Work Text:
Mikita glanced around the fabled shore of Mystoria Island with a wide smile on her face and her hand on her hip.
"You know—I always wanted to really get the chance to see Mystoria, Gem."
It was the place for pirates on the Grand Line. That lawless paradise where you could get nearly everything and anything. For a seasoned thief and assassin like her, it was paradise. Her fingers were already feeling itchy as she leaned towards her partner.
"Once we find our quarry we'll have to ask him to stick around a lil' longer so we can see the sights."
Mystoria was the kind of island Mikita had run away from her home island for, the kind of promise of adventure and riches that made her head spin just speculating about it. "I know you like that fancy gun of yours, Gem—but maybe they've invented somethin' even better and it's waiting for us here."
A slow smirk drew across her taciturn partner's face. "As long as what we came for is, I'll take the bonus."
With his elbows on his desk, Crocodile wound his fingers around the curve of his gleaming hook, and leaned forward toward the subordinate in front of him.
He didn't like the news.
"I'm not surprised Cobra sent bounty hunters," he drawled. "But you're telling me he sent my own former agents?"
"I'm just surprised they took the job at all, really—" Zala leaned on the desk with both hands, looking her captain in the eye with a sharp frown. "Mikita and Gem were always a little troublesome but they were never disloyal."
She shifted to sit on the desk instead, sighing as she pulled out her pipe. "but I suppose with bounty hunters it's the price that matters, hmmm?"
Crocodile pinched the bridge of his nose. "I didn't hire them because I trusted them, that's for sure. Nice to see they took the partnership and ran with it I guess."
Trust. That was a world that sat bitterly on Crocodile's tongue. He was still coming to terms with the idea of trusting anyone. After all, the base state of a human was the same as any creature, to act with self interest.
He hated that because so many of his Baroque Works agents had proved so loyal he'd had any thought in his mind that some of them weren't going to try to put a knife in him.
Zala packed her pipe with the sharp smelling drugs she often smoked, her hair tumbling around her face.
"I liked them well enough, admittedly. They were fun to work with at Rain Dinners—fun to guess what deaths tied back to them. And they do make a fetching pair—"
She trailed off and put the pipe to her lips. "Should Daz and I give them their severance package? Or are you planning on letting them come to you and our dear Miss Wednesday to give them the chance to back out?"
"Severance package. Hmm." He snorted and picked up a half smoked cigar from his ashtray, relighting it and putting it thoughtfully to his lips.
Six months ago he wouldn't have had to think about it. Six months ago, before the the Utopia plan had failed so spectacularly, he'd have cut them loose without a second thought.
Maybe he'd had a few screws knocked loose in Impel Down.
He blew a long breath of smoke out. "Let's see what happens when they come knocking."
Zala lit the packed end of her pipe, taking a long drag before she smiled, a ripple of spikes cascading down her shoulders in satisfaction.
"I gotta say, boss—loving this new magnanimous side of you. Let's see what happens. Maybe they'll surprise us."
It didn't take a lot of asking around before they had a good lead on where to find Sir Crocodile. After all, they knew how he operated. Eventually — after a little bit of shopping — they made their way to a rented complex a little past the coast toward the center of the island.
Mikita grinned as she spun her new umbrella around her arm, sauntering with her spoils—both legitimately and illegitimately gained. They weighed down the pack thrown over her shoulder as she hummed a little tune.
A few new weapons, like her trick umbrella, some jewels, some rare novels the World Government had decried as 'anti-government trash'. a new dress, some lemon themed earrings—and some weird little device she nicked off an antique's dealer's stall.
Yes, it was a very successful trip to the market. She glanced at Gem with a wink. "Ready for a big reunion, Gem? Think he's gonna shoot first or ask questions?"
Gem huffed a quiet laugh. "It's Crocodile. If we see him instead of somebody he's hired, it's because he wants to kill us personally."
"Scary," Mikita giggled into her hand as the umbrella came to a stop. "Lucky us, we're hard to kill. Now come on—the old man paid us to find Crocodile, didn't he?"
That brought another laugh out of her, her hand resting against the door. "Knock knock!"
The door creaked open, and a familiar face loomed behind it, tall and intimidating. Not the former Mr. Zero, but close.
The former Mr. 1, his dark muscular physique and stony face on full display as he looked down at them.
"Shoulda expected it'd be you," Mikita chirped as she wiggled her fingers "Mr. 1. Long time no see—mind letting me and 5 in for a spot of tea?"
Mr. 1 crossed his arms over his chest. "Sorry, my boss isn't running a public club any more. Members only."
Gem pulled his sunglasses down. "Is that so."
"And here I thought we were still on the guest list!" Mikita crossed her arms with a slight pout.
They were getting the cold treatment, it seemed.
Still, she smiled widely and leaned forward. "I'm sure he'll be happy knowing his number 5 guy and his Miss Valentine have come to say hello?"
Another voice came from inside the dark hideout.
"I haven't heard any explosions yet."
It was Sir Crocodile - Mr. Zero - his voice thick with same nameless dubious emotion.
"You think I'm the kind of guy to blast the door man?" Gem sniffed.
Mr. 1 did not look pleased to be called 'the door man'.
"He doesn't mean that Dazzy," Mikita cooed, her hands clasped together on her umbrella's handle, using it to prop herself up. "well—mostly. I've seen him blast doormen before, but a superior officer's another story."
She snickered to herself, before it broke into a full on laugh. "Come on, you're both as dour as the grave over here! Would it kill you to be a little happy?"
Mikita could never help herself from having a laugh. From her youth stealing to fund her escape from the plantation her mother owned, to her time at Baroque Works, she always found something to tickle her about most situations. Life was hard enough not to find the joy in the little things.
Something Crocodile hadn't learned last she knew.
The former Mr. Zero came into view finally, looming over his subordinate's shoulder with a grimly amused expression. His cheerless smile rolled over his face like his namesake, and smoke clouded his features from his cigar.
"Forgive me for not rolling out the red carpet. A little bird told me you already have a job lined up."
"Birds aren't exactly known for their nuanced conversation," Mikita spun her umbrella around her wrist with a hitch of her smile. "you know?"
So he'd already heard. She could only imagine exactly what he'd heard down the long line of transponder snail distortion—but it was safe to assume he knew about the job from Cobra. The very one that funded their whole dash to find their former boss to begin with.
"Nuanced conversation." Crocodile snorted smoke out of his nose. "So, now there's nuance to taking money to kill a man?"
"On occasion, yeah," Gem nodded.
Mikita nodded.
"Oh there's more nuance than you'd think, Sir Crocodile! I mean—I know you ran us like some kinda island gang writ large, even if we were always pirates, so I'll forgive you if you forgot why you hired me in the first place…"
She leaned forward, playfully tapping her finger against her cheek as her umbrella swayed back and forth. "I'm a damn good thief. One of the best outta the East Blue, if I do say so myself."
Daz stared down at her.
Crocodile stared down at her as well.
"Just what are you suggesting, Miss Valentine?"
Crocodile used the former alias with intent. Mikita and Gem were playing coy, but to what point or purpose? Simply to draw him out and put them in a better position for a brawl?
The blonde thief giggled again—that high giggle she used when gaming tips at Rain Dinners or crushing a man slowly to death under an ever increasing weight—and tossed her hair with a wave of her hand.
"Oh come on, Mr. 0! They said you were suspicious but geeze!"
She put her hand to her chest "I'm suggesting that I stole from the King of Alabasta. You know. Like the thief you paid for? I mean, sea travel isn't cheap, y'know."
Crocodile's eyebrows arched higher as he turned over what she was suggesting.
"Are you telling me you conned money out of Cobra in order to come and join up again?"
That was too good to be true. She was setting him up for a rug pull.
"I mean, you did kinda ditch us back at the hideout. We showed up and you were already gone, leaving us a bunch of pissed off marines on high alert—right Gem?"
Miss Valentine looked over her shoulder at her partner with a huff of breath. "We just had to be out on a bounty hunting job when the news came. And then it turned out you were heading towards the New World, too! So I got this plan—I heard Cobra was asking for someone to drag his darling daughter back home and catch the fearsome Sir Crocodile. He offered a hefty sum too, right up front like a rube!"
She laughed , having to brace herself on her umbrella like a cane again as she doubled over "and so me and Gem—we ride up and say we'll do it. We're established bounty hunters…but get this? I con him into paying us double the up front payment because he's getting 'the both of us' on the job!"
Crocodile snorted. But he caught Daz' eye. That kind of scheme, that cunning, was exactly what had earned Miss Valentine the high rank she'd enjoyed in Baroque Works. It was certainly what earned her tips— and more devious rewards— working in his casino's restaurant.
It was… not impossible.
But it was too good to be true.
Gem, Mr. 5, just nodded. "She's a real sweet talker."
"He paid you double. Up front. To come kill me. But you have no intention of doing so."
"Why the hell would I? What's he gonna do when I don't show up with your head? Cry about it? Send someone half as tough as me and Gem to take us down instead?" Miss Valentine snickered. "We're way out here, and he's way back there in his palace wondering how he got duped so easily!"
'Wondering how he got duped so easily', Crocodile reflected, was probably Cobra's base state.
Mikita shoved her hand towards Crocodile with a broad grin. "Besides. we came all this way, y'know. Just to rejoin your outfit. We've even got an offering, right Gem?"
She nudged towards her partner.
Gem nodded, and reached in his bag.
This was the moment that Crocodile dreaded. Even though he stayed calm outwardly, every hair on his body stood on end.
If there was going to be a moment of attack, this would be it.
The observation haki that Crocodile had been cultivating over the last months didn't warn him of any danger— but he didn't yet trust that either.
"Duh duh duh duhhhh~" Miss Valentine sang as she held out her hands towards Gem—as he pulled out a stack of berry instead of a gun, and a bundle of items.
Familiar items from his time around the Nefertari family palace during his visits there—a gold statue of an animal headed man—rather like the god Pell resembled,some ornate log poses, and what looked like some of the royal family jewels he'd once seen Vivi wear to a party nestled in private correspondence.
"Ta daaa—the remaining spoils, and some extra crap I nicked on my way out the door! So to speak. We actually broke in through the window of Miss Wednesday's bedroom and slipped through the palace from there."
Crocodile stared. Speechless. Geuinely speechless.
Daz looked at him, and he caught his eye.
And Crocodile started to laugh. He slapped the arch of the doorway with his hand.
Ever since Impel Down, he'd been coming up double sixes. How the hell he'd won again, even he didn't know. But maybe he was due for a good streak after everything he'd been through.
Well—it was good to see Crocodile laughing like that, wasn't it? Mikita couldn't stop herself from breaking out into a giggle with him, using her partner for support as she laughed away the tension that'd leaked into the air.
It was the funniest thing—he hadn't trusted them! Of course he hadn't—old Mr. Zero trusted absolutely nobody back in the day. But she couldn't fathom anyone really thinking she and Gem would just take a job from old man Cobra on good faith.
She swore, everyone forgot where she got her infamy. You kill a few people on orders and suddenly all people see is an assassin!
She snickered as she slapped Gem's back. "…I think maybe we're gonna survive this one, partner!"
"Looks like maybe." He put his arm around her shoulder and looked up. "Can we come in, then, boss?"
He took his cigar out and pointed it at them. "It's 'captain' now. That good with you?"
"It's about damn time we did some piracy," Mikita's smile bloomed wider behind her hand, propping herself against Gem with a nod. "You got it, captain. This mean we're rebranding?"
"No point in not being a pirate when the government already wants my ass," he sneered. He waved his hook. "Alright, Daz, let 'em in. And let's get a round of drinks going."
"Ohhh—" Mikita pumped her fist. "the good stuff I hope—we got to enjoy a couple drinks on Fishman Island after chasing you there, but the galley fare's been starting to weigh on me."
She grinned widely and offered her hand to Crocodile again to shake. "Glad to be back on board, Captain. You've got the world's greatest phantom thief on your side once again."
Captain Crocodile took her hand in his jeweled fingers, and his namesake smile was pleased one, unlike the grim fixture it had been before.
"Glad to have you two back."