Chapter Text
Beca threw her bag on the floor and kicked the front door closed behind her. It's been few months since she and Jessie broke-up but it doesn't mean that it didn't hurt seeing him every day at the studio. Even tho they were friends now, her guilt was still there eating her from the inside.
Jessie had been noticing Beca drifting away from him but even with Beca's self-reserved nature he knew that this was different. He sat her down one evening to talk, and to his surprise Beca didn't close off or didn't use any sarcastic remarks to get out of the conversation. Instead, Beca stared at her hands in her lap, tears rolling down her cheeks.
That night she confessed to not feeling the same about him anymore and that it's been a while like that. But it wasn't Jessies fault. Not at all. Beca actually blamed herself. She blamed herself for not letting herself admit to her and Jessie that she was in fact, not attracted to him, or any men actually.
She hated herself because she couldn't give Jessie what he deserved. Yes, she loved him, but not like she was supposed to, and that guilt has been killing her. Jessie was sweet, kind, attentive, funny and he gave Beca everything he could and Beca tried, she really did but she couldn't keep this from him.
Jessie was always her friend before anything else, and so, that night he held Beca close on his couch as she cried in his arms mumbling an apology after another. He held her tight and told her that everything would be fine. “Well figure it out together.” he said. After that, Beca's breathing finally evened out as she slowly drifted asleep.
____________
Beca huffed as she walked to the couch, throwing her small body face down into the pillows. The old cushion made a protesting sound.
“What's all that about?” asks a soft familiar voice from the kitchen. (Due to the small and open apartment, they are really less than six feet apart)
In response, Beca groans even louder, sounds maffled by the soft fabric under her face.
This gains a small chuckle from the red head now standing above her with a kitchen towel in her hands. She leans over the couch “Looks like somebody had a rough day.”
“Ughhhh, you dont even knowww” Beca sight, her words barely making it to Chloes ears through the bunch of pillows. She lifted her head, getting her hair out of her mouth and rambling.
“This dude came in today. He was such a terrible singer, that even the ton of autotune I used couldn't fix it. And guess what.... He blamed it on me! like it was my! fault that he sucked!” Beca said and threw her hands in the air with her every word getting higher and higher with frustration.
“He sounds like a jerk.” Chloe simply stated.
“Yeah, that little piece of shi-” Beca started.
“Yeah, okay,” Chloe interrupted, laughing at her best friend's antics. “C'mon Becs', dinner is ready.” She walked around the couch to the brunett's side.
She tried to pull the woman up by her hand, but the younger girl just let her arm flop back onto the couch like non of her limbs were working. She tried again but with no luck.
Not wanting to get up, Beca just grunted “Nooo, ughh. Just let me die here from starvation so I don't have to go back tomorrow.”
With a smirk on her face, Chloe starts to slowly walk away toward the kitchen.
“Well that's a shame,” the older woman said with a teasing voice, her smirk spreading even more. “And I thought that I would share my mom's famous mac n' cheese with you” She said with a shrug, knowing well it's the girl's favorite food.
And with that, Beca's head shot up. “You made mac n' cheese?”
“I mean yeah, but I guess I'll have to eat it all by myself” Chloe said turning her back to Beca, continuing her walk to the kitchen. “All. By. My. Self.” Chloe sang.
With that, Beca shot up and started sprinting toward the kitchen. But with a little miscalculation her legs tripped on the carpet and sent her whole body flying forward. She shut her eyes expecting pain to flood her full body but that didn't happen.
She felt warm and steady hands around her small shoulders pulling her upright. When she opened her eyes, she saw stars everywhere from standing up too fast. (She made a mental note that she might have low iron, but that's beside the point right now.)
She blinked few times. As her sight was clearing and her eyes came to focus, she saw her roommates face.
Close. Very close.
Their faces were in fact so close, that Beca could probably count all the freckles on the bridge of her best friend's nose. They spread along her eyes all the way to her temples, fading beautifly on her cheeks. Beca's gaze was roaming all around the taller girl's soft features. For the first time she noticed how her friend's eyebrows were perfectly shaped. How her eyelashes were long and softly curved up. The lines on her face from smiling so much every single day. The kind of smile that is just so obnoxiously infectious that it makes you want to do what ever it takes to keep it that way forever.
And those eyes. Those crystal blue eyes that always see through any walls that Beca tries to put up. So blue that Beca feels chills run down her spine. And right now she could drown in them. She could get lost and never be found and she wouldn't even mind.
“You alright there?” The redhead asked.
Beca, coming back to earth from her very interesting train of thoughts, chokes out.
“Y-yeah. I-I just got dizzy... I guess I stood up too fast.”
That's when Beca noticed how close they were still standing. Chloe's hands were still firmly placed at Beca's shoulders, her thumbs unconsciously drawing circles on her bare skin.
The brunette felt the thumping in her chest quicken with heat rising to her ears. Getting uncomfortable very fast, she cleared her throat.
“I think I need some water”
She left Chloe's embrace and walked the rest of the way to the kitchen. Once she turned away from the redhead she fanned her face with her hand.
“What the hell was that” she cursed under her breath. She chugged her second glass of water down when Chloe entered the kitchen.
From where she was standing, she could still see the deep shade of pink on the tips of Beca's ears. The older woman had to hold back a chuckle as an idea of teasing more the DJ seemed to be a fun way to spend the evening.
Beca was now standing at the stove, spoon in hand, eating a mouthfull of mac n' cheese straight out of the pot. A little hum of appreciation left her.
Chloe on the other hand, made her priority a single thing. Tease Beca Mitchel and make her as uncomfortable as possible. Because there is nothing more adorable than a tiny little squirming DJ. She has never seen Beca go so red like she did few moments ago and it was the cutest thing ever.
Okay, she might have seen the tiny brunette blush once or twice on a girl's night with the Bellas. There was this one time they all decided to play truth or dare. And Amy dared Staci to give Beca a lap dance. And of course Stacie's neckline was nowhere to be found showing pretty much everything, and when she started playing with the colar of Beca's shirt, Beca looked like she was about to explode and left saying she had some tracks she needed to finish.
Or there was that one time when Chloe burst into her shower and demanded Beca to sing for her her lady jam. That's where Chloe noticed the girl's eyes trace up and down her body and linger at the redheads chest a little longer than necessary followed by that blush, the older woman liked so much. To be honest Beca isn't the only one blushing at just the thought of that incident.
´Wait, ...could it be? Is it possible that...? No, Beca ...wait...´ Chloe thought.
´Wait´
Chloe had feelings for Beca ever since they became co-captains, but she never dared to even think about doing anything about it. She pushed it deep down convincing herself it was just platonic. Their friendship was not worth ruining it because of some silly little feelings of the redhead.
Beca never seemed to be into girls anyway despite how she always wore plaid flannels or her body language in general. It was throwing the redhead off. Especially when she learned that Beca was dating Jessie.
But Beca did say that she broke up with Jessie because things changed for her.
´Let's say I learned something new about myself ´ She remembers Beca saying. But after that she closed off and Chloe didn't want to push her to anything and later it was just never the right time.
It could have meant anything. Maybe she just wasn't into him anymore. Or she wasn't into him at all.....
Could it be that Beca also liked girls?
Chloe wasn't sure. She was her best friend. Why didn't she tell her ?
She could be wrong but she had to find out.
Beca was still standing there. A full pot of her comfort food in one hand and a spoon on its way to her mouth in other. She didn't even bother taking out a bowl.
Beca almost jumped out of her skin when she felt a hand wrap around her torso. The taller girl came from behind, leaning over her shoulder, taking an advantage of their height difference. Beca watched as Chloe leaned in really close. So close that she felt her breath on the corner of her mouth. Her soft pink lips were so close to Beca's. Beca froze. What was happening?
Her whole body became suddenly very aware of how Chloe's hand was resting just below her rib cage and how the back of her arm was pressed up against Chloe's chest. Their hips were pressed together. Every single nerve in her body was highly aware of the position she was in. Her brain was screaming at her to run. But she couldn't move.
She stood there frozen as her best friend inched closer and closer, slowly closing the distance between them. But at the very last moment, when Beca thought that their lips would touch, Chloe moved her head away to the side where she took into her mouth the full spoon Beca was still holding.
Beca's mouth fell open.
Maybe from the shock. Maybe because Chloe just took her food right before her mouth. Or because that was literally the hottest thing she ever witnessed. She was glad that she was still held by the redhead because her knees would definitely not hold her up.
There were butterflies not just in her stomach but also in places she shouldn't feel butterflies in after watching her best friend eat her food from the spoon she was just about to put in her mouth.
Yes, she certainly shouldn't feel her heart beating (or not beating at all, she has no idea) in her ears like she just ran a marathon. And surely she should not be disappointed that the thing that was about to happen didn't happen.
Chloe. Her roommate. Her co-captain of the Bellas. Her best friend.
That's right. Chloe is her best friend. She shouldn't feel any of these things in her presence. They used to share a pull-out bed for majority of college before Amy moved out. Even after that, Chloe was always invading Beca's personal space, breaking through all her walls she put up so carefully. So why now? Why does this suddenly have this effect on her?
Why can't she stop heat from rising to her face every time Chloe says something nice to her? Why does her strawberry and peach scent send Beca's head spinning every time. And why can't she stop staring? Does she have feelings for Chloe? No, that can't be right. This can't be happening.
Beca has been aware of her sexuality only for about six months. And ever since then, she felt like a horny teenage boy with hormones jumping through the roof. Any time an attractive woman would walk by, she'd have a hard time keeping her gaze away from certain body parts. And changing in a room after practice with Bellas was always a very terrifying experience. What if they catch her staring, what if she makes somebody uncomfortable? She had a hard time accepting it.
She knew that half of the girls were queer or didn't have nothing against it and knew that it wouldn't change anything. But for some reason she couldn't bring herself to tell any of them. Not even Chloe. Only one person knew. Jessie. And the least she could do was tell him the truth after everything. She owed him that.
Chloe turned, grinning at Beca, her mouth still full with macaroni. Smug glint dancing behind her eyes.
“H-Heyyy!” Beca managed to choke out. Her words sounding more breathless and shaky than shed like. She had to clear her throat “That was mine!”.
Chloe put her hand in front of her mouth as she laughed. “Well some of us normal people don't eat straight from the pan. Theres this thing called plate and cutlery, ya' know.” She placed a quick kiss on the brunettes cheeks and walked around to Beca's other side. The small kitchen didn't give them enough room to move around without coming in contact with eachother, and Beca was cursing the tiny apartment for it.
The older woman opened the top cabinet and pulled down two plates. Hiding a smirk behind a innocent smile. The DJ recovered quickly. “I guess I'm just special then.”
Chloe laughed at that, placing another kiss on the brunette's other cheek. “Yes, you are.” She left the kitchen to set the table. Beca froze at the second kiss. One was occasional even with Chloe, but two? What is this? She felt her blood warm her face again with the unusualy high level of affection today.
She had enough for tonight. Maybe it was caused by the four redbulls and three coffees she consumed in the last 48hours. And the fact that she didn't have a good sleep for weeks because of her work at the studio, is probably not good news too.
She needs a good long shower to wash off all of the things she's been feeling right now. She hopes it would all go away by morning and with that she heads for her room. “Actually Chloe, I think I might call it a night for today. I'm just gonna' shower and head to bed.”
“Oh,” Chloe lifted her head. “Okay, good night then Becs'.”
“Night, Chlo.”
Beca undressed and stepped into the shower, hot water running down her skin, relaxing all her tense muscles. Something about it reminded her of Chloe's warm touch, her warm breath on her face, how close they were and how she almost...
“Stop it Beca!” She said to herself. “Get it together. Jeez, thats freaking Chloe youre thinking about. Suck it up dude!” she huffed angrily. Reaching for the faucet, she turned it to cold. She let out a yelp as the freezing cold water hit her skin, cooling off any unwanted feelings. She stood under the cold stream for solid five minutes, knowing damn well that her little body could get hypothermia any minute, she reluctantly stepped out.
Throwing on an oversized hoodie and a pair of sleeping shorts, Beca climbs into bed and stares at the ceiling replaying tonight's events in confusion as sleep crept on her.