Chapter Text
Gabriel looked into his eyes with fondness. Still putting on a brave face despite everything."I believe in you, gorgeous."
"I can't do this," Sam pleaded. "Not alone."
"You can," he said. "If I had a choice, it would still be you. You Winchesters, you're unrivaled at foiling my Father's plan."
"It's Dean," Sam cried. "I can't- You can't rely on me. Not me."
Gabriel smiled at him. His eyes were pinched at the corners, but he didn't waver in his conviction. "It was always you, Sam."
His vision started fraying at the edges, but he kept glaring at Gabriel. "I will never forgive you for this."
Gabriel pushed him through time, weaving him into the storyline using every drop of his grace.
"I know."
It was three weeks before Sam did anything meaningful. When he first woke in his old dorm, he heaved all over the wooden floors. He screamed, clutching his shoulders in an attempt to ground himself, and it was then that he realized he wasn't a he anymore. The feeling of breasts under her clothes made her choke up, startled.
Then a living, breathing Jessica Moore sat up in the bed, asking if she was okay. Sam looked up at her and promptly threw up again.
Her first night was spent sitting quietly in her kitchen, wrapped in a blanket, being taken care of by her dead girlfriend. Her first morning was spent getting dressed, analyzing her new body, and carefully avoiding questions from Jess. She didn't push, and Sam was ever grateful for her.
Her first day was spent packing, the moment Jess went out the door. She'd looked over her with concerned eyes, telling her to call if anything came up. Sam nodded solemnly. She threw her phone out after copying down her contacts in an old memo pad and then destroying her SIM card.
She tore a page out of the pad and wrote a short note to Jess. There's a family emergency. I have to go back into the business and support my brother. I'm sorry. -S
She took her old duffle from its hiding place in the closet, shoved some miscellaneous objects inside, and scrounged up most of the money that belonged to her. She carefully lined the windows with salt, mixing it with craft glue and brushing it on to stick. Another thing to apologize for, but she made sure to use Jess’ old brushes.
Finally, she took every weapon she’d hidden around the house. Every trace of the supernatural. And some clothes she felt matched her as she was now. The Winchester flannel curse was unfortunately upon her. That’s what Gabriel called it, anyway.
Sam let herself grieve for an unnamed amount of time before she left. One last emotional outburst, before she went back to the cynical, repressive hunter life she’d grown accustomed to. Hey, she was a woman now. She was allowed to cry, just once.
And then she packed it all up. Fumbled blindly for her keys, put her money clip in her pocket, and snagged a couple books she would read on the long drive. Any other books she’d need- her journal, her lore, her financial documents- were packed in her bag. She hadn’t gotten too comfortable. It sucked, too, losing them in the fire last time.
She’d lived so much more life. She would have to buy a binder for everything she wanted to write down.
Sam thought it was stupid to write her plans down on paper. She also knew that her memory was monumental shit when it didn’t come down to life-and-death, so she compromised and just wrote down names. A list for the people she wanted to protect and/or keep tabs on.
She started the list with Gabriel. Sue her. It was followed by her immediate family, which presented her first problem- how would she make sure Jack was born again?
Would she let Lucifer free? Sacrifice people, in his wake?
Yeah. Yeah, she would. She put a star before Jack’s name, keeping Lucifer in mind.
- Gabriel
- Dean
- Cas
- Jack
Alright. So if she was going to let Lucifer free, what other apocalypses would she keep?
She thought about Amara, because that woman (primordial being) was good in the end. But she didn’t want to risk Chuck coming back in, if he was even present in this universe. She added a point.
- Charles Edlund
Now that she thought about it, she wanted a list of people she needed to take care of. A kill list, Gabriel called it. Well, she might as well. She shrugged and wrote “KILL LIST” in bold letters and underlined it. It wasn’t like her allegiances weren’t clear already.
- Lucifer
- Abbaddon
- Azazel, Dagon, Asmodeus
- Alastair
- Lilith
- Ruby
If she was inciting the apocalypse already, that took care of Lilith. She hoped another Righteous Man could be broken instead of Dean- hopefully being out of the picture would prevent him from going to Hell.
She went back to her main list.
- Adam & Kate
- Jess
- Ellen, Jo & Ash
- Jody, Donna & Ava
- Claire
She’d ended up okay, but Sam wanted better for her. Maybe she could offer her a place to stay, at the very least give her her number. Look out for her.
- Michael & Raphael
She didn’t like it, but she wanted them alive. Because Heaven was most stable with them in charge, but more than that, because Gabriel would want them alive.
So, who else would she look out for, who might reasonably be on her side?
Mm...
- Rowena
- Crowley
- Kevin (+ Linda)
- Charlie
- Samandriel?
- Andy???
Maybe she could save Max before his household got bad enough. And deal with Ava? She would keep Jake at a distance, just out of wariness, but she could help the others…
And shit, actually, Cold Oak was probably running now. Most of them were in their 20s at this point. That would be first, she decided.
- Andy
- Ansem
- Ava
- Max
- Lily
Although that would be challenging. Thwarting Azazel’s plans so early on would certainly alert him, if not all of Hell. She wanted him dead, but not before she went into Cold Oak- she had no idea what would happen in there with Azazel gone. She needed to keep him at bay, or somehow unaware.
She wrote another name on the list, and started planning.
- Meg