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Alex sat outside the Williams’ hospitality, basking in the warm Italian air. A coffee sat untouched on the table in front of him. Instead, he was scrolling aimless through Instagram reels. He had just scrolled to another video of his and the other 2019 rookies’ shenanigans during the lockdown (featuring Charles) when his scroll was interrupted, annoyingly, by a message from Lando.
Alex opened up the text and frowned at the link. Over the years, he had learnt better than to open up random links from the McLaren driver. Too often had he clicked on one in public only to be met with an egregious looking porn clip. Though, on the other hand, ever since the McLaren drivers had gotten their shit together, Lando’s messages to their group had become less and less outrageous as he became more and more domestic (because apparently Oscar Jack Piastri was a fucking miracle worker).
So, against all better judgement, he opens the link. It was an official F1 Twitter post. Weird, Alex thought, why would Lando send him an official post.
‘Cadillac F1 Team Is Proud To Announce Logan Sargeant and Checo Perez as drivers for the 2026 Season’.
Oh.
That would be why.
Alex’s phone slipped from his fingers, clattering on the table and almost knocking over his untouched coffee. Logan. Alex hadn’t seen the American since his last race in Zandvoort. The following week, Williams had dropped him unceremoniously, replacing him with rookie Colapinto (funny how the Argentinian was always at the scene of the crime, especially following Alpine’s drama this year).
Now, Franco was nice, he was fun, and Alex enjoyed his company, even if he was only a temporary replacement until the end of the 2024 season. Carlos was a good teammate too and Alex was happy with him, but neither of them were Logan.
Alex would never admit out loud his crush on the younger driver. That, unfortunately, did not stop Lando and George from figuring it out. They had teased him relentlessly about it, but they were also always supportive. Even if Alex had to choose an American (Lando said he was betraying his British heritage. Alex had kicked him). Lando had even offered to use his connection to Logan through Oscar to discover the American’s feelings as well. Alex had refused. He didn’t want to pressure the younger driver into anything. He knew how impressionable and vulnerable rookies were, especially when they were struggling in a team that didn’t seem to care about them.
Besides, look at him. There was no way a man built like that was gay. Logan was everything Alex had assumed an American would be. He was excitable, patriotic and cared way too much about his appearance. But at the same time, he was gentle, shy, and sweet and Alex was oh so weak.
So yeah, it didn’t take him long for him to fall for the American rookie. And Lando had the gall to make fun of him while he too was crushing on his own rookie teammate. At least Alex managed to be normal about it. Lando, on the other hand, had made it his mission to practically glue himself to the Australian at all times. He was rather lucky that Oscar was dumber than he looked when it came to love.
And Alex had squirreled away his feelings to not disturb the friendship he fostered with the surprisingly shy man. He played the role of mentor well, had guided Logan through the ins and outs of the sport, had comforted him when races didn’t go the way he wanted them too, even going as far to share secrets about his ordeal at Red Bull just to show he understood.
But what did that matter in the grand scheme of things? Alex had no control over the whims of the racing gods.
Really, he should have noticed. The first of the glaring warning flags back in Australia 2024 when Logan had been forced to give up his car because of Alex’s mistake. He had done so obediently, without so much as a whisper of complaint. The guilt ate Alex from the inside, doubly so when he didn’t so much as protest once.
And he couldn’t even manage to score a point off of Logan’s sacrifice.
The second warning flag was Carlos’ failure to sign a deal early with some of the top teams who had drivers out of contract or looking to be out of contract like Mercedes or even Red Bull. Alex just never really considered that the Spaniard who had enjoyed the likes of Ferrari would settle for a mid-field to back-marker team like Williams.
And even then, the contract would be for 2025, as Carlos wouldn’t lose his seat at the legendary team until the next season. It shouldn’t have affected Logan.
And Alex knew that the American was struggling. Despite his skill as a driver, challenging Oscar for the title in their F2 season together, he just never managed to adjust to the car. And James never truly gave him the opportunity to.
Alex had done his best to help him, going over strategy late at night in their hotel rooms together, racing each other in the sims, just the little things he could do. But it hadn’t been enough. Looking back, Alex didn’t think that anything would have been enough; James was dead set on dumping Logan since as early as the Australian Grand Prix, possibly even earlier.
And he had been stupid to let it catch him off-guard. But Alex believed that the team behind all the driver contracts and shit should have had the decency to at least tell him beforehand, rather than let him find out with everyone else. Hell, from what Alex had heard from Lando, who had heard from Oscar, who had presumably heard from Logan himself, the American found out only hours before the social media announcement.
It was a shitty move all the way round.
Alex had reached out to Logan as soon as he could, but phone call after phone call, text after text, all of them were left unanswered. It wasn’t until Oscar texted him to let him know that Logan was already back in the States did Alex finally get an update. And gods did that hurt. His teammate of 1 and a half years, a man that Alex had been head over heels for more than a solid three quarters of that time, hadn't even bothered to text Alex himself.
It hurt, so so much, but Logan had made it clear to Alex that he didn’t want to be contacted and Alex would respect that, no matter how much it pained him to keep that distance, to not reach out. Oscar had sent him updates from time to time, of how Logan was back with his friends and family in the US, of how he was basically acting as a WAG for some American Indycar driver (a boy wasn’t that a blow to Alex’s heart).
But it was nice to know that his ex-teammate was still alive and kicking and eventually, Alex began to move on. He still had his own racing to focus on. So he let the memories of Logan slowly float to the back of his mind as he grew all the more determined to prove himself as a driver. Williams seemed more competitive in the 2025 season and his performance at the Australian opener had boosted his confidence.
He could live off the little snippets of Logan’s life that he saw on Instagram and from Oscar.
And Alex had thought that was that. That Logan was done with F1. He had every right to be. The sport had treated him so poorly during the little time he was a part of it. And Alex would be able to wallow in his broken heart in peace. But no, there was never any peace in Formula One.
So Alex gritted his teeth, determined not to let this shake him.
-
Oscar joined his boyfriend at a table outside of the McLaren hospitality, raising an eyebrow at the Brit’s intensive stare out into the paddock.
‘What’s up with you mate?’ He asked jokingly, sliding a coffee over to Lando. His own drink was mostly just warm milk and some cinnamon, not really a coffee guy despite Melbourne’s reputation. Lando continued to glower, waving his hand at…Williams?
Oscar’s eyebrow disappeared into his hair.
‘Williams? What’s up with them?’ Oscar took a sip of his warm milk, still eyeing the older boy.
‘Alex. Alex is what’s up with Williams. I sent him the link to the newest F1 post and he hasn’t replied yet.’
‘Oh. The one about Logan?’
Lando’s head whirled around, almost alarmingly fast.
‘You knew?’ He demanded. The post had only been up for a matter of minutes, there was no way Oscar had already seen it when he was waiting in line for coffee.
‘Yeah. He told me like days ago, y’know, being best friends and all that.’ Oscar shrugged. Lando glared at the Australian. Oscar shrugged again, taking another sip. ‘You gonna drink that or am I wasting my time being a good boyfriend.’
Lando lifted the coffee cup to his lips, still glaring at Oscar. The Australian laughed, unbothered. Lando was always so dramatic, and Oscar was already used to it, telling anyone who asked that it was ‘part of his charm’. He was fairly sure that Charles had thrown up in his mouth when he had told his grid dad that.
‘Can’t believe you knew and didn’t bother to tell your poor, desperate boyfriend.’ Lando huffed.
‘Sorry, but Logan asked me to keep it a secret until the official announcement.’
‘Right. I could have kept it a secret with you.’
Oscar leveled Lando with a flat stare. They both knew that if he had told Lando, the rest of the grid would know after an hour.
‘So what does this have to do with Alex?’ Oscar inquired, moving on quickly before Lando got to him with his pout. Lando waved his hands.
‘How do you not know? Surely you know about Alex’s massive crush on Logan. Don’t understand it though. Can’t believe he picked an American of all people.’
‘Logan’s a good guy, Lan.’
‘Still American.’
‘And you’re British and yet I still like you.’ Oscar grinned. Lando gasped, offended.
‘Oh fuck you.’ Was all the Brit could come up with in response. Oscar winked at him, drinking more of his milk.
‘Later. Shouldn’t we be helping Alex? You’re the one who started this.’ Lando ran his hands through his hair, glaring at the Australian again. He downed the rest of his coffee in one swing and stood up.
‘Fine.’
Oscar abandoned his own drink and followed Lando over to the Williams’ hospitality, ignoring the strange looks from some of the employees also hanging out in the sun. Alex didn’t look up when they approached.
Lando grabbed a chair and sat down heavily opposite the Thai driver. Oscar hung back behind him.
‘Alex.’ He finally looked up. Oscar could see his phone gripped tightly in his hand. If he squinted his eyes just enough, he could see Alex’s finger hovering above a contact labeled ‘Logan <3’.
‘Lando.’ Oscar had never heard the older driver sound so…sad, before. Alex was always one of the most enthusiastic drivers on the grid, constantly making jokes with others. He rarely ever let even a poor race result get him down for too long. Oscar had always admired his resilience.
‘What’s got you so upset about Logan?’ Lando asked gently. Oscar was alarmed to see tears well up in Alex’s eyes at the question.
‘He didn’t even text me.’ The Thai driver’s voice was barely audible. ‘He hasn’t texted me since he left. Why didn’t he want to tell me?’
Oscar bit his lip. He sort of had an answer for Alex, though he wasn’t sure it was appropriate for this situation. Nor was it his answer to tell. Lando looked up at Oscar, looking for help. Logan was his friend after all, not Lando’s.
But Oscar didn’t know what to say either. What could he say? Could he break Logan’s trust and share the long nights spent in each other’s hotel rooms whispering about crushes on teammates? Could he show Alex the dozens of texts Logan had sent him demanding updates on Alex? Could he tell them that they were both useless idiots who were both pathetically in love with each other?
He knew that Logan assumed that Alex was straight after he tried and failed to get the older driver’s attention and that, through Lando, Alex assumed the same about the American. At least Oscar had the presence of mind to recognise that Lando wasn’t as straight as was assumed.
‘What if he hates me?’ Alex’s voice was nothing more than a whisper. Oscar glanced around to make sure that no one was watching them before slipping into the seat between Alex and Lando.
‘He doesn’t hate you Alex.’ Oscar assured, hesitantly reaching out to lay his hand over the older man’s. Logan wouldn’t be so concerned about Alex if he was angry at the man. ‘Trust me, he does not hate you. He was upset when Williams dropped him and I think that’s understandable, but that wasn’t directed at you.’
‘He just wanted to separate himself from F1. It wasn’t a great experience for him and I’m sure that eventually, he’ll talk to you again. You just gotta give him time.’
Alex nodded at Oscar’s words. Lando looked at him gratefully.
A commotion further down the paddock and the sudden shouts of reporters drew their attention and the topic of Logan was abandoned.
-
Oscar lay in bed in his hotel room, phone in hand. Lando was in the shower and Oscar could hear him singing faintly through the walls. His phone was open to his contact list. Oscar clicked on Logan’s contact.
Loges (🦅🦅🦅)
Caramello Koala
hey mate
u up?
Loges (🦅🦅🦅)
yea
why?
Caramello Koala
why haven’t you texted albon yet?
Loges (🦅🦅🦅)
he doesn’t wanna hear from me
Caramello Koala
you sure about that mate
Loges (🦅🦅🦅)
yes
why would he want to hear from me
Caramello Koala
idk maybe cause you were his teammate?
dude
Loges (🦅🦅🦅)
i was a shit teammate
Caramello Koala
is that what he said to you
Loges (🦅🦅🦅)
no
Caramello Koala
text him
or i will screenshot all our messages and send them to him
Loges (🦅🦅🦅)
you wouldn’t
Caramello Koala
try me
i’m sick of your pining
can’t believe lando and i got our shit together before you
Loges (🦅🦅🦅)
you only got your shit together this year
Caramello Koala
and you still haven’t
so what does that say about you
Loges (🦅🦅🦅)
fuck u
Caramello Koala
no thanks
im sure alex would be willing tho
Loges (🦅🦅🦅)
OSCAR
Caramello Koala
just saying
Oscar felt the mattress beside him dip as Lando settled down beside him. A hand stretched across his stomach, drawing him against the other man’s warm body. He allowed Lando to manhandle him onto his side so they could cuddle properly. The Brit buried his face in Oscar’s neck and sighed dramatically.
‘Who ‘you texting Osc?’ He asked, voice muffled from where it was pressed against Oscar. Oscar raised his phone so Lando could see.
‘Trying to get Logan to message Alex.’
‘Going well?’
‘It’s Logan.’
‘I’ll take that as a no then.’ Lando huffed a laugh, warm breath tickling Oscar’s neck, causing him to shiver. ‘Tell him I called him a coward.’
Loges (🦅🦅🦅)
Caramello Koala
lando called you a coward
Loges (🦅🦅🦅)
rude
what does he know
wait
how does he know
let me guess
hes in bed with you
actually no don’t answer that
Caramello Koala
😏😉
Loges (🦅🦅🦅)
ew
‘He says you’re being rude.’ Oscar informs his boyfriend.
‘Sucks to be him.’ Lando said like a petulant child. Oscar shook his head fondly and turned off his phone, throwing it blindly at the bedside table, trusting the QuadLock case to protect it. ‘Cuddle me.’
‘I am.’ Lando jabbed Oscar’s side. Oscar had three younger siblings, it would take a lot more than that to rile him up. Lando jabbed him again, and Oscar still did not react. Eventually, Lando gave up.
‘Meanie.’
‘You are such a child Lando.’
‘And what does that make you huh? If you love a child-’ Oscar promptly smothered Lando with a pillow.
Alex couldn’t sleep. His thoughts were swirling with images of Logan, accompanied with Oscar’s words. He’ll talk to you again, give him time. He isn’t angry at you. Alex wasn’t sure if he trusted the Australian. Oscar was not known to lie to protect people’s feelings, some may even go as far to say he was blunt to a fault, but Alex’s mind wasn’t the most rational or reasonable when it came to the American.
His phone lay unlocked beside him, open on his messages with Logan.
Logie Bear
Albono
Are you OK Logan?
Logie Bear
(seen)
Albono
I’m here if you want to talk
Logie Bear
(seen)
Albono
Logan, please talk to me
(delivered)
Alex had never used proper punctuation in texts in his life. The only person worse than him with it was Lando. Alex also never texted all that often. His friends liked to complain how it could take him days to reply to them if at all. George had figured out Alex’s crush on Logan after the American complained about him taking two hours to reply. (‘Two hours mate’ George had said. ‘You might as well propose. That’d be less obvious’)
Logan had stopped even opening his messages after a day or two. That had hurt the most. Alex didn’t mind him not replying to them, as long as he saw them, because at least that way, Logan was still acknowledging his existence. Like this, it was almost like Logan had completely forgotten he was still here.
Alex was close to falling asleep when his phone buzzed beside him. Sleepily, he grabbed his phone, turning down the brightness so he wasn’t blinded and then proceeded to drop the phone on his face.
Logie Bear
Logie Bear
Hey
Can we talk?
Alex swallowed harshly. It had been over a year since Logan had last texted him. The use of proper punctuation and capitalisation also threw him further into a loop. He scrambled to reply, not wanting to let this opportunity slip.
Albono
Hey
I’m always
What do you need
Of course
Alex held his breath, watching as the bubbles appeared and disappeared underneath Logan’s name.
Logie Bear
I assume you’ve seen the announcement by now
About Cadillac
Albono
Yeah I have
Congrats on the seat
Logie Bear
Thanks
I was going to tell you earlier
It’s just
Hard, I guess
Albono
Don’t worry Logan
I understand
Logie Bear
Sorry, this is just hard over text
Albono
Call?
Alex mentally kicked himself. Logan was only now reaching out after a year of radio silence and he didn’t want to scare him off. He jumped when his phone vibrated with an incoming video call. He didn’t hesitate to accept, reaching beside him to turn on the bedside lap.
Logan looked far better than the last time Alex had seen him. The American was practically glowing really, in what seemed to be the dying Florida sun. There was a small smile dancing on his lips.
‘Mate, what time is it for you?’ Was the first thing out of his mouth. Alex squinted at the clock next to the lamp.
‘Uh- Like 11:30.’ He said slowly, only now realising how late it was. Logan snorted.
‘Don’t you have qualifying tomorrow? You should be asleep.’ Logan scolded. Alex rolled his eyes.
‘Mate, you’re the one who messaged me. For all you know, maybe I was asleep.’ He shot back. Logan snorted. They both knew it was a lie. Too many nights they had spent together playing video games until it was far too late. Oscar had joined them sometimes, when Logan was still nervous around him during his rookie year and needed the presence of a friend.
All of this feels very familiar, achingly so. It reminded Alex of better nights, when they would call each other over summer break, swapping stories about their vacation. Alex would always tease him about just how American Logan was.
‘Alex.’ Logan said lowly. Alex couldn’t help but blush at the way the American said his name. He quickly sobered up though. They were here to have a serious conversation about whatever Logan wanted to talk about.
‘I’m sorry for not telling you before the official announcement. I should have.’
Alex shook his head.
‘Logan, you don’t have to. I know that Williams treated you poorly and I’m sorry for not protecting you more, and you don’t have to justify your actions to me.’ He rambled. Alex had spent days following Logan’s untimely departure from the team pouring over his actions and words and how he could have said things differently, could have helped Logan more.
‘It’s not your fault Williams dropped me Alex.’ Logan reassured, voice gentle. ‘I was underperforming, it’s understandable they didn’t want a driver who couldn’t keep it out of the walls.’
‘You still deserved a better treatment than what they gave you.’
‘Did you tell them to drop me right before a race weekend?’ Logan asked.
‘No! Of course not.’
‘Then don’t apologies Alex. It wasn’t your fault.’ Logan’s voice was so soft and caring and Alex didn’t deserve this.
‘Lo…’ The nickname slipped out involuntarily. Logan’s eyes softened through the screen.
‘Hey. If you’re going to apologise, you should at least let me apologise for ignoring you the past year. And for not telling you about the contract.’ Alex opened his mouth to object but Logan beat him to it. ‘Compromise then, neither of us apologies.’
‘Alright.’ Alex cedes gracefully, a small smile playing on his face. Logan’s breathy laugh filters through his phone’s speakers and Alex is suddenly hit with how much he misses the American driver, and how happy he is that he’s back on the grid next year.
‘Hey Logie,’
‘Hm?’
‘I’m happy that you’re coming back.’ Logan’s eyes crinkled as a smile spread slowly across his face.
‘Me too, Albono.’ Alex rolled his eyes at the nickname but did not object. It felt so good to be able to talk with Logan after a year of silence. Despite how late it was, he wasn’t going to let this end so soon. As the conversation lulled, he scrambled to find something else to talk about.
‘Soooo.’ A sly grin curled its way across Alex’s face. ‘I’m sure you heard all sorts of things from the other side of McLaren’s relationship drama.’ Logan groaned loudly over the phone.
‘Mate, Oscar would not shut up about Lando.’ He whined. ‘I know more about the size and shape of Lando’s abs than I could ever want or need.’ Alex snorted. He could emphasise with Logan on that point, having put up with Lando’s rants about how hot the Australian driver was. Knowing what he did about Oscar, Alex could only assume that he had it worse, with Lando’s tendency to go into way too much detail about things that should really stay in the bedroom.
‘Honestly, I’m surprised that Oscar was able to clock Lando as gay as quickly as he did.’ Logan continued, half laughing. ‘His gaydar is shit. He assumed I was straight for like half of the time that we were with Prema.’
Alex blinked twice.
‘You’re not?’
Now it was Logan’s turn to hesitate.
‘Mate, I flirted with you for like the first half of my rookie season. You never noticed so I just assumed you were straight.’ Logan explained slowly.
Alex was dead. He had to be, it was the only explanation. That, or he was so tired he had started dreaming with his eyes open. Because there was no way, absolutely no way that Logan liked him back.
‘Alex?’ Logan asked hesitantly, afraid. ‘I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.’
His cautious tone snapped Alex back to reality. Because yes, apparently this is real.
‘NO!’ Alex exclaimed. Logan looked shocked, his mouth clicking shut. ‘Wait, wait, wait, wait. What do you mean, you were flirting with me?’
‘I think I’ve been pretty clear about what it means.’ Logan huffed, somewhat guarded. He had accepted that Alex had never responded to his flirting because the older man was straight. ‘I was obsessed with you in my rookie season. Followed you around, always bugged you with questions. Mate, I never left you alone.’
‘Well yeah I noticed that,’ Alex’s brain felt like it was trying to solve a very difficult maths equation. ‘But I was the same with Max and Daniil in my rookie season. And I was definitely not flirting with them.’
‘Its fine Alex. I don’t need you to try and comfort me.’ Logan said gently.
‘No, that’s not what I’m saying.’ Alex frowned deeply, trying to piece the frantic thoughts in his head into a coherent sentence. Two years he had spent with Logan, uselessly pining after the other man whom he assumed was straight and all of a sudden everything he thought he knew was proven wrong. It was too late for such revelations.
‘So what are you saying Albono?’ Logan prodded,
‘I like you.’ Alex blurted. Then immediately slapped a hand over his wayward mouth. He hadn’t intended for it to come out that way. Through his phone screen, Logan looked shocked.
‘I didn’t mean that.’ He tried to fix the hole he had dug himself. ‘Wait, no. I did mean it. I do like you, like that, but I wanted to say it differently. I-‘
’Alex.’ Logan cut him off. The small smile was back and Alex’s heart skipped a beat at how handsome the American man was, bathed in the glow of a setting sun. ‘You like me.’
It wasn’t a question. Alex answered it anyway.
’Yes.’
’I’ll be at Austin with Cadillac for the race ,we could meet up during or after, somewhere quiet where we can hang out, just us.’ Logan’s voice took on a humorous tone as he added, ‘and when you’re not actively falling asleep.’
’Like a date.’ Alex said hopefully, fighting back a yawn.
’Yes like a date.’ Logan affirmed. ‘But you really need to sleep Albono. I will be watching your qualifying so you need to perform well.’
If Alex was any more awake he would find a retort of his own, but as his clock ticked over to 12:27, he was far too tired to come up with anything witty enough and he was forced to reluctantly agree .
‘You better cheer for me.’ He demanded sleepily.
’You know I will.’ Logan grinned, eyes softening as Alex settled in his hotel bed. ‘Goodnight, Albono.’
And if Alex’s dreams were filled with fantasies of his upcoming date with Logan, that was his business.
Georgie 🫖
Lexie 😻
jokes on you georgie
i got a date
<3
Georgie 🫖
alex
WHAT THE FUCK
Loges (🦅🦅🦅)
Loges (🦅🦅🦅)
so
i talked to him
Caramello Koala
and?
Loges (🦅🦅🦅)
we’re going on a date
Caramello Koala
fucking
FINALLY