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Dean Winchester is beautiful. It’s an objective fact. He’s so perfectly formed he doesn’t seem real. And yet, he is. He’s flesh and blood, solid and tangible. Castiel has spent far too much time dreaming about what it would be like to have him. And once it happens, it’s even better than he could have imagined. It’s perfect. Life is perfect with Dean next to him, under him, inside of him.
Until it’s not. Until Dean grows bored and distant and flirts with strangers, giving his smiles and warmth to everyone but Castiel. No amount of gifts, begging, lies, and threats improve the situation. Castiel starts poisoning himself, hoping that caring for him will remind Dean of what they share. Instead Dean hires an inhome nurse and spends even more time away from Castiel. He barely looks at Castiel at the nurse’s funeral, refuses to hold his hand, almost like he knows Castiel killed her. He wouldn’t have killed her if Dean had just paid attention to him.
Castiel is blindsided when Dean presents him with divorce papers. He just tosses them on the table, telling Castiel he doesn’t want anything from their life together. He doesn't even want alimony. He just wants to forget Castiel ever existed. Dean doesn’t even look sad when he tells Castiel. He seems annoyed. He talks about the divorce like he’s an inconvenience, a flat tire on a rainy night, a stubbed toe on the coffee table. A minor irritation that disrupts his day for a few moments and then is completely forgotten.
His heart beat is so loud, Castiel can’t hear anything Dean is saying. He balls his hands into fists and before he can think he lunges at Dean, shoving balled up pages of the divorce paperwork down his throat. Someone is yelling but it can’t be Dean because Castiel can see him gagging as he chokes him. Dean claws at Castiel’s hands, bucking and kicking, trying to get free but Castiel has always been stronger than Dean. Just another lie he told to make Dean love him.
Castiel feels hot, wet tears spilling down his face as the light fades from Dean’s eyes. He squeezes for just a moment longer before letting go of Dean’s throat. He carries Dean to their shared bed and uses the restraints to trap his unconscious form. Dean doesn’t get to leave him. Not when he’s worked so hard to make this perfect life for them.
Determined to save his marriage, Castiel gathers tools from the kitchen and waits for Dean to wake up. He sets out an ice pick, a hammer, and some pain meds on the bedside table. Then he uses some duct tape to secure Dean’s head, he can’t have Dean moving during the procedure. He thinks for a moment of doing it before Dean wakes, saving him the pain, but he needs Dean to know that Castiel will do anything for him.
Dean wakes slowly, coughing and spitting but Castiel is there to make sure he doesn’t choke and offers him a drink of water.
“What the fuck are you doing Cas?” Dean asks. His eyes are wide with fear and he tries to pull himself free of the restraints. “Stop Cas. Stop. I’m sorry. I’ll stay,” Dean begs.
“I’m so happy to hear you want to stay with me Dean.” Castiel presses a gentle kiss to his lips. “I love you more than words can express.”
“Then let me out of the restraints Cas.” Dean’s voice is deep. It’s the voice he uses before he yells. The one he uses when he tells Cas to not worry about the pretty yoga teacher he’s taking out for coffee. Castiel never wants to hear that voice again.
“I will,” Castiel promises. “We just have to do one thing first.”
He picks up the ice pick and the hammer. Dean yells, cries, sobs, but Castiel refuses to be swayed. He positions the ice pick behind Dean’s left eye socket and taps it with the hammer gently, once, twice, and he feels the bone shatter. He pushes the ice pick inside and swings it back and forth five times. Removing the ice pick carefully, Castiel holds gauze over the wound, applying gentle pressure to help stop the bleeding.
“Cas?” Dean is confused, sounds scared but that’s okay. Castiel is here. “My head hurts.”
“I know Dean. How else do you feel?” Castiel asks.
“Were we fighting?” Dean asks. “I can’t remember. Are you mad at me?”
“I could never be mad at you Dean.” Castiel releases Dean from the restraints and gathers him into his arms. “You don’t have to worry anymore Dean. I’m here to take care of you. No more thoughts to bother you.”
“Can we have pie for dinner?” Dean asks. Castiel dabs at the blood running down his head.
“Anything you want Dean.” Castiel kisses his forehead. Dean will never think of leaving him again.