Work Text:
The worst part might be that there is no one to blame. There is no higher being or the Force. There is nothing surrounding them. Yet, there weren’t any warning signs either. Obi-Wan was simply naive to think that this could have ended differently. Shared experiences and close proximity were never going to be enough to change Jango’s mind about the Jedi.
Deep down Obi-Wan knew this and yet, he had still hoped that it would be enough. That it somehow – against all odds –could be enough. He knew that Jango loved him and nothing he ever said in anger would change that. He’s sure that Jango knew this as well, yet it’ll never be enough to change their situation.
“Why is Kyr’tsad hunting you down?” Jango asks him when they’re huddled in a cave. It’s freezing here but it’s also their first good hiding spot that lasts longer than five hours, up until now at least. Considering that, he can’t complain about the cold too much. It could always be worse. He continuously has to remind himself of that. Not that their situation isn’t a reminder by itself, of course.
He doesn’t really know Jango, and has only met him three standard days ago while running from Death Watch. He got separated from Satine and his master five days ago. He doesn’t know where they are, just as they don’t know where he is. Or who he’s with now.
He doesn’t actually know who he’s with either. Just that the boy with him claims to be Mandalorian and the Force gave him no signs that he was lying when he said that. Although Obi-Wan knows that he left out some details. He can’t blame Jango though. After all, he did try to shoot him first and hasn’t been completely truthful about his own identity.
“Why are they hunting you down?” He retorts and Jango merely huffs. “You can’t answer my question with another question.”
“I wasn’t aware that there were rules to our conversations.”
“Not rules, just common sense.” Jango tells him.
“Which you don’t seem to possess judging by the fire you’re trying to start in a cave.” He shoots back.
“It’s cold.”
“I’m aware,” Obi-Wan grunts, “but smoke is a great way to let Death Watch know where we are. Not that it would matter though, seeing as we would probably die from smoke inhalation first.”
“Or I might shoot you.”
“I doubt that. You can’t take Death Watch on your own.”
“I’m willing to try.” Jango says.
Obi-Wan doesn’t bother himself with a response. He merely huffs when Jango tries to start the fire again and moves closer towards him. Body heat should work just as well.
Later, he’ll know that it speaks volumes that Jango doesn’t push him away.
Whenever Obi-Wan had thought about the end of his mission, during the rare nights of peace they had, he never imagined not having Jango by his side. It would have been unconventional and most likely cost him his place as a Jedi, but Jango became a part of who he was. A year together on the run was bound to cause a change. He never would have expected it to be so drastic, but sometimes these things just happen.
Despite what his master liked to tell him, there was more to life than just living in the moment. An important lesson, which could have even been able to change his current predicament.
He spent the past year living in the moment. Constantly on the run from Death Watch with a boy that risked his life to protect him and now can’t even stand to look him in the eyes. It’s as if they’re two strangers that happened to cross paths for the first time today. There’s none of the warm familiarity radiating off of Jango. Just the cold visor of his helmet and even with the helmet, Obi-Wan knows that Jango’s face is showing nothing but pure hatred.
“Where did you learn to use a blaster?” Jango asks him two months later. By now, he’s figured out that this is Jango’s idea of small talk. Some might call it a conversation but Obi-Wan knows that they aren’t quite there yet. At least according to Jango’s definition of a conversation. It took him a while to understand the difference.
“Here and there.” Obi-Wan answers, purposely keeping it vague.
Last week they had found an abandoned ship and hid in it. It wasn’t meant for two people, but they made it work. During their second night on the ship, Jango had told him about his father. The Force sang with the truth and Obi-Wan hated every second of it.
“That’s not an answer.” Jango huffs and Obi-Wan knows that he doesn’t believe him. Yet, it speaks volumes that he’s not calling him out on the lie. Or putting a blaster bolt between his eyes.
“Where did you learn?”
“My buir.”
“That’s not much of an answer either.” Obi-Wan says and leans back, closing his eyes. If Jango’s hand lingers on his thigh, that’s a worry for another day.
Sometimes, Obi-Wan didn’t believe that there would be an end to this mission. When Death Watch was onto them and they couldn’t rest for more than three hours at a time for weeks, he was convinced that this was going to be the end of him. He believed that he would die with Jango by his side, whether Jango would succumb to death was another question all on its own. But Obi-Wan thought that he was going to die, he had even made his peace with it.
Mandalore wasn’t that bad. He wouldn’t have been on his own and that is far more than he ever could have asked for. But death never came. It didn’t come when his blaster wound got infected or when Jango contracted that virus. It didn’t come when Death Watch tried to blow them into oblivion. It didn’t come when he got separated from his master a year ago and it won’t come now that he’s reunited with his master.
“How did they even find us here?” Jango huffs, hiding behind a tree. Obi-Wan is hiding behind his own tree while Death Watch are flying over them and attempting to circle them on the ground. He wishes he had an answer to that question.
Sometimes, late at night when Jango is already asleep he thinks about the implications it might have. The number of Death Watch members on them only ever appears to lower when they succeed in killing one of them. Otherwise, the same people are following them around. He hopes that they merely separated with their fellow members and are simultaneously hunting down Satine and his master. At least that way he could know whether they are still alive, even if he can’t speak to them.
“They’re never far behind. It was only a matter of time until they found us again.” Obi-Wan ultimately settles on telling him.
“How convenient that they found us right after you convinced me to go in this direction.” Jango hisses.
“Might I remind you that they shot at me first?” He points out, incredulously. Even after three months together he still has trouble comprehending the stupid things that come out of Jango’s mouth.
“Only because I pushed you.”
“You didn’t even see them. You didn’t know they were there until they shot at me,” Obi-Wan huffs, “Me, Jango. Me. Not you.”
“They could have been aiming for me. Maybe you distracted them so they would shoot you first.” Jango shrugs, looking up when two Death Watch members fly above his head. Obi-Wan doesn’t understand how they haven’t found them yet, but he’s relieved. The gash on his leg is bleeding again and he’d prefer to not have to run anytime soon.
“And then what? I’m dead and you’re on your own. I’m sure that sounds like a great plan to you.”
“Navigating this forest would certainly be easier without someone trying to lure me into a trap.”
“A trap in which I die?” Obi-Wan incredulously retorts. In situations like these, he wonders if Jango even hears the things he’s saying or merely likes the sound of his own voice.
“Clearly.”
“Why don’t you just shoot me then if I’m such a liability to you?”
“You make a great target.” Jango tells him and runs towards him. He slightly pushes Obi-Wan out of the way and pulls Obi-Wan’s blaster out of the holster. Jango’s blaster remains at his hip. Obi-Wan watches him as Jango waits until Death Watch is flying right above them again before he starts shooting at them. Obi-Wan immediately starts to fiddle for Jango’s blaster when they start shooting back, but Jango merely pushes Obi-Wan behind him and continues shooting into the sky. Obi-Wan has half a mind to point out that he has yet to hit one of them when Jango does precisely that. Above all, it infuriates him. Leave it to Jango to be such a show off all the time. The momentary confusion of the Death Watch members is enough for Jango to grab his wrist and drag Obi-Wan along behind him as they run deeper into the forest.
Occasionally Obi-Wan had wondered what Jango thought about their situation. Even after a year together, he knew that there were things they couldn’t talk about. The end of this mission was just one of few. He entertained the thought of telling Jango the truth about who he was, but knew that it would not have changed anything. They would be in this predicament regardless of what was said, it merely would have been months prior to now.
“Master, I’m glad to see that you and Satine are well.” Obi-Wan said, purposely trying to ignore Jango’s presence.
“As am I, Padawan.”
“Jetii scum.” Jango seethed.
“Why are you on Manda’yaim?” Jango asks a few weeks after they first meet. It’s the middle of the night and Obi-Wan should be asleep. They agreed to take watch in shifts so they both get to sleep, but they have yet to follow through on it. Jango has yet to allow Obi-Wan to stand behind him as well. Overall, this alliance is nothing but a terrible idea as of now.
“Travelling.” He vaguely answers him. The Force has been letting him know since he met Jango that telling him the truth would be a terrible idea and as much as it hurts him to admit, he knows that. Despite the small progress they have been making, it was still too early.
“Travelling where? Around Kyr’tsad camps? Did you steal their ugly armor while you were there? Is that why they’re hunting you?” Jango suggests, which is something he’s been doing a lot recently. He absolutely despises when Jango throws out his suggestions. Obi-Wan hasn’t explained to him yet why he’s being hunted. For some reason he can’t bring himself to lie to Jango.
“No. I was travelling with my father.” Obi-Wan tells him, as far to the truth as possible.
“Kyr’tsad member?” Jango guesses, looking at Obi-Wan. The disgust that crosses over Obi-Wan’s face at that suggestion is enough to make Jango laugh.
“No.” He deadpans.
“Where is he then?”
“Do you think I’d be here with you if I knew that?” Obi-Wan hisses, slowly growing agitated. He has half a mind to ask Jango where his father is but he can’t quite fight Death Watch off on his own. While he also can’t prove it, he’s convinced that Jango enjoys riling him up. With all his insufferable questions and unfounded accusations.
“I don’t know why you’re here at all,” Jango tells him, “I don’t even know who you are.”
“I don’t know who you are either or why I’m here with you.” Obi-Wan huffs.
“Aru’e be ner aru’e ner besbe’trayc.” Jango shrugs.
“What does that even mean?” Obi-Wan asks, once again not able to keep the frustration out of his voice.
“The enemy of my enemy is my weapon.” Jango grins, pulling his helmet back on before pushing Obi-Wan over.
Obi-Wan catches himself, glaring daggers at Jango and ready to let him know just how insufferable his company truly is before he catches sight of Death Watch. He quickly gets up and catches up with Jango.
“Couldn’t you have told me that they’re here?”
“Why weren’t you paying attention?” Jango retorts.
Even with his helmet on, Obi-Wan knows that he’s grinning.
Absolutely infuriating.
“How is Satine doing?”
“Better than you it seems,” Qui-Gon said, warily looking at the Mandalorian standing behind his Padawan.
“That’s good to hear.” Obi-Wan sighed. Logically he knew that he should be happy that despite everything that happened, the mission was a success.
After four months together, Obi-Wan thinks that he understands Jango. Or at the very least, he is as close to understanding him as one can come. He knows that Jango prefers to walk on his left side and that he doesn’t want to talk about his family. He also knows that Jango is from Concord Dawn and even that he was adopted. He knows that Jango can’t sleep unless he’s checked their surroundings thrice and that he still doesn’t allow Obi-Wan to walk behind him. Obi-Wan also knows that Jango prefers to sleep at the entrances of caves and that at times, he can be incredibly stupid.
“Tion’jorhaa’i Mando’a?” Jango asks him and Obi-Wan loses the little faith he had in Jango.
“It’s been four months, Jango.” He sighs.
“That doesn’t answer my question.” Jango tells him and Obi-Wan comes to the painful realization that he still doesn’t understand Jango’s rules or ideas of a conversation. He was foolish to believe that he ever got that far with him.
“I speak as much Mando’a as you’ve been willing to teach me, Jango. Or have you already forgotten that you’ve been teaching me Mando’a because I do not speak it?” Obi-Wan grunts out, emphasizing the last few words.
Jango just turns his head to look at Obi-Wan and grins, “I just wanted to make sure that you were serious about it.”
“After four months?”
“Hmm,” He hums with this stupid, absolutely infuriating grin on his face, “I had to make sure that you didn’t lie.”
“About speaking Mando’a?”
“Yes.”
“Why would I lie about that?” Obi-Wan asks, frustrated. No matter how many times Jango says stupid things like that, a part of him still dies whenever he has to deal with it. At least this suggestion isn’t as outlandish as all his other ones. A small victory, but a victory nonetheless in the bigger picture. It certainly doesn’t feel like one though, when Jango opens his mouth next.
“I don’t know, Obi,” He shrugs, “But maybe you’re here to spy on me and report everything I say back to Kyr’tsad.”
“Say what exactly to Death Watch? You barely talk to me. If you do, more than half of the time it is absolute nonsense and you are simply infuriating. If I was a part of Death Watch on some secret mission to spy on you, I would have given up months ago. You are insufferable, selfish, and frankly the complete opposite of the ideal companion for our situation.” Obi-Wan says, growing more and more agitated. That much about small victories.
Jango merely laughs at him, “you wouldn’t be a good spy, anyways.”
And Obi-Wan is a Jedi. Even after four months on the run with Jango, he is still a Jedi. Yet, as he pushes Jango off the rock they’ve been sitting on and sees the millisecond of hurt cross Jango’s face when he falls to the ground, Obi-Wan finds joy in it. Sometimes, a Jedi has to find pleasure in another’s misfortune.
But he’s spent months talking with Jango. He knows what Jango thinks about Satine and the rule Mandalore will undoubtedly be under from now on. He can’t even blame Jango for his feelings. Or Satine for her pacifism. He understands her desire for it just as much as he understands the Mandalorian’s desire for its absence. After a year together, he finds himself to be on Jango’s side as well. While Satine’s pacifism isn’t wrong per se, Mandalore is the wrong planet for it. She’d be better off ruling a pacifist society.
However, these tribulations are beyond his power. All that’s left for him to do is to say goodbye to the boy that based on the Force would rather shoot him in the head than ever exchange another word with him. He’s sure his master can feel this as well, yet he’s immensely grateful that he’s not intervening.
“I will go and prepare our ship, Padawan.”
“I’ll be there soon.” Obi-Wan attempted to smile but it looked more like a grimace. It was definitely reminiscent of the first time Jango attempted to smile at him.
“What are you doing?” Obi-Wan incredulously asks.
Jango and him have been becoming closer, in a way. It’s most likely still an aftereffect of the virus Jango contracted, but Obi-Wan is intent on enjoying it while it lasts. The past two weeks with Jango on the brim of death were terrible. It showed him that he can’t take Death Watch on his own but also that he has somewhere along the way grown accustomed to Jango and his company. He most certainly does not enjoy the Mandalorian’s company, but it is nice to not be on his own.
It’s not as if he has someone to share a conversation with and a part of him did enjoy the absence of Jango’s stupid questions, but he’s glad that he’s not on his own. And Jango isn’t that bad, after all. At least he isn’t whenever he’s not trying to kill him.
“I’m smiling.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. What the kark do you think I’m doing?” Jango retorts, setting his face back to its usual scowl. It certainly does make him look more like the boy he’s spent the past seven months with.
“It’s just,” he laughs, “it looks like you’re in pain.”
“You’re about to be in pain.” Jango huffs, picking up a stone and throwing it in Obi-Wan’s direction.
The stone lands on his chest and bounces right back off the beskar’gam he’s been wearing for the past few weeks. He doesn’t enjoy wearing the colors of Death Watch but it’s come in clutch a few times. Yet, he can’t wait until Jango is back to full health so they can continue to repaint his armor with the berries they’ve been crushing up.
Even better, once Jango is back to full health, he’ll hopefully stop doing these weird things like smiling at him.
Obi-Wan watched as his master left before turning around to look at Jango. He was still standing there and his blaster was in his holster. Maybe all is not yet lost.
“Jango.” He sighed.
There were a million things he should say, just as there were a million he shouldn't say. He doesn’t even know where to start. Nothing he could say is good enough to change anything. They’re stuck on a path that’s reached its end and will never be able to intertwine again.
“Do you ever think about how much longer you can endure this?” Jango asks him in the dark. Obi-Wan should have been asleep for at least an hour by now but the wound in his side is throbbing and he can almost feel the infection spread throughout his body.
They’ve been on the run for six months now and Obi-Wan is tired. There’s a bone deep ache in his body and he just wants it to end. He doesn’t want to have to watch his surroundings and be mindful of every step he takes. He just wants to sleep in his bed and stay there for a minimum of three weeks. He’s even reached the point where he would willingly spend a week in the Halls of Healing. Whatever is necessary to heal the stab wound in his side. He truly despises his master for not teaching him anything about Force healing right about now.
“As long as I have to.” He merely responds. Even after all this time, there are still some things he can’t share with Jango. Arguably, his personal thoughts are relatively low on the list, but it’s Jango. Jango, who time and time again proves that he has selective hearing and Obi-Wan’s never been too good at talking about his feelings.
“You can barely sit up anymore.” Jango frowns.
It’s an unusual sight. If this was anybody else, Obi-Wan would say that they’re concerned, worried even. But it’s Jango. Jango doesn’t possess these emotions. No matter what he might say or do, deep down he only cares about himself.
Or at least that’s what Obi-Wan tells himself to make Jango’s hand stroking through his hair more bearable. He can’t think about it for too long for fear of following down a rabbit hole he won’t be able to come out of.
“I’ll survive, Jango,” Obi-Wan says, turning around to face him, “and it was worth it. We can try to attack them from the inside now.”
“How was it worth it? You almost died while trying to get your hands on their beskar’gam.”
“Sometimes we have to make sacrifices.” He sighs.
Jango merely hums and continues stroking his hand through Obi-Wan’s hair.
They might not see eye to eye on most things, but even they can’t deny that there is something between them. However, as long as neither of them mentions it, they’ll survive.
“Jetii scum.” Jango returned, still seething.
“I’m sorry.”
“I should kill you.” Jango decided, placing his hand on his blaster. The same hand that was holding Obi-Wan’s own just a few hours ago. The hand that was running through his hair whenever they could rest. The same hand that pulled him out of the way of countless blaster bolts is now the hand that could end his life. Obi-Wan wouldn’t even fight back if Jango decides to follow through with his threat.
“What’s your plan?” Jango asks him.
It’s been a little less than two weeks but Obi-Wan already can’t stand Jango’s company. He is insufferable and it wouldn’t surprise him if Jango was only still by his side to annoy him. No matter what Obi-Wan suggests, Jango finds an issue with it.
Obi-Wan suggested retracing his steps back to where he got separated from his master and Satine – not that Jango knows that – but Jango shut it down immediately and instead went further into the forest. And what choice did Obi-Wan have, really? He can’t survive on his own and he needs the help.
Three days later, when Jango had to admit defeat, Obi-Wan suggested walking towards the North but Jango just had to walk towards the West. They ended up right inside of a Death Watch camp and if Obi-Wan wasn’t a Jedi, he may have killed him. They miraculously made it out alive but now they’re stranded and neither of them knows where exactly they are.
“Since when do you care about what I want?”
“Can you just try to help me for once?” Jango asks, visibly irritated.
“I’ve been trying to help you since we met,” Obi-Wan huffs, “you just think that you know everything better than me.”
“What’s the plan then? Stay here and wait until Kyr’tsad finds us?”
“Obviously not.” He replies, deadpanned.
“Where do you want to go then?” The Mandalorian asks, dripping with sarcasm.
Obi-Wan doesn’t know how he’s supposed to survive long enough to find his master again if this is what he’s forced to deal with. Even growing up with Quinlan hasn’t been enough to prepare him for the Mandalorian. The only hope of escape he currently has is that Jango’s stupidity might kill him long before Death Watch will ever have a chance to.
“I don’t know, Jango. Where are we?” Obi-Wan asks, exaggerated and gestures at the identical trees they’re surrounded by. He’s sure that they’ve already passed these exact trees four times today but he very well could be wrong about that, seeing how every tree looks the exact same.
“Alright, I get it. We got lost because of me and you’re mad. Fine,” Jango shrugs, “but where do you want to go now? We can’t stay here in the open.”
“Are you willing to listen?”
“Are you willing to talk?” Jango retorts, annoyed and Obi-Wan rolls his eyes.
Absolutely insufferable company.
“We should try to find our way back to Sundari. Death Watch won’t follow us there and we’d have better odds at surviving.” Obi-Wan suggests carefully. The Mandalorian immediately rolls his eyes and huffs. It truly is as if nothing Obi-Wan says is ever good enough for him. Infuriating.
“Sundari is a bad idea.”
“Following you is a bad idea.” Obi-Wan huffs and starts walking back to where they came from. He doesn’t wait to see if Jango will follow him. He doesn’t care either way.
Deep down, a part of him already knows that Jango will follow him, though. Without a doubt.
“You can,” Obi-Wan shrugged, gesturing around their empty space, “but it won’t change anything. It won’t undo the last year.”
“It’ll make me feel better.”
“For a few days maybe.” He shot back. It’s an all too familiar argument, but this time around it stings more than it ever could before.
“That’s good enough for me.” Jango argued.
Five months after their first meeting, something changes in Jango. It takes Obi-Wan a while to notice, because granted, Jango has always been a little weird, but this is extreme. Even for him.
“What did you just say?” He asks, even though he’s pretty sure that he heard it correctly. It’s just that the question came from Jango, which is why he knows that he must be hallucinating. One more thing to add to the list of things that are already going wrong for him.
“I asked you how you are feeling?” Jango repeats the question and Obi-Wan just looks at him.
“Why would you do that?”
“What?” Jango asks, confused, “I’m trying to have a conversation with you. Isn’t that what people do when they’re constantly around each other?”
“Oh,” Obi-Wan says, equally confused, “I wasn’t aware that you knew what a conversation is.”
“Forget it.” Jango huffs.
“No. No. We can have a conversation, if you want to. Would you like to talk about your feelings next? Anything that’s been bothering you recently?” Obi-Wan gleefully suggests. Jango’s scowl in return only spurs him on further.
“You’re bothering me.”
“Well, Jango, that’s not a nice thing to say.” He disapprovingly shakes his head.
“You want to know what else isn’t nice?”
“Not particularly.” Obi-Wan tells him but Jango has already picked up his blaster and throws it at Obi-Wan’s head. He merely laughs.
They’re definitely making some progress.
“What about afterwards? When it stops being good enough for you? I might be a Jedi but once I’m dead, I’m dead. You couldn’t undo killing me. Regret wouldn’t bring me back to life once I’m one with the Force.” Obi-Wan explained. However, the mention of the Force only appeared to rile Jango up further. He sighed. He was sure that he had learned the rules of their conversations, but apparently he was back at square one.
“Why would I ever want to undo it? I’ve already killed before, what’s one Jetii going to change?” Jango laughed, pulling the blaster out of its holster.
“What’s the plan when we reach Sundari?” Jango asks him a few days later. It’s arguably the first sensible thing that’s come out of his mouth in weeks and Obi-Wan wishes he could celebrate it. However, he refrains from doing so out of fear of scaring Jango back into his stupid suggestions.
“I haven’t thought about that yet,” Obi-Wan says instead, purposely keeping his thoughts on the matter to himself.
Ultimately, once he reaches Sundari, he has to try to contact his Master and the Order to let them know that their mission has failed. The problem about that though is that Jango still doesn’t know that he’s a Jedi. The Force is still letting him know that he can’t reveal his identity and Obi-Wan doesn’t know what to do.
If they ever do reach Sundari, he’ll have to split up with Jango and leave the Mandalorian to fend for himself against Death Watch. It hurts him to think about that and he would rather not, but he is a Jedi. Jedi have to make sacrifices at times and leaving Jango behind will be one he has to make.
“Why are we going there then?” He asks, exasperated and Obi-Wan feels as if they are back at square one. There’s only so many times he can have this same conversation with Jango.
“Where else are we supposed to go? Do you want to visit another Death Watch camp, perhaps?” Obi-Wan suggests, overtly sarcastic. For once, it isn’t lost on the Mandalorian but he doesn’t care all that much about it either. Strange.
“Sundari is a bad idea.”
“You’ve already said that,” Obi-Wan rolls his eyes, “but it’s our best chance at survival. If you don’t want to go there, leave. But I will try to make it to Sundari.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to go to Sundari.” Jango quietly admits.
“What exactly is your problem, then?”
“The New Mandalorians and their hut’uun of a leader.” Jango tells him and Obi-Wan stops walking, whipping around to stare at him. “What?”
“I don’t agree with Kryze’s policies or the New Mandalorians.” Jango mildly explains but he can sense through the Force that there’s more to it that he’s not revealing.
“Are you a True Mandalorian?” Obi-Wan sighs. It would be more than just fitting that not only does he fail at his mission, he also befriends the enemy. At least it’s not someone who’s actively trying to hinder his mission. That has to count for something.
“What do you know about that?” He defensively questions the Jedi.
“Nothing,” Obi-Wan quickly deflects, “my father told me about the Civil War before we came to Mandalore.”
“Is he Mandalorian?”
“No. He’s from Coruscant.”
“You’re from The Galactic Republic?” Jango laughs. Obi-Wan doesn’t understand what’s supposed to be funny about that but he doesn’t have to. It seems like a Jango thing and everytime he tries to understand it too hard, he loses some of his will to live. Which, given their current situation, is rather unfortunate.
“Yes.”
“And yet you’re here.”
“That wasn’t exactly planned, in case you haven’t noticed.” Obi-Wan scoffs.
“Hm.”
“What’s your issue with Kryze?” He carefully asks. It’s direct enough to guarantee some kind of answer – unless Jango decides to be an ass and ignore him again – and vague enough to hopefully not arouse any suspicion.
Obi-Wan is aware that everyone else would just consider this a normal, regular topic of conversation. But it’s Jango. There is nothing ordinary about that boy.
“Mandalorians aren’t pacifists.” Jango settles on replying after a few minutes of silence and Obi-Wan takes it for what it is.
It’s not an ideal point of view, but by far better than Death Watch’s view of Satine.
Obi-Wan’s eyes were transfixed on it as Jango pressed the blaster into his chest. It’s by far not the first time he’s found himself on the other side of Jango’s blaster, but he’s aware that this very well could be the last.
A small part of him even wished that it was. As selfish as that thought is, if Jango were to kill him now, he wouldn’t have to deal with the fallout. He wouldn’t have to relearn how to live without Jango by his side. He wouldn't have to relearn how to alert his nervous system that he’s safe and no longer on the run. He wouldn’t have to learn how to move on and forget the past year.
But it’s Jango. The boy who spent the past year by his side and who has proven over and over again that he is worth the fight. He is worth the pain. In the end, he is worth it all. He is worth dying for, just as he is worth living for.
Eight months on the run together are bound to change some things. Obi-Wan thought he would be immune to it but somewhere along the way, he stopped seeing Jango as this annoying parasite he can’t get rid of. Suddenly, Jango is so much more.
He’s his sun in the darkness. He’s his reason to continue fighting everyday. He’s the reason he hasn’t given up yet. For what might be the first time in his life, Obi-Wan feels as if he is worth it to someone. As if he is enough and doesn’t have to put up some act to prove that he could be worth the effort. Jango makes him feel that way with all the little things he does.
They don’t talk about the shift, though. Obi-Wan can’t even find it in himself to blame Jango for avoiding the conversation. Talking about it would make it real and neither one of them are quite there yet. He’s not exactly excited at the prospect of having the conversation one day, anyways. They are simply two boys on the run, and a little more, perhaps. Yet, Jango still manages to surprise him.
“I don’t think I’m capable of love.” Jango tells him when they’re huddled together in a cave. This time, they’re seeking out each other's bodies. They’re purposely seeking the warmth of the other. It’s a vast improvement from the first time. As is the fire in front of their cave that won’t lead to their deaths. No thanks to Jango, of course.
“Everyone is capable of love.” Obi-Wan retorts.
“I don’t think I am.”
“I didn’t either,” Obi-Wan says, “for a long time, I didn’t think that I was capable or deserving of love, but you proved me wrong. You show me everyday that I deserve to be loved. You show me that I am enough and matter. I don’t have to be merely tolerated by my environment, and neither do you, Jango. We’re both deserving and more than capable of love. Even if others refuse to see it, we’re all that matters.”
“Ni kar’tayli gar darasuum.” Jango whispers in the dark and Obi-Wan presses his hand.
He knows what that means in Basic. It’s all that matters.
“Jango.” Obi-Wan sighed, stepping towards him. The blaster pressed uncomfortably into his chest but he remained where he’s at. Even once he saw Jango’s finger on the trigger.
“Ni ceta.” He said, as sincere as he could. While he meant it, it wasn’t hard to see that Jango was uninterested in what he had to say. The worst part was still that he can’t even blame him for it. He just wished that he could undo all the half truths he told throughout the last year.
“Nayc. Shut up.” Jango bellowed.
“Ni kar’tayli gar darasuum.” Obi-Wan whispered, desperate.
He still remembered the first time he said it. As well as the first time Jango said it. It wasn’t even that long ago that Jango said it the last time. He only wished that he had known that it would be the last time. For now, he can only be grateful that he can’t see the hatred on Jango’s face. It would only put more pressure onto his chest and he’s convinced that he would stop breathing.
Seven weeks on the run should be long enough to gain at least some kind of trust. Since their first meeting, Obi-Wan hasn’t pointed his blaster at Jango or given any signs that he might betray their alliance. While he’s not foolish enough to believe that he gained Jango’s trust, he did think that they have reached some common ground as allies.
Considering that he now has Jango’s blaster pressed into his lower back, he clearly was more than just a little wrong about that assumption.
“What are you doing?” Obi-Wan asks, standing still. There’s no point in aggravating Jango any further. Although, he’s not quite sure what exactly he’s done in the first place.
“Who are you?”
“What?” He incredulously asks. They covered this topic weeks ago and there’s no reason for Jango to think that he’s lying. Well, omitting the truth, really. Jango has never outrightly asked him if he is a Jedi, after all.
“Who are you?” Jango repeats, applying pressure to the hand holding the blaster.
“That hurts,” Obi-Wan needlessly points out, “and what are you talking about?”
“I want to know who you are.”
“I’m Obi-Wan, Jango. Have been since we met.”
“I don’t believe you.” Jango decides with all the righteousness in the world. Infuriating.
“Why?”
“Kyr’tsad always shoots at me first.” The Mandalorian argues and Obi-Wan is simply fed up with him and their situation.
“Yes.” Obi-Wan rolls his eyes. He can’t believe that they’re doing this again, “that might be because they always attack us from behind and you refuse to let me walk behind you. It would be a little weird if they shot at me first, considering that you’re usually covering my body from behind and they can’t see me.”
“That’s still suspicious.” Jango retorts. He presses the blaster into the Jedi's back one last time for good measure before putting it back into his holster. Obi-Wan merely rolls his eyes. Absolutely insufferable company. He can only hope that Jango’s declining ability of rational thinking isn’t contagious. Someone has to get them out of here.
“You’re an idiot.” He settles on telling him and continues walking. Hopefully Jango’s weirdness comes to an end soon.
“Liar.” He accused Obi-Wan.
“I’m not. Ni ceta.”
“Nakar’ad.” Jango merely hissed.
“I’m not a stranger. I’m the same person you’ve spent the last year with,” Obi-Wan sighed, putting his hand on top of Jango’s, “Ni ceta. I never meant to deceive you but I knew that I couldn’t tell you that I’m a Jetii. I do love you, Jango. Nothing will change that. Ni ceta. I couldn’t tell you the truth.”
After nine months, Obi-Wan and Jango have perfected the act of fighting side by side. They know each other's strengths and weaknesses and even without the Force, Obi-Wan can anticipate every move Jango will make. Even when he runs off and leaves Obi-Wan open for Death Watch to attack, he can trust Jango and figure out what he will do.
Yet, there are still some occasions where everything appears to go wrong. The day started out perfectly normal. They finally finished painting over Obi-Wan’s beskar’gam yesterday and were ready to vacate the cave to move further towards what they’re now convinced is Sundari when Death Watch came out of nowhere.
Immediately, they both hastily put their beskar’gam on and started fighting back. While they’re still outnumbered in every encounter, they have been starting to gain the upper hand in some encounters. It’s much more than they ever could have dreamed of.
“Hey,” Jango calls out over the sound of blasters, “I’ll try to sneak up behind them.”
“I’ll distract them.” Obi-Wan says and steps out into the open view. Immediately, all the fire is concentrated on him. He feels Jango leave his hiding spot and can sense him making his way behind Death Watch’s lines. There’s not a single blaster pointed towards him and it’s simply ridiculous how easy it is.
Until Jango suddenly comes rushing back and pulls Obi-Wan to the ground with him. Next to them, one of Kyr’tsad’s rockets penetrates the ground and explodes. The explosion momentarily confuses them both and knocks their beskar’gam loose. Apparently, they’re both sloppy when it comes to properly securing it at a moment's notice. Or, as Jango has taken a liking to say recently, they’re simply tired.
The blaster bolts don’t stop coming in as they both hurry to get most parts of their armor back on and the blasters into their hands. In hindsight, it couldn’t have been more than a few seconds but it felt like an eternity until they were ready to continue fighting. The blaster fire doesn’t last too long after that. Jango manages to kill one Death Watch member and Obi-Wan injures two with blaster bolts before Death Watch decides to retreat for now.
Just a year ago, the thought of casually injuring another being would have made Obi-Wan nauseous but it’s become a part of his day to day life now. Sometimes he fears the implications this might have, but these thoughts always remain to be a worry for some other day.
“Are you alright?” Jango asks, carefully helping Obi-Wan back onto his feet.
“Yes. Are you?”
“‘Lek.”
“Good.” Obi-Wan smiles, pressing Jango’s hand. It’s become their thing to say everything they don’t think they can say aloud. Especially right after a battle.
Jango takes off his helmet and returns the smile. He looks down to take Obi-Wan’s hand back into his when he catches sight of the vambrace on his left arm.
“I think that’s yours.”
“You’re a liar,” Jango seethed, shook Obi-Wan’s hand off of his and put more pressure on the blaster, digging it deeper into Obi-Wan’s chest, “I don’t know who you are. The past year was nothing but a lie.”
“I meant every word I ever said.”
“Everything you said was nothing but a lie.” Jango seethed and pulled the trigger.
In the end, it takes Jango eleven months to breach that topic of conversation. They’re getting closer to Sundari every day and by now have perfected the art of outsmarting Death Watch. Getting closer to civilization definitely helps, but Death Watch has been getting sloppier as well recently. Obi-Wan doesn’t dare to voice that thought aloud, in fear of speaking the opposite into the universe, but he’s relieved that they’ve seemingly found something else to occupy their time with. He has been more fed up than usual with their situation recently.
Jango isn’t faring too well anymore, either. The injuries are catching up to both of them and the lack of sleep is horrendous. Obi-Wan wants nothing more than a warm bed and a meal he can eat in peace. At the very least, the overall situation between him and Jango continuously improves. He doesn’t quite think that they’ll ever put a name to it, but he’s more than alright with their current situation.
After almost a whole year together, Obi-Wan doesn’t even see a point in putting a name to what they have. They’re both as happy as they can be, given their circumstances, and taking it day by day. Although, the implication of the silver vambrace he’s been wearing isn’t lost on him. It doesn’t appear to be lost on Jango, either.
“Obi-Wan.” Jango says, sitting up against the rock behind them. Obi-Wan hums and looks up at him.
Jango’s hand is fiddling with his – Obi-Wan’s – left vambrace while he’s thoughtfully looking down at the Jedi’s head in his lap. Obi-Wan moves when he catches sight of Jango’s facial expression and sits up against the rock, leaning against Jango’s shoulder. Jango in turn takes his hand into his lap and intertwines their fingers. Obi-Wan presses his hand.
“Swear the riduurok with me.” Jango says and Obi-Wan recoils, sitting up straight against the rock. There’s none of the humor he was expecting to find on Jango’s face and his hopeful expression causes Obi-Wan to feel nauseous. This is a terrible idea.
“What?”
“Please,” Jango whispers, “we spent every day for the past year together. Even if we make it out of here, I don’t want to leave your side. I want your face to be the first and last thing I see each day. I want to share my life with you, Obi-Wan. I want to go wherever you go. I have nothing left for me on Manda’yaim. My life hasn’t been happening on Manda’yaim for a long time. It took me a while to understand it all and it scares me to admit this, but my life is happening wherever you may be. I want to share my life with you. I want to take the risk of getting burned, I want to grow old with you. I want to get to love every part of you, for better or worse. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, but being with you makes me feel whole. You were patient throughout it all and never turned your back on me. You took the time to cognize my being and I want to spend the rest of my life memorizing who you are.”
“Jango.” Obi-Wan merely says and somehow it’s enough. More than enough in some aspects and by far not enough in others, but it is enough for them and the here and now. After all, his master has always taught him to live in the moment.
“Ni kar’tayli gar darasuum.” Jango says, pressing Obi-Wan’s hand.
And Obi-Wan can think of a million reasons why he shouldn’t do this, why he should walk away. But, attachment has always been his greatest weakness. And he has been living in a forest for close to a year now with Jango. It was bound to happen eventually.
“Yes.”
“Repeat after me.” Jango smiles and Obi-Wan suddenly forgets why this is a terrible idea.
“Mhi solus tome.” The Mandalorian begins, taking Obi-Wan’s hands into his.
“Mhi solus dar’tome.”
“Mhi me’dinui an.”
“Mhi ba’juri verde.” He says, and leans in to kiss him.
At the back of his mind, he still thinks that this is a terrible idea, though.
Obi-Wan tensed.
He had been shot before. He knows what it feels like, or at the very least what it was supposed to feel like. But there was no burn, no all consuming pain. Just him and Jango’s finger on the trigger of his blaster.
It’s almost been a whole year and despite all of the changes they’ve gone through, some things refuse to change permanently. Such as Jango’s insistence to start a fire in a cave. By now, Obi-Wan is more than aware that Jango does in fact know better, but he doesn’t have it in him to complain about it anymore. If he dies in this cave, he’ll die with his riduur at his side. There are worse things that could happen to him.
“What? Are you not going to lecture me about the smoke?” Jango asks when he notices his riduur’s eyes on his back.
“Are you going to listen?” Obi-Wan humors him.
“‘Lek.”
“We’re going to die of smoke inhalation. You’re killing us.” Obi-Wan tells him deadpanned and turns to look at the state of the fire. It hasn’t been ignited yet. It does feel good to know that there are things Jango seemingly cannot accomplish, he muses.
“Nonsense. Why would I ever want to kill you?” Jango emphasises, deeply disgusted by the mere thought of ever wanting to kill his riduur. He wants to spend his life with him. Killing him would be detrimental to achieving this.
“You’ve tried to in the past.” Obi-Wan points out and Jango huffs.
“I’ll never try again,” Jango assures him, “ni kar’tayli gar darasuum.”
“That’s hard to believe when you’re actively trying to start a fire that ultimately will lead to my death.”
“I would never let anything happen to you.” He promises.
“Put out your ridiculous fire then and come over here.” Obi-Wan grumbles and holds out his arm for Jango.
Jango finally abandons his built firepit and lays down next to his riduur, wrapping his arm over his waist. Obi-Wan in turn arranges himself until his head is laying on Jango’s chest and their arms are fully wrapped around each other.
“I guess cuddling could work as well.” Jango grins and even after a year, he is still absolutely infuriating at times.
“Fuck you.” Jango said, putting his blaster back into his holster.
“Jango.”
“Nayc. I don’t know who you are and I have no interest in finding out either,” Jango told him, “Just leave. Go and leave Manda’yaim and never look back.”
“Ni kar’tayli gar darasuum.” Obi-Wan desperately said. But Jango merely turned around and walked away from him and everything they had.
He just needs one more minute to try and explain it all. One more minute to prove that the last year was real. One more minute to prove that this wasn’t some elaborate scheme to trick Jango. He just needs one more minute to prove that he is in love with Jango. One more minute to prove that what they have is worth fighting for and doesn’t have to end now. Just as Jango needs one more minute to remember that this was all real and not a lie.
Yet, they ran out of time. There isn’t a minute that can undo today, no trick of the Force or a higher being that can undo this. There is no explanation to undo the damage. Just as there are no odds they could beat. There’s just the here and now and this one moment where it all falls apart.
It’s been two days and Obi-Wan is already exhausted. The explosion rocked him to his core and not knowing where his master or Satine are, are both factors contributing to his already steadily decreasing mood. The injuries he sustained in the explosion continuously open up again because he can’t rest without Death Watch being on him within what feels like mere minutes. He keeps on running in the direction he thinks they came from, but he truly doesn’t remember where he is. He’s been wandering through the forest for the past two days with no chance of stopping anytime soon.
The only thing he knows for sure currently is that Death Watch is shooting at him. He got lucky during the aftermath of the explosion and was able to grab one of their blasters. At the very least, he is able to defend himself. Or he’s simply prolonging his impending death. He still isn’t quite sure about how long the Force can continue to sustain him.
Through the trees in front of him he can make out a figure and positions the blaster at his thigh, ready to shoot if he has to. All he can tell for sure is that the figure is wearing Mandalorian armor. It’s not the typical color of Death Watch but that doesn’t have to mean anything. He’s encountered enough people that tried to kill one of them to know this by now.
When the figure in front of him takes the blaster out of their holster, Obi-Wan makes the heavy hearted decision to shoot into the tree in front of them. He can’t bring himself to shoot directly at them and sincerely hopes that this is a thought that he will never have to grow accustomed to.
In return, the figure puts the blaster in their hand and shoots at Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan uses the Force to dodge the bolt before it can hit him. Immediately, there are more coming at him from behind and even without looking, he instinctively knows that it’s Death Watch.
He has no other choice than to run in the direction of the stranger. Maybe he’ll get lucky and they’re forgiving, considering their circumstances, he muses. Instead of his wish coming true, what he sees is now a boy around his age shooting at him. He can’t find it in himself to blame him for that. Behind him, Death Watch are now shooting at both of them. The boy notices it right away and gets ahead of him, using Obi-Wan as a cover for himself. Rather rude, if you ask him, but again, he can’t fault the boy for wanting to protect himself. If Obi-Wan wasn’t a Jedi he probably would be doing the same.
“You’re not a part of Death Watch, right?” Obi-Wan asks the boy when they make their way around the same tree for cover. He doesn’t get a reply but wasn’t expecting one either. As long as he doesn’t get killed, it’s fine. At least it should be fine. It hopefully will be fine.
He can make out the familiar sounds of the rockets starting and groans. He most likely won’t survive another explosion and given that they are too incompetent to handle their own weapons – his currently still bleeding wounds being the proof of that – he probably will die.
The boy next to him turns around to look at him. He looks him up and down and even without having seen himself, Obi-Wan knows that it’s not a pretty sight right now.
“Are you?”
“No. My name’s Obi-Wan,” he introduces himself, “they’re trying to kill me.”
“Jango.” The boy grunts and shoots one of the Death Watch members in the thigh.
He should probably stick to his side, Obi-Wan muses. It would be his best chance at survival and after all, what’s the worst that could happen?
It’s just Jango and Obi-Wan at the crosspath that’s bound to separate them. Just two boys forced to forget the love they hold for each other. Obi-Wan can only hope that he will find him again someday.