Chapter Text
“So, when does the gremlin arrive?” Hoseok asked as he was wiping the counter. It had been wiped clean last night, but Hoseok liked to be meticulous when it came to the cafe and hygiene. And it was good that at least one of them double checked and triple checked everything.
“Who are you calling a gremlin, hyung?” Jimin straightened up after having leaned over the chalkboard sign writing the day’s lunch special — matcha latte and onigirazu, a sushi sandwich, with a few different filling options. He looked at his hyung with raised eyebrows, trying to keep the corners of his mouth from curling up, because Hoseok wasn’t exactly wrong.
The door to the kitchen swung open as Seokjin backed against it, carrying a crate full of clean cups and plates. “Who is calling our princess Hayun a gremlin?” He set the crate onto the counter and turned to Hoseok, placing his hand on Hoseok’s arm and taking on a solemn expression. “Not you, surely, Hoseok-ah. Or did you forget how we put up a court by that table over there last time she was here.”
Jimin remembered it too well, there were tiaras involved, scepters made of chopsticks and cupcake, as well as makeshift dresses made of table cloth, because Hayun had forgotten her princess dress at her mother’s and Seokjin needed one too. There had also been some questionable law making.
“It’s good for you to talk when you got to rule the cafe with her, because she made you the vice-princess, but then ordered me to walk into the sea,” Hoseok said.
“She pardoned you in the end. And what can you do when I’m the favourite uncle,” Seokjin sighed.
Jimin chuckled and lifted the chalkboard sign down from the table, setting it on the floor, taking a look at it from a couple steps away to see if it was okay. “She loves you both and you know it. And she is my little princess, but also a gremlin sometimes. So you’re both right.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Seokjin said. “She’s an angel.”
“Hyung, you’re the one teaching her all your ways,” Jimin reminded. The sign was good enough so Jimin carried it closer to the door. He then returned to the counter, leaning against it while his hyungs were busy working on the other side, emptying the crate and making sure everything was ready for the day. “Eunji is bringing her at around noon. I might have to pop back home to make sure everything is ready before that.”
“You take all the time you need and help out when you can, like we agreed for this month,” Hoseok said. “But make sure to bring her over once she gets here, I’ve missed her.”
“So she can order you to walk into the sea again?” Seokjin snickered, getting a frown from Hoseok in response.
“Hyung, there will come a day when she’s more clever than you and then you’re in danger too.”
“I think she might already be more clever,” Jimin added and ducked down from the incoming dishrag that ended up shooting over his shoulder and landing on the floor. Both him and Hoseok burst out laughing.
“Yah! She’s not even five yet, her mind is malleable. She would never betray me.”
“Of course not, hyung.” Jimin patted Seokjin’s arm. “I think I’m just going to — “ He pointed over his shoulder with his thumb and started backing towards the door. It was a few minutes before their opening time and he wanted to get the sign out before that. Also he wanted to get some distance to Seokjin, who was now narrowing his eyes and pinching his mouth in feigned annoyance, to avoid the chance of another dishrag aimed at his head.
The weather was perfect this morning. It was going to be a hot end of July day, but the breeze from the sea and the occasional clouds covering the sun made it bearable. Jimin set out the sign on its usual spot. This time of year the tiny town was full of tourists and people spending their summer holidays here. Their little red brick cafe was right by their most popular beach, at the end of a row of other establishments, so it often got quite busy. And for that reason they opened an hour earlier during the summer, at 9AM instead of their usual 10AM.
The walkway between the cafe and the beach was starting to slowly fill with the early risers, if you could call nine in the morning early. Older women and men on their morning stroll, families looking for a place to eat breakfast before a day of toasting their bodies in the sun. Over at the horizon Jimin could see a few fishing boats already returning with their catch of the day, the harbour was only a ten minute walk away from the beach.
Jimin placed his hands on his hips as he breathed in the salty air. He lifted his eyes up to the sign above the door, it had The Blue Side Cafe painted on it in different shades of blue. The name had been Hoseok’s idea. Blue Side, because the building they found for the establishment was on the sea side of the main road that went through their town.
It had now been almost six years since that night when Jimin got together with his university friends Hoseok and Seokjin, got drunk and came up with a business idea they barely remembered in the morning. All three of them wanted something else from life than wasting away in a white walled office for the next how many years it would have taken until retirement. And so they ended up here.
Jimin huffed to himself. If he got a thousand won every time his life ended up changing in a drastic way after a drunken night — well, he’d have two thousand. Because not long after moving here and barely getting the cafe running, Jimin had broken up with his then boyfriend and ended up drinking with his best friend and then nine months later Hayun was born.
The morning after the best mistake of Jimin’s life Eunji had looked at him and sighed a heavy oh shit. But they had laughed it off, or they laughed from the shock and awkwardness of it. Jimin had made her breakfast as if nothing unusual was going on and after eating they had declared never again, they were only meant for each other platonically. And that was that. Until Eunji came to Jimin’s doorstep with a positive pregnancy test and a face ready to fight. Keeping the baby had been the easiest decision Jimin had ever made. Realistically, thinking about who he felt mostly attracted to, he was never going to get a better chance to be a dad. Eunji didn’t have to fight him on it even though she later admitted she would have.
So now they were still best friends, but in addition to that they had been co-parenting the most perfect little girl for the past four years and about ten months. It hadn’t been easy and they learned as they went. During the first year Eunji and Hayun lived with Jimin in the apartment Jimin rented at the time, but then Eunji got her dream job in Busan and had to move back there. During Hayun’s second year of life they tried to evenly split the time, Hayun still lived mainly at Jimin’s, after he managed to purchase a small house by a small beach and so could offer her more space than Eunji could in the city. But during the third year Hayun moved more permanently to live with Eunji, mainly for the better options for daycare and future schools. As much as it hurt to let her go, Jimin still got to see her at least every weekend. And Busan was only about thirty minutes away if he got lucky with traffic.
Their little girl was going to turn five later this year and they were confident they had found a system that worked. At least for now. It wasn’t ideal, but it was the best they could do. And as summer holidays had begun, it was the time when Jimin got to have his baby with him for a whole month.
“Yah! Dreamboy!” Seokjin’s shout came from the open cafe door. “Stop smelling the wind and come back inside!”
With a small smile on his lips, Jimin huffed again and shook his head, dropping his hands from his hips. “You’re not my boss!”
“No, but I’m your hyung, so that makes me your boss, technically.”
It was always like this, they had decided they were all three of them on equal standing, but then in the end Jimin and Seokjin listened to Hoseok.
Jimin had taken his bicycle to work in the morning, he regretted it slightly when he pedaled back home as fast as he could. He was about fifteen minutes late from his schedule and still needed to make sure Hayun’s bedroom was ready and tidy for her to make it her own again and that nothing in the kitchen was expired since he mostly ate at the cafe or with any of his friends when he was alone.
His home was a small, but relatively newly renovated building. Just a white one storey rectangle with big windows towards the tiny beach behind it and to the garden with chest height walls surrounding it. It had been a bargain when Jimin found it and the next few months he had tried to figure out why it had been so cheap, not finding anything wrong with the house itself. But apparently the grandson of the previous owner had only wanted to get rid of it, saying no one would want to move there from the city and didn’t want to ask similar prices that some other sellers had set for similar seaside houses. Jimin had to consider himself lucky.
Once inside the gate Jimin left his bike leaning against the wall and ran into the house. That was the moment when he got a message from Eunji saying there was some traffic at Busan end, slowing down their trip out of the city. At least it gave Jimin enough time to tidy everything, but also made his stomach burst in jitters of anticipation. This time it had been a little over a week since he’d seen Hayun and whenever he didn’t see her for a longer period of time — even if face calls existed — he somehow imagined the next time she would be almost his height and would say she was starting university soon. He was not ready for her to grow up and miss all of it.
He was just finishing changing the sheets to Hayun’s bed when he finally heard the car arrive. And he was opening the front door when the car doors slammed shut and next thing in his ears was the high pitched shout with a familiar small voice, “Daddy!”
“Hayun-ah!”
She came running from behind Jimin’s car, which was parked on the driveway, her pigtails bouncing with every step. And Jimin felt his heart burst with love getting to see her again. He crouched down just in time for her to collide into him for a tight hug, her short arms nearly strangling him.
”I missed you so much, my little sunshine,” Jimin said. Having Hayun in his arms always made breathing a little bit easier, not needing to wonder how she was feeling or what she was doing. Even if Eunji kept him well updated, the longing of having his child close was always there.
”I missed you too, dad. Can we go swimming today?” Hayun pulled back, enough for Jimin to be able to see her cute face and round cheeks as she pouted and looked down at her hands when she started to play with Jimin’s necklace.
“Yes we can go swimming today, but later, okay? First we’re going to spend some time with your uncles at the cafe.”
Hayun’s face split into a bright smile. “Okay. Maybe uncles will want to swim with us too.”
“Maybe they will.”
Jimin kissed her cheek. She was the perfect mixture of his and Eunji’s features, his lips and her eyes, but every day she was becoming more and more herself too, just Hayun. And if Jimin had thought his love had a limit before, these days his heart was overflowing with it.
“She’s been talking about swimming non stop this past week,” Eunji said with a smile, carrying Hayun’s bags. “So good luck with that.”
“Hi to you too,” Jimin said as he stood up and went for their usual cheek kiss and a tight hug, with Hayun giggling at their feet. “Everything okay? You look serious,” he added after noticing a subtle change in her demeanour.
Eunji jutted out her lips into a pout when he stepped back from the hug, it made her look younger than her thirty years of age, even when she was wearing a sharp suit jacket and her black hair was in a sleek ponytail. “Why do you always do that?”
“What?” Jimin laughed.
“Know something’s up before I say it.”
“So there is something?” Jimin asked. “And we’ve known each other since the first day of elementary school, of course I know your tells.”
“We need to talk,” Eunji said with a quieter voice, glancing down at Hayun who was now staring at ants walking over the paving stones. “It’s nothing serious. It’s a good thing actually. But we should go inside first.”
Jimin wasn’t sure what to think after feeling a jolt in his stomach at Eunji’s words, despite her reassurance. “Is Hayun okay?”
“Yes, she’s perfect, just — let’s go in and I’ll tell you.” Eunji nodded towards the door.
It took a couple of seconds for Jimin to shake himself out of it before he nodded and turned to look at his daughter. “Hayun-ah, do you want dad to carry you?”
Hayun looked up at him, dispelling some of the uncomfortable nerves he felt, and she nodded, already coming to him with her arms raised. Jimin lifted her up and hugged her again. She was more than capable of walking on her own, but Jimin wasn’t going to stop carrying her as long as she fit into his arms and would want him to.
“I’m so happy you haven’t grown too much since I last saw you.”
“It’s because you and mom are so short,” Hayun said with a serious expression. “All of my uncles are tall, but not you.”
“Ah, well — “ Jimin didn’t know what to say without bursting out laughing.
“She was already 95 centimetres at her last check up,” Eunji said, clearly amused too, as they walked towards the door.
“No way, almost a full metre already?” Jimin glanced at Eunji, then turned his focus back to Hayun. “Are you almost a metre tall already?”
“I’m a hundred metres tall,” Hayun said with a straight face.
“Oh I hope not.”
“You’re in for a good time with this one,” Eunji said and placed her free hand on Jimin’s shoulder.
Hayun knew her way around the house so once Jimin let her roam free, she already ran towards her room to play with the toys she had here, leaving Jimin and Eunji in the open kitchen-living room space.
“So?” Jimin began.
“So.”
“Do you want anything? Water? Anything to eat?” Jimin looked around, trying to see if he could offer anything else. “Or maybe you could come by the cafe before you leave and I’ll give you our lunch special on the house — “
Eunji touched his hand. “Jimin, you’re practically rambling.”
He finally settled and let out a nervous laugh. “See? It doesn’t only go one way, we’ve known each other for too long.”
“I’m getting a promotion.”
“What?” Jimin lifted his eyebrows. “That’s great news! Congratulations!” He surged in for a hug.
“Wait, there’s more.” Eunji pushed him at an arm's length.
“More? Don’t tell me you’re getting together with Taehyung?”
“What? No!” Eunji laughed.
“You’re pregnant? Though this time it can’t be me.”
She slapped Jimin’s arm, but couldn’t stop laughing. “No, I’m not.”
“Then tell me, I’m not that good of a mind reader.”
Eunji pulled herself together and took a long breath, a small smile on her lips that didn’t look as excited as Jimin might’ve expected. “The job is in Seoul.”
The smile that had been on Jimin’s face slowly fell away as he processed what she said. And the more he thought about it, the more it felt like the floor was being pulled from under him. He looked towards where Hayun’s room was, he could hear her chatting away by herself, probably talking to all of her plushies, greeting them one by one after not seeing them in a week. And just like that the happy mood from just a moment ago changed to dread, the anticipation and excitement turning dull and ashy in his stomach.
“You’re going to take her with you, aren’t you?” He turned his eyes back to Eunji and tried to blink away the emotions suddenly bubbling up.
His unhelpful mind started providing him images of what the future might look like with Eunji and Hayun living several hours away from him. Hayun’s room gathering dust. Him alone in his house. Missing out on Hayun’s growth. Not being there for her first school day, or for the first lost baby tooth. Them growing more and more distant as time went by. Not getting to see what kind of woman she would grow up to be.
He knew he was catastrophising, but he was unable to stop it.
Eunji tilted her head, her hand against the kitchen island counter, and she made a move to approach, halting it in the middle. “Maybe. We need to talk about it.”
“Oh shit.” Jimin hung his head and tried to wipe away the escaped tear.
There were hands on his shoulders as Eunji, half a head shorter than Jimin, but feeling so much bigger in this moment, pulled him into a hug.
“I’m not going to take her away from you. We’ll figure this out.”
Even though they were born in the same year, Eunji was older than him by almost eight months. She was the one who protected Jimin from school bullies during the first grade. She was the one he always went to with his heartaches and troubles growing up. She was the first person he came out to when he realised he liked boys more than girls. They both had their own new friend circles now too, but the friendship they shared was unbreakable.
And Jimin felt it, how much she meant to him despite hating her a little bit for having to move so far away. “I’m happy for you, I really am, but — “ He drew in a breath, a few more tears rolling down his cheeks, as he waved his hand towards Hayun’s room.
“I know.” Eunji didn’t look unaffected either. “But if you keep crying, you’re going to make me cry and then we’ll just worry our daughter.”
Jimin bit his lip. “I don’t want to lose her,” he whispered, unable to keep his face from crumbling.
“You won’t. We’ve always figured this out.”
“I know.” Jimin wiped his eyes to his sleeve, sniffing his nose. “Sorry. I think I’ve been so excited to have her here for a whole month that this just — caught me off guard.”
Eunji lifted her hands to squeeze Jimin’s cheeks on both sides. “Understandable. But we have time to think about this. I have to move at the end of October at the earliest and I can stretch the final move to December if at the start I do part time from home part from the office.” She then dropped her hands. “Though there’s always the option for me to decline the offer.”
“No,” Jimin said quickly, shaking his head. “It’s your dream job, remember? We can both have the kind of life we want, that’s what we talked about.”
“Sometimes you have to compromise.”
She was right, especially now that they had to think about Hayun too. But it also wasn’t fair to Jimin that he had the chance to live his dream life building the cafe while Eunji would have been stuck to her position in Busan even when she wanted more.
“Do you want the promotion?”
Eunji stared at Jimin for a moment. “I do,” she whispered. “I really do.”
“Then go for it.”
“But Hayun — “
“Like you said, we’ll figure it out.” Jimin took her hand in his. He wasn’t sure if they actually were going to figure this particular dilemma in a way that was satisfying to all three of them, but they had to try. And in the end the only one who really mattered was Hayun. “We’ll decide what's best for her, right?”
“Right.”
The sound of small running steps made them break their eye contact and look down to where Hayun was barreling towards them. She ran straight to Jimin, colliding with his legs so hard he let out a small umph at the impact. No matter how much he wanted her to stop growing, she was going to. And it wasn’t quite the same as when at almost two years old and barely above Jimin’s knee she had just learned to run and did the same thing.
“Dad?” Hayun looked up at him, hugging his legs.
“Yes, sunshine.” Jimin smiled, even if it felt fragile on his lips.
“Can we go swimming now?”
“First we’ll go see your uncles for a bit, remember?”
Hayun scrunched her nose. “Okay. But then swimming, because I really want to.”
“Yes.”
“She’s a whole water beast,” Eunji said.
“I’m not!” Hayun scrunched her brow this time. “But my friend the dragon is.” She then detached from Jimin’s legs and headed back towards her room.
“Dragon?” Jimin asked.
Eunji shrugged. “You know how her imagination is.” Then she sighed and took a step closer, squeezing Jimin’s arm. “I hope you’ll enjoy this month with her. Don’t think too much about autumn, okay? We’ll talk, but I don’t want it to ruin your time with her.”
“You know I’ll be thinking about it.”
“Yes, but try not to.”
Jimin sighed too. “I’ll try.” He leaned his back against the kitchen island. “What are your plans now that you have more alone time?”
“I was thinking about going on a few dates.” Eunji smiled.
“Dates? Not with Tae though?”
She laughed. “Why do you bring him up all the time?”
“Because I know you both had a crush on each other in high school, first loves never fade.”
It had been only Jimin and Eunji for a few years, until Kim Taehyung moved to their class during the fourth grade. And because Jimin had a soft spot for him and his perpetually confused eyes and Eunji was ready to protect anyone who Jimin liked, they became a trio.
“Oh sure,” Eunji deadpanned. “Not with Taehyung. I’ll meet up with him though, have to break the news to him too.”
“So if he ends up on my doorstep with a tub of ice cream and tears in his eyes I’ll know you told him,” Jimin said with a smile. As much as it would hurt him to see his friend cry, it would be an amusing sight Taehyung being a personal trainer with the body to match his profession.
“I swear — how can I leave you two alone here, you’ll wreak havoc without me watching out for you two.” Eunji shook her head.
“You know you’d be good with him.” Jimin stared at her with a little bit of challenge. “He’s always had a calming effect on you.”
“We don’t have feelings for each other,” she said. “Anymore.”
“Mhm.”
“He would absolutely hate being with me.”
Jimin kept staring, because Eunji couldn’t have been more wrong and he could see her resolve starting to break.
And then, a bit more quietly, “Has he said something? Recently?”
“Aha!” Jimin pointed a vindictive finger at her.
“Nothing aha, I was just wondering.”
“He hasn’t really said anything directly, but it’s in the way he talks about you,” Jimin said.
“Like?“
“Like he still has feelings, just saying.”
Eunji huffed through her nose. “I can’t really think about a full relationship right before moving across the country though, can I?”
“You could take Taehyung with you instead of Hayun,” Jimin suggested, only half-seriously.
“Wouldn’t you be lonely without him too?”
“Oh my god you’re really thinking about it.” Jimin ignored the too at the end of Eunji’s question and if she meant herself with it or Hayun.
Eunji widened her eyes, then shook her head. “No, definitely not!”
“Yes you are.” Jimin couldn’t help but let his smile grow.
“No I’m not.”
“Yes you are,” Jimin said with a laugh. “Would you stay for lunch?”
“Changing the subject, very subtle.”
“Well, I got what I wanted. So, lunch?”
Eunji looked at him from under her brows. But then her face softened. “I can’t, I have to go back and work for the night.”
“Poor you.”
“I know. I need to show them I’m worthy of that promotion.”
As light as they managed to get the mood, Jimin felt it drop again. Eunji must have noticed, because she pulled him into another hug.
“We’ll be okay,” she said. “I’ll be in your life even if from hours away. And Hayun — we’ll sort it out.”
“Yeah.”
Then she let go. “I’ll just say bye to Hayun.”
“You’re going to come by next weekend though, right?” Jimin followed her towards Hayun’s room.
“Of course, and we’ll spend the day together.”
Despite all the excitement Hayun could hold in her tiny body for the prospect of swimming later, and staying with her dad, Eunji leaving brought out her emotional side. And for a moment Jimin felt a small pang of guilt for the thought of wanting Hayun to stay with him once Eunji would move to Seoul. Hayun loved both of her parents and no one was going to be the winner no matter what the final solution would be.
After a moment of hugging it out, Jimin quietly talking about Hayun’s uncles and about the beach slowly brought her out of her sad mood.
“Dad?” Hayun asked after jumping into the back seat of Jimin’s car and climbing onto her booster seat with Jimin’s help.
“Mh?” Jimin leaned in to attach the seat belt correctly. She had recently grown out of the rear-facing seat so Jimin had had to replace it and now the seat faced the front of the car.
“Did mom make you sad too?”
“What do you mean?”
Hayun sighed. “When you were talking in the kitchen.”
Jimin paused and looked at his daughter who was holding onto a brontosaurus toy she had wanted to take with her and was staring at it instead of Jimin. She was becoming more observant and clever every day. And Jimin had to come up with an answer that wasn’t a full lie, because he didn’t want to lie to Hayun — and he thought she might sense if he did. But he also didn’t know how much she knew about Eunji’s job, other than she worked with clothes, or about the move, probably nothing yet.
“She didn’t make me sad. I just get emotional sometimes thinking about how much I love you.” He clicked the last piece of the seatbelt in place, making sure it was securely attached.
Hayun’s forehead scrunched in thought. “So I make you sad?”
Shit. “No! Baby, no, you don’t.” Jimin gave a kiss on her forehead. “You never make me sad, it’s not your job to think about my feelings, okay?”
“But I want you to be happy,” Hayun said with a serious pout and finally looked at Jimin, kicking her feet a bit.
“I am, trust me, I am. Especially now that you’re here. But you’re never responsible for my feelings,” Jimin said, not sure if she would understand, but hoping he was doing the right thing. He had done his fair share of reading on child psychology and attachment theory and he hoped there was a chance she’d grow up into a balanced adult despite how she lived between two homes.
“Okay.” Hayun still seemed a bit pensive, focused on her dinosaur toy.
“Ready to go to the cafe to see uncle Jin and uncle Hobi?” Jimin tried to lighten the atmosphere.
She immediately glanced at him with a smile and nodded.
“Let’s get going then.”
Driving to the cafe took no time at all, only about five minutes give or take. And Hayun was already in an excited, almost hyper, state when Jimin parked the car to the side on the employee spot. He quickly let Hayun out before she would vibrate off her seat and had to be fast to follow her to the cafe door.
“Ready?” Jimin asked, his hand on the door handle while Hayun was pattering her feet on the ground, her hands in fists, as if preparing for a race.
She nodded and lifted the brontosaurus in front of her. So Jimin opened the door for her and she rushed inside, stopping in the middle of the cafe. But when no one was behind the counter she drew in a long breath, filling her lungs in preparation and Jimin knew to plug his ears.
“Uncle Jin!”
Jimin cringed a little at how loud she was. But the shout did its thing when Seokjin’s head appeared through the kitchen door with eyebrows pinched in fake annoyance.
“Yah! Who is calling me?”
Hayun ran to the side of the counter with a high pitched squeal. “Uncle Jin! It’s me!”
“It’s who? I can’t see anyone,” Seokjin continued, pretending to peer over the counter, shading his eyes with his right hand.
“It’s me! Park Hayun!” She was now jumping up and down.
Then Seokjin glanced down and gasped, making an exaggerated shocked face. “Princess Hayun! I didn’t see you there. Did you shrink?”
“No, I didn’t!”
And Seokjin’s silliness was always worth it when he knew how to make Hayun laugh.
Seokjin came through the small swinging gate at the side of the counter and lifted Hayun up. Jimin looked at them for a moment, but then got the distinct feeling that they weren’t in the cafe as alone as he first thought. He glanced over his shoulder to see a man, probably not much older than them, sitting at the corner table by the window. His eyes were on Seokjin and Hayun, a small gentle smile on his lips, dimples in his cheeks. And he must have sensed he was being watched, because the next thing he turned his eyes to Jimin and then quickly looked down at his lunch.
Jimin didn’t think too much about it, maybe the man was a tourist, Jimin hadn’t seen him before. But still, there was a strange air about him, his eyes rather piercing. And Jimin thought maybe he could bring him something on the house to apologise for the ruckus, especially when he seemed to be scribbling something in his small notebook and probably wanted peace.
“Did no one miss uncle Hobi?” Hoseok asked, appearing from the kitchen.
Seokjin had placed Hayun to sit on the countertop next to the cash register, she leaned to the side to see Hoseok and giggled, hiding behind Seokjin again.
“Oh-oh, nothing to see here,” Seokjin played along.
“I was sure I could hear Hayun’s voice, did I hallucinate it?” Hoseok continued.
“I’m here!” Hayun said, but hid again when Hoseok tried to see past Seokjin.
“Where?”
“Here!”
“Ah, there you are! Oh you look so stylish in that t-shirt miss Hayun, and those jean shorts, I’ve got a similar pair,” Hoseok said and showed off his legs.
Hayun was wearing a dark blue t-shirt with a funny cat print on it and wide legged knee length shorts. She looked down at the shirt and pointed at the cat, the brontosaurus dangling from the neck in her other fist. “Mom picked this for me.”
“Of course she did, a fashion professional.”
“I’m a fashion peu-peufessional too,” Hayun said proudly.
“You are, you definitely are.” Hoseok smiled.
“Hey, can you look after her a bit, I’ll just — “ Jimin nodded in the direction of their patron. “I think I should maybe give him a cupcake or something, for the inconvenience.” Now he nodded subtly towards Hayun.
“I’m sure he’s fine, but if you really want to, you can,” Hoseok said, his eyes glancing towards the patron too.
“He’s new here, right?” Jimin asked more quietly.
“I’ve seen him quite a few times, always picks that table, said he likes the plants we’ve put there and the view to the sea.”
“Why haven’t I seen him before?”
“Maybe because you have been actively trying to avoid seeing any handsome men out in the world for the past five years, Jimin,” Hoseok lowered his voice to a whisper, but lifted his eyebrows to enhance his words.
Jimin reached across the counter for a soft swipe at Hoseok’s arm. “You know I have a reason not to date.”
Seokjin and Hayun were very focused in their own debate and Jimin could hardly believe the lack of his dating life would come up now, out of all the moments.
“Mm, sure.” Hoseok didn’t look convinced. But he took one of the matcha flavoured cupcakes they had baked for today and gave the plate to Jimin. “You could ask for his number while you’re at it. If not for you, then for me.”
Jimin tsked and shook his head. He would’ve wanted to ask what about Seokjin hyung, but was already turning around and approaching the table.
“Hi,” he said carefully, not wanting to scare the man.
The man looked up at Jimin and wow, he really had beautiful eyes. Jimin thought back to Hayun’s words about a dragon friend, because there was something in them —
“Yes?” the man said, and Jimin realised he had been staring.
“Oh, yeah, I wanted to bring you this.” He placed the cupcake plate down on the table. “On the house. Because of the disturbance.” Jimin made a quick gesture towards where Hoseok and Seokjin were entertaining Hayun.
The man followed it, then turned those eyes back to Jimin and Jimin almost wanted to blush and hide. “I wasn’t bothered by it.” His voice was rather deep, but with gentleness behind it.
“Oh? Well, I hope you accept this anyway,” Jimin said and smiled.
For a moment it seemed like the man might decline, but then he nodded. “I — Thank you.” The dimples popped into his cheeks more when he smiled wider, his eyes disappearing. “Uh, I’m Kim Namjoon,” he said, suddenly looking confused, like he wasn’t sure why he was telling his name to Jimin.
“Park Jimin, one of the owners of this place, nice to meet you.” Jimin bowed. “I hope you’re enjoying your food.”
“I am, thank you.”
“Are you a writer?” Jimin asked before he could stop himself. “Oh, sorry, I’ll leave you alone now,” he backtracked when Namjoon glanced at him, the confusion mixing with surprise.
“No, it’s alright. I — I guess I am a writer.”
“That’s really cool.” Part of Jimin would have wanted to stay and chat, but he was already embarrassing himself and Hayun was waiting, as was his job. “I hope you like the cupcake, Namjoon-ssi.” He bowed and finally retreated, turning around and making a desperate face to Hoseok and a beeline to the kitchen.
Hoseok followed him. And once the door shut behind them he opened his mouth, “I know you like them big and muscly.”
Jimin directed his hyung a death stare. But then he sighed. “He’s not quite my type, handsome yes, but — “
“Not cute enough?”
“I embarrassed myself.”
“So you didn’t get his number for me.” Hoseok walked over to the oven, to check whatever new invention he had baking in there. He liked to experiment with flavours, making test batches sometimes during the day when it was quiet and he had time.
“I got his name, Kim Namjoon.”
Hoseok straightened his back and shifted his eyes to the ceiling in thought. “Doesn’t sound familiar.”
“He’s a writer.”
“Mm, sexy brain, I like it.”
“Hyung, what about — “ Jimin nodded towards the door, he could hear Seokjin explaining the espresso making process to Hayun — for the hundredth time, because for some reason she had always been fascinated by the machine and back when she learned the word again, she would repeat it over and over until Seokjin got tired of explaining and started flying her around in his arms like an airplane.
“I can’t tell him and you can’t either, it was a mistake to even tell it to you,” Hoseok whisper shouted. “And we have a business together, I can’t risk it.”
“Why are my friends like this?” Jimin sighed.
“What do you mean?”
“Eunji and Taehyung have danced around each other for years and now you and Seokjin hyung.”
“Maybe you should quit playing cupid and focus on your own happiness.”
“I am doing that, I have Hayun.”
“She’ll grow up and you’ll be all alone.”
That was a bit too close to home today of all days.
“Ouch.”
“All I’m saying is — hey, what is it?” Hoseok was immediately by Jimin’s side. “Jimin, it was a joke.”
“I know.” The emotions came from nowhere again, making him bite his lip and try to blink it away. “Fuck.”
“Now you’re just worrying me. What’s wrong?”
Jimin drew in a breath, bracing himself to say it. “Eunji is going to move to Seoul.”
“What?”
“She got a promotion. Ah, I can’t start crying again now.” Jimin pushed the heels of his palms against his eyes, hoping to squash the tears before they fell. “Hayun will know and I don’t want her to think I’m sad all the time.”
“Hey,” Hoseok said softly and pulled Jimin into one of his engulfing hugs, one of his hands at the back of Jimin’s head. “Is she going with Eunji? Has it been decided?”
Jimin shook his head against Hoseok’s shoulder. “No. We’ll figure it out.” He repeated the words from the earlier conversation with Eunji like it was a mantra.
Hoseok backed up enough to cup Jimin’s face. “Then I believe it’s going to be okay. Eunji won’t want to hurt you.”
“Yeah. Though Hayun’s happiness is the most important in this.”
Hoseok hummed, agreeing. “When is she moving?”
“Late autumn earliest.” Jimin sniffed and unceremoniously wiped his nose to the inside of his t-shirt.
Hoseok made a disgusted face. “You’re going to first change your shirt if you’re working and then not think about this whole thing while Hayun is with you, okay?”
“Yeah,” Jimin said with a small chuckle.
“And remember you’ve got us, me and Seokjin. Whatever you need, more time off with the little one, a shoulder, an ear, we’ve got it all covered.”
“I love you, hyung.” Jimin threw himself for another hug.
“Love you too.”
“Would you join us on the beach later?” Jimin asked once he felt good enough to let Hoseok out of his grip.
“Hyung is closing tonight, but I can go.” Hoseok smiled.
Jimin wasn’t sure what he’d do without his safety net.
They had a steady string of customers throughout the rest of the day. Namjoon stayed for another hour, but then quietly bowed and smiled when he caught Jimin’s eye as he was leaving. Jimin didn’t fully focus on working, having Hayun there. But that was how it had always been. When Hayun wasn’t entertained by either of his hyungs, she would follow Jimin and help him with things like filling the napkin holders or watering the plants or counting the remaining pastries in the display case by the counter.
Later in the afternoon, after a snack, Jimin made her a small bed on the staff room couch to nap on. It wasn’t something they had in her routine every day these days, only when needed, and today especially had already been full of changes. When she was smaller she would sleep in the pram or the carrier across Jimin’s chest. Now Jimin sat next to the couch, gently stroking her nose and hair, singing a quiet lullaby, as her eyes became heavy and she drifted off to dreamland.
The grip in Jimin’s heart was strong, he really didn’t want to lose her.
“You’ve got everything?” Jimin asked as he was making sure he’d grabbed everything they thought they needed at the beach. He glanced back at Hoseok who gave him an unimpressed look, a small kid sized unicorn floatie hanging around his neck, a bag containing their towels in one hand and his own personal bag in his other hand. “I take it as a yes.”
Once Hayun woke up from her nap, Jimin made sure she was hydrated and wasn’t hungry before he helped her change into her swimming suit in the staff room. It was one with sleeves and knee length legs to protect her from the sunlight, at least for the most part. In addition she had a matching sun hat.
“I don’t understand why you make me carry everything,” Hoseok complained.
“You volunteered to help me. Also I have my daughter to look out for.”
“Speaking about your daughter, where is she?”
Jimin looked at his feet, having been so focused on Hayun’s bag and what was inside it that he hadn’t noticed Hayun scurrying off somewhere out of sight. He felt his stomach drop as he started to look for her with his eyes. The cafe door was closed and too heavy for her to open on her own so she must have still been inside the cafe.
“Hayun-ah!”
It didn’t take long for Jimin to hear a very recognisable giggle from behind the big monstera plant next to the corner table where that man, Namjoon, had sat earlier. And despite knowing she wouldn’t have been able to be far, Jimin let out a relieved breath.
“Hm, I wonder where Hayun went.”
Another giggle. Jimin took a few steps closer to the monstera and could already see the top of her head behind one of the bigger leaves.
“I didn’t know plants could laugh.”
“They can’t!” Hayun shouted, but decided to still stay in her hiding place.
“Huh. The plant is talking too. I can’t find Hayun anywhere, I think I need to go to the beach on my own with uncle Hobi,” Jimin said, faking a disappointed tone. “Maybe Hayun doesn’t want to go swimming after all.”
That did the trick. Hayun stood up with a gasp, she was so fast Jimin was scared the plant pot would fall over, but it only clattered on the floor before it settled. Hayun though ran over to him.
“I do want to go swimming, dad, I really do. I need to swim!”
“Desperate little creature,” Hoseok said from behind Jimin as Hayun was hanging onto Jimin’s swimshorts.
Jimin wasn’t too eager to go into the water today, it had been a long day, but if there ever was something he would do for his daughter’s happiness, he would do it. So swimming it was.
With a sigh Jimin lowered himself into a squat in front of her and took a hold of her hand. “First can you listen to me for a sec?” He asked, making eye contact.
Hayun nodded enthusiastically.
“Okay. When we go outside, first you have to look that there’s no bikes coming from either side, and if the walkway is clear, you can run to the beach, but — “ Hayun was already starting to bounce on her feet, so Jimin made sure she followed what he was saying. “If me and uncle Hobi are behind, you have to wait until we get to you before going in the water, okay?”
Hayun nodded again.
“So what do we do?” Jimin asked.
“Look for no bikes and run to the beach and wait for dad and uncle Hobi,” she said quickly, almost stumbling over her own words, with her eyes wide.
“That’s my clever girl.”
After that they were out of the door and Jimin watched how Hayun stopped by the walkway, leaned forward almost comically to look to both sides. There was no one around and when she realised it too, she glanced over to Jimin.
“Go on,” Jimin said.
And she was off.
“That girl learned to run and never stopped,” Hoseok said as he walked by Jimin’s side to the sand. “Have you thought about enrolling her in a dance class? She might like it. At least she’d have the energy for it. And it’s in her blood.” He nudged Jimin’s arm.
Jimin had danced since highschool, contemporary and ballet, even some hiphop in the mix. And he had met Hoseok through dance classes during university. It had been a viable career option for him at one time, but then combined business and economics major felt a more reliable one. He still missed dancing, but he didn’t regret any of his life decisions since it brought him here.
“I’d love to, but we’ll see. Eunji thinks Hayunie might like swimming lessons instead. At least after this summer.”
“I could teach her a few dance moves and then we’d see if she likes it,” Hoseok said. Unlike Jimin, Hoseok still took a dance class here and there, sometimes he managed to drag Jimin along too, but not often enough.
“That would be nice.”
Hayun bounced along the sand towards the water’s edge. At one point she tripped over her feet and both Jimin and Hoseok had an instinctual reaction, almost rushing to her, but then she stood up with a smile, glanced over to where her dad was coming and continued her run. Jimin had learned that with a kid he’d have his heart in his throat many times a day and he simply had to get used to it if he wanted her to grow unfettered. With necessary boundaries and rules that kept her safe, but not limiting her freedom to explore life.
Just as he had asked her to do, she stopped right by the water. It was almost stretching what Jimin had told her to do, because Jimin could see the waves were lapping against her toes. But she waited.
“Dad, hurry up!”
“I’m coming!”
“You’re too slow!”
Jimin laughed. Hoseok shook his head beside him. The beach wasn’t as huge as the beaches in Busan, but it took a minute to walk across to the water. And Jimin took his time.
“I know we taught her to swim last summer, but does she still know how?” Hoseok asked quietly once they were a few metres from Hayun. “Is she going to be safe?”
It had been the end of August the previous year when Hayun actually managed to swim the short distance between Jimin and Hoseok for the first time. Hoseok had sent her towards Jimin and Hayun kicked the water and paddled with her hands and when Jimin picked her up she was beaming. The distance must have been only about two metres.
This year the sea was only now starting to be warm enough for Hayun to swim in.
“We tried the water last week at the beach by my house and she swam really well,” Jimin said. “And Eunji has been taking her to swim in a pool when she can.”
“There’s some waves,” Hoseok said, shading his eyes with his hand from the evening sun.
“We’ll stay in the shallow part. I need that though.” Jimin pointed at the floatie around Hoseok’s neck.
“Ah, yeah, right, of course.” Hoseok took the unicorn off and handed it over to Jimin.
“Da-aad!” Hayun was already running in place, her tiny feet slapping the wet sand, impatient to be in the water.
Jimin couldn’t help but laugh. “What got you all so jittery? Are there ants in your pants?”
“No!” Hayun laughed, her face scrunching up the way it did when she was slightly frustrated with her dad. “I don’t have ants in my pants. That’s silly.”
“What is it then?”
“I want to go to the water, but you’re slow,” Hayun pouted.
Jimin stopped in front of her. “I’m here now. Hands up.” He held the unicorn floatie above her head, waiting for her to lift her arms up to bring the floatie down around her waist. He then held her face and gave a kiss on top of her head. “Now you can go.”
With a squeal she hurried into the water, holding onto the floatie. She didn’t get too far when she already fell, but luckily the unicorn was there to keep her on the surface.
“Stay close to the shore, okay?” Jimin reminded her. “Make sure you can see me and that your feet reach the bottom. I’ll join you in a minute.”
“Yes, dad!”
“That girl has no sense of self preservation,” Hoseok said.
Jimin smiled. “She got that side from her mom.”
Hoseok laughed.
“Did I tell you about the time Eunji decked a boy twice her size when we were in the first grade?” Jimin asked, not taking his eyes off Hayun.
“I think you’ve mentioned it.”
“Well it wasn’t the only time she did that. At one point I thought she’d get into boxing.”
Hoseok laughed. “And now she’s working for a fashion brand.”
“At least Hayun still listens to me. Eunji was a nightmare to her parents back when we were kids, now that I think about it. Though she did listen to my parents.”
“Jimin, you’re the best dad a kid could have,” Hoseok said, a gentle smile on his lips.
“Hyung, don’t make me cry again,” Jimin warned.
Hoseok squeezed his shoulder. “So you’re going in?” He nodded towards where Hayun was happily splashing.
“I don’t really have a choice. Do you want to swim with us?”
“I think I’ll watch you from the beach first and keep our stuff safe. It’ll be nice after a long day to just sit. But I’ll join you if I change my mind.”
“Okay.” Jimin handed Hayun’s bag over to Hoseok and took off his t-shirt. “If you stay here, can you let me know when it’s closer to six?”
“Dinner time?”
Jimin nodded.
“I’ll let you know. Now go on.”
Hayun let out a bright “Daddy!” when Jimin ran into the water and playfully crashed against the surface, diving under and then coming up pretending to go after her. Hayun’s laughter was the best thing he had ever heard in his life.
Time went fast when playing in the water. Hayun practiced her swimming by leaving the floatie and swimming to Jimin and back. And Jimin was impressed by how well she kept herself above water. Though when she put her swimming mask on she truly became a diving champion, giving Jimin heart palpitations every time she spent a few seconds longer below the surface even if Jimin could still see her.
When she wasn’t being a water beast, like Eunji had rightfully called her, she was hanging around Jimin’s shoulders while he swam, or begging him to throw her into the water, or splashing Jimin with water. Jimin pretended to be a sea dragon for her when at one point she seemed disappointed her imaginary friend wasn’t around, but then he got told he was doing it all wrong.
“Sea dragons aren’t like that, dad. They’re bigger!” Hayun lifted her arms to her side as wide as she could with her eyes big and round.
And Jimin tried not to laugh at how seriously she was taking it. “How big are they?”
“I don’t know. They’re bigger than you or uncle Hobi or uncle Jin. I can tell you when I see it again,” she said with her brows in a concentrated frown.
“Jimin!” Hoseok’s voice came from the beach, making Jimin turn his head towards it. “It’s fifteen to six now!”
“Okay! Thanks, hyung!” Jimin was in a crouch under the surface, so that only his neck and head was visible above it, otherwise the water would have reached his thigh. He slid towards Hayun, letting the water carry him closer. “Hayun-ah.”
She turned around on the floatie to face him.
“It’s almost dinner time. Last bit of swimming and then we need to go home.”
Hayun’s frown deepened. “But the dragon.”
“You’re with me for a whole four weeks. Do you know how much time that is?” Jimin asked.
Hayun shook her head, her mouth turning into a pout as well.
“It’s a lot of time, many days. And we can swim as much as you want. But now it’s been an hour already and your lips are starting to turn blue, you’re clearly getting cold.”
“I’m not.”
“Yes you are, baby. And dad is getting hungry, so we really need to go and get some food.”
Hayun’s pout got poutier and her brows even more scrunched. She could be the cutest thing with her expressions and at the same time Jimin hated disappointing her. But he tried to remind himself that processing disappointment was an important skill in life and moments like these were perfect opportunities for her to learn how to deal with it.
“You can swim for ten more minutes, but when I say it’s time to go, we go.”
Hayun sighed the most dramatic sigh, her arms hanging over the side of the unicorn, her chin resting on the curve of it and her face dejected. “Okay.”
“I’m going to dry off now, you should swim towards the shore too.” Jimin gave her a look and when she nodded he started wading towards the dry sand.
Hoseok was standing at the water’s edge with two towels in his hands. “She doesn’t look happy.”
Jimin took a towel and put it over his shoulders, drying his face before he glanced at Hayun who was still hanging over the side of her floatie like a deflated balloon. “She’ll live. She just has this imaginary friend she wanted to see and it didn’t appear.” He shrugged.
“Kids, huh.”
“I love her to bits, but it’s like I’m constantly learning how to handle her and when I get used to something, she’s already learned a new skill and I need to learn with her. I feel like I know her and I love seeing her grow into her own being, but there’s something new every day.” Jimin wasn’t sure what made him say this. Hayun wasn’t throwing a tantrum, nothing had gone wrong, she was just a bit moody because they had to go home soon. The first day of having her back was always a little overwhelming for Jimin, reminding him of the things he missed while they were apart.
“Like I said before, you’re doing great.”
“You know — “ Jimin looked at Hayun who was slowly swimming now, looking through the surface with her goggles as she hung over the side of the unicorn. “Sometimes I wonder if what me and Eunji are doing is okay, if it’s enough for her. We make it work, but is it enough.”
“What’s got you thinking about that? Eunji moving?”
“I don’t know.”
“Look, she’s loved, she’s cared for, she’s happy.”
“But her parents aren’t in love and living together.”
“Not in the traditional way, no, but I think what you and Eunji have is much better than many other kids have. You love each other differently. And no you’re not under the same address, but — that’s life.”
Jimin had to laugh. “That’s life? You didn’t know how to end your philosophical thought, right?”
Hoseok smiled and shrugged. “Maybe — kind of lost the thought in the middle there. I’m just saying you’re fine, she’s fine. I know you want to be a perfect dad, but even without having kids of my own I know that’s impossible.”
“Yeah.”
“It would do you good to open your life a little, though. To look around, see who might be out there for you.” Hoseok raised those meaningful eyebrows again.
“I don’t know about that.”
“What are you going to do then? Wait until Hayun is eighteen before dating again?”
“No,” Jimin laughed. Though he wasn’t sure what he had planned, probably nothing. His life had been revolving around the cafe and Hayun.
“Dating with a kid isn’t easy, I get it. But it could give you something else to think about.”
“If anyone wants to date a single dad.”
“You’d be surprised.”
“But I’m more into men, remember?”
Hoseok laughed, but when he looked towards the sea he fell quiet and his face lost all colour.
“What?” Jimin turned his eyes towards where Hayun was — except Hayun wasn’t there, the floatie was floating towards the shore on its own. This was the stomach drop of the century. “No.”
He almost lost all feeling of his limbs as he threw his towel to the sand and ran back into the sea, wading in and trying to see Hayun in the sun dappled water. But she was nowhere in sight.
“Hayun-ah!”
Jimin walked around the area they had swam in, the water splashing around him from his hasty movements, trying to paddle it out of his way with his hands as if it could have done something to help. He hoped Hayun was just diving for a moment, but when seconds started stretching and there was nothing anywhere, he started to feel the panic set in fully.
With trembling hands and tears springing to his eyes he continued searching. He dove below the surface a few times, but without any goggles the salty water stung his eyes and he couldn’t really see properly.
“Hayun-ah!” Jimin shouted in a sob when he broke the surface. ”Hyung, I can’t find her!”
All of his worst fears were realising themselves in front of his eyes and he had never felt so helpless. Hayun was nowhere to be seen and Jimin’s heart seared with the worst pain he had ever felt before in his life.
“I’m calling the ambulance!” Hoseok shouted, a phone over his ear already, his face mirroring the terror Jimin was living through. But then his eyes widened and he pointed frantically towards the middle of the beach, at the water’s edge. “Jimin! Over there!”
Jimin whipped his head in the direction. There, about fifteen or more metres from them, the sea had spat out something that looked a lot like Hayun. Jimin had to let his eyes focus on the thing for a few seconds before his panicked brain registered Hayun’s swimming suit. It was her.
“Oh my god.” With tears blurring his vision, he ran out of the water faster than he’d ever done before and sprinted towards where Hayun was lying on her side. “Please be okay, please be okay, please be okay,” he whispered under his breath with every step. And once he got to her he slid into the sand on his knees.
She had a pulse. Jimin removed her swimming goggles and tried to get his own body to stop trembling enough to be able to give a few firm pats to Hayun’s back, so that any water would get out of her lungs. When she started coughing, Jimin felt like it was the first time in the past however many minutes he had breathed too. He scooped her into his arms, making sure any remaining water would be able to come out and held her close.
“You’re okay, baby, you’re okay. Oh god, you’re okay.”
Hayun coughed a few more times, then she started crying. And Jimin gently rocked her, closing his eyes and thanking whoever gave her back to him and swearing he would never let this happen again, with tears silently rolling down his cheeks. In the middle of his silent prayer, he could somewhat hear Hoseok running to him.
“The ambulance is coming. Is she okay?”
Jimin felt a hand on his shoulder. He opened his eyes to look down at Hayun, who was still crying, but looked a little calmer and breathed better. “I think she’s okay,” he said and couldn’t stop crying himself.
“Are you okay?”
Jimin bit his lip and shook his head. He wasn’t able to talk right now, he just needed to hold Hayun and feel her heartbeat.
“Okay.” Hoseok crouched down next to them. He ran his hand through Jimin’s hair, then touched Hayun’s head. “Maybe we could take her up to the cafe and wait for the ambulance there.”
It was good hyung was there, knowing what to do, because Jimin wasn’t able to think.
“Yeah, okay.” Jimin tried to stand up with Hayun in his arms, but his legs felt wobbly and powerless. “Give me just a minute.”
Hoseok draped a towel over Jimin’s shoulders and together they wrapped one around Hayun. When he finally managed to get up with Hoseok’s help, he looked towards the sea, the thing that nearly took his little girl, and saw something disappear under the surface in the distance, glittering in the rays of the setting sun. Maybe it was a porpoise, maybe it was nothing, just a wave.
“I’ll just grab our stuff,” Hoseok said and hurried to where they’d dropped everything.
The beach was surprisingly empty, they were the only ones left there even though the weather was still fine and there was light left. Jimin felt slightly like floating somewhere, not entirely inside his body.
“Dad,” Hayun said with a small voice and Jimin lifted her into a better position in his arms.
“You’re okay, baby,” he repeated and kissed her forehead. His legs still felt like they might turn to jelly at any point so he didn’t rush.
”The sea dragon saved me.”
“Hm?”
“I saw him and wanted to swim with him, but I couldn’t hold my breath that long,” Hayun continued explaining, her eyes widening with every word.
Jimin wasn’t sure what to say. Part of him wanted to scold her for being so reckless and going off on her own. But she was still only four and he should have had his eyes on her at all times, not getting distracted by anything. So he ended up blaming himself instead.
“You know I got really worried,” he chose to say. It was the understatement of the year, especially when his voice still had a slight tremble to it. “I couldn’t see you.”
“I was scared,” Hayun said against Jimin’s shoulder. “But the dragon helped me and I wasn’t so scared anymore.”
“Can you promise me not to do that again, not to disappear like that.”
Hayun’s lower lip jutted out and her eyes became watery. “I promise.”
“That’s good enough for now.” Jimin held her close, thinking he would have to go over the safety rules for swimming again at some other point in time. Now though, now he tried to focus on the fact that Hayun was in his arms, safe and breathing. And that was enough.
Hoseok explained to Seokjin what had happened once they got back to the cafe and worry filled their hyung’s face. Jimin didn’t think he had the capacity to talk about it, not wanting to live through the emotions he experienced, it was too soon for that. The ambulance came right after Jimin had managed to help Hayun change out of her swimsuit to dry clothes. The paramedics checked her condition, listened to her lungs, did some tests Jimin wasn’t too aware of at the moment, feeling too numb from everything. Luckily Hoseok was still there, this time telling the paramedics what happened.
In the end they asked if Jimin was okay and took his vitals as well, in case of a shock, they said. But nothing was amiss, Hayun was alright and Jimin needed a moment to process it all. So the paramedics left, saying Jimin should come to the hospital with Hayun if anything came up later. He might’ve agreed, but it was all very blurry.
By the time Jimin was also dressed and they were ready to leave, it was closer to eight. Hoseok had ordered them takeout into the cafe and all four of them had eaten together. Even if Jimin had barely any appetite. Seokjin decided to close up early instead of waiting until eight o’clock, perks of being one of the owners. Hoseok had agreed with the decision. Jimin probably nodded too when asked about it, but he wasn’t quite sure.
“Do you think you’re able to drive?” Hoseok asked.
“It’s already past Hayun’s bedtime,” Jimin said, looking around the staff room to see if he got all of her stuff. Hayun was currently with Seokjin, she was getting tired and Seokjin had said he’ll keep her company.
“That’s not what I asked.”
“I’m doing everything wrong today,” Jimin huffed, still searching around, but not sure what exactly. Maybe he forgot Hayun’s sunhat somewhere. Maybe it was still at the beach. Or maybe the sea took it. He couldn’t even remember if Hayun was wearing it when she went under.
“No, you’re not.”
“I have to tell Eunji about this. What if she wants to take her away, because I fucked up this badly.”
“Okay, now we’re spiralling. Jimin — “ Hoseok grabbed a hold of Jimin’s shoulders, stopping him from circling the room again, and turned him towards him. “This could’ve happened to anyone. This could’ve happened to Eunji too. You’ve known her for years, she’ll understand.”
Jimin stared at him for a moment. “I don’t think I should drive.”
Hoseok flashed an empathetic smile. “Yeah, I don’t think so either. So give me the keys.”
At that moment the past few hours shot through Jimin’s body and he gasped. “Oh god, I almost lost her.”
“But you didn’t.”
“I almost did. All she does is talk about this dragon and I’ve never felt so scared in my life.” Jimin felt himself shaking as if he was still cold in the water instead of being warm and dry. He was blinking away tears, again.
Hoseok started rubbing Jimin’s arms. “That’s the shock, I think. What a day, eh?”
A wet laugh escaped Jimin’s lips. “What a fucking day.” He was sure he had received hugs for a lifetime in just one day, but Hoseok hugged him one more time.
“Let’s get going then.”
Hayun was almost asleep in Seokjin’s arms when Jimin finally got himself together and was ready to go home. Jimin took her into his own arms, careful not to stir her from the slumber and accepted a quick hug from Seokjin too. He was going to stay at the cafe and make sure everything was as it should be for closing so that Jimin and Hoseok were free to go.
Jimin sat in the backseat, with Hayun falling asleep next to him in her booster seat while he held her hand. If the trip back home would have been any longer, he might have fallen asleep too.
“We’re here,” Hoseok said quietly as he parked Jimin’s car in his driveway.
“Thank you, hyung,” Jimin said, sounding sleepier than he realised. “How will you get home?”
“Jin hyung will pick me up — and no, don’t say anything,” Hoseok added while looking back at Jimin through the rearview mirror.
“I wasn’t going to.” Although Jimin was smiling.
They got out of the car. Jimin tried his best not to wake Hayun when he lifted her from her seat into his arms again.
“Are you going to be okay?” Hoseok asked before Jimin went inside. “I can stay if you need me to.”
“No it’s okay, you’ve helped a lot already. I don’t know what I’d do without you, honestly.”
Hoseok waved his hand, looking awkward as usual when Jimin got too emotional about how much Hoseok meant to him. “Ah, don’t mention it. I just love you too much, you know that.”
“Yeah. I love you too, hyung.”
“That’s already twice in one day, we’re getting soft in old age,” Hoseok chuckled. He was only a year older than Jimin.
“Old age.” Jimin huffed. “Maybe you, but I’m still young.”
Hoseok ended up helping Hayun’s bag inside and then he left with another quick hug.
Once it was quiet again, Jimin stood in the living room for a moment, swaying side to side with Hayun in his arms. He decided he’d call Eunji tomorrow, when he would hopefully have some emotional distance from what happened today. It was still too raw, still too on the surface, he might just break down and scare Eunji too before he even got to the part where Hayun was okay.
There was also the reluctance in letting Hayun out of his sight. So he took her to his bed, set her down on the available side where Jimin didn’t usually sleep on, and made sure she was comfortable enough and had her favourite bunny plushie with her to hug.
Jimin wasn’t sure when he fell asleep himself, maybe in the very early morning hours, after watching his daughter sleep calmly, listening to her soft breathing.