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Looking From a Different Angle

Summary:

Tess can't see but her perspective on the world has changed.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Tess knew it would have happen someday. She knew she inherited the gene to become blind from her mother. It was bound to happen. But Tess didn't let it stop her goals in life; she succeeded to become a homicide detective with spectacular arrest records. She knew it was temporary, she knew one day she'll get blind and she couldn't continue be a detective anymore. But she thought she has more time. She lost her sight and her identity, her dream job, her way to help people, she lost it all. 

She can't dress on her own, how could she know if her pants are inside out? She doesn't see the drawers and cups and need to feel everything to find it. She can't see the cars on the road and she never thought she would need to use the accommodations for blind people on the pedestrian crossing. 

She missed the shot and needed to go and tell Bennet she resigned from the forces. She can't explain why she does it, she can't tell the truth, she doesn't want people to treat her differently. She wants her autonomy and independence. But now she can't do even the simplest actions. Her doctor wants to send her someone to help are adjust her new situation, but if she'll say yes, it will be admission of her blindness and she can't do that. 

The app Matt offered her to use actually helped her. The guide from EyesUp aide her to pretend she can see and no one even suspect a thing. She can mask her disability, she can function normally with her tech, that's what she needs not a stupid stick or guide dog like Mia has. There maybe some glitches and technology problems but they are solvable and Tess is talented enough to manage on her own on those times. 

No one suspect a thing; everything thinks it just a crisis and soon she'll return to the police. But how can she be a blind detective? Well, she actually succeeding in solving crimes with Sunny but it she is not a real cop. She can't use a gun anymore, she can't drive, she is limited and depend on other people. She hated it, she wanted to hate it, but she knew she doesn't have a choice. if she wants to function at all, she'll need others now. Not only Sunny but also Jake and Matt.

Maybe Tess should tell Lucas as well about her new situation, but he is not answering her phone calls and she doesn't want to worry him. She is not expecting from her brother to help her or taking care of her, she knew he has his own difficulties and he can't do that. She was the one who took care of him, her disability is not going to change it. She is the older one, it's her job to protect her little brother. She can't be a burden for him; he has enough problems. Tess never gets over on how she lost him to foster care; she felt like a failure and now if he'll find himself in trouble with the police she couldn't help him anymore. She wished her new condition would might convince him to move in with her or be there for her, but Tess knew better Lucas won't pull himself together for her and she is proud enough to let him take care of her. 

She didn't like Mia because she felt disabled with her, like she really needs help, Mia was a constant reminder of her new situation. She tried to pushed her back but she got stuck outside without a clue on what's her way back home. Yes, Tess is cheating in being blind, because the app is useful and when she is with Sunny, she barely remembers her situation. 

The world felt different now, it is like exploring a new world. A world with louder voices and without pictures only random lights. Everything was louder, suddenly she could hear better, she could sense the direction people approach, but it couldn't compensate on her lack of sight. She might have good reflexes and good senses but she still needed Sunny to alert her when someone is approaching her or try to attack her. She is more vulnerable even if she can work her way around it so people won't figure it out. 

At least her one safe place is still safe, she can go to have comfort in there. She always liked swimming but now she it's the only place that feels the same again. In the water she could never see so it doesn't matter she is blind, when she swims everything is quiet and she is in her zone. Tess just swim at the pool, her body works the same, she is doing the familiar movement she always does. She knows the pool good enough to count when she reached the wall so she could turn around. It was her therapy, she didn't worry from anything when she was in the water.

She never was a professional swimmer; it was just a hobby. But someone asked her once when they saw her leaving the pool if she is professional, because the elite team also swim at this pool. So, it was logical to think a paralympic swimmer might have use the pool as well. Because when she got out of the pool, she doesn't have Sunny with her. She always needs to walk very slowly so she won't slip on the floor and sometimes she stepped on swimming goggles or a towel that someone left behind. She couldn't know there are things on the floor and when someone else was there she seemed blind.

It was frustrating because it was moving from the one place she felt good to look like a blind person to everyone else who see her. But the comfort the pool gave her was worth it. Because it wasn't matter what she looked like to the rest of the world what mattered most was what Tess thought on herself. She might couldn't see physically but she could sense the world from a whole new different angle and it made her a better detective. 

Notes:

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