Chapter Text
You couldn’t blame Malim for being infatuated with Kaelix.
The albino shone so bright in this gray world that forced order, submission; what was there not to like about such a talented, fascinating person?
But he never dared to interact any more than the occasional greetings with him. Maybe it was out of fear, embarrassment, or his nature of getting easily flustered, who knows?
His crush on Kaelix was terribly obvious to anyone who was friends with him, yet even after so many years, their relationship had not improved even slightly from the ‘acquaintances’ category, which his oh so dear best friend Rosco had teased him endlessly about. (He had also retaliated by bringing up the pink-haired’s ongoing situationship with Zander, but that was an entirely other story.)
~~~
That changed when Kaelix was paired up with him for a group project, his heart fluttering at how the albino gestured for Malim to sit next to him shyly, the awkwardness in his movements quickly fading as they eased into conversation.
He got to know about how Kaelix had a fascination towards monkeys, pointing out their features in his textbook, drawing his own version of them with large white, floppy ears and a yellow oval in the center that reminded Malim of an egg, naming them ‘debonheirs’ after his own last name.
After members of his friend group, Nayuta, Altus, Nix, Ryzar, disappeared one by one in the night, and the only news he received about them were that they were involved in an experiment gone wrong, and that meant they were dead, Kaelix had been there to comfort him, soothe him with those kind words, and Malim could’ve sworn there was holy light radiating from the younger.
There was no god in this world, not when humans like them were demeaned as nothing more but objects, but Kaelix was like an angel to someone like Malim who’d lost hope, giving him a reason to continue on.
~~~
Malim’s fingers trembled with dread as the stage lights dimmed, the faint ‘beep’ above their heads signalling the scores being calculated.
Even so, both of them refused to acknowledge the reality of it all, orange gaze meeting heterochromatic pink and gray for what Malim refused to think would be the last time.
He vaguely remembered them telling each other to not show weakness, no matter who died in this round, because that would be your downfall, in this world that craved perfection.
But wouldn’t he be no better than their guardians if he wasn’t so terribly human in how he laughed and ran and desired so much freedom that he knew he could never have?
The last ‘beep’ of the scoreboard rang in his ears louder than the gunshot that followed, blood spraying across unmarked skin, tainting the last bits of hope he desperately tried to hold onto.
Malim caught Rosco before he hit the ground, the taller’s mouth curving into an unusually soft smile, “Why are you crying?” He didn’t even realise he was until the pink-haired pointed it out, “It’s not like you’re the one dying, goofy. How will you pull bitches when you look like this?”
The laugh that escaped his lips was bitter, but he let himself fall into the pace of the easy banter that they’d developed over years, “Oh yeah? Remember how we used to joke that Zanny was an incubus? Well, at least you get to see him now.”
“So you’re assuming I’m going to hell!” Rosco’s voice sounded forced, and Malim’s heart clenched at how his best friend was using the last bits of his energy to talk with him, squeezing his hand, “If I am, then I don’t want to see you so soon, goofy. I expect at least a few months of peace…”
His hand went slack in the shorter’s grasp.
Malim refused to let go until the last second, when they forcefully pried his arms away, the white collar clicking around his neck like a prison sentence, light glowing red.
~~~
Zander had never looked so disheveled, Malim thought, approaching the blonde who watched the entirety of his and Rosco’s round, gently taking a seat next to him.
Neither of them said a word, and neither needed to.
“I never got to confess,” Zander broke the silence first, eyes bloodshot, “I thought we still had time, and delayed it because I was so scared of rejection, and now- it’s too late-” His voice broke, and Malim reached out to rub his hand comfortingly. (He hoped so, at least. How would you comfort your dead best friend’s crush when you yourself are going through the same grief?)
~~~
It was a cruel joke, forcing Malim and Zander against each other just mere hours from the first round, when both of them were devastated over the loss of the same person.
There was no fight in the way Zander sang, voice melancholic and overflowing with emotion unlike the controlled tone that they had taught every human in ANAKT.
It wasn’t a surprise Malim won, though he still cried and begged and prayed for a miracle the same.
Through the haze of tears and a string of pleas, Malim barely registered the shouting around him and smoke filling the stage. When cold metal clamped around his neck, did he only realise Zander had been lifted away in a stretcher, familiar silhouettes leading the group of people- actual, imperfect humans, with scars and callouses and a burning flame in their eyes he had only seen once, with-
He thrashed against the arms dragging him, screaming out Nayuta and Altus’ names until his voice was raw.
More guards trickled onto the stage, just as both of them turned to look at him, wearing matching expressions of conflict, quickly turning into alarm, as a barrage of bullets rained on the group, quickly hurrying away.
He didn’t catch either of them attempting to rush to him but getting held back by guards just moments before, or hear the tearful apologies shouted to him, promises to come back for him.
~~~
Kaelix knew that this was inevitable, agreeing with Zeal for the both of them to just sing together, one last time. No competition, no aliens, no fear of the holographic scoreboard hanging above their heads that would decide their fate.
They had faced against the other two members of By the Beat, what they named their little group with promises of tomorrow, in previous rounds, and they had all sang by the same belief, of one last conversation they would have with each other, of many unsaid words, expressed through the lyrics of songs they’d worked together on.
Now, it was only the two of them left, soon to be one.
Kaelix recalled the days when they were still children, frolicking carefree and innocent among the trees and flowers that they didn’t know was artificial yet, created to lull a sense of belonging to this prison.
Oh, what he would give for them to be young again.
But alas, time stops for nobody, and only continues to tick forward, the time he had left with Zeal shortening.
His heart was beating so fast his chest felt constricting, locking eyes with Zeal, watery blue-green meeting indiscernible amethyst.
The feeling of blood was still warm and sticky and disgusting on his hands, Seible’s lips curled into that ever-familiar smile that he did when teasing him, and now forever frozen on his face. He blamed himself for not holding on tighter, only being able to stare in shock at the blood pooling around the brunet.
Freo’s last expression was peaceful, sunset eyes telling Zeal to not blame himself, knowing the raven-haired well, as he choked on his own blood, Kaelix watching from behind a small screen, throwing up from the stress and horror of it all.
Kaelix could barely keep his voice from breaking now.
A series of rapid beeps, then a final one that felt like a death sentence.
The only question was, whose was it?
Deep down, Kaelix hoped it would be his, so he would be free from all of this, and maybe meet Freo and Seible in the afterlife, if there was one. But it would be selfish, for Zeal to have to continue to the final round, all by himself.
The gunshot rang in his ears, and Zeal’s last moments were of relief, but also guilt, for Kaelix having to continue on by himself, without the companions he’d spent what felt like a lifetime with.
~~~
Malim found Kaelix in the bathroom, bubbles filling the sink as he scrubbed frantically at his hands, no mind that it was already red and raw.
(The blood felt disgusting on his hands, the faces of his closest friends appearing every time he closed his eyes.)
The red-haired’s throat tightened, reaching out to close the tap, firmly pushing the taller’s hands away.
“Malim,” Cool aqua eyes met fiery amber, “I don’t understand. Why do we have to do this? What do they want from us? What’s the point of winning, when the loser has to die, and it’s all my fault-?”
Malim’s breath hitched as the taller took his hands, fingers intertwining. His eyes look dazed, desperate, with a hint of madness if you looked close enough, “They’re all gone, Malim. I might as well do the same, and maybe-”
Kaelix looked empty, nothing like the bright-eyed, optimistic boy Malim had first fallen for when they were younger. But nevertheless, he would love him the same.
“Don’t say that,” The shorter’s heart broke, “They would want you to survive, to live on on their behalf.”
Kaelix’s smile was bittersweet, “Then I’ll fight to survive, until the very last second. For them.”
It was only when they walked out of the room, did the screen blink with the results of the competition.
His heart stopped.
How could he forget? He blamed himself for the oversight, caught up in his own emotions.
Kaelix looked solemn, but not exactly surprised.
The unblinking portraits of Kaelix and Malim hung in front of the two, blue light casting a mocking shadow over them.