Chapter Text
A strange hissing noise by his head is what wakes Shang Qinghua up—thats not a good sound to hear. He groans internally, fearing that some beast had been let loose from one of the other peaks and made its way onto his own. Wait—he’s with Mobei-Jun, why would there be a beast in his room?
That's all it takes for Qinghua to open his bleary eyes and rocket up, spine straight.
He glances around, allowing his vision to adjust as he blinks one eye and then the other.
‘Huh…I didn't know Dawang had wires sitting around.’
Except Mobei-Jun doesn't. This is a cultivation setting after all.
“Wait a second…what the fuck!?” He cries, hands finding their way to his head. He often yanks on his hair when stressed—to the dismay of Mobei-Jun.
However, all he finds is spikes…because his hair is sticking straight up in the air. Straighter than him! Trademark sign of being electrocuted, he thinks.
It's almost ironic, since he got electrocuted.
Shang Qinghua turns whiter than the snow surrounding his king’s palace.
“I'm back here???”
He scrambles to his feet, stumbling on flimsy legs towards the bright screen on his desk.
“Oh my god—it’s fucking cucumber bro.” He grabs his mouse, clicking on the screen till it unfreezes. There—as clear as day—sits a comment posted by ‘Peerless Cucumber’.
Shang Qinghua wipes sweat from his brow, sinking back down to his knees. His lights will be out after the electrocution—he had been so shocked by such a comment that he spilled his noodles all over the keyboard.
The peak lord scoops up the noodle cup, and it's still warm. “On Bing-ge’s pillar, this cannot be real.”
What's he supposed to do? Ask for the system?
“System…?” He whispers miserably, not expecting an answer.
A blue screen pops up in front of him, the familiar kaomoji blinking brightly.
[Loading…]
‘Yes! Wait, how can it even work with no Protagonist? Hack System! ’
[Loading Complete! Welcome Back User! (≧▽≦)]
“What the fuck is this!? Why am I back here!?” Shang Qinghua tries to weakly punch it, but it fizzled away before he could.
[User has been brought back for an important purpose! “Mission: Airplane Logs Off” Has begun~]
“Oi–what is this!? At least tell me what the mission is about dipshit!”
[Answering User: Mission Objective 1—Discover Intruder! User must be quiet and sneaky. ヘ(￣ω￣ヘ)]
Shang Qinghua blanches, he’d just gotten back—why was there already a mission? Why did it include an ‘Intruder’? Was there a robber in his house?
He shakily clambers to his feet, looking at the ruined room and torn wires before shaking his head.
He'd already died once, there's not much that would surprise him.
His apartment is quite small and simple with just a kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, and small living room. He was boxed in on two sides—with one little balcony jutting out the front. It was where he hung his washing when the oven decided to refuse to work. Now that he thinks about it...that's a pretty dangerous idea.
Shang Qinghua shoves his bangs out of his face—when was his hair this long?—before creeping out into the hallway. Of course the lights didn't work, he had screwed them up by dying.
Oh well, his phone flashlight worked. He turns it on and shines it down the hall, shaking in fear.
Even after spending a good three decades being a peck lord, he still hasn't gotten over his natural twitchy personality.
Why should he when there are beasts around!?
He shivers, it's cold.
Too cold…
Almost like something is emitting cold…
Shang Qinghua pauses.
“It can't be…” he muttered.
He scampers to the door of the bathroom, grabbing a random broom on the way past as a weapon. Not that it would do much if the person had a gun or something.
The door opens with a loud creepy creak—like old Disney movies. Shang Qinghua lights a candle in his heart for himself, praying that he'd die a painless death.
His flashlight scans the room, bathing it in a yellow glow.
‘Shower, sink, rug, person, toilet—person?’
“What–!”
He slaps his hand over his mouth, eyes going wide in even MORE fear. Which low-key shouldn't be possible since he was already shaking like a frail leaf.
That was a big ass person too.
Shang Qinghua tiptoes forward, mismatched socks almost slipping on his shitty old rug he bought off a guy in an alleyway.
The person's on their back, long hair covering their face. Shang Qinghua switches off his phone so as not to wake the person.
He bends over slightly, intending to see the guy's face before calling the cops.
[Objective: “Find Intruder” completed! +30 Mission points! User is 2% finished with primary mission! (‾▿‾)^]
He jumps in fright.
“Fuck—System! Couldn't you at least warn me?” He wails, thanking the heavens for the System's ability to muffle conversations.
He crouches down, flicking long black hair off the dude's face.
‘Eh? This face…”
“DAWANG!!” He screams, throwing himself across Mobei-Jun’s shoulders and beginning to wail in happiness.
The man leaps up at the noise, slamming Shang Qinghua backwards into the sink with a loud crack.
“Shit…” Qinghua whispered, groaning as pain bloomed across the back of his head.
Mobei-Jun rises to his feet, a faint blue light radiating from his figure. Even with dazed eyes, Shang Qinghua still admires the beauty of his King.
The demon glares down at the poor shivering man on the floor, thoroughly examining him.
“Where am I.” He deadpans. It wasn't even phrased as a question!
Only due to half a decade of marriage was Shang Qinghua able to keep from dying on the spot from fear. He wasn't in his original body, but that wouldn't stop him from calmly explaining to his husband what was going on.
All he had to do was elegantly get to his feet and begin speaking! Shang Qinghua almost smiles at the simplicity before moving to get up.
Then instincts overtook and he throws himself at Mobei-Jun’s leg, clinging on and bursting into a waterfall of tears.
“DAWANG!!!!” He sobs, tears pouring down his face as he sniffles into Mobei-Jun’s robe. "I missed you so much!"
The ice demon’s eyebrows raise, and his lips quirks up slightly as he bends down to grab Shang Qinghua gently by the scruff of the weirdly thin clothing the man was wearing.
Shang Qinghua finds himself being suspended in the air, the flesh of his stomach slightly showing as he met the eyes of Mobei-Jun.
“Qinghua?”
“Dawang!” The Peak Lord chirps, scrubbing his eyes violently.
—
Previously…
Mobei-Jun’s palace was unnaturally silent. Too silent.
He stalks through the main hall, his robes barely making a sound against the polished stone. The guards had been dismissed hours ago—the moment he realized Shang Qinghua was missing. Missing.
He clenched his fists, blue light flickering faintly at his fingertips.
“Impossible,” he hisses, “He can’t just vanish!”
The rooms were untouched. The study still smelled faintly of ink, the balcony overlooked the icy courtyard, pristine. Yet…one candle still burned low, as if someone had been there only moments ago.
“Qinghua,” Mobei-Jun’s voice booms throughout the room, “Where are you?”
No reply. Only the faint hiss of the icy winds through the latticed windows.
Panic, a foreign visitor to the ice demon’s composed mind, started to rise. He can’t be gone. Not now. Not like…this?
Shang Qinghua wouldn't just disappear. He's a coward—but he wouldn't run from Mobei-Jun for no reason.
Plus, this King knows that his husband is far smarter than he lets on.
He moves to one of the balconies, scanning the horizon. Snow blankets the plains, glittering under the moonlight.
A shiver runs down Mobei-Jun’s spine.
Like the feeling of being watched.
His hands itch towards the dagger at his waist.
He turns around suddenly—but before he could move, a glowing blue square appears in the center of the hall, hovering above the marble floor. It was shaped in familiar colors and characters, yes, but impossible—lines of strange shapes shimmered along its edges, an uncanny drawn smile fixed on its translucent face.
“I—who are you?” Mobei-Jun demands, his voice taut. His hands glowed brighter, preparing to defend if this beast attacked.
He swiped with sharp claws, but the creature faded quickly before spawning back again.
Out of reach.
Mobei-Jun scowled.
The figure dinged, a playful sound that made the ice demon’s chest tighten.
[User 004: “Welcome to the System!” Welcome User, System operates based on Original Plotline ::08D2::]
“I… what is this?” Mobei-Jun’s blue aura flares, illuminating the entire hall, snowflakes drifting in through the open balcony doors.
[Answering to User 004: Plot point Unlocked! “Back to the future?” (＾∇＾)]
The creature says cheerily, hovering closer.
[You’ve been upgraded. A guest has entered the mortal plane. User: [Character Locked] Objective: Unlock Hidden Ending. Optional: Don’t die yourself!]
Mobei-Jun’s grip on the air thickens. “Mortals? Objective? What nonsense is this?”
[Not nonsense User 004! (ᗒᗩᗕ) We hope to provide you with top notch service on your vacation—starting from Mission 1.]
The System replies, spinning in the air like a toy.
[...]
‘What are these faces it's making? How is it speaking to me?’
[Important mission! You need to locate the Intruder, track, and—most importantly—interact with them without causing catastrophic emotional imbalance. -50 Mission Points if failed.]
Mobei-Jun freezes. Intruder? Emotional imbalance? His mind raced in sharp, frantic pulses. This wasn’t a trial, not a regular demon interference, not even a mortal sneak trying to steal treasure. This…was this thing referring to Shang Qinghua?
“My… guest… has been taken?” The ice demon’s voice was a whisper now, frost forming on his lashes. “What guest?”
[Yes! User 002 “Shang Qinghua” already detected missing from Mobei Palace. Probability of panic: 98.6%. Enjoyable chaos: Maximal. ヘ(￣ω￣ヘ)]
Mobei-Jun grinds his teeth. He hated chaos, he loathed panic. And yet…his heart thumped in ways he didn’t entirely understand, as if the cold wind itself had curled inside him. Betrayal…
He looked toward the balcony again. A faint blue flicker hinted at movement below.
“Where is he? Return him!”
The System gave a cheerful spin.
[Mission ‘Airplane Logs Off’ is officially active! Transmigration loading…]
—
Once the repeated greetings of “Dawang” and “Qinghua” had come to a stop, Shang Qinghua was lowered to the ground.
Mobei-Jun presses a hand against his fried hair, allowing the electric heat to cool and return to normal. Shang Qinghua sighs and rubs his hands against his forehead.
“Dawang I—I don't…I don't know why I'm here.” His attempt at acting like a calm peak lord obviously failed, and Shang Qinghua returned to sniffing.
“Where is your body? Who is this that you've possessed?” Mobei-Jun inquires, removing his cold hand from his husband’s head.
“This is my body,” the other man says, gazing up at Mobei-Jun. “Shang Qinghua…is someone else—but only in body! Don't kill me Dawang, I swear I'm Shang Qinghua!” He squeals and clings to Mobei-Jun’s sleeve.
The noble demon clasps this new face’s cheeks in his large hands, giving an experimental squish and humming with acceptance.
“Dawang…?”
“Qinghua looks similar to his immortal body, but he is weaker like this.” Mobei-Jun frowns and lets go.
“How do we get back?”
Shang Qinghua glances up, shivering as he called out for the system.
To Mobei-Jun, he just looked zoned out.
“System? How do I get back home?”
[Answering User 002: Once mission “Airplane Logs Off” has been completed, User and User 004 will be able to return to “Proud Immortal Demon Way”.]
“How long will the stupid mission take…?” He groaned.
[...]
Hurry up! He yells internally, wishing he could shake the System.
[Answer depends on User’s progression of plotline. Does user wish to spend 100 B-points for minor mission alternative? (≧▽≦)]
“Yes! Give me the alternative, holy shit—just make it easier!” He almost cries from joy as the System spins around and dings.
[Minor mission: “Fridge Invasion” has begun! Objective: Keep demonic ruler cool in unfamiliar environment.]
Shang Qinghua tilts his head, “Keep him cool? What, do I cram him into my fridge—fuck, the food is probably going bad from the power cut!” He cuts out of his conversation with the system, lunging forwards as if trying to leave.
Instead, he slams into two large things, both muscly but also soft at the same time. Usually he would enjoy burying his head in his husband's luscious chest—but there's food on the line! How are his precious instant dumplings supposed to stay frozen!?
Qinghua peels himself from his King’s tits and attempts to explain himself.
“Dawang, I have to get to the fridge…”
“What is a…fridge?” Mobei-Jun peers around, as if expecting a creature called fridge to pop out.
“A cupboard dedicated to storing cooled food.” He darts around Mobei-Jun’s broad shoulders, making sure to admire his peak character designing skills on the way past.
The dumplings won't ice themselves!
Mobei-Jun strides after him, catching up extremely fast due to Shang Qinghua’s now ‘impressive’ height of 5’9. He was a much more respectable height in his former body thank you very much!
He quickly reaches the kitchen, rushing in and yanking open the fridge as Mobei-Jun stares at the dirty countertops.
“Where are your servants?”
Shang Qinghua briefly ignores him as he examines the fridge and decrees that the dumplings will survive until the power comes back on.
They’re still in the dark after all, lit only by Qinghua’s weirdly strong flashlight.
“Ah—this one doesn't have any servants Dawang.” He wasn't rich—unlike that filthy rich rolling-in-money Peerless Cucumber.
Mobei-Jun frowns, and then rubbed unconsciously at his forehead.
“Are you too hot?” Shang Qinghua squeaked, rushing back over to Mobei-Jun and feeling his head.
“You're burning!? That's not good—holy shit holy shit!” He panics, scrabbling at a strange metal device protruding from the silver box.
Shang Qinghua slams his fist against it, and it begins spitting out ice at rapid speed. Mobei-Jun’s eyes widen as his husband dumpa the fresh ice into his hands and begins dragging him out of the kitchen.
The ice made him feel slightly better, and they reach a room with two soft chair-looking things and a low table. A strange black screen sits perched on a cardboard box, and Mobei-Jun wrinkles his nose in distaste.
“Dawang lay down!”
He lays down at Qinghua’s command, who begins piling the chunks of ice all across his body. Usually he was able to push out ice using his powers, but for some reason he can't.
The System dings into view, and he scowls.
[Abilities temporarily paused until current mission is completed! >0<]
He waves his hand aggressively, sending the system speeding away.
Shang Qinghua narrowly dodges the motion, voice wobbling in devastation, “Dawang, are you in pain? Is it too hot?”
‘I can't shove him into the freezer! Why aren't his ice powers working—come on Elsa do something!”
“No,” Mobei-Jun murmurs, “System.”
Shang Qinghua freezes colder than the ice he's currently clutching.
“You can see the system?”