again. 

Fuck, someone else has seen Satoru like that. Who else has seen him? How many people? And why aren’t any of them Suguru? 

He has no claim on Satoru, obviously, but he can’t help but be upset that Satoru has let other people know what he looks like when he’s being fucked open before him.

He’s just so fucking beautiful it’s driving Suguru insane.

Suguru feels his cock harden, and he bites his lip. He looks at the time and sighs in resignation. Yeah, he’s going to jerk himself off tonight, all sad and pathetic and lonely. Forget a random hook up though, because what he pictures is so much better.

He shucks off his pants and briefs in one go, sitting shamefully half naked on the couch as he wraps a hand around his half-hard cock, stroking it slowly to its full hardness. Letting his head fall back onto the couch, his hand slaps around the couch cushions, trying to find his phone. When he gets his hands on it again, he (again, shamefully) downloads Grindr once more. This time, he doesn’t bother filling in any details for a new profile, lest Satoru discovers his profile, and swipes left until he finds Satoru’s profile again.

Suguru’s cock practically hardens immediately when he spots the blush pink of Satoru’s nipple, biting his lip in lieu of what he actually wants to be doing — biting Satoru’s nipples, tweaking and twisting them till they’re hard. He bets — no he knows Satoru’s skin is soft, would be soft under his calloused hands because as he said, he knows everything about Satoru, including the fact that Satoru moisturises his body with something that smells deliciously like vanilla every single night after his shower. He wonders what his bare skin would feel like as he brushes his boxing gym bag hardened knuckles over Satoru’s skin.

Satoru would be sensitive, he’s so sure of it. He’d shiver under Suguru’s ministrations and probably do something insane like whimper Suguru’s name. Suguru tightens his fist around his cock, swipes across the slit on the head to gather precome and spreads it along his length to slicken it. He’s too lazy to get his lube and he wants to get off soon, sue him. 

His breath quickens as he imagines kissing down Satoru’s pale torso, the same one he looks at on his phone screen. He imagines licking the valley of Satoru’s abs after a session at the gym and shivers at the likely taste of musky, salty sweat beneath his tongue, all the while quickening the pace of his hand as he jerks himself off.

Next, he pictures Satoru on his stomach, hips tilted up slightly, one hand reaching behind him to spread a cheek apart for Suguru to see. He’d see the gorgeous furl of his asshole, clenching and unclenching as Satoru begs for Suguru to ‘do something.’ And once Suguru’s satisfied with how much Satoru’s begged, he’ll finally drop his head down to lick at the skin around his asshole, lick a line from his taint to his hole and suck. 

Satoru would arch his back even more, causing his cheeks to spread apart and Suguru would replace his hand with his own, and pull apart Satoru’s cheeks to dive deeper. Then he’d go for gold and eat Satoru out like it was his job, licking inside Satoru and opening him up, getting him ready for Suguru’s fat cock. 

The heat inside of him builds, and his fingers twitch around his phone with frenetic energy. He’s close and his fantasy version of Satoru’s just getting rimmed. He’s so fucking gone for Satoru. 

He swipes to the next photo. This time, it’s a photo that he took of Satoru. They’re at a Pride Parade and Suguru thought Satoru was just there as an ally. God, he’s such a fucking idiot. 

Satoru’s wearing tiny booty shorts, calf length gogo boots, topless, chest covered in rainbow glitter, popping his hip out to the side to emphasise his little bubble butt, muscled from the countless hours he spends at the gym. Again, it’s only the bottom half of his face that’s visible in the picture, lips pouting in what he remembers as a silly expression that Satoru had pulled when Suguru pointed the camera at him. 

Unbeknownst to him, it had made Suguru’s stomach leapfrog — the expression so cute and silly, yet sultry at the same time, stirring something heated inside of him. The photo doesn’t show the way Satoru’s eyes had been half-lidded and seductive, staring alluringly towards the camera with those ocean eyes. The memory has Suguru’s cock twitching in his large hand. 

Suguru continues to stare at the picture, taking in Satoru’s mile-long legs, accentuated by the white gogo boots, fantasising about having them wrapped around his waist, or bent and pushed towards Satoru’s chest as Suguru fucks into his tight hole. His hand speeds up and down the length of his cock, breathing getting more laboured with each stroke. Precum continues to leak from the tip of his dick and he spreads it around, easing his strokes, making each pump of his cock even more pleasurable. 

He thinks about how much better, how much warmer Satoru’s hole would be as he fucks his fist, going the same speed as his fantasy fuck of Satoru — thinks about the noises Satoru would make, the way his sweet voice would moan and beg to come. How Suguru would lick along the sweat-damp skin of Satoru’s neck, nipping and sucking until it bloomed red and purple. Thrusting into Satoru until his face is fucked out, eyes glazed over and wet with tears as he continues begging to come. Maybe even chanting Suguru’s name as Suguru brings him closer and closer to Satoru’s orgasm. 

His own orgasm comes on violently, hips jerking up fucking his cock through his tight fist as he releases all over his stomach and hand. His hip twitches as he rides out his orgasm, a grunt leaving his throat as the last of his spend spurts out. 

Suguru sits there, panting, as post nut clarity hits him. Did he just jerk off to his best friend? God, he’s so insane for that. He doesn’t even have a proper justification for what he just did. This is so messed up. Satoru can never know. He’d probably feel violated or disgusted by Suguru if he did and then their friendship will be ruined forever, and Suguru will lose the one and only person who understands him. 

Besides, it’s not the first nor will it be the last time he’ll do it so he doesn’t even know why he’s questioning his actions again. 

God, he’s so sick, he needs to get a fucking grip. It’s difficult when he knows the star of his fantasies will always be someone with white hair and gorgeous baby blues.

He is literally the worst person in the world. He is the biggest fucking pervert but god even now he can’t stop thinking about it. He can already feel himself getting hard thinking about Satoru again and like, that’s enough of being a pervert for one night. So he stands and trudges awkwardly towards his bathroom, turns the water to the coldest it can be and gets under the spray, grimacing as the ice cold water hits his skin. Suguru feels his cock shrink from the cold, his balls practically shrinking inside of him and he thinks, “Good, thank god.”

It works for all of ten minutes until Suguru’s done his shower. Then he gets out, picks up his phone, and opens it up only to see that it’s still open on Grindr, showing him Satoru’s picture again. His cock twitches again. He throws his phone across the room, sighs, and shoves a hand down his pants again.

Fuck.

He wakes up in the morning, and tries to be normal about everything. He’s going to be normal about last night and what he discovered. He’s going to be normal about the fact that he actively jerked off to pictures of his best friend, not once, but twice, and still came close to a third time. It’s always a bit of a struggle the next day to act normal around Satoru when he’s jerked off to him the night before.

It’s not really an option to not be normal because he’s got a standing crepe date with Satoru on Saturdays and well, today is Saturday. Ever since they left college and weren’t spending every single day together, they decided to set a time each week to see each other to ensure they don’t drift apart. 

They basically still end up seeing each other every day anyway, with Satoru ending up at Suguru’s apartment after work regardless of their schedules or vice versa. Suguru tends to avoid going over to Satoru’s when he can, to be honest. Not for anything serious. Satoru just has this hamster called Bibimon that Satoru treats like his daughter. She’s a cream coloured little thing and Satoru likes to Simba her whenever he enters a room with her, while her little feet run like she’s riding a bicycle. Every time Suguru goes over, he has to say hi to her or Satoru gets pouty and offended. 

But he’s pretty sure the hamster hates him. She nips at his fingers whenever he reaches into her cage to try and pat her and Satoru exclaims that he’s just being too rough with her. When they’re lying in Satoru’s bed, she watches him with her beady little eyes, face pressed against her glass cage and he never knew hamster eyes could narrow but he swears they do when they look at him. 

When Satoru lets her out, all she does is stay in Satoru’s arms while Satoru coos at her like a baby and stares down Suguru like she’s the apex predator and not like Suguru is the one who could crush her in one hand. One time, Satoru let her run around in a hamster ball. They were sitting on the floor and somehow she’d sped right into his balls. Satoru had laughed, but Suguru had spent an agonizing amount of time on the floor, squeezing himself and groaning.

It’s absolutely ridiculous. Also, last he checked hamsters were stupid as fuck. Like, why isn’t it running off to kill itself? It can’t run itself to death instead of Suguru’s fucking balls?

All in all, it makes Suguru feel like he’s not really welcome at Satoru’s. So yeah, he avoids going to Satoru’s when he can. 

Anyway, he picks Satoru up, like he does every week. When he sits in his car out the front of Satoru’s lavish apartment building and watches the front door like a dog would its owner, his thoughts float back to his less than innocent discovery and subsequent activity and resolves to be normal about Satoru. He’s going to be so normal because he’s not supposed to know anything and if he isn’t normal, then Satoru will know something is up. Then he’d have to reveal everything and things will be weird between them and he absolutely cannot have that. He loves Satoru so much he’d rather die than live without him.

Except, as soon as he spots Satoru stepping through the marble front door, he can feel himself light up at the sight of him, lips twitching upwards into a smile and his insides bursting with so much affection, he feels a little insane. Satoru looks so good as well, not that he ever looks bad. He’s not even wearing anything special. 

Just a black v-neck shirt with a leather jacket that Suguru’s pretty sure Satoru stole from him and blue jeans with rips at the thighs. Dark, round sunglasses perched on the top of his head over his fluffy white hair. His jeans fit tight over his cute butt and for some reason, he just looks… extra delicious and he can’t help himself when Satoru gets in the car and leans over the middle console to wrap an arm around Suguru’s neck to hug him and he inhales. Like a freak. 

“Did you just sniff me?” Satoru asks, his initially perplexed expression morphing into something mischievous. 

“What? No!”

“I heard you, you freak,” Satoru says, a self-satisfied smirk on his face.

The tips of his ears burn as they turn red. “I was breathing normally. Like a normal person.”

“Uh huh,” Satoru says, leaning back into his seat, crossing his arms triumphantly like he won something. 

“You — smell weird,” Suguru panic tries instead. It’s an absolute lie, though. Satoru smells delicious, actually. Like marshmallows and vanilla and cotton candy. He smells so sweet it makes Suguru dizzy. He could probably drown in Satoru’s scent — wishes he could wrap his arms around Satoru and inhale again.

“No I don’t! You take that back!” Satoru practically screeches, offended like it’s the worst insult Suguru could’ve ever said. “I just got a new perfume.”

“Yeah, and you smell like diabetes incarnate.” Suguru says, completely normal. He can totally be normal. He’ll even win at being normal. Satoru’s being completely normal and Suguru can’t lose to him.

“But it’s good, yeah? Don’t you want to just eat me up?” Satoru winks, and Suguru’s pretty certain if he were driving he’d crash the car then and there.

Because yeah, actually, he does want to eat Satoru up. Put him on his hands and knees and dive into that ass face first. Lick inside of him until his hole is sloppy wet, soft and loose, and ready for his cock to be wrapped inside that divine heat. 

He shakes his head, pretending that he’s just exasperated by Satoru’s silliness and not the fact that he can feel himself hardening up. He hasn’t been this out of control of his dick since he was a teenager.

“Just put your seatbelt on so we can go,” Suguru says with a roll of his eyes, hoping he sounds more nonchalant than he feels. 

He turns away, facing the road, and deliberately places both hands on the steering wheel. And because he’s a sucker and he hears Satoru huff out a disappointed sigh, he says, “You do smell good.” 

Satoru grins triumphantly at his win, and he does what he’s told, grabbing the seatbelt with an overexaggerated flourish. He chats Suguru’s ear off the entire drive and Suguru nods at the right times, asks questions like he usually does, but there’s one fundamental difference in their interaction today and he hopes to all the gods above that Satoru doesn’t notice. 

See, he tends to drive with his hand on Satoru’s thigh, but today, he just can’t seem to get his hand to move from point a to point b. It’s like both of his hands are glued to the steering wheel, and the thought of touching Satoru’s plush thigh makes his palms sweaty. So much so that he’s had to take them off the wheel to wipe them on his pants. 

They make it halfway to Takeshita Street before Satoru speaks up.  

“Alright, out with it. What’s wrong with you?” Satoru says, looking a little more than annoyed. “You keep being weird.” 

“No idea what you’re talking about,” Suguru says, squeezing the steering wheel with both hands tight until his knuckles are white. 

“Both your hands are on the wheel.”

“Satoru, that's how you’re supposed to drive, hands on ten and two o’clock,” he defends calmly. 

“Ugh you’re such a nerd. But anyway, that's not how you drive. My leg is cold,” Satoru says petulantly. 

When Suguru glances over at him, there’s a pout on his face. Bratty on the surface but underneath that, he can see the concern in the furrow of his eyebrows and the pleading in his eyes. Suguru sighs. 

“It’s nothing,” he says. “Promise.”

He puts his hand on Satoru’s thigh, squeezing reassuringly, and tells himself that he will be normal about this. He prays that Satoru doesn’t feel the burning warmth of his palm too much and that he doesn’t soak through Satoru’s jeans with sweat. He’d been mindless when he placed his hand on Satoru’s thigh, which is coincidentally, exactly where the rip in his jeans is and he can feel the soft, smooth skin of Satoru’s thigh beneath his palm. Instinctively, he starts drawing small circles on bare skin with his thumb, feeling the goose bumps form.

Satoru wears a smug grin after that and the rest of the car ride to Takeshita Street is typical, with Satoru continuing his story about how ridiculous academic bureaucracy is (a concept Suguru is familiar with and one he shares a similar distaste for) and how it’s affecting his latest research project. Then updating Suguru on the Digivolutions he managed to get on the train ride home after teaching his evening class. 

He tries so hard to act the way he’s expected to when he’s usually in Satoru’s company and mostly succeeds, he thinks. There’s nothing to indicate that he’s off. They banter and insult each other whenever the opportunity arises, his hand is on Satoru’s thigh during the car ride like he requested, and he keeps his hand loose around Satoru’s waist as he guides Satoru into Marion Crepes. They settle into their usual table and somehow, the conversation shifts to dating. It could be because they’re surrounded by couples on dates, but it's at that moment that Suguru notices the weird way Satoru reacts when Suguru gives his update. 

It might all be in his head because he tends to overthink, especially when it involves Satoru, and perhaps knowing that what he wants is just out of reach has him lost in his own head. Or maybe he’s just never noticed that it makes Satoru seem uncomfortable and only realised it now, because he feels extra attuned to Satoru today. 

Dating isn’t something that comes up often for them, because Satoru doesn't date — hasn’t ever dated in the entire time he’s known Suguru. He’s only ever seen him take home women from time to time when they go out with the group (and maybe even men, he thinks bitterly) and Suguru’s love life is in constant shambles. It’s not his fault his partners felt like he could never give them the time and affection they need because he’s so busy with Satoru. They have a routine, it’s a lifestyle for Suguru and — okay yeah, maybe it is Suguru’s fault. 

He’s completely under Satoru’s thumb. Satoru says jump and he jumps, so yeah, he’s cancelled plans just to see Satoru, regardless of how last minute they were.

Wow Suguru’s a terrible boyfriend. Horrible time to be doing some self-reflecting when he’s supposed to be normal.

At least he’s incredible in bed, a fact that makes him bitter when he realizes he won’t be impressing Satoru anytime soon.

Anyway, Satoru’s being weird and sort of shifting in his seat, eyes looking in every direction except Suguru’s. Maybe he’s uncomfortable because he’s never dated? So he feels less experienced, feels awkward because he can’t contribute much to the conversation despite usually having so much to say. 

Suguru kinda just rambles about his dating life to fill the slightly awkward tension in the air because if Satoru was truly uncomfortable, he’d have changed topics by now, right? 

So, Suguru continues. He talks about how he hasn’t been on a date in a while because of the last disaster of a ‘relationship’ if it could even be called that — relays the story of the last time he’d dated someone and how the first time they were going to have sex, they’d both discovered they were tops. Which had resulted in such an awkward situation and led to the immediate dissolution of that relationship and he hasn’t bothered since. 

The uncomfortable expression on Satoru’s face continues to persist along with something else Suguru can’t parse. Guilt, maybe? If he didn’t know any better, he’d say Satoru was looking a little pained. His lips are pressed tight and drawn downwards. Suguru wonders if he feels guilty that he hasn't come out when Suguru already has.

Suguru’s mind begins to go into ultra overdrive, thinking, thinking, what could possibly make Satoru react this way. And this would’ve been the perfect moment to come out to Suguru, but he says nothing at all. 

Maybe, just maybe, Satoru doesn’t trust him as much as he thought. 

Or maybe he feels sorry that Suguru’s dating all these people trying to get over him. That’s probably it. But that would mean Satoru knows Suguru’s in love with him and if he did, he wouldn’t be so encouraging with his touchiness and their whole deal of spending every waking minute together.

God, he really needs to get out of his own head. 

It’s fruitless to wonder anyway. He’ll just get himself into a spiral, unable to claw his way back to reality and then Satoru will really know something’s wrong and he absolutely can’t have that. He can be Normal Suguru.

As they’re walking out of the crepe shop, Suguru’s pocket buzzes and he pulls his phone out. 

Shoko 12:39

You with your worse half?

Suguru 12:39

Who’s my worse half

Shoko 12:41

I’ll take that as a yes 

We’re going clubbing tonight 

Even Nanami is going

He responds just with an ‘ok’ and pockets his phone as he’s being pulled into a pet shop by Satoru, his hand gripping Suguru’s bicep tightly. God, what’d he do to have Satoru’s hands tightly gripped around his co -

“Ooooh, look at these little hamster slippers! I can get blue ones to match my cinnamoroll slippers.”

Suguru sighs, interrupted from his thoughts. “ Your hamster would hate them.”

“She has a name!” Satoru pokes Suguru on the forehead. “You don’t know what Bibimon would like. You guys don’t even get along!”

“It’s not my fault! She hates me for some reason and I didn’t even do anything to her,” Suguru defends, pressing his thumb on the same spot Satoru poked in exasperation. 

Satoru keeps browsing through some hamster accessories as he says, “Maybe she’s just a good judge of character and she can smell your stinky character.” 

“Watch who you call stinky. You’re the brat here.”

Satoru sniffs while holding out his basket full of hamster toys; a little car with a hamster ball where the driver seat would be, a little frog hat, and a tiny swing set. “Pay for them, Suguru.”

“Why do I have to pay?! They’re for your hamster.”

Satoru stares deep into Suguru’s eyes, wide baby blues into vibrant violet eyes, looking, glaring into the depths of Suguru’s soul. “If you love Bibimon, you’ll buy them for her.”

And because Satoru loves Bibimon and Suguru loves Satoru, he hangs his head like the goner he is and takes the basket from Satoru who bounces behind him with glee. 

Such a fucking brat. They have the same job. He knows how much Suguru gets paid, which okay it’s like, a lot because he’s one of the youngest tenured philosophy professors, but also, Satoru has generational wealth behind him.

When they reach the counter, they’re greeted by a stocky black haired man, hair parted in the middle in that casual K-Pop style. He’s wearing a too tight work top and his chest looks like it’s about to break through the buttons. 

The cashier looks straight past him and he just knows, the cashier’s got his eyes on Satoru. He looks back and yep — Satoru’s standing with his hip popped out to the side, long legs parted, snowy hair falling effortlessly over his eyes as he scrolls through his phone.

“You guys got a hamster?” the cashier asks, casually, ringing up their stuff. Bold of him to strike up a conversation with someone like Satoru when he’s ugly as hell.

“Just mine, actually,” Satoru pipes up. “She’s adorable,” he continues. “Here, look.”

Satoru steps up to the counter beside Suguru as he pulls up his camera roll, scrolling through the hundreds of photos he has of her. She’s a cream coloured little thing, and small enough that she doesn’t even stretch the entire palm of Suguru’s hand (not that she’s willing to relax when Suguru has her). Satoru’s only had her for a couple of months but he’s been completely enamoured by her. Suguru’s actually kind of jealous, so used to having all of Satoru’s attention on himself. Now he has to compete with a fuckin’ hamster.

Satoru leans over the counter, his shirt hanging loosely off of him. The cashier leans in to get a better look at Satoru’s phone, but for a brief moment his eyes dart towards Satoru, down his shirt, then back to the phone.

Oh, Suguru doesn’t like that at all.

“Her name is Bibimon,” Satoru starts before babbling about how much he loves her, how cute she is, her favorite places to sleep in and all the different foods he feeds her. 

The stupid hamster’s adopted from some family friends who got her for their young son without doing any research. They quickly learned that hamsters are nocturnal and wanted it out of their house as soon as possible, unable to deal with her keeping them up at night. 

Satoru took his chance to bring her home immediately before they just let her out in the wild. He’d woken Suguru up at ten pm because he’d gone to sleep early, then made Suguru drive him across town to pick up said hamster. The original owners had relinquished all their supplies, but none of them had been adequate and the hamster had slipped out of her cage. 

Satoru had stayed up all night to make sure she was okay, so Suguru had stayed up all night to make sure Satoru was okay. Satoru made him go with him to the nearest pet store in the morning.

“Oh, Digimon, nice,” the cashier says brightly as if that’s supposed to be common knowledge. Suguru rolls his eyes. “I had a hamster named Koromon when I was younger. I have a soft spot for the anime.”

Satoru immediately brightens. “Me too! I was originally going to call her Agumon but then I thought a lesser or in training digimon would be more fitting and then I didn’t want something too common, you know?”

The cashier leans in even closer. At this point he’s shamelessly staring down Satoru’s shirt, looking completely lecherous. He licks his lips. “I get it. Your hamster’s so cute, I would love to see her in person.”

“I’ll bring her next time I come in!”

“Actually, I was thinking — ”

“-  We’re done,” Suguru says, grabbing Satoru by the waist. He drags Satoru out of the store, bags in hand, as Satoru whines about not being able to show off Bibimon more.

“What, you’re mad that someone’s interested in her?” Satoru pouts. “You never show interest in her!”

“He wasn’t, either. He just wanted to — upsell you more hamster shit,” Suguru pivots at the last minute. He was going to say that the cashier clearly wanted to get into Satoru’s pants, which could lead to acknowledging Satoru’s alleged straightness, somehow, he’s sure, and Suguru doesn’t want to hear Satoru lie to his face or put him in an awkward position.

So he leaves it.

They return to Satoru’s apartment to unpack all of Bibimon’s new toys. Her cage is in Satoru’s bedroom and as soon as his shoes are off, Satoru is darting for his bedroom.

“God, I can’t wait to put the frog hat on her. She’s gonna look so cute!” Satoru says, excitedly, bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet. 

Suguru trails behind Satoru, and there’s an overwhelming sense of fondness as he watches Satoru begin to unpack Bibimon’s toys eagerly. He can’t help but smile — Satoru’s excitement can be so infectious. Him and Bibimon might have beef, but it makes him happy when Satoru’s happy. It’s the only thing stopping him from taking the hamster and piffing it out the window of Satoru’s apartment on the twelfth floor.  

“Hi, Bibimon,” Suguru says through gritted teeth because he knows Satoru will be grouchy if Suguru doesn’t acknowledge her presence. 

“You could at least pretend to be happy when you see her, ya know?” Satoru says, as he reaches into the cage to take her out. “At least the cashier at the store thinks she’s cute,” he mumbles.

Suguru grits his teeth. 

Once she’s in Satoru’s hands, he starts giving her kisses to her little head and Suguru wishes that were him right now and — 

Jesus Christ, he’s pathetic. He’d probably curl up at Satoru’s feet if he wanted.

“Your turn,” Satoru says, once he’s done suffocating Bibimon with kisses, holding her out in front of Suguru’s face. 

“Satoru, she’s just going to bite me,” he sighs. 

“No she won’t. She has never bitten anyone ever,” Satoru claims, jiggling her gently in front of Suguru’s face. 

“She literally nipped my hand the other day.”

“Yeah, nipped, not bit.”

“A nip is just a small bite.”

“Look at how small her mouth is. How could she even do that.”

Suguru stares at him. He cannot keep doing this.

“Come on, just a little quick kiss,” Satoru says, jiggling her again. 

He leans away from her at the same time that Bibimon squeaks and squirms in Satoru’s hold, obviously trying to get away from Suguru as well. 

“See, she doesn’t like me near her!” Suguru says, taking two steps back from Satoru. 

“I just want my babies to get along,” Satoru sighs forlornly, a finger stroking up and down Bibimon’s head.

“Maybe start by not shoving her face in mine every time I’m here,” Suguru suggests, ignoring the fact that Satoru just called him one of his babies. 

“Well you have to love her. She’s just so cute and small and perfect,” Satoru coos, giving her little kisses on her head which Bibimon leans into, happily. 

“To you, maybe,” Suguru mumbles under his breath.

“I heard that!” Satoru says, placing Bibimon back in her cage. She presses her face and tiny paws against the glass, staring at Satoru who’s started to take her toys out of their packaging. 

Suguru takes a seat on Satoru’s bed, back resting against the headboard as he watches Satoru babble to Bibimon as he sets up her new toys. He might hate that stupid hamster, but it really is adorable how much Satoru dotes on Bibimon as if it’s his child. 

“Shoko said we’re going out tonight, by the way.” 

“Mmkay,” Satoru says, tying the frog hat to Bibimon’s head. “What do you wanna do until then?”

“Watch a movie?” Suguru suggests, already booting up one of the many streaming services Satoru is subscribed to.

“Sounds good,” Satoru says.

Suguru browses through the recently released list of movies but through the corner of his eye, he can see Satoru bent over at the waist, Bibimon out of her cage once again, nibbling on a piece of fruit with the tiny frog hat on, and snapping a million photos of her and giggling to himself. He changes the angle of his phone every few photos and Suguru’s not gonna lie, the hat’s pretty cute. 

The position Satoru’s in as he’s bent over pulls his jeans taut over his perky ass, and it’s a miracle Suguru doesn’t pop a boner right there because he’s already imagining what it would be like if he had the honour of peeling the jeans over Satoru’s ass, revealing smooth skin and his muscled, round ass.

He turns his head to sneakily stare just a little longer and somehow, makes eye contact with Bibimon. She immediately stops nibbling the piece of apple and glares at Suguru with her tiny eyes. Like she can hear all the perverted, unsavoury thoughts running through Suguru’s mind right now. 

He pokes his tongue out at her, huffs and turns back to look at the tv. 

“God, she’s so cute, I’m gonna die,” Satoru announces before finally locking his phone and throwing it onto his bed. 

Suguru hums in acknowledgement and makes a point to not agree or disagree because seriously, this hamster is going to be the death of him. He doesn’t actually think she can hear his thoughts but the hamster definitely knows something. 

He tries to channel his inner Shoko and be rational. She’d call him insane, and maybe he is, but he has eyes, okay? The hamster is glaring at him like she knows. 

“I’m gonna change into something comfier. You want some sweats?” Satoru asks, unbuttoning his jeans right in front of Suguru.

And look, they’ve gotten changed in front of each other before, plenty of times. It’s just — it’s a different context now, yeah? Considering the very new revelation from last night. He tries really hard not to look in Satoru’s direction — croaks out a, “No, I’m good,” and continues to stare straight ahead at the television, pretending he’s super invested in finding the right movie to kill time with. You know, like Normal Suguru.

Satoru disappears into his huge fuck off walk-in closet and after a few minutes, emerges wearing a pair of his sweats and his t-shirt, hanging low over one shoulder and revealing the very same smooth, delectable skin Suguru wants to run his tongue over. Maybe even suckle on the skin a little, until a hickey blooms. Fuck, he looks so good in Suguru’s clothes, just like he belongs to Suguru. 

Honestly, Satoru looks good in anything, and Suguru can’t stop staring at him, thinking about what else he’d like to see Satoru in. He thinks about those slutty photos on Satoru’s Grindr profile, blemish-free skin on display, perky, pink nipples begging to be sucked and bitten. Satoru has such a nice ass, he’d probably look amazing in a lacy lingerie set. Probably something in blue, like his eyes.

Yeah, Satoru in lace blue panties, pulled aside so Suguru can spit on his hole, eating him out like his life depends on it. He’d make it so good, get him nice and loose with his tongue alone, ready for his cock. 

Satoru flops on the bed, uncaring of where Suguru’s currently sitting, his floppy head of hair nestling itself on Suguru’s thighs.

Fuck, his head is far too close to Suguru’s dick, which is already half hard from Suguru’s perverted fantasies.

“Did Shoko say what time she wants to go out?” Satoru asks, tilting his head towards Suguru, his eyes innocent and wide. Suguru would love to see what they look like overflowing with tears, and the thought does nothing to help his growing erection. 

“Uhhhh,” Suguru says dumbly. He hadn’t thought to ask and honestly he’s too busy trying to will his dick to go down, praying that Satoru doesn’t shift anymore and rub his head on his dick or something. That friction might fully chub him up.

Bibimon chooses that moment to squeak loudly, and Satoru rushes up to check on her. Suguru lets out a sigh of relief. He never thought he’d say this, but for once he’s kind of glad about the hamster, as annoying as she is. 

Fuck, she is so annoying. She’d probably jump out of her cage or never shut up if he and Satoru ever had sex. They would have to exclusively fuck at his place.

They get comfy under the sheets when Satoru returns from checking on Bibimon with Satoru leaning into Suguru’s side like always. Their thighs are touching and Satoru is humming under his breath cutely while Suguru puts on a movie. It’s a horror he’s been meaning to watch for ages.

He regrets putting it on almost immediately because within the first five minutes, there’s already a jump scare that has Satoru flying into Suguru’s lap, one of his long legs thrown over Suguru’s lap, his head buried into Suguru’s neck as he yelps. Suguru shivers as he feels Satoru’s breath fan across his skin. 

Yeah, this is gonna be a long two hours. 

Last minute clubbing isn’t Suguru’s favourite thing. It doesn’t give him a lot of time to prepare and it fucks with his sleep schedule. Luckily he’d already dressed up for his earlier outing with Satoru, so he looks just as good as if he had dressed to go clubbing.

Satoru gets ready even with Suguru in his room, rummaging through his stuff for his favourite pair of pants that make his ass look sinfully good. He changes in front of Suguru without a care in the world — because honestly, why would he? They’ve done this before, literally earlier today — and Suguru tries not to stare too hard as Satoru pulls a new shirt on. Tries not to stare at his smooth, sculpted chest. Tries not to let his eyes linger on Satoru’s erect nipples, hardened from being exposed to the cool air of his room. 

Satoru puts on a pair of tight leather pants that very nearly sends Suguru into cardiac arrest because it’s like a second skin on him and shows off his rounded ass in the most obscene way. He pairs it with a loose off the shoulder baby blue sweater that draws attention to his collarbones and god, Suguru just wants to put his mouth over them — suck a mark into the skin. 

He’s gonna be fighting for his life tonight, he knows it. The attention Satoru’s gonna draw from men and women alike is gonna drive Suguru fucking crazy.

Right before they leave, Satoru picks his hamster out of the cage, cooing over her and telling her goodbye — tells her he’ll probably be home late so she shouldn’t expect him home until way after it’s dark, as if she can even understand any of that. He kisses her then proceeds to shove her in Suguru’s face again.

“Okay, your turn.”

“To do what?”

“Kiss Bibimon goodbye. Obviously.” 

Oh, of course. What else could Satoru have possibly meant? He should’ve known.

Obviously.

“… No.”

“Why noooot?” Satoru whines, stomping his feet. “Why are you so mean to her?”

“Why am I mean to her? Why is she mean to me?”

“Suguru, this is my baby. She loves you and you have to say bye so she knows you love her too.”

Suguru presses his thumb to the middle of his forehead and counts to five. 

“Bye, Bibimon,” he says as neutrally as he can.

“Okay, but don’t forget the kiss.”

They’re going to be late for the train at this point and Suguru knows if he and Satoru are late another time, Shoko is going to skin them alive. So he does what Satoru demands and kisses his hamster. 

Or tries to, at least. As soon as his lips are close, she honest to god puts a hand (paw? Suguru doesn’t know shit about hamsters) in front of her.

“Oh, she must be in a mood,” Satoru merely says and he places her back in her fucking cage as if she’s not always in a mood when she’s around Suguru. “We can go now.”

They leave, but not without Satoru turning back to yell “Bye, Bibimon, I love you!”

Suguru hates that fucking hamster.

They take the train and meet Shoko and the others there. Satoru heads to the bar first while Suguru searches for Shoko. He spots her at a booth where Nanami’s already got a drink in hand and Haibara is hanging off of Shoko, hanging onto every word as she recounts a recent work incident. Wow, even Ijichj’s there. 

When Suguru manages to catch Shoko’s attention he gives her a little wave and points to the bar. Satoru’s already ordered and the bartender is serving something pink and fruity for Satoru and something amber for Suguru.

“That’ll be 1800 yen,” the bartender grunts.

Satoru picks up his drink, wraps his lips around the straw, and flutters his lashes towards Suguru. Suguru sighs and throws down some cash

“Thank you, Suguruuuu,” Satoru coos, as if they didn’t both already know Suguru was going to be paying for all his drinks tonight, as he’s done every other night they’ve gone out.

God Satoru’s so fucking spoiled by him. He doesn’t even hate it. Suguru loves him so much.

Suguru guides Satoru to the booth their friends are at, his hand on Satoru’s lower back the entire time. 

Satoru slips in next to Haibara, loudly slurping his drink, and Suguru slips in next to Satoru. The rest of the group shuffles over — Nanami, Utahime, Shoko, Riko, and Ijichi.

“Don’t finish your drink so quickly,” Suguru chides, knowing the consequences of it. He’s almost finished his drink and Satoru is just such a lightweight.

“Yeah okay, dad,” Satoru rolls his eyes. “There’s like, barely any alcohol in this. It tastes like juice.”

Suguru snatches the drink and takes a sip. Vodka, definitely. Maybe some rum. He slides it across the table to Shoko who does the same while Satoru whines that they always do this.

She smacks her lips together. “Yeah, definitely too much for him to have almost finished this already. It’s a double so don’t let him have another one for another hour.”

“Hey! I’m a grown ass adult perfectly capable of handling my liquor — ”

At this, both Riko and Utahime snort as if he’s said the funniest thing in the world.

“- Why are you policing my consumption?”

“You tied all of our shoelaces together last time,” Shoko notes dryly, which in Suguru’s opinion, was kind of their fault for not noticing sooner.

Satoru had been sitting in the middle of the booth and had to pee, and rather than let everyone else move out of the way he’d just…slipped under the table. He’d been there for maybe a few minutes longer than necessary, but “I’m tall and I’m stuck” made sense to their inebriated brains.

They hadn’t been able to leave without some difficulties, aka undoing the countless knots.

“I’m not carrying you home again, either,” Suguru says, which is a complete lie, because he would love to carry Satoru home. In fact he loves doing it every time and watching the way Satoru goes docile and pliant in his arms. But he can’t let Satoru know that — partly because Satoru would demand he do it because Suguru my legs are soooo tired from all that dancing and partly because Suguru doesn’t want to clue him in on how in love he is with Satoru.

Also, Shoko is never going to stop giving him shit for spoiling Satoru more than he already does.

“What about that time he got himself handcuffed to Mei Mei’s boyfriend’s bed?” Haibara pipes up.

“That wasn’t because I was drunk!” Satoru defends. “It was ‘cause I was snooping.”

“Which you would’ve done while sober…?” Riko asks. 

“Yes,” the group collectively says. 

“Honestly I knew that. I  don’t know why I asked that,” Riko responds.

Suguru chuckles while the group regales stories of Satoru’s drunken adventures. He really is troublesome, and although none of the stories are bad, they are pretty funny. Satoru pouts the entire time, looking absolutely adorable. 

“Hey,” Suguru whispers. “I’ll get you another drink when I’m finished with mine, okay?”

This gets Satoru to brighten up a bit. “Great, I’ll help you finish,” and grabs Suguru’s drink, gulps down far too much…and spits it back into the glass. “This is whiskey? This tastes like poison and shattered dreams. Why are you drinking this?”

“Only paid 1000 yen for that, but thank you.” Suguru remarks. To be honest, Suguru has no problem drinking out of the same glass. There are already less sanitary places he wants his tongue to be when it comes to Satoru, but he keeps the facade up anyway.

“Right, and you can pay some more,” Satoru says this like he has no clue what the problem is, but the teasing smirk on his face says otherwise.

“Right, and I’ll pay for more when I’m finished this.” He keeps eye contact with Satoru as he takes a large gulp, matching Satoru’s. It’s not his favourite way to drink whisky, preferring to savour it, but well, it is what it is. He’ll start savouring it after.

This time Satoru looks especially put off, chewing on his straw, and this time Suguru caves. 

“You guys are disgusting," Shoko deadpans. The group murmurs an agreement. 

Suguru ignores them all. “I’ll be right back,” he announces. “Don’t let Satoru take my drink.” He won’t, but if they were somewhere else and it was non-alcoholic, he probably would’ve. What’s Suguru’s seems to be Satoru’s.

He returns with a surprise for Satoru, placing it in front of him. Satoru’s eyes light up with glee. 

“It’s a mocktail,” he says, but it’s not like it matters. He recognized the look on Satoru’s face as one he gets when he’s thirsty. It’s less that he isn’t allowed to drink, and more that he doesn’t have a drink.

Satoru sucks half of it down in seconds. 

“Yuu, let’s dance, come on!” Satoru yells, and Haibara nods eagerly, already climbing over Nanami’s lap to join Satoru. 

Satoru turns to Suguru. “You coming?” 

“Yeah, in a sec, just gonna head to the bathroom first.” 

Satoru nods and races off to the dance floor with Haibara. When he finishes up in the bathroom, his drink is starting to hit and he starts looking for the familiar head of white hair in the sea of people. It takes him less than a second to spot his six foot something, gorgeous best friend and the sight he’s met with makes bile rise in his throat. 

Here’s the thing. Suguru’s seen Satoru chatting up women before. He’s seen it countless times, and he gets it. His best friend is absolutely stunning so it’s no surprise that Satoru’s doing the same thing now, only it’s with a man hanging off his every word while he animatedly speaks, waving his arms to emphasize whatever he’s saying. He has his typical beaming smile on his face, pearly whites on display and no doubt charming the pants off the man who’s now stroking his arm suggestively. He wonders if Satoru even realises what he’s doing. 

Suguru’s jaw clenches and his fists tighten at his side as a wave of emotion crashes over him. 

Time and time again he’s pushed his feelings down to the bottom of his stomach and let Satoru be, occasionally finding his own guy to go home with. It doesn’t make it any less painful, but at least he tried.

Now, though, now he knows he has a chance — 

Except he doesn’t. Because Satoru didn’t tell him and it’s clearly because Satoru isn’t interested in him that way. And this guy won’t be the first or last one to be interested in Satoru either.

Suguru storms off in a huff, reaching for his cigarettes. He’s already bringing one to his lips and lighting it the minute he gets to the door. The bouncer glares at him.

Just his luck, Shoko is also there, smoking like she doesn’t have a care in the world.

She probably doesn’t, honestly. She never gets into the messes he and Satoru seem to be unable to avoid. Plus she’s all happy and shit in her relationship with Utahime, it’s sickening. 

“Damn, what’s got you in such a sour mood?” Shoko says as soon as she spots him. 

Suguru walks right up to her and exhales smoke. “What makes you think something’s wrong?”

“You wear your heart on your sleeve. Don’t even try.” 

Suguru sighs and swipes a hand over his face. Shoko raises an eyebrow at him as if to prompt him to continue.

“I probably shouldn’t tell you this but…I came across Satoru on Grindr.”

Shoko snorts and shakes her head. “Yeah, and?”

His eyes widen in realisation. “Wait, you knew?”

“Dude, who do you think helped the baby gay make his profile?”

And that — well that hurts, sort of, that Satoru went to Shoko and not him. Not that he’d have been happy to help Satoru make a Grindr profile, because that just goes against everything he wants with Satoru. But he still would’ve done it. 

Damn, does Satoru really not trust Suguru or something? 

“Why the hell didn’t he tell me?” 

“There’s a lot he doesn’t tell you.”

“Huh? What?” he says, as he watches Shoko drop her cigarette and stub it out with the toe of her heel. She just shrugs and turns towards the club.

“Hey wait, what’dya mean by that?” he asks, grabbing her bicep.

“Sorry,” she shrugs again. “Not my place to tell you,” she says, before entering the club again, leaving Suguru bewildered. 

After a moment, he follows her inside, mind racing a million miles a minute at what Shoko just dropped on him. What did she mean by that? What’s he missing? What else does Satoru keep from him? He frowns, unwilling to pull at that thread, afraid of what he might find if he keeps tugging, possibly unspooling a whole thread of secrets that Satoru might be keeping from him. 

Once inside, Suguru goes searching for Satoru. It’s easy to spot him and he’s about to head over when he registers what he sees, his heart dropping out of his ass. Satoru, sufficiently drunk now that the alcohol’s hit, dancing with a stranger’s hands on his hips.

Satoru spots him immediately and to Suguru’s utter delight, pushes the stranger away.

“S’guru, dance wih meeee,” Satoru slurs and drags Suguru to the dance floor. Their hands are intertwined as they make their way to the dancefloor and once they’re in the middle of it, Satoru swivels around with his back against Suguru’s chest.

“I love this song!” he yells, as he begins to sway his hips against Suguru’s crotch. Suguru chokes out a quiet, punched out moan and Satoru continues swinging his hips from side to side, clearly unaware of Suguru’s inner turmoil. Suguru grips Satoru’s hips in an attempt to stop him but it seems to only encourage Satoru, who whoops out a “Whooo!” and continues his motions. 

Suguru, who is also sufficiently too drunk to properly parse the meaning of this, gives up, and wraps his arm around Satoru’s waist instead. Leans his head over Satoru’s shoulder and inhales the sweet scent of Satoru’s cologne mixed with the musky scent of his sweat. 

It brings him back to the too many fucking times that he’s wanted to lick the sweat off Satoru’s skin after a particularly hard gym session, savouring the taste on his tongue. 

He feels himself harden slightly and hopes to god Satoru doesn’t notice. He mustn’t notice because his motions don’t stop, in fact, it seems like he presses even harder against Suguru, body rolling against him like it’s nothing. 

He looks across the dance floor and sees Shoko smirking, no idea as to why. Surely she must know Satoru’s sheltered upbringing means he has no idea what’s considered appropriate between friends and this is clearly what’s going on now. Like, Suguru knows this isn’t normal behaviour between friends but Satoru definitely doesn’t, as seen by his current behaviour on the dancefloor. 

They’ve also just never really had a normal friendship in the first place so really, Satoru definitely thinks this is just something bros do. And Suguru can be fine with that. Suguru can be fine and totally cool and normal when Satoru reaches behind Suguru to grasp at his hair, lay his head on Suguru’s broad shoulder and moan out, “Feel so good, S’guru,” because he’s just dancing with his best friend.

His best friend that he’s jerked it to numerous times while imagining him breathing those exact words into his ear as he rails him while he’s on his back, eyes glossy and half dazed and cock drunk on Suguru’s fat cock and —

Nope, he’s not doing this. He’s not ruining Satoru’s trust by entertaining these thoughts. Satoru just wanted to dance and that’s all they’re doing even though he’s fucking half erect from the friction. He can be a good, normal friend and just provide Satoru with the dancing experience he’s looking for and nothing more. 

He needs another fucking drink.

They spend the next two hours plastered on each other, Suguru relishing in the way Satoru’s body feels under his hands and against his chest. 

“God you two are so disgusting, get a room, honestly,” Utahime says, disgusted, once they slide back into the booth. His feet hurt from all the dancing but Suguru’s hands still tingle from how they’d held on so tightly around Satoru’s waist. How, at one point, he’d dragged his other hand down Satoru’s hardened chest, and his thumb had accidentally grazed Satoru’s nipple through his sweater. He swears he hears a moan, but he also gets very drunk, grabbing more drinks in between dancing sessions, so it could’ve been a figment of his imagination. Just some wishful thinking.

The night ends as it always does; Suguru dragging Satoru’s drunk ass home and stripping him of his club wear and into something more comfy. Maybe he stares a little longer at Satoru’s bare chest than he means to but he’s only a man. Just a little guy. Then throws on sweats of his own and climbs into bed with an already sleeping Satoru, dragging him so his back is against Suguru’s chest.

For once, Suguru is at Satoru’s apartment after work because Satoru insisted he had to keep an eye on Bibimon, who’s been sleeping more than usual and wants to keep an eye on her. Suguru suspects she’s just being attention-seeking because when he arrives, she’s running full pelt in her hamster wheel, not a care in the world. 

When he goes to greet her like he always has to, she immediately falls out of her hamster wheel and flops down like she’s dead. Satoru coos and reaches into the cage to pick her up with two hands, holding her securely before thrusting her in Suguru’s face. 

“Say hello to my baby,” Satoru says. They’re almost pressed nose to tiny, twitching hamster nose. 

Suguru sighs and drops his head back to look up at the ceiling. After a few seconds, he looks back and says, “Hi Bibimon.” 

She squeaks incessantly and he attempts to pet her with a single finger over her tiny head when she nips him. It’s nothing more than a pinching sensation but he pulls his finger back instantly and Satoru is immediately on him, chastising him for being too rough when he literally made sure he was being gentle. But there’s no arguing with Satoru about Bibimon so he apologises. 

Fuck this hamster. 

He walks into the dining room, where Satoru’s laptop sits and sets down his own across from Satoru’s. It’s just after exam season and they’re both set up to grade papers because they get competitive about who can grade the most papers in one night, with the loser buying dinner the following night. 

It’s their trick to being productive and they’re favourites amongst the student populace because of their reputation for getting marks out the quickest. And well, being relatively young and hot certainly doesn’t hurt their popularity, either. 

He drags his chair out to sit in front of his laptop, pressing the power button to boot it up and he can hear Satoru saying something to Bibimon and then some rustling as Satoru presumably places the godforsaken hamster back in its cage. 

“No cheating!” Satoru yells from his bedroom. “Don’t get started without me.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he yells back. A total lie. He totally would cheat but tonight, he’s feeling honest so he doesn’t. Just scrolls through Twitter on his browser while he waits for Satoru to return and does a google search for readily accessible animals that eat hamsters.

Not a minute later, Satoru waltzes into his dining room, looking devastatingly cozy, wearing an oversized sweater that hangs off one shoulder and reaches his mid thigh, paired with fuzzy Cinnamoroll socks, leaving his muscled thighs on display. 

Suguru averts his eyes before his mind takes him to unholy places, like imagining licking the insides of Satoru’s thighs and biting the soft flesh. He clears his throat. “Hurry up.”

“Alright, alright, don’t get your panties in a twist,” Satoru teases as he takes his seat across from Suguru.

They work in silence, the hum of the refrigerator and Satoru’s Animal Crossing lo-fi music as background music. By some miracle, Suguru manages to finish grading his papers before Satoru.

“No fair!” But before Satoru can go on and on about how Suguru somehow cheated, the doorbell rings. 

“Oh! That must be the postman, can you pretty please get it, Suguru? I think it’s my coffee machine. You can get it set up while I finish off these papers,” Satoru says with a smile, batting his gorgeous white lashes at Suguru. And because Suguru is a fucking sucker, he sighs — makes a big show of how he’s doing Satoru a favour and goes to the door to retrieve said parcel. 

When the delivery man hands over the parcel, Suguru frowns. The package is nondescript and far too thin to be a coffee maker.

“Are you sure it’s your coffee maker?” he calls out from the front door, frowning. “The package looks too small.”

“Yeah, it’s the only thing that’s supposed to come today!”

Suguru remains skeptical. The box is rectangular and he can hold the parcel in one hand. It’s not heavy. There’s no way it’s a coffee maker unless it’s those small ones that sit on top of the stovetop but he doubts that because Satoru mentioned it required setting up. He shakes it, hearing it rattle.

“No, seriously, there’s no way this is a coffee maker. It’s too small,” he says as he walks through the door that leads into the dining room. His interest is piqued now because what could it be if it wasn’t the coffee maker that Satoru was expecting? 

With a ‘shrrk,’ he peels off the tape holding the parcel closed and just as he does, Satoru is yelling “Wait! Wait! Don’t open it!” and scrambling towards Suguru, arms outstretched and tripping over his own feet.

But Suguru registers his request too late and pulls out what’s inside. 

It’s a dildo.

A really big, realistic looking one at that. 

Silicone and bright purple, heavy in his hands. He’s left there staring at the dildo in his hands then looking up at Satoru, unsure of what to say. Back and forth he looks, his mouth opening and closing as his brain tries to catch up. Just as he lands on an apology, Satoru blurts, “It’s a gift for Nanami!”

The sheer panic in Satoru’s eyes and body language lets Suguru know that it is most definitely not meant as a gift for Nanami.

“It’s a gag gift because we were talking about sex and Nanami’s such a prude you know and I just thought it’d be really funny if I gave this to him because — ”

“Satoru,” Suguru cuts, voice firm enough to stop Satoru from rambling even further. “It’s okay,” he says, much softer this time.

“It’s for Nanami,” Satoru repeats again, this time with less conviction, his eyes wide open and blinking owlishly at Suguru.

“I believe you, Satoru.” 

He doesn’t, not even a little bit, but it isn’t worth calling out because Satoru is clearly uncomfortable given his visceral reaction. He keeps his voice gentle and his body open.

“Oh,” Satoru says, eyes looking everywhere but Suguru. “Okay. I’ll…put it away then,” he stretches a trembling hand out as he waits for Suguru to hand the dildo over.  

“Yeah, um, you do that. I’ll be out here,” he says casually, placing the dildo lightly into Satoru’s open palm.  

He’d ask if Satoru wants him to leave, but that would mean acknowledging that this is an awkward moment, so he doesn’t. Whatever reason Satoru has for panicking like that doesn’t matter, he just doesn’t want to upset Satoru.

“It’s for Nanami,” Satoru repeats into the dead air between them, then swivels around and walks to his room with his shoulders hunched over, like he’s trying to make himself smaller.

Okay, so there’s clearly some embarrassment attached to…this. Suguru doesn’t even know what ‘this’ is. Is it that he uses sex toys? That he bottoms? Does he think he just accidentally outed himself to Suguru just because he likes something up his ass? 

Suguru’s not judgemental and he’s a little hurt that Satoru seems so hellbent on twisting the truth and hiding it from Suguru. But Satoru’s uncomfortable, so he’s not going to make this about him. Satoru has every right to share what he wants to share with Suguru. 

So instead, he decides to shake off the hurt and focus on making sure Satoru’s okay. This isn’t about Suguru’s feelings, this is about Satoru and his clear hang ups about his sexuality so he forces his hurt aside. 

Satoru doesn’t spend as much time hiding in his room as Suguru thought he would. He’d expected Satoru to hide out there under the pretense of playing with his hamster, but instead he comes out with some hesitancy, shoulders dropped, and doesn’t make eye contact. Suguru holds a hand out to signal Satoru over, and when he’s close enough, Suguru grabs his wrist and pulls Satoru onto his lap.

Satoru flinches.

Suguru tsks.

“Now who’s being weird,” he says, pulling Satoru right back when he attempts to jump off his lap again. 

This time Satoru lets him, going limp and hiding his face in the crook of Suguru’s neck. His nose, pressed against Suguru’s skin, makes him shiver, so Suguru merely wraps an arm around his waist and keeps him close. 

“Still you,” Satoru mumbles into his shoulder. “You and your bangs.” 

Fuck he’s so cute. Suguru loves him so much.

Suguru softly laughs. “Yeah, me and my bangs.” he agrees.

They end up staying like that for a while, basking in the silence, the continued sound of Animal Crossing lo-fi playing in the background. Satoru stays cuddled into his side, and in lieu of doing nothing, Suguru pulls out his phone and replies to some student emails. He lets himself follow Satoru’s lead, hoping it brings him comfort. It’s strange to see Satoru so quiet, but whatever he needs Suguru will give.

The sound of Satoru’s soft, even breathing and Suguru’s nails tapping on his phone fill the silence. Between being asked ‘can you change my 60 to a 90 please? I need a better grade to get into my post-grad program’ and ‘Hey I need a reference letter? Will you write me one? It’s due tonight,’ Suguru’s almost forgotten about the entire ordeal.

Almost, because eventually, Satoru speaks up.

Suguru’s busy trying to figure out how to explain to a student that no, he will not lie to their parents about all of their missing assignments when Satoru says, “I’m sorry.”

Suguru pauses typing, mid-rant in a text to Shoko that he’s sure she’ll ignore. Normally Satoru listens to his tirades, equally as perplexed and annoyed by the audacity of some students –- this one especially being a thorn in both their sides — but, well, Satoru doesn’t exactly seem to be in the mood right now, and honestly Suguru would rather tell him about it when they can both laugh about it.

He hates this kid almost as much as he hates Satoru’s hamster. 

Actually, scratch that. This kid is second to Yuta, Satoru’s cousin who’s in one of Suguru’s classes and hates him just as much as Bibimon, even though he’s done literally nothing. Just like the stupid hamster, Satoru is oblivious to how evil Yuta actually is. 

“Sorry for what?”

“For not telling you,” Satoru admits.

“Not…telling me what?” 

Satoru vaguely gestures to his room with a hand. He’s still not looking at Suguru, face still concealed in Suguru’s neck. He’s being so…shy, and Suguru’s so unused to it. It also kind of makes him horny. Too many of his fantasies involve him fucking the brattiness right out of his best friend and turning him into submissive, pliant mess, and seeing him so quiet and docile right now?

Suguru’s dick twitches, and he curses himself, hoping Satoru doesn’t notice what a terrible person he is.

He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath to steady himself.

“Not telling me what you’re into in your free time? Satoru, sweetheart, that’s not something you have to tell me.”

“No,” Satoru huffs. “That I’m…not straight.”

Suguru pulls away.

“Satoru, do you think having something up your ass makes you gay?” Satoru doesn’t answer. “Satoru, I’m gay and I only top.”

“Yeah because you’re not — ” Satoru cuts himself off with a click of his teeth as his mouth snaps shut and oh does Suguru know where this is going. Satoru’s about to spew some nonsense about himself that has to do with his conservative, homophobic upbringing.

“It’s not shameful to enjoy yourself, to feel good,” Suguru tries instead. 

“I don’t know, I just thought you’d look at me differently. Like I’m…weak or something.” 

“Weak?” Suguru repeats. He sighs, deeply. This is — not what he expected. “Okay, I’m going to tell you something and you have to promise not to get mad.”

“Okay,” Satoru quietly says.

“I’ve always thought you were weak.”

“Oh, fuck you,” Satoru says, pushing Suguru away. But he’s laughing, free and unrestrained, and so is Suguru. If the last thing he heard was Satoru laughing, he thinks he could die happy. 

“But seriously, I already uh, kinda knew.”

Satoru blinks at him. “How?“

“I saw your Grindr profile while I was on the app. Full of pictures I took of you, by the way.” 

“Oh.”

Satoru’s face drops — he’s much more upset than Suguru thought he would be, and that has Suguru frantically trying to figure out if there’s a reason why. Maybe he’s upset that Suguru will start watching a new show without him? The last person Suguru dated, he’d caved to their whims and finished the last episode of the tv show he and Satoru were watching. He watched it with his boyfriend, not Satoru, and Satoru had been fairly upset. 

They’ve started a new series, so maybe it’s that?

No, as selfish as Satoru is sometimes, it wouldn’t cause him to be this upset. This is genuine, not his usual spoiled petulance.

“I didn’t know you did that.” Satoru says, voice kind of…sad? 

“Do what?”

“Hook up, I guess. I know you date…,” he pauses, and looks down to the ground. “But not like, random hook ups.”

“Not really,” Suguru says, frowning in confusion. Okay, so maybe this is it? There’s something about Satoru’s demeanour that he doesn't like. He’s much more upset than reasonable. “I get bored. What were you doing there?”

“I was just looking!”

“Mmmm with a full bio and carefully curated set of photos, okay.”

Satoru’s face does something funny and before he can start spewing out excuses, Suguru speaks up again.

“It’s okay to hook up and bottom. Nothing shameful about it. Just be safe about it, okay?” Suguru says as reassuringly as he can.

As much as it pains him to say it, Satoru isn’t his. Satoru isn’t a possession he can claim all to himself like some thing, and the more he thinks about it, the more he needs something to do before he goes insane. 

He gets off the couch, intent on making some hot chocolate for Satoru. It’s something that will give him something to do and knows it’ll make Satoru feel better, the sugar always perking up any mood he’s fallen into. He gets halfway to the kitchen before Satoru blurts out rather loudly, “I’m a virgin!”

For what feels like the millionth time, Suguru freezes and looks towards a blushing, clearly flustered Satoru, who’s shrinking into the bundle of blankets on his plush couch. 

“I’m sorry?” Suguru says, because apparently his hearing is going, unsure if he’s started to have auditory hallucinations or what.

“I’m a virgin,” Satoru repeats, averting his eyes. Great, Suguru didn’t mishear him, didn’t suddenly get some auditory processing disorder, but then he shakes his head, confused because —

“Wait, what? Satoru, I’ve seen you go home with women.”

“I mean like,” he pauses. “Like an ass virgin.”

“An ass virgin,” Suguru deadpans.

“That’s a thing!” Satoru defends, glaring at Suguru with squinted eyes. 

“Uh huh, okay,” he replies. He takes a deep breath, counts to three, and exhales. “Let’s say it is a thing. Why are you telling me this?”

And why is blood already rushing to his dick, thinking about being the first person to touch Satoru there?

“I just wanted you to know. So you don’t think I’m like, tainted or ruined or anything.”

His half chubbed dick dies down immediately. Oh, for fuck’s sake.

Suguru takes three large steps back to Satoru and crushes him into a hug, blankets and all. 

“Oh, baby, no. No. Please don’t ever think that,” he soothes. 

“But — “

“Do you think any of our friends like that?” Slowly, Satoru shakes his head no. “So would that apply to you?” he asks even though he knows it’s just a byproduct of his upbringing, a wound that will take a long time to heal. Satoru shakes his head again and Suguru leads him over to the couch. 

They don’t speak for a while, just lazily cuddling on the couch now. Suguru lets Satoru mull over everything and gather himself before pressing on but then a thought occurs, and Suguru can’t help but ask, “How do you know you like anal if you’re a virgin?”

The silence is loud.

“You don’t have to answer that,” Suguru immediately backtracks. “I don’t know why I asked that.”

“Suguru, you literally opened a package containing a dildo. How do you think?” 

“… why did you start, then?” Suguru asks instead, immediately hating himself but still talking. “If you thought it made you weak or whatever, why did you try?”

Satoru’s face goes red.

“Satoru, baby?”

Satoru mumbles something so quickly that Suguru catches nothing but the word guy and tops, which are completely unhelpful to the conversation at hand. 

“You need to be clearer, Satoru.”

Satoru pretty much pouts and huffs while crossing his arms. “I told you. You didn’t listen. Does it matter?”

God this fucking brat. Suguru hates being in love with him.

“No, I suppose not,” he acquiesces.

There’s a moment where Satoru seems to be thinking. Then,“Would you ever consider bottoming?” He narrows his eyes. “Wait, if it’s not shameful why don’t you do it?”

“Because I much prefer topping, not because I’m embarrassed of it.” 

“Have you tried?” Satoru asks, curious.

“Yeah, twice. Not for me,” Suguru answers. 

“Right, yeah, okay.” Satoru says, nodding his head. “Good to know, good to know.”

“See what I like,” Suguru says, because it feels like he can’t stop now that they’re here. “Is seeing the utter bliss when I make them come. I like to play a bit dirty, you know? Tease them until they’re desperate.” 

Satoru makes a strange, whimpering noise which Suguru promptly ignores and again his better judgement, keeps going. 

“Kiss them everywhere until they’re heated, tease them a little with only one finger and slowly adding more because one isn’t enough. Bringing them to the cusp of ecstasy on my fingers alone until they’re begging for my cock.”

Suguru feels his face heat up, the tips of his ears burning. Why the fuck did he say that out loud? He glances over at Satoru who luckily, doesn’t seem perturbed by what he just said. But he does have a strange, dazed look on his face. 

“Right,” Satoru gulps. “And is that something you'd do to anyone?”

“Anyone,” he says, confidently, because he is a whore.

Then Suguru comes to a sudden realisation, a cold stone dropping in his stomach. “Hold on, Satoru. Were you going to lose your virginity to some random?” he asks, horrified at the possibility that someone unworthy of Satoru would get to touch him like that for the first time. That whoever would be lucky enough to be Satoru’s first time might not treat Satoru with the gentleness or reverence he deserves. 

“Um, yeah. I mean, how else? It’s not like anyone would date me.”

I’d date you, Suguru almost says but doesn’t because well, Satoru’s clearly not interested in Suguru. 

“That’s ridiculous, you can’t honestly think that,” Suguru argues. 

“Well, everyone’s always telling me I’m annoying or too much. ‘Hime is pretty much convinced I’ll die alone.”

“You wouldn’t, because I’d be around Satoru. And you know ‘Hime’s only joking.”

Satoru looks away, biting his lip and the look on his face is so insecure, it’s honestly alarming to Suguru. There’s a tense silence for a little while as Suguru stares at Satoru’s unchanging expression, twisted into something unfamiliar. 

“Satoru, do you really believe that?”

Satoru mumbles under his breath. 

“I can’t hear you, speak up baby,” Suguru says. 

“I don’t know. Yes? Maybe. I know it’s a joke with everyone but sometimes, it doesn’t feel like one. Nanami acts like I’m the worst person to ever exist and I know I don’t help by being me but I don’t know!” he says, flinging his hands up in the air. “Sometimes it feels like I’m no one’s favorite person and I’m never going to be. Well, that’s a lie. I’m Bibimon’s favorite person.”

Suguru is honestly reeling from this information. To know Satoru feels this way about himself and he curses his friends for making Satoru feel this way. Satoru looks like he’s on the verge of tears as he looks everywhere in his apartment but directly at Suguru. So Suguru hefts Satoru and rearranges him so that he’s facing him and has no choice but to look directly at Suguru, straddling his hips. 

“I am so serious when I say this Satoru. You’re my favorite person,” Suguru says, tightening his hold around Satoru’s waist, and one hand cupping Satoru’s cheek. “How can you think that? I spend like, every waking minute with you.”

“Yeah but what about when you find someone? When you finally find the one. Then it’s goodbye Satoru, and I’ll be alone with Bibimon to keep me company until I die, because she’s not dying before me.” Satoru exhales a puff of air. “How did we even get onto this topic anyway? We were talking about losing my ass virginity, not whether or not I’m gonna die alone,” he rambles, cheeks pink. 

“Even if I find someone,” Suguru says, a lump in his throat when he says it because even the thought has him feeling sick, “I’d never just drop you. You’re my best friend.”

“Right, best friends,” Satoru swallows, the words coming out a little gritted. 

“So like, just to clear everything up. You didn’t tell me you aren’t straight because you thought I’d think you were weak, or something?” 

Satoru nods. “You know how weird my family was, and being homeschooled didn’t help,” he grumbles. 

Okay, so Satoru didn’t tell Suguru not because he knows Suguru’s in love with him which is like, cool, he guesses. Nothing has to really change between them — Suguru just has to live with the knowledge that Satoru is a bottom and Suguru can’t do anything about that. 

“I know, it’s hard to unlearn all that shit. I get it. But Satoru, you really can’t think it’s a good idea to hook up with some random person for your first time,” Suguru says, because he genuinely can’t let that go. “You deserve better than that.”

“And what is it I deserve?” Satoru asks, genuinely curious and adjusting himself so he’s fully facing Suguru, legs tucked into his chest and his cheek resting on his knee, head tilted. He looks so fucking cute like this but the position forces Suguru to let go of Satoru and he mourns the warmth of Satoru. 

“Someone who knows what they’re doing — knows to be gentle but also knows how to take you apart at the same time,” Suguru says with a shrug, trying for nonchalance, keeping his tone casual like this is totally a normal conversation between bros. 

Everything in him is screaming. He knows he can be just that for Satoru. He thinks about it all the time. It’s all he wants. To put Satoru on his knees and take him apart and put him back together, hear those gorgeous sounds from someone he adores.

But Satoru is his friend - his best friend. No matter how much he wishes things were different.

Satoru’s eyes widen slightly and Suguru sees the way he swallows, his Adam’s Apple bobbing slightly.

“Know anyone like that?” Satoru says with an awkward laugh, like he’s joking but not really, his eyes boring holes into Suguru’s.

“Ummm,” he says dumbly. “Just. Anyone that you trust, really,” he says, unsure of how else to continue this conversation.

“You’re kind of the only person I would trust for that,” Satoru says.

And Suguru, in his infinite wisdom, not entirely paying attention, still thinking of Satoru on his knees, says, “Yeah I’d fuck you.”

Satoru’s eyebrows shoot up to his hairline.

“Wait, fuck. I don’t know why I said that,” Suguru spills out. Shit, fuck. Why did he say that out loud?

“So…you wouldn’t wanna fuck me?” Satoru asks, his brow creasing in confusion. His eyes are slightly downturned and he kinda looks like a sad puppy.

“Do…do you want me to fuck you?” he questions, tentatively, carefully. 

“Well, you said to do it with someone you trust,” Satoru says, a little defensively. “And I trust you…so…,” trailing off, averting his gaze and side eyeing the coffee table like it killed his hamster.

“I mean…yeah…but is that really a good idea?” Suguru asks, and wants to smack himself in the face for being so responsible because honestly, it sounds like a great idea. 

“Yeah, you’re right. It’s probably not a good idea,” Satoru mumbles. He huffs and snuggles deeper into the couch, placing a blanket over his lap and squirming a little.

“Satoru, you’re pouting,” Suguru says, amused.

“Am not,” he replies, bottom lip jutted out in a pout.

“You’re literally pouting while you say that,” Suguru says, leaning into Satoru’s space. “What’s wrong? Want my dick that bad?” he jokes.

He watches in real time as Satoru’s face turns cherry red, and splutters, “Oh my god, shut the fuck up,” pushing his face away with his hand.

Suguru snickers. “You sound like such a virgin right now.”

“I am one! And you won’t do anything about it!” Satoru says, straightening his back and looking at Suguru defiantly.

“Wait, ‘Toru, you actually want me to fuck you?” Suguru says, eyebrows raised.

He watches Satoru pick some lint off the blanket over his lap, huffing and puffing, cheeks red before finally —

“Yes, I want you to fuck me. I want you to do all — that, what you said before — to me. I wanna know what it’s like,” Satoru says, holding Suguru’s gaze like he’s challenging him. 

Suguru exhales and rubs a hand over his face. “Are you sure, ‘Toru? Like, this is a pretty big deal.” 

God he’s so insane to still push back on this but this is Satoru. He needs to make sure he’s not making a rash decision and that it’s actually what he wants. 

“I’m sure,” Satoru says, sounding a little more confident. “You said it yourself. My first time should be with someone I trust and I trust you with my life,” he says, fists clenching the blanket beneath him, teeth gritted with conviction. 

“Okay, um, okay,” Suguru manages. “Like, right now? You wanna — right now?”

He feels dizzy. Is this real? Is this actually about to happen? 

“Yes, right now. Why? You scared?” Satoru taunts, his mouth spread in a wide grin, the one he usually wears when he’s challenging Suguru.

Suguru scoffs, leans into Satoru’s space even more, his mouth just grazing the hard shell of Satoru’s ear. “Baby, I don’t think you know what you’re getting yourself into.”

He hears Satoru swallow thickly, pulls back and looks at Satoru with a smug grin on his face. “Still want to go through with this?”

“Yes,” Satoru whimpers, and god, that’s music to Suguru’s ears.

“First things first, kissing. Are we doing that?”

“Yeah, I want the whole works, no holding back Suguru,” Satoru demands, his brattiness already making an appearance. Suguru’s going to have so much fun with this.

“Oh, baby, you don’t want to know the things I’d do to you.”

“Suguru — oomph,” and the way Satoru whines his name is so sweet, his mouth on Satoru’s, immediately cutting off anything else he has to say

It’s rough, it’s sweet, it’s everything Suguru thought it would be like kissing Satoru. He’s a little dizzy with it, like the concept as a whole. He’s really kissing Satoru. It’s what his dreams are made of. 

He gets a tongue in Satoru’s mouth, pushing past his soft, cherry flavoured lips, devouring him, his taste, and Satoru kisses back just as fiercely. Suguru shifts their positions so he’s lying on the couch, head on the armrest, Satoru straddling his hips. 

They make out until the anticipation coils in his stomach, his body burning up. His hands roam everywhere — a hand in Satoru’s hair, the other on his waist, sliding down to his thick, muscled thighs. He feels Satoru grow hard on top of him and he gets giddy at the thought that he’s the reason for Satoru’s arousal.

Satoru pulls apart first. “Suguru —,” he breathes, eyes blown wide and lips red from all the face sucking they were just doing.

Whatever he was going to say is lost when Suguru pulls him back into the kiss, a hand cupped to the nape of Satoru’s neck. They’re staying exactly like this until Satoru can’t take it anymore, Suguru decides. If Satoru wants the full works, he’s going to pull Satoru apart.  

And soon enough, Satoru’s squirming on top of him. Wordlessly, Suguru grabs his hips and repositions him so his dick is right against Suguru’s, pulling him forward so they can grind against each other, rutting their clothed erections together, the fabric providing the friction they both need. 

“Oh, fuck,” Satoru moans against Suguru’s lips and deep in his mouth. 

Suguru sets the pace for Satoru to follow, and when he moves his hands from Satoru’s hips, Satoru keeps up the motion, desperately grinding against him, rolling his hips like he was born to grind on Suguru and it feels so fucking good. He looks so desperate above Suguru, cheeks pink and mouth in a perfectly shaped ‘o’ as he moans from the friction. Suguru has surely died and gone to heaven.  

“Suguru, can you — “ Satoru gasps, tugging and pulling at the hem of Suguru’s shirt.

“Later,” Suguru replies, breathless, dazed, in a dream. “Come on baby, keep going.” 

Again, he pulls Satoru back into the kiss and again, he guides Satoru’s hips, pulls him back and forth over his clothed cock, working them both up to aching hardness. 

Suguru waits until Satoru’s movements are completely frenzied, uncontrollably humping against him and his breath much more laboured, like he’s about to come soon so Suguru decides to stop.

Satoru attempts to continue but Suguru holds him still. 

“Alright, off,” he says and gently guides Satoru off of him who whines in response, sitting petulantly on the couch, a tent in his shorts. 

“Shh, s’okay baby, I’ll take care of you, okay?” and leans down to cup his cheek as he kisses him. He doesn’t pull away as he grabs Satoru by the hand, and leads him to Suguru’s bedroom, lips still locked together, kissing oh so sweetly and softly like the slow drip of sweet molasses.

“Wha —” Satoru seems like he’s barely registered what’s happening, breathing unsteady as they walk clumsily into Satoru’s room. Suguru pushes Satoru onto his bed and he lands with a quiet ‘oof,’ immediately using a hand to brush his bangs out of his wide eyes. Out of the corner of his eye, Suguru can see Bibimon pressed against her glass cage and he hears little squeaks. He ignores her. 

“Still want to see how I’d tease you?”

Satoru wordlessly nods, wide eyes already a little glazed over, his body trembling slightly. 

“Good. Take off your clothes,” Suguru orders.

Satoru is quick to strip down to his boxers, Suguru stopping Satoru from getting fully naked at the last minute, his large palm halting Satoru’s motions by grabbing his wrist.

“Leave them on for now,” Suguru says to a confused Satoru whose head is tilted adorably. His mouth opens to presumably question Suguru but snaps shut when Suguru starts ushering him further back onto the bed. He wants Satoru to be as comfortable as possible and what’s more comfortable than resting your head against the ridiculous amount of pillows Satoru has at the head of his bed.

Suguru slots himself between Satoru’s thighs, carefully aligning their groins and kisses him deeply. He grinds into Satoru, thoroughly enjoying the little mewls Satoru makes. Satoru desperately tries to hump up and match his pace but he holds Satoru’s hips in place. He doesn’t want Satoru to lift a finger.  

Suguru’s hands are everywhere, exploring every inch of Satoru’s smooth, bare skin, firm due to hard muscle underneath. 

Again, Satoru breaks the kiss “Suguru I want to —.” 

Suguru cuts him off with another kiss. He knows what Satoru wants — he wants to come. He’s already so needy, making these desperate sounding moans that Suguru needs to hear more of.

It’s only when Satoru is consistently trying to break away, writhing underneath him, tugging on his hair to pull him off, does Suguru pull away.

“Wanna — come,” Satoru manages to breathe out. It takes everything in him to ignore him, but Suguru has a plan. He’s going to take Satoru apart and milk him completely dry. He’s going to leave Satoru imprinted with his cock.

“Look at how wet you are, baby,” he says instead, rubbing his hand over Satoru’s erection still covered by his boxers. They’re absolutely soaked from all the pre cum. It’s cute just how turned on he is. “You just want to come?”

“Please.” Satoru’s voice comes out a little broken, and Suguru can’t wait to break him a little more.

Normally he’d strip only Satoru, but he takes his own underwear off as well so they’re on equal grounds, completely bare to each other. He’d also spend some time admiring Satoru’s hole, teasing him about how pretty it is, but he definitely knows that now is not the time. 

It’s definitely the right choice because all of Satoru’s previous bravado is gone in an instant. He nervously runs his eyes over Suguru’s body and gulps when they land on Suguru’s cock. He backs up a little as if he’s trying to run away, legs crossed over each other.

“Hey, it’s just me, baby. You don’t have to be shy,” Suguru says, rubbing a soothing hand on Satoru’s bare, milky thighs. He takes in Satoru’s body now that he has a better view, raking his eyes over Satoru from the top of his head to his hips. 

He’s absolutely beautiful, snow white hair all dishevelled, body completely flushed a lovely blush. His hardened nipples are begging to be touched and Suguru imagines playing with them, his lips sucking one while twisting the other in his fingers. God, even his cock is pretty, a light pink all over with the tip slightly red. He’s a decent size but Suguru is bigger. 

“I’m not shy,” Satoru tries.

“Great, so why don’t you spread your legs and let me see you, yeah?” Suguru says, his voice low, rough with arousal.

Slowly, Satoru spreads them apart, wide enough for Suguru to see everything. He’s blushing furiously and avoiding eye contact with Suguru. Not that it matters because Suguru isn’t looking at Satoru’s face anymore, it’s flickered down to Satoru’s hole which is tantalizing, pretty and pink and oh so tempting.

A quick glance of that puckered rim has him salivating, thinking about what he’d taste like. God Suguru would love to make him come on only his tongue. Another time, he hopes, when he’s gotten Satoru more comfortable with bottoming. There’s no way he’s letting Suguru’s face near it if this is how he’s reacting now and maybe Suguru can disguise it as a teaching moment or something, because this can’t be the last time he sees Satoru naked, this can’t be last time he makes Satoru feel good. 

He gets on his knees and stretches over to Satoru’s nightstand, where he knows Satoru keeps the lube. There’s a box of unopened condoms next to it, causing a tinge of annoyance. Sure, he’d seen Satoru on Grindr, but it’s not the same as seeing the condoms, knowing that Satoru had planned to be fucked. 

Whatever. He’s the one about the fuck Satoru now, even if it is just a one time thing, a friend helping out another friend. He’s gonna be the first one to do it, to touch Satoru like this and that’s enough. 

His chest feels unusually heavy at the thought but he pushes it away, choosing instead to focus on ripping open the box of condoms and pulling one out. 

Satoru narrows his eyes, glaring at him in the way he does when he doesn’t want or like something. He doesn’t say anything, though, and if Suguru had to guess, he probably wants Suguru to come inside him. He also doesn’t want to admit that out loud. He must be embarrassed about that, too.

God forbid he admits to being a pretty little cumslut. 

With some hesitancy, Suguru drops it back into the box.

Satoru relaxes a little.

Oh, so Satoru definitely wants it. He’s not going to address it out loud for Satoru’s sake. He knows they’re both clean, a perk of being friends with a doctor who makes them get tested so often they just started making dates out of it. He knows Satoru trusts him, and he trusts Satoru. Neither of them would dare break that trust, especially not for something like this.

Satoru probably wouldn’t have even let him touch him in the first place if he had anything.

He slots himself over the top of Satoru again, and feels Satoru freeze slightly.

“You’re being so good for me,” Suguru coos, lightly trailing his fingers down Satoru’s thigh to his crotch and down to his ass, lightly stroking his thumb over Satoru’s puckered hole. 

“It’s just me, sweetheart,” Suguru says, cupping Satoru’s cheek with his free hand, forcing Satoru to look at him. “It’s just you and me, okay? Relax for me and I’ll make you feel good. Okay?”

“Okay,” Satoru breathes. His eyes are a little glazed over but full of curiosity.

Suguru captures his lips again. He keeps Satoru’s attention on his mouth, nipping at his bottom lip and sucking on his tongue. He fumbles for the lube without looking, hand slapping around the bed and somehow manages to uncap the bottle and lube up his fingers. He rubs his fingers together to warm up the lube, and when the cold bite is gone, he circles his index finger around Satoru’s rim, catching the edge, never quite pushing in until Satoru starts twitching his hips up, trying to get Suguru to just do it.

“Use your words, sweetheart,” Suguru says. “What do you want me to do?” 

Satoru is completely flushed now, all the way to the tips of his ears, pupils blown wide and hair all mussed, fanning out on his pillows. He looks a little overwhelmed and Suguru hasn’t even put anything inside him. He looks fucking gorgeous, just as Suguru predicted, and Suguru is counting his lucky stars right now that he gets the chance to see this — he’s the first to see Satoru like this. 

“I…”

“You…?” Suguru repeats. Then, much more sweetly, in a bid to reassure Satoru, “You have nothing to be embarrassed about, okay? Ask for whatever you want.”

He’s going to break Satoru free from the shackles of his fucked up conservative upbringing if it’s the last thing he does.

Satoru swallows. He’s trembling a little, voice quiet and small when he says, “Please finger me.”

And isn’t that what Suguru wanted to hear? 

He finally pushes in, slowly, watching Satoru’s eyes flutter closed, letting out a breathy sounding moan. Suguru’s finger goes in easily, Satoru’s hole sucking his finger in, all the way up to the second knuckle. He thrusts in and out, testing out how Satoru’s feeling. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he can’t help but breathe out, because Satoru is. He’s the most beautiful person Suguru’s ever seen, with his half-lidded eyes, the gorgeous blue all dazed and hazy looking. 

Satoru makes an embarrassed whine in response and slaps his hands over his face and that just won’t do. He wants to see all the faces that Satoru makes when he’s feeling good; when Suguru’s the one making him feel good. 

Suguru steadies himself on his knees in between Satoru’s legs and with his free hand, gently tugs at the hands that cover Satoru’s face.

“Hey, no, don’t hide from me. I wanna see everything.”

“It’s embarrassing,” Satoru says through his fingers, voice muffled. 

“What did I say before? You have nothing to be embarrassed about. It’s just you and me. I’m not going to judge you, you know that,” Suguru says, as soothingly as possible. 

Satoru nods once, a slight jerk of his head and swallows thickly. 

“Okay,” Satoru whispers, and shakily removes his hands, awkwardly placing them beside himself, hands curling around his Egyptian cotton sheets. 

“Good boy,” Suguru praises and watches Satoru’s Adam’s apple bob as he gulps at the praise. He suppresses a laugh because of course Satoru would have a praise kink and starts thrusting the single finger still pressed into Satoru’s ass once again. 

His thrusts are slow, wanting Satoru to get used to the sensation but he knows Satoru is ready for another when he starts wiggling his hips and looks somewhat more coherent. And he can’t have that, can he? No, he wants a completely fucked out Satoru — wants Satoru begging Suguru to fill him with his cock. 

So he curls his finger up to find Satoru’s prostate, presses against it, and Satoru jolts.

“Suguru, oh fuck, Suguru,” he groans. “Th - That feels so good.”

Satoru’s wanton moans are music to his ears, especially when Satoru can’t stop moving his hips, meeting Suguru’s upwards thrusts with a downward jolt of his hips — can’t stop the breathy moans from falling his parted lips, still red and kiss-bitten. Suguru sees the flash of white teeth as Satoru bites down on one side of his lip. 

“Aw, look at that, sweetheart. Falling apart on just one finger,” he teases. He crooks it in a way that causes Satoru to let out a sob. “Ready for another?” he asks, throwing Satoru a bone. Normally he’d make him beg again but honestly, he’s still not sure where Satoru’s feeling on the shame scale and he doesn’t want to push him. 

“Another, please,” Satoru whispers, and oh, fuck. Another ‘please’ already? Suguru’s dick twitches in his pants and he’s so fucking hard, it aches. Getting Satoru to say please is one of the hardest things he’s ever had to do and here, he’s done it twice without actively trying. 

“Of course,” Suguru says, slipping the second right in, alongside his index finger, watching Satoru’s face for any signs of discomfort. When he finds none, he gets to work immediately, feeling the taut skin stretch around his thick fingers and pumps in and out, scissoring his fingers inside Satoru’s slick walls, searching for that magical bundle of nerves. He knows he finds it once his fingers slide in deeper, crooking them upwards and Satoru wails and Suguru has to bite down a moan upon seeing Satoru’s expression.  

“Feeling good?” Suguru asks. Satoru’s eyes have rolled to the back of his head and his mouth is agape, breathy moans spilling out. His face and chest are flushed pink. There’s a light sheen of sweat covering his body. 

He’s absolutely feeling good.

Satoru doesn’t answer. He pulls Suguru down for a kiss with a hand curled around the back of Suguru’s neck and Suguru’s tongue is immediately in Satoru’s mouth as he swirls their tongues together, licking inside Satoru’s mouth like his life depends on it. He doesn’t stop the rhythmic thrust of his fingers as he continues stretching Satoru out. 

Kissing Satoru while fingering him is probably one of the hottest things in the world. There really isn’t anything comparable, Suguru thinks. It’s divine, the way Satoru’s hole is sucking in his fingers, the skin stretching around the width of his fingers perfectly. Satoru’s so perfect, his body trembling at the dual stimulation in both his holes. 

“Suguru I need —.“ Satoru cuts himself off, voice shaky, a pinched expression on his face like he’s struggling to get the words out.

“What do you need, sweetheart? Words, baby,” Suguru coaxes, still thrusting his fingers slow and deep. 

Satoru spreads his legs a little wider, tilts his hips in a bid to try and get Suguru to reach deeper.

Suguru slows down. Satoru sobs.

“Words, baby,” he repeats. “You haven’t said if it feels good and you’re not telling me what you want. How am I supposed to know what to do?” he teases, because he just can’t help himself.

“More,” Satoru whispers. “I want more,”

“More as in my fingers? More as in the lube? More kissing? I can’t read minds, Satoru.” 

Satoru swallows. “… another finger.”

“Good boy,” he says as he slides his fingers out slowly, and drizzles more lube on his fingers before sliding inside Satoru.

Satoru keens as Suguru’s fingers first stretch him open, his ring finger now bullying its way into Satoru. Desire burns deep within Suguru, his heart pounding through his ears and his cock is rock solid. Yeah, he’s never going to be the same again. Not after feeling how tight Satoru’s hole is around his fingers, or seeing how beautiful Satoru looks as he stretches him out. And god, the sounds. It’s like a chorus of angels – Satoru’s ruined anyone else for him.

The way he moans and gasps, the way he tastes when Suguru kisses him. Everything about him is perfect.

Once his fingers are comfortably inside Satoru, the muscles soft and supple, Suguru speeds up his thrusts, curling them at the right moment and scissoring them when he’s deep inside to stretch him out. Suguru doesn’t like to blow smoke up his own ass but he has it on good authority that he’s got a big dick and hurting Satoru is the last thing he’d want. 

Satoru’s practically incoherent now, babbling nonsense, drool pooling at the corner of his mouth, tears in his eyes at how good everything feels. He’s desperately clawing at Suguru’s back while Suguru nips at his jaw and neck, leaving behind red, blooming bruises. 

“Perfect,” Suguru murmurs in his ear. “You’re so perfect,” he can’t resist breathing out.

Because he is. And Suguru could do this forever.

Satoru’s noisy as fuck, just as Suguru had hoped, deliciously moaning with pleasure. 

“Satoru, baby,” Suguru coos. “Look at how much you’re enjoying this. How could something so pleasurable ever be shameful?” 

He’s not expecting an answer, not with the way Satoru is mindlessly grinding his hips down to meet Suguru’s fingers while his fingers useless scrabble at his sheets. 

He twists his fingers, watches as Satoru goes cross eyed, then does it again. The silky walls of his hole clenches around his fingers. 

He’s going to come, Suguru realizes. Satoru’s body thrashes, desperate and needy, searching for just that extra something to help with his release. 

Satoru is practically chanting Suguru’s name now, begging to come, breathless with it. His body jerks at the slightest touch and Suguru watches, absolutely mesmerised. 

“Baby, pretty baby. So good for me. You’re doing so good for me,” he can’t help murmuring. 

He watches as Satoru’s thighs tense, the muscles on his quads beginning to spasm, legs locking up and at that, he slows down because again, he’s going to show Satoru what he deserves. How he deserves to be treated in bed and he’s going to show Satoru exactly what pleasure should feel like. Satoru should never have to settle for less than.

“S-Suguru, what the fuck?!” Satoru exclaims, his eyes narrowed in betrayal.

“Patience, baby,” Suguru coos. He starts up again, switching between languidly fingering Satoru and assaulting his prostate. He watches as frustrated tears form in Satoru’s gorgeous eyes, listens to his voice when he cries out Suguru’s name, the only thing he seems to be able to say. 

He’s so fucked out by the end of it, eyes completely clouded and glistening with tears, his eyes resembling the clearest clarity of jewels.

And then Suguru gets a very bad, no good idea. “You want more, sweetheart?”

“Wanna come,” is Satoru’s breathy reply, eyes watery and pleading. 

“Give me a sec, baby.”

He pulls his fingers out slowly, once again causing Satoru to cry out in frustration, and leans over to rummage through Satoru’s bedside drawer to find — oh. 

Turns out the toy Satoru had delivered today isn’t his first toy. Isn’t even the second toy he owns. There’s a pretty butt plug with a blue crystal on the end still in its packaging and then well, the other one — the one not in a box. It’s made of silicone, girthy and veiny and has a suction cup. Suguru’s lizard brain starts thinking of Satoru sticking it to the floor, riding it to his heart's content, grinding on it till he comes. Or maybe against the wall so he fuck himself against it, face pressed to the mattress - 

Yeah, he wants that.

Suguru takes his hand off his dick — has no idea when he started unintentionally stroking himself.

The difference between the new and old dildo is one has a suction cup and the other vibrates. They’re different colours too, but other than that they’re pretty much the same, and Suguru grabs the one with the suction cup first. 

He holds the dildo up to Satoru. “You use this?”

Shame suddenly fills Satoru’s face and he turns his head away. “Not uh, really. I actually only even got it because — ” 

“Hey,” Suguru says gently, once again cutting Satoru off. He strokes the inside of one of Satoru’s thighs, tucking his reactions away for a later date. “It’s just you and me, Satoru. You can tell me. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. You can be honest with me.”

Satoru takes a shaky breath, scrunches his eyes closed before shakily admitting, “I use it.”

“How often?”

“… a lot,” he admits after a moment, voice croaky like it took everything in him to admit.

“Thank you for telling me Satoru. You’re so good, aren’t you?”

The effect is immediate and Satoru keens, a shy smile on his face.

“I’m going to use this on you, okay?”

“Wait but I thought —” his eyes glancing towards Suguru’s dick before flickering back up to his face, his face scrunched in a cute frown.

“You thought what, sweetheart?” Suguru croons. He lubes up the dildo, sits between Satoru’s legs. “Relax for me, baby,” and guides Satoru’s hands to hold the back of his thighs, pressing them up to his chest. 

“What’re you gonna do?” he asks nervously, legs twitching like he wants to instinctively close them.

“Keep them open for me, baby,” Suguru instructs, before pressing the tip of the dildo into Satoru’s red, puffy hole.

“Buuu- oh, fuck,” Satoru moans wantonly, eyes once again rolling to the back of his head. He spreads his legs a little wider as if trying to accommodate the girth of it, fingers pressing down in the meat of his thighs as he keeps them pressed to his chest so tight until the skin is white. 

Suguru watches Satoru’s hole stretch to accommodate the girth of the toy, gets it all the way in and stops. “You like using this?”

A wordless nod, then as if Satoru’s realized something, “Yes.”

Suguru twists the dildo, watches as Satoru’s toes curl and slowly pulls it out. 

“Suguruuuuu,” Satoru whines. 

“Patience, come on, you’re being so, so good for me,” Suguru croons. 

Satoru huffs as he lets his legs fall from his previous position and Suguru gestures for him to sit up, shoving all the pillows onto the floor. They all fall with a thump and he leans behind Satoru who’s watching him with curiosity and suction cups the dildo onto the headboard. “Show me.”

Satoru furiously blushes. “Excuse me?” he squeaks out, sounding just like his stupid hamster.

Like parent, like child or whatever. He fuckin’ hates that hamster but at least Satoru sounds cute when he squeaks.

“Show me how you like to fuck yourself,” Suguru says simply. It might be a little too much, but he’s hoping he can break through Satoru’s shame just a little. “No need to be embarrassed, baby. It’s just me, remember? I already know how much you like this. And you want to be good for me, don’t you?” 

The praise seems to do something to Satoru and he nods in agreement. Slowly, Satoru tucks his legs underneath him and shifts positions so that he’s backed up against the dildo on his hands and knees.

He considers demanding Satoru look at him while he does this, but this is probably a touch too humiliating for Satoru and Suguru’s probably pushed him to his limit, so he stays quiet. Satoru’s staring down at the mattress, avoiding eye contact, one hand clutching at his sheets and the other reaching behind him to feel for the dildo. He has a hand wrapped around it and shuffles his body to position himself in front of it. 

God, he’d love to see Satoru shimmying his ass in front of his face but it doesn’t matter that Suguru can’t watch Satoru’s perfect ass when he can watch his face as he sinks his hips back onto the dildo. Satoru throws his head back and his eyes flutter closed, letting out a little gasp. His mouth is practically stuck in a little ‘o’ as he pushes back.

He arches his back, hips up high, like a perfect little slut and Suguru has to suppress a moan as his dick twitches and precum dribbles out. Shit, Suguru is so into this — wishes he had that view of Satoru in front of him as he fucked his cock in and out of Satoru. But this will have to do, for now.

Satoru starts to moves his hips, thrusting back and forth, fucking himself on the silicone cock that Suguru wishes was his and moans. Satoru’s cock hangs heavy and untouched between his thighs as he continues fucking back and forth and he looks so fucking hot. Suguru can’t take it and gives himself a few strokes of his own cock before squeezing at the base. He’s going to come inside Satoru or not at all. 

Suguru is watching in awe as Satoru continues to work himself on the stupid, plastic cock when his eyes briefly flick up to Suguru.

“Doing so good for me, baby,” Suguru encourages as he strokes himself. Satoru keens and his eyes flick down to watch Suguru stroking his cock.

“Fuck, Suguru,” Satoru whines, eyes glued to Suguru’s hand as he palms himself and grabs it at the base, hips twitching. 

Satoru’s eyes are glistening with tears, dripping down his pretty, flushed face and Suguru can’t help but picture how pretty Satoru would look with his fat cock down his throat, choking on it as he face fucks Satoru’s pretty mouth. God, he wants that so bad but today’s not about him. 

He watches as Satoru speeds up his motions, shoulder muscles tensing as he holds himself up and pushes himself back onto the fake cock. His movements become erratic, a string of pre-cum drips from the tip of Satoru’s pretty pink cock and his thighs start to shake. 

“Stop,” Suguru says, squeezing his cock at the base once again. 

He shuffles on the bed and reaches behind Satoru, feels around the area where Satoru’s hole is stretched around the suctioned dildo and slides Satoru off of it. 

“You’re a sadist,” Satoru keens, petulantly, even as he follows Suguru’s instruction.

“And you’re impatient,” he says, giving Satoru’s perky ass a light slap. Satoru lets out a quiet moan and Suguru tucks this information away for another time. 

“I wanna watch you fuck yourself,” Suguru states as he leans over to the bedside table again to take out the dildo delivered today.

“Is it embarrass Satoru day or something?” Satoru asks, burying his face in his hands. 

He turns to face Satoru once again, and reaches out to pry his hands away and cups his cheek. Satoru immediately leans into his hand but looks at him with furrowed brows.

“Trust me when I say that you are doing the exact opposite of embarrassing yourself,” Suguru says, assuredly. “It’s the sexiest thing I’ve seen.”

And Satoru perks up at that, his eyebrows raised with the smallest twinkle in his eye. If Satoru had a tail, Suguru thinks he’d be wagging it. “Really?” he asks. 

“Really, now let’s give your new friend a try, yeah?” 

With renewed vigor and a little less shame, Satoru nods his head

He breaks open the vibrating one with plans on stimulating Satoru’s prostate.

That does the trick. Satoru’s a little timid, but slowly he turns onto his hands and knees, making little gasps at the dildo presses inside him. 

He reaches behind him and slowly starts an even pace. 

He doesn’t moan as much as when Suguru was fingering him, which kind of boosts his ego a bit. 

Eventually he gets a little frantic, roughly pumping the dildo inside of him, giving Suguru the notion that he can definitely take whatever Suguru is going to give him. 

“Satoru, baby, can you slow down?” Satoru slows his hand, enough that Suguru can push it out of the way and replace it with his own. He pulls the dildo all the way out and back in, changing the angle. Satoru wails. 

He grinds the dildo on Satoru’s prostate with complete accuracy, watches as Satoru trembles then starts to go limp, unable to keep himself up for much longer.

He thrusts the dildo deeply and brings Satoru right to the cusp of an orgasm, then pulls out, slows down, and starts the process all over again. Satoru’s drooling all over the pillow, eyes full of frustrated tears. He’s a beautiful mess.

Suguru pulls the dildo out, sets it aside. “Turn around, sweetheart.”

Satoru rolls over, limbs made of jelly, all loose limbs.

Suguru climbs on top of him, cages him to the bed and urges him to wrap his legs around his waist. Their lips meet together again, Satoru so fucked out that he can only let Suguru kiss him however he wants. His mouth is pliant and open, all for Suguru’s tongue to lick around the way he wants. It’s so sloppy and Satoru can’t stop moaning and bucking his hips up, their bare cocks hard and sliding against each other. Satoru buries his hands in Suguru’s hair like he wants to keep him there as they keep kissing, moaning deep into Suguru’s mouth as Suguru also starts rolling his hips. Their cocks slide against each other, the heat of Satoru’s cock pressed hard against Suguru’s fat one; he can practically feel Satoru’s heartbeat against his dick. 

Precum oozes between the two of them, both their cocks dribbling between their stomachs, making the slide against each other slippery and the sensation electric. 

Suguru feels like he’s going to die

He continues grinding hard against Satoru, feels his thighs tremble beneath him, the tensing of muscle pressed against him, the signal that he’s going to come. So, Suguru stops. He flips Satoru over onto his stomach, who yelps in surprise but goes without protest. From this position, he has the perfect view of Satoru’s sculpted ass, so rounded and muscled. It’s shiny between his cheeks where his hole is. 

Suguru shuffles up and spreads Satoru’s cheeks, sees that his hole is soaked and uses his thumbs to press the base of his cock so that it lies sandwiched between Satoru’s ass cheeks. He slowly thrusts between them, the lube providing a slick surface for Suguru to grind against.

“Suguru, Suguru you gotta -” Satoru tries to choke out, breathing all ragged. “I want -”

His cock catches against Satoru’s hole, every now and then but not even close to entering him. It causes Satoru to go insane and whines out something frustrated. Suguru chuckles to himself and Satoru turns his head to glare at him.

“Sugu —.” He cuts himself off as Suguru leans down and sucks a hickey into his neck, Satoru tilting his head so that Suguru has easier access to his long pale neck. 

"You want what, sweetheart?" Suguru asks, careful to make it sound almost innocent rather than mocking.

Satoru gulps. Slowly, he pulls himself together, his gaze unwavering against Suguru’s and says "I want you ... to fuck me."

Perfect. Suguru picks up the toy again, pulling away from Satoru and causing him to let out a displeased whine. Suguru misses the heat of Satoru’s needy hole against his cock, but he’s a man on a mission.

"Just did, didn't I?" Suguru says, waving the toy around. There's a flash of understanding on Satoru's face, and a little bit of fear. Suguru sets the toy down and resumes his position on top of Satoru, pressed down hard against his back yet kissing him fiercely, their tongues meeting viciously again and again. Sliding and touching tongues in the most filthy way possible, Suguru doesn’t think he’s ever felt so good.

He grinds against Satoru again, and the weight of him allows his cock to seamlessly slip between Satoru’s cheeks again. But it’s not enough so he detaches himself from Satoru who makes a little noise of protest as their lips break apart. 

Suguru flips Satoru over again, presses himself down in an instant so their cocks are pressed against each other and starts to thrust against Satoru again, their bare cocks dragging alongside each other as he smashes his mouth against Satoru’s, bracing himself with his forearms on either side of Satoru’s head. As soon as their cocks make contact, the noise Satoru makes is so precious to Suguru that he does it again and again, needing to hear him. He's so loud that his neighbours can probably hear him. Hell, they're probably pissed considering how long Suguru's been dragging this on for.

Similar to when they first started, whenever Satoru breaks the kiss, Suguru follows him, kissing him hard before he can say anything, until he's lightheaded, too desperate and horny to think.

Once Satoru begins to thrash underneath him, trying to grind his hips up into Suguru, Suguru lets him pull away.

"Suguru, Suguru, Suguru -" Satoru chants, just his name over and over again. His eyes were squeezed shut but now they flutter open, Satoru trying his best to look Suguru in the eyes as well. "I...I want..." he cuts himself off again.

Suguru cups his cheek. "Just you and me," he promises again. He’ll say it as many times as he has to. "You don't have to be ashamed of anything that makes you feel good, okay? You're not going to be ruined. I -”

I love you.

“I promise,” he says out loud.

Satoru takes a deep breath, gathers his thoughts, licks his lips and determinedly says, "I want you to fuck me with your cock."

Finally.

Suguru smirks. "That's my good boy." 

He lubes himself up, spreading the viscous liquid along his length and shivers. God, he’s probably going to come as soon as he enters Satoru and wouldn’t that be embarrassing. He can’t let that happen so he grips himself hard at the base, choosing to turn his attention onto Satoru. 

“Turn around, ‘Toru,” he orders, and Satoru eagerly complies. Once he’s on his stomach, Suguru drizzles extra lube against his soft, red hole and slides three fingers inside Satoru to double check that he's ready. Satoru keens with a punched out moan at the end, high pitched like a well trained whore. Once satisfied that Satoru is ready for him, he gets Satoru to turn around again and spreads Satoru’s legs, wide enough that he can comfortably position himself between them. He thanks Shoko for dragging Satoru to all those yoga classes because his legs are spread so wide, it’s obscene.

Once settled on his haunches, cock pointing upwards and oozing precum, so hard it hurts, he tilts Satoru’s face towards him and says, “Look at me, baby. Eyes open. Need to make sure you’re not in any pain.” 

Satoru frowns at Suguru, his brow creased. "I'll tell you if it hurts."

He uses a thumb to gently smooth out the crease. "That's not how this works, sweetheart. You're going to look at me until I say otherwise. Understood?"

"Understood," Satoru says, voice wobbly and almost sounding a little shy.

"Good boy," Suguru praises again, loving how Satoru reacts every time. 

He slowly feeds his cock into Satoru, grasping his cock at the base and pressing the fat head of his cock against Satoru’s slicked up rim, red and puffy from the earlier abuse, his precum oozing out of the slit, and mixing with the lube sliding out of Satoru’s hole. 

The head of his cock breaches Satoru first, pushing past that first ring of muscle before popping itself in. He feels Satoru clench around his tip and he has to fight a groan, biting his bottom lip. Suguru doesn't take his eyes off Satoru the entire time, watching him for any sort of discomfort. Satoru’s pupils are dilated, no remnants of the blue remaining and he's struggling to breathe, breaths hitching every second inhale. 

“Y-You’re so, fucking big. Wh-What the everloving fuck,” Satoru manages to breath out.

Suguru chuckles. He knows. 

"Deep breaths, sweetheart. Here, breathe with me." He places his hand on Satoru's stomach, and slowly, breath by breath, inch by inch, he carefully enters, warm, velvet heat wrapping around his shaft. It’s never felt this good with anyone else. It’s like finding water for the first time in a desert, like the first spot of warmth from the sun after a long winter, the first mouthful of food after starving.  

He fights with himself, fights against the desire to just shove the remaining inches of his cock into Satoru and start fucking him. The urge to take care of Satoru wins over instead, the desire to make this experience the best he’ll ever have. He only wishes he could be the only experience Satoru would ever have, but that’s just not realistic, his heart clenching momentarily at the reality. He ignores the pain in his chest, turning his focus back to Satoru.  “You’re doing so good, ‘Toru,” he praises, watching Satoru’s body shiver at the praise. 

Satoru's so beautiful the entire time, even though he struggles hard to look Suguru face to face. He averts his eyes, looks away, scrunches them closed, occasionally tilts his head, all before remembering what he's supposed to do and returning back to look at Suguru. It's honestly super cute of him, he’s like a confused, disgruntled cat. Suguru loves him so much.

He’s going to remember Satoru's face for the rest of his life, he thinks.

I love you so fucking much, his stupid brain supplies. 

And because he’s Geto ‘suppresses his emotions’ Suguru, he ignores that voice that says ‘communicate’, and continues inching inside Satoru, shakily breathing as the hot walls of Satoru’s ass engulfs his cock.

Once fully seated inside Satoru, he takes his hands off his stomach and leans back on his knees, running his hands soothingly up and down Satoru’s thighs. "All done," he says, fighting the deep, carnal urge to keep thrusting. "Let me know when you're ready," and he leans back down to kiss Satoru, hoping it’ll relax him. 

Satoru's hands tangle into his hair, drawing him oh so close. They end up pressed chest to chest with how tightly Satoru pulls him close. The sound of his fast heartbeat melting with Suguru’s own. Though he’s sure the reason for Satoru’s rapid heartbeat differs vastly from Suguru’s own. 

They continue to kiss, Satoru kisses him urgently, his mouth and tongue desperate like he needs Suguru’s mouth to breathe, to exist and oh Suguru is deluding himself isn’t he? Projecting his own wants and desires onto Satoru, but he can’t help it. This moment is so intimate, so close, it’s nothing like he’s ever felt before. He tries, in vain he’s sure, to pour how he feels for Satoru through his kisses, through the way his fingers tangle tenderly in his hair. Even if there’s only a 0.005% chance it’ll get the message across, and Satoru accepts, he’ll take it. 

Their sweaty chests are pressed together, Suguru’s cock deep inside Satoru’s warm, wet hole; everything feels good and Suguru is dizzy from it all. 

"You're so big," Satoru remarks again, pulling back from the kiss, wiggling his hips a little. 

Suguru hisses at the action, the motion forcing Suguru’s cock to slide minutely against Satoru’s walls. He doesn’t comment but he knows he’s bigger than Satoru's toy, that's for sure. His dick is also slightly more ridged and curved as well, and he's pretty sure it's made for Satoru. He doesn't say this out loud, though, because he doesn't want Satoru getting too embarrassed and he might sound a little crazy. But he does think of doing this again, at a later date, when he can be much freer to say dirtier things to Satoru. 

One day. Hopefully. Maybe. 

Yeah, no he's not letting Satoru date someone else after this, nope. (Not that he gets much of a say, his traitorous brain supplies). 

"Yeah," Suguru lightly laughs, ignoring that pang in the middle of his chest like someone’s slid a blade through his ribs. "You okay for me to move?"

"Yeah, you can move."

In all honesty, he doesn't need to be too careful. He's already seen what Satoru can take, but it's still the courteous thing. He slowly pulls out all the way, then back in, hearing Satoru let out a soft sigh.

"You can go faster," Satoru says, propping himself up on his elbows, eyes half lidded as he rolls his hips, urging Suguru on. His hole clenches around Suguru, so tight and warm. God he feels amazing.

"I think I like it like this," Suguru says a little meanly. Oh, if Satoru wants to play, Suguru can play.

Satoru's eyes snap open. He glares up at Suguru. Perfect, he already understands the game. "Suguru, you've teased me enough. Pleeeeeeeeease go faster."

Except his voice is stable, the tears in his eyes have dried, and Suguru's not done having fun. "You know why I like topping, Satoru?"

Satoru watches him for a second and gulps. "Why?" he asks, uncertainty in his tone. 

"Because I like tearing the people I'm with completely apart and putting them back together. I like seeing the desperation on their faces as they beg for the thing only I can give them."

"You're selfish," Satoru remarks cattily, and Suguru has the slightest inkling he's just trying to egg Suguru on. "What about what I want?"

"You want to come. and that's why you're not going to," emphasising his point with a single rough thrust of his hips – punches a deep groan out of Satoru.

“You’re so mean. "What —," and then Suguru changes his angle, rolling his hips just right so that he can press his dick right against Satoru’s prostate. Satoru cries out and his elbows collapse under him as Suguru continues to press the head of his cock against Satoru’s prostate. presses his dick right against Satoru's prostate, and watches as he goes crazy underneath him. Nails dig into his back. It stings slightly, but he barely notices it when Satoru's clamping on his dick, squeezing so tight Suguru can barely move.

He continues to tease Satoru, fucking him hard and fast, snapping his hips against Satoru until he cries out Suguru’s name again, and when he’s on the cusp of an orgasm, quivering underneath him, nails digging into his back, hole fluttering around his cock - he slows down again.

It causes Satoru to sob, those pretty blue eyes full of tears of frustration. Suguru completely overwhelms him, teasing him to hell and back. He can’t help himself, either. Satoru is so pretty and the arousal in his stomach burns and he wants nothing more than to do this forever, to see Satoru in so much ecstasy. His white hair is all mussed and dishevelled and his lips are pink and kiss bitten and his eyes are unfocused and all he can do is take what Suguru gives him. 

Suguru fucks him like an animal. Satoru digs his nails into his back, definitely drawing blood. But it’s so, so worth it.

“Wanna - come - please - .“ Satoru is barely coherent, face full of tears, clinging to Suguru like he’s his life line.

Suguru slows down again, barely grazes Satoru’s prostate. He’s practically broken Satoru by now.

“You want to come on my cock?”

“Please. Please.“ 

He decides to be nice about it — doesn’t need to make Satoru beg anymore. That can come another day, hopefully. But right now he snaps his hips forward, driving into Satoru’s body. Their teeth clink together when he leans back down to kiss him, sucking on his tongue like it’s the air he needs to breathe. He’s teeming on the edge of his own orgasm so at the last second he flips them over, forcing Satoru to straddle his hips, legs spread and speared onto his cock. Satoru’s about to cry again, thinking he’s being denied again.

“Bounce, baby,” he says, and when Satoru immediately struggles on shaky legs, he snaps his hips up and gives Satoru exactly what he wants. Satoru doesn’t have any strength left and falls forward, allowing Suguru to use his body as he wants. But he wants to see when Satoru comes so he slows his thrusts. 

“Baby,” he murmurs. “Sit up, I wanna see your face when you come.”

On shaky arms, Satoru manages to push himself up, his breathing laboured as Suguru grinds his cock inside of him. Once he’s propped up his hands on Suguru’s pecs, Suguru doesn’t hold back and begins thrusting his hips up, angling them so his cock hits Satoru’s prostate. He’s completely out of it, moaning and crying, unable to even properly beg, and one hard thrust at his prostate is all it takes to completely undo him. His hole squeezes around Suguru’s cock so tightly it’s practically torture, the muscles clenching around his hard length, tight like a vice. His legs and abs tense up and spurts of white liquid spill from him, all over both his and Suguru’s stomach.

“O-Oh my f-fucking god,” Satoru cries, his face scrunched up in pure pleasure, his body trembling as he rides out his orgasm. His abs tense up as he continues moaning Suguru’s name and his name has never sounded so good falling from someone’s mouth. 

The friction when he thrusts up into Satoru is so fucking good, his body practically massaging Suguru’s cock. He bounces Satoru on top of him, Satoru way, way too overwhelmed to protest, until he finds his own release, spilling into Satoru.

He’s panting by the end of it and he leans up to press his lips against Satoru before pulling him in deeper, swapping their positions again so he’s on top and kissing Satoru all over, his jaw, his cheeks that are dampened by tears, his neck.

It’s only after Satoru’s breathing has evened out that Suguru pulls his softened cock out of Satoru. 

“You okay?” A nod. “Okay. Stay here for a second.” He gets up to grab a wash cloth so he can clean Satoru up a bit. Satoru is unsurprisingly docile, letting him do so without complaint, moving his body as Suguru nudges him around.

Once done, he sits Satoru on his bougie little chaise lounge so he can change the sheets. He’d made fun of Satoru for buying it at the time, but now he definitely can see the use for it, and when he’s done he pulls Satoru back into bed with him. They're still naked. Still pretty sweaty. It's intimate as fuck and Satoru snuggles into his chest, nuzzling into him like an overgrown cat. Suguru could get used to this. 

If only. 

"That was nice," Satoru murmurs, eyes closed, sounding almost too casual.

"Nice, okay," Suguru snorts. That was fucking mind blowing, actually. "Told you, baby. No need to be ashamed. You can ask for what makes you feel good."

Satoru hums an agreement. Then, "Why do you keep calling me that?"

"What?"

"Sweetheart. Baby."

Suguru freezes. "Uh, habit."

"Habit," Satoru deadpans.

"Habit," Suguru repeats.

"Like, calling me baby is a habit, or just the people you sleep with?"

"Why would I call the people I sleep with — " Suguru cuts himself off. Frowns. Satoru is drawing little circles on his chest and it's kind of distracting.

"Can I tell you a secret?" Satoru asks. 

"Always."

"The reason I tried fingering myself for the first time? It’s because the guy I'm in love with tops, exclusively." 

Suguru's blood runs cold. Satoru's...in love with someone. Someone that most likely isn’t him. And he’s so in love that he tried something he was completely ashamed of. So ashamed he actively tried to hide it from Suguru. Nausea washes over Suguru at the reminder that this was a one time thing, most likely — just a favour he was doing for Satoru. Preparing him for other people. When he swallows, a lump goes down his throat and sinks to his stomach like a rock.

Unaware of Suguru’s inner turmoil, Satoru continues. "I think he loves me too, actually," and sighs a little dreamily. He folds his arms on Suguru’s chest, resting his head on top and looking up at Suguru with a soft smile.

"Oh," is all Suguru can say. "Congrats," and he tries to make himself sound genuine. Really, he does. But even he could recognise the bitter undertone. He shouldn’t have done this. 

Fuck, what the hell did he just do? 

His heart is racing and he feels like his stomach is gonna fall out of his ass. Satoru's in love with someone and fuck, he just took Satoru's virginity, and now he feels kind of bad because if that guy loves Satoru back then maybe he should've been the one? Satoru isn't ruined and he'll be damned if he thinks that and also he's kind of happy he's the one who took Satoru's virginity because uh, yeah. He got to see him completely blissed out, all because of him, and —

Fuck what is he doing? He moves to get out of bed, throwing the covers back and suddenly acutely aware that he’s butt ass naked in front of his best friend. He jolts out of bed, throwing Satoru off his chest in the process who yelps and gets off the bed.

“I’m really happy for you ‘Toru, but maybe we shouldn’t have done this,” he says, frantically looking for his shirt somewhere in the pile of clothes on the floor, picking up a stray shirt before throwing it back down again when he recognises it isn’t his. The nausea grows in the pits of his stomach, and he’s trying to regulate his breathing so he doesn’t fully break down in front of Satoru. God, what was he thinking?

Why did he think he would’ve been able to get through this unharmed? He’s such a fucking idiot. 

“What — “ Satoru starts, more alert than before. He props himself up on his elbow to look at Suguru, his brows creased and drawn together in confusion. 

“This was stupid. I’m so stupid,” he mutters to himself.

“Suguru —,” Satoru starts to protest.

“No, it’s okay ‘Toru. It’s not your fault, it’s mine,” he says as he slips his boxer briefs on. “Fuck, this was a mistake.”

What the hell did he expect? Of course Satoru’s not in love with him — he knew this and of course the other person loves Satoru back. How could anyone not? Satoru is literally the definition of perfect.

Anyone with eyes can see that. Anyone who actually knows him would realise that. With his gorgeous looks, his actual genius level intellect, those long legs and what Suguru now, inconveniently knows to be the prettiest, tightest hole, anyone would have to be completely stupid to think otherwise. 

And he’s kind. People wouldn’t immediately associate the work kind with Satoru when they first meet him but he is. He cares so much about the people important to him and he’s not afraid to show it either. When Suguru sunk into a deep depression during their first year of uni, Satoru was the one who was always there to help him. Always making sure he’d eaten and drank something each day. Always reminded Suguru that he was there for him and made sure the food he cooked was to Suguru’s liking even when everything tasted like cardboard. 

When Shoko started her internship and struggled to adjust to the hours, often forgetting to eat, Satoru often made bentos and dragged Suguru to the hospital during Shoko’s breaks to make sure she was fed and to take her mind off work temporarily. 

So yeah, Satoru is perfection in a bottle. 

He's sure there’s plenty of other people who’re in love with Satoru. It’s just — he didn’t think Satoru would love any of them back. Who was this mystery person that Satoru deemed special enough to love? What did they have that he didn’t? 

And before he knows it, he feels tears well up in his eyes that he roughly wipes away with his shirt as he slips it over his head. He briefly catches a glance in the direction of Bibimon’s cage and sees her sitting by the glass as always but she’s silent. When they make eye contact, her expression isn’t glaring for once. It’s a little — sympathetic? 

Great, now he’s being pitied by a hamster. 

He starts to look for his socks everywhere, hurriedly searching under Satoru’s clothes. He needs to get out, get away from Satoru so he can fully meltdown in peace about the once in a lifetime moment he just shared with Satoru that’s never going to happen again because Satoru is already in love with someone. Someone that obviously isn’t him. 

“A mistake? What — ,” Satoru says, brows now raised high towards his hair line as he stares at Suguru with a deeply hurt expression. It paints his face with something unnatural because a look like that should never appear on Gojo Satoru’s face. “Suguru, why’re you…saying all these things,” he says, almost pleading.

Suguru continues to mindlessly apologise as he rights his clothing. “I’m just gonna go, I’m so sorry again,” he says, bowing like an idiot. They’ve never once bowed to each other in their lives.

He pivots on his feet and starts to walk out of Satoru’s room with the speed of someone with hot coal under their bare soles but stops after a few steps when something like the feel of a balled up shirt is thrown at his back. 

“What the he —,” he starts, shocked.

“Geto Suguru, you did not just take my ass virginity and then plan to leave with no aftercare,” Satoru hisses, indignant with his nose turned in the air and a challenging look in his glacier, blue eyes.

Suguru swivels on the spot to face Satoru and merely gapes at him – struggles to find a retort. Fuck, he’s right. How could Suguru do that to him?

“Uh, yeah, yes -” he says when he’s broken out of his stupour. “Let me just -” he trips on Satoru’s clothes on the way to Satoru’s ensuite. “I’ll be right back.”

Focusing on making sure he can just get through this as painlessly as possible even though it feels like his heart is splitting in two, he runs a bath and pours in all of Satoru’s absurdly expensive oils and bubble baths. He runs through his checklist of aftercare - cuddles, water, maybe a snack - fuck, he didn’t get water. His mind runs on autopilot as he frantically dashes into the kitchen, telling Satoru he’ll be right back again so he can grab a glass. 

He searches for a small snack, too, and in his panic forgets where Satoru keeps everything, opening and closing all his pantry doors.

“Suguru, that bath has been running for a while,” Satoru calls. “It better not be overflowing.”

Shit, yeah, he’s already forgotten about it. It’s definitely overflowing and he trips over his own feet, running back to turn off the tap. There’s water everywhere and he fruitlessly tries to mop it all up with the fluffy towels in Satoru’s bathroom. He’ll need to get more of them.

Suguru decides to forgo food until later and he’s flushed and sweaty by the time he returns to Satoru with water. He presses the glass into Satoru’s hands and Satoru looks up at him like he can’t tell if he wants to laugh or be mad.

“Sorry,” Suguru murmurs, ashamed. 

He’s such a fucking asshole, convincing Satoru to lose his virginity to him because he cares about Satoru and then running away because shit got real. He doesn’t know what he was thinking. Of course there’s someone else Satoru’s in love with, and that person loves him too? He should’ve been the one to do this for Satoru, as much as it kills him to admit it.

It would’ve made Satoru happier, he knows. And the only thing he wants is for Satoru to be happy.

He just wishes he could be the one to do it.

He doesn’t say anything as he helps Satoru into the bath. Satoru drags him down with him so Suguru lies against the back of it and Satoru settles himself between Suguru’s legs. It’s intimate and domestic and it makes Suguru’s heart ache. This might be the first and only time he gets to be with Satoru like this, with Satoru no doubt moving on to pursue the guy he loves now that he’s had some experience. He feels like he’s going to be sick. 

Who is this guy anyway? Suguru knows everyone in Satoru’s life and he can’t think of a single person it could be. Unless it’s someone from the physics department — one of Satoru’s fellow researchers which would make so much sense. Of course Satoru would be in love with someone as brilliant as him. Who can match him one to one with knowledge in the field he’s so passionate about.

Suguru tries but any time Satoru tries to explain a concept to him, it flies right over his head. He can’t help it, he’s part of the social sciences for a reason. 

It’s quiet as they settle into the warmth of the water, Satoru drawing circles on the surface of the water while humming absent mindedly. Fuck he’s so goddamn cute. Suguru has his arms wrapped around Satoru’s waist and the moment is entirely too perfect to be real. He tries to soak it up as much as he can before this moment will inevitably pass and Suguru is relegated to the best friend once again.

Satoru lets out a contented sigh and leans his head back on Suguru’s shoulder, eyes closed. He has the smallest smile on his face and Suguru is enamoured with it. The slight upward curl of Satoru’s petal pink lips, the serene expression on his face. Suguru could stay in this position forever. 

He’s broken out of the moment when Satoru says, “The guy I love would be a terrible parent to Bibimon.”

Suguru snorts and tries not to let the ache in his chest run rampant enough to make it show. He runs his hand through Satoru’s hair, who lets out another happy sigh. 

“That hamster would be a terrible child,” Suguru responds. “Good luck to the guy you’re in love with,” he tacks on casually, speaking through the lump in his throat, sucking in a quiet breath after the words leave his mouth. 

He hates that hamster but he’d honestly give anything to be that hamster’s official parent if it meant he got to have Satoru like this every day. God, what is his life? He’s mourning his parental status over a fucking hamster and has to hold himself back from facepalming. When did he become so pathetic? Maybe he’s always been pathetic but it’s only becoming apparent now. Of course, Satoru would be the one to bring this realisation to light. 

At least it saves him from becoming actual family with Yuta. The idea makes him shudder.

Suguru’s brought out of his thoughts when Satoru finally moves out of his arms, and twists his body around so that he’s straddling Suguru, knees bracketing Suguru’s thighs. Their softened cocks brush against each other, and Suguru jolts at the contact. Satoru snorts as he brings his arms around Suguru’s neck, burying his hands in Suguru’s hair, scratching at his nape lightly. 

When Suguru looks up at Satoru, he’s met with an amused expression on Satoru’s face. His lips curve upwards and there’s a twinkle in his ocean blue eyes as he stares down at Suguru. It’s taking everything within Suguru to not lean forward and press a kiss against Satoru’s lips, especially now that he knows they’re as soft as they look. Satoru’s amused expression doesn’t go away and they continue to stare into each other’s eyes for a few moments longer. 

“What?” Suguru asks, quirking a brow. 

Satoru continues to stare at him, tilting his head to the side, the corner of his eyes crinkling as his face splits into a warm grin. He pokes Suguru in the middle of his forehead. "You're stupid."

“Huh? Where’d that come from?” Suguru asks, eyebrows flying up as he wonders what he said or did to warrant that comment. "Also, I just gave you a mind blowing orgasm and you're going to insult me?"  

Satoru continues scratching at the nape of his neck lightly as he looks at Suguru, his expression slowly morphing into exasperation. Seriously, what did Suguru do?

“Who said it was mind-blowing?” Satoru retorts, and before Suguru can challenge that, Satoru changes his whole world. “You’re the person I'm in love with, asshole."

Suguru’s mind blanks.

"Oh."

Huh. Well that’s a plot twist. 

“No you’re not.” he immediately replies. He doesn’t even know why. Satoru deserves so much better than him — it’s probably the endorphins from sex and the mind blowing orgasm.

“Suguru, are you serious? No I’m not? You’re such an asshole.” he splashes water on Suguru, who splashes him back, and for a moment they’re sitting in a bathtub, splashing each other like little kids. 

“I love you dumbass. And I’m questioning why just as much as you are.” 

“Pinch me?” Suguru says blankly, his mind struggling to process that reveal. 

“What?” Satoru asks, incredulous. 

“Just — just pinch me,” he repeats, reaching behind his head and grabbing Satoru’s hand to rest against his hip.

As instructed, Satoru pinches his hip and he yelps. Okay, not a dream. He looks back up at Satoru who’s now staring at him with eyes ablaze, the blue so bright it’s almost blinding. His mind is still rebooting itself while he stares at Satoru’s face, watching his expression shift to irritation, a scowl painting his beautiful face. 

“Are you gonna say anything?” Satoru asks, crossing his arms over his chest with a frown, looking entirely too much like a grumpy wet kitten. 

"I love you too?"

Satoru rolls his eyes and makes a tsk sound. "Can you make it sound less like you're questioning yourself? Geez."

“Wait, just — can we get out of the tub?” Suguru says, tapping Satoru’s waist. The water is lukewarm by now and he needs to – fuck, he just needs to not be naked in a bath with Satoru right now. 

“What?!” Satoru cries, but goes to stand anyway, and Suguru watches droplets of water slide down Satoru’s torso. 

“I just — let’s just get dry first.”

Satoru turns around and steps out of the tub, mumbling under his breath as he grabs two towels, throwing one over to Suguru. Suguru dries himself quickly, runs a nervous hand through his hair as he stares at Satoru, who’s frowning deeply, shoulders tense and hunched up towards his ears. 

When he wraps the towel around his waist, Satoru turns towards Suguru, his body rigid and expression a little pained. 

“Look, maybe I read it all wrong. We can just forget about what I said,” Satoru forces out, looking a little ill as he speaks and fuck, Suguru is fucking this all up.

“No!” Suguru yells, startling Satoru who flinches at the volume of Suguru’s voice. Suguru immediately steps into Satoru’s space and grabs a hand. “No, you definitely didn’t read anything wrong,” he assures, and watches Satoru narrow his eyes, presumably searching for hints of a lie.

Suguru laces their hand together and leads Satoru out of the bathroom and into Satoru’s bedroom, seating them both down on the edge of Satoru’s bed

“So, you’re in love with me?” Suguru asks, still a little in shock and not entirely convinced this isn’t just a dream. 

Satoru huffs a breath and flushes a little pink. “That’s what I said, asshole,” still scowling. “Are you gonna say it back, properly?”

Suguru grins, brings the hand he’s holding to his lips as he presses a kiss to each knuckle. He chuckles when he’s done, and looks at Satoru’s face who’s still resembling a disgruntled kitten. Suguru can’t help the warmth that unfurls within his chest as he stares at Satoru’s irritated expression.

“I definitely love you," Suguru says, grinning from ear to ear. He watches as the tension bleeds from Satoru’s body, his shoulders slumping down and the crease between his brow disappearing from his face. With his free hand, he shoves at Suguru’s shoulder.

“Don’t scare me like that. You’re such an asshole!” he huffs.

Suguru can’t help it — he throws his head back and lets out a loud laugh. “I’m sorry, baby. I was just shocked.”

He’s still a little shocked, still in disbelief, but the relief is palpable. He can’t believe it, Satoru loves him. Satoru loves him! Suguru tackles Satoru, forcing Satoru on his back who lets out a high-pitched squeak. He braces his forearms on either side of Satoru’s head and starts peppering kisses all over Satoru’s face, who starts squealing. 

"Fuck, I thought you knew how I felt and didn't tell me about liking guys because you didn't know how to turn me down."

"Holy shit you’re stupid. I told you! I didn't want you thinking I'm weak."

"People who are weak don't last getting edged like that. That's a testament to how strong you really are. Besides, I told you. I already think you’re weak," he says with a cackle.

Satoru smacks his shoulder. “You’re such an asshole,” he bites out, with no real heat behind his words. “How was I supposed to know that? Also, that was exhausting. I want food. And water. Go get me something."

Suguru laughs. "Only if you promise to be my boyfriend."

"What else would I be? You're not walking away from here single. You're my boyfriend. Now go get me the mochi from the fridge." 

Suguru laughs and gets up. “Okay, I’ll be back,” he says, giving Satoru a sloppy kiss on the cheek.

As he walks out of Satoru’s bedroom, he hears Satoru get up off the bed, then — “Did you hear that, Bibimon? He loves me too!” A pause as the sound of Satoru opening Bibimon’s metal cage fills the apartment. He hears squeaking a moment later and sighs to himself because he knows Satoru’s bringing that damn hamster over to him.

Just as he predicted, Satoru is padding over to him with the stupid hamster in his hands. Suguru swears the hamster is glaring at him, cold and unforgiving, plotting Suguru’s demise for forcing her to watch as he ruined her dad’s ass.

It’s not his fault she didn’t look away.

He’s digging around the fridge for the last of the mochi that he swears is in there — god Satoru probably ate it and forgot. 

Undeterred, Suguru heads out to the pantry for ingredients he knows Satoru always has on hand, pulling out the flour, sugar, and syrup. He can practically feel Satoru’s eyes following the syrup.

“Whatcha making?” Satoru asks once Suguru’s done his set up, coming around the table. He wraps his arms around Suguru’s waist, hooking a chin over his shoulder. “Where’s my mochi?”

“Don’t worry about it.” Suguru replies, heating up the stove.

It doesn’t take him too long, and soon he’s setting down a plate of pancakes in front of Satoru, his goddamn hamster standing on the table. He’s going to lecture Satoru about how unhygienic it is to keep a literal rodent by their food, except Satoru immediately pulls him out of his thoughts.

“Oooh crepes!”

“What? No, they're pancakes.”

Satoru prods at the top of his stack. “Look at them, man, they’re thin as fuck. Not fluffy in the slightest. They’re crepes.”

“Satoru, baby, I just had my dick inside of you. Please don’t call me ‘man.’”

“Right, whatever you want, dude.” 

Suguru’s about to murder him. Satoru, intentionally oblivious, continues talking.

“Like, you’ve made amazing pancakes before and they didn’t look like this. They’re crepes.”

Suguru isn’t sure which of these he wants to acknowledge first, so he picks up his fork and knife, intent on shovelling food in his face to prevent them from further arguing.

He can’t, though, because when he looks down the goddamn hamster is pulling at one of his not-crepes, tugging it closer to Satoru.

“Satoru,”

She squeaks. Until now, Suguru didn’t even know hamsters made this much noise.

“She’s hungry! Here my baby.” Satoru coos, cutting up little pieces for her.

“Oh, so the hamster gets ‘baby’?”

“The hamster has a name. And yes she does because she didn’t make me crepes and call them pancakes in an attempt to distract me from the fact that you ate my mochi. That’s so rude, dude.”

“I did not -  that’s because they’re pan - do not call me - Satoru.”

“Why would I call you Satoru? That’s my name.” Suguru glares. Satoru grins. “Maybe next time you won’t leave me naked in bed, yeah? Come on, Suguru, you’re supposed to be smarter than that.” 

Suguru blows his bangs out of his face. Being in love with Satoru Gojo is the worst thing that’s ever happened to him. “How are you feeling? Sore at all?”

At that, a blush rises to Satoru’s cheeks. He looks so cute and so good all flushed like that, the blood in Suguru immediately starts flooding somewhere else. Holy fuck, he’s a pervert.

“I’m, uh,” sore as fuck. He’s barely sitting on the chair, just the edge of his ass hanging off, and Suguru didn’t notice because he’d been too distracted by the - well, everything. Fuck he loves Satoru so much. 

He looks down at his plate, a quarter of his pancake torn off by Bibimon who’s now sitting like a fat lump on the table, two tiny paws holding her prize and nibbling on it ferociously.

Satoru coos, and while he does so, a very familiar ping comes from his phone. 

They both freeze. 

“Satoru, was that a Grindr notification.”

Satoru cackles. “Yeah it was. Let’s see who it was.”

Satoru slides open his phone and once he sees who matched him, he cackles even hard and goes, “No way,” and slides his phone. 

“Is that Yuuji’s uncle?” Suguru says as he picks up the phone to inspect it further.

“Yeah, it’s Sukuna. That’s so fucking funny. I didn’t think he’d match with me. Thought he hated me, actually.”

“Are you kidding? Every time we’re over, he fucking — he’d fucking look at you with those eyes and — ,”

“Were you jealous, Suguru?”

“Of course I was jealous! I’ve been in love with you since freshman year,” and he clicks his mouth shut as he realises he hadn’t revealed that piece of information yet. 

“Awwwwww, Suguru,” Satoru says, standing up from his seat and sliding into Suguru’s lap. His hands automatically grip Satoru’s tiny waist, looking up at Satoru with his cheeks flushed.

“Don’t tease.”

“Oh but it’s so cute. How could I not? Just picturing country bumpkin Suguru crushing on me,” he says grinning like a maniac with a roll of his hips.

His grip around Satoru’s waist tightens and he feels himself harden beneath Satoru’s ass. 

“Satoru,” he warns. 

Satoru continues rolling his hips slowly and like the absolute brat he is, widens his eyes so they’re impossibly big and doe eyed, his eyebrows downturned and pouts. “But whyyyyyy.”

“Because you’re still sore and your hamster is literally terrorising my pancakes.”

They look behind them and Bibimon has taken to Suguru’s plate and pulling yet another piece off with her tiny paws without a care in the world. 

“Also,” he starts, and twists his body to reach for Satoru’s phone. “You’re deleting this app.”

“Well, obviously,”

“Good.”

“You are too, though,” Satoru says, poking his chest.

“Already done, baby.” 

“I like it when you call me that,” Satoru says, a little timidly, a pretty pink hue painting his cheeks. 

“What, baby?” Suguru asks, feeling a little smug. 

“Yeah…”

God he’s so fucking cute. He makes sure to tell him that, causing the pretty flush on Satoru’s face to deepen. 

“Well, baby,” Suguru emphasizes. “Maybe if you’re good and put your hamster away, I’ll give you a different treat.”

The fuckass hamster squeaks, pulling Satoru’s attention. The adorable, heated look all but disappears when he looks over. Suguru’s pancakes have been completely demolished and maybe if Suguru’s lucky all that overeating will cause his hamster to bloat up and explode or something. 

Well, he’s not that mean. Hopefully not because Satoru would be sad but also, like. Maybe he could secretly replace her with a hamster that looks the same but is infinitely more likeable. 

Shame he can’t do that with Yuta.

“Wait can we fuck with Sukuna first?” Satoru says, reaching over to let Bibimon climb into his hand. He brings her over, cradling her between him and Suguru. Suguru tries to tilt his body as far away from her as possible, but it’s difficult when the back of the chair is confining his movements. 

“No. I’m at least 90% certain he’s part of the yakuza and I don’t want to deal with that.” 

“Ugh, so lame.” Satoru pouts. 

Suguru rolls his eyes and snatches the phone from Satoru’s hand. He knows Satoru won’t struggle with Bibimon between them, so he tells Satoru to say goodbye, and deletes the account. 

Satoru sighs wistfully and waves — did he just wave like Anne Hathaway in the Princess Diaries? Suguru can’t believe his life.

Of course, it’s only seconds later that reality sets in, and Satoru starts whining. “You didn’t even let me bait Sukuna into sending a dick pic! We could've, like, blackmailed him.”

“Did you want to see his dick?”

“Well, no, but it’d be funny.” 

“To who?”

“Me.”

Suguru places his thumb on his forehead.

“Wow, even getting laid doesn’t relax you.” 

Alright, Suguru’s had enough. 

“Satoru,” Suguru growls, voice taking on a dark tone. “Put the hamster away. Clothes off. Get on your hands and knees on the bed.”

“Wait, now?”

“You want to act like a brat, you’ll be treated like a brat. Go. I’ll join you after I clean up.”

Satoru literally scrambles away, moving faster than Suguru’s ever seen him and clutching his goddamn hamster in his hands. With any luck Satoru will actually put the hamster away, but knowing him he’ll try to find some loophole just to piss Suguru off. 

Ah, well, at least Satoru doesn’t seem nervous or ashamed anymore. Who knew Grindr could lead to the love of his life?