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"You stupid bitch," Jason grins, crooning across at Damian on the small marble bench. "You goddamn stupid little bitch."
"Jason." Ra's, meditating on the pristine stone balcony carved into the side of the compound's mountain, cracked a wrinkled old eye open to shoot a glare at him through the open curtains, regal red and gold fabric swaying slightly in the dull breeze floating through the desert. Jason looked over at him, letting his hand of cards droop as Damian scowled furiously, picking up four more for his own collection. He blanched indignantly, squinting.
"Fuck off!" He shut down instantly. "Last week you sent us both on those solo missions and said if either of us failed then we should just commit seppuku and not come back. You don't get to tell me not to be mean when you suicide-bait your own grandchildren."
"I build character in my heirs." Ra's claimed dryly, turning back to face the sun. Inwardly, Jason wondered whether he was skilled enough to sling a card and cut through that back combover the man was sporting. "You are just an imbecile."
"You tell him, grandfather." Damian mumbled absently, slapping down his card. "Plus two."
Jason slapped another right down on top of it, turning back to the game. "Plus four, Dennis the menace. Uno."
"I will throw you back in the pit while you sleep."
"Bring it on, pepper-face, let's go."
Damian paused, looking at him in bafflement. "Pepper face? What-?"
"Man," Jason sighed, resigned, looking at the complete incomprehensibility on his younger brother's face. "I need to sneak more movies in here for you. Surfs Up is iconic."
"And who on earth is Dennis?" Damian continued. "Why am I being denigrated to his title?"
Jason shook his head sadly, bringing up his hand to slap down his final card. Just as he placed his four of diamonds down, decimating Damian at uno for the nth time in a row, Talia burst through the doors, flanked by the guards that Jason himself had picked out for her personally. She had a sword held deftly in her hand, not a hair out of place, but Jason could tell instantly from the blood on her dress and the slight perspiration on her forehead that she was startled.
"Shit," He said plainly, calmly, as the guards slammed the doors shut behind them and Ra's got to his feet, wandering back inside. "Fuck'd you dipshits do now?"
Talia breathed softly, looking over at him before putting herself back together in an instant and lifting her chin. "Damian, get your things. Your brother will be taking you away from the compound, effective immediately."
Jason and Damian paused, both suddenly sitting up straighter at the bench. They exchanged wary glances, their game instantly forgotten. Jason squinted slightly. "...I'm gonna what now?"
"I do not understand why we couldn't stay and fight the uprisings." Damian spat, adjusting the collar on the new 'civillian' shirt that Jason had nabbed from a thrift store to help them stay under the radar. Nobody knew where they were, not even Talia or Ra's, and Jason had ordered one of his most trusted subordinates within the league to split off from them when they left Nanda Parbat in order to throw off any tails. They were completely off-grid with no supervision. "It is cowardly to run, and I could take any assailant stupid enough to volunteer as my foe."
"Ok, one," Jason returned pointedly, scanning the alley they were in for the location where his chosen contact had left them some emergency supplies. A contact completely separate from the league, of course. Jason could only trust his own personal league workers; he'd hand picked them specifically for their loyalty, and since they were already tied up with his orders to help Talia take the league back under their control, he was reverting back to some other associates to get himself and Damian to Talia's chosen location.
Gotham. Because of fucking course that's where she wanted Damian to go.
"One," He repeated, "We aren't playing desert royalty anymore, so drop the Shakespeare dialect. Two, I've seen you trip over your own katana and face-plant into a five hundred-year old gong in the middle of the night, both chipping your own tooth and making everybody think the training academy was under attack. Talia sent you away because you suck, deal with it."
"She sent you away too," Damian snapped petulantly, glaring at him with the heat of a thousand suns. Jason was unimpressed, thoroughly used to it. "Clearly you are also a liability."
"I'm the person she trusts most to keep her idiot-cargo safe on the way to his dipshit of a father." Jason sneered back, successfully locating the black duffle bag and digging through it until he located a chocolate bar, tossing it in Damian's location. He stuck his tongue out, ripping it open and taking a bite, and Jason grinned in amusement. Admittedly, as annoying as it was that he had to return to Gotham of all places before he was ready, it was nice to have an excuse to take Damian out of the compound. The kid hardly ever got to leave the grounds, and Jason knew that being the Demon's head's grandson 24/7 weighed down on him slightly, giving him a role he wasn't quite sure how to fit into. When they were away just the two of them, it was the only time that Damian ever allowed himself to drop the act completely, actually reverting back to the snarky ten-year-old that he really was. He ruffled his little brother's hair as they slipped back out onto the streets of the little village they were passing through, Jason steering them towards a parking lot so he could hotwire a motorcycle and get them to the next stop on their little trip.
"What's Bruce like?" Damian wondered, leaning into him slightly when he wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "I know you think he's shit, but objectively speaking. What should I expect, living with him?"
Jason sighed slightly, thinking back to what his time was like actually living in the manor. It had been good, right up until the end part. "I mean he's not... he's nothing like Ra's. No risk of death to prove yourself, or forced training. If you want it, then sure, he won't go easy on you, but I don't remember Robin shit ever being mandatory. And Alfred's a fucking gem, even if he enables the prick way too much. He's... well he's a fuckin' weirdo. All billionaires are."
"Akhi," Damian commented dryly. "We are richer than he is. That band grandfather gave you alone is worth more than most palaces."
Jason glanced down at the bracelet Damian was referring to, the solid gold diamond and ruby encrusted band that he'd been presented with as a symbol of his official status as an heir of the Demon's head. He shrugged. He'd only kept it because it made him feel safer to have something on hand valuable to pawn off in emergencies.
"Shut the fuck up." He directed instantly. "Point is it will be safer than the compound and it will be fucking weird, ok?"
Damian grunted, scrunching up the empty wrapper and tossing it in a nearby trash can. "Where are we headed to next, then?"
Jason made a face, squinting. "Fuck, man, I don't know. Didn't exactly get time to plan shit out before we got kicked out. I don't even wanna go there, I don't have a specific route in mind." He paused as they reached the parking lot, two motorcycles parked there. He hummed consideringly as he went for the bigger one. "We could do a couple pit-stops if you want, you know? Have some fun?"
Damian trailed behind him, one eyebrow raised. "We are hiding from potential pursuers and are fleeing to another country for refuge."
"It's called hiding in plain sight, you daft twat." He waved off, putting the duffle down and bringing out his needed tools. "Ain't no fucker gonna look for us in Disneyworld."
"...You're just trying to stall going to Gotham." Damian realised. Jason barked out a beat of laughter.
"Day, you are going to love the animal kingdom."
Damian wasn't completely sure how his life had gotten to this point. When he was younger, he was under the impression that his life would consist of nothing but rigorous training in order to become worthy of his grandfather's inheritance. Being the firstborn of the Al Ghul family was no easy task, and he'd known that from the start. Of course, he hadn't known that an older brother would turn up out of nowhere when he was only five years old. Hadn't known that the burden of being firstborn heir would be lifted from his responsibilities and he would be taught to enjoy his childhood, as dysfunctional as it was. Hadn't known that he would ever appeal to the idea of not being Ra's firstborn. Enjoy watching Jason run around learning how to control the league, dealing with subordinates and annoying Ra's and Talia to no end with his somehow lax-version of immense competence, while Damian himself had no required roles apart from his own personal tutorage and training.
And now not even that, really. He was sure based off Jason's information that upon his arrival in Gotham his biological father would re-impose some kind of training in order to join his vigilante clan of bats, but being as Jason didn't seem interested in hurrying over to his birth city and Damian wasn't opposed to 'chilling' as he put it, for a little while longer, Damian had elected to take advantage of the situation and finally give in to his childish urges to 'do nothing'.
It was kind of nice.
"Feet off the dash." Jason mumbled, mouth full of fries as he slipped back into the driver's seat of their most recent stolen car, bag of food thrust over into Damian's chest. He snorted, catching it with one hand and using the other to continue the Pokémon game he was playing on the shitty second-hand 2DS Jason had gotten him from some electronic thrift store back in Monaco.
"Mememememe-" He snipped back, high pitched, only to gasp in indignant pain when his brother leaned over and shoved his knees down hard, bending them the wrong way until they finally fell off into the footwell. He pushed himself up begrudgingly, still glaring over in offence. "Asshole."
"Mememememe," Jason snickered back in response. "Shut up and eat your McPlant."
"Where are we even going now?" Damian asked as he started up the car, digging through the McDonalds bag to find some food. "I liked the ski resort. Why couldn't we just stay there? They had a sauna."
"Because," Jason laughed, pulling the car out of the parking lot. "A friend messaged me asking if I wanted to join up for a job with my old team, and I think it would be fun to introduce you guys."
"You have friends?" Slipped out instinctively, more curious than insulting, but Damian still pressed his lips together in amusement at Jason's dramatic gasp, quickly turning to look out the window and avoid his older brother's fury.
"Ok, first of all," Jason shot back loudly, holding up a finger in his direction. "The only friends you've ever had have been my subordinates that I'd ordered to take care of you, second-,"
"Hit a nerve there, didn't I?" Damian turned to input gleefully.
"-SECOND," Jason yelled over him. "Roy and Kori have been on my case about meeting up with them again for the past two months, and the only reason I didn't do so was because I was so busy at the league, because again, you were my main priority."
"Oh and I'm so sorry that I held you back from meeting up with your weird two friends," Damian crooned. "That must have been so hard for you, you poor, lonely little boy."
"Fuck- off!" Jason burst out laughing, and he snickered. "Shut up- listen, listen. Roy and Kori are my best friends, and we do a lot of jobs together when I'm out of the compound for international business. Kori's an alien princess with her own fuckin' spaceship, and we all own an island in the Caribbean. You'll like them, promise."
"Is this an Al Ghul thing or a Red Hood thing?" Damian asked him around a mouthful of burger. He knew there was a difference; Jason always put on a specific type of persona whenever he was doing outside work specifically as Ra's firstborn heir. More regal, more professional in nature. When he was acting as his own anti-hero in the Red Hood helmet however, Damian was aware that Jason tended more to prioritise fun than actually carrying out some kind of official business. Seeing Jason work as the Red Hood was one of Damian's favourite past times, especially when it was around the compound. His mother despised that helmet, it was glorious.
"Red Hood," Jason answered instantly, to Damian's delight. "We got our own little team n' everything. Roy wants to do a reunion so we can take on a job hunting down some dipshits trying to traffic girls into the Bolivian underground. It'll take a week tops, promise."
"Can I help?"
"Yeah!" Perking up at the affirmative answer, Damian failed to notice the fake enthusiasm until Jason elaborated, "You can clean the ship and cook for us while we're out working!"
Smile dropping, Damian turned to stare at the side of Jason's head with a flat expression. Jason glanced at him and made an overly-dramatic excited face before turning back to the road. Slowly, after a beat, Damian followed suit, looking out onto the street ahead.
"You're a dick, Akhi." He said after a moment.
"Yup!"
"There's my man!" A red headed male in some kind of archer's outfit and a red hat strolled down the entrance ramp of what Damian had to admit was a pretty impressive ship, parked in a secluded field in the middle of a dry forest that they'd been driving through for the past twenty minutes. Jason cut the engine, opening the door and swinging one leg out to stick his head out the top. The man who was presumably Roy continued, spreading his arms out welcomingly. "What the fuck took you so long!?"
"Your bitch ass directions!" Jason shot back instantly. Damian watched quietly as his brother rushed to greet his friend, the two meeting on the grass and clapping their hands together warmly. Slowly, curious, Damian unclipped his seatbelt, gathering his belongings from where they'd been strewn across the car for the majority of their drive. "How the hell can you just say 'idk, somewhere in the forest, fuck knows where just find it' and expect me not to be a bit late?"
"It's a massive fucking ship!" Roy defended, and Jason scoffed.
"It was invisible until twenty seconds ago! Anyway- who gives a fuck, we're here now. Where's Kori?"
"Inside." Roy shrugged off. "Fuck you mean 'we'?"
Damian paused from where he was about to open the car door, squinting over in confusion. Jason similarly went still for a beat, before Damian watched his mouth drop open in sudden understanding.
"Ahhh," He hummed casually. "I ain't mention that shit, did I?"
"Mention what?"
Jason turned around, raising an arm to point directly at Damian through the front window of the car. He went still, like a deer under headlights, eyes widening. "That's my little brother." Jason said plainly, as Roy made direct eye contact with him. "Took him from Ra's cult n' we been doin' shit while they deal with uprisings." Jason shrugged, and Roy stayed silent. Damian waited, for some reason slightly nervous.
A beat.
"Oh, sick." Roy finally said. "I always wanted a nephew!"
Damian narrowed his eyes. He slammed open the car door. "Excuse you, I am nobody's nephew-"
"-Aunt Nyssa," Jason cut him off, holding up his hand. "Uncle Dusan, that guy from the bodega who said he was adopting us and gave us free sandwiches,"
"Jason, shut up." He snapped. Jason laughed easily.
"So you're Talia's kid?" Roy asked, looking him up and down as he walked closer. "Nice to meet you! Sorry about your cult upbringing and all that, I guess."
"...It's fine," Damian returned evenly, narrowing his eyes suspiciously. "Turned into a cool backstory, so..."
Roy's smile turned gleeful. "God, I like him Jay!"
"Told you," Jason shrugged. "Anyway, I'm going to go catch up with Kori. Don't let my brother die, alright?"
"Don't want him to follow in your footsteps?" Roy hollered after him teasingly, and Jason flipped him the bird as he walked up the ramp, disappearing into the ship. Damian was left alone with Roy, scrutinising him slowly. They stood together on the grass for a few moments. Damian refused to speak first. Eventually, Roy broke.
"So... you wanna watch me build a bomb?"
So as it turned out, Jason's friends were actually kind of fun. Damian liked the Outlaws. He got used to them fairly quickly.
"You have to- Damian. Damian look at this bullshit; look at how much of a monster your brother is, and help me put him back in the ground."
"It's called a struggle meal, jackass!" Damian grinned as Jason yelled over from the kitchen, glaring at where Roy was staring down in dismay at the slice of plain bread plated up on the table, nothing but a few cubes of cheese and a drenching drizzle of sweet chilli sauce as garnish. "It's what I ate as a kid and it's a fucking nostalgia thing!"
"Our point is that you are not struggling any more-," Damian backed up, Roy gesturing to him wildly.
"-Debatable-" Jason cut in.
"-So there is no acceptable reason," Damian only raised his voice to be heard, ignoring him. "For us to be subjected to your sad history of culinary acts!"
"I maintain the right to eat my favourite meal from childhood." Jason told them both firmly.
"Why are you all arguing now?" Kori wondered as she entered the room. She shook some sand from her hair, letting it scatter onto the stone floor of the island villa. Pausing, her eyes landed on the plate in front of Roy and Damian, noticing their plight. "Ah." She realised. "I must say, I do have to agree with them, Jason. I do not understand your eating habits."
Damian pointed to her in victory, unphased as she ruffled her hair and walked past him to give Roy a quick kiss. Admittedly, despite being firmly not allowed to take part in the Outlaw's trafficking takedown, he had found himself enjoying the time they spent staying with the two. Kori was brilliant, a genius in battle who seemed literally indestructible in Damian's young eyes. She'd been happy to show him a few tricks, spending their early evenings out in the forest sparring while Roy set up a barbeque and Jason worked through case files on the grass and yelled out proud encouragement every time he got a new move right. When the trafficking ring had been dealt with, she had pointed out that there was no real reason for them to leave yet if Jason still wasn't bothered about getting to Gotham any time soon. Jason had looked to Damian in a silent question, aware that maybe spending too long around new people might get on his nerves, but Damian had held no complaints. They'd decided to go have a mid-road trip 'vacation' on the Outlaw's island, both so Jason could show Damian around and so that Roy could do as many mechanical experiments as he wanted without fear of having the authorities called on him for potential extremism.
It was a nice island, and the wildlife there was unused to much human contact, which made them very friendly. Overall, Damian was enjoying his time with Jason's friends.
"You're all privileged assholes," Jason declared, sauntering over to swipe up his very sad excuse for a meal. "Me and my struggle meals deserve better."
"Haven't you been adopted by like, Two separate billionaires?" Roy pointed out. "On two separate unrelated occasions?"
Jason took a large bite of his bread, tearing a quarter off with his teeth. "Kill yourself," He muffled back around a cube of cheese. Roy laughed at him. "Anyway- fuck you guys, where are the notes on that break in job we were thinkin'a doin' this weekend?" He asked, after swallowing. "I need'ta go over them again before I contact the client."
"Somewhere in my lab, I think." Roy shrugged off. "I was looking at them when me and Day were fucking around in there earlier."
Damian grinned. Another thing he liked about Jason's friends; Roy was surprisingly efficient when it came to technology and creating things, and Damian had developed an affinity for explosions in his time around the man. Jason had been encouraging it all gleefully; he said that it was his job to make Damian as difficult to control as possible before handing him over to Bruce Wayne. Damian was just happy that he consequently knew how to build exploding arrows now.
There was a faint buzzing sound coming from somewhere by the window seat, and as Jason and Roy continued to discuss their next job Damian wandered over, spotting where Jason's latest Russian novel was lying next to one of his old phones. The man had around seven of them, it was ridiculous, especially considering up until they left the league Damian hadn't even been allowed one.
This phone was buzzing furiously, almost vibrating off the bench. He recognised the model as one of the older phones though, one that Damian knew Jason didn't use for important things, so he didn't bother raising the alarm. He only paused when a few moments later his own phone started vibrating from his back pocket, the one that he'd only even gotten Jason to buy him after they left the league, and supposedly only had Jason's numbers input as contacts.
He pulled it out to see an unknown number requesting a video call. Slightly curious, he clicked accept. His mother's unimpressed face appeared on his screen.
"Damian." She said evenly. "Where are you?"
Damian blinked, thinning his eyes slightly. "How did you get my number?"
"Where are you!"
He shrugged. "I don't know the exact co-ordinates. Akhi's friends and him have an island somewhere, but the location's a secret."
Talia's face did a complicated twitch, like she momentarily forgot she was visible and needed to control her emotions. Her voice was frosty when she bit out, "So not Gotham?"
Damian valiant effort to hide the ever-so-slight amusement in his tone when he responded, "Not yet, no. I think we're closer than we were a few months ago, though."
"AY, DAMES!" Behind him, Roy yelled out. He craned his neck away from the phone to look at where the man was holding Jason in a headlock, failing at his efforts to take the 'struggle meal' away from him.
"Yes?"
"Thinkin'a blowing up some trees over on the east side in a sec, building a hot tub. Wanna help make the gear?"
"Oh, fuck yes." Damian breathed, before turning back to where his mother was watching the scene with thinly veiled incredulity. "Mother, I apologise but I must go."
"What? Damian-!" Talia snapped indignantly. "Do not- oh for fucks sake," She mumbled. "Just put your brother on the phone. Now."
"As you wish," Damian mumbled under his breath, raising his eyebrows and turning towards where the Outlaws were still in the kitchen area, arguing loudly.
"Absolutely fucking not- I've seen her eat such weird shit in the past-!" Jason had wrestled his way out of Roy's hold, and was gesturing in Kori's direction. "Are you joking?!"
"That's different!" Roy exclaimed. "It's alien food, if you discriminate against that then you're racist!"
"Oh- so I'm racist but you hating on poor people food isn't problematic!?"
"I'm just saying there's a difference between culture and being an-"
"Jason," Damian interrupted. "Mother wants to talk to you."
Mouth still slightly open, Jason paused, eyes flicking over to him and the phone in his hand. Instantly he sagged, face morphing into disappointment. "Aw man," He whined. "You picked up?!"
"I didn't even know she had my number!" Damian shrugged defensively, tossing the device carelessly in Jason's direction before leaning in to where Roy stood, arm out, ready to wrap around his shoulders and lead him out of the communal space and onto one of the jungle paths interconnecting the different inside spaces on the island. They made it outside before Damian paused them, arm coming up to hang off the one wrapped around him and halting them just around the bend of the doorway. He held a finger up to his lips, bending his head back to make eye contact with a grinning Roy, and surrounded by the tropical flowers and vines of the gorgeous island they'd been inhabiting, they eavesdropped.
"Personally, I don't understand how you could possibly be mad." Jason was saying confidently. "Kori and Roy are great influences on the kid. You always complained to Ra's about how soft you thought Day was; well, you should have seen how soft he looked out with Kori a few nights ago being used as paedo-bait so she could teach him how to decapitate people with fence posts!"
"I told you I wanted you to take him to Gotham to be under the care of his father!" Talia yelled back.
"Hey, hey-" Jason cut her off, indignant, "I am almost eighteen years old, I have the right to go and see my friends without your permission. Would it have been safer if I fucking left Damian alone, unsupervised, while I went? Would it Talia?!"
"Don't be obstinate on purpose Jason." They could hear Talia responding. "I've had enough to deal with without adding your idiocy on top."
"And here I thought you wanted me in the family," Jason crooned back sarcastically. "Chill out, Tals. I said I'd get him there and I will, I just never claimed I'd be using the most direct route."
"Jason, your grandfather and I have agreed that we need you over here helping us deal with the rest of these uprisings; I can't in good faith call you back unless Damian is in good hands, so he has to go to Gotham to be with his father!"
"Oh fuck that, he can stay with Roy and Kori if you need me that quick!" Jason responded instantly.
"DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE."
Above him, Damian felt Roy snort in amusement.
"You're such a priss sometimes, honestly-" Jason mumbled exasperatedly, cutting himself off. "Look we're having a bonfire tonight and I said I'd get the firewood, so I have to go. Good luck keeping grandpa-murder alive, I'll tell Day you said you love him, ok?"
"Jason if you dare end this call right now-"
"Bye~!" They heard the tell-tale audio of a call being cut off, and then Jason's high-pitched mockery of Talia's voice as he started cluttering around the kitchen. "Mememe- take the little bastard to Bruce, Jason, he has to be in Gotham, the one place on earth where it's normal to grow up with clown-fear induced psychosis, he'll be safe there."
Roy started to shake from repressed laughter, and Damian bit his lip to avoid joining him. Jason didn't speak after that and so they left, not meeting up with the others until later that night when they got the call from Kori that she'd made dinner on the beach. When they arrived, covered in scorch marks and Damian still buzzing from the electrified stun grenade that Roy had taught him how to make, they were greeted by their normal firepit in full use, flames roaring and licking at the salty air above. Jason chucked another log onto the pile as they came through the leaves, jerking his head over to the grill set up nearby.
"She says it's not meat," He opened with. "I don't believe her. Eat with caution."
Kori looked up from the barbeque and glared at him playfully. Damian skipped over to squint at the red slabs sizzling away, some looking slightly bloody in nature. "They are from a planet not far from my homeland," She explained patiently, noticing his sceptical glances. "I found them in an underground market, they are a delicacy. They look like meat, but I promise you it's just a type of fruit that when cooked tastes remarkably like your Earth bovine steaks."
"I think," Jason called over. "Market-guy lied to you and you're about to feed my vegetarian brother a raw steak."
"I think you should mind your own business," Kori responded sweetly, before looking down at Damian. "You do not have to try it, there are vegetarian burgers in one of the other coolers if you would prefer."
Damian thought about it before shrugging, grabbing a plate. "I have no issue with trying new foods from other cultures. It's not like the league gave me much culture to start out with; I need all the help I can get."
"Aw, don't be like that," Jason laughed, popping the cap off a beer and handing it to Roy before getting his own. "What about Ra's scavenger hunts, where he'd set a prisoner loose in the compound and say first one to kill them got a week off-duty? That's culture!"
"Man," Roy sighed wistfully, collapsing into one of the old beach chairs surrounding the crackling bonfire, taking a swig. "I'd have fuckin' thrived in that league, I swear."
"Oh Ra's would have despised you," Jason agreed instantly. "It would have been amazing."
Damian settled into the chair next to Jason with his plate, nibbling on the oddly-textured but surprisingly good-tasting meal Kori had made for him. They settled into the evening, one of their calmer ones of late, and Damian allowed his eyes to grow slightly heavy as the older ones around him drank and joked.
"-No I'm just saying, she has absolutely no fashion sense whatsoever-!" Jason laughed, throwing another log on the wilting flames before uncapping his fifth beer of the night. Kori scoffed, rolling her eyes.
"You never seemed to mind what I wore back when we were sleeping together," She pointed out, and even in his calm state of evening-spectator, Damian made a disgusted face at the reminder that his brother had any kind of physical history.
Jason waved his hands about. "I'm not saying your alien shit isn't hot," He amended easily, "I'm saying that human-civilian wise, you're blind. I-" He cut himself off suddenly, turning to speak to a snickering Roy. "You know I took her to the mall once to get some civilian clothes for an undercover mission and she hand-picked a jean vest and a pair of tartan sweatpants, which she planned to wear together."
Kori threw her hands up in the air, exasperated. "This coming from the man who wears nothing but one singular leather jacket."
"HEY- that is a uniform." Jason hissed, pointing at her threateningly. Roy started laughing silently, and he snapped his head over to point out, "I dunno what you're laughing about, considering I've never seen you not wear that stupid hat!"
Abruptly, Roy was no longer laughing. His jaw dropped in pure offense and he sat up straight in his seat. "Excuse me-?!"
"He is right," Kori admitted. Roy's offense got louder.
"IT'S NOT MY FAULT I DON'T LIKE THE FEELING OF WIND IN MY HAIR!"
"You don't like the-" Jason wheezed. "That is the fucking most neurodiverse thing- how the fuck can your job include swinging about on fucking grapple lines when you can't stand the sensory input of wind in your hair-?!"
"Mind your own business Jason." Roy silenced him, somehow managing to keep a straight face. "If you get a fucking work jacket then I should get a work hat."
"It's not just work though, is it?" Kori observed to herself casually, tilting her head. "You often wear it in bed, too."
Damian choked on air, sliding down in his seat and covering his mouth in order to stay silent. Jason's jaw dropped as Roy's eyes widened in alarm.
"What?!" Jason emphasised, laughing slightly in disbelief. "Tell me more about this, please and thank you." He demanded in glee.
"What- NO!" Roy wailed, holding both of his palms up, one in the direction of each of his teammates, head rapidly snapping between them. "In front of your ten-year-old brother?!" He hissed at Jason.
"I'm eleven, you literally sang happy birthday to me last month." Damian piped up, Jason pointing to him in agreement. Roy glared at them both before turning to Kori.
"Can we talk about what constitutes private information in our relationship again, please? Because this is like the fourth time you've told somebody that and I'm really starting to take a hit to my reputa-"
Jason snickered into his bottle, taking a swig and leaning back in his chair to look over and down at Damian, who was still sunk low enough that he was almost sat in the sand. Roy and Kori's domestic faded into the background as he nodded over at him, softly asking, "Startin' ta get tired there, habibi?"
Damian ignored the burning in his eyes to fight down a yawn. "No," He lied. Jason's lips twitched upwards fondly, taking another swig.
"You can go to bed, we probably won't be out here much longer anyway."
"I am not a child," Damian mumbled, slightly sleepy. "I do not need an earlier bedtime than you imbeciles."
Jason snorted, before opening his arm slightly and nodding his head down at his lap. "Well, night chills are setting in. Wanna keep me warm at least?"
Damian squinted up at him, blinking the burn out of his eyelids as he considered the offer. After a moment, he allowed himself to slide the rest of the way out of his chair and onto the sand, before picking himself up and repositioning himself curled up on his big brother's lap, held there securely by one arm so he could lean his head back onto the larger man's collarbone. He sighed in contentment, the two watching Roy gesture about wildly at Kori, who was very obviously being purposefully obtuse about relationship privacy in order to wind him up even further.
"...You have to go back and help mother, don't you?" He mumbled eventually, sinking into Jason's hold. He felt the torso behind him sigh in resignation.
"At some point, yeah."
"And I have to be in Gotham for that to happen?"
"Apparently." Jason muttered under his breath, clearly bitter. Damian screwed his mouth up.
"I don't see why we can't just stay here. I like it here."
"Yeah, buddy." Jason sighed. "I like it here too."
"I bet father will not be nearly as fun. Or that new Robin. Or Nightwing."
That got a chuckle out of him. "Oh yeah, no, Dickface sucks. Don't expect him to be even as close to as fun as I am."
Grumbling slightly, Damian shifted further into Jason's hold. "Promise to save mother and grandfather as quickly as possible so that you can come steal me away again?"
He felt the grin in Jason's voice when he got his response.
"Obviously."
Two years later
"Gotham is so boring," Damian huffed, staring despondently out of his classroom's window. One of the kids in his class, Brandon something or other, looked over at him in bafflement.
"We're watching one of the teachers get arrested for attempted murder?!"
"Tt," He waved off, turning away from the flashing cop car lights and slumping back down into his chair. It's not like it was their teacher.
"You're weird, Dames." Brandon shook his head in bewilderment as the rest of the students finally started to filter away from the window. "So weird..."
"M' the son of Brucie Wayne, what did you expect?" He pointed out blandly, crossing his arms onto the desk and laying his chin down on top.
"Mr Wayne," Their teacher, the woman who sadly hadn't been arrested for trying to kill her ex-boyfriend the night before, called over from her desk. "You're being called to the front office; they want you now, please."
A ripple of 'oohs' surfaced from his classmates, which he rolled his eyes at. "I didn't even do anything," He argued, though he knew it was pointless. Mrs McNamara simply sent him a look, and he sighed before sliding back out of his chair, heading out into the school hallway.
He genuinely hadn't done anything--nothing that could be on Gotham Academy's radar anyway. Compared to what his life had been like when he was a kid, his life in Gotham was relatively tame. There was no sneaking around the compound with Jason, no going on ridiculous road trips and side quests, and none of his older brother's friends to fuck around with either. Dick was nice, he was a good mentor and Damian appreciated having him in his life... but he wasn't Damian's original big brother. Nobody could fill the gap that that sort of role leaves. Bruce tried, he knew, but although Damian could say with certainty that Jason's opinion of the man was certainly biased and mostly fuelled by spite rather than facts, it was still a vastly different sort of environment than Damian was used to, and even now, almost two years into being public as the man's biological son, he found himself struggling to feel completely at home and comfortable within the Wayne household. Him and Tim had definitely gotten off on a complicated foot, and even though they had healed those old wounds and got along fairly well nowadays, he was too busy running a company to be overly present in Damian's life. Honestly, they all were. He knew Bruce and Tim would be at work right about now, and Dick was back in Bludhaven for the week, so he'd resigned himself to the next few days being filled mostly with his own company, occasionally interrupted by Alfred's presence, attempting to shove nutritional meals down his throat. Like he'd said; Gotham was boring.
"I was asked to come to the front office?" He asked tiredly, stopping at the secretary's desk. She gave him a sympathetic smile, all too used to seeing him up there during class hours whenever he would get pulled out for a 'family emergency' that usually turned out to be some minor bat incident that Damian wasn't even necessary for.
"Your uncle is here to pick you up, he's signed you out of classes for the rest of the day." She explained. "He's waiting for you out front."
Damian narrowed his eyes. "My uncle?"
The secretary nodded, before her computer pinged and she got distracted again. "Have a good day, Damian!" She told him absently, while he stared at her in continual confusion. When she said nothing more, he slowly stepped away and turned in the direction of the school's main entrance, making his way towards it.
His uncle? He knew for a fact Dusan would rather be cast out from the Al Ghul family than spend quality time with either of his nephews, so he doubted it was him. If there was information he urgently needed to contact Damian about, he'd find some other way to do it. When he stepped out of the school it was with the main conviction that this was some kind of kidnapping attempt, which he was planning on going along with for no other reason than it was more interesting than taking the biology quiz scheduled for his next period. He stopped still on the top step when he spotted the fiery red car waiting, however, with a very familiar man leaning against the passenger door.
"Harper?"
Roy's head snapped up from the phone he'd been typing on, a blinding grin appearing on his face. "Damian! Dude! Long time no fucking see, you're so fuckin' tall!"
"What the ever-loving fuck are you doing here?" Baffled, Damian couldn't help the way his feet carried him forward, hurrying down the steps and accepting the hand Roy offered to clasp in greeting. "I haven't seen you since we were staying on the island."
"I know, it's been far too long!" Roy dramatized, putting a hand on his forehead before stepping to the side and opening the car door for him. "Get in, come on, who fuckin' knows how long we have before one of the bats figures out you've ditched."
Damian paused where he'd been unthinkingly sliding into the passenger seat, sending Roy an indignant look. "I didn't ditch. You committed identity fraud and signed me out of classes early."
"Corn on the cob, cob on the corn," Roy waved off, moving over to get in the driver's seat.
"That's definitely not an expression."
"How would you know, cult child?"
"Why are you here, Harper." He demanded, snorting. Roy turned on the car, pulling away from the school smoothly. "Did Akhi send you? Is he ok?"
"Jay's fine, kid. Promise." Roy assured him. "Lotta shit went down this year, both league stuff and Outlaw business. I got back in contact with Jason a few weeks ago to help clear up some loose ends. He asked me to come check up on you and fill you in."
"What happened with the league?" Damian demanded. He hadn't seen Jason since he'd been brought to Gotham, dropped on Wayne Manor's grounds in the middle of the night and given the directions to sneak into the cave, waiting there for Batman and Robin to get back from patrol with a paternity test ready to go. Jason hadn't even stepped foot inside, giving him a kiss on the top of his head before speeding off on the silent motorcycle Roy had specially weaponised for Red Hood's use. Damian hadn't had any contact with that wing of his family since.
"League's fine." Roy assured him. "Stable, now. Your mother and grandfather are fine, and the uprisings have pretty much been uprooted and dealt with. Jason's free to come back in, like, a few days."
Despite knowing logically that there was probably no power on earth that could take out the Demon's head, his daughter, and his firstborn heir/main general when the three were working side by side, Damian still let out a slight sigh of relief. "He's coming back to Gotham?"
"Kiddo, not just Jason. Red Hood's coming to Gotham." Roy emphasised, to Damian's instant interest. "Our boy Jason has plans, and he's gonna get shit done."
"So if he's going to be here soon anyway, why have you come to kidnap me from school?"
Roy laughed as a red light switched to green, stepping on the gas. "I was close by, wanted to see my favourite little guy! Is that so hard to believe?"
"You were close with Richard once, were you not?" Damian pointed out. "If you were 'in the area', why not go and visit him?"
"He doesn't even know Jason's alive, do you know how weird it is to go and catch up with him while in the back of my mind I'm like 'ha-ha, I know your younger brother's alive and I've hung out with him enough that we've gotten into drunken threesomes with your ex-fiancé, my now girlfriend who you don't know I'm dating yet.'"
Damian blinked over at him. "He comes to Gotham like, every other week. Minus the gross sexual stuff, yes I know what it's like."
Roy winced. "Yeah I keep forgetting you're like, twelve. My bad."
"Thirteen."
"Thirteen~!" Roy chirped back, in an antagonistically high-pitched tone. Damian shoved at his arm, a begrudging smile pulling at his lips.
"Where are we going?"
"We, my friend, are going to take care of some business. I figure since Jason and Kori are both busy in Argentina right now, you can be my partner in crime instead. You down?"
"After two years of this dump?" Damian said pointedly, turning to look forward in his seat. "I'm down for everything."
"-The charge won't light like that, kid! You need to reposition the-"
"You think I don't fucking know that?!" Damian hissed, ducking further behind the steel table they were using for cover under another round of gunfire, hands frantically fiddling with the mess of metal and wires in front of him. "I'm not an amateur, Arsenal, I know how to make a grenade out of a busted microwave."
"Only because I taught you-,"
"Shut up and take out our assailants!"
Roy snatched another arrow from his quiver and leapt over the table, the fighting noises increasing as Damian deftly returned to the task at hand. Being Robin meant that he usually had to work with more pacifistic routes, only really having access to the tools that Batman provided. He loved working with tech and building weapons with his own hands, but he rarely had the opportunity to use those skills in the field as a bat. He had to admit, it was satisfying to finish his creation and throw it across the room, barely dodging Roy himself as it took out the rest of the people they were fighting. Roy whistled, lowering his bow and raising an eyebrow over at him.
"Shit kid, I forgot how much of a natural you were at that sort of stuff."
Damian preened under the praise, standing up and smirking. "Well obviously. Now where's that information you needed?"
"Should be encoded into the main server, so we need to get to the digital filing room, two floors up."
"We need to hurry up then," Damian said, already walking past him and over to the elevator. "I was supposed to be out of school around now, somebody will notice I'm missing soon."
"...Wait, shit, they actually keep an eye on you and stuff?" Roy sounded surprised, joining him just as the doors slid closed, pressing the button for the right floor. "They didn't do that with Jason, he used to sneak out all the time without anybody picking up on it."
"Yes, well," Damian shot him a look. "He ended up dead. They've probably learnt from their mistakes."
Roy considered this, nodding slowly. "A... fair point."
As if being summoned, Damian's cell phone started ringing from his back pocket, and when he slid it out to look at the screen it was to see the contact 'Drake, Tim' looking up at him. He made a face before declining the call and returning the device to it's place. Glancing over, he saw Roy looking over his shoulder and explained, "Talking to him is usually a chore, it's not out of character for me to ignore his attempts at contact."
"Damn," Roy mumbled, as the elevator doors opened and they were greeted with another handful of guards swivelling in their direction. "You really are Jason's kid."
Not picking up the first call may have been fairly usual for him, but even Damian had to admit he was testing fate by turning off his phone when both Bruce and Dick began repeatedly spamming him to demanding he answer them and let them know where he was. In his defence, it was the first time he'd gotten to hang out with Roy since leaving the Outlaws' island and he'd been excited. It wasn't his fault the family instantly decided it was a code red situation and tried to track his phone.
"Ok, so now that I have this I can trade it with my contact and finally finish up that job in-" Roy cut himself off so abruptly that Damian, who had been walking behind while fiddling with a taser he'd made during the final fight, smacked right into his back.
"Ow," He complained. "What are you-?" He also stilled, looking past the taller man to see what he was staring out. They'd just exited the building, Roy tossing the drive he'd snatched up and down gleefully, and had been planning on stopping by a batburger before dropping Damian somewhere he could sneak back into the manor from. This plan was slightly foiled by the Batmobile roaring up to the entrance of the building right as they left, both Nightwing and Batman leaping out immediately, ready for action..
"Fuck," Damian murmured softly.
"I- Roy?!" Dick exclaimed incredulously as he came to a stop, head snapping back and forth between Arsenal and Robin, clearly so caught off-guard that he forgot about secret identities entirely. "Damian- Dami we thought you were in danger, what's going on?!"
"...Heyyy, Dick." Roy awkwardly waved. "Long time- uh, long time no see?"
Dick stared at them. Silence stretched out for way longer than seemed socially acceptable. Damian winced in preparation.
Eventually, he heard Dick mumble, "What the fuck...?"
"What's going on here?" Bruce demanded, taking charge and stepping forward. "Arsenal, why are you with my son, who apparently was signed out of school by a relative that, upon a cursory background search, doesn't even exist."
"Uhm- well!" Roy chirped, slipping the flash drive he was holding securely into one of his zip-pockets. He held up a hand. "I can answer that easily! You see-"
Roy turned and sprinted down the side of the street as fast as he could, shooting off a grapple and flinging himself into the air. Damian sighed in resignation, watching him go. He wished he could say he was surprised.
"W- Roy!" Dick yelled after him, eyes narrowing. He took a few steps forward before faltering slightly, looking back between Bruce and Damian. "I don't- do we even go after him? Why was he even here?"
"Arsenal requested my help on a job," Damian admitted matter-of-factly. "It is not a big deal, I see no reason for your current reaction. Did you travel all the way from Bludhaven just for this, Nightwing?"
"I didn't even know you knew Roy?" Dick reiterated, ignoring the question. "How are you- why would he ask for your help with something?"
"Because I am very competent." Damian bristled. Bruce held up a soothing hand.
"That's not something we're doubting, Robin. We're just confused as to why somebody of his age is deciding to request team-ups with a child he doesn't even know."
"You did it when you first met Richard," Damian couldn't help but mumble, to Bruce's intense glare. "And we aren't strangers; he asked for my help because we've worked on jobs like that before. He is not a totally useless ally to have."
"How the fuck are you friends with Roy?!" Dick repeated, again, his voice starting to become shrill. Irritated, Damian crossed his arms, huffing.
"He's not my friend, he's Jason's friend." He snapped quickly, before realising his mistake. He stilled, eyes going wider under his mask, and for a moment he swore that he stopped breathing.
Shit.
"...What?" Dick asked, uncomprehending. Bruce took a step forward, no doubt noticing the body language of instant regret and smelling a rat on his youngest son.
"Robin, elaborate on that, now."
Damian opened his mouth. He shut it. He opened it again. "Nothing."
"Damian." Dick emphasised, eyes desperate. "Damian, what did you just say? What did that mean?"
"It didn't mean anything." He tried. Dick wasn't having it.
"No- no, no, you said he was Jason's friend, why did you say that? Who is Jason- why are you talking about Jason as if you know him?!"
"Roy's dating your ex-fiancé!" Damian blurted out, in a final attempt to change the subject. Dick paused, narrowing his eyes.
"He's- huh?!"
"Nightwing." Bruce warned.
"He's- you mean Kori?! When did they- wait, how do you know Kori?!" Dick demanded suddenly.
...Shit. Another mistake. Dick's eyes widened in abrupt realisation.
"Oh my god," He said to himself, hands coming up to land on his head as he looked to the sky. "Oh my god I knew that move you pulled last week looked familiar- oh my god Kori's taught you some of her moves-!"
"When did you meet these people?" Bruce asked him, narrowing his eyes. "When did you have time to train with them?"
Damain shrugged, stubbornly. "...Dunno."
"No," Bruce denied. "Not, 'dunno'. Damian, this is important. Why did you mention the name Jason?"
Damian looked between Dick and Bruce's faces, seeing no chance of getting them to drop the subject. He'd clearly messed up too much, and they would never let his little slip-up go. Jason was probably going to kill him for ruining his secret identity before Red Hood could even get the chance to set up in Gotham. On one hand, Damian was tinged with embarrassment about his loose lips; on the other...
It kind of served Jason right for going MIA for two years while Damian had to slum it up with the Waynes. In which case, in for a penny and all that.
"Because Jason Todd has engaged in threesomes with both of them." He said, loudly. Bruce and Dick froze.
"Day, hey, it's great to finally talk to you, I'm so sorry I haven't been in contact for so long, but I'm like a day away from Gotham so we can do a proper catch up-"
"Stay away from Gotham, Akhi." Damian barked into the phone. "Stay far, far away."
Jason paused, before chuckling in slight confusion. "Aw, come on, you can't be that mad at me for going to ground, right?"
Damian tilted his phone away from his face, letting the noise of Dick's loud sobbing mixed with Tim's enthusiastic conspiracy ranting filter into the device, backed by Bruce's occasional stern input and the frantic typing of two sets of hands against the batcomputer as they all argued about Jason Todd's apparent resurrection. He brought the phone back to his ear.
"Stay far, far away." He repeated gravely. Jason was silent.
"...Motherfucker. Who snitched?"
A beat. "It was Harper." He declared confidentially.
"...That piece of shit. I knew it."