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“Icy-hot.”
“Yes?” Todoroki looks up and finds Bakugou glaring at him.
“Who the actual fuck dips their burger into ketchup, mustard, and mayo separately?”
Todoroki thinks this must be one of those redundant questions Midoriya had explained to him. He was told it’s less of an actual question and used more to state a current fact. He doesn’t get the purpose of such a thing and isn’t quite sure how he should respond.
He answers the question anyways.
“Me.”
Bakugou’s eye twitches. “Normal fucking people, have it combined on their burger— like this.” Bakugou shoves his forward, putting it in Todoroki’s face.
Todoroki blinks, going cross-eyed. He watches the incredibly unappealing mixture of sauce drip onto the wrapper below. Immediately, Todoroki scoots back in his chair and his lips twitch downward.
Bakugou catches the movement. “You got a damn problem with my burger?"
“No, but you seem to have one with mine.”
“Hah?! Say that again! I dare you!” Bakugou leans over the table and grabs the front of Todoroki's top.
Uhoh. Maybe that wasn’t a good response.
Todoroki looks to Midoriya for help. He finds the other already watching him worried. He's sat next to Bakugou and attempts to stop him from dragging Todoroki up and across the table any further.
“Okay Kacchan, it's okay.” He says it a bit like he’s trying to placate an angry cat. Todoroki thinks thats a little funny but stays silent. “Everyone can have their burger how they like.”
And Midoriya tries, key word here is tries, to get Bakugou to calm down when he points to his right. “Kirishima didn't even get any sauce on his— see?”
“Hey! No sauces is perfectly manly!” Kirishima pouts.
“Ah- yes. Sorry Kirishima-kun. I didn't mean it like that at all. You see Kacchan didn't- so y’know—.”
Midoriya is rambling. Todoroki is stuck to deal with Bakugou alone.
Bakugou faces Todoroki once more.
“Why.” Bakugou doesn’t ask and almost stabs his finger into Todoroki’s burger. On the plus side, he does let the front of Todoroki’s shirt go.
Small wins.
Todoroki finds burgers taste better this way. There’s far too much flavor all at once if he has his burger like Bakugou.
He tells Bakugou as such.
“Too much flavor!? What fucking century are you from? It's three sauces.”
“Kacchan, you should really try it before you knock it.” Kaminari sing songs— acting in Midoriya’s place since the greenette is still a bit preoccupied profusely apologizing to Kirishima.
In the background, Todoroki answers the question, “The twenty-third century.” While Bakugou turns to Kaminari and gives him the finger. “Shut it Dunce Face!”
Todoroki looks at his friend and feels both sorry and grateful to Kaminari for the distraction.
Kaminari drops his burger back onto the red tray. “Hey!” he yells appalled. The blonde turns in his seat and faces Midoriya, who is still apologizing. “Midoriya! Bakugou called me Dunce face again!”
“I swear Kiri—” Midoriya turns mid-sentence, “For the love of— Kacchan! What have we talked about!”
“I don't listen to you. You're not my damn mom Deku.”
“Don't your families know each other?” Todoroki questions, a tad curious.
Kaminari bounces in his seat, “Oh they do! Midoriya you should soo text his mom.”
Bakugou snarls. “Oh thats it!” He grabs Todoroki by the collar again.
Here we go again, Todoroki thinks. What did he even do this time?
“Kacchan, we are literally in a restaurant!” Yes, exactly, Todoroki thinks. “Can you at least wait until we get outside?” Oh. That isn’t quite the help Todoroki was looking for.
“Like I give a crap! This whole damn trip he's been ticking me the fuck off. Just last night he complained about my fucking shirt and now he wants to call my mom on me?!”
More to Midoriya than anyone Bakugou adds, “He's doing it on fucking purpose!”
Right. Todoroki’s annoyed now. He asked a simple question. Both times. He didn’t mean any harm by it. In fact, Bakugou started it this time. Bakugou’s acting like a child.
Todoroki almost laughs. “Ha.”
Bakugou scowls in Todoroki's face again. “Are you fuckin' laughing at me?”
“It's just-” Todoroki waves his hand around to the scene in front of them. Half eaten burgers getting cold on the table. He really wants to eat his burger. He’s jealous of Kaminari who’s still chowing down on his fries. “This is quite childish of you Bakugou. It is only a burger. Why can't I eat it how I want?”
“Yeah? That's what you think?”
Todoroki nods. Yes. Finally, he’s getting somewhere. He had said so hadn't he?
Bakugou's grip on the collar of his shirt tightens and Todoroki glances down at the hold before looking back up. He’s met with a smile that can only be described as crazed.
“Well I guess you can eat my damn fist then too.”
Well there goes lunch.
Bakugou pulls back and goes to punch Todoroki but he dodges to the left. Todoroki really didn’t want to fight. He sighs and looks forlornly at his burger and the beautifully separated sauces laying on the table.
Bakugou keeps coming at him and Todoroki guides him further away from his burger— he wants to minimize the damage it takes. Todoroki crouches down and uses his ice to skid backwards. Quickly he flicks his hand to the ground and stops Bakugou in his tracks.
There’s a lot of yelling around him. He thinks he can hear a concerned employee ask in English for them to calm down.
Good luck getting Bakugou to calm down when he is in one of his moods, Todoroki huffs.
Kirishima calls out, “Baku-bro that is so not cool at all!”
Bakugou is still locked onto Todoroki and uses small blasts to get the ice off his feet. Midoriya gets behind Bakugou and pulls him back, lifting under his armpits, but not before the blonde’s fist collides with Todoroki’s mouth.
Bakugou starts yelling profanities and Todoroki stumbles backwards. Seeing as how Midoriya has him held back he quickly turns around and apologizes to the employee.
“We will leave soon sir. I am sorry.” He says in English.
“Are you fuckin’ apologizing right now? I can apologize for my own damn actions! Get your ass over here and fight me like a man!”
Midoriya is steadily walking backwards, keeping Bakugou away from Todoroki, but Bakugou keeps jolting in his hold.
It’s truly unfortunate, the series of events that follow.
Kaminari, mid bite, gets knocked into and his burger goes flying. Todoroki watches as it happens. The burger soaring up up up, and then on the come down falling all around them. He’s momentarily too shocked at the burger getting tossed to notice Bakugou in the midst of it all.
With a yell from him Todoroki lifts his gaze to Bakugous face. Smack dab, in the middle of it, a half slice of cheese slides down his forehead.
It’s incredibly comical. A plot straight out of one of the shoujo manga Sero has been lending Todoroki.
Todoroki watches Midoriya, frantic, try to stop Bakugou from going after Kaminari who laughs, utterly underterred.
Todoroki thinks he should be more worried with the way Bakugou is somehow still dragging Midoriya with him after peeling the cheese from his face.
It’s also unfortunate, when seconds later, Kirishima, who seems to be getting up to provide Midoriya back-up, slips on the ice below his feet and ends up on his butt.
Kaminari is now left to fend for himself.
“Ow!” Kirishima falls. “Baku-bro, don’t you dare.” Bakugou comes forward, scowl still on his face.
He doesn’t seem to be listening to anyone and Midoriya isn’t able to hold him back anymore.
“Hey!” Kirishima calls after him, but Bakugou side steps him. “Ah man.” A table gets flipped. Kaminari is still laughing and won’t stop pointing at Bakugou’s face. He even pulls out his phone to record.
“We are so getting in trouble.” Kirishima says. Todoroki couldn’t agree more.
Kaminari somehow evades Bakugou and runs to Midoriya. Bakugou keeps stomping forward. Midoriya, frenzied, grabs Kaminari and yells at Todoroki. “Todoroki-kun! Over there!”
Huh? Oh. Oh.
Midoriya lifts Kaminari, and his laughter turns higher pitched. “Hey. Hey man. Midoriya. Dude. Set me down.”
Midoriya doesn’t listen and throws him. Quickly, Todoroki makes a slide, stopping it mid air for Kaminari. Halfway across the restaurant, he slides down into a booth. Safe and sound.
Midoriya has Bakugou now in front of him and holds him back.
“Fuckin’ move! I’m gonna beat his ass!”
“That is exactly why I am not moving!”
From the other side Kaminari is laughing hysterically. “Holy shit! Midoriya! Todoroki! That was so fucking cool, we gotta do it again!”
Midoriya, confused, looks over his shoulder. “Uhm. Maybe later? Bit busy—” He grits his teeth. “—at the moment.”
“‘Kay!” Kaminari yells back.
“Ohh, you’re damn fucking lucky Deku threw your ass over there Pikachu!”
Todoroki hasn’t moved an inch and is afraid he will instigate something again if he does.
“Move.”
“No.”
“Do it nerd.”
“Kacchan— look. Around. You.”
Bakugou’s skin is steaming but he looks. A table overturned, others scattered around with their chairs. Ice in various forms litters the floor and amongst it all, all five of them. Todoroki’s hair is mussed up and he has a bruised lip. Kirishima is still on the ground and Kaminari is sat in the booth. Midoriya is breathing heavily and still holding Bakugou. Bakugou heaves, face red.
Their burgers are definitely cold. Kaminari's is completely uneatable.
“Oh.”
Bakugou exhales and Todoroki physically watches the fight leave his body. Midoriya takes a look at Bakugou’s face, and lets of a breath of relief when he see’s Bakugou has calmed down. He lets him go as Bakugou takes in what happened.
“I— I didn’t-”
The door is kicked open. “Police! Everyone hands up! No one move!”
Todoroki turns and lifts his hands in surrender.
Well Fuck.
“I allowed you all to split off. To choose your own meals. It seems that was my fault. My bad. I should have knownyou’d all start a fight in the middle of a Five Guys.” Aizawa has been yelling at them for quite a while now. He keeps mumbling and going back to points he already made.
They’re currently back in the bus, the rest of their classmates are still out eating lunch. Luckily Aizawa was able to pull out his license and show proof of them coming back from the Uniting Hero’s and Students Conference which had the police more willing to listen.
Aizawa pinches his forehead. “What was it over again.”
“Half n Half pissed me off.”
“Bakugou didn’t like how I ate my burger.”
“Kacchan got his panties in a twist.”
“I don’t like to point fingeres but Baku-bro was not being nice.”
“I tried to stop it. I’m sorry Aizawa-sensei…”
Bakugou twists in his seat. “Haah?? Fuck off Sparky! And it was more than fuckin’ that Icy-Hot! Also— shut it Shitty Hair!”
“Everyone! Quiet!”
Bakugou grumbles but they all go silent and face forward again.
“Right. So I can’t fully discipline you properly in the U.S.A., but you are all not allowed to leave your hotel rooms for the rest of the trip. That includes Disney World.”
Kaminari jumps out of his seat. “What! We were literally supposed to go tomorrow! I’ve been on my best behavior for this whole trip!”
Aizawa gives them the look. Kaminari yelps and sits back down. Kirishima gives him a sympathetic pat on the back.
“You all are lucky nothing was broken and the restaurant decided they’d rather you gone than press charges. Do not. Do that again. When we get back to Japan we will talk to the principal about what to do with you.”
He gives them a once over. “As I said before, I will be notifying your parents as well.”
Everyone but Todoroki groans in disagreement.
“I don’t want to hear it. Be on your best behavior or I will tie you all together and force you to get used to each other and quick. Any questions?”
No one dares say anything. He nods and moves to the front of the bus. Todoroki thinks he was mostly whispering to himself but he catches him say, “Fucking be a teacher they said, it’s easy they said.”
The group sits in silence for awhile.
Todoroki looks out the window. Bakugou does the same, arms crossed across the aisle.
Midoriya fidgets with his fingers and Kirishima is consoling a pouting Kaminari.
Todoroki looks at the restaurant sign again. Five Guys. He looks back at them and counts, one— himself. Two, three, four, and five makes Bakugou.
He snorts.
“Stop fucking laughing over nothing! What is funny about this?” Bakugou barks.
Midoriya blocks Bakugou from looking at Todoroki. “Kacchan... please. Not again...”
Todoroki’s mouth twitches up and he points at the sign. “Five guys.”
Kirishima frowns. “Yeah man? We just tried to eat there. Are you good? Did Bakugou give you a concussion?” he asks worried.
Todoroki shakes his head. Bakugou yells something about how ‘he knows he damn well dodnt do anything bad enough to give him a concussion.’
“Five Guys. We’re five guys.”
Midoriya’s confused too. “Yeah?”
Kaminari perks up. “Ohmygod! Five guys!” he exclaims.
“We were five guys fighting at five guys! In Florida of all places!”
Todoroki looks back at Kaminari and nods in agreement. Kaminari beems.
“Fuckin’ stupid. That’s not funny at all.”
But Todoroki notices Bakugous lip twitch upwards when Kirishima and Midoriya start talking about if they’ll be on the news because of this. Kaminari whines hoping they don’t— saying something about how he didn’t do his hair up super nice today. Todoroki can’t help but think he hopes this pisses his dad off— puts another smear on the Todoroki name.
“Fuckin losers,” Bakugou whispers and goes back to staring out the window. Todoroki watches him smirk against the glass. Rolling his eyes, Todoroki faces his own window again. He can imagine Bakugou wouldn’t mind being known as the guy who won against five guys.
Todoroki sighs. He really wishes he could have finished that burger.