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Wolf girl

Summary:

The sheep had been devoured. There was no other way to put it. They were gnawed down to the bones and even those were snapped and cracked like they’d been crushed with great force. All that remained of the poor animals was the blood dried on the long grass and a few scattered bone fragments. The farmers chalked it up to wolves, but they’d never seen a wolf pack eat prey in such a gory, destructive fashion before.

But if it wasn’t the wolves, what else could it possibly be?

Loid, a young farmhand in a quiet village, accidentally stumbles across something dangerous and otherworldly in the woods. Something he can't look away from.

Notes:

see the cover and art for this fic

shout out to christianity for making sheep farming virtually impossible to research online.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Luwen, despite being a small town that hugged the border, was known for a lot of things. Beautiful, picturesque pastures that jeweled the countryside. Thick forests acting as a natural wall between Westalis and Ostania. Brutally cold winters that rivaled arctic frost. But the first thing that came to mind when the people of Westalis thought of Luwen was sheep. A rumor said that the ratio between sheep and humans in Luwen was twelve to one and possibly even higher than that.

Wool and mutton were the pride and joy of Luwen and thus the sheep were cared for like the citizens’ own children. When night came, fires and night watches were set all across the pastures and the farmers guarded their herds until morning. The forests, while beloved, were home to no shortage of predators and the sheep, while well-cared for, were stupid, fat, and slow. The farmers took no chances.

That is why one early morning, panic bubbled across one of the pastures when a farmer discovered two sheep missing from their flock. Farmhands spread out in a hasty search for the missing sheep. Fortunately, they were quickly found. Unfortunately, the state in which they were discovered was less than ideal.

The sheep had been devoured. There was no other way to put it. They were gnawed down to the bones and even those were snapped and cracked like they’d been crushed with great force. All that remained of the poor animals was the blood dried on the long grass and a few scattered bone fragments. The farmers chalked it up to wolves, but they’d never seen a wolf pack eat prey in such a gory, destructive fashion before.

The next night, two more sheep went missing. Another after that and then another. In the morning, farmers would count their sheep with apprehension, fearing that they too would find some of their flock shredded and torn. Still, the farmers blamed the wolves although they all came to a secret understanding that they were not the cause. There was just no way.

But if it wasn’t the wolves, what else could it possibly be?

***

The people of Luwen described Loid Forger as sober.

It was not how one usually described a teenage boy on the cusp of manhood, but it was the truth. His parents died in an air raid when he was very young and for all of his formative years he was passed around neighbors, family friends, and distant relatives. Finally, when he was fourteen, they all decided that they’d put him in his parent’s unoccupied house until they figured out what to do with him. He’d stayed there all alone since then.

Perhaps in another life Loid Forger would’ve been like the other Luwen boys who threw rocks at the sheep on boring summer days or danced with girls every weekend. But he did not live that life, he lived in the one where he rode around town on his bike running errands for money and worked on the Sherwood farm during shearing and lambing season. It wasn’t uncommon for young people to have a job, everyone said there would be war soon and times were tough, but Loid Forger had seemingly worked every single day of his short life and every adult in Luwen felt bad for it. Such a life could only be described as sober.

Sylvia Sherwood especially took pity on Loid. She hired him so she could keep an eye on him; to make sure he was eating and such. She didn’t have to worry, Loid was the reliable sort and appeared to be healthy enough. She still paid him to keep watch over her herds some nights when there were wolves about.

It was on one of those nights when Loid found her.

It was on a night illuminated by a silver full moon and the howls of wolves echoed through the hills. Loid was perched on a stump-turned-chair by a fire that lit a beacon of orange light over the field. By his side was Bond, who appeared to be sleeping but the occasional twitch of his nose meant he was still at attention. Loid had found him as a puppy out in the forest one day and took him in without question. Bond wasn’t fast enough to be a herding dog nor was he mean enough to be a guard dog, but he was loyal enough to be a damn good companion to Loid. And that was enough for the both of them.

Loid clutched an old hunting rifle to his chest while listening for the howl of wolves. He’d heard the other farmers murmuring about how they were the ones to blame for the recent sheep killings, but he wasn’t sure he believed it. There were wolves around Luwen, but there would have to be a truly staggering amount for that much livestock to go missing. And wolves were loud. Yet all the nights when sheep went missing, the farmers didn’t report the barking or howling of wolves. They were quiet nights. Silent.

Silent like how it was right now.

Just to be safe, Loid got up to walk the perimeter of the field and whistled for Bond to follow. It was a bit stupid to be wandering around in the dark like how he was, but he felt compelled to go looking. His feet guided him past the quietly grazing or sleeping sheep and away from the reach of the orange firelight. His instincts whispered to him that there was something there in the darkness of the forest just beyond the pasture. He followed it.

He didn’t see her at first. She moved like liquid in the shadows, barely a silhouette in the moonlight. Instead, he could smell her. The strange, heavy musk of mud, trees, fur, and blood hung like smoke in the cool air. Bond, who never so much as nipped at anyone, not even grabby children who pulled on his ears, began to growl beside Loid. He froze in place, legs splayed wide and head bowed low, growling viciously at something in the trees. Bond’s unusual reaction made Loid’s blood instantly turn to ice. He peered into the forest where the dog was glaring, trying to find what had made him so scared.

After the smell came the sounds. They were deep, monstrous snarls and huffs of a creature that was too large to exist. It made the hairs on Twilight’s neck stand on end. He raised the rifle with quivering hands and pointed it into the darkness. He didn’t know how long he stood there, listening to the heaving growls and gulping in the earthy stench. He should’ve gone back to the safety of the fire where he could keep watch over the sheep.

But something inexplicably compelled him to venture a little further into the forest.

His feet moved like they had a mind of their own.

As Loid crept past the treeline, he realized the snarls he was hearing were more like heavy, colossal pants from a huge dog. All around him dirt and branches were torn up as if someone had taken a hoe and viciously attacked everything in sight. The stench of copper was even stronger now. It was then that Loid realized that the dirt was not only disrupted but wet with great drops of blood. A trail of it meandered through a path of trampled plants. With small, cautious steps, he followed it.

It was in a small clearing that he saw her.

The grass around her was slick with so much blood that the overwhelming smell of it almost made Loid gag. He would’ve mistaken her for a large felled log or a giant boulder had it not been for the fact that she heaved with every breath.

She was the biggest wolf he’d ever seen. Loid had never seen a bear for himself, but he’d seen pictures of them in books and was sure this wolf was even bigger than those. She lay curled up nestled against a tree that was only a third of the size she was. Her fur was as black as riverbed shale, but was matted and wet with blood. She panted with great effort, revealing huge teeth stained red.

She was also the most beautiful creature Loid had ever laid his eyes upon.

Despite this, his knees locked up immediately as soon as he saw her, but he couldn’t help the small gasp that escaped his lips. At the sound, the great wolf raised her huge head with a guttural snarl that vibrated in Loid’s chest. Her burning red eyes locked onto his and she raised her lips menacingly. Instinctively, Loid raised the hand not holding the rifle.

“Easy now,” he murmured although he was certain the wolf couldn’t understand him.

Bond had gone absolutely still, tail tucked between his legs.

The wolf snarled again, causing Loid to recoil slightly. She tried rising to her feet, but one of her back legs gave out when she put weight on it. She tumbled back to the ground with a whine. 

Loid was split straight down the middle. The rational side of him demanded that he turn right back around and leave the forest before the wolf figured out how to walk on three legs and hunt him down. If she reached him, she could easily eat him in two bites with her sharp teeth and long claws. Animals were their most dangerous when they were cornered and injured and this giant wolf was no exception.

However, the other part of him, the part that was enchanted by this beautiful creature, begged him to stay. Between each pant, the wolf whined with pain. Judging by the amount of blood splattered across the grass and trees, she would surely die soon. And what a shame it would be to let such a magnificent beast die.

He wavered back and forth, eyes trained on the wolf until she lunged at him again, snapping her teeth with a loud crack! 

The rational side of him won. The giant wolf was beautiful, but she was still a wolf. Surely it ran with a pack? And if the rest of the pack was as large as her, then he didn’t want to be anywhere near it. He slowly backed away, hand still raised, and Bond did the same. 

Another thought crossed his mind; the humane thing to do would be to put the poor creature out of its misery. If left alone, she would writhe in pain while she bled out for hours. The more he considered it, the more right it felt. He cautiously raised the rifle and trained the sights on the wolf. It would be easy putting a bullet through her head. All he had to do was pull the trigger.

He raised the rifle and the wolf ferociously gnashed her teeth again.

If he was a real man, he would kill the wolf. He’d never told anyone, but as soon as he had enough money, he was going to take a train to the city and enlist to be a soldier. Then they’d give him a gun and he’d be able to slaughter as many Ostanians as he could get his hands on. He was so eager that he was practically a soldier already. And a real soldier didn’t flinch at the idea of shooting a wounded wolf.

He set the sights on the wolf’s thrashing head. His finger hovered over the trigger.

Pull it, you idiot!

Beside him, Bond pushed his leg with a low whine, but Loid couldn’t bring himself to look away. The rifle suddenly felt like it weighed a thousand pounds and his arms quivered with effort.

C’mon! Pull the trigger!

Bond pushed him again with a louder whine this time.

It was so easy. Just the slightest curl of his finger and it would be done.

So why couldn’t he just do it?

The wolf made another attempt at rising on her wounded leg and lunged at Loid. She got so close he felt her hot, bloody breath on his face before she collapsed.

Loid dropped the rifle, turned around, and ran without looking back.

When he broke through the forest line with Bond on his heels, he ran past the grazing sheep, past the bonfire, past the Sherwood house, and down the road. He could still feel the wolf’s snarl in his chest, her breath on her skin. A shiver broke out across his skin and he ran even faster. He didn’t know where he was going, he simply moved, pushed forward by the pounding in his ears. 

He ran to his parent’s house–that’s what it was, his parent’s house, not his house–and staggered through the front door. He managed to make a few shaky steps before collapsing onto the worn run of the living room and curling up into a ball. It was unclear to him if the reason his body was shaking was to fear or exertion or something else, but he trembled just the same.

Loid wanted to cry. He wasn’t sure why, but he did. But he hadn’t cried since his parents had died and resolved back then as a little boy to never cry again. So he didn’t.

He laid there all night, shivering and not crying until he finally fell asleep.

***

The next morning Loid woke up feeling stiff and stupid. His neck cracked when he turned his head away from Bond licking his face and something in his back complained when he sat up. Light spilled from the front doorway where he’d left it cracked open last night. He groaned. There were surely insects that had gotten in last night.

Bond excitedly herded Loid up and to his food bowl where he sat down expectantly. Loid grumbled something while he filled it. The dog was getting too spoiled. Most farm dogs stayed outside and ate whatever they managed to hunt and kill. 

Now that he was actually up and awake, memories of last night flooded through his mind. Recalling it now felt surreal; the huge wolf and the stench of blood, but now in the daytime he couldn’t be sure if his brain wasn’t playing tricks on him. Even though Westalis didn’t have bears, maybe a circus animal had escaped and gotten injured? Or maybe it had been a regular sized wolf and his eyes had tricked him in the dark.

Or maybe there was no wolf at all, only a scared boy making up stories.

Either way, his rifle was gone and he needed it back immediately. Sometimes instead of being paid in money, he asked Ms. Sherwood to pay him in bullets and he’d spend any free time he had practicing shooting. The old rifle had belonged to his father and was nothing like what the military used now, but it was something. War was coming and he wanted to be the first on the front lines when it arrived.

After breakfast, he set out back to Sherwood farms. Because he ran home like a spooked chicken last night, he’d left his bike propped up against the main gate at the Sherwood’s and he had to walk the whole way there. With Bond trotting alongside him, he replayed the memory of the snapping wolf over and over in his head while he walked. It definitely wasn’t real. He’d made the whole thing up, he decided. Giant bear sized wolves weren’t real and he was just being a child about the whole thing. He needed to grow up.

He didn’t feel like explaining to Ms. Sherwood why he’d suddenly upped and disappeared last night, so he cut across the field away from the workers and headed straight into the forest. As soon as they made it past the trees, however, Bond froze up again.

“Bond?” Loid asked him, “What’s wrong?”

The dog stood still for a moment, nose twitching in the wind, before burying his snout into the grass and walking with purpose into the forest.

“You catch a scent, Bond?” Loid asked. Sometimes Bond caught the trail of a squirrel or a rabbit and would follow it. In response, Bond huffed and continued walking.

Loid wasn’t sure what he expected Bond to find. They’d ventured further and further into the forest, led by whatever scent the dog had caught. They passed a few broken branches and trampled plants here and there, but Loid tried to dismiss it. What he’d seen last night wasn’t real. 

But then he found her. The girl.

Bond broke out into a run and dashed straight into a clearing covered by black dried blood. When Loid followed after him, he tripped over something hard in the grass and fell with a curse. It was his hunting rifle. He scrambled to his feet, looking for the matted fur in the grass but instead found Bond barking over something else, something much smaller under a tree.

He saw her hair first; long and wild, the same black that had plagued his nightmares last night. It made her skin, which was as white as a cloud on a summer day, even paler. Loid had never seen skin so pale, she looked like she was dead. Most alarming of all, though, was the blood. She was as naked as the day she was born, but flaking brown blood clung to her body like wet clothes. Her face was partially obscured because she was curled on her side, but he couldn’t have been older than him.

Bond barked again, breaking Loid out of his stupefied trance. He cautiously nudged her with his boot. She didn’t stir. He leaned down and felt for a pulse. 

It was faint but it was there.

Loid quickly pulled off his jacket and wrapped it around the girl as best he could before hoisting her off the ground. It was harder than it looked. He’d always assumed from the films he’d seen that carrying a lady in one’s arms was a simple, chivalrous thing to do. It was not. He had to adjust his grip several times and lean against a tree once or twice to take a break. He didn’t have a plan of what to do, all he knew was that she couldn’t stay in the forest.

He jumped out of his skin when he heard someone call to him.

“Now what the hell happened last night, Loid?” Ms. Sherwood called as soon as she spotted him coming out of the woods. She was in the middle of watering the sheep. “Where’d you run off to?”

“M–Ms. Sherwood–!” Loid stammered. Her eyes drifted down to the girl in his arms and widened. “I can ex–”

“Good god, kid, what did you do now?” she hissed. She dropped the watering hose and trotted up to him while peeling off her work gloves.

“I–I didn’t do anything! I just found her like this!” he sputtered helplessly. Ms. Sherwood inspected the girl who lay limp as a corpse. “She’s still alive but I don’t know what to do.”

Ms. Sherwood pressed her lips in a line. “Get her in the truck, I’ll drive her back. We’ll have to fix her up in the house. The doctor won’t get here in time,” she ordered and swiftly turned back on her heels.

They drove back to the house with the girl laid down in the bed of the truck next to the water tank and her head in Loid’s lap. He winced every time Ms. Sherwood drove over a bump or ditch. The inside of her house was a complete mess. She had to shove a year’s worth of old newspapers and clutter off the kitchen table to make room for the girl.

“Boil some water, boy, and get me some clean rags,” Ms. Sherwood barked while she rolled up her sleeves.

Loid’s eyes darted back and forth around the messy house. He wasn’t sure if he’d find anything clean here, but he resolved to find something that would work.

For three tedious hours Loid hovered over Ms. Sherwood’s shoulder while she cleaned up the girl and patched her wounds. She looked like she’d been used as a chew toy for a pack of wolves. Long gouges and teethmarks were carved into her skin like brushes of bloody paint on a canvas. 

“Tell me what happened,” Ms. Sherwood muttered while she worked.

Loid looked up from where he was holding down a bandage on the girl’s shoulder.

“I found her in the woods,” he said simply.

“And what were you doing in the woods?”

He swallowed. “Just taking a walk.”

Ms. Sherwood looked up with a frown.

“If you’re going to lie, Loid, at least do it well,” she said. Loid glanced away, face warm.

“I dropped my rifle in the woods last night,” he confessed, “I was going back to get it.”

“And why’d you drop your rifle?”

He sucked in a breath. It was never any use lying to Ms. Sherwood, but how could he ever describe what he saw? She’d think he was crazy.

“I saw a wolf last night. A big one.”

“How big?”

His fists clenched. “Really big. As big as a bear.”

At this Ms. Sherwood pursed her lips. She thought for a long moment before muttering, “Maybe this poor girl saw the wolf, too.”

He nodded. “Maybe.”

They didn’t talk about the wolf anymore. Loid wondered if she believed him.

By the time they were finished, bandages covered nearly every inch of the girl’s skin and she was dressed in some of Ms. Sherwood’s old clothes.

“Give me a minute and I’ll clear up the spare bedroom,” Ms. Sherwood said while she washed her hands, “I’ll have to wash some new bed sheets. Give me your jacket and I’ll wash that too.”

“Um, Ms. Sherwood…” 

“What, boy?”

Loid looked nervously around the piles of dishes rotting in the sink, the months old laundry lying piled up in the hallway, and the tacky sheen across the floor.

“Is it…sanitary to keep someone with open wounds here?” he asked with a wince.

Ms. Sherwood scowled and her nostrils flared.

“What, shall we keep her in your parents’ house?” she said incredulously, “With a teenage boy as her caretaker?”

“I–I–I have no dishonorable intentions!” Loid quickly stammered, “It’s simply that she could sleep in my–my parents’ room which already has clean sheets!”

Ms. Sherwood glared at him behind her spectacles as if she was picking him apart in her mind, piece by piece. He squirmed under her stare.

“I’ll clean her bandages every few hours and make sure she eats when she wakes up!” he added, “I’ll go to town to buy some medicine and–”

“Good riddance, fine,” Ms. Sherwood relented with the wave of her hand, “I’ll give you some medicine, don’t waste your money. Help me put her in the truck. And grab your bike, too.”

And so Loid found himself standing alone in his parent’s room with the girl not thirty minutes later with a little paper bag full of medicine. The girl hadn’t stirred once while they patched her up or drove her to the house. She lay on his parents‘ bed, still as a rock.

With a fully extended arm, he checked for a pulse again. Thready but stronger than before.

Okay. That was good.

Somehow, even more tentatively he hovered a hand beneath her nose. Faint puffs of warm air washed over his skin. He quickly recoiled his hand.

Still breathing. Good.

He chewed on the inside of his cheek. He’d insisted that she stay here with him but now he didn’t know what to do. Did he stay by her side? Or was that creepy? Did he make her food? Go about his day and just check up on her later?

He decided to clean up. Yes, the house was worlds cleaner than Ms. Sherwood’s but Loid was so worked up with anxiety that he didn’t know what else to do. He slapped away any nagging thought that said he was cleaning up to impress the girl when she woke up.

He washed every article of clothing he owned and hung them up to dry. Scrubbed all the pots and pans in the kitchen before sweeping and mopping twice. Arranged and rearranged the extremely sparse decorations around the house.

Bond eyed him lazily from his favorite napping spot on the living room rug.

“What?” Loid asked defensively. The dog only huffed.

Finally, when there was nothing left to do, he collapsed onto the couch beside Bond. His shoulder ached from where he’d slept on it on the hard floor. It’d hardly been restful. He rubbed his eyes.

Truthfully he was itching to do something; go see if there was a job in town or find some work on the Sherwood farm. Of course, if Ms. Sherwood saw him now, she’d give him an earful and send him straight back home. 

But to do what?

His mind was spinning. What else was he supposed to do? He laid his head back, closed his eyes, and thought and thought and thought.

Then, before he realized it, he’d fallen asleep.

He woke up with a start to the sound of Bond’s claws tapping excitedly on the hardwood flooring. Loid jumped to his feet, a red mark on his cheek where he’d laid his head on the couch lining. Early evening sunlight streamed through the open windows of the living room which let in a cool breeze. His eyes then found Bond who was happily circling around someone in the hallway in the hopes of getting pets.

The someone was the girl.

Her complexion had regained some color, but she walked with an obvious limp and had to hold the wall for support. She was in the process of frantically whispering to Bond to quiet down, which he obviously ignored. 

“Hello,” Loid managed without stammering. 

The girl went ramrod straight as if she’d been shocked. Slowly, she looked up to see him staring back at her. What little pink she’d regained in her cheeks drained away immediately. Internally, Loid panicked.

“It’s alright, I’m not gonna hurt you,” he said quickly like she was a scared sheep, “I found you in the woods and we patched you up. You’re safe here.”

The girl threaded her fingers together nervously.

“Thank you,” she muttered shyly, “I–I’m terribly sorry to have bothered you, I’ll be on my way now.”

With her mind made up, she pushed past Bond and headed straight for the door.

“Wait a second, but you’re still injured!” Loid protested. She was limping hardly faster than a walk and it looked like it took great effort but she viciously shook her head.

“I’ll be fine, p–please don’t worry about me!”

“It’s really no trouble, your injuries were pretty bad.”

“I–I feel fine, I promise.”

“You can’t possibly feel fine, you lost a ton of blood.”

“But I am fine, so I can go now.”

Loid helplessly followed her to the front door, unsure if it was out of line to insist she stay. Even Bond seemed to be trying to herd her back into the house.

He clenched his fists. “Well, at least stay the night and–”

“No!” 

Her response came so quickly and so loudly that he jumped back. The girl looked just surprised at her outburst as he did.

“I–I mean, no, I don’t need to s–stay the night,” she repeated, “I need to be on my way before dark.”

With that, she pulled the front door open and strode outside the best she could on an injured leg. Loid shared a conflicted look with Bond before trotting after her.

“Why don’t you want to stay?” he asked, “You can sleep in my parents’ room. If it makes you feel better, you can lock the door from the inside.”

She hobbled down from the front porch, looked around, then headed straight to the woods.

“I just can’t, she said, “I couldn’t possibly intrude on your parents anyway.”

“You won’t intrude on anyone. My parents are dead. It’s just me in the house.”

She paused and looked at him. Sympathy flickered across her features before reverting back to determined resolve.

“I’m terribly sorry about your parents, but I’ll be fine. I’m telling you that you don’t need to worry,” she insisted.

“It’s going to be night soon. The forest is dangerous after dark,” Loid pointed out, “Stay the night and you can leave first thing in the morning if you’d like.”

“No, I have to go now. I can't wait until night,” the girl said again.

The back and forth continued until they reached the treeline. Finally the girl spun around and stared hard at him.

“Listen, I appreciate the offer, but I need to go,” she said, “I feel much better now. Thank you for everything.”

She held up a hand like she was ordering a dog to stay put while she climbed over the low stone wall and into the forest.

“Don’t follow me,” she added over her shoulder before completely disappearing into the brush.

Loid stood, completely bewildered, staring into the forest where the girl had gone. Ms. Sherwood was going to burst a vein yelling at him for being stupid and letting an injured girl walk into the forest alone, but she’d been so insistent that he was helpless to stop her. He lingered a little longer, straining his eyes and ears for any sign the girl needed help. When there was none, he reluctantly turned back to the house with Bond in tow.

At first he tried to forget it. He concluded with a huff that if the girl was so desperate to die at the hands of wolves then who was he to stop her. But that night sleep escaped him at every turn. He tossed and turned, thinking about the girl alone in the woods and the giant black wolf. His mind replayed the images of her covered in blood and the wolf snapping at him over and over until he gave up sleeping completely. He sat on the couch where he could see the woods from the window, watching and waiting for the girl to magically appear.

At first light of dawn, Loid leapt to his feet, shoved on his boots and jacket, grabbed the rifle, and headed straight to the forest.

The woods were still dark. Dew soaked through his socks and a shiver ran across his skin. It was always so chilly in the early morning. His fingers wrapped around the cool wood and metal of the rifle were freezing. Loid tried retracing the steps he saw the girl take the evening before, however the longer he walked, the less confident he became. 

Just as he was about to give up, he caught that familiar musk of blood and earth lingering in the air. His pace quickened, stumbling over bushes and pushing aside low branches. It was stupid to chase after the giant wolf, but he kept imagining the girl desperately trying to limp away from its huge teeth. This time he wouldn’t hesitate pulling the trigger. 

His eyes caught on a large shuffling shadow in the distance. Loid scrambled behind a tree and held his breath. Sure enough, under the song of waking birds were the low huffs of a huge, injured animal. He dared to take a peek.

The giant wolf was limping so slowly through the forest that she swayed back and forth with every step. Wrapped around her torso and legs were torn strips of fabric as if she’d run through a clothesline and gotten tangled up in someone’s laundry. Orange and yellow morning light filtered through the trees and illuminated her glossy black fur. She was lumbering away from Loid, showing off her powerful shoulders and muscles that rippled with every movement.

Loid couldn’t help but try to get a better look. With his rifle clutched close to his chest, he ducked his head low and tiptoed closer to the wolf. His boot caught on an exposed root and ripped, causing him to stumble. With a cringe, he looked back to the wolf, but she was too preoccupied to notice.

Her breathing had become more strained, now coming in laborious heaves. She collapsed to the forest floor in huge, shaking gasps. Her long legs crumpled in on themselves and her head tucked against her chest.

When Loid crept closer, she began to change.

Before his very eyes, the wolf began to melt away like a block of ice in a pot of hot water. Her thick fur thinned and thinned until it disappeared, revealing pale blotchy skin. Her limbs shrunk into two lithe arms and legs that folded over each other. It happened so quickly that Loid thought that he’d imagined it, but when he blinked and rubbed his eyes, he saw the girl huddled on the ground, shivering from the cold. The shredded remains of Ms. Sherwood’s clothes and bandages hung limply around her body.

Before he could say anything, the girl’s eyes flew open and landed on Loid. She let out a piercing scream and scrambled backwards, desperately trying to cover herself with the sparse clothes she had left.

“Wait, no, I’m not gonna hurt you!” Loid quickly said. Cheeks burning, he took off his jacket–his remaining clean one–and offered it while looking away. “It’s cold. Take this. Please.”

For a long moment, he heard nothing except for birdsong. Then he felt her tentatively take the jacket.

“Are you alright?” he asked, still looking away.

Nothing. Only the rustling of fabric.

“I’m not going to hurt you. You’re still injured,” he added.

When she didn’t reply, he stole a glance at her. She was clutching the coat around her body and staring at him with wide eyes.

“I’m a wolf,” she said simply, her voice hoarse.

Loid’s eyebrows pushed together. “Yes, I saw that, but you’re still injured,” he said while carefully eyeing her bleeding neck, “I can help you reapply your bandages. We should probably wash your wounds, too. Have you eaten?”

“Y–You just saw me transform from a wolf,” she stammered in disbelief.

He swallowed. “But you’re human now so…” he trailed off, unsure what else to say.

“Aren’t you scared of me?” she asked quietly.

A part of him was. It was terrified of the wolf, terrified of this girl, terrified of what she could do to him. But from the moment he’d seen the wolf, he’d simultaneously felt a sense of overwhelming awe and reverence, like she was his very own lightning he’d captured in a bottle and wanted to study forever.

“No,” he murmured, “Not at all.”

***

The girl sat at the kitchen table while quietly petting Bond who happily rested his big head on her lap. She was wearing some of his clothes which hung slightly too baggy on her frame. Distantly, Loid remembered the older folks in Luwen grumbling that women wearing pants was a sign of the end times, but it felt even more indecent to have her walk around naked. He ladled out two portions of hot soup from a pot on the stove and handed a bowl to her.

“I’m Loid,” he said carefully, “What’s your name?”

She bit her lip. “Yor.”

Loid nodded encouragingly. “Where are you from, Yor?” he asked.

The girl blew on a spoonful of soup and ate it. Much to Loid’s relief, she smiled softly and ate another bite.

“Where am I?” she asked instead of answering.

“Luwen. We’re right on the eastern border,” he said, “You’re lucky you didn’t end up in Ostania. It’s just on the other side of the forest.”

“Luwen?” she asked. “Am I in Westalis?”

“Yeah?” Then Loid froze and narrowed his eyes. “Are you Ostanian?” he asked suspiciously.

“N–No! No, I’m not, I’m just–I just was making sure,” she sputtered.

Loid watched her for a moment longer then resumed eating his soup.

“So where are you from?” he asked.

Yor pushed around some of the potato and carrot chunks in her bowl before saying, “I’m from, um, away from here. Hugaria.”

“Really? You don’t sound Hugarian,” Loid said.

“My parents were Westalian,” she explained quickly, “So I don’t have an accent.”

“Oh. Then what are you doing here in Westalis?”

She hesitated again. “Some weeks ago,” she said, “I was walking home from work one night when some men attacked me. I’d managed to fight them off–”

“Fight them off? You?”

“I, er, know a lot of self defense, it doesn’t matter. Anyway, I fought them off, but then one of them stabbed me with some sort of needle and it knocked me out,” she said somberly, “When I woke up I was in a strange lab and the scientists…they injected me with drugs. It was awful.”

She shuddered and squeezed her eyes closed.

“I started changing into that monster. M–My body started transforming at night and I’d suddenly be so hungry I’d…I’d eat the poor goats and sheep they put in my cell. I couldn’t control myself.”

A sob cut off her voice. She buried her face in her hands and wept.

“But you’re not there anymore, Yor, you’re free now,” Loid said gently.

“No, I’m not!” she cried, “The scientists set me free in the forest one day and I thought it was over, but at night I turned back into that–that awful creature! Every night since I’ve transformed and eaten everything I could get my hands on; sheep, foxes, cows, pigs, dogs, cats—when I’m in that state, I can’t control myself. It’s only a matter of time before…”

She choked on the words.

“…B–Before I eat a human.”

The spike in brutal sheep deaths suddenly made much more sense to Loid, but seeing just how hard Yor sobbed with guilt he couldn’t bring himself to blame her.

“What happened two nights ago? Did you get attacked?” he asked. Yor nodded with a sniff.

“I got into a fight with a wolf pack over a deer carcass. They tore into my leg and I couldn’t walk or stand. I thought I was going to die. Maybe it would’ve been for the best if I did.” She apprehensively looked up at him. “I remember seeing you that night. I was so scared that I’d eat you.”

“I was too,” Loid laughed somewhat nervously. When her face fell, he added, “But you didn’t eat me, so it’s okay!”

His words did little to cheer her up. She picked at the rest of her food then set her bowl down and stood up.

“You can see why I can’t stay here or be anywhere near people. So I’ll go now. Thank you for everything.”

“Wait, hold on, you don’t know if it can be treated,” Loid protested, “There’s a real good doctor in just the town over. Maybe he can help you.”

“No, you can’t!” she said desperately, “They’ll lock me back up in a lab or shoot me. It’s best if I just go hide in the woods until…I don’t know, maybe this disease will cure itself.”

“But if you go out into the woods with those wounds you’ll die. Please, Yor.” He took a deep breath to stop his voice from squeaking which it often did when he was upset. “At least stay until you’re healed. Please.”

Her face turned the brightest red he’d ever seen on another human person. She sucked on her lip, the internal battle clear to see on display.

“If I stay, I need a place where you can keep me during the night. So I don’t hurt you,” she said sternly.

“Of course. The old barn should be strong enough to hold you,” Loid agreed, “I’ll board up the windows and reinforce the doors today. We can set up blankets and straw for you to sleep on.”

He quickly stood up to go searching for his toolbox. Ms. Sherwood had some spare planks that she’d be willing to give him. There was also some old furniture he could pull apart to make a barricade.

“If you’re hungry when you…you’re in that form, then maybe we can get some of the leftover bones and guts from the butcher. I know him. He’ll let me have them for free.”

“Wait, Loid.” Yor caught on his sleeve. “A–Are you sure about all of this?”

The answer was immediate.

“Yes. I want to help you, Yor.”

A moment.

“Why?”

That answer evaded him. Just as birds knew to fly south in the winter and squirrels knew to hide their food, Loid knew he had to help her. He was a boy who’d worked his whole life hoping to finally claw back the smallest bit of control of his fate. For once he was making a choice because he wanted to and not because he had to. 

Again he squandered the thought that he just wanted to impress the pretty girl.

“Because you need help,” he said at last.

Yor thought about it as if she hadn’t considered that answer. When she eventually accepted it, she did so with a nod and:

“What do you need me to do?”

***

Loid borrowed Ms. Sherwood’s truck and hauled some spare wood to the old barn on the edge of the property. The structure had been used when the land used to have sheep, but now it sat empty and abandoned by the forest. He’d insisted that Yor focus on resting, but she’d thrown a fit at the idea. They reached a compromise that she held the can of nails while Loid hammered the wood over the windows and doors.

Yor didn’t exactly seem the talkative type and neither was Loid, so they worked to the sound of his little portable radio. It was probably the fanciest and newest piece of anything that he owned and he took it anywhere he could. It churned out tinny music until the host read out the daily headlines. With a grave tone, he announced that government agents had detained a man suspected of stealing documents pertaining to the Westalian military to give to the East. Loid paused hammering and listened, hands on his hips.

“Absolutely despicable, those bastards,” he spat, “Leave it to the Ostanians to send spies after claiming they want peace.”

Yor shifted a bit on the stool where she perched. Bond had immediately taken to her and currently lay next to her feet.

“Th–They didn’t say he was a spy just yet. Maybe it was just a misunderstanding,” she said carefully.

“Huh, yeah. As if. I know Ostanians, Yor, you can’t trust ‘em,” he shot back with a snort, “It’s only a matter of time before we go to war, thank goodness.”

“You know them?”

“Of course. Everyone in Westalis does. We never forgot what they did. They killed my parents.”

Ostania and Westalis had been at war before. Loid could barely remember when they’d announced the armistice, but it hadn’t been in time to save his parents.

“Oh. I’m sorry,” Yor said gently.

Loid shrugged. “It’s not your fault, it’s the Ostanians’. As soon as I have enough money, I’m gonna take a train to Münk and enlist.” He tightened his fist. “Then I’ll be able to finally fight back.”

Yor kept quiet after that. Loid figured that, as a Hugarian, she wouldn’t really understand the feud between the two countries, anyway. After they were done, she excused herself to take a nap in his parents’ room.

That evening, Loid bid Yor good night and somewhat reluctantly nailed several boards to the barn door with her still inside. He tried to remind himself that she had plenty of blankets and a large dish filled with sheep bones, but it still felt strange locking a girl up like that. Bond worriedly sniffed at the doors while Loid worked and whined.

“Don’t worry about it, Bond,” he said soothingly, but he was just as anxious.

When he walked back to the house, he noticed there was someone waiting on the front porch. At the sight of him, the guest raised a hand and waved.

“Hey, Loid!” he called and lifted up a box in his hands, “Ms. Sherwood sent me to give this to you.”

“Hey, Winston.” Loid hopped up the porch stairs and looked inside the box. Inside was a few rolls of bandages, a bottle of medicine, and two jars of strawberry jam. “What’s all this for?”

“Dunno, she wouldn’t say. She would’ve come herself but one of the sheep got its head stuck in a bucket again and is putting up a fuss about getting it pulled off. So she sent me instead,” Winston said with a shrug. “I told her I’m not her errand boy but you know how well arguing with her goes…”

Winston was only a few years older and had worked on the Sherwood farm as a ranch hand for nearly as long as Loid had. From what Loid had heard, Winston’s family had been killed in the war like his and talked all the time about how he was going to enlist as soon as the truce broke. They weren’t close, but more than a couple times Loid considered telling him about his plans to enlist as well.

“Tell her I said thanks,” Loid said and took the box.

“No problem.” Winston put his hands in his pockets and grinned. “You know, me and some of the guys are gonna go to the pub tonight. You wanna come?”

“Ah…I can’t. I got watch tonight,” Loid muttered, “Maybe another time.”

Winston shrugged again. “Alright then. Maybe another time.”

Winston was about to turn and leave when a monstrous howl rumbled through the twilight air. He whipped his head in the direction of the old barn.

“Was that a wolf?” he asked, “That sounded close.”

Loid grit his teeth and looked at the nearly faded sunset. It was hardly night time. Was Yor’s transformation really that fast?

“Must be. I really need to go start up the bonfire at Sherwood’s then. They’ll be–”

There was a thunderous crash of something smashing viciously against wood. It smashed one, two, three times, each impact louder and angrier than the last.

Winston’s eyes were as wide as dinner plates.

“Wh–”

“Ms. Sherwood is keeping one of her aggressive rams in my barn. He gets quite destructive when he’s angry,” Loid quickly explained, “Perhaps he’s just reacting to the wolf howls.”

Winston eyed him warily before muttering, “If you say so,” and leaving. Loid breathed a sigh of relief while watching him go. He dared to peek around the house to the barn.

The barn doors jolted with another smash! and the wolf let out another angry growl. Thankfully the wood planks seemed to be holding her in regardless of how much she was throwing herself at them. Hopefully soon she would tire herself out and settle on chewing sheep bones instead. Loid really did have night watch at the Sherwood’s, though, so after double checking the integrity of the barn doors, he whistled for Bond and hopped on his bike.

Loid couldn’t sleep at all that night. He usually dozed off while on night watch, barely conscious enough to keep a hold on the rifle and wake at noise coming from the forest. He was exhausted enough from not having slept the evening before, but his mind kept wandering to Yor in the barn. He worried if she had managed to get out or if she’d hurt herself trying to break down the doors. Maybe she’d choked on one of the sheep bones or maybe one of the neighbors heard her howling and came to check it out. She’d been so terrified of accidentally hurting someone that the thought of it made Loid’s heart pound so hard in his chest that it hurt.

At first light, he kicked out the embers of the fire and got on his bike. Ms. Sherwood tried stopping him to ask him about the girl, but he stammered out a quick excuse and furiously pedaled home as fast as he could. 

When he turned onto his parents’ property, he found the farm to be completely silent. The morning brought a fog that silently rolled over the fields like wet smoke. Loid made his way to the barn which stood in the white mist without a sound. He cautiously circled the structure and found it to be intact. That was good. He pulled out a hammer, pried off the reinforced planks from one of the doors, and pushed it open.

A wave of stagnant air smelling of earth and fur hit him like a sudden rainfall, but the inside of the barn was dark and still. He took a cautious step inside.

“Yor?” he called, “You there?”

The wood floor was scratched to hell and back. Bits of sheep skin and bone fragments were scattered in disarray.

“Yor?” he called again.

He spotted a lump of blankets on a pile of straw in the back of the barn. As he drew closer, the blankets shifted a bit, revealing pale skin and black hair. He crouched down next to Yor and gently shook her awake.

“Yor,” he said softly, “If you want to sleep more, you can sleep in the house.”

Yor’s eyes fluttered open and for the first time Loid realized her irises were as red as a setting sun. She clutched the blanket to her chest and sat up in a daze, blinking and thinking.

“I made it through the night,” she said in disbelief, more to herself than to him.

“You did. And you didn’t hurt anyone,” Loid added with a nod. “Are you hurt at all? You were throwing yourself pretty hard against the doors last night.”

Yor raised up an arm and inspected it. Some of her old injuries had opened up and bled a bit.

“I don’t think so. Just a bit sore,” she muttered. She thought for a moment while looking around the barn before settling her gaze on Loid.

“I made it through the night,” she repeated again with a small, hopeful smile. “I didn’t hurt anyone.”

A grin stretched across Loid’s face before he could stop it.

“No you didn’t,” he said. He stood up and offered her a hand. “C’mon let’s reapply your bandages. I got some strawberry jam, too.”

Yor was probably the most polite person Loid had ever met. She insisted on waiting until Loid was sitting down with her at the table before she began eating. Despite urging her to rest, she helped him do the dishes. The phrases she used the most often were probably a straight tie between “thank you,” “I’m sorry,” and “please.” It was like she was not a wolf but a timid hummingbird fluttering about, unsure of where it was safe to perch.

“I don’t know how to repay you,” she murmured while he gently cleaned a deep cut on her arm with antiseptic after breakfast. Her healing was hindered by her nightly transformations, but she was still slowly getting better. 

“You paid me back by not eating me,” he said with a chuckle. Yor didn’t laugh, instead she looked rather guilty. 

“I’m sorry this is all such a hassle,” she murmured and for a moment he thought she might cry.

“N–No, it’s really not a hassle, please don’t worry about it!” he quickly assured her, but Yor didn’t seem convinced.

“It really is. I’ll make it up somehow.”

An awkward silence fell between the two of them. Loid began wrapping her arm in gauze.

“If it is a hassle, then it’s worth it,” he said quietly, “Because people are worth saving.”

If he could go back in time and save his parents or all the people who were killed in that bombing, he would in a heartbeat. Yor was no different.

“Even if she’s part wolf,” he added with a cheeky grin.

Yor’s cheeks turned a vibrant shade of pink and her eyes grew wide.

“And, for what it’s worth,” he continued, “Your giant wolf form is very cool. If you ended up eating me, I wouldn’t hold it against you.”

She gasped, scandalized, but a musical, bubbling laugh betrayed her disapproval.

“Loid!” she exclaimed, “Don’t even joke about that!”

“It’s true. It would be an honor.”

She slapped his arm in the same spot he’d just finished bandaging her. It was meant to be a playful gesture, but the sheer force of it sent him tumbling across the room and into the floor.

“Loid! Oh no, I’m so sorry!”

When he blinked away the dots flooding his vision, he found Yor crouching over him, her locks of black hair ticking his face. Her face was even redder now.

“Are you okay? Sorry, I…I don’t know my own strength,” she apologized.

“I guess being a wolf means you’re stronger than usual, too,” he muttered as he sat up. When she was still fretting over him, he waved her away with a chuckle. “Don’t worry about it, I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.”

That being said, when he biked to the Sherwood farm a little later, he winced when he accidentally brushed his arm against a fence. Yor vowed to make it up for him somehow before he returned home from work. But she also looked exhausted. It seemed like she hardly rested while in wolf form. Loid stifled a yawn himself. After today he’d sleep like a rock.

At the farm, he found Ms. Sherwood by the barn barking out instructions to some farmhands. When she saw him, she raised an eyebrow and scowled, hands on hips.

“You sleep in, Loid?” she asked, “Where’s the dog?”

“Sorry, Ms. Sherwood. Bond is watching Yor.”

“Yor? Is that the girl?”

Loid tugged on his work gloves and grabbed one of the pitchforks off the wall. “Yeah, her name’s Yor. She’s awake now.”

“How’s she doing?” she asked.

“Better. Her wounds keep opening up but at least they’re not infected, I don’t think.”

She hummed with thought. “Have you talked to her at all? Where’d she come from?”

Loid tightened his grip on the pitchfork. “She’s from Hugaria. Said she was kidnapped but eventually escaped and got attacked by wolves in the forest,” he said while fighting to keep his voice casual. Both of Ms. Sherwood’s eyebrows raised.

“Hugaria? Is that so?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

She studied him closely for a moment, although her expression wasn’t totally unkind. She was about to say something when Winston emerged from the barn with a bucket of water swinging in either hand.

“What’s this about a girl?” he asked cheerfully.

The unease dripping through Loid’s veins turned into a surge of panic at Winston’s question. He opened his mouth, to say what, not even he knew, but Ms. Sherwood interrupted him.

“Just some of the ewes giving Loid trouble," she said, “They can get fussy when they’re close to lambing.”

“That they can,” Winston agreed sympathetically before walking off to fulfill his duties elsewhere. Ms. Sherwood stepped close to Loid and put a hand on his shoulder.

“It’d be best if we don’t tell the other folks about Yor just yet. People are suspicious these days,” she murmured. Loid nodded his head vigorously.

“Yes, ma’am. I plan on protecting her the best I can,” he said.

It was Ms. Sherwood’s turn to nod. She patted his shoulder once, twice and let go.

“I know Yor’s pretty, but don’t do anything reckless, okay?” she said somewhat slyly. “Keep her safe.”

It would’ve truly killed Loid to admit how hot his ears burned, how his heart lurched in his chest.

“W–What’s that supposed to mean?” he stuttered.

She put her hands back on her hips and looked at him hard. “Just don’t do anything stupid.”

Before he could say anything more, she walked away, barking out more orders right and left. Loid willed himself to stop blushing like a schoolgirl at a dance and tried to distract himself by sifting through hay.

It didn’t really work.

It’s not like Yor wasn’t pretty; she was probably the prettiest girl he’d ever seen, it was just that…well, she was a wolf. The most beautiful wolf in all of Westalis, maybe even the entire world, yes, but she had her own issues at the moment. And he barely knew her. It was a little pathetic to have a crush on someone he’d only met two days ago. Loid cringed.

Ew. Crush? He really was turning into a giggling schoolgirl.

Alright, he liked Yor a little bit, but that was it. Neither of them had time to…to date or whatever. He was going to be a soldier, he would be fighting on the front lines as soon war broke out and he had to focus on that. And Yor had to get back to Hugaria, her family was probably worried sick…

She had a family, right?

Oh no; he didn’t know if she had a family.

He didn’t know anything about her.

His ears burned even hotter and he began sifting through hay faster and with more vigor. What kind of fool was he? So caught up with the wolf girl that he didn’t even ask her the basic questions. She probably thought he was an idiot. Well, she seemed very nice, so she wouldn’t think he was stupid, but she’d probably conclude he was a bit odd. Different. Unique. All the nice words the adults used when they wanted to call someone dumb and weird but not be mean about it.

In the late afternoon when he’d finished work, Loid wobbled home on his bike. He could smell himself and he wanted to bathe, but first he needed to ask Yor some questions. When he swung open the door, however, he was met with the stench of smoke in the hazy air. At the sight of him, Bond came bounding to the entrance on nervous, tapping feet.

Loid rushed to the kitchen where Yor was standing over a pot on the stove, face flushed with embarrassment. He fought the urge to cover his nose with his sleeve, but his eyes watered from the smoke.

“Everything okay, Yor?” he choked out.

“Loid, I’m so sorry!” she cried, “I just wanted to make a warm meal for when you came home but…”

He peeked into the pot. The interior was a massacre of burnt, blackened metal and thick, gray liquid with floating white chunks. For the life of him, he couldn’t figure out what in the world she’d tried to make.

“Well, I’m not exactly good at cooking…” she trailed off.

“It’s not too bad,” he lied. He took the wooden spoon laying on the counter and prodded the soupy mess. “...What is it?”

“Hard boiled eggs,” she said, “I took some from the coop, if that’s alright.”

Before he could stop himself, a snicker fell from his lips. He slapped a hand over his mouth. Stop it! Don’t laugh!

He laughed.

“Wh–What’s so funny?” Yor stammered. She clutched her hands close to her chest.

“It’s just–” he giggled (giggled?!),“Yor, how do you manage to burn hard boiled eggs?”

Her mouth quirked into a defensive frown. “I–I don’t know! It just happened!” she sputtered, “I lit the stove and next thing I knew the pot was on fire!”

Loid bent over laughing at the image of Yor somehow lighting water and eggs on fire. He tried assuring her over and over that it was fine, but every time he opened his mouth he only laughed more.

“It’s really okay,” he eventually managed while wiping tears from his eyes, “Nothing a little salt and pepper can’t fix.”

Although Yor’s cheeks still burned a furious red, she finally believed him.

Until he actually tried it.

No, a little salt and pepper could not fix whatever abomination Yor had created. With a weak smile, Loid took small, conservative bites of the slop and tried to ignore the concerning noises his stomach was making. Yor, on the other hand, devoured every spoonful like she hadn’t eaten in weeks.

“Yor, do you have family waiting for you in Hugaria?” he asked while pushing aside his bowl. She froze and Loid wished he’d phrased the question better.

“My brother is the only family I have left. But I haven’t seen him in almost a year. He’s studying at the academy in the capital,” she replied with a sad smile.

“The academy in Bädpest? Wow, he must be smart.”

She beamed with pride. “He is! He’s much smarter than me. He’ll be an important man one day.”

She looked down at her empty bowl then eyed Loid’s.

“You can have the rest of mine, if you’d like,” he said with a smile, “I’m still full from lunch.”

He absolutely was not. He’d sneak in some bread and jam after she was in the barn. Not needing another invitation, Yor happily took his bowl and resumed eating with vigor.

“What about you? Do you have any siblings?” she asked between bites.

“No, it’s just me. My parents died when I was a kid and I’ve been alone ever since.”

“Oh. I’m so sorry. You must’ve been so lonely.”

He shrugged. “A little bit, but what else can you do?”

Of course, he was understating it. He was terribly lonely, but he never allowed himself to dwell on it. There were more important things to focus on, jobs to work, a war to fight. His childhood was spent in spare bedrooms and mismatched chairs pulled up to full dinner tables; he had not belonged somewhere in a very long time.

They were both quiet for a long moment, suddenly interested in studying the grain of the kitchen table. Then Yor reached forward, her hand just a few inches from his.

“It won’t last forever, you know. The loneliness,” she said as if she could read his mind, “I hope…I hope one day you’ll find someone wh–who takes it away.”

Loid ignored the lurching in his chest and smiled.

“I hope you find someone, too. I–I mean, well, you have your brother, but–well,” he said eloquently, “You know, more people. To take it away; the loneliness. If you have it.”

Yor laughed quietly and tapped his hand with one long, elegant finger. He nearly jumped. Thankfully the long sleeves of his work shirt hid the gooseflesh that bloomed over his skin.

“We all have a bit, I think,” she said. Her smile glowed like the sunrise. “Thanks, Loid.”

They talked until sunset. The entire time and even after he’d said good night and nailed the barn doors shut, his heart soared like a bird in the sky. It was all pointless, he knew that. His time with Yor was temporary. Maybe one day, when he was a soldier and marched to battle, he’d think of Yor to keep himself company. He might even be stationed in Hugaria and then pay her and her brother a visit.

But until then, he’d enjoy her presence while it lasted. 

***

A week and a half passed like a stone skipping over water. Even things like shutting away a girl as if she were hostage and occasionally waking up to the sound of her howling and smashing against the doors could become habits. Things he shouldn’t have become accustomed to but did anyway.

Living with a wolf girl came with its learning curves, though. It turned out that Yor’s wolf-like hunger bled into her daily life. She’d devour anything he made her with such speed he was surprised she didn't choke. He’d insisted after the hard boiled eggs disaster that he didn’t mind cooking at all and if she really, really wanted she could make it up to him by doing the dishes. If he puffed up his chest with pride when she showered him with praise after he managed to make mushroom soup or fried potatoes to perfection, then only Loid knew.

Of course, the hunger could be disconcerting from time to time. The smell of raw meat seemed to send Yor into a frenzy. When he splurged a bit and brought home pork chops from the butcher, she stood over his shoulder the entire time he cooked. First, Loid was a stammering, blushing mess with the warm presence of her lingering so close. The embarrassment turned to concern when he realized she was completely zeroed in on the meat sizzling on the pan and hardly looked away once. Only when she successfully didn’t take a chunk out of his shoulder while cooking and happily ate her pork chop in three bites did he relax.

A few times during breakfast he noticed her staring down the few chickens he had in the yard. It was usually very easy to tell what Yor was thinking and then was no different; she wanted to take a bite out of those chickens and eat them while they bled. He cautiously waited, ready to stop her from leaping through the window and doing just that. But eventually she snapped out of her haze and asked him why he was staring at her.

But the thing that startled Loid the most was her strength. He’d insisted that she focus solely on recovering, but boredom was driving Yor insane. When he noticed the straw Yor slept on was becoming too mildewy, she jumped at the opportunity to help haul the new bales into the barn. His eyes nearly popped out of his head when she effortlessly picked up two bales tucked under each arm while clutching another one in both hands. She didn’t even open up a wound. Only smiled dazzlingly at him and skipped away with the straw.

When he’d lost track of his house key, she picked up every piece of furniture to help him look, from the couch to his parents’ full bed, with the ease of picking up a book. Or when he tripped over his shoe laces and she caught him in her arms without a second thought and placed him right side back up like a toppled lamp, cheeks blazing. Or how she once scaled to the top of the roof with a single jump and a flip to retrieve a dead branch that fell off a tree.

He could go on.

If human Yor startled Loid, though, then wolf Yor absolutely terrified him. Or thrilled him. He couldn’t decide. The old barn had proven capable of containing the great wolf time and time again, and, admittedly, she seemed to be less destructive and more content to gnaw on sheep bones all night as time went on. However, he failed to consider how the interior of said barn would hold up to the repeated abuse.

It happened one night just after he’d managed to fall asleep when a piercing shatter abruptly woke him back up. He sat up straight in bed and saw, through the shadows, Bond doing the same. It’d come from the barn, but it wasn’t the doors bursting open. It sounded like glass breaking and smashing into a thousand pieces.

Loid leapt out of bed, tugged on a shirt and boots, and rushed out the door with Bond close behind. The barn didn’t have glass windows; the only glass were the old oil lamps hanging on the walls. Yor must’ve finally knocked one over. He grit his teeth. She could hardly control herself when she was in that form; what if she stepped all over the broken glass and bled out during the night? Or what if the broken lantern spilled some oil and somehow she caused a spark? All of that fresh, dry straw would light up in an instant.

In the shadow of the barn, Loid briefly considered prying off the boards, but quickly decided against it. If given the chance, she’d run off at the first opportunity and then it’d be impossible to help her if she was injured. Beside him, Bond circled and paced, just as nervous as Loid was.

Loid spotted the window high above the barn doors propped open with an old dowel. It’d been open ever since he could remember. Vaguely he knew that it was supposed to help with airflow in the barn, however it was so small that it likely was more decorative than anything. But it would have to do.

As he dragged an old chair to boost him onto the barn overhang, he heard a low, dangerous rumbling coming from inside. His thundering heartbeat somehow quickened even further. This was really, really stupid of him. It was likely that Yor would tear him to shreds and eat up every last piece of him if he got even slightly too close. He’d peer in and assess the situation just long enough to make sure she was okay. That was the plan.

He pulled himself up onto the overhang without too much trouble. Bond’s pacing had quickened and now was whining with worry himself.

“I’m fine, Bond,” Loid whispered, although he wasn’t sure he believed it.

The window was just outside of his reach, even if he stood on the very tips of his toes. He cursed quietly. He’d always wanted to be tall, but for all of his formative years he remained a frustratingly average height. Supposedly boys could grow even into their early twenties, but he needed to be taller now. With a huff, he jumped as high as he could and wildly reached for the ledge.

His fingers almost slipped, but he managed to wrap them around the dusty ledge. He awkwardly pulled his torso up and through the tiny window so half of his body was in and out of the barn. After wiping away the sweat from his forehead and furiously blinking his eyes, he realized that the window did more than promote airflow. It let in light into the otherwise dark structure.

And his body was perfectly blocking all light he needed to see.

There was another, matching window on the opposing wall, but it faced the shadow of the barn, rather than the side cast in the faint moonglow. Loid cursed again, but much more quietly this time. The low, dangerous growling was much louder now that he was in the barn. The hairs on his neck stood on end.

While biting his lip, he tried leaning forward ever so slightly, hoping that a bit of light would make it past his torso. He felt a drop of sweat roll down his face and fall into the darkness. A tiny sliver of pale moonlight barely shone into the barn. He still couldn’t see Yor. He already felt himself dangerously pitching forward, but maybe he could lean in just the tiniest bit more…

The window ledge dug into his stomach while he leaned forward, forcing the taste of bile to rise in the back of his throat. More moonlight spilled into the barn, but it was quickly becoming apparent that he was running out of leverage. He squinted as hard as he could, desperately trying to make out any shapes in the darkness.

A sudden powerful and guttural bark from inside the barn startled him. In a split second, he realized, in complete horror, that he’d lurched forward too far and all his weight was rapidly sliding inside. He thrust his hands out, desperately groping the darkness for something, anything he could catch himself on, but he found only emptiness. He began to fall, face first.

Before Loid could even process his fall, his forehead cracked against something and his teeth snapped so hard together he instantly tasted blood. He bounced off whatever that was–maybe a support beam?–and slammed into a pile of straw that did not absorb nearly as much of his impact as he would've liked. After a moment of shock, pain ripped through his skull and spine like a bullet carving a bloody path through his body. He tried gingerly touching his head with a groan but found that his hand was already raised to his forehead, a new jolt of pain shooting through his head when his fingers brushed the sensitive skin.

A harsh growl that vibrated through his chest had him scrambling to his feet. Or trying to scramble to his feet. He stood up and immediately fell over as if he was drunk. He tried again, this time grasping whatever surface he could hold onto. The world pitched under his feet regardless and he found himself sprawled out on the straw.

What was he doing in the barn again? The pain in his head was making it hard to think.

A huff of hot, bloody air rushed over his face and he became all too aware that the growling had grown much louder, almost like whatever beast was producing it was standing right over him.

He opened his eyes, not having realized that he closed them.

Two huge red eyes in a sea of black fur glared back at him.

Oh, right. Yor.

He weakly raised his hands up in a sign of peace, but he doubted she could see it. Her giant face loomed over him so closely that his skin began to grow damp with her breath.

“Y–Yor…” he whimpered through clenched teeth, “It’s just me.” 

He squeezed his eyes shut, ready to feel her huge teeth, each the size of a dinner fork, sink into his flesh. He flinched at every shift in her weight, every catch in her growl. 

He waited and waited.

She was sniffing him. Her huge, wet nose pressed against his torso, neck, arms, and, most terrifyingly, face, greedily sucking in air in repeated short bursts. The wolf did this over and over, seemingly most interested in the warm blood he felt sliding down his head. Distantly, he recalled Yor’s affinity for any sort of meat, especially if it was still bloody, and winced in anticipation of her biting down on his head like a grape.

It never came. Instead, he felt a large, slimy sponge-like object drag across his face. A sticky sheen of liquid coated his skin. It was unpleasant, but much more preferable to biting. It happened again. And again. And again.

It took his foggy mind a long moment to realize that the wolf was licking him. Confusion slammed into him almost as hard as the beam had. Did wolves usually clean their prey before eating them? Or had she confused him for a clumsy pup that wandered into the barn? He remained still as a rock, hoping that whatever was going on would prevent him from being devoured. 

At last, she was satisfied with her handiwork. He felt her large nose press against him, sniffing and huffing, checking for more blood. When she found none, she lumbered away, each massive step sending a tremor through the floor. After a long moment, the crack of giant teeth snapping through sheep bones echoed through the barn as she resumed her nightly feast.

Even though the wolf hadn’t eaten him, Loid remained frozen on the straw, terrified that Yor might mistake him for prey if he moved. Each frantic heartbeat sent a jolt of pain through his pounding head. He wanted to get up and get out of the barn–what had he been doing here again?–but just the thought of rising to his feet made his stomach churn. Not to mention the massive beast devouring whole bones no more than twenty feet away from him.

For what must’ve been hours, Loid lay completely still, feeling sweat drip down his neck and listening to the grisly noise of the Yor eating. However, he couldn’t fight off sleep forever. He began slipping in and out of consciousness, the sounds of bones cracking and teeth tearing conjuring up strange dreams in his addled mind. Finally, the last thing he remembered before completely surrendering to sleep was the smell of earth and the feeling of fur against his skin.

***

To his immense surprise, he awoke, alive and still possessing all of his limbs several hours later to morning sunlight streaming through the high window. He was less surprised about the splitting headache and throbbing bump on his forehead, although it took him a long moment to remember how it had gotten there. After another moment, he realized he wasn’t alone on the pile of straw. 

Yor, wrapped in a thick blanket, lay curled up next to him, her face and shoulder pressing into his side like he was the only source of heat in the barn. He nearly jumped and rolled away with surprise. Unfortunately, the sudden tense in his posture was just enough to rouse her awake. Her eyebrows pushed together and her nose slightly crinkled with sleepy confusion. He helplessly watched her eyes flutter open and slowly meet his. Then they flew open and she sat up straight, clutching the blanket around herself.

“Loid?!”

Her outburst sharpened the pain in his head. He winced.

“Sorry,” he croaked, his voice still rusty from sleep. What he was apologizing for he didn’t know, but it felt like the right thing to do.

Her gaze caught on his forehead where there was probably a nasty bruise and he could see all the memories of the night before rushing back to her. Hesitantly, she reached out and, with the gentlest, most careful touch, she brushed aside his bangs to get a better look.

“Why are you here?” she asked softly, but concern laced every word, “I could’ve hurt you.”

Loid tried very hard not to let it show that he completely melted under her touch.

“I heard glass breaking last night and was worried you’d hurt yourself,” he explained, “I, uh, took a bit of a fall trying to get in through the window.”

If he squinted, he swore he could see a dent in one of the rafters above. Yor sighed, but, to his secret delight, she didn’t withdraw her hand.

“I remember hearing something fall. I think I finally knocked over one of the lanterns on the outside of the barn,” she said. Both of them looked around to see that the lamps on the inside were still intact. So Loid had walked right past the offending broken glass last night and didn’t even realize it. He frowned.

“I’m so stupid,” he muttered. Yor’s hand tensed.

“No, you’re not, just a little prone to overthinking and worrying,” she said with another sigh, “But it was very dangerous of you to come into the barn last night. We’re very lucky I didn’t eat you.”

“I didn’t mean to fall in, I was just going to check on you,” he grumbled, “All you did was lick my face.”

Yor’s cheeks reddened and she took back her hand, much to his disappointment.

“I–It took a lot of willpower to do only that. I was worried about how much blood I could smell on you,” she said bashfully. She absentmindedly tied two pieces of straw together in thought. “I have noticed that I go through periods where it’s easier to control myself than others. If I’m lucky, I might even not change at all. Though, it's only happened once or twice.”

He sat up on his elbows. “Really? When?”

“Oh, almost a month ago. And a month before then, I think,” she said with some thought. “Perhaps it’s only a monthly thing.”

Despite the pounding in Loid’s head, he thought hard. He remembered the night when he first encountered Yor in the forest, how she’d furiously snapped and lunged at him and last night when she’d merely licked his face. How the moon had been so bright all those days ago and how he’d had to strain his eyes to see last night.

“I think your transformation is tied to the phases of the moon, Yor,” he said, “Like the more full the moon phase, the stronger your transformations become.” 

Yor tilted her head with thought like a dog. Then her face lit up. “I think you might be right! Every time I didn’t transform, there was a new moon!” She leapt to her feet. “We need to find out when the next one is!”

With Loid in no shape to be on his feet, Yor easily somersaulted to the barn window and pried open the barn doors. When Loid limped out, he was nearly knocked over by a relieved Bond who’d waited all night by the barn. Only after they made it back to the house did Loid realize that he never told Yor where his hammer was and that she must’ve pulled the wood planks off the barn doors with her bare hands. He shuddered.

Over toast with jam and (correctly cooked) hardboiled eggs, they sat side by side combing through an almanac at the kitchen table. Loid couldn’t remember why he had it but was grateful he did.

“The next new moon should be in four days,” he read, “It’ll also be a good time to harvest tomatoes, apparently.”

“That’s so soon!” Yor gasped.

“Indeed.”

“We should celebrate!”

He paused mid chew.

“What’d you mean?”

“Y–You know…celebrate me being human,” she said, now a bit nervous, “We can do all the things I usually can’t do.”

“Like getting a full night of sleep?” Loid laughed. She laughed, too.

“Well along with that. But other things, like going star gazing or sitting around a campfire,” she said, eyes sparkling, “I’m usually so worried about the possibility of hurting others when night falls so it’d be nice if I could have just one evening where I can –”

A knock at the front door interrupted Yor. Irritation sparked in Loid’s gut, but he stood up and silently motioned for her to wait in his parents’ bedroom away from view. Early on they’d discussed that it would be better if no one else knew that Yor was here until her condition was cured. After she was sufficiently hidden, he opened the door.

“Hey, Loi–oh, man. What happened to your face?”

Loid self-consciously covered his forehead. “Winston, hey. Did Ms. Sherwood send you?”

Winston was wearing his work overalls and had his gloves poking out of his pockets. “Yeah, you’re really late and she’s been stomping around all mad about it. But I see why now,” he said, his eyes still on his covered forehead. Loid squeezed his eyes shut with a pained sigh. He’d been so relieved about surviving the night that he forgot he was working at the Sherwood farm today.

“I took a really bad fall this morning. Pretty sure I got a concussion,” he said.

“I can see that. Don’t worry ‘bout it, I’ll tell the boss lady you can’t today. She’ll be pissed but she’ll get it,” Winston assured him with a smile. He leaned to the side to peer past Loid. “...You got company over?”

“N–No, just me!” He quickly turned around to follow Winston’s gaze; he was looking at the dining table with two sets of plates and cups and the almanac still open. “I, uh, sometimes let Bond eat at the table with me.”

Ever the faithful companion, Bond trotted up to the front door and sat obediently next to Loid. Winston nodded slowly.

“Alright then, if you say so. Oh, before I go.” Winston leaned in closer like he was sharing a piece of juicy gossip. “Have you been hearing those howling and scratching noises lately? Sometimes when I’m walking home at night I hear them coming from your farm. I talked to some of the other guys and they’ve said the same thing.”

Loid swallowed. He had a feeling that claiming it was an angry ram wasn’t going to work this time.

“Can’t say I have. Might be wolves,” he said stiffly.

Winston hummed with thought but eyed him sideways. “Might be.”

With that, they exchanged somewhat tense goodbyes and Loid closed the door. He stood still, clutching the doorknob in his sweating palm for at least a minute, his mind racing. It wasn’t that Winston was a bad person, per se, but Loid couldn’t bring himself to trust him. Winston was the type of guy who, once he found a thread that intrigued him, kept pulling and pulling until the whole sweater fell apart.

“Who was that?” Yor whispered, her head poking around the hallway corner.

“Winston. The guy who works at Sherwood with me sometimes,” he said, then added with a chuckle, “You don’t need to whisper. He’s gone.”

She breathed a sigh of relief and fully emerged. Bond immediately circled her for pets.

“I only know what you’ve told me about him but he seems like trouble,” she murmured while rubbing Bond’s ears.

“He is, but don’t worry about it. Maybe he’ll let it go eventually,” Loid said, knowing full well that Winston wouldn’t. But Yor didn’t need to worry about that. “Let’s reapply your bandages before we forget.”

Yor put her hands on her hips and pouted. “I’m plenty well enough to do that on my own now. Go wash up and I’ll help you put something on your forehead.”

Loid raised an eyebrow. “You’re telling me what to do now? In my house?”

She didn’t back down. Instead, she pointed her chin at him, looking the most indignant he’d ever seen her.

“Yes, I am. Someone needs to take responsibility around here,” she said with as much authority she could manage.

They held each other’s stares for a beat before they broke into laughter. Neither of them could last long against the other, anyway.

***

Just as Loid feared, Winston didn’t let up.

He began stopping by the house every morning to check up on him. When Loid’s head healed, they started biking to the Sherwood farm together. Loid knew better than to think that his long-time colleague just happened to be getting friendly with him out of the blue. He knew Loid was hiding something and was probing. At work, Winston chatted with Loid at every opportunity to ask him about his day, what he’d been up to, if he wanted to hang out with him and his buddies, and so on. More than once Loid considered just throwing in the towel and confessing everything, but it was too risky. Winston would probably accuse Yor of being an Ostanian spy.

Loid had never been one to linger after work and chat with the other farm hands, but now he took off at the first opportunity. He only went into town to pick up groceries or run errands. Otherwise, he spent every free moment with Yor.

For a while, he was worried that he was bothering her or that she’d grow sick of his near constant presence. Boiling insecurity had become a permanent resident in his stomach, making itself known at the most inconvenient of times. But then one afternoon, while he and Yor lazed at the dining table after eating an entire sheet of sweet rolls he baked, she suddenly looked up at him with a radiant smile.

“You know, Loid,” she said, “I’m really glad that out of everyone who could’ve found me, it was you.”

A sudden, fiery flush raced through his skin from his ears to his toes. He tried for an easy grin to hide the fact that his heart had just skipped straight from his chest and flew out the window into the wide sky.

“Y–Yeah? What brought this on?” he asked.

Once again she blushed furiously but her smile didn’t budge.

“I–I don’t know. I guess I was just thinking about it. I really lucked out, didn’t I?” she said.

Loid knew better than to blurt out something stupid like Actually, I’m the lucky one or I would save you again in a heartbeat or even I wish you never had to leave, Yor. Instead, he only chuckled humbly and said, “Thanks, Yor, that means a lot.”

After that, he let himself enjoy Yor’s presence freely and without guilt as best as he could. He’d never allowed himself to have such a close friend before. Well, he’d never really had friends at all. A few friendly acquaintances here and there, yes, but time and circumstance had made it nearly impossible for a strong bond to form. But now Yor was here and she made up for every single lost friendship he’d suffered through his horribly lonely life.

Sometimes, when he was alone at night, listening to the faint sounds of shuffling coming from the barn and counting the shadows on the wall, he allowed himself to contemplate how Yor felt about him. He knew that Yor liked him as a friend but did she…you know, like liked him.

He wondered because lately he’d wait by the barn doors talking and laughing with her up until the very cusp of twilight, hoping to bask in her aura a little longer.

He wondered because while he cooked, she’d lean against the counter and keep him company, not because he was cooking meat again but just to be close. Sometimes she would hook his shoulder under her chin and watch him stir and measure.

He wondered because yesterday he confessed to her that the song on the radio was a favorite of his and she pulled him to his feet to dance. He’d felt like an utter fool, so focused on trying to keep up with her that he had to keep looking down just to keep from stepping on her feet. But when Loid looked up, Yor met his gaze with such fondness that he forgot what he was doing. It became clear soon after that neither of them actually knew how to properly dance and they settled on a warm embrace swaying to the music and he couldn’t recall a single moment in his life when he’d felt that happy.

Loid couldn’t even begin to describe how he felt about Yor. The constant burning sensation in his chest was overwhelming. Surely she had to feel the same way?

Yor was counting down the days to the new moon with barely contained excitement from the moment they made their discovery. However on the night of, her confidence wavered.

“M–Maybe I should still stay in the barn tonight. Just to be safe,” she said with worry as evening slowly approached.

“If you want to you can but I really think it’ll be fine,” Loid assured her. He was packing a small rucksack with sliced apples and rolls he’d bought earlier today just for this occasion. 

“You really think so?” she asked, voice quivering.

“Of course,” he replied, “And if you do transform, let me ride on your back. It sounds fun.”

“Loid!” she squawked. She slapped his arm again, this time with much more restraint. It still knocked the breath from him, but he laughed anyway.

“We can wait until it’s completely nightfall if it makes you feel better, but we’ll miss the sunset. We’ll do whatever you’d like to do, Yor.”

She bit her lip as she considered it. 

“Alright, we’ll go out,” she said at last, “But we’re heading back home if I feel even the slightest bit like I’ll transform, okay?”

“Okay, okay.”

Since coming to Loid’s house, Yor hadn’t left the property once save for her brief romp through the woods. They set out just before sunset while the golden rays warmed their backs. However, before they could even walk through the front gate, Yor’s eye caught on Loid’s bicycle leaning against the fence and she paused. 

“Loid…” she said somewhat bashfully, “W–Would it be selfish of me to ask one more thing of you?”

“Of course not. What is it?”

She shyly traced the rusted metal frame of his bike with a finger. “Could I ride your bike?” she asked.

“I mean, sure, there should be enough space for you to sit on the back,” Loid reasoned, “Although the lookout spot is at the top of the hill so I can’t promise I’ll be very fast.”

“N–No, I meant can I ride the bike?” Yor stammered, “And you sit on the back.”

The request completely took him off guard. He’d seen plenty of boys in town ride their bikes with their girlfriends clutching them from behind, a thought that already made him flush, but he’d never seen the positions reversed. Would it be improper to make the lady pedal while he held onto her? Common courtesy said yes, anyone who saw them would be scandalized. 

But it was also improper for a woman to wear denim pants or to be locked in a barn every night with a platter of sheep livers, yet here they were.

“A–Alright then. Go ahead,” he said as casually as he could manage.

Yor traced her finger to the handlebars where it hovered hesitantly.

“I’ve only ridden one once a long time ago. We never had money for a bike so I haven’t had much practice but I always wanted one,” she said, “I might need some help.”

“Oh, well you’re always welcome to borrow it whenever you’d like. Hop on, I’ll give you a push.”

She walked the bike to the road and hesitantly climbed onto the seat, feet barely brushing the ground. He placed one hand on her shoulder and another on the rear bike rack, just as nervous as she was for a completely different reason.

“Ready?”

He felt her shoulder stiffen.

“I’m ready!”

Loid started a slow jog down the road, kicking up a small cloud of dirt behind him. With shaky hands, Yor guided the bike in a wobbly line that bounced on bumps and rocks.  

“Start pedaling, Yor,” he instructed as they picked up speed. 

“O–Okay!”

Suddenly the bike was the one yanking Loid down the road. It almost tore from his grasp as Yor began pedaling with unmatched vigor. He stumbled over his feet trying to keep up. But before he could tell her to slow down, he heard Yor laughing with glee while her hair whipped in the wind like a black silk banner.

At this rate, she was going to bike to the next town over without realizing she was dragging Loid behind her. With the last of his quickly dwindling stamina, he pushed off his feet and onto the back of the bike. He landed somewhat awkwardly onto the rack and instinctively wrapped his arms around Yor for support. She let out a surprised squeak and, for a terrifying moment, the bike swerved dangerously close to the ditch on the side of the road. He began sputtering out apology after apology, completely unsure if he should just let go and allow himself to fall off the back, while Yor wildly overcorrected and lurched to the other side of the road.

“I–It’s fine! It’s really fine! Don’t let go!” she said frantically.

After several precarious swerves, Yor managed to straighten out the bike’s trajectory and settled into a rhythm of frighteningly strong pedaling. It took Loid much longer to loosen his apprehensive hold around her, although he suspected that if he squeezed her as hard as he could it wouldn’t injure her in the slightest. He gingerly rested his head just over her shoulder so they were cheek to ear. Warmth radiated off her skin and he knew it wasn’t from exertion.

“You’re doing well,” he murmured just over the sound of rushing wind. She leaned back and turned to him and her face was right next to his, their noses almost touching.

“This is so fun! Thank you so much, Loid!” she exclaimed. His heart trembled.

She was so close he could’ve kissed her.

She’d been close enough when they danced. When she looked over her shoulder to watch him cook. When he’d tripped and she’d caught him. It was an annoying fly of an idea, buzzing around his head and making itself known once in a while by flying right by his ear. He squashed it every time. Yor didn’t see him like that. She wasn’t going to stay. He couldn’t.

But seeing her, eyes gleaming and cheeks glowing, Loid wanted nothing more than to lean forward, to close that minuscule gap and…

And what? What would happen? What would that mean for them?

Hundreds of possible answers swirled in his mind, overpowered only by his overwhelming desire to kiss her. Whatever the outcome was, he wanted to see it. He wanted it. He wanted to kiss her.

Maybe he would have if she’d hadn’t jerked her head back to face the road when a rabbit suddenly sprinted across their path. She just barely missed it, much to their shared relief. It probably wasn’t smart to kiss Yor while she rode the bike; she’d only glanced back at him for a moment and almost crashed.

They arrived at the lookout spot in record time. The bike practically glided through the fields and over the bridges as if gravity was just a mere suggestion rather than a law of reality. Even when the path took an unforgiving upward incline, Yor showed no signs of slowing down. At the top of the hill, Yor skidded to a stop and gleefully hopped off the bike like she hadn’t just ridden fast enough to compete with a car.

“This place is so beautiful,” she muttered in awe.

They stood on a steep hillside covered in long grass that overlooked Luwen and the surrounding patchwork livestock fields. On the hazy horizon, Loid could see distant towns and buildings reduced to small shadows in the dying daylight. The sunset covered the world in a honey varnish so vivid that he could’ve reached out to the golden sky to scoop some up and taste it.

He spread out a blanket where they sat eating and talking about nothing important while the sun set. Loid laughed and bantered but he found it difficult to focus because his mind kept wandering back to when he almost kissed her. How he still wanted to kiss her. And the way she kept leaning close when they laughed and hardly looked away from him even when they had the entire Westalian countryside sprawled out in front of them; he couldn’t comprehend how happy it made him feel.

Despite this, Yor became jittery as night crept closer. She gripped the blanket in a worried fist when they noticed the first of the stars blinking into the sky.

“It’s not too late to bike back to the barn if you’re that worried,” Loid said, “especially with how fast you can pedal.”

“N–No, it’s okay. I really want to see the stars tonight,” she quickly said, although she didn’t seem convinced herself.

“If you say so.”

He chewed on the rest of his apple slice while she stewed, knees clutched to her chest. Her gaze traveled to the east where the wide forest swallowed up the sheep fields. If he squinted, he would see just a sliver of land beyond the trees where the horizon met the sky. 

Ostania.

“Loid?” he heard Yor say carefully.

“Yeah?”

She looked like she was about to burst into tears. He sat up with alarm.

“You…You know I’d never hurt you, right?” she asked.

“I know that, of course I do. Where is this coming from?” he said.

“I just need you to know that if I do hurt you, I don’t mean to. I never mean to,” she insisted, “You already mean so much to me, Loid, and you always will.”

He helplessly watched a tear slide down her cheek.

“Please, I never want to hurt you. I need you to know that. Please.”

“I know, Yor, of course I know,” he said again. He wanted to do something, hold her hand or hug her close, but his courage failed him. “I know when you’re transformed you can’t control yourself. I understand. I know you don’t want to hurt me.”

She remained silent for a good minute or two, her eyes transfixed on that little patch of land in the distance. 

“And what if I hurt you just as myself?” she whispered. 

He faintly chucked. 

“I don’t think you could.”

“You don’t know me,” she said miserably.

“I feel like I’ve known you my entire life.”

“You’re being kind.”

“I’m being honest.”

He was. He was being stupidly, foolishly honest. This wolf girl he’d just met could tell him to fling himself off this steep hillside to hit every protruding branch and rock on the way down and he’d do it. Or at least seriously consider it. Maybe try to talk her out of it first. Then do it anyway if she insisted.

His earnestness rewarded him with a small laugh from Yor. If it was genuine or out of pity he couldn’t tell.

“You’re a good person, Loid,” she said.

Not as good as you.

“Something like that.”

She relaxed a little. The stars were quickly overtaking the sky as the last of the sunset melted away. Loid knew that there were legends tied to the constellations, but the only stars he recognized were the ones useful for navigation. He laid down to get a full view of the sky and silently beckoned Yor to do the same. The grass shifted with her movement.

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d gone stargazing. Night time was for sheep watch or getting to bed early so he could wake up on time for work. It’d been years since he’d taken the time to stop and admire the sky.

“I was never very good in school, but Yuri told me how stars are giant spheres of burning gas far away in space. So far away that you could ride in a rocket ship towards one and not reach it in a thousand years,” Yor said. He turned to look at her. Her eyes glittered in the dark. 

“He also told me that light was…a wave, I think? Some sort of weightless thing that floats through space, like a gust of air. And when it lands on your eye when you see it, your pupils absorb the light.”

Loid smiled although she was still looking at the sky and wasn’t turned toward him. From what he understood about physics, she was partially wrong. He didn’t correct her.

“And I always thought since then, every time I look up at the night sky,” she continued, her voice hushed in reverence, “how the light coming from those stars traveled through the empty void of space for thousands and thousands of years, found our solar system, our planet, and, out of all the people looking up at the night sky, the light landed in my eyes.”

She finally turned to him, her face illuminated by the starlight in absence of the moon.

“You know what I mean?” she asked softly.

More than you could ever know.

“Yeah,” he breathed.

He allowed himself to be shamelessly, unabashedly lost in studying her. She rested a hand on his jaw, gently running her thumb over his cheek and the corner of his lips like she was trying to memorize the contours of his face. Surely she could feel his racing pulse, the goosebumps on his neck.

“I’m glad that it’s you who found me, Loid,” she whispered.

There was no doubt that Loid leaned in to kiss her, just as it was undeniable that Yor leaned in to do the same. Her nose pressed against his cheek and his breath mingled with hers. It was only a moment before their lips would finally meet, before all of his daydreams would become a reality.

But the sudden chatter of voices and grass shuffling caused them to shove apart. Loid lurched back, the sudden loss of Yor’s skin against the cool night air yanking him back to reality. Both of them looked to the source of the voices. A group of boys were making their way down the path to the lookout spot. The steep ledge of the hill hid Yor and Loid from their view but not for long.

“It’s Winston,” Loid hissed, “We need to hide.”

Yor’s face paled. They dove to gather up the blanket and remaining food to shove back into his rucksack. Loid tugged Yor into a patch of long, overgrown grass and low hanging branches, rolling both of them out of view just as Winston and his friends strutted into the clearing. Loid fought to ignore the pleasant pressure of Yor’s weight against his torso.

“You said you saw ‘im come this way?” one of Winston’s friends said while they kicked around the tall grass.

“His bike was gone and his barn was empty. We’re just covering all of our bases,” Winston muttered, “I know he’s hiding something.”

“And you think it’s one of them?”

“Maybe. Or something like it. I just don’t trust him, that’s all.”

One of his friends held a flashlight which swung across the lookout like a light house searching the sea. He paused on where Loid and Yor had just been sitting.

“The grass here is all pushed down. Someone was here recently,” he said.

“Couples come here to fool around all the time. It was probably that.”

“It’s barely past sunset, they would’ve stayed longer.”

“Yeah, unless they heard us coming.”

“Quiet,” Winston snapped, “Do you guys hear that?”

Both Yor and Loid froze, their arms stiffening around each other. The other boys shut up and listened to the crickets chirping and a faraway owl hooting. Through the long grass, Loid could barely make out the shape of Winston glancing about. For a chilling moment, his gaze landed on the patch of long grass and lingered.

“Never mind. Guess it was just me,” he said at last.

Winston and his boys stood around and talked for an infuriatingly long time until they decided to throw in the towel and hit up the pub in town. They took their sweet time meandering away, laughing and joking about pointless things. Finally, Loid and Yor stumbled from the grass, leaves and sticks clinging to their hair and clothes. They dusted their clothes off with a sigh.

“Were they talking about you, Loid?” Yor asked.

“I don’t know. Probably,” he mumbled. “Winston’s always weird. We’ll have to be careful.”

His words hung heavily in the cool air. The magical aura between them had evaporated.

“We should probably get back,” Loid murmured.

“Yeah,” came the reply.

Thankfully he’d been smart enough to hide his bike in the trees to keep it from getting stolen. He insisted that he ride this time and relished every moment Yor clung to him. They glided down the hill, feet dangling freely off the bike and hair whipping in the wind. Despite their tense encounter, he heard giggling behind him and she buried her face into his shoulder.

They made it home without another word. Bond, who was napping on the front porch sleepily raised his head when they arrived, eyed them for a moment, then promptly laid back down. Yor climbed off the back of the bike and Loid followed before propping it against the house. He paused to watch Yor look up once more into the sky bursting with stars.

“I’m sorry we had to cut tonight short, Yor,” he said. She smiled at him, then looked back to the sky.

“It’s alright. I suppose we’ll just have to try again next month,” she replied.

Loid’s mouth went dry. Would there be a next month? How long would Yor stay?

“I just wish Winston would mind his own business,” he grumbled. He clenched his hands. “I really wanted to make tonight special.”

Suddenly Yor was clasping her hands around his to unravel his fists and he looked up to meet her shining gaze. “It was! I had so much fun, Loid. I can’t thank you enough.”

“Really?” he asked skeptically. She smiled like a hundred brilliant sunrises.

“Yes, really. You’ve never done anything less.”

He squeezed her hands and then dropped them, which caught her off guard. But when she looked down to see what he was doing, Loid cupped her face and gently guided her to look at him.

“I’d still like to make it up to you,” he said carefully.

Her cheeks turned a violent red, but her lips curled shyly.

“How would you do that?” she asked.

Loid swallowed, hoping and praying that all the courage he’d managed to scrounge up didn’t fail him now. He rested his forehead against hers.

“Do you mind if I do it like this?”

She was all he could see yet her voice was faint.

“Please do.”

Loid broke his promise to Ms. Sherwood and did something very reckless and unbelievably stupid.

He kissed her.

Loid Forger’s first ever kiss was with a wolf girl that he found half-dead in the forest. He had no idea what he was doing and it terrified him. But it felt good. It was probably the single most good-feeling thing he’d ever experienced in his life. And that had to be a good sign, right?

Yor tasted mainly of apples, but when he pressed against her lips a little harder, he detected the faintest bit of copper. It was an intriguing combination, one that he was quickly deciding he didn’t mind at all. Holding her close, feeling her warm skin, her thundering pulse, her lips against his; it was all something he could get used to. Addicted to.

He pulled away after what he guessed was an appropriate amount of time. Distantly, he thought that he should let go of her as well, but he didn’t. Their gazes locked on each other, breath coming in short bursts. Neither of them made a move to break away and he suspected neither of them wanted to. At some point in their kiss, Yor had grabbed his shirt to pull him closer. Just her touch through the fabric over his chest was nearly enough to undo him completely.

He thanked every star above when she pulled him back in and he was lost once in her again.

***

Loid was whistling. 

It was a certain song he’d only admitted to one other living soul that it was his favorite. He didn’t even realize he was doing it until one of the other farm hands flung a clump of dirt at the back of his head to get him to shut up.

“What’s got you in such a good mood, Forger?” another asked snidely. They’d spent all morning hunched over shovels replacing old fence posts. Their backs ached and the sun’s rays were already unforgiving so early in the day. It was hardly a matter to whistle about.

“Nothing in particular,” Loid replied nonchalantly but the tips of his ears turned pink.

It was absolutely something in particular.

How could he be in a sour mood when he woke up this morning next to Yor with the ghost of her kiss still lingering on his lips? He’d made up for cutting the night short at least a few dozen times before they decided to finally go inside and to bed. But when Loid went to go to his room and Yor to his parents’, he shyly asked if she wanted to come with him. They fell asleep tangled up together, giggling in the dark like children and exchanging kisses.

He wished he was still asleep next to Yor who hadn’t even woken up when he left to go to work. But at least he’d see her tonight. The thought made him feel lighter than air.

“Hey, Loid!” he heard someone call. Of course it was Winston coming to help with the fence after watering the sheep, a shovel held over his shoulder. The sight of him yanked Loid back to reality.

“Winston,” he replied with a cordial nod.

“Where were you last night? We stopped by your house after work to see if you wanted to come with us to town.”

Loid gritted his teeth and attacked the ground with his shovel.

“I went out on a bike ride last night,” he grumbled without further explanation, hoping that would end the conversation. It didn’t.

“Aw, you’re always dodgin’ us. You gotta come hang out sometime,” Winston said as he sideled up beside him, “You’re not messing around with some girl behind our backs are you?”

Loid accidentally flung a shovelful of dirt straight into the air.

“I–I’m not!” he stammered, “I really did just go on a bike ride!”

Winston’s wide grin showed off rows of straight, white teeth, but it felt less like a smile and more like a wild animal showing off its fangs. “So it is a girl!”

“It’s not.”

“Tell me about her!”

“There’s no girl,” Loid insisted

Winston leaned against his shovel. His playful expression suddenly froze over.

“Then who is it, Loid?” he asked, tone low and accusatory.

Loid snapped. If Winston was going to ditch the whole friendly coworker persona, then so was he.

“What’s your deal, Winston?” he snarled, “Why do you always think I’m up to something? Can’t you learn to mind your own business?”

Winston wasn’t fazed by his sudden switch in tone. “Haven’t you heard the news, Loid?” he challenged, “There’s evidence of Ostania sending spies to infiltrate towns on the eastern border. They’re trying to poison us from the inside out.”

“And?” Loid spat, “What’s that got to do with me and my nonexistent girlfriend?”

“It’s worse than you think, Loid. They’re experimen–”

“Hey, I don’t pay you to chit chat!” Ms. Sherwood hit both of them over the head with her gloves. “I’ll make Aaron babysit you two and tell him to nip your ankles if you start slacking. Don’t think I won’t.”

She continued on nagging and threatening, but Loid didn’t hear her. Was Winston going to say Ostania was experimenting? On who? His mind went immediately to Yor. But she’d been in Hugaria when she was kidnapped and experimented on. Or were Ostanian agents kidnapping civilians in other countries to test on them? That felt so contrived.

Actually, now that he thought about it, why had the scientist–if they were Hugarian–freed Yor in the forest between Ostania and Westalis? Hugaria was quite a ways away. And, no matter how strong or fast Yor was, there was no way that she could’ve crossed that great of distance by herself. And if she had, she would’ve been seen and reports of a giant wolf would’ve quickly spread prior to arrival in Luwen. Loid scowled. He hated that Winston had somehow gotten into head. He hated that now he suspected that Yor was lying to him somehow. He wouldn’t believe it. This was all a misunderstanding. It had to be.

Except that Loid couldn’t stop thinking about it. Yor spoke very vaguely about her life in Hugaria and she didn’t go into detail about her experimentations. He hadn’t thought much about it but now his mind worked overtime trying to put all the pieces together. Even though he avoided Winston for the rest of the day, his words kept coming back to haunt him. Loid worked in a distracted daze, all of his cheerful reminiscences of the night before replaced with a horrible foreboding that he was missing something important. Loid left as soon as he could; he even managed to sneak off early when he was on mucking duty by slipping out a side door when no one else was around.

The storm of turmoil in his mind had slowly dissipated and the remaining confusion hardened into a single, barefaced conclusion: he needed to see Yor.

He robotically biked home with this single thought in his mind. His heart pounded when he turned the hill and his parent’s house came into view. When he left that morning, Yor had still been asleep and hadn’t said goodbye like she usually did. What would he say to her? Would she know right away that something was wrong? Was something wrong?

The front door flung when he was walking up to the house and Yor came flying down the path to meet him with Bond close behind. Before he could react, she scooped Loid up in a bone-crushing hug and laughed. His feet lifted from the ground and he momentarily forgot about everything Winston had said. When she put him back on the ground, she cupped his face and grinned just looking at him.

“W–What was that all for?” he asked. Yor shrugged without looking away.

“Just missed you. Welcome home,” she replied. Then her smile wavered. “Is everything okay?”

He sighed and all the memories of the day came back to him. His arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her close again in a long, tired embrace.

“Work was hard. I’m exhausted,” he muttered.

“I’m so sorry, Loid. Was Winston bothering you?”

He tensed ever so slightly. “A little bit. And I’ve had a headache all day.” Yor leaned back and gingerly touched his forehead.

“Do you think it’s your concussion?” she asked.

“Probably.”

She frowned sympathetically and tugged him to the house. “I tried making dinner, hopefully that takes something off your plate. I managed to not start any fires! Although I did end up eating most of the potatoes before I finished cooking…”

Yor continued chattering as he pulled off his boots and hung up his jacket. He watched her without a word as she flitted about in the kitchen, moving pots and setting plates.

Winston just said that the Ostania government was performing experiments. Yor was experimented on. Those two things didn’t have to be related, but logic reasoned that it was more likely that they were. It also reasoned that there was a high likelihood that there was something else at play that he didn’t know but Yor did.

“…Loid?”

He realized he’d been standing still in the entryway, unmoving and silent. Her eyebrows pushed together in concern.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” she asked.

You know I’d never hurt you, right?

But would she tell him the truth if he asked, Loid wondered.

The sudden rapping of knuckles against the front door derailed Loid’s train of thought. He waved Yor away into his room and opened the door with a less than pleasant expression. It was one of the other farm hands, Johnson if he remembered correctly. He was one the newest hire and couldn’t have been older than twelve. As such, he usually got stuck doing the jobs everyone else disliked. He was nervously holding his hat in one hand and while the other was poised to knock again.

“The fence broke and the sheep got out!” he blurted out, “Mrs. Sherwood needs as much help as she can get! Sh–She told me to come get you!”

“What? But we just replaced all of the fence posts today,” Loid replied incredulously.

“It was by the south field where w–we haven’t replaced it yet,” Johnson sputtered, “Something spooked ‘em and now they’re all scattered in the forest! We gotta get ‘em back before nightfall!”

Loid’s eyes widened. “Jeffery’s down the road on the left. Go get him while I put on my boots. Don’t wait for me.”

“Bu–”

Loid closed the door without waiting for him to finish. He shoved his shoes back on and began tying the laces when Yor hesitantly emerged.

“Do you have to go again?” she whispered in case anyone was listening.

“Yes, but I’ll be back before dark. I’ll make sure of it.”

Yor frowned and studied her feet. “Are you sure? I can go into the barn just to be safe.”

“Really, it’ll be fine. I’ll be back. Besides, you haven’t eaten yet.” He stood up and tugged on his coat. “Go ahead and eat without me.”

She looked completely crestfallen but nodded.

“Please be safe,” she murmured.

Loid looked down at her. It felt too much like a wife bidding her husband goodbye before he went to work. He should really kiss her.

“I will,” he muttered and slipped out the door.

Outside, he found Johnson waiting by the front gate on his bike.

“I thought I told you to go get Jeffery,” Loid growled as he climbed onto his own bike. He pushed off quickly, leaving Johnson to scramble to keep up.

“J–Jeffery’s already at Sherwood’s,” he stammered, “It happened right as soon as you left so most of the guys are still there.”

“Then why’d they need me so badly?”

“I dunno, Ms. Sherwood just said she wanted you.”

Loid hunched over his bike and glared straight ahead on the road. Leave it to Ms. Sherwood to not be satisfied when she had an army of farm hands to do her bidding. She just had to have Loid. It couldn’t be more than an hour before sunset. Hopefully they’d wrap this up quickly.

The fields were empty when Johnson and Loid pulled up. It made sense if everyone was out looking, but the silence made Loid’s skin crawl. There weren’t even any of the other boys’ bikes leaned against the fence like there usually was. In fact, when Loid walked past the barn, he spotted plenty of calm sheep peacefully grazing in the pasture. He turned on his heel.

“Johnson, why the hell am I here?” he demanded. The younger boy wildly flailed his hands, eyes wide.

“M–Maybe they found ‘em already!” he said quickly, “And they already we–”

Loid grabbed the boy’s collar and slammed him against the side of the barn hard enough to lift him off the ground several inches.

“Don’t lie to me, boy,” he snarled. Johnson weakly tried to pry Loid’s grip from his shirt but to no avail.

“I’m–I’m sorry,” he gasped feebly, “I–I didn’t want to b–but Winston…”

Loid leaned all his strength onto Johnson until he towered over the boy.

“What about Winston?”

Johnson tried and failed again to free himself but Loid only pressed harder, causing him to cry out in pain. Then, the boy glanced over Loid’s shoulder and his large eyes grew even wider.

“I–”

Loid barely registered the swiftly approaching shadow over his head before something cracked against his skull and the world went black.

***

He woke to a boot digging into his side and straw scratching his skin. A splitting pain pierced like a burning knife through the back of his head, far worse than when he hit the barn rafter. He pried open his eyes but was met with a damp, all-consuming darkness.

The boot dug into his side again. He could barely manage a weak groan as a response before something yanked on his leg and he could breathe fresh air again. He groggily blinked to find himself staring at the spinning dark ceiling of Ms. Sherwood’s barn.

“What the hell, Loid? I thought someone stashed a dead body in my barn.”

He blinked again and saw three Ms. Sherwoods crouched over him, her sharp eyes pointed with concern. They swam in his vision before slowly settling into one person.

“Ms…Sherwood?” he mumbled.

“Taking a nap in the hay is a terrible idea. You’re just asking to get stabbed with a pitchfork.”

“I–I wasn’t.”

Loid slowly sat up but his stomach violently churned in protest. It was so difficult to think again.

“Whoa, you’re bleeding.” He felt a hand on his shoulder helping to stabilize him. “What happened?”

He held his head in his hands. He couldn’t remember anything at the moment. Was he still at work?

“Did you hit your head?”

He carefully looked around. It was just the two of them in the barn, so it was probably after work. Yor would be waiting for him.

Wait…Yor?

“Loid? Answer, me, boy.”

He struggled to his feet. “Winston knocked me out. Or he told someone to. I–I didn’t see who…where’s Johnson?”

“Johnson? I saw the scamp skittering off an hour ago. I figured he just forgot his gloves again,” Ms. Sherwood said, “What do you mean Winston knocked you out?”

“An hour ago?” Loid repeated. How long had he been asleep? He pushed past Ms. Sherwood, staggered to the barn doors, and pushed them open with great effort. He swore out loud when he saw the last of the sunset disappearing behind the hills.

“Loid! Wait, hold on!” Ms. Sherwood called, but he was already breaking into a run to the front gates.

His feet were wobbly and unsure on the uneven ground but he pushed forward. He skidded to a stop to where he’d leaned his bike against the fence. Of course it was gone. It was probably tossed in a ditch somewhere with the handlebars missing. He turned around and headed straight to Ms. Sherwood’s truck. She always kept the keys on the seat in case one of the farm hands needed to use it for work. He was climbing into the truck when Ms. Sherwood managed to catch up to him. She yanked him back by the collar.

“Just where do you think you’re going?!” she demanded, “Are you trying to steal my truck?”

“Let me go! Yor’s in trouble!” he snapped. 

“What do you mean she’s in trouble?”

“Winston’s gonna hurt her! That’s why he knocked me out! So let me go!”

She released her grip in shock, causing Loid to lurch forward into the truck. He flung the door open and scooped up the keys.

“Are you sure you should be driving, Loid?” she asked, “Let me come with you. I can talk some sense into Winston.”

“No, I’ll take care of it. Don’t worry about me.”

She said something else, but her voice was drowned out by the truck’s engine roaring to life. Without waiting, he flicked on the lights and peeled out of the farm. He pushed the truck as fast as he dared, uncaring when he flew over bumps in the road or cut corners through fields. His head throbbed with every harsh bounce, but he hardly registered it. 

He just needed to get to her.

He took the last turn to his parent’s house too fast. The truck swerved wildly while Loid yanked the wheel back and forth to try to regain control. His head whipped back as the front of the truck smashed into the front gate and the engine died with a guttural, mechanical shriek. No matter, he would worry about that later.

The house was dark in the oncoming twilight. As he stumbled out of the truck and to the barn, he prayed over and over, desperately hoping that Yor hadn’t transformed yet. But a horrible, heavy pit in his stomach whispered a truth that he already knew but didn’t want to confront. A large, white shape came bounding towards him, barking and whining incessantly.

“Bond!” Loid ran to meet the dog. “Where is she? Why aren’t you with her?”

As if he could understand Loid, Bond circled him once and dashed back to the forest, trying to lead him. Loid followed past the house and barn, only pausing briefly to glance inside. The barn doors hung open and empty, not a soul stirring in the shadows. Loid grit his teeth, grabbed his rifle still leaning against the barn, and continued following Bond.

They’d barely broken the treeline when a familiar, monstrous howl shook the air. His heart shuddered with fear. Yor was out in the forest while transformed. That was bad, but maybe he could coax her back inside if Winston hadn’t gotten to her. He had some meat in the house, maybe–

A gunshot boomed through the trees.

Loid’s heart shattered into his stomach.

He stumbled into a clearing where Winston stood, smoke pouring out of the barrel of his rifle pointed at a giant black wolf. In the dying sunlight, Loid could see blood glistening on her side. Her hackles were raised and head down low, her nose wrinkled and lips curled revealing long, curved teeth in a growl. The only movement in her body was from her red eyes which darted wildly between Loid and Winston. The conflict between Yor and whatever animalistic tendencies overcame her in this form raged for control.

“One hell of a girl you got, Loid,” Winston said without lowering his rifle.

“Put the gun down, Winston,” Loid ordered, his voice low and clear.

“And let her eat us? Are you insane?”

“She won’t eat us. I’ll make sure of it,” he said carefully, “Put the gun down and back away slowly. I’ll distract her while you make a run for it.”

“Like hell. She’ll eat both of us the moment we turn around.”

“She won’t. Put the gun down, Winston.”

“No.”

Loid lifted his rifle and pulled back the safety. At the sound, Winston’s head whipped around at him in alarm.

“Are you serious right now, Loid? You’re going to shoot me?” he asked in disbelief.

“If you don’t put the gun down, then I’ll do it for you,” Loid said coolly. 

“Loid…” Winston murmured, “She’s Ostanian. She’s one of them.”

Loid didn’t waver.

“You’re lying.”

“I’m not. I tried to tell you earlier,” Winston said, “There’s been rumors of Ostania kidnapping their own people and turning them into monsters. They set them free on Westalian towns to weaken the border.”

Yor let out a low, rumbling growl and Loid scowled.

“I don’t believe you, Winston.”

“It’s true. Haven’t you heard the reports? How livestock keep disappearing in border towns like Luwen? She’s to blame,” Winston said. He gestured to Yor with his rifle. “Pretty soon sheep and pigs won’t be enough. They’ll start picking off people, too.”

Loid’s mind swam. It made sense, but it wasn’t supposed to make sense. Yor was supposed to be Hugarian and an innocent girl caught up in some mad scientist’s evil schemes.

But that couldn’t be the truth could it?

He closed his eyes as a wave of dizziness overwhelmed his senses. There had been so many small things pointing to the truth, practically screaming at him that Yor was lying but he’d simply ignored it. She was Ostanian. She was the enemy.

“Don’t make this difficult, Loid,” Winston said, “We could both take her down. Point your rifle at her, not me.”

Perhaps a month ago Loid would’ve done so without thought. He would’ve put a full chamber of bullets into Yor’s side and then some. He would’ve had his first Ostanian kill before war was even declared. But, even with this revelation, he became sickened at the thought of just pointing the barrel at her.

“I know Ostanians, Yor, you can’t trust ‘em,” he said with a snort, “It’s only a matter of time before we go to war, thank goodness.”

“You know them?”

“Of course. Everyone in Westalis does. We never forgot what they did. They killed my parents.”

He’d been such a fool. He hadn’t known a thing about Ostanians and now he did. And because of that, he couldn’t bring himself to shoot Yor.

“Don’t tell me you’ve turned traitor, Loid,” Winston scoffed when he saw his hesitation.

“Th–There has to be some other way we can resolve this,” Loid croaked weakly. 

Yor’s growling grew louder into a rolling, thunderous snarl. She crouched lower as if readying to pounce.

“There’s no two ways about it, Loid. She has to die,” Winston said, “Are you gonna help me or just stand by like a coward?”

“She’s done nothing wrong, Winston,” Loid shot back.

At this, Winston dropped his rifle and laughed, actually laughed. “Nothing? Was murdering my family nothing? Was killing your parents nothing?” he said, “Was bombing half the country nothing? Did the war mean nothing to you?”

“Don’t tell me what my parents death means to me, Winston,” Loid spat, “You don’t know anything. Leave Yor alone, she’s not a murderer.”

Winston scoffed again. 

“You’re a fool, Loid,” was all he said.

It all happened so fast. While Winston turned back to Yor and raised his rifle, Yor lunged at him, jaws open and turned, eager to sink her teeth into his flesh. Her trajectory was straight towards his neck, a blow that would surely kill him.

And, like the fool he was, Loid charged forward to push Winston out of the way.

It would’ve been better off for both of them if Winston were to die right here. His death would be ruled an unfortunate animal attack and no one else in Luwen would know about Yor. But Loid kept thinking about how Yor had confided in him that she was terrified of herself, of what she could do, of who she would hurt. If she killed Winston, it would kill her as well.

He felt the hot blood spurting from his flesh before he felt the pain. Four canine teeth sank into his back, chest, and left shoulder with a sickening, bone-shattering crunch. Her mouth pulled on his frame, trying to tear a large chunk of him away from the rest of his body. With his free hand, he weakly grabbed the fur at the top of her head.

“Yor, It’s…alright…” he gasped, but each word felt like an punch to his stomach.

He felt frothy blood dribbling from his mouth and down his chin. Each nerve screamed so loudly with pain he could hardly think straight. In his mind, he begged Winston to run while Yor was preoccupied, but the building pressure of Yor’s jaws around his body became too much for him to speak. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to focus on breathing.

Suddenly, he felt Yor’s razor grip on him jolt, like she’d suddenly been shocked.

It happened again.

And again.

Without warning, the hot clamp of teeth around his body disappeared and Loid fell to the ground in a slump. His ears were roaring with blood and static but underneath it all he heard something like distant thunder. He pried open his eyes to see Winston raised on one knee, rifle raised.

Those weren’t thunderstrikes, it was Winston shooting her.

“Winst…” he tried calling, but his voice came out garbled, “What are you…?”

“Doing what you can’t, Loid,” he snarled.

The end of the rifle’s barrel exploded in smoke and fire and Yor reared back as if she’d been hit over the head with an unseen force. A geyser of blood erupted from her neck. She howled in pain and staggered back.

“Stop!” Loid pleaded, but Winston was deaf to his pleas. He shot over and over, even pausing to reload with fumbling fingers.

Yor crumpled onto the ground, several large, gaping bullet holes littered across her body like giant, bloody fleas. Her shaky breaths came in high, painful whines. Listening to her writhe in misery hurt Loid more than anything else he’d ever experienced, even more than the bleeding gouges on his own body. 

Once she was sufficiently battered to Winston’s liking, he stood over her, rifle victoriously slung over his shoulder.

“The only good Ostanian is a dead one, Loid,” he said, “It’s a shame to kill such a pretty girl, but it’s for the best.”

He flipped the rifle back into his hands and checked his remaining bullet.

“The least I can do is put her out of her misery.”

Winston raised the rifle and pointed the barrel at her head. He took his time setting the sights, even though he stood right over her, one foot propped on her giant, quivering shoulder. His finger curled around the trigger.

“Sorry, miss.”

The final gunshot cracked through the dark forest like a whip snapping. The silence that followed was thick enough to taste in the bloody air. Winston stood statue still over Yor.

The rifle in his hands slipped and fell with a clatter.

He wavered for only a moment before toppling backwards to the ground, a single hole between his eyes.

Across from him, Loid stood on shaky feet, his trembling hands slick with blood and uneven breath coming out shuddering heaves. His own rifle fell to the ground with disbelief.

He’d shot Winston.

He’d killed Winston.

Had he had anything left in his stomach, he would’ve thrown it all up right then.

Instead, the last of his dwindling strength left him and he collapsed on the ground. He felt blood quickly trickling down his arms, legs and back, rapidly soaking through what few dry patches were left of his clothes. But despite the warm blood covering his body and the gashes cut into his flesh, the only thing he felt was an all-encompassing cold creeping through his bones. He’d never felt so cold before, not even during those frigid nights while on watch duty during the winter. 

However, as much as Loid wanted to curl into a ball and wait for himself to bleed out, he couldn’t. Shivering, bleeding, and gasping, he crawled through the grass to where Yor lay. His shaking fingers immediately curled into the thick, dark fur, desperately searching for any warmth of life. Had it really been just last night when he ran his fingers through her hair while she leaned against his chest? The memory made him sob, a wrenching, desperate noise that came from his trembling stomach. She felt still and stiff; cold like him.

He buried his face into her fur and wept until the darkness overtook him.

***

The people of Luwen never got a clear answer on what happened that night. The rumors mention an argument over a girl, some gunshots, and a wolf attack. Ms. Sherwood was the one who followed Bond into the forest and found the three of them soaked completely through with blood. 

Winston Wheeler was dead.

Loid Forger was mostly dead himself, just barely alive with most of his blood on the outside rather than the inside. He was the one attacked by the wolf, although none of the doctors had ever seen a bite that big. Whatever it was chewed him up before spitting him back out.

Then there was the girl.

Loid was found draped over the girl, clinging to her in his delirious state of being half-alive like she was the only thing keeping him from total death. The most strange thing about the girl would’ve been the fact that she wore nothing but dried blood in the way of clothes had it not been for the nine bullet holes in her.

The girl was dead. Should’ve been dead. Somehow wasn’t dead.

Some said it was a miracle. Others whispered she wasn’t human.

They were whisked away to the nearest city to a real hospital, not some rural clinic. Loid didn’t wake up for two days. The girl didn’t wake up for much longer. Doctors muttered among themselves about how she probably wouldn’t wake up.

The day that Loid awoke was the day Westalis declared war on Ostania. When he heard the news, Loid broke into tears all over again.

***

Loid read through the report again as if expecting the results to change upon a third reading.

His left arm was wrapped in a thick cast and hung from his neck in a sling. It hurt like hell. According to the report, the nerve damage would never fully heal.

It would exempt him from military service, the doctor had said.

The paper slipped from his fingers and fluttered to the floor. He should’ve felt something when he learned his lifelong dream was no longer possible. The hours he’d spent imagining himself on the front lines and claiming revenge on his parents had all been a waste. Instead, he didn’t feel anything.

He heard Yor was on the floor above him in the hospital. She spent days fighting for her life as doctors worked on her around the clock. They asked him for more details about her when Loid woke up. He said she was Yor, a girl from Hugaria, and very far from home. Apparently she regained consciousness yesterday, but he didn’t know when it was the right time to see her.

He stared at the report on the ground. There was nothing left to do, anyway.

Yor was looking out the window when Loid let himself into her room. A system of tubes emerged from needles in her arms and propped her up like some sort of medical marionette puppet. Regardless, her eyes were sharp. They widened slightly upon seeing him; out of happiness or apprehension, Loid couldn’t tell.

“Hey,” he said quietly as he sat down next to her bed.

“Hey,” she echoed, her voice as rough as gravel.

“How do you feel?”

She looked down to the stiff bandages around her limbs and torso. “Tired. The morphine makes me feel strange. But I’m mostly confused.”

“Confused?” he asked.

“I haven’t transformed once,” she said, “I vaguely remember reverting after…after Winston shot me and I haven’t changed since.” She weakly opened and closed her fist. “It’s like I can still feel the wolf, though, but it’s smaller now. Like it’s not in control anymore.”

Loid nodded as if he understood. “Then that’s good. You won’t have to worry anymore.”

“That’s true.”

A heavy silence fell upon the room. So much had happened that night that Loid didn’t know where to begin. He heard Yor sniffing quietly and looked up to see a tear sliding down her cheeks.

“I’m sorry I broke my promise to you, Loid,” she whispered, “I hurt you, even though I said I wouldn’t. I bit you. And on top of all that, I lied to you.”

Loid closed his eyes and sighed a deep, heavy exhale.

“I chose to step in front of you. I chose to let you bite me. I couldn’t let you kill Winston, not when the guilt would destroy you. I don’t blame you,” he said. “Not for biting me. Not for lying to me about being Ostanian. None of it.”

He opened his and stared hard at the floor before forcing himself to look at Yor. Her face was a mess of tears and confusion.

“Loid–”

“Yor,” he interrupted, “What’s done is done.”

She was quiet for a moment. She clutched the sheets of her bed.

“I didn’t kill Winston,” she murmured, “But you did.”

“He was killing you.”

“It wasn’t worth killing him over it.”

“Yes it was,” Loid said firmly, “Yor, you were going to die.”

“I’m Ostanian.”

“You’re an innocent person.”

She looked miserable. “I’m still Ostanian. I’m your enemy now. I heard the news.”

“You’re my friend,” Loid said. He reached over and grabbed her hand. “Please don’t call yourself my enemy.”

Yor studied their joined hands. She gently squeezed his palm.

“What will you do now?” she asked.

He ran his thumb over the back of her hand. “I can’t enlist. The nerves in my shoulder are ruined—don’t apologize,” he said before she could even open her mouth, “I wasn’t going to, anyway. I don’t want this war anymore. Ms. Sherwood visited me yesterday and I told her. She said there was some government program looking for recruits to work in intelligence. Told me that she knew one of the higher ups and that they’d want someone like me as soon as I recovered.”

He laughed. 

“The war’s barely started and people are already trying to end it. Why do we even bother?” he said bitterly.

“Do you think you’ll go?” Yor asked. Loid shrugged his good shoulder.

“I don’t know. I’ll consider it,” he replied, “What about you? Where will you go?”

It was her turn to sigh. “I probably shouldn’t stay in Westalis for long. I’m like you, I don’t want to go to war,” she said, “But I also want to bring those people who experimented on me to justice. I’m sure that there were others. I don’t know what I’ll do yet, but it’ll be something.”

They digested this information in a thoughtful silence. Loid couldn’t fight back the fond smile that made its way across his lips. Of course Yor’s first instinct was to help others.

“I guess neither of us know how to rest,” he chuckled. She laughed as well.

“No, I suppose not,” she said. Then, she added nervously, “Once we’re out of the hospital, I’d like to spend at least one more day with you. Just to say goodbye, if you wouldn’t mind.”

Loid grinned. “Of course. I’ll look forward to it. Maybe if you transform, you’ll finally let me ride on your back.”

Yor looked aghast. “You know I can’t let you do that!”

“Why not? You said so yourself it felt like you had more control now.”

“Because…! W–What if I accidentally throw you off?”

“Then I’ll get back up,” he said nonchalantly.

Yor swatted his arm. She was laying down and restricted by the IVs in her arm, but the force almost knocked him over. She covered her mouth in horror and began stammering apologies.

“Seems like you still got wolf strength,” he said with a wince.

Yor bashfully looked down at her lap and her face broke out into a furious blush.

“A–Actually, I’ve always been this strong,” she admitted, “Once I hugged Yuri too hard and cracked his ribs. I felt so bad.”

Loid leaned against her bed in shock. “Really?”

She shyly nodded. “I didn’t want you to think I was some sort of monster. Or any more of one, anyway,” she mumbled.

“It seems like there’s a lot I still don’t know about you,” he said in disbelief.

“I think you know quite a bit,” she countered, “It’s just little things like that you don’t know yet.”

Loid smiled. “I’d like to get to know everything about you, if you wouldn’t mind.”

“I think that’d take longer than a day, Loid.”

“I certainly hope so.”

“So,” she said carefully, “What are you saying then?”

“I’m saying I’d like to see you for more than a day. A lot more, actually. If not now, then someday,” Loid said, “If that’s alright with you.”

Her smile was brighter than any full moon.

“I’d like that very much.”

 

 

 

Notes:

...and there's one down, three more to go!

if you don't know, i will be releasing a twiyor halloween au fic every friday this month. if you'd like, check out my tumblr where i'll be posting art and teasers of upcoming fics.

thank you so much to cantare for beta reading, coming up with an excellent summary, and being a wonderful source of support!

thanks also to my roommate for reading through this too i guess.

see you next week >:)

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