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The rules are simple: Vi can use Caitlyn any time she wants, as long as the latter is wearing a very specific blue ring. The same one that Vi won for Caitlyn at a stupid carnival game. A silly little trinket that now has an undeniably powerful Pavlovian effect on her.
You see, even if Vi comes home late at night—tired and grumpy and gross—if she sees Caitlyn sleeping peacefully with that blue ring on, she just has to slide inside her.
If she’s reading a book and Caitlyn casually waltzes into the room, the ring catching Vi’s eye in the periphery of her vision, she immediately brings her down to her knees.
Even when they’re out in public. Vi will drop everything to bend Caitlyn over the nearest surface she can find—whether that’s a public restroom sink or the hood of her car.
It’s a good system. Because as much as Caitlyn gives up her ability to deny her, it is Vi who turns into a whimpering, needy mess.
It’s Vi who says, “Baby, I know you’re sleeping, but I just can’t help myself.”
It’s Vi who says, “Please, please, just come all over my face. I need it.”
It’s Vi who says, “Fuck, I’m so close. Just call me a good boy again.”
Soon Caitlyn is wearing the ring more often than not. Even when she’s exhausted. Even when she’s on her period. Even when they’re fighting.
Even after they break up.
Vi is knuckles deep in Caitlyn who is sitting at a restaurant table at what was supposed to be a date, before Vi so rudely interrupted.
But how could she not? When she walked into Jericho’s and saw that all-too-familiar head of blue hair and that even bluer ring on her finger—what else was she supposed to do?
They locked eyes and Caitlyn knew at once just how thoroughly fucked she was.
“You know,” Vi is saying now, biting into a breadstick while simultaneously curling her fingers inside of Caitlyn. “You two make a very cute couple.”
“Thank you,” the date—Maddie is her name—says.
And at the same time, Caitlyn stutters out, “W-we’re not a couple.”
“Oh?” Vi says, looking between them in amusement.
“We’ve been on a few dates,” Maddie clarifies. “Nothing official yet, but… Things are going well, aren’t they, babe?”
“Mhm,” Caitlyn says just as she clenches hard around Vi’s fingers. “Things are s-so good.”
Vi smirks. “Yeah, I bet. And hey, sorry again for crashing your date. I just hadn’t seen Cait in so long. I couldn’t resist.”
“It’s no problem at all,” Maddie says. “How is it that you know each other again?”
“Oh, Cait and I go way back,” Vi says. “We were college roommates. And lemme tell you… she was a bit of a fiend back then.”
“A fiend?” Maddie asks, cocking her head in confusion.
Vi leans in across the table, inadvertently sliding out of Caitlyn’s pussy. And so, of course, Caitlyn instinctively moves forward too—her needy cunt chasing after Vi’s fingers.
“A sex fiend,” Vi whispers to Maddie whose eyes are now the size of their dinner plates.
“Oh, my!” she exclaims, blushing crimson.
“I was not!” Caitlyn argues, but it falls flat. Likely because it’s such a blatant lie.
Vi ignores her either way, keeping her focus on Maddie as she asks, “Is she still?”
And Caitlyn understands what Vi really wants to know. She’s asking, Does she let you do things to her that were originally reserved for me? Does she beg you to break her, just to turn around and ruin you? Does she use her body as a weapon to ensnare and torture you in ways you never want to stop? Is she yours yet? Has she stopped being mine?
But then, she glances back down at the blue ring on Caitlyn’s middle finger. And she has her answers.
“Oh, well, we haven’t, uh…had sex yet,” Maddie says, blushing even deeper. The poor thing. She awkwardly clears her throat, then adds, “But I don’t think this is an appropriate dinner topic.”
Vi presses her free hand against her chest. “Oh, I didn’t mean anything by it. Just making conversation, you know?”
She shrugs as nonchalantly as she can, pretending like the answer she’s been given doesn’t want to make her smile from ear to ear.
Meanwhile, Caitlyn cannot fully comprehend the shift in tone. Not when she’s still being secretly fucked under the table. And it’s wrong. Of course, she knows it’s wrong. But she wore this ring for a reason, didn’t she? She picked this specific restaurant, knowing it’s Vi’s favorite. She made them sit at the booth sitting in what would be Vi’s direct line of sight as soon as she walked in.
Because, once again, she may be the one dangling at the edge of an orgasm, entirely at Vi’s disposal—but she’s also the one who orchestrated this entire thing. The one who knows Vi well enough to predict her every move. Who can command her attention and give her this semblance of control—all for the sake of being touched. Of being fucked by the only person who could ever do it right.
And, naturally, she comes right then and there at the mere thought of it. At the power that they share. The game that they play. The dirty secret that they keep.
She comes quietly, an expert now at holding in her moans in public. But Vi knows. Of course, she knows. She sees it in her blushing face and glistening eyes. She feels it in the slight jerk of her hips and the rhythmic pulses of her cunt.
She stares at her for a moment, eyes wide in utter awe at how beautifully perfect this moment is. And it always is. It always has been. To make Caitlyn Kiramman come—it just doesn’t get any better.
“I’m afraid we’ll have to cut this visit short,” Maddie says suddenly. “I’ve just remembered we have those theater tickets.”
“Oh,” Caitlyn says. “Yes, right. Of course.”
Vi nods. “I should get going too. You love birds have fun.”
Vi (DO NOT ANSWER): don’t go to the fucking theater
Cait: would be awfully rude, wouldn’t it?
Vi (DO NOT ANSWER): so is coming all over your ex’s fingers in the middle of a date
Cait: didn’t quite have a choice, did i?
Vi (DO NOT ANSWER): do you still have that ring on?
Cait: yes
Vi (DO NOT ANSWER): then you don’t have a choice now either
They are in the backseat of Vi’s car, Caitlyn’s dress riding up her thighs and Vi’s fingers thrusting into her—now at a much better angle.
“That’s it, baby,” Vi moans into a sloppy kiss. “Come for me again, Cait. Show me that you’re still mine.”
“I’m—mmph—not yours,” Caitlyn says, though her pussy is only pulling Vi in even deeper—dripping onto the very car seats that she’s left soaked so many times before. “Not anymore.”
“Yes, you are,” Vi says. “My little free use toy. You’re all mine.”
And now she’s pumping in and out of Caitlyn’s cunt, absolutely delirious with the way her walls tighten and release as she gets closer.
“Say it, baby,” Vi says. “Say you’re mine. Please.”
“N-no,” Caitlyn groans. “You ruined my f-fucking date.”
Vi laughs softly. “I like her. She seems nice, doesn’t she? All proper. Did your parents pick her out for you?”
“Shut up,” Caitlyn groans, but she’s wrapping her arms around Vi now and pulling her in even closer.
“Come on, Cait,” Vi says. “She’s perfect for you, but don’t tell me you see an actual future with her.”
“You’re being a dickhead,” Caitlyn says. “You d-don’t know anything.”
“I know you’re mine,” Vi argues. “As long as you wear this ring, you’re mine. So just say it. Please. I need to hear it. Tell me you’re mine, baby.”
“Fuck,” Caitlyn groans. “You always get so goddamn needy when you fuck me.”
“At least I can admit that I’m yours, Cait,” she says. “I’m your needy, desperate boy. And I need you to tell me you’re mine too. Then, I need you to come for me. Just like I know you want to.”
“D-do I?” Caitlyn asks. “Or are you j-just taking advantage of me? Knowing I can’t possibly say no?”
“If I am, you love it either way,” Vi says. “And you can’t even deny it, when you’re fucking squirming like this. So fucking soaked for me. So please, just admit it.”
“Fine,” Caitlyn gives in. “I’m yours, Vi. I’m all f-fucking yours.”
It doesn’t happen often. Mostly because they don’t run in the same circles. But Caitlyn still keeps the ring on, just in case. And Vi still looks for her everywhere she goes, like a bit of a pseudo-stalker.
It’s all quite terribly unhealthy. Both of them consider stopping, but then they sometimes do run into each other. At a friend’s birthday party or at the park or even at the fucking grocery store.
And suddenly Caitlyn is bent over or on her knees or up against a wall. Suddenly she’s coming. Or Vi is coming. Or both of them are coming together.
It’s addicting and it’s fucked up, especially because Caitlyn and Maddie are a couple now. A quite serious one in fact.
“She asked me to marry her,” Caitlyn says after she’s finished using her mouth to make Vi come.
“Shit,” Vi says, hating the way her heart sinks in her chest. “What’d you say?”
“I said I’d think about it.”
“How romantic.”
Caitlyn rolls her eyes. “It’s not that simple.”
“How is it not simple?” Vi asks, zipping her pants back up. “You either love her or you don’t. And you don’t.”
“You don’t know anything about love,” Caitlyn bites back. “Your idea of loving someone is to abandon them.”
“We aren’t talking about us.”
“Then what the fuck are we talking about?”
They stare at each other for a moment—two pairs of glaring blue eyes. It’s cramped here in the restroom stall, and Vi is blocking the exit.
Both of their chests burn with each breath—lungs filling with anger and resentment and so much unresolved love. So much unbearable heartache.
“Turn around,” Vi says suddenly, needing to chase the feelings away. To fuck them out.
“What?”
“Turn the fuck around and bend over,” she says. “If we’re not here to talk, we’re here to fuck.”
“Vi.”
“Caitlyn, bend the fuck over or I’ll bend you over,” she says. “Those are your options. If you don't like them, then take off your stupid ring.”
Caitlyn looks down at her hand—at the blue band that sits on her middle finger. She knows she should take it off. She should’ve taken it off long ago, in fact.
This would be the smart thing to do. The logical and sane thing.
But then she glances back up and looks right into Vi’s eyes. So hard and furious and familiar. And, all at once, Caitlyn remembers why it is that she’s always been so terrible at making the right decisions. At being smart or logical or sane.
Especially when it comes to her ex.
So, she takes a steadying breath, then quirks an expectant eyebrow at Vi—as if to say, I’ve made my choice. Now you make yours.
And Vi does.
She pushes Caitlyn against the far wall, forcing her to bend over—practically folding her in half—as she pushes up her skirt and slides her panties to the side.
“Of course you’re already fucking wet,” Vi groans just as she slides two fingers deep inside her. “Did making me come do this to you? Or was it arguing with me?” She thrusts into her, grunting already. “Or are you just always this soaked? Are you that good of a free use fuckdoll that you keep yourself nice and ready for me, in case we run into each other?”
“Fuck, Vi,” Caitlyn moans, forehead pressed against the stall wall. “Would that m-make you happy? T-to think about me—mmph—just waiting for you to show up? Would that make you feel all n-nice and special, darling?”
Vi whimpers, fucking her even faster. Harder. Rougher.
“Oh, did that g-get you all excited?” Caitlyn asks. “Is that w-what you really want? For me to c-call you my special boy?”
“Shit, Caitlyn,” Vi whines, losing the upper hand embarrassingly quickly.
“Are you so—ahh—desperate for my approval?” Caitlyn asks.
And Vi, of course, says, “Yes.”
Because she is. She always has been. She always will be.
“W-want me to tell you—mmph—that no one else fucks me like you do?” Caitlyn goes on.
And again, “Yes.”
“Want me to tell you that I n-need you?”
“Y-yes.”
“That I’m yours?”
“Please.”
Caitlyn pushes her ass back up against Vi’s hand, and Vi takes this as encouragement to introduce a third finger inside her.
“Oh, f-fuck!” Caitlyn moans. “It d-doesn’t matter what happens, Vi. Who I’m with. Who I—mmph—marry or don’t marry. Because—ahh—how on fucking earth could my cunt b-belong to anyone else, when you fuck me this good?”
“Jesus Christ,” Vi groans, quickly shoving a hand down her own pants, so that they can come together.
Vi sees a few people here and there. Casual stuff. No big deal, really. Not until it is. Not until she runs into Caitlyn at a café, while they’re both with their respective dates.
It’s fine at first. It’s civil. And Vi, clocking the blue ring, already has plans for what she’s going to text her later. Likely something along the lines of, Meet me at the park. I’m in the mood to make you squirm outdoors.
But the text is never sent because before she leaves, she sees Caitlyn take the ring off and throw it carelessly into her purse.
Vi feels strange for the rest of the day. Confused, and then confused as to why she feels confused. Empty, too. Unfulfilled, but not in the sexual sense.
Yes, she’d expected to get off—sure. But it isn’t even about that. No, she fucks her date twice, then lets her fuck her once. She even comes. And it’s a fucking good cum. But still, she lies there, staring at the ceiling, feeling so completely and utterly lost.
It’s 3 AM when she messages.
Cait: you two make such a cute couple
It isn’t that Caitlyn is jealous. I mean, she is, but that’s not why she took the ring off. In fact, all she wanted in that moment was to be so unapologetically ravaged that the entire coffee shop would hear them.
But she just couldn’t go through with it.
And it isn’t that she’s trying to punish Vi. It’s that she can’t fathom ruining her life. Her chance at actual love. At a normal life that doesn’t involve sneaking around or cheating or drinking herself silly because she can’t stop missing her ex. A life that isn’t Caitlyn’s.
“Come to bed,” Maddie says.
But Caitlyn dismisses her, saying, “I’m not tired,” then going down into the cellar to grab another bottle of wine.
Cait: you two make such a cute couple
Vi (DO NOT ANSWER): we’re not a couple
Cait: well u should be
she seems sweeet
she seems good for u
Vi (DO NOT ANSWER): since when do you care what’s good for me?
Cait: since alway s
Vi (DO NOT ANSWER): go to sleep cait
Cait: wh y does everybdy want me to go to slep
Vi (DO NOT ANSWER): have you been drinking?
Cait: fuck off
Vi (DO NOT ANSWER): why did you take your ring off today?
Cait: bc i had to
Vi (DO NOT ANSWER): why?
Cait: bc i love you
Vi stares at the wedding invitation in her hand. She wants to tear it to shreds. She wants to burn it. She wants to flush it down the toilet.
Instead she puts it on her fridge and marks it on her calendar.
Vi drives up and down Caitlyn’s road, hoping to see her. She does this for two entire weeks, sometimes twice a day—until at last she sees her walking down the sidewalk.
She drives right up to her, rolls her window down, then says, “Hi.”
Caitlyn freezes. She’s wearing jogging gear and looks so sweaty and flushed and perfect. Her hair is up in a high ponytail, a pair of sunglasses on her head and a FitBit on her wrist that’s notifying her that her heart-rate has just spiked.
“Hi,” she says back. “What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to know,” Vi says.
“Know what?”
Vi glances down at Caitlyn hand and sees it, clear as day. A familiar blue bland staring back at her. And next to it: an engagement ring that Vi could never afford in five of her lifetimes.
“Get in the car,” she says. “I’m taking you home.”
“Home?”
“I’m going to fuck you, Caitlyn,” she says simply. “Every single day until your wedding day. I’m going to make you come on my fingers and in my mouth and around my strap. Every single fucking day.”
“I have wedding arrangement to take care of,” Caitlyn says. “I’m quite busy.”
“Caitlyn, I don’t give fuck about your wedding,” Vi says. “I don’t give a fuck about your fiancée. I don’t give a fuck about what happy little family you’re about to have with someone who isn’t me.”
“Vi…” Caitlyn starts.
“Get in the car, Cait,” she says again. “I’m taking you home.”
It’s a daily thing now. Vi picks her up at that same corner down her street. She fucks her into absolute oblivion. And then she drops her back off as if nothing happened.
It doesn’t matter what Caitlyn has scheduled for the day. It doesn’t matter if she’s on her period. It doesn’t matter if she’s sick. Every day, on the dot, she’s waiting on that corner for Vi because it’s what she’s been told to do.
“I’m having a bachelorette party,” she says on the drive back one day.
“Hmm,” Vi says, so completely uninterested in yet another reminder of the impending wedding. It’s quite bad enough that she has to see that goddamn engagement ring every day.
“I’d quite like it if you joined me,” Caitlyn says.
And Vi scoffs. “You want me to celebrate with you that you’re marrying Maddie fucking Nolen? I’ll pass, Cupcake.”
“It’s in Ionia.”
Vi turns to look at her. “What?”
“I always said I’d take you,” Caitlyn says as if that isn’t exactly what Vi’s already thinking.
“Who else is going?” she asks.
Caitlyn shakes her head. “It would only be you and me.”
“For how long?”
“A week.”
“Fuck.” Vi runs a hand through her hair, thinking it through. Wondering if she’s truly this much of a masochist.
“An entire week,” Caitlyn continues. “Just us. Somewhere nobody knows who we are.”
She reaches over, then, touching Vi’s hand. Vi looks down, that wretched engagement staring right back up at her.
“And then you come back and get married?” she asks, but it’s less of a question and more of an accusation.
“And then I come back and get married,” Caitlyn agrees.
“And the ring?” Vi asks, tapping a finger on it. “The blue one, I mean.”
“I give it back to you,” she says so nonchalantly. So dismissively. As if it isn’t the equivalent of saying, I’ll throw your love away, since I won’t be needing it anymore.
“Shit.”
“You can think about it, if you’d like,” Caitlyn says. “But I’ve already booked the flights either way.”
“I’ll go,” Vi sighs. “Of course I’ll fucking go, but…”
“But what?”
Vi looks right at her as she says, “But leave your engagement ring at home.”
“Should we have rules?” Vi asks as they sit at their airport gate, waiting for their flight.
“What, like we can’t say I love you?” Caitlyn asks as she flips through the pages of a magazine.
“Oh, uh…” Vi’s eyes go wide, heart suddenly hammering in her chest and hands growing clammy.
But you do love me, she wants to say. You told me so yourself. And of course, I love you too. But don’t you already know that?
“I’m joking,” Caitlyn says, interrupting her thoughts.
“Ha,” Vi laughs humorlessly.
“What kind of rules are you thinking, darling?” she asks, setting the magazine to the side and looking straight at her.
It baffles Vi, really, how she still has such an effect on her. How she still commands so much of her attention with a single look.
“I don’t want us to talk about Maddie,” Vi says. “Or the wedding in general.”
Caitlyn nods. “All right.”
“I don’t wanna just have sex,” she continues, and Caitlyn’s eyebrows shoot up.
“You don’t want to have sex?” she asks incredulously.
“I don’t want to just have sex,” Vi says again. “I want you to show me around. Take me to your favorite places. Make me try the different foods.”
“I can do that.”
“But I do want to have sex,” Vi clarifies because it’s of utmost importance. “I want to have a lot of fucking sex.”
“You know,” Caitlyn says. “For someone who hates the idea of getting married, this is starting to sound a lot like a honeymoon.”
“I don’t hate the idea of getting married,” Vi says, then immediately regrets it.
Caitlyn sighs. “Right. Only the idea of marrying me.” Before Vi can say anything else—anything to try (and likely fail to) soothe the very visible pain on her ex’s face, Caitlyn is springing up to her feet and saying, “I’m going to buy some sweets for the flight,” and then walking away.
Caitlyn comes back with chocolate covered almonds for herself and a bag of Sour Patch Kids for Vi.
“Do you wanna eat the heads off?” Vi asks.
And this, at least, makes Caitlyn softly smile. “Yes, please.”
Vi places the gummy in her mouth, perfectly between her teeth so that only the head is sticking out. Then, she leans towards Caitlyn, who meets her halfway. Their lips touch in a kiss as they both use their teeth to tear the candy apart.
“Is this a new flavor?” Caitlyn asks as she chews.
“Don’t think so,” Vi says inspecting the bag.
“Hmm,” Caitlyn hums pensively. “Perhaps I simply haven’t had it in a while.”
“Still good though, isn’t it?” Vi asks.
And Caitlyn licks her lips, then she says, “Delicious. Shall we share another?”
They sit together in first class, sharing a blanket and watching a movie together. Something about vampires, Vi thinks. She isn’t all that sure. She’s far too busy listening to the little sighs and tiny whimpers that Caitlyn keeps letting out as Vi rubs her clit.
“I think this guy’s gonna die,” she says, referring to a person on the screen who may as well be an extra for all she knows.
“Uh-huh,” Caitlyn agrees, just as lost on what this movie is even about. Just wanting to say yes because it feels good. Yes because she has no other choice.
Vi dips her fingers lower, then pushes right into Caitlyn’s cunt—all the way up to her second knuckle.
“Mmph,” Caitlyn whimpers softly, her body squeezing around Vi.
It makes them both just a little dizzy.
“Are you close?” Vi whispers. “Are you gonna come for me?”
Caitlyn bites her lower lip, fighting back a moan, before she says—breathless and overwhelmed—“Are you going to b-beg me for it?”
But the answer is so obvious.
It’s dark on the plane. Quiet too, save for the occasional snore. The deep breathing. The clicking of someone’s laptop keyboard at least four rows behind them.
Caitlyn is curled up into Vi, sleeping soundly, her hand clutching onto Vi’s shirt. The same hand that wears that glorious blue band—this time on a different finger. This time in the place of her engagement ring.
Vi slowly slides her hands under the blanket, carefully sliding up Caitlyn’s skirt. Her panties are ruined already. She knows this from the two times she’s already fucked her. So she doesn’t even bother pulling them aside.
No, instead, she rubs her clit straight through the fabric. And as she does, she wraps an arm around Caitlyn’s shoulders, coming back around to cover her mouth.
Caitlyn doesn’t wake up right away, but her body starts to react. Her hips gently buck into Vi’s hand. The grip on Vi’s shirt tightens. And her throat lets out these tiny whimpers that get muffled by Vi’s hand.
“I know, baby,” Vi whispers into her ear. “You’re so good for me, even when you’re sleeping.”
“Mhm,” Caitlyn hums, her eyes slowly starting to blink awake—just to be overtaken by sleep again.
“It’s okay,” Vi says. “You don’t have to wake up. Just let me do this. Let me play with you. You know how much I love it.”
“Mhm,” Caitlyn hums again, letting herself drift right back to sleep, knowing Vi will take such good care of her.
“That’s it,” she whispers, still rubbing her clit in slow and lazy circles. “God, what I wouldn’t give to have my face buried in your cunt right now. To take your ruined panties and stuff them in my mouth. Fuck, don’t you know I turn into such a dirty boy around you? I just can’t help myself. I get so f-fucking needy.”
She slips down, pushing against Caitlyn’s entrance through the fabric. And she can feel the wetness on her fingertips. But it’s not enough.
She looks around briefly, before fully pulling Caitlyn’s panties all the way down and off—still under the blanket and still keeping Caitlyn pulled in close and with her mouth covered.
“There we go,” she whispers, twisting the fabric around her two fingers. “I want you to come on these panties,” she says. “Come while I stuff them inside you.”
“Mmph,” Caitlyn whimpers, reacting to the feeling of Vi pushing past her tight walls. She clenches hard around Vi’s fingers—around her own panties.
“That’s it, baby,” Vi says. “Soak them for me. I want them nice and fucking ruined, so I can taste every drop of your cum when I shove them in my mouth.”
Caitlyn’s hips buck up and her eyes fly open—just as the orgasm hits her. Her body jerks through it, letting out muffled moans that only Vi can hear.
“That’s it, that’s it, that’s it,” Vi keeps saying. “Just like that, baby. Yes, good girl.”
Vi does shove the panties into her mouth, by the way. She does it while they’re cramped inside the airplane bathroom together, and she’s forcing Caitlyn down onto her knees.
She lifts a leg up and places it on the sink, staring at her own reflection in the tiny mirror. Her freckled face is flushed, her mouth is wrapped around the fabric, and drool is running down her chin.
“You’re dripping, darling,” Caitlyn says as she licks up Vi’s thighs. “Has fucking me all day made you a bit desperate?”
“Mmph,” Vi moans around the panties, her hands now burying themselves in Caitlyn’s hair. She pulls her forward just as she grinds her hips up.
“I suppose that answers my question,” Caitlyn teases.
They land in the middle of the night.
“Holy fuck,” Vi says, looking up at the sky as they step out of the airport. “I’ve never seen so many stars.”
“But they’ve seen you,” Caitlyn says, wrapping her arms around Vi’s waist from behind and kissing her cheek.
And it’s so intimate. So familiar. Vi knows she should stiffen at the touch, should pull away. But instead she melts into it and says, “Caitlyn, I have one more rule.”
“Mhm?” Caitlyn hums, nuzzling into the crook of Vi’s neck.
“Can we pretend that at the end of this week, you’re marrying me instead?”
Caitlyn takes Vi everywhere. To her childhood home, to all the best restaurants, to all the tourist attractions. She shows her hidden gems around the town, including a speakeasy that’s been in business for several centuries.
This is where they are now, sitting together in the corner of the room, sharing a glass of liquor that’s stronger than anything they’ve ever had before. Well, almost anything.
“You get so handsy when you’re drunk,” Vi teases her. “Maybe I should be the one wearing the ring.”
Caitlyn giggles. “Darling, you’d go absolutely mad if you didn’t have complete access to me at all times. I reckon it’s best if it stays on my hand.”
“Yeah,” Vi agrees. “Keep it.”
Keep it forever.
She leans in and kisses Caitlyn’s neck, sloppy and needy and uncoordinated.
“I can’t wait to marry you,” she says between kisses.
Caitlyn stiffens slightly, which she tends to do whenever Vi brings this up. Whenever she plays pretend.
She sighs, then, falling back onto her chair.
“What’s wrong?” Caitlyn asks.
“Nothin'.”
Vi downs the rest of the drink.
Near the end of week, Caitlyn gets a call in the middle of the night.
She slips out of bed to take it, and Vi feels sick to her stomach, knowing exactly who it is.
She lies in bed, waiting for Caitlyn to come back, staring up at the ceiling fan and wishing it would fall on top of her.
When Caitlyn finally returns, Vi doesn’t ask her about the phone call. Instead, what she asks is, “Are you wearing the ring?”
“Yes,” Caitlyn says.
And then Vi bends her over.
She fucks her hard. Drives a finger—and then two and then three—deep inside her cunt. She makes her come again and again and again.
“Oh, V-Vi,” Caitlyn moans. “I d-don’t know how much more I can—ahh—take.”
“You’re going to take as much as I have to give you,” Vi says, still pumping in and out of her, her fingers digging into the skin of Caitlyn’s hips and leaving bruises behind. “All of it. All of me. Just take it. P-please…”
Caitlyn comes again, collapsing onto the bed. And Vi follows her down, kissing her back and her shoulders and her neck as she rides the orgasm.
Then, she flips her over. Caitlyn instinctively wraps her legs around the small of Vi’s back, pulling her in close.
“We should sleep, darling,” she says, kissing her freckled face so softly it makes Vi want to cry.
“No,” Vi says, shaking her head. “I’m not done with you yet.” And then she does cry, tears falling straight onto Caitlyn’s face. “I’ll never be done with you.”
They don’t talk about the fact that Vi cried. They don’t talk about half the things that need to be addressed. And hasn’t that always been their problem? That they’d rather fuck than talk? Would rather come together than love each other?
But they do love each other. That’s the biggest dilemma. The only problem here that they cannot seem to fuck away.
Caitlyn holds Vi’s hand as they walk down the street together, squeezing it three times every so often. Vi squeezes back each time.
“You should wear a white suit,” Caitlyn says. “To our wedding.”
Vi looks up at her, blinking in surprise that Caitlyn’s brought this up at all.
“Yeah?”
“Yes,” she says. “You’d look very handsome. And, you know, of course we’ll have to match our whites.”
“Isn’t it bad luck for me to see your wedding dress before the wedding?” Vi asks.
“A bit of a conundrum there, isn’t it?” Caitlyn says. “I’d say let’s risk it, but I reckon we’ve never had much good luck to begin with, have we?”
It’s their last night and they’re together on the hotel balcony, staring up at the night sky.
“I wish we could see the stars like this back home,” Vi sighs.
“Curious, isn’t it?” Caitlyn says. “That they’ll still be there, even if we can’t see them. We’ll just have to look up and remember them.”
“And if we forget?” Vi asks. “I don’t want to forget.”
Caitlyn looks at her, and she knows Vi isn’t talking about the stars anymore.
“Violet…” she sighs.
And it’s the sound of Caitlyn’s voice carrying her name that gives Vi the courage to finally say, “Don’t marry her.”
“I think you’ve forgotten already, Vi,” she says. “I think you’ve only chosen to remember parts of us. Single stars. But we’re a constellation.”
“I didn’t forget,” Vi argues. “You have.”
“No, I’m clearly the only one who remembers,” Caitlyn says, standing up now and pacing across the balcony. “I’m the one who remembers how you fucking left me.”
Oh. She’s angry now. Furious, even. Though perhaps she always has been. Perhaps, once she started, she never truly stopped.
“Cait-”
“I asked you to marry me, Vi!” she nearly screams, tears streaming down her face in a mix of rage and grief. In complete agony. “I asked you to marry me. And you said yes. And then you left.”
Vi stares up at Caitlyn, silenced and heartbroken and so very, very sorry.
“Maddie wants to marry me,” she says. “She wants to give me all the things I had envisioned with you. And it’s not the same. Of course it’s not the same. But at the very least, I know that she won’t leave.”
“That’s so fucked up, Cait,” Vi says at last. “You think she deserves that?”
“Don’t act like you give a fuck about her,” she spits back.
“You’re right. I don’t,” Vi says. “But shouldn’t you?”
“You don’t know fucking anything.”
Caitlyn storms back into the hotel room, Vi following closely behind.
“I know she called you the other night,” she says. “And I bet you didn’t tell her just how much of a whore you’ve been at your bachelorette party, did you?”
Caitlyn spins around on her heel to face her. “She called me because she found my engagement ring sitting in my drawer, actually. The one you made me leave behind.”
“Oh, so now it’s my fault you can’t hide your affair well enough?” Vi scoffs. “Give me a fucking break, Cait. You’re basically begging her to break up with you at this point because you’re too much of a coward to do it yourself.”
“You’re so unbelievably infuriating!” Caitlyn groans. “You just think I’m a coward and an absolute cunt, don’t you? For cheating on her? You think you’re so morally righteous? Have you forgotten how we met? How you fucked me at Sarah’s bloody birthday party?”
“Here we fucking go!” Vi exclaims, throwing her hands up in the air. “I was waiting to see how long it would take you to bring her up.”
“Well, forgive me for not thinking too fondly of the woman you immediately ran back to, after you broke off our fucking engagement!” Caitlyn shouts back.
“I’ve told you a thousand times,” Vi groans. “I didn’t sleep with her that night.”
“You seriously expect me to believe that?” Caitlyn asks.
And Vi practically begs, “I expect you to trust me!”
“Well, I don’t,” Caitlyn says, and this makes them both pause. It makes them both think. It makes them both take in just what this means.
I don’t trust you. I don’t know you. I love you, but I don’t want to.
Oh, how irrevocably broken they are.
“Jesus Christ,” Vi says at last, shaking her head and leaning her back against the wall, deflated and defeated. “Maybe we’re both just terrible fucking people, then.”
Caitlyn sighs, softening as she says, “You aren’t terrible.”
“What did you even say to Maddie?” Vi asks out of pure curiosity. “About the engagement ring.”
“I told her you didn’t want me to wear it.”
Vi’s eyes widen. “What?”
Caitlyn nods. “She knows about you, Vi. About us.”
“Since when?”
“I don’t know exactly. Likely the day you met her at Jericho’s,” she says, leaning her shoulder against the wall, standing next to Vi. “She’s not an idiot, you know?”
“And she doesn’t… mind?” Vi internally cringes at herself for even asking.
She doesn’t mind that I’m borrowing her future wife? She doesn’t mind that I make her come until she physically can’t come anymore? She doesn’t mind that I’m trying to steal her away?
“Of course she minds,” Caitlyn says. “But Maddie doesn’t want to be loved, Vi. She wants to be happy.”
“What a win-win for you, then, isn’t it?” Vi says. “You fuck around and still get your perfect picket fence life.”
“I’m not winning at anything,” Caitlyn says. “I already lost a very long time ago.”
They lie in bed together, listening to the ticking of the clock and the whirring of the ceiling fan. It’s tense. Not in a good way.
“Are you not going to fuck me tonight?” Caitlyn asks suddenly. “I’m wearing the ring.”
“I know,” Vi says. “You’ve only taken it off once since we’ve been here.”
“Yes, well, didn’t seem right to have sex in my childhood home.”
Vi smiles softly, letting out a gentle chuckle.
“I’m not that much of a sex fiend, Cait,” she says. “I can control myself, you know?”
“And are you controlling yourself now?” Caitlyn asks. “Or do you simply not want to?”
“I don’t want to,” she lies. “Let’s just go to sleep.”
She also doesn’t fuck her in the morning. Doesn’t touch her on the Uber to the airport. Doesn’t try anything the entire long flight home.
And when Caitlyn offers her a bag of Sour Patch Kids, Vi eats them entirely by herself, then falls asleep and dreams of stars slowly growing dim.
Caitlyn takes her blue ring off and hands it to Vi, who stares at it as it sits in the center of her palm.
They’re standing outside of Vi’s apartment. It’s the middle of the night and the sky is clear.
Vi sighs, turning the ring over on her hand.
She looks up at Caitlyn and finds that there are tears in her eyes. Are there tears in Vi’s too? There must be—because her heart feels like it’s breaking in half. Like it’s being torn from her chest. Like Caitlyn will walk away and Vi will never hear her own heartbeat ever again.
“You said Maddie just wants to be happy,” Vi says. “Not loved.”
Caitlyn nods.
“And what is it that you want?”
Happiness or love? Are those really the only options? Must they be mutually exclusive?
“It doesn’t matter what I want,” Caitlyn says. And it’s true. It’s never mattered. What’s always mattered is that she get married. That she carry on the family name. That she further the Kiramman empire. That she be perfect.
And isn’t that why Vi left? Isn’t that why Vi broke her heart? Because Vi is anything but perfect. Could give her anything but prestige or honor or anything worth anything at all.
“What do you want?” Caitlyn asks. Because she has to know. Because otherwise she’ll ask herself the question into eternity. Until all the stars really do fade out. “Happiness or love?”
Vi looks back down at the ring in her hand. She takes a deep breath, already knowing what her answer is going to be. Wondering if it’ll make any difference at all.
And then, Vi slips the blue ring onto her own finger.
They stumble into Vi’s apartment, panting and groaning into each other’s mouth—desperate and frantic. Caitlyn tears off Vi’s clothes one by one, leaving them strewn across the floor as they make their way into Vi’s bedroom.
All the while, they don’t stop kissing. Don’t stop tugging at each other. And it helps that Caitlyn already knows the way to Vi’s bed by heart.
She pushes her onto it, then straddles her, tugging her hair back to point her face upwards and shower it with messy, sloppy kisses.
“I have to get ready for work,” Vi says, which is a lie. She just needs to hear Caitlyn say what she surely will say next.
“I don’t care. You’re mine.”
“Yours?”
“My free-use fucktoy,” Caitlyn says and it makes Vi whimper and squirm to hear her own words said back to her.
How many times has Vi called her that? How many times has Vi made her late for work? How many times has she used her? Played with her? Fucked her into a puddle of want and sweat and lust and cum?
However many times it is, she’s sure Caitlyn has kept count. She’s sure that she’s been waiting just for this.
“You’re so pretty when you squirm,” she says, dragging her nails along Vi’s chest. “My handsome boy reduced to nothing but a writhing mess.”
“Fuck, Cait,” she whimpers, pulling her down into a kiss. “Tell me what to do,” she says into her mouth. “Anything. I’m your toy tonight.”
Caitlyn gets dressed in the morning as Vi watches from the bed, lying there naked and flushed as the morning light comes streaming in.
“You look like an angel,” Caitlyn says. “I wish I could paint you right now.”
“Since when do you paint?”
“I don’t,” Caitlyn says. “But you’re so beautiful it makes me want to start.”
Vi smiles softly then opens her arms for Caitlyn to fall into. And when she does, she wraps her entire body around her, breathing in her scent.
Don’t go, she wants to say. Stay. We can learn to paint together.
But what she says instead is, “I wish I hadn’t left. Every day, I regret it.”
“Why did you?” Caitlyn asks, voice so soft—as if she almost doesn’t want Vi to actually hear her. As if she’s afraid of what the answer will be.
“I was scared,” Vi admits, which is something she’s never before said out loud. “That I could never give you what you needed. I’m just some kid from Zaun, you know? I wasn’t made to marry into a family like the Kirammans.”
“You know I never saw it like that,” Caitlyn says as she’s said many times before.
“Yeah, that’s sort of the issue, Cupcake,” Vi sighs. “Everyone saw it, but you. Every event we went to. Every gala, every fancy dinner. They didn’t just look down on me. They looked down on you. And I… I know how much this stuff means to you. This life. The charity work you do. The politics. All of it. And I just saw the way things dimmed around you, when I stood next to you. I saw all the doors that closed for you. And I couldn’t… How could I have lived with myself, Cait, knowing that loving me would ruin your life? And, fuck, it was impossible to talk to you about it, when you couldn’t see it. You didn’t even notice it.”
Caitlyn nods. “I suppose that I was blinded. Perhaps I had the stars in my eyes.” But then she pauses, taking deep and steady breath, before she says, “Or perhaps, Vi, I simply didn’t care because I had you.”
Vi doesn’t go to Caitlyn’s wedding.
She lies in bed all day, instead. She drinks. She smokes weed. She vomits. She cries. She drinks some more.
Six months later.
Vi is walking out of Jericho’s, when she sees Caitlyn sitting in the corner of the restaurant by herself.
All at once, her heart fills with so much yearning that it hurts to breathe. She wants, more than anything, to walk up to her. To talk to her. To hear her voice. To touch her. Anything. Just to get even the smallest morsel of attention—of connection.
Her eyes scan her quickly, taking her in like they’ve been starving from not seeing her in half a year. Her hair is shorter. Her eyes seem bluer. Her skin is clear and radiant.
You’re an angel, she thinks, and gets the overwhelming urge to pick up a paintbrush.
She smiles dumbly at herself. How cheesy and hopelessly romantic. How utterly foolish.
But then her gaze falls to Caitlyn’s hands. And, of course, there is not a blue ring on any of her fingers. But, even better yet, there is no ring at all.
It turns out that Caitlyn didn’t go to her wedding either.