Work Text:
ding-dong-ding-dong
Taki’s eyes fluttered open as she heard Hanasakigawa Girls’ School’s bell ring, signaling the end of the day’s classes. “(Seems I slept through class again…)” The first-year thought, half-disappointed in herself. Her numerous sleepless nights spent composing for MyGO!!!!! were definitely catching up with her, but she couldn’t bring herself to care that much. If it meant Tomori’s lyrics could find their sound, she’d do it all over again, and then some, until she falls asleep for good.
“...and don’t forget to fill in the form by next week, everyone!”
“...Huh?” Taki looked around on her desk, eventually spotting a new piece of paper, which was placed carefully next to her while she was sleeping. “Parent-Teacher Meeting Scheduling Form… what…?”
“It’s important.”
“Ah– U-Umiri! Don’t scare me like that, jeez…” Taki jumped from surprise, having not heard her classmate approach.
“The teacher said that everyone had to come, even if their parents couldn’t.” The bassist continued, setting down the usual drink next to the drummer.
“How’s that a Parent-Teacher meeting then…?”
“Supposedly, it’ll also serve as a way to check on and discuss students’ progress.”
“*sigh*... Well, it’s not like I can do much about that… what a pain…” Taki complained as she took a sip, catching a glimpse of blonde hair passing by her desk as she did. “Hey, Misumi-san, what about you? How do you feel about this?”
“U-Um–” The vocalist thought for a moment. She hadn’t expected to be stopped by Taki so suddenly, especially since the two weren’t that close just yet. “It’s… well, I don’t think my parents will make it… they’re very busy.” The idol half-lied with a smile. “I’ll just come on my own…”
“Is that so?” Umiri replied. “My parents… well, I wouldn’t be surprised if they dropped everything to come.”
“Haaah? Wouldn’t have taken you for a mama’s girl, Umiri.”
“Please don’t call me that. It threatens my image as the cool, serious bassist.”
“God, what is it with you… I’m sorry you have to deal with her in your band.”
“It’s no trouble at all…! Umiri-chan is very helpful.”
“See? I’m seen as reliable. Misumi-san said so herself.”
“*sigh* Well, I have to go.”
Taki got up, waved goodbye to her classmates, and then turned her attention back to the form. “Parents, huh…?”
“Would that finally make them pay attention to me…?”
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Ten years earlier
“Mommy!” Taki yelled as she happily ran towards her mother. “Look what I did at school today!”
“Hm? What is it, Taki?”
“I drew this on the computer during recess!” The young girl boasted, as she handed her mother a print-out of her work.
The piece of paper depicted a drawing of Taki, her parents, and Maki, all holding hands and smiling, with two trees on either side of them, and a yellow sun in the sky. It was imperfect in the way a child’s drawing often is, but the kindergartener was still smiling brightly, proud of her handiwork.
“Hmm… that’s nice, Taki.” Her mother replied somewhat dismissively, patting her on the head with a smile. “Your sister made even nicer drawings at your age, though… you should try using crayons like her next time!”
“Oh… okay…! I just… I like doing it on the computer better, I think, so…!”
“Just give it a try, all right? Computers are no good for children your age, anyhow.”
“M-Mhm…” Taki forced a smile.
At the end of the day, she just wants her mom to be proud of her. If she’s still drawing anyway, does it matter whether or not she’s doing it on paper or a screen?
Does it matter whether she’s happy when she’s doing it or not?
--------------------------------------------------------------
Present day
Taki clutched the form in her hands as she prepared herself mentally to cross the threshold into the Shiina household’s living room. When was the last time she initiated a conversation with her parents? Maybe middle school, when she was in CRYCHIC and wanted to tell them about it? These days, they tended to try and intercept her when she got home, and they rarely ever got a straight answer out of her, be it about her time at school, or her extracurricular activities. They were still asking about CRYCHIC even nowadays, having never been told that they disbanded.
“*sigh*” Taki simply let out her frustrations quietly, before stepping into the room. “Mom, Dad, I… um, I got this form at school, and you need to look at it…”
“Oh, Taki. How was school today?” Her father asked, noticing her presence only just now.
“U-Um, fine. Can you–”
“Hm? What’s that?”
“Like I said, it’s a form you need to fill in–”
“Oh, I see. Parent-Teacher Meeting, huh… honey, what’s your schedule like on that day?”
“Hmm… I should be free, actually.” Taki’s mother replied.
“Me too. I guess we should be able to go then. Do you have a pen, Taki?”
“...Here.”
“...And there! Be sure to bring it back to your teacher, all right?”
“...Of course. That’s why I talked to you about it in the first place.” Taki replied matter-of-factly, before beginning to leave. “Oh, and… Mom, Dad?”
“Hmm?”
“...Thanks.”
As she walked back to her room, filled-out form in hand, Taki couldn’t help but smile. Maybe she could finally, finally get a day with her parents to herself.
--------------------------------------------------
Five years earlier
“*sniff* *sob*” Taki ran home from her elementary school, sobbing the entire way.
Today had been an awful day for her; First, she got her test results back from the previous week, which weren’t good enough for her to feel satisfied, and then at lunch, they happened to be serving a dish with shiitake mushrooms– leading to several of her classmates teasing her about the similarities between her name and the name of the ingredient for the rest of the day, laughing at her all the while. She already felt vulnerable enough due to her results, and her peers’ bullying only made her feel worse. Eventually, though, she made it back home, running into the living room.
“*hic* D-Dad…! I had a b-bad day today– huh…?”
“Good job, Maki!” As she entered, the young girl was surprised to see her sister being praised by her father.
“Dad… thank you, but it’s nothing, really!”
“No need to be so modest! Your results have been nothing but excellent. With these, I’m sure you’ll be able to enter any high school you desire!”
“Oh, um… about that, I was thinking I could go to Haneoka? I’ve heard their music department is really good, and it’s a prep school, too!”
“I’m all for it! Doesn’t that school have a scholarship program for honor students, too?”
“U-Um… Dad…?” Taki said shyly, trying to get her father’s attention.
“Oh, Taki. You’re home. Look at this! Your sister has near-perfect scores in every class! Isn’t that great?”
“O-Oh… yeah… congrats, big sis.” Taki forced out, feeling even more ashamed of her own results.
“Oh, sorry, look at me hogging the spotlight, haha… weren’t you about to say something, Taki?”
“Um… no, it’s nothing… b-bye.” Taki turned back, running to her room.
“H-Hey, Taki, wait…!”
The eleven-year-old didn’t stop, even though her sister was calling out to her. She couldn’t let them see her tears. She couldn’t let them know about her failure.
Their disappointed faces would be too much to handle.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Present day
“*sigh*”
Taki paced around in the hall next to Class 1-B’s entrance. Of course, of course they’d be late, today of all days… They were lucky she was pretty far down the list due to her last name. As she waited, she did her best not to look too angry; she already wasn’t so popular among her peers. There was no need to have their parents think she was no good, too.
“Aah, where could that daughter of mine be… I need to find her~!”
“...?” Taki lifted her gaze from her phone to see a woman speedwalking in the halls while looking for her daughter frantically left and right. As she passed her, not slowing down for a moment, the drummer couldn’t help but let out another sigh. “Whoever they are, they must be lucky to have someone who cares this much… well, maybe not. Sounds annoying.”
“...” Giving in to her feelings, Taki began to type in her mother’s number, deciding to get answers as to their whereabouts for herself. As she brought the phone to her ear, she felt her heart begin to beat just a little faster.
Eventually, after a few beeps, she picked up. “Hello? Taki?”
“Mom. Where are you two? You were supposed to get here thirty minutes ago– wait… that sound…”
“Ah…” Taki’s mother began, seeming somewhat embarrassed. “Sorry…”
“Don’t fucking “sorry” me! That better not be Maki’s orchestra I’m hearing–”
“Taki. Language. We simply forgot, is all. Your sister happened to have a recital on the same day, and–”
“Fuck your “language”! You promised! What am I supposed to do now–”
“I have to go. Phones are prohibited during the show. We’ll talk later, okay?”
“Don’t hang up on me! Are you serious–”
Beep. Beep. Beep.
“...”
Taki simply let her arm fall to her side, as if her muscles gave out. She didn’t have the strength for anything anymore.
Once more, she felt like she was nothing more than decoration. Something unimportant. Something less than human.
And so, she began to run.
------------------------------------------
One year ago
“...And with that, we walked off stage.”
“Oh, I see…”
Taki sat down at the living room table, a cup of tea in hand. She had just finished talking about her day, feeling happy with how things went after her first concert with CRYCHIC, to the point of talking to her family about it.
The drummer had to admit that things hadn’t been going so well at home lately. She was growing more and more distant from her parents, and was actively avoiding her sister as much as possible. It’s not that she hated the latter; she never really did her wrong. But wherever she went, people talked. They talked about Maki Shiina and her incredible, award-winning trumpet playing. They looked at Taki and saw her in her, and expected the world of her as a result. If she rose to the challenge and met those expectations, people would simply shrug it off, saying that it’s “as expected from Maki Shiina’s sister”. If she failed to meet those lofty standards, they would look at her with worry, asking if she was okay, if she was feeling sick, and other such things.
It made Taki sick, all right. Always being compared. Always seeing this disgusting pity in everyone’s eyes. This half-hearted concern, if it didn’t morph into outright disappointment. And most of all, she hated how she couldn’t blame them. She could tell; Maki was amazing. Even more so than people gave her credit for. Whenever she asked her for help, she’d know exactly what advice to give. Every test she ever brought home was flawless. She could play sophisticated melodies on her first try, after only reading the score once or twice. She was a prodigy.
Every time she looks at Maki Shiina, she feels her throat close up, and her legs begin to shake.
But not anymore. Now, she had CRYCHIC. Tomori didn’t give her last name when she introduced the band’s members. No one there knew her as Taki Shiina. She was just “Taki-chan”. Her drumming was all they knew, and while it wasn’t perfect, she could still hear the roars of the crowd in her ears. She could still see the comments praising her playing on social media. Taki Shiina has to be perfect to uphold her sister’s legacy. But Taki of CRYCHIC can make mistakes, she can miss her cue, or be a second too early, and people still cheer for her all the same.
She wanted to talk about it with her family. She wanted them to see. Even if she wasn’t Maki, she still deserved praise. She still deserved care. She still deserved love.
“That’s awesome, sis! I’m glad it went so well~”
“Ah– um… thanks, Maki.”
“Yes, yes, it’s good to have hobbies…”
“...Hah?” Taki turned towards her father, who didn’t seem eager to praise her like her sister did.
“H-Hey, Dad… come on, be a little more happy for Taki, okay?”
“Oh, don’t get me wrong, I’m happy you’re having fun…”
“(What about the fact people found it meaningful…?)” The drummer thought, her hand gripping her teacup just a bit tighter as she took a sip.
“Yes, I agree, it’s good you’re having a good time,” her mother continued, “but… is this really what you want to do?”
“What? Why wouldn’t it be?”
“It’s just… being in a band like this isn’t the best path for your future, isn’t it? It’s hard to stick out, especially with this “era of the girl band” thing going on… and you stayed out so late tonight…”
“...So what? I’m having fun, and people are liking it.”
“Mhm! And the fact girl bands are in right now can only be good for her, right?” Maki insisted, backing up her younger sister.
“I’m just concerned, is all. Music can definitely be a good path, but you can’t go about it so recklessly…” her father added.
“...” Taki felt her eyebrow twitch. She knew where this was going. “Go on.”
“I mean, isn’t classical music more revered? You could join an orchestra, like Ma–”
Suddenly, Taki felt her blood boiling hot as lava, and threw her teacup across the room, the porcelain smashing into pieces as it collided with the wall. “Again with this!? It’s always “Maki this”, “Maki that”! What about me, huh!? What about what I like? What I want!?”
“Taki! This behavior is inexcusable!”
“And who gives a shit about my future!?” The teenager continued, ignoring her father, “I’m in middle school, dammit! Can’t I just enjoy my life before you come in and ruin it for me!?”
“Language!”
“You can take your language and shove it up your ass!” Taki spat, before turning her back to her family and running upstairs to her room, leaving her furious parents and concerned sister behind.
As soon as she slammed the door behind her, Taki felt tears well up in her eyes. So, this was it…? No matter what she did, no matter how hard she tried, she would always be a lesser Maki to her parents… as she felt salt on her lips, the girl threw herself on her bed, not even bothering to take off her uniform, and let her sadness stain her pillow without restraint.
“*sob* *hic*”
knock knock knock “Taki…?”
No. Not her. Taki wanted to scream. But she couldn’t find the strength.
“I’m coming in, okay…?” Slowly, the door opened with a creak, and Maki slowly walked in, sitting on the bed beside her sister.
“...*sniff*”
“I know, I know, Taki… I’ve talked to Mom and Dad about this dozens of times, but they just won’t listen…”
“...”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry your sister is giving you such a hard time… I wish I could take your tears away, so you could smile again like you did when you got home tonight…”
“*hic*”
“Next time you and your friends have a concert… I’ll be there, okay? And I’ll cheer you on so loud you can hear me from backstage!”
Taki felt touched. She felt truly, genuinely touched. Maki was telling her everything she wanted to hear from her. It was like she read her mind and practiced the perfect response before opening the door. But she knew she didn’t. She wasn’t the type to premeditate these things. She was just… just perfect. At everything. Even reassuring and validating her.
And Taki hated that. She hated it with all her heart and soul.
“...Get out.”
“...What…? Taki…”
“GET OUT!”
“I…”
“J-Just… *sob*... j-just get out… please…”
“...”
Obeying her sister’s demands, Maki got up, and hesitantly walked away, closing the door behind her quietly… though not before softly caressing her hand, leaving her a sign of quiet support.
“Y-You… *sniff*...” Taki whispered to herself, “why’d you go and do that…?”
-----------------------------------------------------------
Present day
Taki felt a familiar feeling streaming down her face as she dashed through Hanasakigawa’s halls, not even bothering to avoid people as she did. She hated to show her weakness like this. She needed to find someplace to hide. Someplace quiet, where she could cry her eyes out until she can appear to have it all together. Can’t have people thinking she’s weak, or not good enough. No, no, that can’t happen.
Eventually, Taki’s aimless running led her to the corridor connecting the high and middle school buildings. As she thought of her options, she noticed the storage room used to keep cleaning supplies and the like had its door slightly open. Thinking she couldn’t find anywhere better without making even more of a scene, the drummer reached out for the doorknob, turned it, and–
“Taki-san. Good day.”
“Aah– T-Taki-chan…! U-Um, it’s not what you think…!”
…There, in the darkness of the storage room, were Umiri and Uika, sitting on the floor, their faces unusually close to one another.
“Uh– shit.” Taki let out, wiping her tears away with her sleeve in a panic. “D-Don’t mind me. I’ll leave you two to do… whatever it is you’re doing. Talk to you late–”
“W-Wait! Taki-chan…!”
“...Yeah?”
“Are you… here to avoid the meeting too?”
“Huh?” Taki stopped, not expecting Uika to say this. “Um… more or less, I guess.”
“...Us too.”
“Misumi-san, please. This ruins my cool rock star image…”
“Umiri-chan, come on…!”
“*sigh* Fine. Yes, we’re hiding from these responsibilities too. Join us, won’t you?”
“...” Surrendering herself to her classmates’ insistence, Taki walked back into the room, closing the door behind her, and sat across from the two, avoiding their patient gazes out of shame.
“Um…” Uika began, seemingly wanting to break the silence, but not quite wanting to talk about herself just yet.
“I am here because I am hiding from my mother.” Umiri said, picking up on her bandmate’s efforts and hoping to be helpful.
“Haah? So she’s here and you’re just avoiding her?”
“She’s… intense. I was actually on my way here to hide when I saw Misumi-san looking down. Not wanting to leave her be, I simply dragged her here.”
“You really could have explained earlier…! Being dragged to a dark room like this with no warning or explanation… I thought you wanted something else from me…!”
“...Looking down, huh?” Taki spoke, trying to bring the conversation back on topic.
“Y-Yes. I, um–”
“Wait.” Umiri cut in, putting her hand over Uika’s mouth, earning a small squeak of surprise from the girl. “Be quiet. I hear something…”
“...?” Taki raised an eyebrow.
“...-chan! U-chaaaan! Where are you? Your dear mother is getting worried! I just want to…”
“...That was close.” Umiri whispered once the voice was out of range.
“...U-chan, huh?”
“Please don’t bring it up…”
“A-Ahem…” Uika pretended to clear her throat, “as I was saying, I wasn’t feeling very good, because, um… my grades haven’t been very good. A-And I’m worried about my parents finding out.”
“...Haah? Misumi-san, you’re always top of the class. What are you talking about?”
“O-Oh– um… sorry. This is a bad habit I’m trying to shake…” Uika stammered, before taking a deep breath to center herself. “The truth is… my family history is… complicated. I haven’t seen my parents in a few years… I never really felt like I was part of the family. My sister was everything I wasn’t to them, and… well, I couldn’t take it anymore… so I moved to Tokyo, and got a job as an idol.”
“...!” Taki felt a shiver go down her spine as she listened to Uika’s story.
“Long story short… when I see all these kids with their parents, some happy, some annoyed… it makes me feel… melancholic.”
“You… you too, Misumi-san…?”
“What– wait, Taki-chan, are you okay…? That look in your eyes…”
“I…”
Taki tried to calm herself. She hadn’t expected anyone to relate to her like this; especially not the professional, perfect-seeming Uika. Of course, she knew she had her own skeletons in her closet; she heard more than her share of what happened to Ave Mujica when they were just starting out from Umiri. But to think that her family situation was so similar to hers… it made her feel odd. She felt a bitter warmth deep inside, something not too different from how she feels whenever she reads Tomori’s lyrics. This feeling of being seen, of being told she isn’t alone… she still didn’t know how to handle it, and it pierced right through her walls, like it always did.
“I… I also don’t… feel at home, at home…” The drummer forced out, fighting with herself to connect with this girl who seemed so like her, against all odds.
“Taki-san…? It’s rare to see you being so… vulnerable.”
“...My parents… they were supposed to be here today. But… at the last minute, they went to
Maki’s recital instead, without telling me first…!”
“Ah…” The bassist let out, feeling somewhat remorseful in retrospect for complaining about her mother’s clinginess now.
“This always happens! Maki’s always the one they talk about, or use as an example against me! She’s always the one they prefer! I can’t… I can’t stand this…! I’m not Maki! I’m not as good as her, and I never will be…!”
By now, bitter tears were falling from Taki’s eyes. Her usual thick shell, keeping everything and everyone out, seemed to have been left outside of the storage room, as she let out her deepest feelings to her classmates. Wanting to be helpful, neither Umiri nor Uika spoke a word. They simply listened to Taki, let her vent her frustrations, and once she fell quiet, they began to speak up.
“Taki-chan… I… I’m not sure what to say, but… I understand. This is all so… ah– gosh, I’m no good at this…!” Uika spoke awkwardly, trying to find the right thing to say. “Umiri-chan, help me…!”
“Leave it to me.” Umiri, feeling emboldened by her bandmate’s trust in her, scooted over closer to Taki, taking her hand in hers, and bringing her face close to hers.
“U-Umiri… that’s… too close…!”
“...” The bassist didn’t move, simply staring deeply into her friend’s eyes, until she began to blush. Finally, after what felt like an eternity to the MyGO!!!!! member, she spoke. “...Your eyes are red.”
“...!” Feeling her usual embarrassed anger returning, Taki pushed the girl away by placing her hand on her face, the momentum of the movement pushing her backward until her back was on the floor.. “You idiot…! Of course they are! You don’t need to remind me of how ugly I am right now…!”
“...I didn’t say that. If this is what this is about, I find you quite beautiful.”
“H… Haaaaah!? The hell does that mean!? And is this what you were doing to Misumi-san in the dark before I got here!?”
“Jealous, are we~?”
“Sh-Shut up! I’m not jealous!”
“Pfft… hahaha!” Uika laughed despite herself. “Sorry, sorry… it’s just…! You two really are perfect for one another…!”
“...Heh. She wishes.” Taki smiled in return, wiping a tear away. “...Thanks, guys. I feel a little better now, having gotten all this off my chest.”
“You mean, after experiencing my expert soothing techniques.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever, Umiri.”
As the two dark-haired girls continued their bickering, Uika took a deep breath, looked inside herself, and gathered her courage. Feeling ready, she suddenly stood up, catching the attention of her classmates. “Okay, I’m feeling ready…! How about we all head back?”
“That’s bold of you, Misu– um, U-Uika.” Taki corrected herself, feeling like they were close enough to drop the honorifics.
“I just… I feel like if I’m with you two… I can handle the loneliness fine enough.”
“I…” The drummer thought for a moment, then got up as well. “...Yeah. Let’s go. Together, right?”
“Mhm. T-Together!”
“...” Umiri, suddenly feeling jealous herself, got up, put herself between the two, and took their hands in hers. “Very well then. Let’s go, you cheaters.”
“Wha– cheaters!? Umiri-chan…!”
“Haaaah!?”
As the three walked out of the cramped storage room, they couldn’t help but smile. This day, which promised to be miserable for them all, had suddenly become something they would look back on fondly.
What family failed to provide for them, perhaps they can find in friendship.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Misaka Runa?”
“Here!”
As the last person in their class to be called before Uika got up, her parents following her inside the classroom, Umiri felt her hand being gripped tighter by the blonde. Surprised at this, the bassist turned her head towards her.
“Is everything all right, Misumi-san?”
“Ah– um, y-yes, I just… I guess that now that we’re so close to my turn, I feel a little… I don’t know, anxious?” Uika smiled half-heartedly.
“Yeah, I get that… no matter how good your grades are, it’s still stressful to have a one-on-one with your teacher like that, isn’t it?”
“Maybe for you, Taki-san. If your grades were better…” Umiri playfully teased her friend.
“Hey, that’s uncalled for!”
“Hahaha! Gosh, you two– u-um…”
“Hm?” Umiri turned back towards Uika, wondering why she suddenly stopped talking. “What’s wron–”
“U-chaaan! There you are…! I’ve been looking for you this whole time!”
“...Shoot.”
“Come give your mama a hug–”
“H-Hello, Yahata-san.” Taki acted fast, standing up and putting herself between the two. “My name is Taki Shiina. I’m happy to meet you.”
“Oh, are you one of U-chan’s friends…? How wonderful…!”
“That’s right. Um, you see, Umiri is– um…” The drummer tried to find some excuse to get Umiri some space from her family, even for a moment, but came up short. “She’s… trying to study for next month’s test. And, um, we’re helping her, but she needs to stay focused…”
“Oh? Do you need my help!? I actually remember a lot of my time in high school, you know!”
“Th-That’s…”
“Hello!” Sensing her friend beginning to falter, Uika took the lead, standing up and putting on her best idol’s smile. “My name is Uika. I’m another of her friends! Um, you see… they recently changed the curriculum, so it’s actually quite different from what you learned at our age.”
“…” Umiri, meanwhile, looked on in awe as her friends bent over backwards to give her the space she needed. She watched as her usually-unstoppable mother came to a halt, smiled, and said goodbye, before walking away for the moment. “You two… thank you.”
“Of course, Umiri.”
“Misumi Uika! Misumi Uika?”
“Ah– here…!” Uika responded, turning to her friends before going. “I’ll be right back, okay?”
The two dark-haired girls waved as they watched their friend go inside. Slowly, silence fell between the two, and their usual dynamic found its place once more. They always both enjoyed silence most, after all, especially when it’s just the two of them. Eventually, though, Umiri spoke up once again.
“...Why did you do that for me?”
“Haah? What does that mean?”
“You dislike your family for being neglectful. Shouldn’t you be more than fine with your friend’s family being the exact opposite of that?”
“...That’s got to be the stupidest thing you’ve said all day.”
“Huh?”
“Just because your family’s a pain in the ass in a different way from mine doesn’t mean you “don’t know how good you’ve got it” or whatever. Our families can suck in different ways.”
“Is that so…?”
“Did you think that you were ungrateful?”
“...” Umiri did not respond.
“...Well. Either way,” the drummer continued, “you certainly didn’t seem upset to see her go. So I think I was right to do this.”
“...You were.”
“H-Hey, are you… crying…!?”
“I-It’s just my pollen allergies…!”
“It’s the middle of winter!”
“*sigh* I’m sorry, Misumi-san… I’ll ask them to keep it down.”
“No, no, it’s fine!”
“Well, if you say so…”
As Uika heard the sounds of bickering coming from outside the classroom door, she couldn’t help but smile.
If she had to have any friends at school, she was glad it was these two.