Chapter Text
Buck loved floating to other stations when they needed him to. There was something about learning how other stations worked. He had been promoted to lieutenant six months ago. He wanted to move up to captain eventually, and floating to other stations was a good way to learn what it took to be a captain.
Strangely, station 122 had become one of his favorites to float to. Sal Deluca had come a long way since his days at the 118. He was a captain whom all the firefighters under his command trusted and relied on. It helped that Tommy was still good friends with Sal. They had gotten to know each other over after-shift drinks or breakfasts. He found himself laughing more than he expected at Sal. The man had a special brand of humor, but he knew to limit expressing it to outside the station. Sal never made that an issue, though. He remained professional while on the clock.
“Buckley!” Sal clapped him heartily on the back. “Drinks? I know Tommy is working tonight. You can’t say no.”
“It’ll be fun,” Lara sing-songed from over Sal’s shoulder. Her hair was damp and tossed up in a haphazard bun. She wiggled her eyebrows at him.
“Yes!” Beaux, the newest addition to the 122, added, “You know you want to have a couple of drinks.”
Buck laughed, “Alright, sounds good. Let me get changed and I’ll meet you over there.”
“The Usual Haunt,” Lara made sure Buck knew where they would be meeting.
“I’ll drive,” Sal offered. “I know it’s out of the way. On the way back through, I’ll drop you here to pick up your car.”
“Sounds like a plan,” Buck turned towards the locker room while Sal split off to head up the stairs to the Captain’s Office.
Buck tugged on his henley, then ran his hands through his curls. He hadn’t had a chance to get out much. Tommy had been picking up extra shifts. Bucky spent more time on the road when he floated. To be honest, Buck wasn’t sure the last time he and Tommy had gone out with each other. Usually, they’d get home and crash for the night, and then they’d head to work in the morning. That was if their schedules lined up.
“Buckley, hurry it up.” Sal’s voice echoed through the common space.
“Shut it, Sal,” Buck chirped as he jogged out of the locker room, patting his pockets to be sure he had his wallet. “I haven’t been out in a while. Wanted to at least put a little effort into it.”
“Tommy ain’t bringing you out?” Sal raised an eyebrow.
“He’s been picking up a lot of extra shifts,” Buck shrugged. “He’s been talking about wanting to update his garage setup.”
“Still doesn’t excuse not spending time with you,” Sal pointed out. He unlocked the car. Once they were buckled in and on the way, he finished the thought off, “ But I know how he gets about his car shit. Obsessive.”
“That is one way of putting it,” Buck chuckled. “Thanks for asking me to float today. I’ve learned a lot from you since I started checking out how other captains run their houses.”
“Eh,” Sal scoffed, “I ain’t anything special. I just tell it how it is.”
Buck shook his head, “Sometimes that’s what a crew needs.”
“You’ll find what works best for you, once you make captain,” Sal managed to find a spot right out front. He slipped a hand behind Buck’s headrest to parallel park. He caught Buck’s eye and winked, “You’ve got plenty of time.”
As they walked in, it was easy to find the raucous table that the 122 had commandeered. Buck made a quick stop at the bar and ordered a couple of pitchers of beer. Loud cheers went up when Lara spotted him making his way over. Buck grinned as he slipped into a seat next to Martie.
It was easy to get lost in their laughter and jokes. He was two beers in when he saw something that didn’t seem right. It couldn’t be. Could it? Buck knew the breadth of shoulders anywhere. He recognized the outfit, too. It was one Tommy liked to wear when he put extra effort into a date. Buck had to be imagining things.
No, he was definitely seeing what he thought he saw. Tommy. Tommy was all over another man. Tommy draped over another man, with his mouth latched onto this man’s neck. His arms wrapped around the man’s waist as Tommy tugged him against his front. A man who looked suspiciously like Eddie from behind. Buck let out a heavy breath. Thank fuck. It wasn’t Eddie.
Sal snapped his fingers in front of Buck’s face, “Buckley, you planning on answering any time soon?”
Buck’s eyes flicked over to Sal and then back to Tommy. He felt his face heat with embarrassment. Then it was like he couldn’t stop the tears from welling up and threatening to spill over. “No. I plan on watching that.”
Sal turned in his seat, “Watching wha… Oh, you have got to be fucking kidding me.”
“What is it?” Lara and Martie asked.
“Sal,” Buck gripped the table hard enough that his fingers ached. “I need you to tell me I’m not imagining that.”
Martie leaned in to whisper to Lara, “What’s happening?”
“My boyfriend is over there,” Buck pointed towards Tommy, who was now locking lips with his Eddie look-alike.
“Buck,” Sal choked out. His cheeks had grown red, and his hands shook. Sal was pissed. The only time Buck had ever seen Sal like this was when another captain stepped in to yell at Martie for a simple mistake at a scene.
“I need you,” Buck looked over at Lara and handed her a twenty, “To go to the bartender, buy them a drink, and get the bartender to say it’s from me.”
“Oh shit,” Martie’s eyes widened. “That’s really Tommy?”
“Brass balls,” Sal muttered, then grabbed the bill. He looked directly at Buck to be sure his words were taken seriously. “I’ll do it. This is it for me and him. We’re done.”
Buck watched as Sal stomped over to the bar. The bartender locked eyes with Buck and then looked over to Tommy. She smirked, then handed the bill back to Sal. She pulled the bar mats up and emptied them into two shot glasses. Then walked happily over to Tommy. Sal rested his elbow on the bar top and grinned as he watched everything unfold. Clearly, he didn’t care if Tommy spotted him.
Tommy tilted his head in confusion as to why someone would buy him a shot. It wasn’t until the bartender pointed directly towards Buck that his mouth dropped open in shock. He started to move towards the table, but Sal intercepted him.
“Yeah, that ain’t fucking happening.” Sal’s voice was loud. “You go over to whoever that is. If you try to talk to Buckley, you will regret it.”
“It isn’t what it looks like,” Tommy tried to explain.
“There’s no getting out of it, Tommy. You broke your boy's heart. I got to see it in real time. Fuck off.” Sal gave Tommy’s shoulder a rough shove. “Fucking up the best thing that ever happened to you.”
Buck stood up from the table, “Tell Sal I’m waiting out by his car. I don’t want to have anything to do with that.”
“I’m so sorry, Buck.” Lara grasped his arm. “I hate that this happened.”
“Me too, but you aren’t the one who’s been cheating on me,” Buck sighed. He squeezed Lara’s arm reassuringly. He darted through the crowd, his head ducked low and shoulders hunched in. He sucked in a deep breath when he made it to Sal’s car.
His mind raced. The thoughts wouldn’t stop coming. What if all the extra shifts Tommy had taken were excuses for him to meet up with this guy? What if there had been others? How many others? Fuck. He and Tommy hadn’t bothered with condoms for the past few months. They weren’t intimate often, but there were still times he wasn’t careful. He trusted Tommy in one of the most vulnerable ways you could with a partner. Buck trusted Tommy with his health. He needed to get tested.
Buck braced his hands on his knees. He needed to get his stuff from Tommy’s place. Buck let out a hoarse laugh. Why did this always happen to him? He gets left behind. He’s the fucking placeholder while his partner finds someone better. The worst part of tonight? He had genuinely believed that Tommy was his forever. They had talked about moving in together. Buck’s lease was almost up. He didn’t sign the papers that had been left on his mailbox to state his intention to renew his lease for another year. He didn’t know if he still had time to do that. Christ. He might have to find a new place to live.
He pressed the heels of his palms against his eyes. They burned with unshed tears. The urge to scream was steadily climbing up his throat. Buck was barely holding on. Sal needed to get out of here. If he didn’t, Buck was going to start walking. He needed to get away. He didn’t want to see Tommy. Or the man he had been with.
A hand gripped the back of Buck’s neck. He looked up to see Sal standing in front of him. “Come on, let’s get you out of here.”
The broken ‘thanks’ was a challenge to get out. Sal opened the door and nudged Buck into the car. He buckled up and stared up out of the moonroof. He couldn’t stop himself from crying this time. Sal reached out and held Buck’s shoulder. It was all he could manage while he drove them. It was a steady reassurance that Buck wasn’t in this moment alone. It was all he could offer.
“Where are we going?” Buck asked.
“To my place,” Sal answered. “I’m not letting you be alone tonight.”
“Thanks,” Buck choked out.
“Always,” Sal said.
Buck didn’t take in much of Sal’s place. He stepped out of the car and crumbled. He let out a scream. It felt like his heart was shattering into pieces; the pain was so intense. Screaming was the only way he could let it out. Sal tugged him to his feet and into the house. He shuffled Buck over to the couch.
“Was I not enough?” Buck asked.
“I’m cutting that line of thought off, right fucking now, Buckley,” Sal said firmly. “You are perfect the way you are. The fault here lies with that fuckwad. Not you.”
With his fingers tangled together and his eyes on the floor, Buck looked up when Sal sat on the coffee table in front of him. “I have to get tested.”
“I’ll bring you to the clinic tomorrow,” Sal said.
“I need my stuff from his place, too,” Buck wiped at the tears slipping down his cheeks.
“I’ll take care of that, too,” Sal said softly. “Might take a few days, but we’ll get your stuff. Just get me a list.”
“I just want my stand mixer. The rest I don’t care about,” Buck admitted. “It cost an arm and a leg.”
Sal chuckled, “If I can’t find it, I’ll buy you a new one.”
“Was I too much?” Buck choked out. “I know I can be sometimes. I talk a lot. I get overexcited about random things. I know I can be boring with some of the things I like. He could have said something if he wasn’t happy.”
Sal wrapped a hand around the back of Buck’s neck and made Buck look him in the eyes. “You aren’t too much. He’s the asshole here. Not you. You understand?”
Buck weakly nodded, “It hurts so much.”
“I know,” Sal whispered into the curls of Buck’s hair. “Let me grab you some clothes, then you can take a hot shower. Drain some of that mucus out of you so you can get decent sleep. The spare bed is like a cloud, and the sheets are clean.”
Buck let Sal guide him through the house and into the bathroom. He waited until Sal handed over a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. He turned the shower as hot as it could go and let the water scald his skin. He felt dirty. He was ashamed. He never thought he’d be cheated on. Yet, here he was. Not wanted, not good enough, and on his own. Again. That was the story of his life. As a kid. Then, when Maddie left. When Abby left. After the lawsuit. He was stuck in a cycle of horrible to good, then back to horribly alone.
Buck woke up to the smell of breakfast frying and Sal cussing his coffee machine. For a minute, he had forgotten why he was in Sal’s spare bedroom. For a brief moment, his chest didn’t ache. He stepped into the kitchen and watched Sal move around. He was thankful that out of everyone who had been with him to see Tommy out like that, it was Sal. He was automatically concerned with Buck. Sal made sure Buck was safe and comfortable.
Sal nearly jumped out of his skin when he noticed Buck, “Jesus fucking Christ.”
“No, just Buck,” Buck shook his head.
“I was going to come wake you in a few minutes. I got you an appointment. I wasn’t sure if you could get in with your doctor or not. The sooner you get this part over with, the better you’ll feel.” Sal pressed his lips together.
Buck nodded, “Yeah, wherever is fine. Do you mind going with me?”
“Sure,” Sal grabbed plates. “I can drop you off at your car after if you want. Or …”
“Or what?”
“You can chill here.” Sal shrugged his shoulders. “I know what it’s like being alone after something like this. It’s not easy. Having noise, someone around, it helps.”
“Thanks, Sal,” Buck scratched a hand through his hair. “I need to get some fresh clothes before the appointment if we have time.”
“What? You don’t like wearing my name?” Sal teased him.
Buck hadn’t even realized it, but he was dressed in some of Sal’s old LAFD gear. He snorted with amusement, “asshole.”
“Yep,” Sal popped the p and grinned. “Now, do you want to know how Tommy is handling his shift today after Lara and Martie shamed the fuck out of him after we left? Cause you know who showed up and witnessed it?”
“Oh no,” Buck breathed out.
“Lucy Donato,” Sal shook his head, “She was livid.”
“Sure,” Buck rolled his eyes. He appreciated the fact that Sal was attempting to make him feel better. He didn’t need to lie about it.
“No,” Sal scrolled on his phone and handed it over to Buck. “People care about you, dude. You put your everything on the line for us. We’re going to have your back. Tommy? He’s an acquired taste, and that’s soured for nearly all of us.”
Buck pressed play on the video that the captain of the 217 sent to Sal. Followed up with the question, “Do you know what this is all about?”
“Are you fucking kidding me, Kinnard? Disgusting. I knew you were a dick, but this is a whole new level.”
Buck glanced back and forth from the phone to Sal.
“You believe me now?” Sal took the phone back. “Now eat your food. We’ve got shit to do. I’ve got Tommy’s spare key.”
They ate breakfast, focusing on a debriefing on what Buck had learned while visiting other firehouses. He had started to take time to learn how the IC handled scenes. It wasn’t just the management of which pairs worked well together. It was a mix of split-second decisions to determine whose strength would benefit the situation and where it would be most effective.
Buck was fine until his Sal walked him up to his apartment so he could get changed, then head to the appointment. He grimaced at the few things of Tommy’s that he spotted. A flannel draped over the back of a chair. His sweater was balled up on the couch. Without even asking, Sal started collecting Tommy’s belongings. Buck smirked when Sal scrunched up the clothes before shoving them in a garbage bag.
“Get changed, Buckley. We’ve got crimes to commit.” Sal shooed him off. Buck jogged up the steps to get changed. He folded up the clothes he borrowed from Sal and brought them down with him.
“I can wash them fro you if you want?” Buck offered. Sal scoffed before taking them from Buck.
“I’ve got a perfectly good washing machine at home. Go get another set of clothes. You aren’t coming back here to be alone.” Sal stood by the door, waiting patiently for Buck to get a move on. Buck darted from his closet to his bathroom, packing everything in a duffel bag. He packed an extra set of clothes just to be safe. There was no telling how long Sal decided on him staying over.
“Ready,” Buck locked up behind them. Once they were in the car on the way to the doctor, Buck couldn’t help it. His leg jiggled. He bit at his lips. He was terrified that something would come back on the tests.
Everything quieted in his mind when Sal placed a hand on his thigh, “It’s going to be okay, Buck.”
“Just sucks having to do this,” Buck admitted.
“I know, but your health is important. If he put you at risk, the sooner you find out, the sooner you can be treated.” Sal said. He left his hand on Buck’s leg. It was enough to stop him.
The clinic was nondescript, just like most doctor offices were. White walls, rows of seats in the waiting room, and out-of-date magazines on tables. Buck signed in, handed over his insurance card and ID, and filled out the requested paperwork. When they called him back, Sal stayed seated but gave him an encouraging smile. The visit was quick. Buck told them the reason he was there, and they suggested a full panel of tests. Then he was in the chair getting his blood taken. He’d wait 24 hours for some results, 3-7 days for others.
“All good?” Sal stood up as soon as he spotted Buck.
“Yeah,” Buck nodded. “They gave me a patient portal link to see my results. They’d call, but sometimes it’s faster to see them posted.”
“Well,” Sal drawled out, “Let’s go break into Tommy’s and get your shit.”
Buck threw his head back and laughed. Yeah, they were totally committing a crime doing this. It would be so worth it to have his stand mixer back.
Tommy’s place was eerily quiet as Sal let them in. He started towards the kitchen. He dropped the bag of Tommy’s clothes on the counter before he unplugged the mixer and gathered the attachments for the stand mixer. Buck was impressed that Sal found everything without Buck telling him what to look for. Sall looked at Buck as he walked by, “We don’t have all day, Buckley. Grab your shit and let's hit the road.”
It was quicker than Buck thought it would be to find his things. A couple of paperback books, a sweater, he cleared out his tiny drawer in Tommy’s dresser, and then he grabbed his favorite travel mug. Once he had the mug, he went back to gather up all his loose teas that had been stored in the pantry.
Now, he was done.
“Alright,” Sal nodded. “If you left anything behind, it’s something you can live without.”
“Yeah,” Buck nodded. “Let’s get out of here before his neighbor calls.”
“Fucking McClusky still neighborhood watch?” Sal shook his head. “She should start bird watching or something. No need for human watching.”
Buck shook his head fondly. Only Sal would come up with ‘human watching’. They packed everything in the back of Sal’s SUV. They stood there, in front of the open trunk, looking at everything.
“We should have smeared something all over his counter.” Sal looked back towards the house.
“Nah,” Buck shook his head. “Not worth it.”
“Did you block him on your phone?” Sal asked. Buck nodded. “Good.”
“I don’t want to hear from him,” Buck said. “He doesn’t deserve my time.”
Sal clapped him hard on the back, “Fucking right. Now, let’s go. I saw a curtain twitching next door. What are you feeling like eating for lunch?”
“Henderson’s Deli. You know the place?” Buck asked.
“Do I know Henderson’s Deli?” Sal scoffed as he shut the trunk. “It’s one of my favorite spots. How do you know about it?”
“I’ve been looking for somewhere that can make a good sandwich, the kind I’d get back in Pennsylvania. It’s the only place that’s close.” Buck admitted. “There isn’t much from Pennsylvania I liked, but the subs were heaven.”
“Oh, Buckley. I’m going to blow your mind.” Sal grinned as they buckled in. “I know some amazing delis. And I’m the one who’s going to show you. Don’t get any smart ideas and go without me. It’s a you and me thing. “Got it?”
Buck grinned. He honestly couldn’t imagine a better person to hang out with at the moment. Everyone had their person. The one they could depend on when they clocked out. He was still close with Eddie. He loved spending time with Chris. Hen and Chim were always in the periphery of his life, and by default, Maddie as well. This though? Only Sal could relate to him. Sal understood his need to move up on the ladder and hopefully end up with his own station.
“Got it,” Buck couldn’t stop himself if he tried. He gripped Sal’s shoulder and squeezed it in thanks for everything Sal had done for him. Above and beyond. That melted something in his heart that Tommy never could touch. “You and me, finding the best delis in LA.”
“Fucking right, Buckley.” Sal’s grin was all teeth. He was pleased with himself.