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We Can’t Be Friends, But I’d Like to Just Pretend

Summary:

After parading Alastor around for all of Pentagram City to see, basking in his victory and his celebration that the Radio Demon is his captive, Vox brings Alastor back to Vee Tower for a conversation.

But as they begin to talk, to reminisce on the past when things fell apart, confessions and truths are brought to the surface, painting everything in a new light for Vox.

———

In which Alastor accidentally confesses his feelings for Vox, Vox finds out the truth of why he was rejected, and they have sex to cope with the fallout.

Notes:

Hey there! After watching Episode 4, I, like all of you, grew feral after seeing Vox and Alastor interact on screen, especially during the Don’t You Forget Reprise. This fic is a little canon divergent to the original episode, as the first part of the fic is their dialogue from the episode before it veers off course and I take things into my own hands.

Title is from Ariana Grande’s We Can’t be Friends (wait for your love). Thought it’d be perfect for this fic!

I hope you all enjoy it, please leave a comment and kudos if you did! 🖤 And look forward to more RadioStatic fics in the future!

Work Text:

Oh, this was good. Too good.

 

Vox had Alastor right where he wanted him. It was easier than he ever thought it would be. Granted, Alastor had made it easy by literally handing himself on a silver platter, so long as Charlie Morningstar and her precious hotel was left alone.

 

But fuck, Vox didn’t care. He had Alastor in his Tower. That’s all that ever mattered to him.

 

Vox stands in front of the window of his office that overlooks Pentagram City, chuckling quietly under his breath as he turns to Alastor, who’s still tied in the chair that he had been paraded around all day in.

 

“Look at all this, Al. I know you feel it too,” he said with a smug grin, his wires pulling Alastor’s chair closer to his desk. “And to think, you could have had this all and without the public humiliation.”

 

He laughs as he walks off, several screens of Alastor and Vox from recent events appearing behind the media Overlord.

 

“This calls for a celebration!” He said with another laugh, summoning a glass of whiskey.

 

“Hm, yes, not like you haven’t been doing that all day..” Came Alastor’s grumbled reply, the deer sinner looking less than thrilled at the situation.

 

Vox summons his wires once again, pulling Alastor’s chair closer to his desk, sitting down on the other side and grinning at his rival.

 

“Whiskey, gin?” He offered, his grin growing wide on his face. “I could call up and get you a Sazerac?”

 

But instead, Alastor stays silent, his head hanging low, hair covering his eyes. Vox frowns, taking a sip from his glass.

 

“You know, I’ve been waiting for this moment for almost 70 years, Al. I’m curious,” he started off, leaning forward in his chair. “What makes the princess and her crappy little hotel so great that the fucking Radio Demon gives up what little dignity he has left to help out with it? Or, better yet, how does a guy from the 30’s land in Hell and somehow,” he sneered, placing his heel under Alastor’s chin and tilting his head up, making their gazes meet, “become one of the most powerful Overlords?”

 

His voice is dripping with venom, jealousy. Perhaps a bit of hurt. But he wants to know.

 

Radio static plays, and Alastor continues to refuse to meet his gaze.

 

“Tell me how.”

 

Alastor tilts his head in thought, as if seriously thinking about the demand, before he laughs. “Hm, no. Our deal is for me to be your captive, I don’t have to tell you anything.”

 

And with that, he turns around, his back facing Vox.

 

“Seriously? You usually love to run your mouth. But I guess being a brat is kind of your thing, isn’t it?”

 

His wires reach out for Alastor once more, turning the deer sinner around so he’s facing Vox.

 

And Alastor laughs, grinning at Vox. “You really haven’t changed, have you? Still so reliant on all those around you.”

 

His face then darkens, his eyes beginning to glow and shadows starting to generate from his body.

 

Always seeking someone to put up with your incessant—“

 

His words are suddenly cut off as Vox summons more wires to wrap around Alastor’s mouth tightly, shutting him up.

 

“You know, I think I prefer the silence,” Vox said with a chuckle, taking another sip from his drink.

 

There is silence for a few moments, before Alastor’s voice echo through the speakers, his smile tightly closed but glowing as he speaks.

 

“What? Don’t want to be reminded of how desperate you were for attention? Back then, you and I were as close to equals as I’d imagined down here.”

 

He leans back in his chair, staring at Vox as he speaks.

 

“You had your decent ideas, you were growing your power, and it was almost impressive.”

 

Vox’s claws dig into the desk, and he feels his irritation growing.

 

“And I respected you.”

 

At that, Vox’s eyes widened, and electricity crackles around him.

 

Alastor looked away, his eyes narrowed, the wires tightening around his mouth. “And then you went and ruined it. I thought you found me, oh….what was it? Inspiring?”

 

Vox’s screen glitches once more as he thinks back to their last encounter before things had ended badly between them. He had proposed the idea of being partners with Alastor, working together as a team to rule Hell, TV and Radio, two mediums that couldn’t be rivaled against.

 

But Alastor had rejected him. Called him by his proper name. Laughed in his face. And he has the nerve to be so fucking smug about it.

 

“Oh, the tantrum that you threw afterwards——now that was entertainment!” Alastor said with a laugh, tilting his head back as he did so. “I did really have to put you in your place, didn’t I? Ah…And now you finally have me, but you still rely on others for your power, like always.”

 

The TV Overlord takes a deep breath as he thinks over what to say next, trying to keep his composure, but all that rage, all that anger, all that hurt comes to the surface and he glares at Alastor, digging his claws further into his desk.

 

“You’re a fucking piece of work, do you know that? You think you’re so fucking high and mighty because you rejected the idea of working together, laughed in my face, had the audacity to call me out by name, and then you disappear for seven years? Do you know how much it took me to work up the courage to ask you something like that? We had been friends for years, Alastor, and you threw me away like I was nothing!”

 

Vox slams his head against the desk in frustration, his screen glitching once more, but he doesn’t miss the way Alastor’s ears flatten and how he flinches at the sound, his smile straining. For some reason, that pisses him off even more.

 

“Do you even understand how much you meant to me? Do you understand everything I was risking, laying it out on the line to tell you how I felt, how I wanted to be more than friends?” Vox sneered, before he groaned and waved his hand, turning away from Alastor. “Oh, fucking forget about it. You don’t know what love feels like. You’re a fucking heartless bastard. Why did I ever think you could love someone like me?”

 

There was silence between them as the words sunk in, a confession over 70 years in the making coming to light. It was tense, silent, aside from their heavy breathing.

 

“You…you think I don’t care for you?” Alastor asked after a few seconds, a bitter laugh leaving him as he sits up in his chair, struggling against the wires holding him down. “You relentless fucking fool. Of course I cared for you. Why do you think I allowed you so close to me? Why do you think I was so comfortable around you? I was flirting with you, I accepted your advances towards me, I let you touch me! I had never allowed anyone to do that until you came along!”

 

“Then why the fuck did you reject me?! Why the hell did you laugh in my face, why the hell did you turn me down so harshly that made me think otherwise?!” Vox yelled back as he turned around to face Alastor, his hypnotic eye beginning to swirl due to his anger, frustration, and how hurt he was.


“What, were you trying to protect me or something? Are you on someone’s chain that’s preventing you from letting anyone get too close, that you’re afraid of me getting hurt or worse?! Fucking hell, Alastor, you act like I’m some stupid damsel that needs to be saved when I can take care of myself!”

 

More silence fell between them as Vox’s words hit Alastor like a truck, and the Media demon stared at his rival in shock as he simply fell silent, his ears flattening against his skull once more and his head hanging low, giving Vox the answer he needs to his question.

 

“Holy shit. Alastor, you…What?” He asked, completely dumbfounded. He couldn’t believe it. Alastor was in a contract with someone? He sold his soul to someone? Who could be so powerful that has the Radio Demon on a leash and has him afraid of hurting those he cares about? “Al, why…Fuck. Why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t you tell me? Fuck, who did you sell your soul to? Tell me, Alastor. I can help you.”

 

You can’t.” Came Alastor’s harsh reply, radio static emitting loudly from him. “You can’t help me, Vox. I can’t tell you who I’m chained to, I can’t allow you to help me because this is my problem and I refuse to be seen as weak! Besides, even if I wanted to tell you, I can’t,” he said bitterly, his Shadow manifesting behind him and pointing at Alastor’s smile with two inky hands, making Vox slump in defeat.

 

“Fuck..” He breathed, sitting down on the edge of his desk and rubbing his hands over his screen, in disbelief. “Fuck, Alastor, is that why you agreed to make a deal with me?”

 

“The semantics of why I made that deal doesn’t matter, so long as you keep your end and leave Charlie Morningstar alone,” Alastor hissed, but there was no venom in it, no malice. “That’s all that matters.”

 

“Fuck, will you shut up about the fucking hotel? I get it, I’ll leave the Princess and her stupid little dreams alone. Right now I’m focused on you and the fucking truth bomb that you just dropped that actually feel the same for me!” Vox snapped, glaring at Alastor angrily, steam blowing out from his vents.

 

Fuck. Alastor cared for him. Alastor felt the same way for him. He pushed Vox away all those years ago because of the fucking deal he’s trapped in. He sold his soul and pushed Vox away to keep him safe from whoever owns him.

 

Alastor loved him.

 

Vox couldn’t think properly. It was all so overwhelming, invigorating, and heartbreaking all at once. This is the one thing that Vox always wanted, especially from Alastor. But how could he even celebrate when Alastor was on a leash, forced to follow the orders of someone he clearly was trying to break from?

 

He can’t think. He doesn’t know what to do. Well, he knows what he’s about to do, and it’s really stupid. Before he can change his mind, the wires holding Alastor to his chair fall limp, and not giving his former rival (lover?) a chance to say anything, Vox grabs him by the shoulders and pulls him close, slamming their lips together in a rough and desperate kiss.

 

Alastor freezes in his grip, body tense, and Vox curses under his breath as he quickly moves to pull away, feeling stupid. “Fuck, fuck, I’m sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking-“

 

Shut up,” was all Alastor hissed before he pulled Vox into another kiss, their lips slamming together. It’s a bit awkward because of Vox’s screen, but eventually they find a rhythm, lips moving against each other in sync, tongues exploring each other’s mouths, tangling together like they were made to do so all along.

 

It’s hot, full of tension, and they tear at each other’s clothes like they won’t get another chance to do such a thing. Fuck, maybe they won’t. There’s a bed on the other side of the room (don’t ask why), and Vox carefully pushes Alastor towards it, backing him towards the mattress.

 

Clothes are strewn across the floor as they strip each other, and by the time they reach the bed, they’re both naked. Vox can’t help the way his eyes greedily take in Alastor’s body, from his furry shoulders and chest, with the open wound he got from Adam, all the way down to his legs and to his hooves. He doesn’t know if he’ll ever be able to do this again, and he wants to take advantage of it in every way he can.

 

“Fuck, you’re beautiful,” Vox murmured in awe, resting his hands on Alastor’s hips.

 

“No need for flattery, dear,”  Alastor said with a chuckle, his hard cock slowly emerging from its sheath, pre-cum dripping from the tip. “Let’s just focus on the here and now, yes?”

 

“Y-yeah, yeah, fuck,” Vox quickly agrees, unable to think of anything else to say. He leans down to kiss Alastor once more, and after a few minutes, starts trailing kisses down his chest.

 

He raises his free hand to Alastor’s mouth, clawed fingers brushing against his lips, and thankfully the deer demon takes the hint, sticking out his long, black tongue and wrapping it around those digits. He sucks on them, coating them in his spit, and fuck, Vox feels himself growing harder.

 

But he continues on his path down as Alastor wets his fingers until he reaches the sinner’s abdomen, eyeing the long, red cock before him with hungry eyes. Of course, Alastor’s cock would be more like a deer’s, considering his sinner form.

 

Not that Vox has been spending any time thinking about it. Not at all.

 

Leaning forward, he licks the base before he takes the tapered tip into his mouth, sucking on it gently. He relaxes his throat as he takes Alastor’s cock  further into his mouth, bobbing his head up and down as he wraps his tongue around the base, and he couldn’t help but be a bit smug at the muffled moan that the deer demon let out.

 

Removing his fingers from Alastor’s mouth, Vox spreads his legs and presses them gently against his hole, pushing two. It’s a bit of a stretch, sure, probably a bit painful, but Vox was impatient. He needed to be inside Alastor now.

 

Alastor’s warm and tight around his fingers, his hole clenching around them so deliciously, and the sounds that leaves the Radio Demon’s mouth are absolutely sinful. Vox never thought Alastor would be so vocal in bed, but fuck, he loves it.

 

Vox thrusts his fingers inside Alastor, curling them slightly, trying to draw every noise he can from the deer, commit them to memory. He’s a bit rough with it, his claws no doubt adding to the pain, but Alastor doesn’t seem to mind with the way he moans and presses eagerly into Vox’s touch, grinding down on his fingers and bucking his hips into his mouth.

 

“If you don’t fuck me right this second, Vox, I’ll tear your cock from your body and fuck myself with it,” Alastor growled, a strangled moan leaving him as Vox’s fingers brush something inside him.

 

“Impatient,” Vox said with a snort as he pulls off of Alastor’s cock, but he’s quick in removing his fingers, just as impatient. He kneels between Alastor’s legs, spitting on his hand and stroking his cock, a bit taken aback as the Radio Demon moves onto his hands and knees, sticking his ass in the air and lifting his tail.

 

He wants to ask questions, but he doesn’t, and presses the head of his cock against Alastor’s hole, letting out a soft breath before he begins to push inside. “F-fuck,” he breathed as that tight, warm heat envelops his cock, and he has to stop himself from coming on the spot. “Fuck, Al, you’re so tight.”

 

“Ah-hm, yes, dutifully noted,” Alastor said through a breathy gasp, his hands moving to grip the pillows beside his head as Vox continues to push inside, his back arching. “I must remind you to not forget the task at hand, hm? I want to remember this.”

 

The last sentence is almost so quiet that Vox doesn’t hear it, but he does, and chooses not to say anything about it.

 

He pushes in until he’s fully sheathed, his hips pressing against Alastor’s, and he breathes heavily as he gives the deer a few minutes to adjust, gripping his waist tightly. Fuck, it feels so good. It’s unlike anything he’s ever felt before, not even with Valentino, and he never wants this moment to end.

 

It isn’t until he gets a shaky nod from Alastor that Vox pulls out and thrusts back in, groaning at the feeling. He sets up a steady pace, not too rough but not too slow, fucking Alastor in a way he knows that they’ll both enjoy.

 

The sound of skin slapping against skin echos throughout the room, along with the sounds of their breathy moans and grunts, as well as the occasional burst of radio static that comes from Alastor whenever Vox’s cock brushes against that sweet spot inside the Radio Demon.

 

“F-fuck, Al, I’m not gonna..” Vox gasped out as he quickens the pace of his thrusts, unable to help himself as he grabs Alastor by his hair and pulls him to his knees. Alastor’s back presses against his chest, and the angle causes Vox to go deeper inside, and he groans as he fucks into Alastor harder, faster, his free hand stroking his cock in time with his thrusts.

 

“A-ah, me too,” Alastor groans through gritted teeth, clawing at Vox’s arm and squeezing his eyes shut, feeling himself grow closer to his orgasm. He cries out suddenly in pleasure as Vox thrusts against his prostate, a loud radio squeal escaping his body, and he tilts his head back in pleasure against Vox’s shoulder, his thighs shaking. “F-fuck, fuck, yes, I’m going to-!”

 

Another burst of radio static leaves Alastor as he moans loudly, coming hard. He spills all over Vox’s hand and his chest, clenching around the Overlord’s cock, and it isn’t long before Vox follows, thrusting a few more times before he pushes in as deep as he can go, coming hard inside Alastor.

 

They both pant to catch their breaths, riding out the high of their orgasms, before Vox carefully lowers Alastor to the bed and pulls out, lying next to the deer.

 

Vox sprawls out on his back, summoning a pack of cigarettes with a wave of his hand. He pulls one out, snapping his fingers to use the electricity to light it, taking a slow drag and blowing out the smoke before he offers it to Alastor.

 

Alastor, having stayed in his position on his stomach, takes the offered cigarette. He draws from it slowly, savoring the burn of the smoke, and he blows it out his mouth slowly before he takes another long drag, the end of the cigarette burning red as he does so.

 

There is a heavy silence between them as they savor the moment while they can. So many memories, so many what ifs, and so much more between them that they have lost and gained in the course of a single night.

 

It’s Alastor that breaks the silence first, passing the cigarette back to Vox, their fingers brushing together as he inhales the smoke before he exhales, his ears twitching.

 

“We can’t do this again, Vox,” Alastor murmurs, his voice lacking it’s usual radio static. “We can’t go back to the way things were all those years ago. Nothing is the same as it was. This was a one time thing, nothing more.”

 

The words burn and bring Vox back to reality, the post-orgasmic haze long gone. It hurts. Oh, it hurts. But he can’t say that he’s surprised.

 

Vox closes his eyes as he puts the cigarette between his lips, counting to ten as he takes a long drag, smoke blowing out his vents before he can even blow it out his mouth.

 

“Yeah, Alastor. I know.”