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“Table for two?” the hostess asks cheerfully. “It’s very busy for couples this time of year.”
“No, we’re not-“
“Oh, there’s nothing to be ashamed of, honey! It’s okay to be gay. It’s legal to get married now, too!”
Jeonghan sighs internally as Seungcheol struggles to explain that, no, they need a table for three, and no, they are not dating. The hostess still looks incredibly skeptical, but she leads them to a table for three and tells them to "wait just a moment" for their waiter.
“I wonder if it’s the hair,” Jeonghan muses after the hostess leaves. “People seem to think that guys with long hair can’t be straight.”
“You’re the straightest guy I know,” Seungcheol remarks. “Pin straight. And I’m the gayest guy I know, but everyone seems to think that I’m straight. Me. I’m about as straight as a circle.”
“It’s the hair,” Jeonghan concludes. “People need to stop assuming things about people’s sexuality just because of their appearances. I’m never getting a girlfriend at this point.”
Seungcheol frowns. “Aren’t you friends with a lot of girls?”
Jeonghan makes a face. “Half of them are convinced that I’m in the closet. I keep getting rejected because they think that either I’m with you or I’m with Joshua. Or that the three of us are in a polyamorous relationship.”
Seungcheol grimaces. “That’s just cruel. I’ve been trying to get into his pants for over a year now. I was trying to get into your pants until you told me you were straight.”
“You know, you should just ask Josh out,” Jeonghan remarks. “What’s the worst that could happen?”
“He’s secretly straight? He doesn’t like me?”
Jeonghan rolls his eyes. “If Josh is straight, then I’m gay. And speaking of the devil…Josh! Over here!”
Said young man sees his two best friends and quickly settles at the table.
“Hi guys,” he breathes out in a rush. “I couldn’t find parking anywhere. City parking sucks.”
“It’s totally okay,” Seungcheol replies much too quickly.
Jeonghan smirks at Seungcheol, who hides his face with his menu.
“How was your week?” Jeonghan asks casually. “Studies going okay? Tests not too bad?”
Joshua sighs. “Vernon and Seungkwan forgot to let me know that they were bringing their date back to the apartment. But other than that, the new episode of Haikyuu! came out, and I finally caught up in all of my classes, so that’s good.”
“You could just come over to our place,” Jeonghan offers sympathetically. “I’ll just give you our spare key.”
Seungcheol glares at Jeonghan behind his menu, but Jeonghan just smiles back placidly.
“I really wouldn’t want to bother you,” Joshua replies. “It’s okay. I’ll just go to the library next time.”
“I insist,” Jeonghan presses, smiling even wider as Seungcheol kicks him under the table.
Joshua looks vaguely uncomfortable as Jeonghan presses the key into his palm and tell him to come over whenever he wants. Seungcheol is redder than a tomato, and Joshua is confused.
“May I take your order?”
The three quickly order their usual food, and Jeonghan continues to send smirks towards Seunghcheol. Joshua remains completely oblivious, asking the two about their weeks. The food comes and is devoured, and Seungcheol has to run for his class or else he’s going to be late for the third time that week. So he bids his friends farewell and runs off.
“You should really stop sitting on your feelings,” Jeonghan remarks when he notices Joshua gazing after Seungcheol’s retreating figure wistfully. “Make the first move.”
Joshua makes a face.
“I can’t,” he replies. “What if he doesn’t like me back?”
Jeonghan sighs deeply. “Well, you won’t know until you try, right?”
Joshua frowns.
“Here’s your bill! Hope you had a nice date.”
Joshua looks at the waitress in confusion.
“We’re not dating,” he replies, furrowing his brow.
The waitress winks. “Oh no, of course you’re not.”
Jeonghan sighs again.
“She was cute,” he whines. “What is it going to take for people to think that I’m straight?”
“No, no, we’re not dating.”
“We’re not a couple.”
“I’m straight.”
“I need help from non-straight people who are in a committed relationship,” Jeonghan announces, plopping down on Jihoon and Mingyu’s sofa. “Help me.”
He had invited himself over to the couple’s apartment on the premise that he needed some time away from Seungcheol stressing about his exams. Mingyu had opened the door for him cheerfully as Jihoon simply grunted a hello from the sofa. Once Jeonghan was settled in, Mingyu went back to cuddling Jihoon while the shorter man browsed his phone. If they weren’t so disgustingly cute, Jeonghan would have taken a picture to tease Jihoon with later.
Jihoon barely raises his eyes from his phone, but Mingyu leans forward in interest.
“Oh, oh, is it Joshua and Seungcheol?”
Jihoon snorts. “Well, it’s not pretty-boy over here.”
Jeonghan rolls his eyes. “Shut up, Jihoon. Anyways. I need help. How did you go about the whole, ‘We’re both not straight and we both want to get in each other pants, so let’s not be friends and be boyfriends’ thing? Because I can’t seem to get Seungcheol and Josh to do that.”
Mingyu frowns. “Oh, I just kind of rambled at Jihoon until he grabbed my face and kissed me.”
Without looking up from his phone, Jihoon flashes Jeonghan a thumbs-up.
“Ten out of ten, would do again,” he adds. “It was the only way to get him to shut up.”
“See, if either Seungcheol or Joshua had that kind of guts, I wouldn’t be here asking you how to get them together.”
Mingyu taps his chin thoughtfully. “Lock them in a dark closet together?”
“Tried that. I gave Josh our spare key hoping he would come over and then I could lock them together in the bathroom. The idiots fell asleep on me.”
“Typical,” Jihoon snarks. “Why are you so invested in this anyways? Just let them figure it out themselves.”
Jeonghan makes a face. “Because people keep thinking that I’m with one or both of them romantically and I haven’t gotten a date for two years. It doesn’t help that I live with Seungcheol.”
Jihoon smirks. “What, your army of girlfriends still think you’re in the closet?”
Jeonghan scowls at the petite brunette. “I could make a height joke,” he threatens.
Mingyu shields Jihoon protectively, as if he can physically deflect Jeonghan’s teasing.
“I think your height is cute!” he defends. “Don’t listen to Jeonghan!”
Jihoon bats Mingyu away. “Yeah, yeah, thank you and I love you. But seriously, Jeonghan. If they don’t want to make a move, don’t make them. They’ll figure it out eventually.”
Jeonghan huffs. “You’re useless. Go make out in the corner or something, because I’m going to ask Vernon and Seungkwan.”
Jihoon yelps when Mingyu picks him up.
“Aye, aye, Captain!” Mingyu replies cheerfully.
“Put me down!”
Jeonghan returns to his shared apartment with Seungcheol to see his roommate asleep next to a bowl of half-eating ramen. With a weary sigh, he nudges Seungcheol until the other man wakes up.
“Huh? Oh, you’re not Josh.”
“Hello to you too. Good to know I’m appreciated. You should either heat that up and eat it or just dump it.”
Seungcheol rubs his eyes. “No way I’m throwing that out. Josh made it.”
Jeonghan perks up. “He was here? What did you guys do? Did you finally confess your feelings?”
Seungcheol takes the bowl of ramen to the microwave and sets it for a minute.
“What? No. We had a study session. I must have fallen asleep, so he left.”
Jeonghan throws his hands up in the air. “I wasn’t here! That was the perfect opportunity! Why do you two keep falling asleep on me?”
Seungcheol groans. “Don’t yell. My head hurts. I just pulled an all-nighter to finish a paper, and I’m delicate.”
Jeonghan huffs. “One of these days...”
“You’re back,” Jihoon observes as Jeonghan plops down on the couple’s couch yet again.
“They’re hopeless,” Jeonghan declares.
Mingyu bites his bottom lip thoughtfully.
“Don’t do that,” Jihoon chides, smacking Mingyu’s arm. “You’ll start bleeding. Anyways, what happened this time to contribute to your suffering?”
Jeonghan lets out a mighty sigh. “I followed Seungkwan and Vernon’s advice of sending them on a ‘date’ together. And do you know what they did?”
“Humor me.”
“They went to do homework with Wonwoo and Junhui. THEY DID HOMEWORK.”
“That’s actually really smart,” Mingyu observes. Wonwoo and Junhui are really great study buddies. I always get a ton of work done when I study with them.”
Jeonghan huffs in distress. “But they were supposed to go on an actual date. They weren’t supposed to study!”
“Well, they have the grades they have for a reason,” Jihoon replies. “Minggu, get me some water. Please.”
“On it!”
Jihoon waits for Mingyu to go to the kitchen before turning to Jeonghan.
“How badly is this bothering you?” he asks.
Jeonghan stares at him. Jihoon smirks.
“Okay. I don’t want to ruin Mingyu’s innocence, but here’s a last ditch plan…”
“Sorry to be crashing at your house so late,” Joshua apologizes yet again.
Jeonghan waves a hand dismissively. “Don’t worry about it. We have plenty of space.”
“I’ll just take the couch. Thank you for having me.”
“What? You’re not taking the couch. Seungcheol’s out, take his bed.”
Joshua looks startled. “What? No, I couldn’t.”
Jeonghan rolls his eyes. “Stop being so polite,” he replies, shoving Joshua towards Seungcheol’s room. “Now go in and sleep.”
Before Joshua can protest any more, Jeonghan pushes his friend into the room and closes the door behind him. He locks the door from the outside and presses his ear to the door.
“Josh?”
“Seungcheol?”
“What are you doing here?”
“I’m so sorry! Jeonghan told me you were out, so I could sleep in your room since I got locked out fo my place. I'll leave.”
Joshua tries the door and fails. Jeonghan smirks.
“It’s locked.”
“Yeah, my inside lock is broken. Jeonghan must have thought it’d be funny to prank us.”
“Oh.”
“Well, it’s late. We should probably go to sleep.”
“Yeah.”
Satisfied, Jeonghan leaves the door and heads back to his own room.
“Did it not work?” Jihoon asks when Jeonghan returns to their apartment three days later.
“Seungcheol slept on the floor. And then Josh felt so bad that he also slept on the floor. On the other side of the bed.”
Jihoon shrugs. “Well, it was worth a shot.”
Mingyu returns to the living room from the kitchen with a plate filled with cookies.
“You should try these,” he tells Jeonghan. “They’ll make all of your troubles melt away.”
“Will they get Seungcheol and Josh to suck face?”
“No?”
“Damn.”
Jeonghan watches in despair as Seungcheol and Joshua politely smile at each other while they eat. He’s about to burst out to the both of them that they should just make out then and there.
“Are you enjoying everything?” their waiter asks.
“Yes,” Jeonghan replies. But the waiter’s eye is fixed on Joshua.
“Yes, thank you,” Joshua replies with a smile to the waiter.
The water winks at him. “Good to hear, handsome. I’ll be back around to check on you folks later.”
Jeonghan watches Seungcheol’s face sour. Joshua remains completely oblivious.
“So, I was thinking, since finals are over next week, we should go on a camping trip with the crew.”
Jeonghan sighs. “We need a better name for ourselves. And do you really want to take all thirteen of us camping?”
Joshua frowns. “Why not? It could be fun.”
“Do you remember the time when all of us went to the beach and we nearly lost Chan?”
“Oh yeah…”
“And then Soonyoung almost died because Jihoon got mad about being dunked into the ocean.”
“Right…”
“And also, Seungkwan almost got arrested because he was ‘disturbing the public peace.’”
“Never mind,” Joshua sighs.
“Here are your receipts,” the waiter says, deliberately placing the bill in front of Joshua so he can lean over him. “You busy later tonight?”
“Yes,” Seungcheol replies abruptly.
The waiter frowns. “What a pity.” He turns to Joshua. “How about you? You busy this weekend?”
It’s only now that Joshua has finally realized that the waiter is hitting on him.
“Uh...I’m…”
“He’s taken,” Seungcheol interrupts, taking Joshua’s hand. He tenses for a moment but relaxes when Joshua intertwines their fingers.
The waiter’s eyes widen. “Oh, sorry. I didn’t. I assumed that…”
“Um yes. This is my boyfriend,” Joshua adds awkwardly.
Jeonghan isn’t sure if he should cry or laugh.
“Well uh…Have a wonderful evening!”
Seungcheol glares at the waiter as he scurries away.
“What a jerk,” he grumbles.
Jeonghan notices that they’re still holding hands. He smiles to himself.
“Well, I’m going to run to the library now. I have that econ report to finish.”
“Yeah,” Joshua replies distractedly.
Their hands are still interlaced. Jeonghan does an internal happy dance.
“You guys should talk,” he calls over his shoulder as he leaves.
He doesn’t fail to notice that both Seungcheol and Joshua are blushing.
“So. Welcome to the exiled singles.”
Jeonghan sighs, accepting Wonwoo’s soda.
“I still haven’t gotten a date,” he moans. “Now everyone thinks that I’m crushed because they’re together, and they keep offering to set me up with other guys.”
Chan laughs so hard that he falls over. Jeonghan glares at him.
Wonwoo pats him on the shoulder. “Someday.”
“How long?” Joshua asks Seungcheol as they cuddle on the couch.
“Too long,” Seungcheol sighs. “I can’t believe it took that waiter to get us to finally talk about our feelings.”
Joshua laughs quietly. “Do you think Jeonghan knows we actually ended up sleeping on the bed together that one time?”
Seungcheol grins. “Of course not. That’s what he gets for locking us in my room.”
“For the record, I didn’t mean to be awkward after we kissed that night.”
Seungcheol shakes his head. “No, it was my fault too. I should have talked to you first.”
Joshua nuzzles his face into Seungcheol’s shoulder. “Well, we’re together now. And I don’t plan on leaving anytime soon.”
“Me neither.”