Chapter Text
He didn’t come
It wasn’t a big surprise, not really. It would be more of a miracle if he actually showed up if she had to be honest with herself.
Yet, the bitterness still clawed at her heart.
The feeling was dull, comparable to the sensation of heat from the fire you got too close to, although never intense enough to actually burn. A warning, informing you of the consequences you’ll feel if you proceed any further.
That’s why she didn’t linger on that thought for too long.
It’s not like she could anyway – her memories were all mixed up with each other, evolving into unclear goo you couldn’t make out anything from besides shape. She didn’t remember how she got here, didn’t even know where here actually is, making her uneasy. Knowledge is power – control that she was unconsciously stripped off made her lose it.
Every emotion passing through her felt like a gentle breeze – light in its strength, clearly there, yet brief and gone within blink of an eye. She felt as if she was in a bubble, floating aimlessly through existence without any real meaning.
She didn’t know how much time had passed since she was trapped in this strange yet ironically calm place. The concept itself was still unknown for her, but even if she wanted to, she couldn’t put much mind to it – the thought fleeting and unreachable.
She didn’t fight it. Instead, she chose to roll with the blows, not really caring about what is happening around her at the moment.
How could she?
Nothing here is real anyway.
She couldn’t exactly describe the feeling, but it did mess with her head quite a lot. She felt as if she was watching something she shouldn’t be privy to – a forbidden fruit that she dared to not only look at but rip it off from the tree itself without hesitation. It was unsettling.
She watched with hollow eyes as they all stood around a framed photograph, bouquets and bundles of flowers adoring the single red block which the picture was set upon.
A picture of her, no less.
She didn’t know when and who took that picture. She was smiling, eyes squinted in mirth as her slightly blurred hat proved that she was moving while the photo was being taken.
She looked truly… happy.
It rubbed her the wrong way.
The silence that set around them was heavy, words unspoken hanging in the air, displaying their grief. Their faces scrunched in variations of emotions, as if unable to settle on just one. The one thing that passed through everyone though could be described as some kind of twisted anguish.
What a strange experience – watching her own funeral from above, a sense of finality hitting her square in the gut. The feeling dull, but a constant reminder she wasn’t a gust of wind that appeared and got away – she was still there, conscious – even without her body.
A ghost would be a fitting role for her
The air shifted suddenly, making her stiffen slightly. She didn’t dare move.
That’s when she heard it.
Again.
“I didn’t get to watch my funeral” spoke an airy, female voice.
Her only answer was silence as her eyes didn’t stray from the ceremony below them, visibly relaxing.
The voice that spoke to her was the only constant thing that accompanied her during the time she was trapped in here.
Every now and then, as if her imagination made it run itself, she heard a voice – soft and gentle tune that sounded like a lullaby that would put you to sleep in record time.
She would be lying if she said it wasn’t her only source of comfort in this unknown place.
“Queenie said I wasn’t stable enough” she explained further, a soft sigh that left her so heavy in meaning that it felt as if it left her very soul.
She felt sorry for her.
“And I am?” She questioned, not recognizing her own voice – hoarse and lacking empathy.
She felt her eyes linger on her for a moment, before it was gone and silence wrapped around them.
She finally looked to her left, unable to watch Ragatha dissolve into heartbreaking sobs. Her eyes wandered across the side of her face as she didn’t dare reply to her earlier question.
The answer was obviously a loud, clear no, but she instinctively knew she needed this to move on.
From what exactly, she wasn’t really sure yet.
“You wish you had?” She asked quietly after a while, her eyes now settled on strangely sane and swallowed by grief Kinger.
“I don’t think so, no” she replied casually.
A small smile stretched her lips as she turned fully towards her, her body suspended in air like a balloon would.
She met her eyes with hesitance and gave a smile of her own.
Together, they watched the ceremony of her abstraction. Seeing the faces of her friends twist in sadness and grief made her insides twist, but she endured through it. The tears some of them shed and little shaky laughs that slipped past their lips while reminiscing her existence and time they spent together kept on lifting her spirits up instead of dragging her heart to the bottom.
She could breathe easier.
At last, when it was all said and done, the lights went out, her little funeral suddenly over, as if popped out of existence the moment everyone left the common room.
A heavy, shaky breath left her lips, her face blank as a sense of finality washed over her.
She met her peace.
“Come on, Pomni” the quiet words of Ribbit made her catch her gaze again.
She gave her a soft smile and extended her hand.
“Let me show you our home”
With light exhale, she took her hand and just like that, they disappeared from the scene.
The cellar was offically swallowed by darkness one more.